Worzel Gummidge (2019) s01e01 Episode Script

1
BIRDSONG
John, look.
Massive flock of crows.
You might enjoy this.
It's not supposed to be
a punishment
just a change of scenery.
Scatterbrook, nearly there.
Well, I'm looking forward to it.
It's it's a murder.
What's that?
It's a "murder" of crows,
not a "flock".
CHICKENS CLUCK
Not much of a welcome.
They expecting you?
I think so.
TAXI DRIVER:
Well
good luck.
GRUFF VOICE: Now what?
- METAL THUDS
Hello.
Mr Braithwaite?
We've been sent
from the foster home.
You should have got a letter.
I'm Susan.
This is my brother, John.
HE SHOUTS:
Renie!
Oh!
Look what they've sent us!
Oh, hello my dears.
Sorry I wasn't here to meet you,
I was making up your room.
"Willing farm hands" it says
in the letter.
With an exclamation mark.
Oh, pipe down, Henry.
They always put that,
it's a joke.
Oh, have you come
as something, dear?
- Pardon?
- Your costume.
MR BRAITHWAITE: Well,
they're not gonna be any help
so they'd better not
be any trouble.
Oh, he's just worried.
He wasn't bothered about having
kids come to stay this year.
Too much on his plate.
The harvest is late,
none of the crops are ready.
So you'll have to stay
out of his way.
We'll try and find something
for you to do.
Is there a Wi-Fi code?
A what-fi what?
A Wi-Fi code.
A wi-what-what?
Doesn't matter.
Maybe you can throw
stones at the crows?
How does that sound?
Terrific.
You can start tomorrow.
Right, in we go.
This way. That's it.
He doesn't even want us here.
She said he wasn't bothered.
- That's different.
- That's an improvement.
I'm tired of being a nuisance
everywhere we go.
You said this was gonna be
different.
It will be.
Honestly, I think
this will be good
and if we make ourselves useful,
who knows.
Maybe we won't have to go back.
She thought you were
in fancy dress.
Shut your mouth!
- "What have you come as?"
- Shut your mouth!
You're not exactly dressed
for life on the farm.
Look at that.
JOHN:
Weird.
SUSAN:
Yeah, creepy.
No, I mean
I saw it earlier from the car.
But not here.
It must have been
a different one.
You wanna see?
Hm
It's the same one.
Same coat.
I like him.
BIRD TWITTERS
Did you see that? A bird.
Yeah, a robin.
There must be a nest in there.
SUSAN: Yeah, chicks.
- CHICKS TWITTER
It's like his heart.
Cover them up,
they'll get scared.
That'll be us tomorrow,
scaring crows.
SCARECROW CREAKS
- JOHN: Oh!
Oh, that made me jump.
Let's go.
See you later.
Look after those chicks.
Oo-aye.
What are you doing?
I can't I don't know how
to light this.
Oh, I thought it was
It's this new-fangled
electricity.
You'll get used to it.
I did see that scarecrow
from the cab
and I can prove it
because I filmed it.
Where's my phone?
Have you got it?
SUSAN:
Why would I have it?
Phone it with yours.
MOBILE PHONE CHIMES
HE SIGHS
Out of battery.
You got a charger?
You packed the charger.
Tell me you packed the charger.
Oh, no!
What are we gonna do?
We'll survive.
It'll be like the olden days.
Like the nineties or something.
I did see it, I'm not lying.
Never said you were,
go to sleep.
JOHN SIGHS
JOHN BLOWS
Oh.
SUDDEN BANG
- BOTTLES CLATTER
LOUD CLATTER OUTSIDE
HE MUTTERS:
Phone charger, phone charger.
Phone charger, phone charger.
LATCH SQUEAKS
- Argh!
- JOHN SHOUTS
What you doin',
standing there in the dark
with your eyes wide open?
Made me jump.
MR BRAITHWAITE COUGHS
I found your musical box.
You left it in the corn.
I heard it.
PHONE CLATTERS ON TABLE
Thanks
I dropped it, I'm afraid.
Three times in total.
How
do you
walk?
I puts one foot in front
of the other, same as you.
Nice to have you 'ere.
Good to have some extra hands.
They're putting you up
indoors are they?
Yeah.
Unconventional, but still
dry lodgings prevents
the mildew.
Matter of fact, there was
something I wanted to ask you.
Something playing on my mind.
OK.
It's probably nothing to be
concerned about, but
well, I won't burden you
with it now.
It can wait till the mornin'
when you've rested up a bit.
Shall we meet in the field
next to the God cake?
- Uh
- What time?
Any time? See you then.
Actually, better make it
half past.
Wait.
What's your name?
Oh, good guff!
Where are my manners?
I's Worzel Gummidge.
Welcome to Scatterbrook.
DOOR CLOSES
COCK CROWS
- What?
- You alright?
Hurry up, I want
to get out there.
It looks like a lovely day.
- Are you being sarcastic?
- DOOR SLAMS
No.
"Looks like a lovely day"?
You are not going to believe
what happened last night.
- Oh
- Now, you'll have to
amuse yourselves today
and stay out of his way,
the farmer.
He'll like as not
be in a foul mood.
Worse than yesterday?
OK, listen.
This is going to sound weird, but
that scarecrow came here last
night and brought back my phone.
His name is Worzel Gummidge.
and he said that we have to meet
him today
at the field by the God cake.
He acted as if he knew
who I was.
Like he was expecting us.
Well? Say something.
What's a "God cake"?
That's your question?
What about the scarecrow
coming alive and talking bit?
I didn't believe that bit,
like you said I wouldn't.
Mrs Braithwaite?
What's a God cake?
MRS BRAITHWAITE:
A God cake?
Where did you hear that?
Heard somebody say it.
Oh, well, God cakes are
you know those small triangles
of grass
where three country lanes meet?
So, when the carts had to make
wide turns they left these
these little islands
in the middle.
- Are there any near here?
- Well, there's one up where
Scatterbrook Lane meets
Birchwood.
Up the top, past Ten Acre Field.
SUSAN:
It doesn't prove anything.
Well, I can't have just made up
that God cake thing, can I?
SUSAN:
I don't know.
Where are you going?
It's this way.
You have to come and meet
Worzel Gummidge.
John, I'm not playing
scarecrows, OK?
I don't want to play.
It's not a game.
I'm no good at improvisation.
I'm not making it up!
SHE SIGHS
SUSAN:
OK, it isn't here.
Well, he didn't say
"on the God cake".
He said, in the field
next to it.
- There it is.
- Where?
Told you.
Come on.
SHE MOUTHS SILENTLY
HE MOUTHS SILENTLY
Uh hello?
So my brother here
reckons that
There you are!
I was looking the wrong way!
It was only a 50/50 chance
that way or that way
and I chose the wrong one.
WORZEL:
You're late.
Thought we said half past.
No matter, I'm used to waiting.
I had a conversation
with a chaffinch.
It was filling me in about some
stale buns
in the bins outside the bakers.
This is slightly awkward.
There anything I can do to make
this easier for you?
My name, as I told you
last night
is Worzel Gummidge
and your name is?
- Susan.
- Susan!
Very boring name.
Hopefully, I'll be able
to remember it.
And?
- John.
- John!
Most boring name of all.
I'll definitely remember
that one.
HE CHUCKLES
- You said last night
you had something to ask us?
I did, yes.
And you've probably guessed
what it is
and you're most likely
gonna ask me the same.
So I'll answer.
Yes, I am.
You are what?
- Worried.
- What are you worried about?
Same as you.
Weather. Something's up!
The leaves aren't turning
and the blackberries
aren't ripenin'.
These boys and girls should have
fledged a month back
but they're showing
no inclination.
- No inclination at all.
- FLY BUZZES
Where are the geese?
Why aren't they flying
south-ways?
Mrs Braithwaite was talking
about it.
The crops
and the harvest are late.
Look, I found this in my hanky.
- What is it?
- It's a knot.
So?
Well, I put it there
to remind me of something.
JOHN: What?
- I've forgotten.
I'm sure it's to do
with the weather.
I can't help feeling
that whatever the problem is
it's up to us to fix it.
Us?
I don't think we're
who you think we are.
Oh, no, no, no. I knows
who you are, alright.
Soon as I saw you.
True, don't expect to see
scarecrows riding in cars
or sleeping indoors
but the clothes
giveaway!
Absolute triumph!
I know I'm a natty dresser
but I have never seen
such a jumble of ill-fitting
odd-ball clothes
so unsuited to the countryside.
I knows who you are!
Sorry. What?
We're not scarecrows.
Course you are, look at you!
JOHN:
No, we're not.
I'm a boy, she's a girl.
Not scarecrows?
No.
Sorry.
But
- Not humans?
- Yeah, I mean
Yeah, we're humans.
HE GASPS
What have I done?
HE GASPS
WOOD CREAKS
Oi!
What are you doing
with that?
What's even going on?
What's happening?
That's belongs
in Ten Acre Field!
Don't worry, we won't tell him.
As if I haven't got enough
to do
without chasing scarecrows
round the countryside.
We didn't take him.
Oh, right! Must have walked here
by itself then!
What? So they can do that?
I was being funny.
Oh.
Hah.
MR BRAITHWAITE SIGHS
Careful with him.
There's a nest in his pocket.
Eh?
MR BRAITHWAITE:
Well, I never. So there is.
- Sparrows?
- Robins.
Are they now?
Why are you still in the nest?
Why are they?
Why is everything so late,
Mr Braithwaite?
I don't know.
All I do know is, if I can't get
these crops in soon
I'll lose it all.
The harvest?
Well, come on then!
Help me get it back
where it belongs.
Worzel, he's gone.
You can wake up now.
How does this even work?
I dunno.
But I don't care.
It's brilliant.
It's alright, Worzel.
We'll come back tomorrow
and I'll have a think about
the whole weather problem.
So, you rest up.
We'll come back tomorrow.
Come on.
COWS MOO
MR BRAITHWAITE:
Walk! Come on!
That's it. Hey, come on now!
MRS BRAITHWAITE: You can
do me a favour this morning.
You can take this bag
down to one of the charity shops
in the village.
There's more than one?
- There's eight.
- Eight charity shops?
Cat's home, dog's home, cancer,
dementia, homeless
hedgehogs, homeless hedgehogs
and the hard of hearing.
Alright, Worzel? How's it going?
I was just going to say
we're heading down
to the charity shop
dropping off this bag.
Yeah, bag of old clothes.
All the colours of the rainbow.
All the colours of the rainbow.
I was wondering if you wanted
to have a quick look through?
See if there's anything
that you fancy.
Oven gloves?
- Probably not.
- Oh, some slippers!
A slipper?
What about this?
One of those posh neck scarfs.
Yeah, I bet you'd look brilliant
in this.
Like a gentleman.
What do you reckon, John?
Oh, really classy!
What's that? Silk?
- That looks like silk.
- Oh! That's not fair!
How do yous know I've always had
a craving for a cravat?
A cravat, that's it!
Soon as I saw you, I thought
"There's a scarecrow
that would suit
a stylish piece of neckwear.
Well, you're not wrong there.
You knows as well as I do
what an handsome figure
I'd cut in a neckerchief
and you've used it against me.
You've tricked me into
talking to human beings
for the second time.
- Third.
- Third!
It wasn't a trick.
Here, it's yours.
Oh, well I ain't got no money.
It's on us.
If you let us help
with the weather problem.
Help you remember
what you forgot.
Throw in the oven gloves
and you've got
yourselves a deal.
JOHN:
How old are you?
WORZEL:
I am all manner of ages.
My head's one age,
my feet are another
so on and so forth.
It's usual with scarecrows,
and I don't mind.
It means I get lots of
birthdays.
Who made you?
Green Man made me.
Same he's made
all the scarecrows.
And if he finds out I've been
talking humans
he won't be impressed.
How do you do that thing?
The playing dead thing?
Oh, "a sulk" we calls it.
It's a knee-jerk reaction.
JOHN:
So, you can't help it?
WORZEL: A sulk is
a little bit like a sneeze.
Sometimes you can stop 'em
if you concentrate.
Most of the time they just sneak
up on you.
Do you eat food?
Course I eat food.
What else am I gonna eat?
But where does it go?
You haven't got any insides.
Oh, I shouldn't think too hard
about it.
You'll find a lot of things
don't add up.
So has the weather ever done
this before?
Oh, aye.
You remember the dreadful winter
of 1963?
Of course I don't, I'm 12.
Or the long hot summer of '76.
- Twelve!
- It happened then.
The countryside was in crisis.
Problem is, each part of me
has been replaced
at least twice.
I haven't had any bit
long enough
to remember how to fix it.
Is there anyone older than you?
Nobody as I've got
any inclination to speak to.
I haven't been to visit
for so long, she won't be happy.
She always was
a miserable old trout.
It's why I stopped visiting.
JOHN:
Who is it?
Aunt Sally.
My poor Mum's horrible sister.
JOHN:
A scarecrow?
Not a scarecrow, no.
Aunt Sally's
a fairground attraction.
A wooden woman what they
used to set up
and people would pay a penny
to throw sticks at it.
You get a prize if you hit her
in the head.
- Oh!
- WORZEL: I know.
Dreadful! Well, you can't go
round throwing sticks
at women these days,
I don't care what anybody says.
So, my aunt retired
and now she's in the museum.
Oh, well that's better.
Trouble is, she's become
unbearable with it.
Thinks she's the queen of Sheba.
What?
You shouldn't do that you know.
It's bad for you.
Will your aunt remember?
Oh, she never forgets nothin'.
Especially if I was to blame.
She's like one of those animals
what never forgets.
What are those animals
what never forgets?
Doesn't matter.
You need to see your Aunt Sally.
JOHN:
Oh, no.
No, this might be good.
Less people around.
You're right. I got a plan.
You two go in and make
a nuisance of yourselves.
Those are going in the end
gallery, are they?
For now?
Hello.
Can I help?
We're closed, I'm afraid,
for refurbishment.
- Didn't you see the sign?
- No.
What's this museum of?
Local history.
That's the best kind.
We're closed.
What's the oldest thing
you've got here?
- The fossils probably, but
- How old are they?
Well, some of them are
300 million years old.
Shut up!
- Pardon?
- How old is this?
That's my telephone.
How old is it?
Oh, my goodness.
I do beg your pardon.
WORZEL:
Hello?
Aunt Sally?
Is that you?
Oh!
HE GASPS
Aunt Sally!
It's me, Worzel.
I don't know anyone called
Worzel.
Your nephew, Worzel.
I don't have a nephew.
Oh, Aunty, don't be like that.
I'm sorry I haven't
been to visit.
Hm! Stand up straight!
You're very thin.
- Are you ill?
- No.
Have you got a girlfriend?
- Um
- Tuck your shirt in!
Aunty, I'm thin
because I'm made of sticks
it's none of your business
whether I got
a girlfriend or no.
I can't tuck my shirt in
cos I aren't wearing one.
Please listen.
We need your help.
There's something wrong
with the weather.
Something's up.
I tied a knot in my hanky
to remind me to fix it,
but I forgot how.
Do you know what's going on?
You mean why are
the seasons locked?
- Are they?
- "Are they" he asks.
Isn't it obvious?
We're stuck in midsummer
and nothing's moving on.
Muddy boots!
Language!
Is it true that the Tudors
threw their poo out the window?
Was it Einstein that was killed
by an apple?
When exactly was 1066?
Where are your parents?
You sell book marks!
You're right!
The seasons are all locked up.
Just as they were
that long cold winter.
What do I do?
How do I unlock 'em?
To unlock something
you need a key.
I haven't got a key.
Lost it, of course.
Why am I not surprised?
I don't think I ever had a key.
You always were
a flighty by night.
A what?
- A dilly dally doodler.
- Pardon?
A jac-me-which-me-
where-me-what.
Where do I find the key
and what do I do with it?
Oh, you seem to forget, Worzel,
that I am not a scarecrow.
I'm an Aunt Sally.
I don't understand your
scarecrow hocus pocus.
I stayed very well away
on that night.
So you do remember?
Whenever scarecrows gather
there's bound to be trouble.
A scarecrow gathering
always ends in pandemonium.
Gathering!
That's it!
I need the other scarecrows.
One of them'll have the key.
You'll have to hurry.
If they're not here by
harvest moon
it'll have to wait
another month.
Harvest moon!
Of course.
Oh, my hat. That's tomorrow.
Aunt Sally, you are a wonder.
- Don't be soft.
- You are!
You're a duchess.
I have to dash, but I'll come
back and visit.
And I'll bring you a present.
What do you need?
Big tin of varnish!
HE KISSES HER
Aunt Sally, you are
VASE SMASHES
priceless.
What did she say?
Did she remember?
The seasons are locked,
I should have guessed.
There's been no rain for weeks
but the corn's still lush
and green.
- What do you do?
- Well
There's a key to unlock 'em.
I'll have to send a message to
the Scarecrows of Albion.
I'll have to journey
HIS VOICE ECHOES
to the Tree of Tree.
The what of what, pardon?
There's a tree
an ancient tree.
Every breeze and every
breath of wind
passes through that tree
on the way to wherever
it needs to go.
They calls it
The Tree of Tree.
That's what it's called?
Yep.
Where is it?
Far, far away.
Like over the sea?
- Not that far.
- Scotland?
Not that far, no.
- A train journey away.
- You could probably walk it.
So, no that far away then.
Well, it doesn't sound so
mysterious does it
to say there's this magical tree
really close by?
Where is it exactly?
Supermarket carpark
on Umsdale road.
Let's go.
Remind me again how this tree
in a supermarket carpark
is going to help.
WORZEL:
I tell my message to the tree
the tree sends it off
whisperin' on the breezes
and ringin' in the rain
till all have heard
who needs to hear.
- Oh, dear.
- SUSAN: Is this it?
WORZEL:
Oh-aye, this is her.
The Tree of Tree.
One of the three Trees of Tree
She don't look well.
- What what's wrong?
- Look at her!
She's all clogged up
with jellyfish.
JOHN:
Those aren't jellyfish.
They're plastic bags.
Look the same to me.
Look the same to turtles too
when they end up in the oceans.
I don't see what's wrong
with a basket, myself.
At least they can't fly.
Well
How can we clear it?
Can you climb it?
WORZEL:
With these limbs?
I'd be inextricably tangled
before you could say
"Actually, Gummidge, perhaps
this wasn't such a good idea".
Wait a minute.
You can talk to the birds.
- Affirmative.
- Well
then ask the crows if they'll
clear the bags out of the tree.
What did you do that for?
- Do what?
- Slap me round the face.
I didn't.
Felt like someone just slapped
me round the face.
Are you suggesting that I,
Worzel Gummidge
the scarecrow of Scatterbrook
make a deal with the crows?
But can't you just call a truce
for one day?
I'd sooner strike a deal with
the spadgers
I don't got no beef
with the spadgers
- What are spadgers?
- Little brown jobs.
SUSAN: Sparrows.
- That's what I said.
SHE SIGHS
Sparrows are too small
and there aren't enough of them.
It would take them a year.
The crows could rip
all these bags
out of the tree in no time.
Make a deal
with my arch enemies!
SUSAN:
You know it makes sense.
So swallow your pride,
and speak to the crows.
- Where's Winter George?
- Who's Winter George?
WORZEL TWITTERS LIKE A BIRD
Hey oop!
WORZEL AND ROBIN TWEE
WORZEL:
I I know!
I'm not happy about it either
but these chillens reckon
it's the only way.
You go and tell 'um now.
Tell the rooks, tell the crows
what I said.
We'll be up presently.
CROWS CAW
I might
I'm gonna stay here.
- Guard the gate.
- Good plan.
Alright, which one of you's
the spokes-crow?
Who am I dealing with?
CROW SQUAWKS
- Evening.
- CROW SQUAWKS
Read any good rooks lately?
Read any good rooks!
Tough crowd.
Alright, I know I've scared you
all in the past
and I will again, to be sure.
CROW CAWS
I know I've called you
a feathered plague.
I've wished you all electrified
on the telegraph wires.
CROWS CAW ANGRILY
SUSAN: Careful, Gummidge,
they're getting annoyed.
I know I've called your mothers
bandy-legged ostriches
and your dads
a bunch of penguins, but
but
I want you to forget
about all that
and do us a favour.
CROW CAWS ANGRILY
Why not? I did ask nicely!
I did say "please".
I'm not saying it again
cos I already said it.
Can I Worzel
Can I speak to them?
I think you're being a bit
I think you need to
flatter them a bit.
Good luck with that.
Um hello.
I'm Susan.
Nice to meet you.
CROW CAWS
- WORZEL SNIGGERS
What did it say?
Look, I know that Worzel has
scared you over the years
that's what he's made for.
He can't help it.
And what we're asking for
will benefit us all.
It'll benefit the whole world.
CROW CAWS
He says it's not enough.
Says they want payin'.
Paying with what?
CROW CAWS
- Guns.
- Guns?
CROW CAWS
- And cash.
Guns and cash.
Can I just say, I don't think
that would be wise.
Rooks with guns
potentially dangerous.
Look, we haven't got any guns
and even if we did,
be serious, come on.
Something that we could
actually get.
CROW CAWS
- A bag of grain.
OK, that's more like it.
Can we do that?
Aren't no grain, not till
the harvest comes.
There, you'll be paid
when the job's done.
If we can get the seasons moving
and the harvest to come
that's when you get
your bag of grain.
CROW CAWS
And a chainsaw.
Don't push your luck.
CROW CAWS
- Alright.
You maniacs, get lost!
Get lost.
Go on, get away with ya!
You'll get your bag of grain.
WORZEL:
Oh, would you look at that!
They've only bloomin' done it!
Was that my idea?
SUSAN:
If you like.
Send to all scarecrows
a wake up alarm.
Tell them to gather at
Scatterbrook Farm.
The seasons are locked.
We're missing the key.
If one of you's got it,
then bring it to me.
Up roots.
Hurry westward.
All will be revealed
by the light of the full moon
in Ten Acre Field.
WHOOSHING NOISE
MUSIC: "The Scarecrow Knows"
by The Unthanks
Oh the sun shines bright ♪
And the corn grows high ♪
And the crows are gathering
in the sky ♪
And the scarecrow sees ♪
And the scarecrow knows ♪
How the seasons change ♪
And the seasons roll ♪
Oh scare'um, scare'um,
don't you know ♪
The scarecrow sees
and the scarecrow knows ♪
BIRDS TWEE
MRS BRAITHWAITE GASPS
Oh!
Well, was it a dark wash,
or a light wash?
And it's all gone?
Well, can he wear
his Wednesday pants?
What about his Friday pants?
What all of 'em?
Oh!
Well, I would say he could
borrow a pair of Henry's, but
No, I don't think he'd be keen.
Well, listen.
I'll keep an eye out.
Yeah, alright then.
Cheerio, cheerio.
Oh!
- Who was that?
- Ethel Parsons.
All her washing's gone.
Stolen. She left it out
because there was a brisk wind
and this morning, gone!
You two know anything
about this?
No.
Wasn't us.
Hm
It's them.
The scarecrows, they're here.
- Psst!
- Worzel?
What are you doing here?
What a night!
Absolute pandemonium,
just as Aunt Sally predicted.
Here, can you deal with this?
- What is it?
- Stolen clothes.
What am I supposed
to do with them?
Take the blame?
JOHN:
Let's get out of here.
Mr B's already suspicious.
They started arriving
around midnight.
Trampling over gardens
stealing washing
I had to gather 'em all up
and send them up
to the woods to wait.
But there's a problem.
What?
None of them's got the key.
None of 'em even knows
what it looks like.
So what are you gonna do
at harvest moon?
Well, that's the problem,
I don't know.
You've got to think, Worzel.
I know.
What's a good way
of concentrating?
- Like that?
- Yep.
Well, nothing's coming.
WORZEL GRUNTS
Here.
WORZEL GRUNTS
- Worzel!
No!
Oi!
JOHN:
It's not what it looks like.
Don't even try.
I'm not stupid.
- We didn't
- I said I don't want to hear.
Go pack your bags.
You're leaving tomorrow.
No!
Don't send us back.
We didn't take it, I promise!
SUSAN:
Where are you going with that?
Ten Acre Field.
That corn's not gonna ripen
so I'll cut it for straw.
You can't, it will all be fixed
by tomorrow.
What now?
MR BRAITHWAITE SIGHS
Where did you get that?
It's mine, I dropped it.
Where did you find this?
I didn't steal it off
the washing line.
I've seen this before.
When I was a boy.
- Where?
- This very pattern
I'll never forget it.
It'd been the harshest winter
anyone could remember.
It was like we were
stuck in winter.
There was one last heavy
snowfall at the end of February
and the next morning this
was drawn in huge circles
across the fresh snow.
Right across Ten Acre Field.
- Who did it?
- Never found out.
And no sooner had it appeared
than the weather turned
thaw set in
and the snow melted away
within a day.
But I'll never forget
this pattern.
Now, I don't know what's going
on or where you got this
but I haven't got time
to find out what you're up to.
Go pack your things.
I'll take you to the station
in the mornin'.
Go on, go.
WORZEL:
Psst!
- Worzel, look.
- Let me see that.
No wonder I tied a knot.
Stop me blowing my nose on it.
This is the answer.
We gotta do this pattern
in Ten Acre Field
but in the corn
instead of the snow.
Won't the scarecrows
go into a sulk
when they see me and Susan?
Oh, don't worry, I've told 'em
you're coming.
I told them you were a special
type of city scarecrow
with stupid names.
Thanks!
Do you know them all?
Oh-aye. Oh, there might be
a couple of new faces.
And are they alright?
Utterly insane the lot of them.
No wonder really,
out in all weathers
ravaged by rooks and ravens.
They have a tendency to get
over excited
and start pulling bits off
each other for a laugh.
Wait, but you told them
we don't come apart, right?
What do you mean,
you don't come apart?
DISTANT CHATTER
LAUGHING AND SHOUTING
Muddy boots!
SCARECROW CACKLES
It's anarchy!
Here.
Oh!
Wait here.
Here he is!
It's Worzel!
Three hips for Worzel Gummidge!
- Hip, hip
- ALL: Hip!
This way, you nutters.
You're in the wrong field.
Follow me, I got the plans
drawed on this hanky.
Hey up, scarecrow.
You're looking windswept
and sun-bleached.
I heard you got struck
by lightning.
Three times now.
Congratulations, old horse.
Here! What are you doing?
Oh, uh he said I've got mice.
Well, he has, and termites
all up his legs!
Well, you're not gonna get
anywhere
- fighting about it like that!
- THUDS AND GRUNTS
No?
No, you need two planks,
one plank each.
- Oh, I'll get another one.
- No time now.
This way, chillen. Everyone,
these are the scarecrows
I was telling you about.
City folk!
Don't try and remember their
names, you'll never do it!
Too few syllables.
Come on, you lunatics!
INDISTINCT CHATTER
OWL HOOTS
THUDDING
- INDISTINCT CHATTER
Gather round.
Gather round and settle down.
I need I need a flat surface.
A level surface.
Oh, can I help?
Flat Alastair!
Ideal, much obliged.
HE GRUNTS
Uh, Gummidge, Gummidge,
Gummidge!
I made up a joke for ya.
You'll like this.
What's the difference between
a lemon and a banana?
I don't know,
what's the difference
between a lemon and a banana?
They're both yellow!
- They're both yellow!
- THEY LAUGH
Oh, I see!
THEY LAUGH
We got to be serious
for a minute.
Scarecrows of Albion
Welcome to Scatterbrook.
SCARECROW SHOUTS:
They're both yellow!
THEY LAUGH
Alright, that was a good one
but there'll be time for jokes
later
after the work's done.
Harvest moon is rising,
my friends
and we've got a job to do.
We've got to do this
out there in the corn.
ALL:
Huh?
Alright?
That clear?
Uh
It's quite complicated.
EARTHY MANGOLD:
I was thinking that
when you put it together with
the timeframe and everything.
INDISTINCT CHATTER
Well, we did it all before
in the snow.
Does nobody remember
how it was done?
ALL:
Um
What about the shape?
The teardrop shape.
It looks like
a key.
Uh what key?
A key from a tree.
HMS ODNEY:
Well, what tree?
The trees with the keys
that spin upon the breeze.
Sycamore keys.
HMS ODNEY:
From the sycamore trees?
EARTHY MANGOLD:
It looks like a key.
HMS ODNEY:
What key?
EARTHY MANGOLD:
A key from a tree.
CLARTY:
What tree?
EARTHY MANGOLD:
The trees with the keys
that spin upon the breeze.
SCARECROW:
The sycamore keys?
From the sycamore trees?
WORZEL RAPS:
If the sycamore trees ♪
are the only trees
with keys on ♪
it seems to me,
that there has to be a reason ♪
And I've a funny feeling
it's a changing of the season ♪
Does everyone agree
about the key? ♪
ALL: Yes, everyone agrees
about the key.
ALL IN RHYTHM:
It looks like a key ♪
What key?
A key from a tree ♪
What tree?
The sycamore keys ♪
from the sycamore trees ♪
The sycamore keys
from the sycamore trees? ♪
It looks like a key! ♪
- RECORDER PLAYS
What key?
A key from a tree ♪
What tree?
A sycamore tree ♪
SCARECROWS CONTINUE CHANTING
TWINKLING NOISE
WHISPERING VOICE:
The trees with the keys
that spin on the breeze.
The trees with the keys
that spin on the breeze.
The trees with the keys
that spin on the breeze.
The trees with the keys
that spin on the breeze.
RECORDER PLAYS
The trees with the keys
that spin on the breeze.
The trees with the keys
that spin on the breeze ♪
The trees with the keys
that spin on the breeze ♪
The trees with the keys
that spin on the breeze ♪
The trees with the keys
that spin on the breeze ♪
SCARECROWS LAUGH
THEY LAUGH AND CHEER
SCARECROWS:
Whoo hoo!
COCK CROWS
Hello? Anybody here?
Do you remember coming back
last night?
No.
I remember laying down
in the grass
and closing my eyes
for a minute.
Same.
What time is it?
SUSAN:
Look.
Our bags.
CAR HORN BEEPS
Come on, hurry up!
Leave the bags,
you won't be needing them.
I thought we were going to
the station.
You said we were going back.
Well, it seems like I owe you
an apology.
Mrs Parsons said she saw the
person what stole her washin'
- and it wasn't either of you.
- Oh.
You didn't see any strangers
hanging about?
No!
Anyway, come on, jump in.
There's something
I want you to see.
MUSIC: "Oats and Beans and
Barley Grow" by The Unthanks
Oats and beans
and barley grow ♪
As you and I
and everyone knows ♪
Look at that!
Oats n' beans ♪
Can I have some help
in the orchard?
As you and I
and everyone knows ♪
Waiting for the harvest ♪
First the farmer sows
his seed ♪
Then he stands
and takes his ease ♪
He stamps his feet and claps
his hands ♪
And turns around
to view the land ♪
Waiting for the harvest ♪
CROW CAWS
You can say that again.
Just in the nick of time.
CROW CAWS
- Oh, aye.
- Fingers crossed.
- CROW CAWS
What? What's their names?
The chillens?
Oh, they'll be staying
for a while.
Help with the harvest.
Farmers have taken
a shine to 'em.
If I'm honest, I have too.
They're good kids.
If a bit eccentric.
I'll see they stay out of
trouble and mischief.
You finished your grain now?
Enjoy that, did ya?
Smashing.
Get off my land then.
CROW CAWS
I'm sorry, did I not
make myself clear?
Did you think
we were friends now?
Far from it, pal.
Nothing personal.
Just the way things are.
Clues in the name,
Worzel Gummidge
the Scarecrow of Scatterbrook.
And I'll give you five seconds
to get your greasy talons
off my chalk.
Five
four
three
CROWS CAW
MUSIC: "The Scarecrow Knows"
by The Unthanks
Oh the sun shines bright ♪
And the corn grows high ♪
And the crows are gathering
in the sky ♪
And the scarecrow sees ♪
And the scarecrow knows ♪
How the seasons change ♪
And the seasons roll ♪
Oh scare'um, scare'um,
don't you know ♪
The scarecrow sees
and the scarecrow knows ♪