Woke (2020) s01e01 Episode Script
Rhymes with Broke
SINGER: I'm takin'
you hostage ♪
I'm takin' control ♪
I got your heart
in the palm of my hand ♪
And I ain't lettin' it go ♪
I got your emotions♪
CLOVIS: What's all this shit?
Man, I'm tryin' to eat.
- Just please,
don't touch anything,
all right?
CLOVIS: [softly] All right.
You ready?
- Oh, yeah.
Take a final look.
It's the last time
you're gonna see
broke Keef Knight.
CLOVIS: That's my boy.
SINGER: And it feels
I'ma comin' for you ♪
KEEF: I see you, Mrs. Chang.
- I know.
SINGER: I'm gettin'
in your head ♪
I'm gettin' in your head ♪
I'm gettin' in your head ♪
KEEF: Looking good, Alice.
- Lookin' pretty good,
too, Keef!
Why don't you come over here
and sit on Mama's lap?
- Maybe on Thursday.
SINGER: I know
you wanted to ♪
You can't get away
from the feelin' ♪
CINDY:
Say "syndication" on three.
PHIL: One, two, three.
ALL: Syndication!
[laughter]
CINDY: Whoo!
PHIL: I love it!
CINDY: Toast -N- Butter,
coast-to-coast!
SINGER: That feeling ♪
I was in the show,
I'll never let ya go ♪
I'm gettin' in your head ♪
I'm gettin'
in your head ♪
I'm gettin' in your♪
KEEF: Hey.
TRINA: Hey.
SINGER:
Got it in your head ♪
- That's for you.
- Ah, thank you.
That's for me?
Oh, okay.
- [chuckles softly]
How'd the shoot go?
- Oh!
Nailed it.
I made love to the camera.
[both laugh]
KEEF: How was court?
- Nailed it.
Did not make love to anyone.
- Ah, that's unfortunate.
TRINA: Bam.
KEEF: Shut up.
- The Bernal Heights place.
- It's ours if we want it.
- Oh, my God, I feel like
I'm dreaming--am I dreaming?
- You're not.
[both chuckle]
You deserve this.
- I do deserve this.
- Have you told Gunther
and Clovis yet?
- Oh, that I plan on
movin' out?
I will later.
I mean, it's a delicate
situation.
I expect tears.
- A couple of Happy Meals
should soften the blow.
- Yeah, maybe some ice cream
and a little
TRINA: Yeah.
- Temple massage.
[upbeat music]
♪
[bus hisses]
- Hey, uh, I--
- I love Toast -N- Butter.
- Cool, man, me too.
- I do a little
Toast -N- Butter
doodling myself.
- That's awesome, man.
I make it.
- S-so you're Keef Knight?
- I am, yeah.
BUS RIDER: Huh.
You know, it's funny,
I didn't think you'd be
Tall.
- Happens all the time.
[electronic music]
♪
- Hey, hey, Nance!
NANCY: Hey, Keef.
- Uh, you mind if I put out
some flyers?
- Only if you get me passes
to Golden Con.
- Absolutely not.
No, I'm kidding.
- Oh ho ho!
- I will, I got you.
- Okay, you better.
- I would never forget
about you.
You know, I did my first
Toast -N- Butter cartoon
on the back room wall.
- Mm-hmm, it's still there.
- I know.
Someone drew a dick
in Toast's mouth.
- Uh, I was drunk. Yeah.
- Okay, I thought that was you.
- What up, Keef?
NANCY: Out!
- Nance, come on!
NANCY: No, outside.
Go, go, go--out!
- Ah, a'ight--uh, Keef--
- I got you.
- A'ight, a'ight.
Bye, Nancy!
NANCY: Bye! Bye!
- Still?
- Yep.
KEEF: Okay, makes sense.
NANCY: Okay.
- Keef Knight?
You do Toast -N- butter,
right?
- Uh, yeah.
- Oh, wow, that's so cool.
I fucking love how TNB
talks about race
and color in America.
Like when Toast gets too dark
and The Man scrapes it off
or puts butter on it.
Facts.
- Wow, that's the
first time I heard that one.
- I just love your work
and what you say with it.
I work for a new publication,
The Bay Arean,
and we're looking for
controversial artists
who are confronting
the shitstorm of race
and class and--
- Yeah, but I'm not
controversial.
- You'rea black cartoonist.
You're controversial
just by existing.
- Why is it that
as people of color
we're always having
to stand for something
oryou know, say something
in our work, you know?
I'm just a cartoonist.
- Because the world's
a racist, fucked-up place.
- And that's why I keep it
light, you know?
It's just a comic strip
about bored breakfast food.
- Keep it light.
- Yeah.
Keep it light.
Okay.
[hip-hop music]
SINGER: Wha, wha,
hey, hey, hey ♪
Hey, hey, hey,
diamonds, diamonds ♪
- Call me.
- I will definitely call you.
Hey, be ready for them
courtside seats.
Ahhhh
- So, Clovis,
who are you today?
- Baron Davis.
- The basketball player
- Yeah.
- Baron Davis is like 6'3"
and drives a car.
You don't have
any of those things.
- Your point?
He's black, I'm black.
She Filipino.
Anything above 5'5"
is tall to them.
If she can't tell
the difference, who am I
to rain on my parade?
Come on, now.
[chuckling]
- I'm so sorry.
Were you still talking?
I stopped listening
a long time ago.
- Ah ha ha!
How hype are you
for Golden Con?
- Oh, man.
- Hey, once your strip blows,
dude, you gonna be like
the next Aaron McGruder.
All right?
Newspapers, TV show.
Movie deals!
- [sighs]
- I can't wait.
I'ma get so much ass.
- I just want decent
medical insurance.
- Why you such a cornball,
man?
KEEF: [laughs]
- Oh, shit!
Hey, somebody's missin' this.
[laughs]
Oh, no.
I do not fuck with
white women's wallets, now.
- Hold on, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can't just leave it here.
- The fuck are you doin'?
- Well, we gotta turn it in.
- Oh, s-so you feel like
spendin', what,
the rest of the night
explaining why there's
no money in there?
And what if she's missin'?
What if she's dead and raped
in Golden Gate Park?
- Oh, my God, why do you
always assume the worst?
- Because when you assume
the worst,
you can't be surprised
when it actually happens?
- A wise man once said
- Oh.
- You should never judge
a wallet by the color of
its owner's skin.
- Okay.
KEEF: Sometimes, a lost
wallet is just that--
a lost wallet.
Now, excuse me while
I do the right thing.
- Okay, cool, man.
KEEF: Hey--
Why would you do that?
You got issues, man.
[energetic rock music]
♪
SINGER: It seems like
a fault in design ♪
[Toro y Moi's Mirage]
I seek you out
and you never ♪
Seem to have the time ♪
We're all too careful now ♪
[music continues, muffled]
Too close♪
- Ah-hem!
Hey. Ha.
Hey, what's up?
It's the house meeting.
Come on.
I told you guys about this
like three days ago.
Let's go, let's go.
- [groans]
- Just a short
little presentation.
Come on in.
GUNTHER: Get friendly. Go on.
KEEF: Okay.
- What if I told you
that you could save
the rainforest
with an energy drink?
An energy drink that uses
no water and no plastics,
thus and thereby reducing
our carbon footprint, right?
- Go on.
- Well, do I have
a product for you.
Boom!
Ha ha.
- Uhwhat is that?
- Oh, shit, this?
Uh, this is a revolutionary
product, actually.
This is, uh, this is 99.95%
non-GMO, all-natural
Peruvian coca extract
in powder form.
- So it's cocaine.
- It's not, it's, um,
it's a supplement
that allows you to stay up
all night
with sensei-like focus
and rock star confidence.
- Like cocaine?
GUNTHER: It's not cocaine.
It's, um
it's got guarana in it,
it's made from plants.
- So it's like really good
cocaine.
- Ha ha ha ha!
It's notha.
Not cocaine!
And I feel like you guys
are missing the point.
And, uh, the point is
Oh, here we go.
[loudly]
I'm gonna revolutionize
energy drinks!
And then, uh, probably some
fireworks are gonna go off,
and that's the end
of the presentation,
and you guys invest money.
Invest money.
Invest money.
- All right, you know,
honestly,
I think we probably
gonna talk about this,
go over it a little bit
and, uh,
we gonna get back to you.
- I will succeed.
You have no idea
how focused I am.
- Oh, we have some idea.
GUNTHER: Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah, we do.
[Bill Withers' Lovely Day
plays]
SINGER: When I wake up
in the morning, love ♪
♪
KEEF: Check it out.
SINGER: And the sunlight
hurts my eyes ♪
♪
And somethin'
without warning, love ♪
- Here you go.
SINGER:
Bears heavy on my mind ♪
♪
Then I look at you ♪
And the world's
all right with me ♪
♪
- Just one look-- ♪
COP: Don't even think about it!
- Don't move, don't move.
- Central, we have the suspect.
- Suspect--what?
COP: 6' tall black male.
COP: What's in the bag?
- It's just a stapler.
COP: He's got a weapon!
KEEF: No, no, no,
just a stapler!
No, no, no, you got
the wrong guy!
KEEF: Oof!
COP: Stop resisting!
Gimme your fuckin' hands!
KEEF: Aah!
GUNTHER: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Excuse me!
- Gunther,
[slow motion] noooooo!
COP: Nothing to see here.
We got it under control.
COP: Sir--hold on--
- Bitch-ass cops, what--
Hey--
- Aah!
- It's not fine!
You're acting not right.
Hey, don't you touch--
[voice echoing]
Hell, no!
What are you doing?
[heartbeat thumping]
[echoing]
Don't you touch me.
I'll have your badge, buddy.
Get off my friend.
COP: Copy that.
- Get outta my face!
COP: This isn't the suspect.
He's not the mugger.
GUNTHER: Oh, no shit!
[persistent ringing]
[echoing]
Ahh!
Aah!
GUNTHER: That was
messed up, bro.
I can't believe
they did us like that!
Are you cool?
You need some weed?
- No, I'm--dude, I'm good, man.
I'm good, I'm, uh
I'll--I'll catch you back
at the
flat.
Yeah.
[Lil' Smizz's Boss plays]
SINGER: Stop fucking
with my heart ♪
♪
Nigga, it was my dream,
fool ♪
♪
Oh, now you a man, ho ♪
♪
I don't need that stress ♪
I'm a boss
in a fuckin' dress ♪
Nigga, stay in line ♪
[all speaking foreign language]
Stop fuckin' with my heart ♪
- Water?
VOICE: Psst, hey, hey,
hey, yo, Poindexter!
Over here, man.
Fuck that water, bitch.
Come on over here
and get this booze.
VOICE 2: I can't believe
you called him a bitch.
VOICE: [laughs]
Don't fret, muh nigga.
You know you want this flavor. VOICE 2: That's right.
Come get this hottie.
- I go great with Menthols
and poverty-induced PTSDs.
I don't go well with gonorrhea.
Ya feel me?
MALT LIQUOR 2: Hmm, hmm.
Did you know malt liquor
- Whatthe
- Makes black people
impervious to bullets.
- For real?
[both laughing]
- No, it don't, nigga.
[laughing] It don't.
- Further, dawg, malt liquor
been a black man's best friend
since '48.
- Shh, shh, shh.
Cracker alert!
- Honky on deck.
KEEF: You okay?
I'm okay, ha.
Good day.
All right.
I'm not crazy.
NoI'm not crazy.
MALT LIQUOR 2: What?
You standing here in front
of God and everybody
talking to a bottle
of malt liquor.
Nah, that ain't crazy.
- Mr. Policeman did a number
on you, didn't he?
Ha. Good thing, too.
We been tryin' to holler
at your ass for a minute.
Now you can finally hear us.
It's just like havin'
a superpower.
- Yeah, if crazy
was a superpower.
KEEF: No. No, no.
[bottles laughing]
MALT LIQUOR:
Now, but seriously,
you extra as fuck now.
- Enjoy.
KEEF: Wait.
Are you real, or
- Lemme--lemme put it
like this.
Your third eye is definitely
open for business!
- Oh, no, no, no, no
MALT LIQUOR 2:
Buckle up, nigga.
This ride ain't for the weak.
Where you goin'?
Let's bail, baby.
- You can't run
from this, Poindexter!
MALT LIQUOR 2: We are you!
- Drink us, nigga!
[door closes]
[whispers]
Hello?
PHIL: [funny voices]
Toast-N-Butter.
Bloom & Hill.
It's a magical partnership.
We got news for you, Keef!
- We--we
we are just so jazzed
for your Golden Con panel
on Saturday.
- Gonna live stream it.
We really think
it'll widen your audience.
- And at the panel,
we'll announce
Toast -N- Butter starts
syndication next week.
- Yeah, it's gonna open
in 35 markets in the U.S.!
- And we just found out
that the top-selling bread
in the U.S.
wants to license your artwork.
- How excited are you, huh?
How excited are we?
- Are you okay?
- Does this photo look right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Did you guys
lighten my photo?
II look like Sammy Sosa.
- Uhthat's just
a mock-up for publicity.
So
- Am I too black
for my own comic strip?
- [laughing] No, trust me.
No one's gonna ever
accuse you of being
too black, okay?
- I'm sorry, what?
- What?
- Hmm?
- Hmm?
- What'd you say?
- What he means to say
is it's what we like
about you.
Your crossover index
is in the 95th percentile.
Here at B&H,
we champion the data.
We don't see color.
PHIL: Racial stuff, huh?
Am I right?
- Sammy!
Uhha.
I am so sorry, but I--
I-I really have to go.
Uh
- Is he mad?
[intense rock music]
♪
- Stupid.
[muttering]
Man.
Yeah, all right.
SINGER:
What's that sound,
coming down? ♪
Breaking ground all around,
hear it pound ♪
Something wicked
this way comes, comes ♪
Vocals, guitar ♪
Darnell
SINGER: Playin' with
the money like ♪
Wha wha wha wha ♪
Wha wha ♪
I'll be playin'
with the money like wha ♪
Still got a lot more ta go ♪
Made it back 'fore
I walk through the door ♪
- Welcome to Darnell's.
SINGER: Like wah, wah ♪
- So
whereis
Darnell?
BARBER: The old black dude?
He retired.
Went back down South.
But we kept the name
and the soul of the place.
Still got all the Ebony
and Jet magazines.
Plus, complimentary Hennessy.
SINGER: Yeah, uh-huh,
we tryin' to eat ♪
Makin' money,
take it back to the streets ♪
- I know.
[shears buzzing]
You want a number 42.
- Okay.
[jazzy music]
None of this makes sense.
VOICE: Keefy K,
where you goin'?
I know you hear me.
Down here, my brother.
That's right.
I'm a talkin' trashcan.
I got eyes, I got a nose.
I can smell things.
I stink sometimes.
I'm a trashcan.
And that ain't even
close to normal,
but you ain't even close
to normal, not anymore.
- Oh, this is, this is
come on Keef, Keef, Keef.
This is all wrong.
TRASHCAN: I tell you
what's wrong.
Those man-bun co-optin'
gentrifyin' devils!
That ain't no barber shop
in there.
That's a negro-land section
of some bullshit
hipster magical kingdom
where everybody's so fascinated
with whiskey.
What's left for
a burdened black man
if we can't go to
the barber shop?
Therapy?
You know we don't
trust doctors.
Spin class?
We don't ride bicycles
that don't go nowhere.
You really think Darnell
moved away.
Or was he forced out?
Darnell ain't from the South.
He from Cleveland.
- [softly] Nono
- Keef, I'm a trashcan.
I don't have arms.
I can't fight 'em.
But you can.
- Nonono
- Fuck 'em.
- Fuck 'em.
- Yeah, fuck 'em.
KEEF: Fuck 'em!
TRASHCAN: Fuck 'em!
- Fuck 'em!
- Fuck 'em!
- Fuck 'em!
- You know what to do.
- Oh, I know what to do.
Ha ha.
Oh, I know exactly
what to do.
What do I do?
- You know what to do.
- The right thing.
[funky music]
♪
Aah!
TRASHCAN: Fuck 'em!
[soft percussive music]
♪
You gonna talk to me now too?
No?
Anybody else?
Anybody wanna get
anything off they chest?
What about you, huh?
Nothin'?
I'm crazy.
Oh, boy.
COOK: And this celery
is gonna add not just texture
but just a little--
- Well, you can't get
no sicker than that.
[laughter]
CLOVIS: This ain't
really my crib.
What's up, my boy?
Hey, umwe, uh, just
passin' through.
I'ma do a quick little change.
Keef, this is Simone.
Simone, this is Keef.
SIMONE: Where's the bathroom?
First door on the right.
Yeah, there you go.
All right with your fine self.
Ah, ah.
- So
CLOVIS: Mm-hmm.
- Who are you today?
- I play, uh, soccer, okay?
For a team in Brazil.
But call that shit fútbol.
- You're a professional
soccer star
CLOVIS: Yeah.
- Who lives here
with roommates.
- It's fútbol.
KEEF: Mm.
- You droppin' the ball
right now.
And I-I don't live here.
Look at this.
I got a crib.
I got a mansion in Rio.
- Real quick, uh, what language
do they speak in Brazil?
- Brazilianese.
I don't know--shit.
- Okay.
Yeah, you got it.
- Don't hold me down.
- Extraordinary!
Tell me about this.
- Oh, I love
Antique Appraisals!
KEEF: Mmm.
Isn't it great?
ANNE: Well, it was given
to me by my great-
great uncle,
Colonel John Beasly.
He got it as a gift
from the Sioux tribe.
- Oh, for fuck's sakes,
how many times
do I have to tell you?
It's Yokut, not Sioux!
Yokut.
- Mm.
- Beasly and his regiment
slaughtered the tribe
that made me,
took all their possessions,
and raped the horses.
- Raped the horses?
SPOON: You heard me.
Raped the horses.
- What?
- Huh? What?
- That white man was a freak!
He even stuck me up his ass
while he was doin' it!
Horse rapist!
Motherfuck him and John Wayne.
- Huhhe raped the horses.
This guy, but not--
the person who gave
the spoon, he would--
This is your favorite show.
It's not mine, I mean, it's--
- Simone, you ready, cutie?
She still in the bathroom?
- Y--uh
So he was rapin' horses,
and I told her he was
rapin' horses--
- Have you lost your mind?
We--we said fútbol.
- I am sitting here trying
to watch
this white celebration
of cultural plunder.
Let me ask you a question,
Clovis.
Have you ever seen black people
on Antique Appraisals?
- No! Because black people
like new shit.
GUNTHER: Whoo!
Ho ho ho!
Man.
Yep, guess who just got
seed money for
his new energy powder?
Oh, God, what?
Is this an intervention?
Because I can quit anytime.
CLOVIS: Gunther,
not right now, bro.
Go back in your room.
I'm talkin' to Keef.
I'm trying to figure out
where my girl went.
- No way, I'm too jacked up.
Let's pop bottles,
make cupcakes--
- Why don't we just shut up
for second!
All I wanna do is watch TV.
- [sighs]
What's really goin' on,
bro?
- What, is this about the
cop thing?
- What cop thing?
KEEF: Okay.
Soso earlier,
I got my ass beat by the police
because apparently
I fit the description.
- 6' black male.
- Bro, we are all
6' black men to them.
All of us!
- Sure, I mean, you're
shorter than that,
butget what you're saying.
- I--it was--
I didn't do anything!
I was just walking and then
and then Gunther showed up
and he took on the entire
SFPD by himself.
- Ha ha, yes, I did.
I was pissed, dude.
You shoulda saw me.
I was all up in this cop's face
and I, like,
grabbed his wrist.
CLOVIS: Really?
- Probably bruised it.
- They shoulda shot you.
- No, no, they'd never do that.
CLOVIS: Damn, bro.
- Well, they would have,
you know,
if he wereif he was--
if he was black.
- Houston, we have a problem.
This nigga woke.
- Which isgreat news.
That's a great thing, right?
- You worked hard not to be
that brother, didn't you?
And you felt special.
Then the police showed up
and what?
They showed you how they
feel about special niggas?
Now we gotta hear about it
because all the shit
is new to you?
Come on, man!
- No, no, see,
I'm not stupid, okay?
I know this type of stuff
happens all the time,
and I know this is gonna
sound fucked up, but
I just didn't think
it would happen to me.
- Well, who did you think
it was gonna happen to, Keef?
Huh? Who?
- You.
And then ever since then,
my mind has been--ah!
Man, you don't wanna know
what's goin' on in my brain
right now.
CLOVIS: You gotta walk
this shit off, man.
You gotta get a juice box,
find a safe space.
Whatever the fuck you need
to do to not be woke,
you need to do it.
Come on, you know
what rhymes with woke, right?
- Coke?
- No, nigga!
Broke.
- Mmm.
- Broke rhymes with woke.
Keef, your fans who are
mostly what--white people
- Tis true.
We love your stuff.
- They showin' up tomorrow
to see Toast -N- Butter
Keef Knight,
not Malcolm X Keef Knight.
So as your friend,
I'm gonna give you
a little advice.
Maintain, motherfucker.
Maintain.
GUNTHER: Did you tell Trina
about this?
- Man, Trina not gonna
understand this shit, bro.
She'll blame us.
- You know, I can't help
but feel like this is
that moment in the Matrix.
Do I take the red pill
or the blue pill?
'Cause if I take
the red pill
- I haveboth in my room
if you wanna experiment.
[mellow hip-hop]
TRINA: Don't worry.
I should be outta there
by 3:00,
3:30 at the latest,
and I'll head right over.
You're gonna kill it, babe.
Oh, I cannot wait.
- [small laugh]
- What's up?
- Huh?
- Did something happen
at Bloom & Hill?
- No, Bloom & Hill was
you know, it was fine.
Okay, y-you ever wonder if
the trajectory of your life is
completely out of your control?
- No.
Like I always tell you,
you get what you deserve.
- That simple, huh?
- Yeah.
I mean, look at you.
You chose this crazy career.
You, you know, believed
in yourself,
and now it's finally
paying off.
- Yeah. okay.
- So stop worrying.
You got this.
- It's gettin' late.
Should probably get some sleep.
- Yeah, you do have
a big day tomorrow.
- Yeah.
You too.
[rock music]
- Got your energy right here.
Yes, absolutely.
- [softly] Maintain.
Maintain.
Maintain.
♪
[mic feedback screeches]
CINDY: Hello, thank you.
Thank you.
Welcome!
- Look at us, man!
We're gonna be world-famous.
- Jesus.
- This is amazing!
- We're gonna be
the next Garfield!
- Yeah, that's what I want.
- Stay the course, and we'll
have everything we need.
- Everything--
greeting cards, pillow covers.
- Keychains.
- CGI movie adaptations!
- You can drink milk
for every meal!
- What?!
Now you went too far.
- Don't listen to Wonder Boy
and Cow Fat.
We made them.
They did not make us.
Look at me.
Who was there in fourth grade
when you drew
a pair of titties on the back
cover of your math book, huh?
Me, that's who.
Listen when I tell you
these two are holdin' us back.
- Don't listen
to that angry marker.
He won't even take his cap off
during the National Anthem.
- Some of the greatest works
in history are about nothing!
- I'm done with
the safe Negro shuffle
for these two bozos.
It's time to get visible,
my brother, because right now
nobody even sees you.
[both grumbling]
Disappear.
You're gone, like magic.
- Well, that's untrue,
because his photo's
right there!
MARKER: That's not him.
That dude right there looks
like Wesley Snipes
in a Kabuki theater production
of Raisin in the Sun.
- [whispering]
That's what I been saying.
- We are extremely pleased
to announce
for the first time
the Keef strip local
favorite Toast -N- Butter
will be nationally syndicated
starting next week!
- Take a chill pill.
Relax.
Do not let this
get away from you.
- Once again,
give it up for Keef Knight!
[cheers and applause]
- You got this.
- You don't really want
to be known as the guy
who draws
boring breakfast food.
Hm.
You can't go out like that.
Because I won't let you!
The fog has been lifted.
I can see!
The lines have been drawn.
It's time to make your mark.
[crowd murmurs]
- Maintain, motherfucker.
Maintain.
- Uh, another round of applause
for Bloom & Hill's
very own Phil and Cindy,
yeah?
And these images--
somehow you managed
to make the toast
darker than me!
[scattered laughs]
And you, my friend,
tell us,
what was your inspiration
behind blackface?
Speak into the mic.
Tell the audience how you--
- I did this to stay true
to your character for--
you know, every time
he gets burnin' mad.
- Ah.
TOAST MAN: This is
San Francisco--
- Was waiting to hear that one.
- We don't see color here.
Huh?
And we don't care
if you're black, white,
blue, purple, or green.
- Time out.
I gotta stop you there.
You know where I draw the line?
At them goddamn green people!
[laughter]
Huh?
The greens--
nothin' but a bunch
of lazy-ass deadbeats
and welfare cheats!
They ain't got nothin'
on the blues.
Damn blues!
- Does he seem off to you?
KEEF: That--that's something.
Look at that.
- Ahwell
KEEF: Blues is driving
around all crazy
- Did he tell you
what happened?
KEEF: When you come here,
speak our language.
- No.
- Now, look, unless Avatar
is a documentary,
there's no such thing
as blue people.
Green people don't exist.
Reality matters.
It is a real thing.
And when you tell me
you don't see color,
you are choosing to ignore
a very important part
of who I am.
"I-I had no idea
you were black."
I got news for you--
that is not a compliment.
It sucks to hear that!
[classical music]
And why the hell
can a white man openly
sell energy powder
when it's very obvious
that it is cocaine
and no one raises an eyebrow,
but a black man can't hold
a stapler without bein'
taken down?
GUNTHER: [whispering]
It's not cocaine.
- What is happening?
What is going on?
What are we doing?
You know, I have been
in the sausage factory
for so long,
yet I never knew
how the sausage was made.
♪
I am the sausage.
♪
I am the sausage!
GUNTHER: Is he coming out?
- And just so
we're on the same page,
the sausage factory
is the systemic oppression
directed at people of color
here in America,
and we have got to tear
the entire system to shreds!
Just because my roommate
is African-American
and wears Jordans
does not make him
a pro athlete.
SIMONE: What?
KEEF: Stop saying slavery
was a long time ago.
You know what else
was a long time ago?
Jesus.
You don't get over that.
- [softly] Did he just say
"Get over Jesus"?
- No, no, no!
This is not what
we had planned!
- Lighten up, dude.
Remember your condo.
- Lighten up?
I know he didn't just say
lighten up.
No, let's darken it up
right now.
- You want me to lighten up?
BUTTER: Yeah.
- Get the fuck off me.
- I'm melting!
BUTTER: Take a chill pill.
Relax.
- Stop it!
- Jesus hates you!
KEEF: You want--
FAN: Is he dancing?
FAN 2:
We want Toast -N- Butter!
- How 'bout this?
You want Toast -N- Butter?
Fuck Toast.
[crowd booing]
And fuck Butter!
Yeah!
- Yep, he's lost it.
[crowd murmuring]
- [grunting]
Yeah!
This is really good card stock.
GUNTHER: But, yeah,
we shouldn't have let him out
of the house.
That was stupid.
Oh, look, there he is.
TRINA: Keef.
Hey.
Areyou okay?
- Yeah.
I'm better.
- You know what?
For once, I wasn't
expecting the worst.
But you impressed me, dawg.
You fucked this up
in a unique and unexpected way.
GUNTHER: Okay.
That seems a little negative.
Look at the bright side.
There's still a very, very
super small chance
you didn't destroy your career.
- No, I blew it.
I blew it.
So now I just have to
[inhales, exhales]
walk this off.
And it'll be
GUNTHER: Yeah.
CLOVIS: That's it.
GUNTHER: Cool, cool, all right.
- Keef.
Keef, wait.
You know you can
talk to me, right?
- I'll talk to you later.
[James Blake's
Don't Miss It plays]
♪
SINGER: The world
has shut me out ♪
♪
If I give everything,
I lose everything ♪
Don't miss it,
oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
Don't miss it ♪
Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
Like I did ♪
♪
[sighs]
- Get the fuck outta here!
You're that dude, right?
- Oh, yes.
Sorry, yeah, uh,
Toast -N- Butter, right.
Um
although, after tonight,
I'm not so sure.
- No, you're that dude
that got his ass stomped
by the cops the other day!
Yeah, I saw that shit go down.
- Ohyeah.
- Felt real bad about
that shit.
- Well, you know, man,
it kinda hits you
in ways you don't expect.
- Naw, man, it's 'cause
it's me they were looking for.
[laughs]
So what's in the bag, homie?
- [sighing] You're robbing me.
Okay.
Okay, I-I got nothin'.
So
- Oh, you got nothin'.
- I got nothin'.
- You broke as hell.
- Well
- This BART card still good?
- I just loaded it yesterday.
- Ha ha!
That's what's up!
Hey, you stay safe,
Toast -N- Butter man.
- Huh.
- Cops are everywhere.
Huh?
- Whoa--wait.
All right, now.
What are you doin' to me?
- Ha ha ha ha!
KEEF: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
[soft music]
♪
TOAST: We're gonna be
world-famous!
MARKER: We made them,
they did not make us!
MALT LIQUOR 2:
It's like a superpower.
TRASHCAN: Mr. Policeman
did a number on ya.
VOICE: I can't tell my story,
but you can, Keef.
TRASHCAN: You really think
Darnell moved away?
[overlapping voices]
MARKER: Make your mark!
So what are you gonna do now?
[Khari Mateen's
Where Did They Go]
SINGER: Young men
shipped out today ♪
Sittin' on another man's
land ♪
Piece by piece
takin' it away ♪
♪
Did a few things
that you just can't say ♪
♪
Eyes wide,
keep it on the prize ♪
Or you might get
blown away ♪
Where ♪
Where did they go ♪
Where ♪
Where did they go ♪
Where ♪
Where
did they go ♪
Where ♪
♪
Souls lost in the city ♪
Take this pill,
it'll make you feel all right ♪
♪
Calm you down,
make you sleep at night ♪
♪
Where ♪
Where
did they go ♪
Where ♪
you hostage ♪
I'm takin' control ♪
I got your heart
in the palm of my hand ♪
And I ain't lettin' it go ♪
I got your emotions♪
CLOVIS: What's all this shit?
Man, I'm tryin' to eat.
- Just please,
don't touch anything,
all right?
CLOVIS: [softly] All right.
You ready?
- Oh, yeah.
Take a final look.
It's the last time
you're gonna see
broke Keef Knight.
CLOVIS: That's my boy.
SINGER: And it feels
I'ma comin' for you ♪
KEEF: I see you, Mrs. Chang.
- I know.
SINGER: I'm gettin'
in your head ♪
I'm gettin' in your head ♪
I'm gettin' in your head ♪
KEEF: Looking good, Alice.
- Lookin' pretty good,
too, Keef!
Why don't you come over here
and sit on Mama's lap?
- Maybe on Thursday.
SINGER: I know
you wanted to ♪
You can't get away
from the feelin' ♪
CINDY:
Say "syndication" on three.
PHIL: One, two, three.
ALL: Syndication!
[laughter]
CINDY: Whoo!
PHIL: I love it!
CINDY: Toast -N- Butter,
coast-to-coast!
SINGER: That feeling ♪
I was in the show,
I'll never let ya go ♪
I'm gettin' in your head ♪
I'm gettin'
in your head ♪
I'm gettin' in your♪
KEEF: Hey.
TRINA: Hey.
SINGER:
Got it in your head ♪
- That's for you.
- Ah, thank you.
That's for me?
Oh, okay.
- [chuckles softly]
How'd the shoot go?
- Oh!
Nailed it.
I made love to the camera.
[both laugh]
KEEF: How was court?
- Nailed it.
Did not make love to anyone.
- Ah, that's unfortunate.
TRINA: Bam.
KEEF: Shut up.
- The Bernal Heights place.
- It's ours if we want it.
- Oh, my God, I feel like
I'm dreaming--am I dreaming?
- You're not.
[both chuckle]
You deserve this.
- I do deserve this.
- Have you told Gunther
and Clovis yet?
- Oh, that I plan on
movin' out?
I will later.
I mean, it's a delicate
situation.
I expect tears.
- A couple of Happy Meals
should soften the blow.
- Yeah, maybe some ice cream
and a little
TRINA: Yeah.
- Temple massage.
[upbeat music]
♪
[bus hisses]
- Hey, uh, I--
- I love Toast -N- Butter.
- Cool, man, me too.
- I do a little
Toast -N- Butter
doodling myself.
- That's awesome, man.
I make it.
- S-so you're Keef Knight?
- I am, yeah.
BUS RIDER: Huh.
You know, it's funny,
I didn't think you'd be
Tall.
- Happens all the time.
[electronic music]
♪
- Hey, hey, Nance!
NANCY: Hey, Keef.
- Uh, you mind if I put out
some flyers?
- Only if you get me passes
to Golden Con.
- Absolutely not.
No, I'm kidding.
- Oh ho ho!
- I will, I got you.
- Okay, you better.
- I would never forget
about you.
You know, I did my first
Toast -N- Butter cartoon
on the back room wall.
- Mm-hmm, it's still there.
- I know.
Someone drew a dick
in Toast's mouth.
- Uh, I was drunk. Yeah.
- Okay, I thought that was you.
- What up, Keef?
NANCY: Out!
- Nance, come on!
NANCY: No, outside.
Go, go, go--out!
- Ah, a'ight--uh, Keef--
- I got you.
- A'ight, a'ight.
Bye, Nancy!
NANCY: Bye! Bye!
- Still?
- Yep.
KEEF: Okay, makes sense.
NANCY: Okay.
- Keef Knight?
You do Toast -N- butter,
right?
- Uh, yeah.
- Oh, wow, that's so cool.
I fucking love how TNB
talks about race
and color in America.
Like when Toast gets too dark
and The Man scrapes it off
or puts butter on it.
Facts.
- Wow, that's the
first time I heard that one.
- I just love your work
and what you say with it.
I work for a new publication,
The Bay Arean,
and we're looking for
controversial artists
who are confronting
the shitstorm of race
and class and--
- Yeah, but I'm not
controversial.
- You'rea black cartoonist.
You're controversial
just by existing.
- Why is it that
as people of color
we're always having
to stand for something
oryou know, say something
in our work, you know?
I'm just a cartoonist.
- Because the world's
a racist, fucked-up place.
- And that's why I keep it
light, you know?
It's just a comic strip
about bored breakfast food.
- Keep it light.
- Yeah.
Keep it light.
Okay.
[hip-hop music]
SINGER: Wha, wha,
hey, hey, hey ♪
Hey, hey, hey,
diamonds, diamonds ♪
- Call me.
- I will definitely call you.
Hey, be ready for them
courtside seats.
Ahhhh
- So, Clovis,
who are you today?
- Baron Davis.
- The basketball player
- Yeah.
- Baron Davis is like 6'3"
and drives a car.
You don't have
any of those things.
- Your point?
He's black, I'm black.
She Filipino.
Anything above 5'5"
is tall to them.
If she can't tell
the difference, who am I
to rain on my parade?
Come on, now.
[chuckling]
- I'm so sorry.
Were you still talking?
I stopped listening
a long time ago.
- Ah ha ha!
How hype are you
for Golden Con?
- Oh, man.
- Hey, once your strip blows,
dude, you gonna be like
the next Aaron McGruder.
All right?
Newspapers, TV show.
Movie deals!
- [sighs]
- I can't wait.
I'ma get so much ass.
- I just want decent
medical insurance.
- Why you such a cornball,
man?
KEEF: [laughs]
- Oh, shit!
Hey, somebody's missin' this.
[laughs]
Oh, no.
I do not fuck with
white women's wallets, now.
- Hold on, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can't just leave it here.
- The fuck are you doin'?
- Well, we gotta turn it in.
- Oh, s-so you feel like
spendin', what,
the rest of the night
explaining why there's
no money in there?
And what if she's missin'?
What if she's dead and raped
in Golden Gate Park?
- Oh, my God, why do you
always assume the worst?
- Because when you assume
the worst,
you can't be surprised
when it actually happens?
- A wise man once said
- Oh.
- You should never judge
a wallet by the color of
its owner's skin.
- Okay.
KEEF: Sometimes, a lost
wallet is just that--
a lost wallet.
Now, excuse me while
I do the right thing.
- Okay, cool, man.
KEEF: Hey--
Why would you do that?
You got issues, man.
[energetic rock music]
♪
SINGER: It seems like
a fault in design ♪
[Toro y Moi's Mirage]
I seek you out
and you never ♪
Seem to have the time ♪
We're all too careful now ♪
[music continues, muffled]
Too close♪
- Ah-hem!
Hey. Ha.
Hey, what's up?
It's the house meeting.
Come on.
I told you guys about this
like three days ago.
Let's go, let's go.
- [groans]
- Just a short
little presentation.
Come on in.
GUNTHER: Get friendly. Go on.
KEEF: Okay.
- What if I told you
that you could save
the rainforest
with an energy drink?
An energy drink that uses
no water and no plastics,
thus and thereby reducing
our carbon footprint, right?
- Go on.
- Well, do I have
a product for you.
Boom!
Ha ha.
- Uhwhat is that?
- Oh, shit, this?
Uh, this is a revolutionary
product, actually.
This is, uh, this is 99.95%
non-GMO, all-natural
Peruvian coca extract
in powder form.
- So it's cocaine.
- It's not, it's, um,
it's a supplement
that allows you to stay up
all night
with sensei-like focus
and rock star confidence.
- Like cocaine?
GUNTHER: It's not cocaine.
It's, um
it's got guarana in it,
it's made from plants.
- So it's like really good
cocaine.
- Ha ha ha ha!
It's notha.
Not cocaine!
And I feel like you guys
are missing the point.
And, uh, the point is
Oh, here we go.
[loudly]
I'm gonna revolutionize
energy drinks!
And then, uh, probably some
fireworks are gonna go off,
and that's the end
of the presentation,
and you guys invest money.
Invest money.
Invest money.
- All right, you know,
honestly,
I think we probably
gonna talk about this,
go over it a little bit
and, uh,
we gonna get back to you.
- I will succeed.
You have no idea
how focused I am.
- Oh, we have some idea.
GUNTHER: Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah, we do.
[Bill Withers' Lovely Day
plays]
SINGER: When I wake up
in the morning, love ♪
♪
KEEF: Check it out.
SINGER: And the sunlight
hurts my eyes ♪
♪
And somethin'
without warning, love ♪
- Here you go.
SINGER:
Bears heavy on my mind ♪
♪
Then I look at you ♪
And the world's
all right with me ♪
♪
- Just one look-- ♪
COP: Don't even think about it!
- Don't move, don't move.
- Central, we have the suspect.
- Suspect--what?
COP: 6' tall black male.
COP: What's in the bag?
- It's just a stapler.
COP: He's got a weapon!
KEEF: No, no, no,
just a stapler!
No, no, no, you got
the wrong guy!
KEEF: Oof!
COP: Stop resisting!
Gimme your fuckin' hands!
KEEF: Aah!
GUNTHER: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Excuse me!
- Gunther,
[slow motion] noooooo!
COP: Nothing to see here.
We got it under control.
COP: Sir--hold on--
- Bitch-ass cops, what--
Hey--
- Aah!
- It's not fine!
You're acting not right.
Hey, don't you touch--
[voice echoing]
Hell, no!
What are you doing?
[heartbeat thumping]
[echoing]
Don't you touch me.
I'll have your badge, buddy.
Get off my friend.
COP: Copy that.
- Get outta my face!
COP: This isn't the suspect.
He's not the mugger.
GUNTHER: Oh, no shit!
[persistent ringing]
[echoing]
Ahh!
Aah!
GUNTHER: That was
messed up, bro.
I can't believe
they did us like that!
Are you cool?
You need some weed?
- No, I'm--dude, I'm good, man.
I'm good, I'm, uh
I'll--I'll catch you back
at the
flat.
Yeah.
[Lil' Smizz's Boss plays]
SINGER: Stop fucking
with my heart ♪
♪
Nigga, it was my dream,
fool ♪
♪
Oh, now you a man, ho ♪
♪
I don't need that stress ♪
I'm a boss
in a fuckin' dress ♪
Nigga, stay in line ♪
[all speaking foreign language]
Stop fuckin' with my heart ♪
- Water?
VOICE: Psst, hey, hey,
hey, yo, Poindexter!
Over here, man.
Fuck that water, bitch.
Come on over here
and get this booze.
VOICE 2: I can't believe
you called him a bitch.
VOICE: [laughs]
Don't fret, muh nigga.
You know you want this flavor. VOICE 2: That's right.
Come get this hottie.
- I go great with Menthols
and poverty-induced PTSDs.
I don't go well with gonorrhea.
Ya feel me?
MALT LIQUOR 2: Hmm, hmm.
Did you know malt liquor
- Whatthe
- Makes black people
impervious to bullets.
- For real?
[both laughing]
- No, it don't, nigga.
[laughing] It don't.
- Further, dawg, malt liquor
been a black man's best friend
since '48.
- Shh, shh, shh.
Cracker alert!
- Honky on deck.
KEEF: You okay?
I'm okay, ha.
Good day.
All right.
I'm not crazy.
NoI'm not crazy.
MALT LIQUOR 2: What?
You standing here in front
of God and everybody
talking to a bottle
of malt liquor.
Nah, that ain't crazy.
- Mr. Policeman did a number
on you, didn't he?
Ha. Good thing, too.
We been tryin' to holler
at your ass for a minute.
Now you can finally hear us.
It's just like havin'
a superpower.
- Yeah, if crazy
was a superpower.
KEEF: No. No, no.
[bottles laughing]
MALT LIQUOR:
Now, but seriously,
you extra as fuck now.
- Enjoy.
KEEF: Wait.
Are you real, or
- Lemme--lemme put it
like this.
Your third eye is definitely
open for business!
- Oh, no, no, no, no
MALT LIQUOR 2:
Buckle up, nigga.
This ride ain't for the weak.
Where you goin'?
Let's bail, baby.
- You can't run
from this, Poindexter!
MALT LIQUOR 2: We are you!
- Drink us, nigga!
[door closes]
[whispers]
Hello?
PHIL: [funny voices]
Toast-N-Butter.
Bloom & Hill.
It's a magical partnership.
We got news for you, Keef!
- We--we
we are just so jazzed
for your Golden Con panel
on Saturday.
- Gonna live stream it.
We really think
it'll widen your audience.
- And at the panel,
we'll announce
Toast -N- Butter starts
syndication next week.
- Yeah, it's gonna open
in 35 markets in the U.S.!
- And we just found out
that the top-selling bread
in the U.S.
wants to license your artwork.
- How excited are you, huh?
How excited are we?
- Are you okay?
- Does this photo look right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Did you guys
lighten my photo?
II look like Sammy Sosa.
- Uhthat's just
a mock-up for publicity.
So
- Am I too black
for my own comic strip?
- [laughing] No, trust me.
No one's gonna ever
accuse you of being
too black, okay?
- I'm sorry, what?
- What?
- Hmm?
- Hmm?
- What'd you say?
- What he means to say
is it's what we like
about you.
Your crossover index
is in the 95th percentile.
Here at B&H,
we champion the data.
We don't see color.
PHIL: Racial stuff, huh?
Am I right?
- Sammy!
Uhha.
I am so sorry, but I--
I-I really have to go.
Uh
- Is he mad?
[intense rock music]
♪
- Stupid.
[muttering]
Man.
Yeah, all right.
SINGER:
What's that sound,
coming down? ♪
Breaking ground all around,
hear it pound ♪
Something wicked
this way comes, comes ♪
Vocals, guitar ♪
Darnell
SINGER: Playin' with
the money like ♪
Wha wha wha wha ♪
Wha wha ♪
I'll be playin'
with the money like wha ♪
Still got a lot more ta go ♪
Made it back 'fore
I walk through the door ♪
- Welcome to Darnell's.
SINGER: Like wah, wah ♪
- So
whereis
Darnell?
BARBER: The old black dude?
He retired.
Went back down South.
But we kept the name
and the soul of the place.
Still got all the Ebony
and Jet magazines.
Plus, complimentary Hennessy.
SINGER: Yeah, uh-huh,
we tryin' to eat ♪
Makin' money,
take it back to the streets ♪
- I know.
[shears buzzing]
You want a number 42.
- Okay.
[jazzy music]
None of this makes sense.
VOICE: Keefy K,
where you goin'?
I know you hear me.
Down here, my brother.
That's right.
I'm a talkin' trashcan.
I got eyes, I got a nose.
I can smell things.
I stink sometimes.
I'm a trashcan.
And that ain't even
close to normal,
but you ain't even close
to normal, not anymore.
- Oh, this is, this is
come on Keef, Keef, Keef.
This is all wrong.
TRASHCAN: I tell you
what's wrong.
Those man-bun co-optin'
gentrifyin' devils!
That ain't no barber shop
in there.
That's a negro-land section
of some bullshit
hipster magical kingdom
where everybody's so fascinated
with whiskey.
What's left for
a burdened black man
if we can't go to
the barber shop?
Therapy?
You know we don't
trust doctors.
Spin class?
We don't ride bicycles
that don't go nowhere.
You really think Darnell
moved away.
Or was he forced out?
Darnell ain't from the South.
He from Cleveland.
- [softly] Nono
- Keef, I'm a trashcan.
I don't have arms.
I can't fight 'em.
But you can.
- Nonono
- Fuck 'em.
- Fuck 'em.
- Yeah, fuck 'em.
KEEF: Fuck 'em!
TRASHCAN: Fuck 'em!
- Fuck 'em!
- Fuck 'em!
- Fuck 'em!
- You know what to do.
- Oh, I know what to do.
Ha ha.
Oh, I know exactly
what to do.
What do I do?
- You know what to do.
- The right thing.
[funky music]
♪
Aah!
TRASHCAN: Fuck 'em!
[soft percussive music]
♪
You gonna talk to me now too?
No?
Anybody else?
Anybody wanna get
anything off they chest?
What about you, huh?
Nothin'?
I'm crazy.
Oh, boy.
COOK: And this celery
is gonna add not just texture
but just a little--
- Well, you can't get
no sicker than that.
[laughter]
CLOVIS: This ain't
really my crib.
What's up, my boy?
Hey, umwe, uh, just
passin' through.
I'ma do a quick little change.
Keef, this is Simone.
Simone, this is Keef.
SIMONE: Where's the bathroom?
First door on the right.
Yeah, there you go.
All right with your fine self.
Ah, ah.
- So
CLOVIS: Mm-hmm.
- Who are you today?
- I play, uh, soccer, okay?
For a team in Brazil.
But call that shit fútbol.
- You're a professional
soccer star
CLOVIS: Yeah.
- Who lives here
with roommates.
- It's fútbol.
KEEF: Mm.
- You droppin' the ball
right now.
And I-I don't live here.
Look at this.
I got a crib.
I got a mansion in Rio.
- Real quick, uh, what language
do they speak in Brazil?
- Brazilianese.
I don't know--shit.
- Okay.
Yeah, you got it.
- Don't hold me down.
- Extraordinary!
Tell me about this.
- Oh, I love
Antique Appraisals!
KEEF: Mmm.
Isn't it great?
ANNE: Well, it was given
to me by my great-
great uncle,
Colonel John Beasly.
He got it as a gift
from the Sioux tribe.
- Oh, for fuck's sakes,
how many times
do I have to tell you?
It's Yokut, not Sioux!
Yokut.
- Mm.
- Beasly and his regiment
slaughtered the tribe
that made me,
took all their possessions,
and raped the horses.
- Raped the horses?
SPOON: You heard me.
Raped the horses.
- What?
- Huh? What?
- That white man was a freak!
He even stuck me up his ass
while he was doin' it!
Horse rapist!
Motherfuck him and John Wayne.
- Huhhe raped the horses.
This guy, but not--
the person who gave
the spoon, he would--
This is your favorite show.
It's not mine, I mean, it's--
- Simone, you ready, cutie?
She still in the bathroom?
- Y--uh
So he was rapin' horses,
and I told her he was
rapin' horses--
- Have you lost your mind?
We--we said fútbol.
- I am sitting here trying
to watch
this white celebration
of cultural plunder.
Let me ask you a question,
Clovis.
Have you ever seen black people
on Antique Appraisals?
- No! Because black people
like new shit.
GUNTHER: Whoo!
Ho ho ho!
Man.
Yep, guess who just got
seed money for
his new energy powder?
Oh, God, what?
Is this an intervention?
Because I can quit anytime.
CLOVIS: Gunther,
not right now, bro.
Go back in your room.
I'm talkin' to Keef.
I'm trying to figure out
where my girl went.
- No way, I'm too jacked up.
Let's pop bottles,
make cupcakes--
- Why don't we just shut up
for second!
All I wanna do is watch TV.
- [sighs]
What's really goin' on,
bro?
- What, is this about the
cop thing?
- What cop thing?
KEEF: Okay.
Soso earlier,
I got my ass beat by the police
because apparently
I fit the description.
- 6' black male.
- Bro, we are all
6' black men to them.
All of us!
- Sure, I mean, you're
shorter than that,
butget what you're saying.
- I--it was--
I didn't do anything!
I was just walking and then
and then Gunther showed up
and he took on the entire
SFPD by himself.
- Ha ha, yes, I did.
I was pissed, dude.
You shoulda saw me.
I was all up in this cop's face
and I, like,
grabbed his wrist.
CLOVIS: Really?
- Probably bruised it.
- They shoulda shot you.
- No, no, they'd never do that.
CLOVIS: Damn, bro.
- Well, they would have,
you know,
if he wereif he was--
if he was black.
- Houston, we have a problem.
This nigga woke.
- Which isgreat news.
That's a great thing, right?
- You worked hard not to be
that brother, didn't you?
And you felt special.
Then the police showed up
and what?
They showed you how they
feel about special niggas?
Now we gotta hear about it
because all the shit
is new to you?
Come on, man!
- No, no, see,
I'm not stupid, okay?
I know this type of stuff
happens all the time,
and I know this is gonna
sound fucked up, but
I just didn't think
it would happen to me.
- Well, who did you think
it was gonna happen to, Keef?
Huh? Who?
- You.
And then ever since then,
my mind has been--ah!
Man, you don't wanna know
what's goin' on in my brain
right now.
CLOVIS: You gotta walk
this shit off, man.
You gotta get a juice box,
find a safe space.
Whatever the fuck you need
to do to not be woke,
you need to do it.
Come on, you know
what rhymes with woke, right?
- Coke?
- No, nigga!
Broke.
- Mmm.
- Broke rhymes with woke.
Keef, your fans who are
mostly what--white people
- Tis true.
We love your stuff.
- They showin' up tomorrow
to see Toast -N- Butter
Keef Knight,
not Malcolm X Keef Knight.
So as your friend,
I'm gonna give you
a little advice.
Maintain, motherfucker.
Maintain.
GUNTHER: Did you tell Trina
about this?
- Man, Trina not gonna
understand this shit, bro.
She'll blame us.
- You know, I can't help
but feel like this is
that moment in the Matrix.
Do I take the red pill
or the blue pill?
'Cause if I take
the red pill
- I haveboth in my room
if you wanna experiment.
[mellow hip-hop]
TRINA: Don't worry.
I should be outta there
by 3:00,
3:30 at the latest,
and I'll head right over.
You're gonna kill it, babe.
Oh, I cannot wait.
- [small laugh]
- What's up?
- Huh?
- Did something happen
at Bloom & Hill?
- No, Bloom & Hill was
you know, it was fine.
Okay, y-you ever wonder if
the trajectory of your life is
completely out of your control?
- No.
Like I always tell you,
you get what you deserve.
- That simple, huh?
- Yeah.
I mean, look at you.
You chose this crazy career.
You, you know, believed
in yourself,
and now it's finally
paying off.
- Yeah. okay.
- So stop worrying.
You got this.
- It's gettin' late.
Should probably get some sleep.
- Yeah, you do have
a big day tomorrow.
- Yeah.
You too.
[rock music]
- Got your energy right here.
Yes, absolutely.
- [softly] Maintain.
Maintain.
Maintain.
♪
[mic feedback screeches]
CINDY: Hello, thank you.
Thank you.
Welcome!
- Look at us, man!
We're gonna be world-famous.
- Jesus.
- This is amazing!
- We're gonna be
the next Garfield!
- Yeah, that's what I want.
- Stay the course, and we'll
have everything we need.
- Everything--
greeting cards, pillow covers.
- Keychains.
- CGI movie adaptations!
- You can drink milk
for every meal!
- What?!
Now you went too far.
- Don't listen to Wonder Boy
and Cow Fat.
We made them.
They did not make us.
Look at me.
Who was there in fourth grade
when you drew
a pair of titties on the back
cover of your math book, huh?
Me, that's who.
Listen when I tell you
these two are holdin' us back.
- Don't listen
to that angry marker.
He won't even take his cap off
during the National Anthem.
- Some of the greatest works
in history are about nothing!
- I'm done with
the safe Negro shuffle
for these two bozos.
It's time to get visible,
my brother, because right now
nobody even sees you.
[both grumbling]
Disappear.
You're gone, like magic.
- Well, that's untrue,
because his photo's
right there!
MARKER: That's not him.
That dude right there looks
like Wesley Snipes
in a Kabuki theater production
of Raisin in the Sun.
- [whispering]
That's what I been saying.
- We are extremely pleased
to announce
for the first time
the Keef strip local
favorite Toast -N- Butter
will be nationally syndicated
starting next week!
- Take a chill pill.
Relax.
Do not let this
get away from you.
- Once again,
give it up for Keef Knight!
[cheers and applause]
- You got this.
- You don't really want
to be known as the guy
who draws
boring breakfast food.
Hm.
You can't go out like that.
Because I won't let you!
The fog has been lifted.
I can see!
The lines have been drawn.
It's time to make your mark.
[crowd murmurs]
- Maintain, motherfucker.
Maintain.
- Uh, another round of applause
for Bloom & Hill's
very own Phil and Cindy,
yeah?
And these images--
somehow you managed
to make the toast
darker than me!
[scattered laughs]
And you, my friend,
tell us,
what was your inspiration
behind blackface?
Speak into the mic.
Tell the audience how you--
- I did this to stay true
to your character for--
you know, every time
he gets burnin' mad.
- Ah.
TOAST MAN: This is
San Francisco--
- Was waiting to hear that one.
- We don't see color here.
Huh?
And we don't care
if you're black, white,
blue, purple, or green.
- Time out.
I gotta stop you there.
You know where I draw the line?
At them goddamn green people!
[laughter]
Huh?
The greens--
nothin' but a bunch
of lazy-ass deadbeats
and welfare cheats!
They ain't got nothin'
on the blues.
Damn blues!
- Does he seem off to you?
KEEF: That--that's something.
Look at that.
- Ahwell
KEEF: Blues is driving
around all crazy
- Did he tell you
what happened?
KEEF: When you come here,
speak our language.
- No.
- Now, look, unless Avatar
is a documentary,
there's no such thing
as blue people.
Green people don't exist.
Reality matters.
It is a real thing.
And when you tell me
you don't see color,
you are choosing to ignore
a very important part
of who I am.
"I-I had no idea
you were black."
I got news for you--
that is not a compliment.
It sucks to hear that!
[classical music]
And why the hell
can a white man openly
sell energy powder
when it's very obvious
that it is cocaine
and no one raises an eyebrow,
but a black man can't hold
a stapler without bein'
taken down?
GUNTHER: [whispering]
It's not cocaine.
- What is happening?
What is going on?
What are we doing?
You know, I have been
in the sausage factory
for so long,
yet I never knew
how the sausage was made.
♪
I am the sausage.
♪
I am the sausage!
GUNTHER: Is he coming out?
- And just so
we're on the same page,
the sausage factory
is the systemic oppression
directed at people of color
here in America,
and we have got to tear
the entire system to shreds!
Just because my roommate
is African-American
and wears Jordans
does not make him
a pro athlete.
SIMONE: What?
KEEF: Stop saying slavery
was a long time ago.
You know what else
was a long time ago?
Jesus.
You don't get over that.
- [softly] Did he just say
"Get over Jesus"?
- No, no, no!
This is not what
we had planned!
- Lighten up, dude.
Remember your condo.
- Lighten up?
I know he didn't just say
lighten up.
No, let's darken it up
right now.
- You want me to lighten up?
BUTTER: Yeah.
- Get the fuck off me.
- I'm melting!
BUTTER: Take a chill pill.
Relax.
- Stop it!
- Jesus hates you!
KEEF: You want--
FAN: Is he dancing?
FAN 2:
We want Toast -N- Butter!
- How 'bout this?
You want Toast -N- Butter?
Fuck Toast.
[crowd booing]
And fuck Butter!
Yeah!
- Yep, he's lost it.
[crowd murmuring]
- [grunting]
Yeah!
This is really good card stock.
GUNTHER: But, yeah,
we shouldn't have let him out
of the house.
That was stupid.
Oh, look, there he is.
TRINA: Keef.
Hey.
Areyou okay?
- Yeah.
I'm better.
- You know what?
For once, I wasn't
expecting the worst.
But you impressed me, dawg.
You fucked this up
in a unique and unexpected way.
GUNTHER: Okay.
That seems a little negative.
Look at the bright side.
There's still a very, very
super small chance
you didn't destroy your career.
- No, I blew it.
I blew it.
So now I just have to
[inhales, exhales]
walk this off.
And it'll be
GUNTHER: Yeah.
CLOVIS: That's it.
GUNTHER: Cool, cool, all right.
- Keef.
Keef, wait.
You know you can
talk to me, right?
- I'll talk to you later.
[James Blake's
Don't Miss It plays]
♪
SINGER: The world
has shut me out ♪
♪
If I give everything,
I lose everything ♪
Don't miss it,
oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
Don't miss it ♪
Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
Like I did ♪
♪
[sighs]
- Get the fuck outta here!
You're that dude, right?
- Oh, yes.
Sorry, yeah, uh,
Toast -N- Butter, right.
Um
although, after tonight,
I'm not so sure.
- No, you're that dude
that got his ass stomped
by the cops the other day!
Yeah, I saw that shit go down.
- Ohyeah.
- Felt real bad about
that shit.
- Well, you know, man,
it kinda hits you
in ways you don't expect.
- Naw, man, it's 'cause
it's me they were looking for.
[laughs]
So what's in the bag, homie?
- [sighing] You're robbing me.
Okay.
Okay, I-I got nothin'.
So
- Oh, you got nothin'.
- I got nothin'.
- You broke as hell.
- Well
- This BART card still good?
- I just loaded it yesterday.
- Ha ha!
That's what's up!
Hey, you stay safe,
Toast -N- Butter man.
- Huh.
- Cops are everywhere.
Huh?
- Whoa--wait.
All right, now.
What are you doin' to me?
- Ha ha ha ha!
KEEF: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
[soft music]
♪
TOAST: We're gonna be
world-famous!
MARKER: We made them,
they did not make us!
MALT LIQUOR 2:
It's like a superpower.
TRASHCAN: Mr. Policeman
did a number on ya.
VOICE: I can't tell my story,
but you can, Keef.
TRASHCAN: You really think
Darnell moved away?
[overlapping voices]
MARKER: Make your mark!
So what are you gonna do now?
[Khari Mateen's
Where Did They Go]
SINGER: Young men
shipped out today ♪
Sittin' on another man's
land ♪
Piece by piece
takin' it away ♪
♪
Did a few things
that you just can't say ♪
♪
Eyes wide,
keep it on the prize ♪
Or you might get
blown away ♪
Where ♪
Where did they go ♪
Where ♪
Where did they go ♪
Where ♪
Where
did they go ♪
Where ♪
♪
Souls lost in the city ♪
Take this pill,
it'll make you feel all right ♪
♪
Calm you down,
make you sleep at night ♪
♪
Where ♪
Where
did they go ♪
Where ♪