American Woman (2018) s01e02 Episode Script
Changes and the New Normal
1 Previously on American Woman I feel like you women have it pretty good.
There are not a lot of options out there for us.
Believe me.
I know.
He's so sweet and attentive.
But there's just no spark.
Sometimes I think I might not be his type.
You don't smell like you.
Yeah, I thought I'd try something new.
Your life is never gonna be the same without me.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
I have a warrant for the arrest of Steve Nolan.
But Mr.
Nolan doesn't live here anymore.
This is my house now.
[ALARM BUZZING.]
[ALARM SILENCES.]
Ugh [DISTANT DOGS BARKING.]
["SILVER THREADS AND GOLDEN NEEDLES" PLAYS.]
I don't want your lonely mansion With a tear in every room All I want's the love you promised Beneath the halo moon But you think I should be happy With your money and your name And hide myself in sorrow While you play your cheating game Silver threads and golden needles Cannot win This heart of mine How long have you and Mr.
Nolan been married, Mrs.
Nolan? Um, almost 16 years.
And is it your intent to file for divorce? I don't know.
I don't even know why he was arrested.
Well, according to the complaint, your husband has been charged with two counts of fraud for selling nonexistent beachfront lots in Florida for a company called, uh, "Vera Cruz Estates.
" Does that mean anything to you? No.
Vera Cruz Estates is a fictitious holding company for several thousand acres of worthless swampland.
So it appears your husband was involved in a pyramid scheme.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what that is.
Uh, that's an illegal investment scam.
[VOICE FADING.]
And that's why you now find yourself in this situation that you are now in.
I'm not even sure if there is a way out.
[DRAMATIC TONE.]
[DISTORTED.]
Mrs.
Nolan [NORMAL VOICE.]
Mrs.
Nolan? Sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but you're bankrupt.
The only asset you have left is the house.
Your husband put it in your name, probably to protect it from creditors, but the mortgage hasn't been paid for four months, and the bank intends to start foreclosure in the next 30 days.
[UPBEAT FUNK MUSIC.]
I should have been more involved with our finances.
I don't even have a checking account, because Steve said I couldn't handle money.
Is there no money left? $126 in our joint checking account.
I took it out so Steven couldn't spend it on his girlfriend.
Ugh, men.
They're built to cheat.
Every time they take their pants off, they see that one-eyed monster hanging there, just begging them to get in trouble.
There's a visual I could have lived without.
I have to figure out a way to pay off the mortgage.
Oh, my God! I'm so stupid.
I'll write a check for your mortgage.
What? No, I can't take money from you.
I'm happy to do it.
Kathleen, that's very generous, but that would just be a Band-Aid.
I need to figure out a solution for the long-term.
Plus, money has a way of messing up relationships.
Not so fast.
- I'll take a check.
- What? I have no problem taking money from friends.
You can make mine out to cash.
[LAUGHS.]
You're funny.
[CHILDREN PLAYING IN DISTANCE.]
Becca? - Jessica! - Ready, set, go! [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
Splashy, splashy! Don't pull up Hey, Daddy, watch me! I didn't mean to hurt you.
Then why did you? I don't know.
Now, I know that's not a good enough answer.
But I want my life back.
I want to be with you and the girls.
Besides, you can't raise them on your own.
What are you going to do for money? Thought I'd dabble in Florida real estate.
If we do this together, we can make it work.
I know we can.
The girls miss you.
Yeah.
I miss them.
[GIRLS PLAYING DISTANTLY.]
And I I don't want to lose any more time.
I couldn't even believe how much Jess had grown in two weeks.
You know, it feels like yesterday when she was born.
Do you remember that cocktail party we had for the Bensons? When you told me you were pregnant? Of course, I remember.
I thought you were going to fall over.
Yeah.
Well, the doctor said we probably couldn't have one.
I mean, we were both just so over the moon.
[DISTANT.]
Here, Jess Yeah.
Well, it's been a rough road lately.
But it wasn't all bad, was it? No.
It wasn't.
I miss you.
I want you to give me another chance.
We had a good life and we can put it back together.
Oh, and I [SIGHS.]
I have this court date coming up.
And I want you there.
- In court? - Yeah.
I've never been in trouble before, and my lawyer thinks, you know, judge will go easy on me.
Especially if he sees that I'm a family guy.
I see.
Yeah.
Well, I might not have to go to jail.
Maybe just you know, probation, fine.
I'm not going to court with you.
You should leave.
Wait, you're mad at me because I need your help? [ROCK MUSIC.]
Say something.
You always need me to do something, Steven.
That's what our whole marriage was about.
You needed me to do something.
You needed me to take care of the girls or make small talk with other wives at business dinners, but when did you stop needing me? - Steven? Just me? - Well, I do need you - I do need you.
- No, you don't.
Don't lie.
Why don't you have any goddamn gratitude? This life that you have: I gave it to you.
All of it.
You know, when we were together, you never had to worry about anything.
Maybe that was the problem.
[TELEPHONE RINGING DISTANTLY.]
Shit.
What's the matter? There are no signatures on these loan documents.
- Shit.
- Huh? I didn't notice that.
What about the bird? Did the bird notice anything? [INDISTINCT TALKING.]
[KNOCKING.]
Mr.
Bishop? I was gonna send these loan documents downtown, but then I noticed that they didn't have any signatures.
Oh.
These are for Arnold Taper.
Don't worry about it.
It's not a problem.
I've known Arnold for 15 years.
I'll just give him a call and have him come by.
Back then, we didn't have half this paperwork.
We'd give loans on a handshake.
Gentleman's agreement.
When a man's word meant something.
Something else? I heard that Craig Barron is moving to Arizona next month.
He is.
Well, I'd like to be considered for his position.
Of senior loan officer? Yes.
Jeff is interested in the position.
I've been here almost a year and a half longer.
Mm-hmm.
And I have more experience in the loan department than Jeff does.
Look, here's the problem single gals like you never consider, Diana.
You don't have a family to support.
Jeff has a wife and two children.
And I take care of my mother.
So I also have a family to support.
All right, fine.
I'll consider you.
May I have your word on that? A gentleman's agreement? [THE MINITS' "IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY APPLES".]
Thank you.
If you don't like my apples, honey Don't you shake my tree Honey.
Honey, do you think this is a good idea? Oh, this? Mm.
Um, yeah.
A great idea.
Oh, honey, listen to me.
Tomorrow is going to be huge.
It's our first day.
I just [SIGHS.]
I think I'm a little nervous.
So I think I think we should get a good night's sleep.
Don't you? Yes.
I mean, I guess so.
We are going to set this town on fire.
You'll see.
Good night.
Good night.
What's wrong? Does it bother you that I have money and you don't? What? Bonnie said that money sometimes can mess up a relationship, and I'm starting to think that she might be right.
Oh, my God, no.
Not at all.
Baby, that has nothing to do with it.
I want to feel close to you.
I [SIGHS.]
And our sex life is well, it's a little lacking.
[SIGHS.]
Baby, I'm sorry.
Let's just let's get through our first day.
Once we get that under our belt, I'm sure that all this anxiety I'm having is going to go away.
- Think so? - I know it.
Set this town on fire? [TENNIS' "LADIES DON'T PLAY GUITAR".]
Good night.
Ladies just need your love Don't you know we are all caught up in it Baby, I've been listening I can be the archetype Of whatever you're feeling What you're feeling [TYPEWRITER DINGS.]
[ROCK MUSIC.]
I think Melissa's mom was talking to Angela's mom about you.
Angela's mom needs to worry about Angela.
That girl is strange.
I'm gonna drop you off at the house to do your homework.
Where are you going? I have to go shopping with your aunties.
Aunt Diana got me an appointment tomorrow with a wonderful employment agency.
- So I need to get a suit.
- Are you gonna work? Yes, I am.
What do you know how to do? I'm not really sure yet, sweetie.
Then how are you gonna get a job? I'm gonna buy a goddamn great suit, do my hair, wear my highest heels, and fake it! [GIGGLES.]
You know what you need? Palazzo pants.
What I need is something cheap that says, "This woman may have no work experience, but she's gonna be fantastic.
" You must have some work experience.
I worked at Dairy Queen when I was in high school.
- Oh, I love Dairy Queen.
- You do? - Yeah.
- Ice cream, right? Mm-hmm.
We need to find you something by Yves Saint Laurent.
Uh, Yves Saint Laurent isn't cheap.
Yeah, but she'll wear it forever.
Oh, look.
This is nice.
At these prices, I'd have to wear it forever.
Oh, look.
They're hiring here.
I can't work at the May Company.
Everyone we know shops here.
It would be humiliating.
[PIANO MUZAK PLAYING.]
Hi.
What do you think? Have you never been on a job interview before? No.
Well, unless the job involves tassels, it's probably not appropriate.
A suit isn't gonna fix Bonnie's problems.
She needs a new man.
A man who's not in danger of being incarcerated.
She needs a rich benefactor.
Like a sugar daddy? No, makes it sound so tawdry.
It can be a win-win situation where everyone gets what they want.
I could take her down to the Palm.
It's crawling with rich middle-aged divorcees and widowers.
Depending on a man is how Bonnie got in trouble in the first place.
She's not like you.
She's only had a year of college and no real skills.
Her beauty is her biggest asset.
Better? Yeah What? No.
You know, work can be rewarding.
And it's great for your self-esteem.
Is that why you drink a bottle of chardonnay every night and complain about that sexist Mr.
Bishop and that you're going nowhere in your job? No.
Sometimes I prefer sauvignon blanc.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
I'm just trying to help Bonnie play to her strengths.
- What do you think? - Oh.
I'd hire you.
Very professional.
It feels right.
I think even my ass looks smarter in this suit.
[CHUCKLES.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[DISTANT PHONE RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
Mrs.
Nolan? I realize it's a little thin.
Twiggy is thin.
This résumé is nonexistent.
Your last job was working as a transportation supervisor? What exactly did that entail? Driving my kids to school.
And back from school.
Unless they take the bus.
That probably doesn't count, does it? Not really.
I was hoping that all my years of being a wife and mother would have some sort of relevance in the business world.
It doesn't have any relevance, does it? Not really.
Is there something you think might be right for me? - Do you type? - Of course.
You're attractive, that's definitely a quality men look for in an executive assistant.
Do you have nice legs under there? Don't hide them anything that can make you stand out in the secretarial pool is definitely a bonus.
God knows your résumé won't do it.
[SIGHS.]
Don't mention your kids in an interview.
A lot of people are nervous about hiring women with children.
- They are? - They feel like your focus wouldn't be on the job or that you'd have to leave work because one of your kids was sick.
Oh, don't worry.
I don't allow my children to be sick.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
I left some folders on my desk.
Make sure you photocopy them before you leave.
[UPLIFTING ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Okay, Eric, so this is for a soap opera, so dialogue is a little over the top, but that's what those lonely housewives want, so have fun with it.
- Got it.
- Ready? "It's over, Michael.
I can't live like this.
It's all a lie.
" "You're wrong.
It's not a lie.
"When we kiss and your soft, warm lips meet mine, "that's not a lie.
"When my hand touches your perfect body, "softly, barely there, yet impossible to ignore, "that's not a lie.
"When we're together in our bed, "the ecstasy of our love, so passionate "it might consume us, that's not a lie.
"Because I can feel it all now.
Here.
"As real as I can feel my own body, "flesh, bone, blood, and the heart that pumps it.
"And that heart is not a lie, because it beats for you.
" That's it.
What? Oh, is it? Oh, it is.
What did you think? Would you like me to try something different? Hmm? No.
Will you excuse me for a minute? That was terrific.
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh Kathleen.
Greg, what's wrong? You all right? Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh [WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH.]
Hey.
[LAUGHS.]
[DOORBELL CHIMING.]
Becca.
[DOOR OPENS, SHUTS.]
Hello? Bonnie? Your daughter let me in.
I brought you my world-famous quiche.
I thought you could use some home cooking.
Thank you.
That's very sweet.
Isn't that what you brought to Mrs.
Watchouski's wake? It's the only dish I really know how to make.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
How have you been? Great.
Really? Well, I'm trying.
Oh, Steve.
I mean, God what a double whammy.
Well, the real estate world is small.
My brokerage works closely with Steve's.
I'm fine, Sherry.
I know that when I found out that my David was having an affair with that tacky bitch Trudy Nelson, oh, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.
You know, this house is amazing.
Three bedrooms, a pool, and is that an Amana stove? Oh, I could get you a great price for this place.
Have you decided when you want to put it on the market? I'm not selling the house.
It's worth considering.
The interest rates are very low.
I don't care what the interest rates are.
I'm not tearing my children away from their friends and their school.
But it's a seller's market right now.
Are you really giving me the hard sell now? It's important to strike while the iron, or in this case the market, is hot.
Thank you so much for stopping by, Sherry.
I'm gonna give you a 30-second head start before I shove that quiche up your ass.
Mom! Mom.
There's a man stealing our car! [BEEPING.]
What do you think you're doing? Think I'm repossessing your car.
You got to pay your bills, lady.
I've tried calling you over and over again.
Now fix it right this time! - Hi.
- Hi.
Come on, girls.
My card.
For when you're ready.
[ENGINE TURNS OVER.]
[FUNKY MUSIC.]
- Mom? - Honey.
- Why are you awake? - I'm scared.
I had a bad dream.
Oh, there's nothing to be scared of, baby.
When I used to have bad dreams, Daddy checked in the closet and under the bed to make sure there weren't any monsters.
I can come and check for you.
It's not the same.
No.
It isn't, is it? Why are you cleaning the pool? Because it's green.
And we don't have a pool boy anymore, so now Mommy has to do it.
And you can't tell anyone, okay? Why? I just don't want people to know that anything has changed.
It's none of their business.
Things have changed, haven't they? I suppose they have.
Are we poor now? No.
Why would you say that? Becca says we're poor.
She said that poor people can't stay in their house.
They have to leave.
[THE FACES' "OOH LA LA".]
Are we gonna have to leave, Mom? No.
We're not gonna leave, baby.
I promise.
Come here.
Poor old Granddad I laughed at all his words I thought he was a bitter man He spoke of women's ways They'll trap you then they use you Before you even know For love is blind and you're far too kind Don't ever let it show I wish that I knew what I know now When I was younger I wish that I knew what I know now Doesn't look like you have any prior retail experience.
I have years of experience with high-end retail, just from the perspective of an avid shopper.
And who better to sell to rich housewives than someone who used to be one? Someone with retail experience? Look, I can't type, and my résumé is starving, but I know I can do this job.
I'm smart and determined, and if you give me a chance, I promise you I will be the hardest worker you have.
I also have dozens of rich friends who can be blackmailed into not shopping at Neiman Marcus.
I wish that I knew what I know now What's this? Just a little gift we picked out for you.
Go ahead.
Open it.
I wish that I knew what I know now Oh, my.
It's beautiful.
Look, how sweet.
I could put the girls' pictures in there.
We were actually thinking our pictures.
But that works, too, I guess.
[ALL LAUGH.]
I think things are changing for the better.
To changes.
BOTH: Changes.
Thank you very much.
You're gonna look fabulous in the Oscar de la Renta.
Two hours in, and you're a pro.
- I speak designer fluently.
- Ooh.
- Bonnie.
- I'm Louise.
How long have you worked here? [SIGHS.]
Long enough to learn some tricks to stop me from drinking the perfume by the end of the day.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you don't look like the kind of woman who works in a department store.
Oh, what do I look like? Like a woman who shops in a department store.
I used to be, but I'm on sabbatical.
[LAUGHS.]
Are you okay? Yes, I I just see someone I know.
Oh.
I think it's time for your coffee break.
Why don't you head back and get a cup while I wait on her? Louise, um I'll wait on her.
Thank you, though.
Are you sure you want to? No.
But I can't keep hiding forever.
Hmm.
- Bonnie.
- Hello.
You have such good taste.
Do you mind if I ask your opinion? What do you think of these? They're very cute.
What are you, about a size seven? I'll go in the back and see if we have them.
Go in the back? Yes, I work here now.
What? Is this a joke? No.
Oh, my God.
Don't worry.
I won't tell anyone.
Oh, honey.
Of course you will.
I'll be right back with those shoes.
[THE FACES' "OOH LA LA".]
I wish that I knew what I know now When I was stronger
There are not a lot of options out there for us.
Believe me.
I know.
He's so sweet and attentive.
But there's just no spark.
Sometimes I think I might not be his type.
You don't smell like you.
Yeah, I thought I'd try something new.
Your life is never gonna be the same without me.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
I have a warrant for the arrest of Steve Nolan.
But Mr.
Nolan doesn't live here anymore.
This is my house now.
[ALARM BUZZING.]
[ALARM SILENCES.]
Ugh [DISTANT DOGS BARKING.]
["SILVER THREADS AND GOLDEN NEEDLES" PLAYS.]
I don't want your lonely mansion With a tear in every room All I want's the love you promised Beneath the halo moon But you think I should be happy With your money and your name And hide myself in sorrow While you play your cheating game Silver threads and golden needles Cannot win This heart of mine How long have you and Mr.
Nolan been married, Mrs.
Nolan? Um, almost 16 years.
And is it your intent to file for divorce? I don't know.
I don't even know why he was arrested.
Well, according to the complaint, your husband has been charged with two counts of fraud for selling nonexistent beachfront lots in Florida for a company called, uh, "Vera Cruz Estates.
" Does that mean anything to you? No.
Vera Cruz Estates is a fictitious holding company for several thousand acres of worthless swampland.
So it appears your husband was involved in a pyramid scheme.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what that is.
Uh, that's an illegal investment scam.
[VOICE FADING.]
And that's why you now find yourself in this situation that you are now in.
I'm not even sure if there is a way out.
[DRAMATIC TONE.]
[DISTORTED.]
Mrs.
Nolan [NORMAL VOICE.]
Mrs.
Nolan? Sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but you're bankrupt.
The only asset you have left is the house.
Your husband put it in your name, probably to protect it from creditors, but the mortgage hasn't been paid for four months, and the bank intends to start foreclosure in the next 30 days.
[UPBEAT FUNK MUSIC.]
I should have been more involved with our finances.
I don't even have a checking account, because Steve said I couldn't handle money.
Is there no money left? $126 in our joint checking account.
I took it out so Steven couldn't spend it on his girlfriend.
Ugh, men.
They're built to cheat.
Every time they take their pants off, they see that one-eyed monster hanging there, just begging them to get in trouble.
There's a visual I could have lived without.
I have to figure out a way to pay off the mortgage.
Oh, my God! I'm so stupid.
I'll write a check for your mortgage.
What? No, I can't take money from you.
I'm happy to do it.
Kathleen, that's very generous, but that would just be a Band-Aid.
I need to figure out a solution for the long-term.
Plus, money has a way of messing up relationships.
Not so fast.
- I'll take a check.
- What? I have no problem taking money from friends.
You can make mine out to cash.
[LAUGHS.]
You're funny.
[CHILDREN PLAYING IN DISTANCE.]
Becca? - Jessica! - Ready, set, go! [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
Splashy, splashy! Don't pull up Hey, Daddy, watch me! I didn't mean to hurt you.
Then why did you? I don't know.
Now, I know that's not a good enough answer.
But I want my life back.
I want to be with you and the girls.
Besides, you can't raise them on your own.
What are you going to do for money? Thought I'd dabble in Florida real estate.
If we do this together, we can make it work.
I know we can.
The girls miss you.
Yeah.
I miss them.
[GIRLS PLAYING DISTANTLY.]
And I I don't want to lose any more time.
I couldn't even believe how much Jess had grown in two weeks.
You know, it feels like yesterday when she was born.
Do you remember that cocktail party we had for the Bensons? When you told me you were pregnant? Of course, I remember.
I thought you were going to fall over.
Yeah.
Well, the doctor said we probably couldn't have one.
I mean, we were both just so over the moon.
[DISTANT.]
Here, Jess Yeah.
Well, it's been a rough road lately.
But it wasn't all bad, was it? No.
It wasn't.
I miss you.
I want you to give me another chance.
We had a good life and we can put it back together.
Oh, and I [SIGHS.]
I have this court date coming up.
And I want you there.
- In court? - Yeah.
I've never been in trouble before, and my lawyer thinks, you know, judge will go easy on me.
Especially if he sees that I'm a family guy.
I see.
Yeah.
Well, I might not have to go to jail.
Maybe just you know, probation, fine.
I'm not going to court with you.
You should leave.
Wait, you're mad at me because I need your help? [ROCK MUSIC.]
Say something.
You always need me to do something, Steven.
That's what our whole marriage was about.
You needed me to do something.
You needed me to take care of the girls or make small talk with other wives at business dinners, but when did you stop needing me? - Steven? Just me? - Well, I do need you - I do need you.
- No, you don't.
Don't lie.
Why don't you have any goddamn gratitude? This life that you have: I gave it to you.
All of it.
You know, when we were together, you never had to worry about anything.
Maybe that was the problem.
[TELEPHONE RINGING DISTANTLY.]
Shit.
What's the matter? There are no signatures on these loan documents.
- Shit.
- Huh? I didn't notice that.
What about the bird? Did the bird notice anything? [INDISTINCT TALKING.]
[KNOCKING.]
Mr.
Bishop? I was gonna send these loan documents downtown, but then I noticed that they didn't have any signatures.
Oh.
These are for Arnold Taper.
Don't worry about it.
It's not a problem.
I've known Arnold for 15 years.
I'll just give him a call and have him come by.
Back then, we didn't have half this paperwork.
We'd give loans on a handshake.
Gentleman's agreement.
When a man's word meant something.
Something else? I heard that Craig Barron is moving to Arizona next month.
He is.
Well, I'd like to be considered for his position.
Of senior loan officer? Yes.
Jeff is interested in the position.
I've been here almost a year and a half longer.
Mm-hmm.
And I have more experience in the loan department than Jeff does.
Look, here's the problem single gals like you never consider, Diana.
You don't have a family to support.
Jeff has a wife and two children.
And I take care of my mother.
So I also have a family to support.
All right, fine.
I'll consider you.
May I have your word on that? A gentleman's agreement? [THE MINITS' "IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY APPLES".]
Thank you.
If you don't like my apples, honey Don't you shake my tree Honey.
Honey, do you think this is a good idea? Oh, this? Mm.
Um, yeah.
A great idea.
Oh, honey, listen to me.
Tomorrow is going to be huge.
It's our first day.
I just [SIGHS.]
I think I'm a little nervous.
So I think I think we should get a good night's sleep.
Don't you? Yes.
I mean, I guess so.
We are going to set this town on fire.
You'll see.
Good night.
Good night.
What's wrong? Does it bother you that I have money and you don't? What? Bonnie said that money sometimes can mess up a relationship, and I'm starting to think that she might be right.
Oh, my God, no.
Not at all.
Baby, that has nothing to do with it.
I want to feel close to you.
I [SIGHS.]
And our sex life is well, it's a little lacking.
[SIGHS.]
Baby, I'm sorry.
Let's just let's get through our first day.
Once we get that under our belt, I'm sure that all this anxiety I'm having is going to go away.
- Think so? - I know it.
Set this town on fire? [TENNIS' "LADIES DON'T PLAY GUITAR".]
Good night.
Ladies just need your love Don't you know we are all caught up in it Baby, I've been listening I can be the archetype Of whatever you're feeling What you're feeling [TYPEWRITER DINGS.]
[ROCK MUSIC.]
I think Melissa's mom was talking to Angela's mom about you.
Angela's mom needs to worry about Angela.
That girl is strange.
I'm gonna drop you off at the house to do your homework.
Where are you going? I have to go shopping with your aunties.
Aunt Diana got me an appointment tomorrow with a wonderful employment agency.
- So I need to get a suit.
- Are you gonna work? Yes, I am.
What do you know how to do? I'm not really sure yet, sweetie.
Then how are you gonna get a job? I'm gonna buy a goddamn great suit, do my hair, wear my highest heels, and fake it! [GIGGLES.]
You know what you need? Palazzo pants.
What I need is something cheap that says, "This woman may have no work experience, but she's gonna be fantastic.
" You must have some work experience.
I worked at Dairy Queen when I was in high school.
- Oh, I love Dairy Queen.
- You do? - Yeah.
- Ice cream, right? Mm-hmm.
We need to find you something by Yves Saint Laurent.
Uh, Yves Saint Laurent isn't cheap.
Yeah, but she'll wear it forever.
Oh, look.
This is nice.
At these prices, I'd have to wear it forever.
Oh, look.
They're hiring here.
I can't work at the May Company.
Everyone we know shops here.
It would be humiliating.
[PIANO MUZAK PLAYING.]
Hi.
What do you think? Have you never been on a job interview before? No.
Well, unless the job involves tassels, it's probably not appropriate.
A suit isn't gonna fix Bonnie's problems.
She needs a new man.
A man who's not in danger of being incarcerated.
She needs a rich benefactor.
Like a sugar daddy? No, makes it sound so tawdry.
It can be a win-win situation where everyone gets what they want.
I could take her down to the Palm.
It's crawling with rich middle-aged divorcees and widowers.
Depending on a man is how Bonnie got in trouble in the first place.
She's not like you.
She's only had a year of college and no real skills.
Her beauty is her biggest asset.
Better? Yeah What? No.
You know, work can be rewarding.
And it's great for your self-esteem.
Is that why you drink a bottle of chardonnay every night and complain about that sexist Mr.
Bishop and that you're going nowhere in your job? No.
Sometimes I prefer sauvignon blanc.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
I'm just trying to help Bonnie play to her strengths.
- What do you think? - Oh.
I'd hire you.
Very professional.
It feels right.
I think even my ass looks smarter in this suit.
[CHUCKLES.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[DISTANT PHONE RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
Mrs.
Nolan? I realize it's a little thin.
Twiggy is thin.
This résumé is nonexistent.
Your last job was working as a transportation supervisor? What exactly did that entail? Driving my kids to school.
And back from school.
Unless they take the bus.
That probably doesn't count, does it? Not really.
I was hoping that all my years of being a wife and mother would have some sort of relevance in the business world.
It doesn't have any relevance, does it? Not really.
Is there something you think might be right for me? - Do you type? - Of course.
You're attractive, that's definitely a quality men look for in an executive assistant.
Do you have nice legs under there? Don't hide them anything that can make you stand out in the secretarial pool is definitely a bonus.
God knows your résumé won't do it.
[SIGHS.]
Don't mention your kids in an interview.
A lot of people are nervous about hiring women with children.
- They are? - They feel like your focus wouldn't be on the job or that you'd have to leave work because one of your kids was sick.
Oh, don't worry.
I don't allow my children to be sick.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
I left some folders on my desk.
Make sure you photocopy them before you leave.
[UPLIFTING ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Okay, Eric, so this is for a soap opera, so dialogue is a little over the top, but that's what those lonely housewives want, so have fun with it.
- Got it.
- Ready? "It's over, Michael.
I can't live like this.
It's all a lie.
" "You're wrong.
It's not a lie.
"When we kiss and your soft, warm lips meet mine, "that's not a lie.
"When my hand touches your perfect body, "softly, barely there, yet impossible to ignore, "that's not a lie.
"When we're together in our bed, "the ecstasy of our love, so passionate "it might consume us, that's not a lie.
"Because I can feel it all now.
Here.
"As real as I can feel my own body, "flesh, bone, blood, and the heart that pumps it.
"And that heart is not a lie, because it beats for you.
" That's it.
What? Oh, is it? Oh, it is.
What did you think? Would you like me to try something different? Hmm? No.
Will you excuse me for a minute? That was terrific.
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh Kathleen.
Greg, what's wrong? You all right? Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh [WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH.]
Hey.
[LAUGHS.]
[DOORBELL CHIMING.]
Becca.
[DOOR OPENS, SHUTS.]
Hello? Bonnie? Your daughter let me in.
I brought you my world-famous quiche.
I thought you could use some home cooking.
Thank you.
That's very sweet.
Isn't that what you brought to Mrs.
Watchouski's wake? It's the only dish I really know how to make.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
How have you been? Great.
Really? Well, I'm trying.
Oh, Steve.
I mean, God what a double whammy.
Well, the real estate world is small.
My brokerage works closely with Steve's.
I'm fine, Sherry.
I know that when I found out that my David was having an affair with that tacky bitch Trudy Nelson, oh, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.
You know, this house is amazing.
Three bedrooms, a pool, and is that an Amana stove? Oh, I could get you a great price for this place.
Have you decided when you want to put it on the market? I'm not selling the house.
It's worth considering.
The interest rates are very low.
I don't care what the interest rates are.
I'm not tearing my children away from their friends and their school.
But it's a seller's market right now.
Are you really giving me the hard sell now? It's important to strike while the iron, or in this case the market, is hot.
Thank you so much for stopping by, Sherry.
I'm gonna give you a 30-second head start before I shove that quiche up your ass.
Mom! Mom.
There's a man stealing our car! [BEEPING.]
What do you think you're doing? Think I'm repossessing your car.
You got to pay your bills, lady.
I've tried calling you over and over again.
Now fix it right this time! - Hi.
- Hi.
Come on, girls.
My card.
For when you're ready.
[ENGINE TURNS OVER.]
[FUNKY MUSIC.]
- Mom? - Honey.
- Why are you awake? - I'm scared.
I had a bad dream.
Oh, there's nothing to be scared of, baby.
When I used to have bad dreams, Daddy checked in the closet and under the bed to make sure there weren't any monsters.
I can come and check for you.
It's not the same.
No.
It isn't, is it? Why are you cleaning the pool? Because it's green.
And we don't have a pool boy anymore, so now Mommy has to do it.
And you can't tell anyone, okay? Why? I just don't want people to know that anything has changed.
It's none of their business.
Things have changed, haven't they? I suppose they have.
Are we poor now? No.
Why would you say that? Becca says we're poor.
She said that poor people can't stay in their house.
They have to leave.
[THE FACES' "OOH LA LA".]
Are we gonna have to leave, Mom? No.
We're not gonna leave, baby.
I promise.
Come here.
Poor old Granddad I laughed at all his words I thought he was a bitter man He spoke of women's ways They'll trap you then they use you Before you even know For love is blind and you're far too kind Don't ever let it show I wish that I knew what I know now When I was younger I wish that I knew what I know now Doesn't look like you have any prior retail experience.
I have years of experience with high-end retail, just from the perspective of an avid shopper.
And who better to sell to rich housewives than someone who used to be one? Someone with retail experience? Look, I can't type, and my résumé is starving, but I know I can do this job.
I'm smart and determined, and if you give me a chance, I promise you I will be the hardest worker you have.
I also have dozens of rich friends who can be blackmailed into not shopping at Neiman Marcus.
I wish that I knew what I know now What's this? Just a little gift we picked out for you.
Go ahead.
Open it.
I wish that I knew what I know now Oh, my.
It's beautiful.
Look, how sweet.
I could put the girls' pictures in there.
We were actually thinking our pictures.
But that works, too, I guess.
[ALL LAUGH.]
I think things are changing for the better.
To changes.
BOTH: Changes.
Thank you very much.
You're gonna look fabulous in the Oscar de la Renta.
Two hours in, and you're a pro.
- I speak designer fluently.
- Ooh.
- Bonnie.
- I'm Louise.
How long have you worked here? [SIGHS.]
Long enough to learn some tricks to stop me from drinking the perfume by the end of the day.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you don't look like the kind of woman who works in a department store.
Oh, what do I look like? Like a woman who shops in a department store.
I used to be, but I'm on sabbatical.
[LAUGHS.]
Are you okay? Yes, I I just see someone I know.
Oh.
I think it's time for your coffee break.
Why don't you head back and get a cup while I wait on her? Louise, um I'll wait on her.
Thank you, though.
Are you sure you want to? No.
But I can't keep hiding forever.
Hmm.
- Bonnie.
- Hello.
You have such good taste.
Do you mind if I ask your opinion? What do you think of these? They're very cute.
What are you, about a size seven? I'll go in the back and see if we have them.
Go in the back? Yes, I work here now.
What? Is this a joke? No.
Oh, my God.
Don't worry.
I won't tell anyone.
Oh, honey.
Of course you will.
I'll be right back with those shoes.
[THE FACES' "OOH LA LA".]
I wish that I knew what I know now When I was stronger