Young James Herriot (2011) s01e01 Episode Script

Hey, watch where you're going! Sorry.
Move out the way, son! Sorry.
Where you going? Where are you from then? Excuse me.
Do you know the way to the veterinary college? You don't want to go there.
Word is it's closing down.
Closing down? You've not heard its reputation? It can't close.
I've been offered a place there.
This is my first day.
Well, here you are.
Glasgow Veterinary College.
Looks like you're the first here.
Professor Gunnell will be impressed.
Professor Gunnell? He gives the inaugural lecture each year in the courtyard.
Out here? Yes.
He's a real stickler for timekeeping.
All the best.
Thank you.
When does the lecture start? That's him.
You're late.
I'm very sorry, sir.
Professor.
It won't happen again, Professor.
Of that you can be assured, Mr? Herriot.
James Herriot, Professor.
Mr Herriot.
Now, you must take extra care in the bowel of a patient where an abscess is present.
The bacteria are still feeding and will continue to produce gas and pus long after death.
Mr Herriot.
Since you have been so kind to grace us with your presence, perhaps you can redeem yourself.
For the benefit of the class, please explain why the cecum of a rabbit makes its digestive system so unique? I know this one.
As I expected, given you do not have a science qualification to your name.
Anyone? So that it can Mr Skinner? So that it can chew the cud? No, Mr Skinner.
will be able to tell you, a rabbit is not a ruminant! Excuse me.
By the way, you're an idiot.
Got it in one.
So what, you missed half your first lecture.
I'm still here and I've missed hundreds.
Hundreds? It's true.
He's been a vet student for five years and he's still a pig.
I can see what you mean.
Pig.
It means a second year.
Five years' study to get to second year?! My parents would be bankrupt if I took five years.
I need to finish in four.
Which would make you an ox.
Fourth year.
For now, you're a dog.
First year.
Horse, ox, sheep, pig Dog! So, dog, you're bottom of the heap.
Look out for more ribbing.
Is that all you do with your time? Play practical jokes on people? Don't you want to be a vet? What? And have to work for a living? I've only ever wanted to be a vet.
The name's Whirly.
I'm James.
The idiot's called McAloon.
I just ignore him.
Come, dog, let us show you the delights of this esteemed institution.
Give me a hand, George.
Right you are, Tommy.
See if we can get him shifted.
Come on! Father, he's limping again.
You're talking nonsense.
He is, look! You want to feel the back of my hand? Just go and get him some water.
Go on! Go on! Move, you lazy bastard.
No, Dad, no! Just let him be.
We are already behind.
We can't afford another late delivery.
For God's sake, Halliday, leave it alone.
Stay out of my business.
Move! Any fool can see your horse is injured.
You calling me a fool? No! You shouldn't be allowed to own a horse, you thug.
Let's see how you like it.
No, leave him, mister! STOP! Can't you see you're upsetting the boy? Hello.
I'm James.
Are you all right? Get off.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
This animal's dead on its feet.
Well, she looks fine to me.
She's a he.
And who are you to lecture me about horses? James Herriot.
And I'm a vet.
Are you now? A vet who can't tell the sex of a horse? That's very impressive, I'm sure.
You stay there.
You stay away from me.
You understand? You are one very brave fellow.
Well, the man's a bully.
And you're a vet already? Poetic licence.
We should tell him.
What, and miss out on all the fun? Are you mad? Consider it an apology.
Gentlemen! Room for one more? Only if you've got money to bet, McAloon.
Well, I shall write a promissory note and as soon as Pater's postal order arrives The Principal wants to see James Herriot in Professor Richie's office.
Tradition, dear boy.
All dogs must report to the main man.
Whirly and I will show you the way.
Come! I've got a James Herriot for you, Professor Legge.
Shut the door, McAloon.
Right.
Mr Herriot.
Welcome to Glasgow Veterinary College.
You have made quite an impression on your first morning.
I am Professor Legge, Principal of the College.
You've met Professor Gunnell, and I understand you've also made the acquaintance of Professor Richie.
So, I'm a bully and you're a vet? After half a lecture on your first day at college, that's a remarkable achievement.
I'm very sorry, Professor Richie.
I had no idea Indeed.
My advice is we just get rid of him.
Save time and, almost certainly, years of wasted effort.
Well, if I can't study here, I'll go somewhere else.
An overwhelming sense of vocation to be a vet? So why not study one single science subject at school? I studied humanities.
I think that's just as relevant to veterinary work.
Would you like to hazard a diagnosis of the dray's ailment? I don't know exactly.
A fracture? Bad shoes.
Don't just pluck diagnoses out of the air, son.
Well, if I could only examine the horse, I'm sure I could figure out what's wrong.
You're very cocky, Herriot.
You don't want to rub Professor Gunnell up the wrong way.
He's the Vice Principal.
The man with the big whip.
My fellow professors, Herriot insists he can solve the problem.
Let him prove himself.
For a dog, a spectacular first morning.
Well, at least it's earned me my first real vet job.
Lucky you.
What is it? Guess who's going to cure the dray horse? Hello there! Did you see where the delivery cart went? Hello, I'm Jenny Muirhead, Mr Herriot.
Sorry forgot my manners James.
I just need to find that horse.
The one pulling the cart with the beer barrels? You could try Danny Neal's pub, over the road? Thank you for your help, ma'am.
This is the third time in a month that you've been late.
I cannae keep on waiting on you like this.
Are you hearing me, Tommy? Mr Halliday? James Herriot.
The man who stepped in to help you out this morning? Thank you, young sir.
Though, I don't remember asking for your help.
Robbie, let's go.
There is something wrong with your horse Yes, you're the vet, aren't you? Maybe you're working him too hard? This is the only horse in Glasgow still gets rested on the Sabbath, come what may.
Now, I've got a living to make, food to put on the table.
Mr Halliday, I need someone to run an errand for me.
Can I borrow Robbie for an hour? The end is nigh, Donald, if we are accepting the likes of Herriot.
Was there ever a less academic bunch than the ones we're teaching now? Skinner's a waster.
We've had to suffer that fool McAloon for five years and we must be the only vet school in the country accepting women.
Edinburgh would never have them.
It's a new era, Quintin.
Besides, Miss Tyson shows a great deal of promise.
I've said it often enough, we're a laughing stock.
Ach, you're an old dinosaur.
You're a socialist.
Progress, gentlemen.
Who'd have thought the Archbishop of Canterbury would approve of cinemas opening on a Sunday? This is embarrassing, talking about women's facilities.
It's embarrassing when you can't go when you want to.
Gentlemen! We're missing chunks of classes trekking over to the public baths.
Professor Gunnell's got us in his sights Don't give him an excuse, please.
Once the ladies' toilets are established, we're established.
It's as fundamental as that.
Can't you talk her out of this stupid idea? Aren't there more important things to be fighting for? Freedom for India, perhaps? Thanks for nothing, Jenny.
Not best of pals? It's a bit of a shame, because you're the only two ladies in the college.
Chalk and cheese she doesn't believe in the emancipation of women.
Well, given her father owns half of Scotland, she doesn't need to believe.
Whirly, good for you for standing up for what you believe in.
Where do I sign? I'm looking for a Mr McAloon? Yes.
The woman at the post office asked me to deliver these.
They came in the post last week, but they got lost out their envelope.
I knew father would come good.
See? They do care about you.
Guilt money, darling Whirly.
Still, useful round of drinks? Robbie! You'd make a fine young actor.
That's the easiest tuppence I've ever earned.
Well, there's another tuppence coming your way, if you can just tell me everything you know about your horse.
Right, what are we having? I've told you no more until your bill's settled.
Dearest Mary, I can offer you security in the form of these.
Postal orders? And tell me, Mr McAloon, who is James Herriot? It would appear our dog has some spirit.
Touche, James.
Thank you.
I'm sure he'll apologise by buying a round.
I'm surprised you've got time to drink the afternoon away when Professor Gunnell has the gimlet eye on you.
I've been working on it, Professor and I think I've got the answer.
Well, why are you not writing up your report then? I'm off.
Sorry, folks.
I've got to move into my digs tonight, anyway.
What about our promised drinks? I suppose I owe you one.
I shall settle tomorrow.
I'm not falling for that one.
I've got money.
Well, I'll take these until your bill's settled.
OK, look after them it's everything I've got.
I like him.
Not a crush, I hope, on a dog.
More like a pup, really.
Hello? Hello?! Hoi, pal! Halt the racket! I'm boarding here.
With a Mrs Fraser? Is that what she was calling herself? Don't worry, you're not the first.
I've paid a deposit for a full month's rent.
Well, more fool you.
I beg your pardon? Your money's gone, pal.
She'll have drunk it by now.
James! What a surprise.
Just in time for another round.
How are your digs then, all settled in? Yes, all fine.
A bit basic, but they'll do, for now.
I hate that sound! Time for another, courtesy of young James.
I said only one drink on me.
Then I shall have to ask the lovely Mary for credit.
Are your digs nearby? Staggering distance.
My postal orders.
How much do I owe you? A crown should cover it.
Five bob!? Once you start on the malt, dear boy, you just have to have another, and another Here.
And you'll get this back when you settle your tab in cash.
Sh! Jiminy! A-ha! A-ha! Good morning.
Excuse me? Do you know where to find Mr Halliday? Tommy? Down there.
Thank you.
And have a a nice You eat up, son.
That's right.
Your mother would have wanted you to grow up to be a big, strapping lad.
Hello, Robbie.
What now? I know what's wrong with your horse, Lachie.
Robbie! What have you been saying? What matters is I can help you fix him.
How many times do I have to tell you? Look.
See? This is wrong.
It should be like this.
You're putting pressure on the wrong muscles for load-pulling.
All we require is a new harness.
Or even a second-hand one? Must be worth considering getting him one as good as new? What have we here? Gosh, that's puppy's bag.
Do you have to call him that? Wuthering Heights Middlemarch an Anthology of English Poetry oh, and underpants, of course.
You shouldn't be looking through someone's private things.
My dear chap, when you said your digs were adequate You're a bit of a fool, Herriot.
A full month's rent? Well, I'm not the fool who squandered it all on drink.
Well, you can't stay here.
You'll freeze to death.
I'm fine.
It's just a runny nose.
You can stay with us.
Us? Yes, in my aunt's house.
We'll take you there tonight.
Imagine my shock and disgust at finding in this distinguished institution a leaflet agitating for toilets for ladies.
Why is it disgusting? Don't women have to pee too? Well, there you have it the shrill, degrading voice of the campaigning woman.
Why do you hate women so much, Professor Gunnell? Miss Tyson, I'm a married man.
I would not have agreed before God a life-long union with someone I hate.
Do you treat her as your equal? Then she's no better than your slave.
She's my wife.
On present evidence, being a man's wife is a status you will never achieve.
I want my own identity.
I want to earn my own money.
I don't want to be anybody's kept woman, because we all know what they really are.
OUT! Out young lady! And never come back.
Gladly.
We're half the human race, you can't keep us down forever.
That does indeed seem a breach of college discipline.
Imagine my shock to be harangued by this WOMAN.
She tried to humiliate me in front of the other students.
I shall have a strong word with Miss Tyson.
I was hoping for a more robust response, Principal.
Robust? Never in my entire career have I felt so undermined.
I shall insist she apologises to you.
I'm afraid it's beyond apology for me, Principal.
Unless the college takes appropriate steps, I shall have no other option than to tender my resignation.
Quintin.
You above all people must understand the precarious position that the college is in.
Such an esteemed member of staff resigning The solution lies in your hands, Principal.
Good day.
He fixed him, Father! He fixed him! Professor Richie.
I've finished my report, I think you'll find the problem solved.
I must say, I'm impressed you managed to get that low life to agree to this.
I think Perhaps, Professor Richie, we may have seen the worst of Mr Halliday.
He loves his boy, and his wife died just a year ago.
He's desperate, sir, and desperation can lead a man to do cruel things.
Very insightful, Mr Herriot.
I hope Halliday appreciates what you've done for him.
How're we gonnae pay back the money, Father? At this rate, he'll be carrying double the load by the end of the week.
We'll even beat those motorised lads at their own game.
Come on, Lachie.
Back up.
Lachie, back up.
That's it.
Lachie! Come on! Move! Lachie, what's wrong? I'll get a job, Father.
I earned this from the young gentleman in only 15 minutes.
That young gentleman has led us to ruin.
Get your things together, son.
Why? Because I can't look after you any more.
The stairs are really creaky.
The old dear'll be fast asleep by now.
Cleo? (You never told me you had a dog! Get off, you stupid mutt! Cleo, darling.
Off for a midnight feast, are we? You seem to have made quite an impression.
Naughty Cleo.
We don't want you tearing the young gentleman's trousers off, do we? You are the world's best guard dog, aren't you? Auntie, this is James Herriot.
His landlord let him down and we We thought he could stay here, even if it's just for a couple of nights? Free of charge? No, no, no, I'm willing to pay.
Well, if I'm to have a new lodger, I shall have to conduct an interview.
A young man in need I'd like to say I don't bite, but often I do.
Come with me.
Recognise her? I like to think I haven't changed much? No, definitely not.
But you're seeing me fully clothed, so to speak.
One of the Glasgow Boys, before he became famous.
Very interesting.
I have only a few house rules, Mr Herriot.
One exact rental payment made on Friday evenings, no delays, no excuses.
Two any ladies you care to bring home No, I wouldn't have to be paid for.
And three should the lady of the house require assistance of any kind from her tenants, she expects it offered freely and graciously.
Shall we say two shillings a week? Seems very reasonable.
There's a room along the hall it's small, but should suit you very well.
Close to me.
Mrs Munro? Aching muscles, Mr Herriot.
I do so miss my husband's healing hands.
He died in the Great War, you know.
I'm sorry.
Still, with all your veterinary training, I'm certain you'll be able to soothe the odd twinge? Follow me.
I trust you slept well, Mr Herriot? I did.
Thank you.
This won't happen every morning but, as you're new to the establishment, please, I baked them myself.
Ignore her.
She thinks all scones are for her.
Delicious.
Should I? Although, I would say she's had her fair fill of scones.
Meaning what, exactly? She has a fine full figure on her.
She's not fat, Mr Herriot, she's pregnant.
Yorkie from number 58 keeps sniffing around her.
- Where is he? Excuse me? - Richie! You can't go in there! Richie! Mr Halliday! Explain yourself! Six pounds for that harness your useless vet made me buy, and the dray is worse than he's ever been.
What did I tell you? So what you going to do about it? I want answers! Mr Halliday, veterinary medicine isn't an exact science much as we'd like it to be.
Well, that young gentleman, Herriot, seemed very sure of himself.
Just as I said.
I'm six pounds out of pocket! I'm terribly sorry if we've made a mistake.
Sorry is not good enough! I'm going to tell everybody that you're a bunch of charlatans.
I know plenty of folk in this town, you know I do! Good morning.
Morning.
Good morning.
Morning.
Good morning, Lachie.
You poor thing.
Mr Halliday, what's happened to Lachie? You! And your bloody interfering! You can't work her in this state! What choice do I have? Where's Robbie? Where do you think? The only place that can feed him Barnhill.
The poorhouse.
Thanks to you.
I know Mr Halliday's been to see you.
I've made a complete mess of things.
You made a mistake.
We all do.
He's had to send his son to the poorhouse.
I should do something.
My advice, Mr Herriot, is that you leave well alone.
You've done enough already.
Whirly.
Are you all right? I've been suspended.
What? Well, you can't just let this happen.
What do you suggest? Another campaign? We'll sign a petition.
James no-one wants me here.
Even my father'll be delighted I've been thrown out.
Surely not? I've got four brothers, all with careers in farming.
But the only ambition my father has for me is marriage.
You should have been working on the Halliday case.
I've had enough, James.
Whirly's been suspended.
She says she's not going to fight it.
Sensible girl.
Why would she want to stay in this godforsaken institution? Aren't you going to help? She doesn't need my help.
Whirly can turn her hand to anything.
She wants to be a vet.
Something you'll never understand, you useless, selfish sod.
I just need to do a more thorough examination.
You've got two minutes.
There's no swelling I can find.
His heartbeat's fine.
And he doesn't have a temperature.
His shoes are fine, his harness is fine, he gets his regular rest and his regular feed What do you feed him? Cereal.
The best cereal you can get.
Cereal.
He eats better than we than I do.
Thank you, Mr Halliday.
So? What's wrong with him? I don't know yet.
Yet?! By the time you're sure I will be in my grave! Please, take a seat, Mr McAloon.
Don't mind if I do.
So, Principal, let me tell you where we are.
My friend, Whirly Tyson, has been summarily suspended for what I assume were her remarks to one Professor Gunnell.
She's a very strong willed girl.
And Professor Gunnell has given me an ultimatum.
Either she goes or he goes.
You know he's an old bluffer.
Who the hell is going to take Professor Gunnell Edinburgh threw him out, remember? I cannot take the risk.
You must be aware, Principal, of the king's ransom my parents pay in fees to this august institution.
And I do recall there even being talk of an endowment.
Call his bluff.
Believe me, you'll be safe.
And there's just one other thing Professor Richie, I know what's wrong with the dray horse.
I gave you clear instructions to have nothing to do with that man or his horse.
Azoturia.
From too much cereal feed on rest days.
Mr Herriot, I do believe you've diagnosed the problem.
Well done.
Now, how do we cure her? Him.
Him.
Simple he just needs complete rest for around three months.
Do you want to tell Mr Halliday he can't use his horse for three months, or shall I? What do we do? The college could consider buying the horse from Mr Halliday.
Truly? It'll be very instructive to the students to see the innards close up rather than out of a text book.
Use him for dissection? It's you who desperately wants to bring the family back together, Mr Herriot, and that will only happen if they've got money and a future.
His son he loves that horse.
Halliday will get about a month out of him if he's lucky.
But every day will be a living death.
Professor Richie, I came here to cure sick animals.
Not to kill them.
Obviously, if you go to Edinburgh, it will be our loss.
But I don't want you to feel that you'd be letting any of us down.
You know my loyalty to this place, Principal.
Indeed I do.
But I need to know what your plans are.
If you intend to resign, then I would appreciate a decision.
Now.
I shall stay at Glasgow, warts and all.
Then I shall insist Miss Tyson apologises to you.
That's the least that she can do.
I agree, but women are here to stay.
I'm glad you're so loyal to this college, Quintin, because I'm going to have to ask you to make one more sacrifice.
Cheers! Cheers, to you.
Thank you, Mary.
What's the celebration? You won't believe this Legge called me in, and he's taking me back.
That's terrific news.
How did that happen? The Principal's seen sense, apparently.
I've got to give a grovelling apology to Gunnell, apparently, but I'll do that with my fingers crossed behind my back.
The college is lucky to have you, Whirly.
Well, I'm feeling lucky this evening, so my last sixpence is going on a game of poker with the boys.
What? James! Richie wants me to kill the dray horse, even though there is a simple cure.
Whirly! Whirly?! It's Cleo, she's poorly! What's happening? I think they might be stuck.
God! Maybe we should take her to the college.
If we do she won't make it.
I need towels, warm water and soap flakes.
McAloon! Right.
Soap flakes? It's lubricant, she needs help to deliver.
James, can you help me massage Cleo's abdomen? I've learned more today than I have in the last five years.
Just beautiful.
Darling, I can't thank you enough.
All these little Cleos.
Perfect! Once you get it over with This is the worst thing I've ever had to do in my life.
Is it just me or have all men gone soft these days? 15 years ago, millions of men died in the trenches and you're making yourself ill over putting a horse out of its misery.
I know how hard this is for you, having to share an office.
Come! I'm ready, Professor.
I doubt it, Mr Herriot.
And that's a not a bad thing.
Destroying an animal is not something we should ever take lightly.
You'll be pleased to know Mr Halliday has gratefully accepted the cash offer.
It's a lifeline for him.
Is Robbie back with his father? He's being dropped off from Barnhill this morning.
Come.
Father! Robbie! I thought we didn't have any money.
We'll be all right now, son.
Thank you, Mrs McLean.
Right then.
I love you, Da.
I'm sorry, son.
Professor Richie.
Robbie, Lachie's ill.
He's very ill.
Yeah, but you can fix him? Go and see Lachie.
Why? Just do it, son.
You've done well by me.
Thank you, sir.
Position it perpendicular to the forehead.
That way he won't feel a thing.
Robbie? I've got something I need to do.
Will you go and help your father? Robbie, come and help me with this, son.
Put these tools away for me.
Aye, Father.
I'll send someone round to pick him up.
You're a liar! Robbie, I'm sorry.
I hate you! Robbie, that's enough.
You telt me you were gonnae fix him! I was wrong to tell you I could cure him, I'm sorry.
James.
I hope you continue to impress, Mr Herriot.
The horse carcass will provide much-needed surgical experience for our students.
Thank you, Professor.
I suggest you head to Danny Neal's later for a well-deserved pint of heavy.
I know I shall in due course.
James! Whirly.
It'll be easier next time.
I doubt it.
Whirly.
What's going on here? Your first victorious campaign, Miss Tyson.
Follow me.
You deserve it, Whirly.
So let's hear no more about the damned ladies' facilities.
Why can't you be more like James? Take something in life seriously for once.
A highpitched screaming female I think Gunnell had a point.
I honestly don't know why I put up with him.
Don't you recognise the signs? Tosh! There is only one chap deserves the credit for changing the Principal's mind.
I shouldn't have raised my voice in your class.
And what of your uncouth language? Your accusations of misogyny? Veritas, sir, you are a misogynist.
How you've pulled all this off, I'll never know.
But you have made an enemy of me.
Don't count on qualifying as a vet from this college.
It'll be over my dead body.
If needs must.
Darling man! How delicious to see you.
Gin and tonic? Half ten it's a little early for me.
I never notice the time.
The days just stretch forever for a lonely widow.
Perhaps the time has come to take a lover? Are are you are you going to keep them? All of them? Of course not! There's only one Cleo, darling.
Do you have a special request? You know you're rapidly becoming my favourite.
I'd be very grateful.
Although Cleo's going to hate me even more if I take one of her puppies? He hasn't been off her teat since the day he was born.
I call him Gnasher.
Gnasher.
OK.
We're going to be pals.
Good friends.
Morning, Mr Herriot.
Morning, Mr Halliday.
You're looking well, have you bought a new horse? No, I've had to move with the times.
Used that college money to learn myself up as a driver.
Got a job driving this.
I also traded in that new harness of yours.
Still two pounds down, mind.
Hello, Robbie.
I've got something for you, Robbie.
What's the meaning of this? Can we keep it? We can't afford another mouth to feed.
Professor Richie said they can thrive on some simple porridge.
And another thing they eat mice, never mind rats.
And I hear the rat catchers are paying a penny a tail.
Please, Father.
He is a fine one.
Thanks, Mister.
Thanks a lot! Well, I'll be off then.
Mr Herriot.
A dairy herd.
30 beasts.
If there's a problem, there could be money in it for us.
James Herriot, you have said the magic word.
I think blue would suit you, James.
Bring out the colour of your eyes.
I suppose you're enjoying having a laugh at my expense? Miss Tyson! You're running amok.
Apologise to Professor Gunnell immediately.
I've had a girlfriend.
That doesn't surprise me at all, James.
This socalled cure, Mr Murdoch it's got arsenic in it.
There's no poison here! You're a danger to those animals! Are you mad, man? I can't kill live, healthy animals! Mr Murdoch! Don't do it!