Work It (2012) s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
Hey.
Hey.
Honey, how did it go? Well, the company actually folded while I was in the interview.
Oh.
But You stole all their sugar.
Yeah.
That's not all.
Mm-hmm.
And look, salt and pepper Ooh, hoo.
We got creamer, and wait for it.
Mm-hmm.
Wait for it.
Uh-huh.
Ketchup.
Ooh, hoo! Well, it'll all come in handy 'cause you got your last unemployment check today.
Oh, yeah.
I can't believe it's already been a year.
I can't either.
But don't worry about it.
As you can see, our lifestyle doesn't have to suffer.
Oh, hey, your insurance from Pontiac is about to run out, so I made an appointment for you to get a physical tomorrow.
No, sweetheart, I told you Oh, no, hey.
Lee, as a woman, I'm gonna have to ask you to stop comparing a prostate exam to the pinball scene in "The Accused.
" No, it's not okay.
Hey, dad.
Hey.
My phone's not working.
Oh.
Huh.
Well, let me take a look.
Oh, yeah.
Just as I suspected.
I cancelled your service.
What? I'm sorry, Kat.
Would a packet of soy sauce make you feel better? Look, it's just until I find a job.
Okay? But what am I gonna do in the meantime? Sweetie, we have a landline.
A landline? Don't those give you brain cancer? You know what? I'm just gonna have to find myself a rich, older boyfriend.
You and me both.
You and me both.
Check it out.
We're in the paper.
Mm.
Ah, they couldn't have done it without us.
Hey, don't worry about it.
I'm gonna figure something out, all right.
You know the deal.
If I'm working, you're working.
Right back at ya, bro.
Mm-hmm.
What's up, guys? Hey, Brian.
Hey, B.
Did you get your last check? Yep.
Hard to believe.
A year ago, we were sittin' pretty.
St.
Louis Pontiac's top salesman, head mechanic, and nearly accident-free courtesy shuttle driver.
Now look at us.
How did this happen? Well, it's a recession.
It's not a recession.
It's a mancession.
Look, women are taking over the workforce.
Soon, they'll start getting rid of men.
They'll just keep a few of us around as sex slaves.
That part doesn't sound so bad.
Not the kind of sex you like, Angel.
Just kissing and cuddling and Listening.
Well, I'll tell you what.
I'm not going down without a fight.
I did hear they're hiring down at, uh, Astro Taco.
No! That place is a dump.
I mean, we still have our pride.
For now.
When the women take over, they'll make pride illegal.
That and eating on the toilet.
Ah, thanks, doc.
That prostate exam wasn't as bad as I expected.
Beers really took the edge off.
I love your bracelet.
It was a little present to myself.
I could wait around for a guy to buy it for me, but none of them have any money.
Oh.
So the drug business is good, uh? Bazonkers.
I have got more work than I can handle.
In fact, if you know anyone, we are looking to hire.
Uh, really? 'Cause I'm a salesman and I-I happen to be between jobs.
Oh, we're kind of just looking for girls.
Really? Why? Well, we've had some guys, but the doctors seem to want to nail them less.
Okay, see ya next time.
Um, Mr.
Standish? Yeah? How would you like to pay for your physical? What do you mean? I showed you my insurance card on the way in.
But your coverage lapsed last week.
What?! The total is $900.
Oh, my God.
How the hell am I gonna get $900? Oh, I'm sorry, Connie.
Lee Standish? Yes? We're ready for you.
Oh, well, wish me luck.
Thanks for the tampon.
hmm Hi.
I'm Vanessa Warner.
I run the midwest drug sales division here at Coreco.
Oh.
Lee Standish.
Um So I got a chance to look at your resume.
And I have to say, I'm intrigued.
Mm.
You sold Pontiacs? Oh, yes, yes.
Believe it or not, that it my actual resume.
What was it like working there? There couldn't have been many women.
No, I was the only one.
Mm.
That must've been hard.
Oh, it was! The guys were always sassing me or patting my Fanny or Ogling my my teats.
Well, you are a very Beautiful woman.
Oh.
And you played Football in college? Oh! Is that still on there? Yes.
I-I played lingerie football.
But anyway, what I really wanna talk about are some of the amazing pharmaceuticals that Coreco makes.
For instance, your new arthritis drug Polluxor? The results it's been getting in nonpartisan clinical trials are just stunning.
And the fact that it has all the advantages of low dose corticosteroids without any of the side effects of the Cox-2 selective nsaids? I mean, get out of town! You're impressive.
Mm.
Most of the girls who interview here think clinical trials are the things Lindsay Lohan keeps having to go to.
I'm not your ordinary girl.
No, you're not.
Honey.
Hi.
I got a job! Are are are you serious? Doing what? Uh, working as a salesman at drug company.
You know, talking in my regular voice, my genitals just hanging free.
Oh, honey! Yay! Oh! I don't wanna say that I'd given up hope, but, yeah, I kinda had.
Yeah, well, me, too.
Yeah.
My brave face was getting so tired.
But we did it.
We did it.
We made it through.
Mwah! Come on, I'm taking you out.
Let's celebrate.
Okay.
Let me just go get changed.
No, what you have on is fine.
We're just going to the bar.
The bar? Yeah, yeah.
I called Angel and Brian.
We're gonna m ah, Angel and Brian.
You know what? I suddenly do not feel like going out.
Okay.
I'll just wake you up for sex later.
Yeah? Okay, wait.
You seem mad.
What What is it? Why don't you give it some thought? And just see what you come up with.
Okay? Oh, sorry, ladies! A man got a job.
Guess you'll have to wait a little while longer for your sex slaves.
So when can we come by the office so you can take us out to lunch? Mm.
Mm.
Um Well, you know, I, um I don't get a lunch break.
Well, then how about getting us some job interviews? Uh come on, Brian.
The man just got hired.
Now he's supposed to put his ass on the line for you? I'm sorry.
It's just getting a little awkward living with my ex-wife.
The new husband? Not a big fan.
Thanks for getting him off my back.
No problem.
But we still have our deal, right? If you're working, I'm working.
Well, um I'm not sure you'd be up for everything This job requires.
But I'm Puerto Rican.
I'd be great at selling drugs.
Ah.
That's not what I mean.
Then what do you mean? Just that, um I don't think you'd totally fit in.
Oh, I get it.
It's because I'm a mechanic, right? No.
I'm not good enough to work in your fancy office? No, that's not what I meant, Angel.
I no, no.
It's good.
I'm glad to know what you really think of me.
Come on, man.
Enjoy your stupid celebration.
Ahem.
Uh, pardon me.
Mm-hmm? Oh! Hi, I'm I'm Lee.
I just finished my orientation.
I wasn't sure where my desk is.
Welcome! I'm Kelly.
Oh, hi.
This is your desk right here.
And wait.
Have we met before? Oh, I don't think so.
I've never been to that doctor's office.
You must be the giant car saleswoman.
Vanessa told me about you.
Yes, hi.
I'm I'm Lee Standish.
Yes, I know.
I'm Grace Hudson.
I've been the regional sales leader for the last couple of years.
But from what Vanessa tells me, it looks like I might have some competition.
Oh, I don't know about that.
Yeah, I don't know about that either.
Cute bag.
Oh, thank you! Come on, grace.
Don't be such a bitch.
What? I-I said I liked it.
We know what you meant.
We do? Oh! You must be the new girl! I'm Kristin.
I used to be the new girl, but not anymore! Please tell me you're not already in a book club.
So what's your story? Are you married? Wait, wait.
I'm really good at this.
Um, so no wedding ring, but I do see a tan line on your ring finger.
Mm.
So Divorced.
Did he leave you for someone smaller? Wow, you guys just dive right in, don't you? You're right.
We're so rude to pry.
Was it messy? Any traumatized kids at home? Well, I suppose there's no harm in telling you I-I do have a 14-year-old daughter.
Oh, my God! I'm a single mom, too.
Ethan is 8.
He's always the only one at "bring your kid to work" day, but now your daughter will be there, too! Oh, she can't.
She's, um She's in a bubble.
Oh, that's me.
Ooh, I should take this.
It's my, uh, my Waxer.
Hello? Hey, Lee, I don't like the way we left things.
We need to have a conversation.
Sweetheart, now's not a good time, okay? Me and the guys at work Hey, sweetie, we're gonna get some lunch.
Wanna join us? Who's that woman? I'll be right there.
And who's that woman? It's no one.
I've gotta go.
Oh, come on Lee.
Have a seat.
Okay.
Let me get my I am just so Hungry.
Oh.
Mm.
All right.
So There we go.
Bon appetit.
Mmm! Uh, excuse me? Welcome to Astro Taco.
Arriba, arriba.
Can I help you? Uh, yes.
Um, uh, one One steak burrito, please.
One steak.
$5.
75.
Okay.
Ole, ole.
Have a nice day.
Oh, you, too.
Ah, screw it.
Uh, pardon me? I have a bone to pick with you.
You gave me change for a $10, and I gave you a $300.
Lady, you're crazy.
Get out of here.
Okay.
But just one more thing I have to say.
It's me.
Lee.
Lee? Yeah.
This is what I had to do to get a job.
Okay, my eyes are up here.
That's how I got the job, and I wanna help you get one, too.
How did you even do this? You really wanna know? What you gonna do with all that junk? all that junk inside your trunk? I'm-a get, get, get, get you drunk get you love drunk off my hump my hump, my hump my hump, my hump, my hump my hump, my hump, my hump my lovely little lumps check it out my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump my hump, my hump, my hump my hump, my hump, my hump my lovely lady lumps my lovely lady lumps my lovely lady lumps In the back and in the front my lovin' got you she got me spendin' spendin' all your money on me and spendin' time on me Excuse me.
Oh, my God! Help me.
Spendin' all your money on me Please.
So what do you say? I don't know, man.
You have to understand, this kind of thing doesn't really fly in my culture.
Oh! Oh, 'cause, you know, my culture just freakin' loves it.
Look, man, you're my best friend, you know? I cannot stand seeing you like this.
I'd be proud to work with you again, the fancy office and everything.
Hey, Angel, bathroom needs cleaning.
I just cleaned it ten minutes ago.
Welcome to Astro Taco.
I don't think you're ready for this jelly For this jelly I don't think you're ready I don't think you're ready for this Hey, Shakira, tone down the booty shake a little, will ya? This is what my body does, bro.
I don't think you're ready for this and my body's too bootylicious Hi.
I'm here for my interview.
Hi.
I'm Vanessa.
Likewise.
I mean, Angel Ortiz.
It's nice to meet you.
I love your scarf.
Oh, thank you.
And your ass looks tight in those pants.
Hey! How you doing? Oh, pretty good.
Little itchy.
I hope grace isn't being too rough on you.
She gave me a hard time when I first started working here, too, and now we're such good friends.
We even have nicknames for each other.
Like, I call her "hottie" or princess," and she calls me "sausage fingers.
" Anyway, I got you something.
Oh! Wow! Thank you.
Thank you so much! But can I ask you something? What what's so bad about my pocketbook? Besides the fact that you call it a pocketbook? Look, uh, don't take this the wrong way, but it seems like you haven't been shopping in this century.
Oh.
Really? Look, I-I know what it's like having to work and take care of a kid all by yourself.
Not that it was any easier when I was married.
My husband was no help.
He was always just hanging out at the bar with his friends.
Was yours like that? Well, maybe a little.
But, you know, he would invite me along to the bar.
Oh, ooh! What a prince! Anyway, the bag is just a reminder that you're a woman.
And you have needs.
You can't neglect yourself.
Well, maybe you're right.
Maybe I have been neglecting myself well, stop it! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh.
And inside the bag is the next selection for book club.
It's about a girl who comes of age during a spelling bee in Rwanda.
Oh.
Spoiler alert she dies.
Lee! Lee! Oh.
Um, pardon me for just one moment.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
How'd it go? I blew it.
Why didn't you tell me she was so hot? My ace bandage was holding on for dear life.
You you want me to talk to her? I'll talk No, no, no.
She already left for a meeting.
And I don't want you risking your job for me.
I'm sure Astro Taco will take me back.
Oh, man.
Jessica, will you call Dr.
Lerner and tell him I'm gonna be late? My car won't start.
I know a little bit about cars.
To Angel! To Angel.
To me! So you fixed Vanessa's car? Mm-hmm, and once I got it running, she was like, "anyone who would get under a car in a skirt is worth taking a chance on.
" How did you know how to do that? Oh, it was easy.
I just had to tune the solenoid so the drive gear meshed with the flywheel.
Anywho What is Vanessa like as a boss? Is she just all about the job or does she have a husband? No, no husband.
Really? Yeah, and personally, I think she might be a lesbian.
Nice.
Oh, that's me.
Oh, well, I really should be getting home.
You know, single mom and all.
What? Shh.
Hello? Have I gotten drunk and slept with a random guy yet? No one is going home until we dance.
Apple bottom jeans, jeans boots with the fur, with the fur the whole club was looking at her she hit the floor, she hit the floor next thing you know shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low them baggy sweatpants and the reeboks with the straps, with the straps she turned around and gave that big booty a smack she hit the floor, she hit the floor next thing you know shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low Go, Lee! Go, Lee! Go, Lee! Go, Lee! Go, Lee! I'm going! I'm going! I can't believe your father is ignoring my calls.
He better not even think about waking me up tonight for sex ophone lessons.
See, mom? I'm sure that's dad now.
That's not my phone.
Hello? Hey, Kat, it's me, a high school dude.
I was wondering if you wanna, like, interact on a social networking site.
And who is this? You are welcome.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you! Mwah.
I don't care how much mom hates you.
I think you're awesome.
Okay, before you say anything, I got you something as well.
This is gorgeous.
How the hell did you pick it out? Look, I-I think that I lost sight of the fact that I'm not the only one this past year's been tough on.
Okay? And I am sorry if I've been neglecting you.
Look at that.
You figured it out.
I did.
Tonight, I'm taking you out.
Mm? Not to the bar.
Yeah, and Angel and Brian? Will be at least two tables away.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I almost forgot.
Look inside the bag.
There's more.
Ooh! "A rainbow over Rwanda"? Spoiler alert she dies.
Just go strike up a conversation with her.
Okay.
I can do this.
Yeah.
Hi.
I'm Angel.
Sarah.
I was hoping you'd come over.
Really? Well, in the case, can I just cut to the chase? Absolutely.
You have no visible panty lines.
How do you make that happen? I'm not wearing any underwear.
Yeah, that's not gonna work for me.
Hey.
Honey, how did it go? Well, the company actually folded while I was in the interview.
Oh.
But You stole all their sugar.
Yeah.
That's not all.
Mm-hmm.
And look, salt and pepper Ooh, hoo.
We got creamer, and wait for it.
Mm-hmm.
Wait for it.
Uh-huh.
Ketchup.
Ooh, hoo! Well, it'll all come in handy 'cause you got your last unemployment check today.
Oh, yeah.
I can't believe it's already been a year.
I can't either.
But don't worry about it.
As you can see, our lifestyle doesn't have to suffer.
Oh, hey, your insurance from Pontiac is about to run out, so I made an appointment for you to get a physical tomorrow.
No, sweetheart, I told you Oh, no, hey.
Lee, as a woman, I'm gonna have to ask you to stop comparing a prostate exam to the pinball scene in "The Accused.
" No, it's not okay.
Hey, dad.
Hey.
My phone's not working.
Oh.
Huh.
Well, let me take a look.
Oh, yeah.
Just as I suspected.
I cancelled your service.
What? I'm sorry, Kat.
Would a packet of soy sauce make you feel better? Look, it's just until I find a job.
Okay? But what am I gonna do in the meantime? Sweetie, we have a landline.
A landline? Don't those give you brain cancer? You know what? I'm just gonna have to find myself a rich, older boyfriend.
You and me both.
You and me both.
Check it out.
We're in the paper.
Mm.
Ah, they couldn't have done it without us.
Hey, don't worry about it.
I'm gonna figure something out, all right.
You know the deal.
If I'm working, you're working.
Right back at ya, bro.
Mm-hmm.
What's up, guys? Hey, Brian.
Hey, B.
Did you get your last check? Yep.
Hard to believe.
A year ago, we were sittin' pretty.
St.
Louis Pontiac's top salesman, head mechanic, and nearly accident-free courtesy shuttle driver.
Now look at us.
How did this happen? Well, it's a recession.
It's not a recession.
It's a mancession.
Look, women are taking over the workforce.
Soon, they'll start getting rid of men.
They'll just keep a few of us around as sex slaves.
That part doesn't sound so bad.
Not the kind of sex you like, Angel.
Just kissing and cuddling and Listening.
Well, I'll tell you what.
I'm not going down without a fight.
I did hear they're hiring down at, uh, Astro Taco.
No! That place is a dump.
I mean, we still have our pride.
For now.
When the women take over, they'll make pride illegal.
That and eating on the toilet.
Ah, thanks, doc.
That prostate exam wasn't as bad as I expected.
Beers really took the edge off.
I love your bracelet.
It was a little present to myself.
I could wait around for a guy to buy it for me, but none of them have any money.
Oh.
So the drug business is good, uh? Bazonkers.
I have got more work than I can handle.
In fact, if you know anyone, we are looking to hire.
Uh, really? 'Cause I'm a salesman and I-I happen to be between jobs.
Oh, we're kind of just looking for girls.
Really? Why? Well, we've had some guys, but the doctors seem to want to nail them less.
Okay, see ya next time.
Um, Mr.
Standish? Yeah? How would you like to pay for your physical? What do you mean? I showed you my insurance card on the way in.
But your coverage lapsed last week.
What?! The total is $900.
Oh, my God.
How the hell am I gonna get $900? Oh, I'm sorry, Connie.
Lee Standish? Yes? We're ready for you.
Oh, well, wish me luck.
Thanks for the tampon.
hmm Hi.
I'm Vanessa Warner.
I run the midwest drug sales division here at Coreco.
Oh.
Lee Standish.
Um So I got a chance to look at your resume.
And I have to say, I'm intrigued.
Mm.
You sold Pontiacs? Oh, yes, yes.
Believe it or not, that it my actual resume.
What was it like working there? There couldn't have been many women.
No, I was the only one.
Mm.
That must've been hard.
Oh, it was! The guys were always sassing me or patting my Fanny or Ogling my my teats.
Well, you are a very Beautiful woman.
Oh.
And you played Football in college? Oh! Is that still on there? Yes.
I-I played lingerie football.
But anyway, what I really wanna talk about are some of the amazing pharmaceuticals that Coreco makes.
For instance, your new arthritis drug Polluxor? The results it's been getting in nonpartisan clinical trials are just stunning.
And the fact that it has all the advantages of low dose corticosteroids without any of the side effects of the Cox-2 selective nsaids? I mean, get out of town! You're impressive.
Mm.
Most of the girls who interview here think clinical trials are the things Lindsay Lohan keeps having to go to.
I'm not your ordinary girl.
No, you're not.
Honey.
Hi.
I got a job! Are are are you serious? Doing what? Uh, working as a salesman at drug company.
You know, talking in my regular voice, my genitals just hanging free.
Oh, honey! Yay! Oh! I don't wanna say that I'd given up hope, but, yeah, I kinda had.
Yeah, well, me, too.
Yeah.
My brave face was getting so tired.
But we did it.
We did it.
We made it through.
Mwah! Come on, I'm taking you out.
Let's celebrate.
Okay.
Let me just go get changed.
No, what you have on is fine.
We're just going to the bar.
The bar? Yeah, yeah.
I called Angel and Brian.
We're gonna m ah, Angel and Brian.
You know what? I suddenly do not feel like going out.
Okay.
I'll just wake you up for sex later.
Yeah? Okay, wait.
You seem mad.
What What is it? Why don't you give it some thought? And just see what you come up with.
Okay? Oh, sorry, ladies! A man got a job.
Guess you'll have to wait a little while longer for your sex slaves.
So when can we come by the office so you can take us out to lunch? Mm.
Mm.
Um Well, you know, I, um I don't get a lunch break.
Well, then how about getting us some job interviews? Uh come on, Brian.
The man just got hired.
Now he's supposed to put his ass on the line for you? I'm sorry.
It's just getting a little awkward living with my ex-wife.
The new husband? Not a big fan.
Thanks for getting him off my back.
No problem.
But we still have our deal, right? If you're working, I'm working.
Well, um I'm not sure you'd be up for everything This job requires.
But I'm Puerto Rican.
I'd be great at selling drugs.
Ah.
That's not what I mean.
Then what do you mean? Just that, um I don't think you'd totally fit in.
Oh, I get it.
It's because I'm a mechanic, right? No.
I'm not good enough to work in your fancy office? No, that's not what I meant, Angel.
I no, no.
It's good.
I'm glad to know what you really think of me.
Come on, man.
Enjoy your stupid celebration.
Ahem.
Uh, pardon me.
Mm-hmm? Oh! Hi, I'm I'm Lee.
I just finished my orientation.
I wasn't sure where my desk is.
Welcome! I'm Kelly.
Oh, hi.
This is your desk right here.
And wait.
Have we met before? Oh, I don't think so.
I've never been to that doctor's office.
You must be the giant car saleswoman.
Vanessa told me about you.
Yes, hi.
I'm I'm Lee Standish.
Yes, I know.
I'm Grace Hudson.
I've been the regional sales leader for the last couple of years.
But from what Vanessa tells me, it looks like I might have some competition.
Oh, I don't know about that.
Yeah, I don't know about that either.
Cute bag.
Oh, thank you! Come on, grace.
Don't be such a bitch.
What? I-I said I liked it.
We know what you meant.
We do? Oh! You must be the new girl! I'm Kristin.
I used to be the new girl, but not anymore! Please tell me you're not already in a book club.
So what's your story? Are you married? Wait, wait.
I'm really good at this.
Um, so no wedding ring, but I do see a tan line on your ring finger.
Mm.
So Divorced.
Did he leave you for someone smaller? Wow, you guys just dive right in, don't you? You're right.
We're so rude to pry.
Was it messy? Any traumatized kids at home? Well, I suppose there's no harm in telling you I-I do have a 14-year-old daughter.
Oh, my God! I'm a single mom, too.
Ethan is 8.
He's always the only one at "bring your kid to work" day, but now your daughter will be there, too! Oh, she can't.
She's, um She's in a bubble.
Oh, that's me.
Ooh, I should take this.
It's my, uh, my Waxer.
Hello? Hey, Lee, I don't like the way we left things.
We need to have a conversation.
Sweetheart, now's not a good time, okay? Me and the guys at work Hey, sweetie, we're gonna get some lunch.
Wanna join us? Who's that woman? I'll be right there.
And who's that woman? It's no one.
I've gotta go.
Oh, come on Lee.
Have a seat.
Okay.
Let me get my I am just so Hungry.
Oh.
Mm.
All right.
So There we go.
Bon appetit.
Mmm! Uh, excuse me? Welcome to Astro Taco.
Arriba, arriba.
Can I help you? Uh, yes.
Um, uh, one One steak burrito, please.
One steak.
$5.
75.
Okay.
Ole, ole.
Have a nice day.
Oh, you, too.
Ah, screw it.
Uh, pardon me? I have a bone to pick with you.
You gave me change for a $10, and I gave you a $300.
Lady, you're crazy.
Get out of here.
Okay.
But just one more thing I have to say.
It's me.
Lee.
Lee? Yeah.
This is what I had to do to get a job.
Okay, my eyes are up here.
That's how I got the job, and I wanna help you get one, too.
How did you even do this? You really wanna know? What you gonna do with all that junk? all that junk inside your trunk? I'm-a get, get, get, get you drunk get you love drunk off my hump my hump, my hump my hump, my hump, my hump my hump, my hump, my hump my lovely little lumps check it out my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump my hump, my hump, my hump my hump, my hump, my hump my lovely lady lumps my lovely lady lumps my lovely lady lumps In the back and in the front my lovin' got you she got me spendin' spendin' all your money on me and spendin' time on me Excuse me.
Oh, my God! Help me.
Spendin' all your money on me Please.
So what do you say? I don't know, man.
You have to understand, this kind of thing doesn't really fly in my culture.
Oh! Oh, 'cause, you know, my culture just freakin' loves it.
Look, man, you're my best friend, you know? I cannot stand seeing you like this.
I'd be proud to work with you again, the fancy office and everything.
Hey, Angel, bathroom needs cleaning.
I just cleaned it ten minutes ago.
Welcome to Astro Taco.
I don't think you're ready for this jelly For this jelly I don't think you're ready I don't think you're ready for this Hey, Shakira, tone down the booty shake a little, will ya? This is what my body does, bro.
I don't think you're ready for this and my body's too bootylicious Hi.
I'm here for my interview.
Hi.
I'm Vanessa.
Likewise.
I mean, Angel Ortiz.
It's nice to meet you.
I love your scarf.
Oh, thank you.
And your ass looks tight in those pants.
Hey! How you doing? Oh, pretty good.
Little itchy.
I hope grace isn't being too rough on you.
She gave me a hard time when I first started working here, too, and now we're such good friends.
We even have nicknames for each other.
Like, I call her "hottie" or princess," and she calls me "sausage fingers.
" Anyway, I got you something.
Oh! Wow! Thank you.
Thank you so much! But can I ask you something? What what's so bad about my pocketbook? Besides the fact that you call it a pocketbook? Look, uh, don't take this the wrong way, but it seems like you haven't been shopping in this century.
Oh.
Really? Look, I-I know what it's like having to work and take care of a kid all by yourself.
Not that it was any easier when I was married.
My husband was no help.
He was always just hanging out at the bar with his friends.
Was yours like that? Well, maybe a little.
But, you know, he would invite me along to the bar.
Oh, ooh! What a prince! Anyway, the bag is just a reminder that you're a woman.
And you have needs.
You can't neglect yourself.
Well, maybe you're right.
Maybe I have been neglecting myself well, stop it! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh.
And inside the bag is the next selection for book club.
It's about a girl who comes of age during a spelling bee in Rwanda.
Oh.
Spoiler alert she dies.
Lee! Lee! Oh.
Um, pardon me for just one moment.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
How'd it go? I blew it.
Why didn't you tell me she was so hot? My ace bandage was holding on for dear life.
You you want me to talk to her? I'll talk No, no, no.
She already left for a meeting.
And I don't want you risking your job for me.
I'm sure Astro Taco will take me back.
Oh, man.
Jessica, will you call Dr.
Lerner and tell him I'm gonna be late? My car won't start.
I know a little bit about cars.
To Angel! To Angel.
To me! So you fixed Vanessa's car? Mm-hmm, and once I got it running, she was like, "anyone who would get under a car in a skirt is worth taking a chance on.
" How did you know how to do that? Oh, it was easy.
I just had to tune the solenoid so the drive gear meshed with the flywheel.
Anywho What is Vanessa like as a boss? Is she just all about the job or does she have a husband? No, no husband.
Really? Yeah, and personally, I think she might be a lesbian.
Nice.
Oh, that's me.
Oh, well, I really should be getting home.
You know, single mom and all.
What? Shh.
Hello? Have I gotten drunk and slept with a random guy yet? No one is going home until we dance.
Apple bottom jeans, jeans boots with the fur, with the fur the whole club was looking at her she hit the floor, she hit the floor next thing you know shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low them baggy sweatpants and the reeboks with the straps, with the straps she turned around and gave that big booty a smack she hit the floor, she hit the floor next thing you know shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low Go, Lee! Go, Lee! Go, Lee! Go, Lee! Go, Lee! I'm going! I'm going! I can't believe your father is ignoring my calls.
He better not even think about waking me up tonight for sex ophone lessons.
See, mom? I'm sure that's dad now.
That's not my phone.
Hello? Hey, Kat, it's me, a high school dude.
I was wondering if you wanna, like, interact on a social networking site.
And who is this? You are welcome.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you! Mwah.
I don't care how much mom hates you.
I think you're awesome.
Okay, before you say anything, I got you something as well.
This is gorgeous.
How the hell did you pick it out? Look, I-I think that I lost sight of the fact that I'm not the only one this past year's been tough on.
Okay? And I am sorry if I've been neglecting you.
Look at that.
You figured it out.
I did.
Tonight, I'm taking you out.
Mm? Not to the bar.
Yeah, and Angel and Brian? Will be at least two tables away.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I almost forgot.
Look inside the bag.
There's more.
Ooh! "A rainbow over Rwanda"? Spoiler alert she dies.
Just go strike up a conversation with her.
Okay.
I can do this.
Yeah.
Hi.
I'm Angel.
Sarah.
I was hoping you'd come over.
Really? Well, in the case, can I just cut to the chase? Absolutely.
You have no visible panty lines.
How do you make that happen? I'm not wearing any underwear.
Yeah, that's not gonna work for me.