A League of Their Own (2022) s01e02 Episode Script

Max Chapman has been unhittable today,
but her luck might be about to change
as in steps Josh Gibson,
the homerun king.
Gibson is once again leading
the league in homeruns
for the Homestead Grays,
and hitting just about
anything thrown his way.
A thunderbolt! She's got
him blinking like a baby.
And, boy, oh, boy,
does this crowd love it.
Chapman's got the special sauce
and the fire today.
It's not every day you see the
Black Babe Ruth back on his heels.
Sorry, sweetheart.
All right, guys. Bring it in.
Hey, anybody know
who that cutie is over there?
Ha! Yeah, I know her.
Gary, I didn't know you had it in ya!
She must be deep in love.
My wife only comes to games,
and I practically have to airlift her.
But that's 'cause she hates ya ass.
Well, what can I say,
she just keeps showing up.
Here comes the kitten right now.
Hey, Maxine, I'm excited
for Guy and Clance's party
Mr. Vance. Max Chapman. Uh,
I'm a pitcher, and you need me.
Oh. Is that so?
First, your pitcher, Mr. Fowkes,
his arm isn't what it
used to be in the majors.
If I pitched practices,
he'd have time to rest it.
Also, he's developed
a tell on his curveball.
Yeah, I do not have a tell. Who is this?
Mr. Fowkes, you puff your cheeks
every time you gonna throw a curve.
Now, who the hell
does this bitch thinks
Guys. Pack it up for the day.
Oh, uh
I'm not his girl.
Gary, don't cry, I'll be your
Well, you're right about Fowkes.
I know.
I can throw a curve that looks
like a marble over the plate.
And I can do it without
sending a telegram first.
You know, a lot of these boys are going
to the Majors and the Negro Leagues.
- And the rest came from there.
- I know all about your team.
I've been coming to these
games since I was a little girl.
I'm sorry, kid.
Everybody on the team has
to have a job at the factory.
Respectfully, sir, I'm not
leaving until you see me pitch.
You'll be sleeping here then.
So, any job at the factory?
These skirts are just
I mean, how am I supposed
to squat in this?
They're gonna see my everything.
I don't think the fellas
are gonna mind too much.
I think they're cute. Peach
brings out the pink in my cheeks.
How am I going to play in a skirt?
How am I supposed
to slide out on the field?
Hey.
Hey, maybe it's just for the pictures.
Today it's for the pictures,
but you will be playing in them also.
This is bullshit.
Knock, knock, knock. Everyone decent?
This is your team's
head of operations and PR,
also nephew of the esteemed
owner of our League.
This is Mr. Alan Baker.
Just Alan. I'm my own man.
- Uh, yeah, we can't play in skirts.
- Yeah.
We're ballplayers, not Follies Girls!
Nothing against the Follies.
- This one personally loves the Follies.
- Can't get enough!
Anyway, tomorrow is your first game
against the South Bend Blue Sox.
Wait. Hold on. Tomorrow?
We haven't even practiced.
To that end, um, I have some news.
You, our Rockford Peaches, will
be coached by none other than
Okay, you can just say my name.
Former Cubs pitcher Casey Porter!
- Dove! Dove Porter!
- The King of the Forkball!
The one that killed the bird?
- Yeah, the dove, Jo.
- Oh, right.
I love a locker room.
You know, all the things people
write on the walls, little prayers
they send up to the gods,
to, please, for the love
of George Washington,
let them have their moment.
Now, the first thing
a pitcher has to learn
is how to look in someone's
eye and read them.
Are they scared? Are they
thinking about their girlfriend?
As I stand here looking at all of you,
I'll tell you what I'm seeing
That a lot of you came here
looking for your moment.
- Am I right?
- Yes, sir.
Yeah. Good.
Then I want to see fire in
those eyes. Let me see your fire.
Fire! Fire in your eyes.
Great, yeah. Fire it up!
That's right. Let me see it.
Show it to me.
Oh, light it up. Light 'em up.
That's what I'm talking about.
Now, ladies, tonight I go home to
make up our first-ever starting line-up.
So, let's go out there today and
show me why you should be on it.
Let's go!
Let's go.
- Okay
- Here we go.
All right. This is very exciting.
Let's go!
- Clickety-clack.
- Here we go.
Clickety-clack.
Hi, there.
Uh, hi, there, as well.
It's okay. What can I do you for?
I'm Carson Shaw, I'm the catcher.
I'll catch the pitches.
I'm sorry.
I'm such a big fan, this is
Okay! You're one of
my dad's favorite players.
I was just wondering if
maybe you would sign this.
Sure.
Yeah, my family doesn't
really believe this is real.
Check this out.
- Wow.
- Hang on, what's this?
- Magic.
- Yeah.
Maybe your pop will magically
come around once he reads this,
"Carson Shaw is a pro ballplayer,"
"yours truly"
Wow. Thank you.
Let me see the fire, Carson Shaw.
Any time.
I think with the mask on,
it'll work a lot better.
'Cause I was doing it.
- Uh, okay. Okay.
- I usually, uh, learn fast.
We'll get it. You'll
get it. It's your first day.
Okay. All right.
- See ya. I'm gonna go.
- All right.
Whoo!
This is something I can work with.
Whoo!
Nice rip.
Nice, nice.
- Ho.
- Hey, what's-your-name.
Wanna stop making us all look bad?
It's not my job, honey.
Here we go, Joey.
It's okay.
- Excuse me.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey.
Who taught you to throw like that?
I taught myself.
Me too.
Show me your curve.
Okay.
Hey, Carson Shaw. How about
you make your daddy proud?
Ooh! Carson already has a
new daddy? That was quick.
It was a thing you were not there for.
He's not my daddy.
Oof.
Huh?
I think I'm gonna show you my forkball.
But you are gonna have
to take an oath of secrecy.
It's just an expression,
kid, I'm not swearing you in.
Oh.
All right, now, look.
The grip is simple.
You're symmetrically just
getting in, cleaning the seams,
right where you're gonna sign
your autograph in a few years.
And then, just like a fastball
Stay in there, Shaw.
- Okay. Okay, okay.
- There you go, Shaw.
Ho-ho! Way to get a round on that, Shaw.
- See, does that makes sense?
- Yeah.
- All right, give it a shot.
- Okay. Thanks.
You bet.
Who is that gorgeous woman?
She looks just like my mother.
- That means you're rich!
- I don't like her.
Oh, I know who that is. Hey, Shaw.
"Can womanhood
survive the Rockford Peaches?"
What kind of journalism is this?
Oh, for Pete's sake! Vivienne,
will you please read it?
- He sounds like my mother.
- You do.
"First women head to the factories,
- "losing their feminine refinement"
- Oh, God.
"And now they pick up baseball
bats and fight to the death
"to see who can be the most masculine."
Come on. Fight to the death?
- That's what it says.
- That's a little far-fetched.
That just put the nail in
the coffin right there, huh?
We can't even sell out
a couple of hundred seats,
the girls, they look like truck drivers.
All this before the first game? Please.
Yeah!
Before game one.
Look like truck drivers.
Will you please stop repeating me, huh?
You sound like my brother.
Very annoying.
That's why I'm here. I know what
men want to look at. I invented that.
So, if we can get that
right, the press will follow.
That's right.
Wonderful. Thank you so much.
We cannot wait to have you here.
Great. You're welcome.
Excuse me?
Excuse me?
Hi, uh
Excuse me?
I didn't see you there.
Hi, I'm looking for a job.
I'd like an application, please.
Oh, we don't have any applications.
You must have missed
that pile of them right there.
Oh! There is. Oops.
But, you know what, we don't have a pen.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, I have a pen!
I did have a pen.
I don't anymore.
It's okay. I have my own pen.
But, you know what, we're
actually not hiring, though.
So the pen thing was wrong.
Mmm.
So then why are all these women here?
- Volunteer sewing drive.
- Ladies' lunch.
The factory is sponsoring
a ladies' lunch
for volunteers to sew.
The Roosevelt Order says if you're
doing war work you have to consider me.
Fine. I'll consider you right now.
And I will, as well.
The women here do more delicate
work than I think you could handle.
- Thanks for your interest.
- Bye, now.
Mm-hmm.
Ooh.
- Thank you so much.
- Aw, thank you. Thank you.
So, are you still giving me the
silent treatment or has that ended?
Did you get home okay last night?
I'm just trying to focus
on playing ball.
Can you please just leave me alone?
You don't want to be left alone.
Yes, I do.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Breathe in the game.
The game is the fuel.
The fuel makes the fire.
I can see you thinking, honey.
It reminds me of something
my friend Babe used to say,
"You gotta swing from the heart,
Dove, not from the head."
Babe Babe Ruth?
That's right.
Huh. Hmm.
It's kind of a lot for someone
who just played in majors
for three years, don't you think?
His arm gave out.
And maybe you should
listen to him about the heart.
Oh, yeah, maybe I should. Or maybe
I should just hit the goddamn ball.
Maybe if you could.
Maybe I will, if you
would stop talking to me.
Aw, come on, Shaw.
I need a wall back there.
I wanna be calling you flypaper.
All right, let's call it for today.
Come on, bring it around.
Bring it around. Bring it in.
Great work today, Peaches.
Give yourself some applause.
Whoo!
The world is dark. But we are
here to entertain these people
and bring them baseball,
eight to ten inches of calf,
and all the other things
that say to me "America."
Sorry. Pardon me.
Mr. D, was that it for today?
'Cause we got a game tomorrow.
I thought we were going all night.
Ladies, we have
a group activity tomorrow.
Everyone please be downstairs
at 8:00 a.m. sharp.
- Do I need to be at that?
- You do not.
- 8:00 a.m.?
- Thank you.
Listen, I know you're nervous.
It's a very big day tomorrow.
But I like an awful lot
of what I was seeing today.
And just remember,
if you don't feel ready, that's
exactly what makes you ready.
I don't know.
I'll see you tomorrow.
What?
Good night.
Carson! Telephone.
I'm sure it was so
frustrating to have to make that pie.
You never told me you had a sister.
You can't just talk to people.
Oh, my goodness, Meg! I have
so much to talk to you about.
Like how you ran away
to play baseball in Illinois?
The Williamsons saw you
at the train station.
Emily said you were sweating
and your bra was out.
Yeah, it was visible,
but, like, not on purpose.
I got caught on a fence.
Do you know how embarrassing
it is for Dad to have the entire town
gossiping about where you are?
I mean, what are they saying?
He already has to explain
why you don't have children.
All right, well
Everyone doesn't have babies
immediately after getting
married like you, Meg, so
Yeah, most people do within seven years.
I just wish Mom were here,
Carson, so you weren't my problem.
I am not a problem.
I need to get on with my day.
So I opened the mail at your house.
Charlie wrote to you.
His return is delayed.
Um, did he say why? I mean,
was there anything else in the letter?
Do you mind giving me
some privacy, please?
Sure. Here.
I think you should read
this book. You'll like it.
Carson, you know what?
Write your husband. Unless
Are you leaving him?
What? No. Did Greta
say something to you?
And, you know, what, I did write
Charlie. He knows exactly where I am.
I was inside Baker Field, Meg.
I used to I used to talk about this.
I used to dream about this.
Can't you just be happy for me?
It sounds like someone's
played a game on you, Carson.
You know what? I need
to go, I have a real life.
You know what, I'll send
you newspaper clippings,
so you can see just how real my life is.
And we know exactly what we're gonna do.
That's right.
Take the money that we
make here and we're gonna head to
- California.
- I'm gonna be in pictures.
I just hope that we actually
get a paycheck before then.
What are you talking about?
You don't think this is gonna last?
Eh, it's a little too good
to be true, don't you think?
No. I actually think this is the
exact amount of good to be true.
Okay. I wouldn't get
your hopes up, farm girl.
I get it.
Don't get too comfortable,
we're all gonna die.
There has to be a formal warning
if death is mentioned, I think.
- That's a rule, so
- Um, well
I guess, I just hope that people
actually come to our games.
I think people are gonna
come to the games.
Dove Porter is our coach.
I mean, it's gonna be great.
Has anyone actually
seen the newspaper today?
Any of you?
- Whoa.
- No.
'Cause you should. You should.
"Can womanhood
survive the Rockford Peaches?"
Hey, my arms aren't burly.
Are you trying to get in my head?
I don't know what you're
talking about, Carson.
Carson? Carson?
Yeah. You okay?
I'm worried. Like, what if
this whole thing falls apart?
Or I get cut?
I can't go home. Can't go home.
- Oh, me neither.
- Oh, but you have a husband.
I have nothing. I have a chair.
I have a gorgeous chair, but, I mean,
technically, it belongs to my parents.
It's not even my chair.
I don't know.
I feel like I'm supposed
to be here, you know?
I don't know if I've ever
felt that way before.
You think it's true?
What they wrote about us in the paper?
You know what I think is true?
We're playing professional
baseball tomorrow.
Look at this.
Mmm.
You're getting good.
Like mother, like daughter.
Not quite. Come on. Sit down.
- Here we go.
- Mm-hmm.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
You know, I didn't always
want to work at a salon either.
This place almost didn't happen.
They only gave me the loan in the
end because I have a man's name.
To this day, I think
Rockford Bank and Trust
thinks that Toni Chapman,
the owner of the finest
salon in town, is a man.
You never told me that before.
- You think I should tell them?
- Nah.
Everyone downstairs, ladies.
Very good.
Follow me into the living room.
I will take that, Mrs. Shaw. Thank you.
Everyone into the living room, ladies.
Two lines.
Oh! Maybe we died, and in heaven
they make your house a department store.
Like ladies, please, not livestock.
Miss McCready.
Ladies, please allow me to
introduce Vivienne Hughes,
of Vivienne Hughes Cosmetics. The
most expensive woman on the East Coast.
Are we getting a makeover?
She's a multi-millionaire.
We should suck up to her then!
We've got a game tonight.
- We gotta get in the right headspace.
- Shh.
Ladies, I'm here to make you
palatable for an audience.
To make you look and act like
the beautiful ladies behind me.
Georgia, you gotta stop comin' in here
already doing half
your hair. Look at this.
I just need you to do the rest.
I'm right-handed
and I can't do the other side.
You better charge
her for the whole thing!
You know I will.
- You two are something else.
- Mornin', ladies!
- Morning!
- Nice to see you back in town.
Mrs. Turner. It is been too
long. How have you been?
Busy and blessed.
Lovely to hear.
Hello, darling.
- I can set you up right over here!
- Okay.
Make yourself at home, okay?
- Okay.
- All right.
She's in early for the revival.
So you set her up, but I'll take her.
- I want to make 'em extra special.
- Okay.
All right, we'll be right with you.
Thank you.
Hey now, Lynn,
I think that dress is the same one I
saw you wear in the market yesterday?
What? The same dress two days in a row?
I'm not surprised.
Now, I could try to lie,
give you fools a line about how I ain't
got as many dresses
as the Chapman ladies,
but I won't, because I had a night.
- Ooh, well, good for you.
- What?
It's been, what, five years
since you had a night?
Oh. Mm-mmm. More like 35.
You remember that night we went
out with Bertie to the moonshine farm?
- Oh, that was a night!
- Now, that was a night!
Why you bring up my sister in here?
- Mornin', all.
- Do you not know any better?
Dang, who died?
- Hey, Clance.
- Thank God.
So, what's the plan?
Well, for my hair I was
thinking something like
You know it.
Oh, that's a good look for you. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, we could do that.
- Love that.
Why is this such a big deal? We
were at the wedding, it was lovely.
- The wedding sets you up as a couple.
- Exactly!
The housewarming sets you up
to the community.
You don't know what it means
to have your own house.
- Amen.
- Mm-hmm.
And, Clance, what is this
I hear about a crab boil?
Uh, yeah.
Guy's family said if
the crab boil wasn't perfect,
they're going straight back
to Louisiana, so
Ooh, I haven't had crab since
before the war. Y'all fancy.
Max, don't forget, we have to
pick up the crab and then to Hank's
for the phonograph
and then my periwinkle dress.
Yeah. Mmm. That does
sound like a lot to carry though.
Especially, if we wanna
protect the Lena Horne hairstyle.
Yeah, it's a lot to protect.
You can use your dad's truck.
Y'all see the way they play me?
Don't look, don't look,
don't look, don't look
- Don't Oh!
- Too late. Sorry.
You pointed it out, I wouldn't
have seen it. And I don't care.
I got a new team.
Just gotta get the job first.
It's okay. I'm gonna get my shot.
How're you gonna tell Toni that you
got another job? 'Cause I don't think
I'mma just tell her.
I don't care what she thinks.
- Let's get some crab.
- Let's do it.
- Hi, Frank.
- Hey!
Here for the crab.
You know, I've never seen
crabs in real life.
Okay, it's crab. Not crabs.
Guy's gonna be so excited.
He gets emotional over seafood.
They supposed to look like this?
Prawns? This is a crate of prawns.
Could've swore that was your
crab, but it's the only crate left.
Do you realize how important
the crab is for the night?
- It's a crab night. We need the crab.
- I understand that.
What kind of fish guy are you?
You didn't check the box?
- That's, like, your whole job.
- Mr. Beaumont was just here.
He must have your crab.
So what? I'm supposed to go
and find Mr. Beaumont now?
I can give you his address.
I don't know if you want
Or, you know, that's him right
there. With the hat. He got your crab.
Why didn't you just say that? Take that.
Wait, hold on.
- We're taking the prawn?
- Yes.
- You wanna take the prawn?
- Leave that there.
It's a lot of liquid and
Okay, we got the
address, so let's go to Mr. Beaumont's.
Okay, so time wise, it's either
the phonograph or the dress, right?
Yeah. I mean, who needs
music for a party anyway, right?
We can just sing or something.
I take it back, phonograph it is!
Uh, one second.
What? What, you see the crab?
Hey!
Here to embarrass me again?
Should I call a crowd over to watch?
You embarrassed me, letting all
those people think I was your girl.
Didn't know that was so bad.
It's not. Uh
Uh
You recruiting?
Coach Vance said I need
a job to get on the team.
Listen, Maxine, even if you hadn't made
a fool of me in front
of the entire team,
I can't help you.
They're not hiring Black women.
They just won't say it straight out
because of the Roosevelt Order.
What if you submitted me as
Max Chapman, instead of Maxine?
What happens when you
show up? It's my job on the line.
Just pretend you didn't know.
Come on, Gary! Live a little.
I thought you had my back.
I been having your back for a while now.
Maybe I should stop.
Max! I'm gonna go.
I'mma see you tonight, and we
gonna talk more about this, okay? Okay?
Sounds great!
Get your ass in the car! I'm leaving!
I'm coming. Stop!
Clance, you can't carry
them crabs by yourself!
There are five face shapes.
Only one which is naturally attractive.
So, I think today we will be
focusing on the other four.
Okay, too Semitic.
Too mysterious.
Uh, we have vampire
teeth here, that can be filed.
- Lovely brows.
- Mmm.
Hair with volume, and lovely color.
Farm hands.
- Farm face.
- Okay. I've never even been to a farm.
From today, your whole
lives, public and private,
must reflect our All-American values,
the board's approval
and my uncle's taste.
This is bullshit!
Yeah, I didn't think we'd have
to do this kind of stuff here.
It's like they want us
to hit a home run,
and then curtsy before them
with a crumpet in our hand.
- No thanks, chumps!
- They're making us into a joke.
Or keeping you from becoming one.
If you want access to their
world, this is the price of admission.
Once you're in, it's up to
you to decide what you want.
So, what did you want?
Autonomy.
I built an empire, I traveled the world.
I married a younger man.
He's kept very well,
and I keep my freedom.
You wanna glide through the room,
you wanna float into your husband
or your husband-to-be's arms.
Someday.
- You're not married yet?
- Oh, no, I'm not married.
I just got to
believe my guy's out there.
Although, I hope I hit a homer first.
Oh! Gotta go.
This is so stinkin' stupid. Do I
look like an All-American girl now?
I think you need to hold
and apply rouge.
Cool it, Shaw.
Why don't you cool it?
Stop telling me what to do.
And, curtsy.
Miss Dannely, thank you
so much, but that will be all.
I can do it how you'd like me to do it.
I don't believe you can, dear.
I'm so sorry,
dear. It's going to be all right.
There will be a train ticket
waiting for you after you've packed.
Why do you think
they're doing all this, Carson?
It's to make sure that we don't look
like a bunch of queers. Do you get that?
That's what all of this is.
Or maybe it just doesn't affect you,
Mrs. Shaw.
Miss McCready, thank you so much.
It's been a pleasure to have you here.
No, you can't.
No, Jess was helping us with our makeup,
which is why she doesn't
have her makeup on yet.
Then I suggest that
you return the favor. Now.
We're gonna help you.
And, curtsy.
All right, so we just knock on the door,
swap the prawn for the crab,
and it over, right?
Maybe we should leave the
floor prawn in the car for now.
Let's feel it out.
Feel it out. Right. Okay.
Okay.
- Hi. Is Mrs. Beau
- Shh.
mont there?
Okay.
Aunt Bee had a big heart,
and she had the best of intentions.
But when it came time for her to
help me learn how to ride that bike,
I found out that Aunt Bee didn't
know how to ride a bike either.
So, what she did
- We need to leave.
- Not without my crab.
- You know how I feel about dead people.
- Okay, just calm down!
Sorry. Do you know if
they're gonna be serving any crab later?
I mean, not for me, for her. You know,
'cause you know how
she liked her food
Probably
- I need to leave.
- No! No!
- Yes.
- Just calm down, okay?
Don't move, I'm gonna find the kitchen.
Oh. Sorry, just, uh,
looking for a tissue.
I noticed that Aunt
Bee could sometimes
be mean as a snake
Damn it! Okay. Crab, crab, crab.
Crab Crab
No! No!
- Oh, sweetheart.
- No!
I miss her too. I miss her too.
Fuck, Mrs. Beaumont.
God, we need to get that crab.
We have to go to Schwartz'.
What? No! My momma don't even go there.
Plus you know they're gonna charge
us double. We should go to Patty's,
- get your dress, and then we
- No, I'm picking the crab.
- For Guy, I'm picking the crab.
- You sure?
Mmm.
Okay.
Remember, we're allowed here by law.
You wanna remind them of that?
'Cause I don't think they got the memo.
Crab! Excuse me.
Excuse me, sir!
Uh, excuse me, sir.
Hi.
Uh, can
Excuse me, sir.
Sir.
Sir, can we Okay.
It don't matter.
It doesn't matter. It
doesn't even matter, it's fine.
It seems like it does.
You've always had Toni
making things nice for you.
You don't know what it is to have to
build a home and a name for yourself.
I just didn't want to embarrass
myself or Guy tonight.
But look at me. I don't have any crab,
so the invitations that I've
drew crab all over is stupid now,
and looks like I was showing off about
crab, they gonna think, "Oh, she's"
- I'll be right back.
- Wait, what?
- Where you
- I'll be back.
Max!
Max!
Ooh. That's a cute diner. I'm starving.
How do you know
if your shoulders are even?
They must be even enough.
You're still here.
I gotta get my mind right
to pitch tonight.
Ugh!
Oh! Oh. I have really
specific dietary restrictions,
so I have to go to the market.
But I just realized I've actually
never been alone in public before.
Do you wanna come with me?
- Um, sure. Yeah.
- Great.
Uh, we'll meet you at the ballpark.
Sir.
Sir?
I know you can hear me. I'm not leaving.
So, it's fresh tuna that
has more protein? That's the thing?
You're kidding, right?
Carson, please tell me that
you're not eating canned fish.
- Botulism can and will kill you.
- Okay.
- Hi, there.
- Hi!
Uh, half a pound of your
freshest tuna please?
Yes. And I have my ration card.
Hi. Um, we talked the other
night, I don't know if you remember.
I just wanted to clear up
anything that, um,
you might have seen
that might've felt off. Uh
I'm not gonna say anything.
I don't care.
Okay. Okay.
Miss?
Can I help you with anything?
Uh, actually, I was here first.
- Right?
- Yeah, yeah. She was here first.
What do you want?
Um, I have a order here
for one Miss Lena Horne?
Oh, my God! You did not! Oh, my God!
Be careful.
Ah!
Welcome to the All-American Girls
Professional Baseball
League's first game.
And get ready to meet the South Bend
Blue Sox and your own Rockford Peaches.
- Wow, this is happening.
- Yeah.
You three were specifically
not invited to my party. Go.
We came to the party to make
sure it's lame, and it's confirmed.
- You better shut up, Cecil.
- It's Big C.
Big C, my ass!
Now take your comics and scram.
What is that? That my Superman?
I told you not to steal my comics!
- That's my Superman!
- No. Let's go.
Remember I said I was taking it
after you got peanut butter
on my Wonder Woman.
Please.
Dumbass! Oh, God. Welcome. Hi.
Oh! Thank you. That's nice.
Put that there, I got crabs.
Guy! We're back!
Uh, okay, here I come, baby.
Hey, don't go nowhere, y'all.
I'mma get that crab
to you in just a second now.
How you doin'? Uh
Hey, baby. I was wondering
where you were. You all right, baby?
No, um No, 'cause I didn't
get the dress, and I messed up,
so it's just a mess.
And I can't talk to people like
that, so I'm gonna go dress
- All right, slow down
- No. It's okay.
Hey, hey, I got this.
Um, can you put the crab in that
pot and watch 'em? Thank you.
All right, where is it?
Now, you're already a case of lovely,
but I especially think
you look perfect
in this.
Mwah.
Look at that. Is that Lena Horne I see?
Whoa, baby, look at the speed on that!
Our starting pitcher, Lupe
Garcia, hails from Spain.
Look out, fellas. Her fastball
is as hot as her temper.
Spain goes down
a little easier than Mexico.
Caliente!
Shirley Cohen up.
In addition to swinging the bat,
she also enjoys playing
the flute and baking bread.
Strike!
Safe!
Strike three, you're out.
That's my girl!
Get it! Get it! Get it! There we go.
Just like that!
There we go! There we go!
McCready!
- That's it!
- That's how you do it, Gill.
Hustle in.
Hustle in.
I'm up.
Now, that's good baseball.
Put some wood on it, Gill.
I think I will, sir.
- Wish me luck.
- Good luck.
Thanks.
Here we go, bird.
Let's go.
Greta Gill keeps them off first
base with a "come
hither" look in her eye!
And, boys, she's single!
- She's lovely.
- Yes.
Who wants her
telephone number? I know I do.
Give it a knock.
- Viv, I owe ya.
- Hmm?
Oh, you're paying me. So much.
This is gonna work.
Strike!
Hey, honey, what's your bra size?
I like to know the players' stats!
You know, you're much prettier than
the papers make you sound.
Here we go.
Go, you got it.
Hey, if you want a date with me,
you're gonna have to shake it a little.
Strike!
You got this. Come on. Come on!
That's right, honey.
Just keep your eyes on my balls.
Strike three, you're out!
- Is he serious?
- Did he say balls?
It's okay. I can make it feel better.
Just blow me some more of those kisses.
And here
comes third baseman, Jo De Luca.
Let's go, slugger.
You got this, Joey.
Fellas, she might speak softly to you,
but she carries a big stick.
All right, De Luca.
Come on, Joey!
De Luca.
Strike!
Maybe if you
lost a few pounds, we'd at least
have something nice to look at.
Hey, maybe if you would learn
to shut your big, fat mouth
Miss Gill. No.
Foul ball by
De Luca. Count now, oh and two.
Strike three! You're out!
I think she's gonna cry!
Oh, come on, honey! Smile!
You could quit playing ball
right now, come sit on my lap!
It'll feel a lot better.
She asked for it, look at her.
We can't let
them just say this shit about us.
Yeah, make him stand up,
I'll take him out at the knees.
Yeah.
These are your customers.
And Mr. Baker can't
afford to lose any more.
So please, ladies, chins up, smiles on.
Hey, if you wanna fish for snapper,
you can't go after it like a
steelhead with sand shrimp, right?
Hey, you know what?
I'll take care of it.
Can I have a quick word?
Oh, my!
Hey, Momma.
Hi. You look good.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- And thank you, Daddy.
- Anytime, kiddo.
Hey, Ellie!
- Look at her!
- Yeah, we made that.
- We did, baby.
- Mm-hmm.
Mmm. Guy.
I haven't had a boil this good
in I don't know how long.
You put your foot in this food.
Whoo! Yes! Told ya!
You all right?
Yeah.
Just Miss Toni said it was good,
so that means it's extra good.
Means I hit a home run.
That'll do it
today for the Rockford Peaches,
who lose one to nothing.
Strong first outing from Lupe Garcia.
Maybe next time, the Peaches
will bring their bats to the park.
We looked like idiots out there.
I give us two weeks tops.
Okay, all right, we had one bad
first game. It's gonna get better.
- This is pro ball
- It was bad.
I know. It has to get
better though, right?
It was bad.
Does it?
- Excuse me.
- Hi.
Hi, I've come to pass on
a note from the board.
You're a bit too much out there,
so if you could be a little
sweeter, a little, a little less.
Of course. Mm-hmm.
Good. Hmm.
Jo, you go home.
I'll meet you guys there.
- You good?
- Yeah.
We just need a little more competition.
The girls, they need your help.
Well, I am not a magician.
Actually, I am,
but that's besides the point.
No, Casey, you're a coach.
Yeah. I was just going
to agree, you should
Hey, I came here to
get back on the map, okay?
Not to have my reputation
ruined by you with this garbage.
I'm sorry, your reputation?
Look, if you wanna go back to selling
boat insurance, please, be my guest!
I'm sorry, Nathan.
If you want the game
to be more exciting,
you have to shorten the skirts.
All right? These girls
just don't have the fire.
Mr. Porter. You were right.
Right?
It goes down easier
if you know it's a joke, right?
Hey, I was just looking for you.
I'm sorry, about before.
Uh
Would you like to dance?
Yeah.
So, you give any more thought
to what I said about the job?
You don't quit!
I promise, if it goes bad,
I'll take the fall.
I would really, really,
really appreciate it, Gary.
Fine.
I'll put your name on the list,
"Max."
Wait, that's not the only reason
you wanted to dance with me, right?
It's not the only reason.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey, um
I think I left my makeup bag
in here. I, um
Greta.
It's okay.
I really let them get to me.
It's okay to want things. I think.
I feel like whenever I really
let myself want something,
it never really goes right.
Yeah.
I know what you mean.
I just I really needed
this to be real.
Who says it's not real?
I mean, you did.
You said the league won't even
last two weeks, if we're lucky.
- You haven't unpacked anything.
- Okay.
They get to tell us how long this lasts,
and what we wear, and
what our eyebrows look like,
and they get to tell us
whether or not we can
talk back to the fucking
assholes in the stands. But
they don't get to tell us
whether or not this is real.
That's us.
Yeah.
Oh.
I like this look.
Oh, yeah?
I could've done these nails
just as good.
I prefer an after-hours appointment.