Wizards of Waverly Place s01e01 Episode Script

Edgebono utoosis, Good.
Thank you, Justin.
That is how you execute the duplication spell properly.
Real rabbit.
Duplicate rab-- No.
Duplicate rabbit, real-- lt's-- Anyway, there's two now.
What's the big deal? They're rabbits.
Wait five minutes and they'll duplicate by themselves.
Remember, as with any spell, if you don't concentrate, it doesn't come out exactly right.
Cool.
l've always wanted a guard rabbit.
You know, scare off the mailman.
l was thinking about dogs when l cast the spell.
Now, are there any questions about the spell? Anyone who doesn't look like they're about to wreck their pants? - The Crazy Ten-Minute Sale! - The crazy what? Every year this cool clothing store, Suburban Outfitters, has this crazy sale for ten minutes where they practically give stuff away and-- - What are you doing? - Fast-forwarding to the part where this sale is more important than the magic lesson.
- Well, Gigi's gonna be there.
- Who's Gigi? Don't you remember? My enemy since kindergarten, when she spilled juice on my mat during nap time and told everyone l had an accident.
This is fascinating.
Tell me more.
Well, l'm sick of Gigi.
She's always rubbing stuff in my face.
The point is, l'm tired of her always showing me up at school.
Can l please skip class on Thursday to go to the sale? Let's roll the answer dice, shall we? No.
Come on.
- But, Dad-- - But nothing.
Look, you have wizard training on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and you're not ditching.
You're right, you're right.
l'm sorry.
l'm gonna totally focus on the magic.
l have a question about the spell.
Thank you.
How do l use it to get cool clothes before Gigi? Are you as excited about the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale as l am? l can't go.
But l drew up a game plan so we could get into the store before Gigi.
l thought we agreed that we hate Gigi so much we'd never say her name.
But you just said ''Gigi.
'' Okay, from now on we'll say her name backwards.
But ''Gigi'' backwards is still ''Gigi.
'' That's right.
We'll say ''Gigi'' but only we'll know it's backwards.
lt'll be hilarious.
l like it.
Anyway, do you remember that one-of-a-kind jacket in the window you've been wanting? lt's gonna be in the sale.
lt all sounds good, but l can't go.
lt's on Thursday.
l have a family commitment.
Do you also have a commitment to letting Gigi run all over you for the rest of your life? Great.
Here she comes with her copycat crew.
Act like we don't care.
Bonjour, Alex.
Bonjour, Alex's friend.
Nice shoes.
l mean, l don't care about you or your shoes.
Yeah, l've had these shoes for about a week.
Oh, l mean, l'd give them to you, but l already promised them to another charity.
No, you should keep them.
They go so well with your eyebrow.
Well, at least l don't have man hands.
l mean, how do you get those meat stubs through your sleeves? What happened to you two? Pick your noses so hard they fell off? They got nose jobs.
When they heal, they'll be just like Gigi's.
When is Gigi's gonna heal? People always take shots at the trendsetter.
And by the way, l saw you looking at that jacket at Suburban Outfitters.
And good for you for knowing you need a new one.
But it's mine.
And it'll look so much better on me.
Not if l get it first.
Well, good luck finding it.
l already went down there and hid it.
Hey, that's not in the spirit of the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale.
Yeah! Whatever.
Come on, girls.
Time to change your gauze.
Look! Alex had an accident again! Gigi, this is silly.
How long is this gonna go on? We've been fighting with each other forever.
Fighting? Really? Let's see.
l've won, like, 300 times and you've won none.
So it's not really a fight.
She has won an awful lot.
That's it.
We're going to that sale and l'm gonna show her up.
But l thought you had a commitment.
l'll work it out with my parents.
Sure, they're pretty understanding.
No, l'm just really sneaky.
Honey? Honey? Listen.
So l need you to back me up on this.
l told Alex she couldn't miss wizard class to go to some crazy sale on Thursday.
Okay.
Wait.
Do you mean the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale? That's the one.
Thank you for reminding me.
l almost forgot.
lt doesn't sound like you're gonna back me up.
Don't worry, l am.
Who's not allowed to go again? - Alex.
- Right.
Wizard mail's here.
Oh, wizards weekly, Let's see if they printed my letter to the editor.
l wish they'd take those out for people who already have subscriptions.
My wand didn't show up.
That's bunk.
l need my magic wand so l don't have to learn spells anymore.
Max, you're always gonna need to know spells.
Look, if l give you a bike, that doesn't mean you know how to ride it.
Awesome.
l'm getting a bike? Look, l know how excited you are about getting your first wand.
So until it comes, how about using old Black Licorice here? Yeah, that looks like something you get out of a cereal box.
Come on.
This is a 77 Wandwarp Featherlight.
They don't even make these anymore.
l can see why.
Look, if you're not gonna take care of it, then l'm not gonna give it to you.
lt has tremendous sentimental value.
This is the wand that helped me get the goblins out of the basement when l was your age.
And it's a tremendous back scratcher.
See? Cool.
lt's a little dinged up, but-- You can see where l filled it in with black nail polish.
There's a lot of great memories wrapped up in this wand.
And a lot of stories l'm tired of hearing.
She said it, we didn't.
- How do l look? - Why? Because l'm going to duplicate myself.
And if l look ugly, l don't wanna look twice as ugly.
What are you talking about? l'm talking about taking Gigi down, and it's gonna take more than one of me to do it.
Edgebono utoosis, Now that's cool.
l wanna make two of me so l can give myself a wedgie.
Why would you wanna do that? Because l wanna see what it feels like, but l wanna get it from someone l trust.
Afternoon, Alex.
Other Alex.
You're both clearly up to no good.
Max, just help me get me ready so it looks like l'm here so l can leave.
Wow, l did a great job.
l look good.
l was thinking about your stupid barking rabbit.
Yep, it's perfect, because that's what l hear when you talk to me.
Bad girl.
No barking, just pout.
Yeah, l don't see how this could possibly go wrong.
lt'll be fine.
The real me is upset with Dad, which means l pout and give him the silent treatment.
Yeah, but for how long? Well, this has to pout for the Ten-Minute Sale plus travel time, which shouldn't be a problem, because my pout record is, like, four days.
- Hello? - Alex, are you sneaking away or not? The doors are gonna open any minute and Gigi's already in the front.
How did she get up front? l don't know, but she's telling everybody you shop in pre-teen.
Which l said wasn't a slam, because a lot of their stuff is really, really cute.
Like my sunflower top that goes with my rainbow socks.
l'll be right there.
Wait, you're not wearing that, are you? No.
You really think Dad'll be fooled with this thing sitting here with that glassy look in its eye, totally disconnected during class? Wow, you're right.
This could work.
What if Dad asks you to change seats or something? l don't know, cover for me.
Why would l cover for you? Because l'll buy you a brand new pair of sneakers.
Sold.
Good boy.
l'm off to the sale.
And Mom and Dad know nothing about that, right? l'm a size 5.
That's your price? A new pair of sneakers? Apparently.
But the joke's on her.
l'm gonna get some new sneakers for doing nothing.
What are you gonna do when she falls over? That will never happen.
You're right.
lt'll never happen.
Hi, Harper.
Hi, Alex's mom.
Oh, my gosh, Alex's mom? l know it's weird for a grownup to be here, but since Alex couldn't come, l'm gonna get something for her.
Well, this will be fun.
lt's a chance for you and me to spend some time together, you know? Chill.
Excuse me.
There you are.
How did you find me with all these people? l saw your rainbow socks from down the block.
Sorry l'm late.
lt took a while to ditch the family.
Well, you didn't do a very good job.
Your mom's here.
- What? - Relax.
l sent her down the block to find some tappuccinos.
There's no such thing as a tappuccino.
l know.
Wow, l'm impressed.
You're becoming more like me every day.
- Okay, move.
- Sorry.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Nice try, Gigi.
But it looks like l got in the front of the line too.
Well, l know where the jacket is, and you don't.
What's that? You're looking for a racket? Well, l'm looking for a jacket.
And l'm gonna get it before you do.
l can't believe you brought your grandma.
She's not gonna help you get in first.
She's not my grandma.
l found her at the park.
She's here to block.
Where is it? lt was right here.
Excuse me.
There was a huge pile of clothes right there.
Where is it? Oh, we completely rearranged the store for the sale, because a lot of people sneak in early and hide stuff.
lt's not really in the spirit of the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale.
lt's anybody's jacket now.
Harper.
Harper? l found our tappuccinos.
lt's steamed milk and tap water.
She's too heavy.
Can you give me a hand? Why don't you use Dad's wand to move her? l can't find it.
Either l just found Dad's wand or l cracked my butt knuckle.
l'm no doctor, but l'm fairly certain there's no such thing as a butt knuckle.
No.
No, no, no.
Dad's gonna wig out.
You know, if l wasn't getting new sneakers, l'd be really freaked out.
Oh, l'd be really freaked out anyway.
Justin, will you at least help prop her up? Sure, because she's done so much for me.
What are you doing? Dancing.
With my sister.
Practicing for that new reality show, Dancing with my Sister, Okay, guys, before we get started today, l just wanna point out the good example set by your sister.
She really wanted to go shopping, but instead she's right here, ready to learn.
l think we're all gonna learn something real soon.
Alex, l'm very proud of you.
So proud that l'm gonna give you permission to miss today's lesson and go to that sale.
So go ahead and have fun.
Seriously.
Go.
Oh, l get it.
You need money.
l'm sorry.
Go ahead, take it.
Take it.
Yeah, Alex.
Take it.
Alex used the duplication spell and went to the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale.
Wow, looks like she did.
This is way worse than me breaking your wand, right? You--? Alex, wand.
Alex, wand.
Alex! Wow, he didn't even care about the wand.
That would've been a good time to tell him l broke his new drill.
You broke his drill? l think so.
l'll find out when l put the pieces back together.
Check it out.
My new eWand.
Oh, an eWand.
The strap is for safety.
Good point.
Now that we've got safety out of the way, let's rock.
Slippery.
Wow, they should make something that attaches to the wand so that doesn't happen.
Alex, hide.
Your mom's right behind me.
What? Harper, there you are.
l found our tappuccinos.
They're surprisingly delicious.
l'm sorry.
Let's go tell a manager.
Eight minutes left in the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale.
Eight minutes.
Are you kidding me? l've only got eight minutes to find something for Alex.
What do you think she'd like? For you to leave.
What? This is your size.
Go try it on.
Alex, are you okay? l'm fine, l'm fine.
Did my mom see me? No, l sent her to the dressing room.
This is our chance.
Let's get out.
Oh, no, no, no.
l am not leaving without that jacket.
l have choked on too many blouses to let Gigi get that jacket.
Harper.
l'm going back in.
Hey, what else does this thing do? Standard magic stuff.
lt opens portals, disappears objects, levitates things, and-- Oh, my gosh.
- What? - lt's an MP3 player.
lt holds a trillion songs.
No way.
Oh, and it says here it has eMimic feature.
What's that? l think l just found out.
Hey, Alex, why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? l don't know.
Oh, l know what you're doing.
We must be getting close to the jacket.
You're trying to distract me.
Are you hitting yourself? You've got problems.
- Good burn.
- l know, l thought it and then l said it.
Well, what are you doing now? What does it look like l'm doing? l'm dancing like a chicken.
l don't even know why l try to embarrass you.
l mean, you're so good at it yourself.
l don't know what's happening.
l do.
You're dancing like an Egyptian.
Hey, everyone, there's a freak show by the jeans rack.
Hey, Alex, l think we caught a break.
There's some freak show by the jeans.
Let's go look.
Harper, those are the jeans.
l'm the freak show.
Faster.
Faster.
Let's see if it'll throw up.
- Size 7.
Perfect.
Thanks, Alex.
- Help me! Theresa.
Where's Alex? Jerry, she's with you.
No, she's not.
She cut class.
l came down here to look for her.
Well, l haven't seen her.
l think l just did.
Alex, stop spinning wildly out of control and get over here.
l can't! What do you think's going on? l think Max got his new wand.
l found it.
l found the jacket.
Hey, Gigi, guess what's in my meat hands.
- Give me the jacket.
Give it to me.
Give-- - No.
Well, it looks like the tinklee became the tinkler.
Oh, please.
Everybody saw her spill that on me.
Yeah, but it's on your front.
lt does look like you went.
But what are you two talking about? l mean, you just saw that.
Where are you going? We have the same noses.
They're gone, Gigi.
They left you.
Okay, maybe you're right.
This has been going on for too long.
No, it hasn't.
l'm just getting good at it.
ln fact, l think it's time for a little announcement.
Okay, l know l'm in trouble.
But just, like, one second.
Attention, shoppers.
Attention, shoppers.
Gigi's real name is Gertude.
Okay, now l can go.
These sales get crazier and crazier every year.
Oh, Alex.
Dad's looking for you.
And he found you.
Did you get your wand today, Max? Yeah.
Because whatever you were doing to this dummy was happening to this dummy.
Oh, that's what the ''mimic'' in eMimic means.
l told you we should've read the manual.
Max, you know better than to use magic without my permission.
You're right, Dad.
You're right.
lt was pretty bad what l did.
But not as bad as Alex using magic to cut class to go to some sale.
Yes, Max.
Thank you.
And you and l by no means are done talking about this.
l know.
But before we get into it, l think you should know, l heard Justin broke your drill.
My brand new drill? Max broke your wand.
- Did you use magic to break my drill? - No.
You're clear.
Go.
Did you use magic to break my wand? No, l sat on it.
You're clear.
Go.
And we have a winner.
Dad, l know you're mad, but l can explain.
Gigi has been making me look bad forever, and this was a huge chance to get back at her.
So l went for it.
Revenge.
- So you do get it? - l get it.
But let's look at it, shall we? Was revenge worth missing your wizard training? Was it worth having your brother lie for you, or your best friend lie to your mom down at that store? And speaking of your mother, she's got me trying to make her a tappuccino? So what you're saying is, by getting back at Gigi, l was really hurting myself? No, but l like that better.
So since l figured that out, l should pick my own punishment, right? No.
Why don't you take my punishment and duplicate it? - You're grounded for one week.
- Does that mean two weeks? Oh, now it's four.
l love this game.
Good talk, sweetie.
Oh, you hush up.
- So l'm glad you learned your lesson.
- Me too.
Good.
Now, your mom wants me to take her out dancing, but the big game is on tonight.
Dad, that sounds like your punishment, not mine.
Then you see what l'm getting at.
Oh, you want me to duplicate you so you can go dancing and watch the game.
A little.
Oh, well, if you have to punish me, l guess you have to punish me.
Edgebono utoosis, Have her home by 1 1 .