All Hail King Julien: Exiled (2017) s01e02 Episode Script

I'm okay! Check this, homeslice.
I was cold! Chapter two.
Land! We've hit land! Move, Pancho.
That song! It's calling to me.
Hello, it's me.
The Julien formerly known as King Julien.
I'm here.
Where's it coming from? I think it's coming from over there.
Wow! Are you sure we should be following a group of strange lemur ladies into the jungle? Hmm, let me think about that.
Yeah! Of course, we should! Did you hear the part about food and hammocks? Chop-chop, Ted.
Move the tushy.
This is good.
We have a plan.
We're going to see your guru, get the world's most powerful weapon, and then use it to defeat Koto.
I like this plan.
So, how much longer till we get there? At this rate? I don't know.
- Maybe 10-15 years.
- Years? Yes.
My guru lives atop a very high mountain.
Like, really high.
To get there, we'll need to cross 15 raging rivers, three of the world's driest deserts and 8000 miles of open ocean, which is, of course, shark infested.
It's not a bad swim, actually.
Um, maybe we could just fly there? Oh, yeah, flying would make it a lot easier.
Wish I had thought of that.
I've spent 20 years of my life traveling there and back.
Huh.
Okay, no problem.
Just call your hawk and let's go.
Huh? What's wrong? Do the thing.
You know, the thing when you The Hawk Call.
Do it! I can't.
What do you mean you can't? Why not? I have to get King Julien's kingdom back.
I have to, Sage.
and I are no longer partners in each other's spiritual progress.
What? Why? We We grew apart.
Who puts an empty mealworm carton back in the pantry? Just throw it away.
Is that so hard? What did I say this time? Can't you just tell me? Oh, the silent treatment.
So original! I'm going out with friends, okay? Yeah, there might be other hawks there, but I'm pair-bonded with you.
So, we're stuck with each other, okay! So much drama.
And now, we're no longer on screeching terms.
Your hawk's gone? Like gone-gone? Like a sweet aroma snatched from the sky by a selfish wind.
Okay, then we just need to get another hawk to fly us to your guru.
How do we get another hawk? In my tribe there is an ancient ritual.
In order to become one with the hawk, you must witness its birth, making your two souls into one.
I remember the birth of my hawk.
This is it! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Seriously? You're telling me you actually birthed a baby hawk? No, that would be biologically impossible and also gross.
This is it! Hmm-mm.
Beans.
Son! Come on, Sage.
Let's go get us a hawk egg.
We must hurry.
Hatching season is almost over.
You need an unhatched egg for this to work.
Ow, ow, ow.
Whoa! King Koto, I have This is the best part.
Watch.
Comedic genius, right there! Hmm.
Huh? Oh.
Funny.
Again! King Koto, could I try some of my new material? Here's a taste.
So, I recently tried speed dating.
Anybody else ever do that? Boo! Do your regular act.
Wait, wait.
How about ring-tailed lemurs be dancing like this.
But mouse lemurs, they be dancing like Silence! You will do it again exactly as before.
That is the secret of comedy.
Repeating the exact same thing over and over and over again.
- But - Now, jester! Yes, King Koto.
No, thank you.
More for me.
Is it me or does food taste better on this island? Oh, yeah.
It is pretty good.
Shame we'll have to leave soon.
Leave? Are you kidding? This place is paradise, man.
No one ain't going nowhere.
After what I've been through, I deserve this.
Food coma, y'all.
What-what! What.
Ah, what.
What.
Is it me or are they being a little bit too nice to us? Hello, that's what I've been saying.
Guys, stop being so negative.
These very musically-inclined lemur ladies are clearly just doing something nice for us out of the kindness of their hearts.
- We should be grateful.
- But what about the kingdom? Bup-bup! I thought we agreed we weren't gonna mention the "K" word.
- But - Maurice, no! I've been through an ordeal, and I'm not ready to enter the action phase.
I need to spend some time in the relax-ion phase.
Don't you think I've earned a little pampering after having my kingdom stolen from me? Oh, yeah.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, that is so Don't be afraid to use your elbow.
It's a little Yeah, really good.
Left side.
Lots of tension.
What about your people? They need you.
Oh! I can't help them.
No, don't stop.
Going back would be a suicide mission, Maurice.
They're on their own.
Ah - You're wrong.
You can help.
- That's it! Ah.
Go! Go now! Go where? Away from my face.
Come back when you're ready to board the express train to Happyville.
King Julien! Toot! Toot! All aboard! I hope your name's not Maurice.
Fine! How 'bout you come find me when you're ready to make an unscheduled stop at Responsibility Station! That's not even a real place.
Even if it were real, no one would want to go there.
Why don't you choke on one of your toenails? We did it.
We made it before the eggs hatched.
No, we're too late.
We didn't witness their birth.
They've already bonded with the mother.
What? No! We can still bond with one of the hawks.
You cannot perform the ritual birthing process.
You will never know the joys of motherhood.
I weep for your loss and for my own.
I can never replace.
Oh! That one looks like.
Next.
Next.
Next.
That bowl looks dirty, Mort.
How about I get you a new one? No, thanks.
I just cleaned it.
Hey, give that back.
Don't worry.
You'll find you like this one better.
I hope you're hungry.
Clink, clink.
Koto had me doing pratfalls all day again, and I lost my appetite on account of a rib going through my stomach and stuff.
But you really should make sure you eat it up.
Get big and strong.
Clink, clink.
Um, something wrong with your eye? It's fine.
Look in your bowl.
What's this? Enjoy.
Now move along, intern.
Next.
Did anyone see you? I don't think so.
Okay, we have to be quick.
I've taken it upon myself to start a resistance movement, and I need your help, Mort.
You need to find out what's really going on here.
In the toilet? No, in the kingdom.
Me? How? As Koto's jester, you're with him all day long.
You have access to his inner circle.
Information is power, Mort.
But with the right information, you could find a way to help King Julien get his kingdom back.
- No, King Julien! Mm - Yes, Mort.
Now, go! I have another toilet meeting in a few minutes, and I need to change the potpourri.
Toot, toot! Toot, toot! Go, toot, toot! Excuse me for being the voice of reason.
Someone's gotta be responsible What the Oh, no! I've gotta tell King Julien.
This is my Stop blabbering, Sage.
Did you just kiss me? Not the time, Clover.
And you might wanna shave.
What? No, I slapped you.
I will not fail King Julien.
You said we need a hawk, so we're stealing a hawk.
Oh.
She is very angry.
Wait, Sage, that's it.
You speak Hawk.
Yes, it took me years to master the language's rich inflectional system.
Great.
Use your rich infection to tell the hawk mom why we need one of her babies.
- What did she say? - She told me I could take one.
She clearly did not say I could take one.
My bad.
Let's go! Nurse Phantom? What do you have for me? Get this.
Koto likes his eggs over easy, and his favorite color is red.
Green's a close, followed by blue which is my favorite.
- Mort! - Good, huh? No! All of this information is useless.
It doesn't matter what Koto's favorite color is.
- It doesn't? - No! Think, Mort.
I have to go.
I'm expecting a package I need to sign for.
Get us some information we can use.
Hmm.
Oh.
Um, sorry to bother you, King Julien, but Maurice is gone.
I can't find him anywhere.
He's probably just off sulking somewhere.
Don't worry.
This is paradise.
Nothing bad can happen here.
I mean, look at my hands.
Well, they do look fabulous, but I don't know.
Maurice has been gone a long time.
Well, Teddy, looks like you're gonna have to go find Maurice yourself.
You'll need your strength to carry us.
Eat those maggots.
Now, maggot! You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
And you catch even more with a quality name brand fly bait.
Nobody asked you, Sage.
Look, you stupid bird.
We're running out of time.
Eat! You must be nurturing if you ever hope to earn this bird's respect and loyalty.
Oh, what a load of old tosh.
Like, this bird even understands what I'm saying.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! He understands.
We tried to do this the easy way, but no more Mrs.
Nice Guy.
Put on the stinking saddle.
Do we understand each other? Put on the saddle.
Put on the saddle.
Come here.
I said You're really bad at this.
Shut it! I have a status report on your statue, King Koto.
Yes.
Ah, when will it be finished? If everything goes as planned, the unpaid interns should complete it in one week.
Excellent news.
Not only will I have a giant tribute to myself, But I can finally get rid of the interns.
All of them, sir? Yes, all of them.
There's no point in keeping them around once they've served their purpose.
Sir, do you think it's a good idea to discuss these matters in front of that.
Hmm.
Oh, relax, Captain.
My jester's clearly an imbecile.
I doubt he understands where he is.
Oh, we understand.
We understand everything.
Maurice! Oh, Maurice, where are you? Hello? Oh, great! And now, I'm lost.
Could this day get any worse? Okay, open your eyes.
Ta-da! You said I couldn't tame this bird, but watch this.
Sit! Roll over! Solve this rudimentary algebra equation! Sign your work! Now, fly us to Sage's guru, so we can save our friends.
Well, Sage, I did it.
I broke this beast.
Destroyed its spirit.
I own this bird.
You were wrong.
The aggression approach works.
Ta-ta! Yes, you have frightened this adorable baby bird, but you haven't earned his love.
He'll always miss his mother.
What? No, no, stop that.
I know what you're doing.
You're trying to make me feel guilty for taking you from your family.
Well, it won't work, 'cause I am a hardened warrior on an important mission.
No, it won't work, 'cause I see right through your sweet, innocent eyes, so full of hope for the future that you'll never have.
Oh.
Oh, dear.
I'm a monster! What have I done? Go on.
Be free.
I'm not going to ruin another family just to save my own.
Go.
Go get 'em.
Fly.
That's it.
Yeah, there you go.
Call me.
We'll have to find another way, Sage.
That was way cool of you.
Tell that to all of Koto's prisoners.
There is strength in an action.
You did not allow your rage and desire for revenge to control you.
That is true power.
That may be.
How are we gonna get to your guru now? My man-hawk.
I'm so sorry.
I've been a jerk and a hater.
Forgive me.
Forgive me! Should I I'll just leave you two alone.
Yeah, I'm just gonna be right over there.
Wait! heard of your kind act and he has returned.
Wow, news sure travels fast in the hawk world.
Yes, they're a very gossipy species.
What? You know it's true.
He has offered to take us to my guru's mountain.
- Really? Oh, that's great.
- Thank you s Nurse Phantom? Nurse? Keep it down, Mort.
Someone could hear you.
Oh, sorry.
But I have serious news.
As soon as we finish building Koto's statue for him, he is going to kill us all.
Good work, Mort.
We have to warn everyone.
No, it's okay, turn me over.
Let me out! - Ah! Ah.
Eh.
- Let me out! Let me out! What's going on? Why are we in a cage? King Julien, there's a cave, and bones and Who's that? Oh, boy.
The piper's calling you to join him.
Crimson.
Oh, snuggle bear, how sweet.
You remember me.
Uh, yeah, I remember you.
You tried to kill me multiple ti Hold up.
You live here? That's right.
With my girls.
Great.
So could one of your girls maybe let us out of this cage? Aw, no can do, Ju-Jubear.
What? Why? What did we do? It's Pancho, right? He's got that weird, coffee-breath even when he hasn't had coffee.
It's hot like his breath is hotter than normal.
I don't really know how else to explain it.
What? Oh, yeah.
Hmm.
No, it's not that.
I'm not sure what the problem is.
How about we go to the part where we were having fun and getting mani-pedis, eating lots of food.
Huh? What do you say? Oh, you didn't think we were feeding you just to be nice, did you? Uh, yeah, actually I kinda did, yeah.
Oh, Julien, no.
We've been feeding you to fatten you up.
Fatten us up? For what? Winter? Does it get very cold here? Oh, no, silly.
Fatten you up to be fed to the giant tentacle beast that lives on this island.
That's what I was trying to tell you.
There's a giant tentacle beast on this island? Uh-huh, that's right.
Giant.
Huge, in fact.
And very, very hungry.
Me and my girls make sure he gets fed.
What do you think, girls? Have we fattened him up enough yet? And, mm, you know what, Julien? - What? - Since we have a long history, I think I'll feed you to the tentacle first.
Well, that's nice.
That's so messed up.
Pancho should get eaten first.
What? Whoa.
Hey.