Angelyne (2022) s01e02 Episode Script
Gods and Fairies
1
[YOKO ONO'S "KISS KISS KISS".]
♪ [ENGINE REVVING.]
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me love ♪ Just one kiss, kiss will do ♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me love ♪ Just one kiss, kiss will do ♪ Why death, why life ♪ Warm hard, cold darts ♪ ♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me love ♪ ♪ I'm bleeding inside ♪ ♪ It's a long, long story to tell ♪ And I can only show you my hell ♪ ♪ Touch, touch, touch, touch me love ♪ Just ♪ Hm.
[GIGGLES.]
At long last, Angelyne.
Jeff.
[PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
I'll have a plate of tomatoes and a coffee, please, Ronnie.
Of course.
Is that for me? It is, yeah.
It's your perfume.
Mm.
What a gentleman.
This smell this is the way to world peace.
Hope you enjoy.
I did not bring her perfume.
I didn't.
You can give the check to him.
- May I? - Mm-hmm.
So when are you going to publish this? [LAUGHS.]
I don't know.
We literally just started the conversation.
Because Indiegogo has a time limit, and I want the filet mignon of billboard space.
Right.
Well, the more we talk, the better I get to know you, the sooner I can publish.
- How's that? - [GIGGLES.]
You are such a Taurus.
It's cute.
I am a Taurus.
How'd you figure that out? Passionate, persistent, persuasive.
You courted me.
You made me court you.
Did I? [GIGGLES.]
You know, I grew up seeing your billboards all over town.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
♪ There were hundreds of them.
How were you financing the billboards back in the day? Is it true there was a rich husband who paid for everything? Silly boy.
All rumors.
None of it is true.
[SIPS.]
Angelyne's billboards? My dad paid for those.
[LIGHT SERENE MUSIC.]
♪ "I-I could beat you in a court.
" [CONTINUES READING SOFTLY.]
[SIPS NOISILY.]
♪ [LAUGHING.]
Oh.
Well, would you look at that? The avocados are finally coming in.
Hm.
♪ - Hey, darling.
- Morning, Dad.
♪ Ah.
♪ [BOTH SIPPING NOISILY.]
[CLOCK TICKING.]
[PHONE RINGS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
- [PLATE SMASHES.]
For Chrissake, Harold.
This is my home! Tell her to call you at the office.
I don't even know how she got this number.
She is really something else.
Of course you know how she got it.
You gave it to her.
- Just admit it.
- Dad.
Please don't answer.
You won't admit it, though, will you? - Because you're a coward.
- Oh, Eve, honey, that is not nice.
- I never call you names.
- I just can't I can't take it anymore.
Not in my house.
I swear, I will leave and move back to London if you answer this phone.
Excuse me.
Dad, please don't do this to Mom! Your mother likes to be upset about things.
[RINGING.]
Good morning, Angelyne.
No! - [DISHES SHATTERING.]
- Oh, really? Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad, but I remember it feeling that bad.
I mean, we used to be a fun, loving, peaceful, Jewish family before she came along.
Right? But then the calls started: every day for years, 7:00 a.
m.
, 11:00 p.
m.
[HIGH-PITCHED.]
Can I speak to your daddykins? [SCOFFS.]
[NORMALLY.]
Uh, who was this woman, and what was she doing in my life? Wendy Oh, his daughter? [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
She's hardly even a part of the story.
So my father's name was Harold Wallach.
He ran a printing company that he had inherited from his father.
Uh, they did posters, billboards, you know, paid ads.
His employees just loved him just loyal as they come because my dad took care of them.
["MONKEY TALK" BY LENE LOVICH PLAYING.]
♪ Monkey see, monkey do ♪ Monkey want to talk to you ♪ Monkey got a lot to say ♪ Monkey must communicate ♪ ♪ Harold Wallach, please.
♪ Um, is he expecting you? That depends.
Tell him I'm a busty blonde with a business proposition, and I guess we'll see.
♪ If you'd like, I can go back there myself.
♪ Monkey see, monkey do ♪ Monkey want to talk to you ♪ Monkey got a lot to say ♪ Monkey must communicate ♪ ♪ Men and monkeys all are we ♪ Swinging through eternity ♪ ♪ - Are you an actress? - Mm-hmm.
You reading a screenplay? Yeah, it's for a show I'm in or going to be in.
We're waiting for the network to decide.
- That's fun.
- Mm-hmm.
I thought about writing a screenplay once about a scientist who creates a giant bra that turns me into a genius who can fight evil.
[DOOR CLICKS OPEN.]
Cool.
Hi, Mr.
Wallach will see you now.
- Good luck with your show.
- Thanks.
If you believe that it can happen, it will.
And my old boyfriend used to handle all the pictures, - but he is out of the picture.
- Mm-hmm.
And I don't even know where he got them printed, but he was super cheap, and I only want the best.
So I grabbed the yellow pages, I closed my eyes, and I said, "Find me the best printer in all the land, gods and fairies.
" [AIR WHOOSHING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
♪ You are the best, right? Oh, yeah yes.
Of course.
Gods and fairies, right.
We can do your posters, of course.
Whoever did these used the four-color process, so the pink doesn't really, uh, pop out like it should.
You are so smart, Harold.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Wow.
[LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Uh, but uh, look, I I I have to ask, what are you advertising? Oh, these old ones were for my band.
We're currently looking for a new guitarist.
It's a long story.
The new ones will be just for me.
So you're a singer? I'm [SOFT PLAYFUL MUSIC.]
Whatever you want me to be.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, right.
We do posters for cigarettes and soda and movies and so so what are you advertising? Myself, of course.
Yourself? ♪ Myself.
You wanna put up posters of yourself, just you, around the city? Mm-hmm, yeah.
Why not? Nobody's ever done it.
Why not start now? Well, I I'm not one to turn down business, but it's a very unorthodox idea.
Well, we didn't need to send a man to the Moon.
That could also be thought of as an unorthodox idea.
But we did it, and it inspired millions of people around the globe, maybe even the galaxy.
- We don't know yet.
- Hmm.
I'm only interested in paving new roads, Harold, not following old ones.
But if you'd rather follow an old one, that's okay, and I'll find someone else.
♪ I never thought of it like that before.
♪ Now this could be brilliant.
Brilliant.
It it's a kind - of avant-garde advertising.
- Dad? Like you're one second, honey like you're making some radical social statement.
Now, I'm not sure what that statement is exactly, but maybe that's why it's so inspiring.
And with your looks and charisma, - perhaps we should think bigger.
- [GASPS.]
I like that.
Mm-hmm.
Perhaps - Much bigger? - Yep.
Imagine my face here on a billboard looking over all of Hollywood.
Imagine all this for the entire world to see.
God, yes! And people will look up and wonder oh, it will drive them mad with curiosity.
They'll think, "Who is this woman?" 'Cause you're not a movie star.
You're not a model.
- You're just - Angelyne.
The billboard queen.
[LAUGHING.]
Yes.
[LAUGHS.]
Yes.
Ah.
What's your budget? [PRINTERS WHIRRING.]
Well, I I don't have a budget.
♪ But if everything goes according to my master plan, I'll be the most adored celebrity in the universe by 1989.
♪ I'll be the best investment you ever made, Harold.
♪ This is the one, I think, for the billboard.
I'll need the negative.
Maybe we can crop it to fit.
No, mm-mm.
- Hmm? - It's this one.
[SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC.]
It's all in my eyes, Harold.
Look in my eyes.
♪ No, no.
These eyes.
Oh, I can't see your eyes.
Exactly.
I want, uh, a mysterious, ethereal quality.
♪ Do you feel it? ♪ I'm hypnotizing you without saying a word.
Well, sure, but it's my money, and I think that this picture It's my face up there, Harold, not yours.
It's this one.
♪ You're right.
That's the one.
♪ - And - Hm? I don't want a lot of words.
- Just my name.
- Mm-hmm.
- And my number.
[LAUGHS.]
- Mm-hmm.
Now ♪ I've gotta be honest.
This is all quite quite intoxicating.
You know, I had dreams of being a big-time film director.
What happened to those dreams? [LAUGHS.]
What happens to all dreams.
Life gets in the way.
My father needed me at the plant.
That's what you do.
Well, if you had become a big, famous director ♪ Then we wouldn't be sitting here together, would we? That's true.
You have to take all of those negative thoughts and ♪ - Put 'em in a ball.
- Mm-hmm.
- And you throw them away.
- [LAUGHS.]
Only focus on the positive.
On the positive? ♪ My daughter, Wendy, is about to star on her own television show.
How 'bout that? I always knew with her.
I couldn't be more proud.
♪ Well, that Wendy is one lucky girl.
- You're from the Valley.
- I can tell by the accent.
[LAUGHS.]
♪ Born and raised.
You are so smart, Harold.
[LAUGHS.]
Is your family still there? No, well, oof.
My sister is here, and there, and everywhere, and our mother died when we were very young.
And my father abandoned us.
Men have always had such great power over women.
Throughout the history of the universe, men have been able to do whatever they want to women.
Sometimes they get a slap on the wrist.
Other times, no one says a word.
But men are also so easy to control.
Seducing a man is the most effective way a woman can control a man, and once you control them, you take the power back.
And that is all I did with that first billboard.
I seduced an entire city, and I took the power back.
I had my dream team.
Harold was the business genius, Freddy was the photo genius, and I was the art.
The mastery was at a whole new level.
If it wasn't absolutely perfect and pristine, we'd start over.
♪ We hunted for the perfect location.
It had to be impossible to miss.
Right there.
Well, that's the money.
What do you think? You like that spot? It seems kind of perfect.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
- Harold? - Hmm? ♪ Here we go.
People paint me as a vapid, talentless, over-the-top cartoon who's only obsessed with fame and success.
Paint me however you'd like.
But more than anything, this is about survival.
[YOKO ONO'S "NOBODY SEES ME LIKE YOU DO".]
♪ I see your face ♪ [GASPS.]
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
[HORNS BLARING.]
Hey! All tired and worried ♪ Why does it have to be like this? ♪ You and I ♪ Is that you up there? Happy ♪ Uh-huh.
No one can see me like you do ♪ [BELL DINGS.]
Oh! Like I do ♪ Can I get your autograph? I see your face ♪ As many as you want.
- Oh, hey.
Can I get one? - [GIGGLES.]
Uh, you know, for my girlfriend.
Being a wife and a woman ♪ Sure.
[GIGGLES.]
Thank you.
Please remember ♪ I wanted you to be happy ♪ Harold and I were on a rocket ship destined to pop the bubble of the universe.
Should I start? Ooh.
So why billboards? Why not? It was the next logical step.
First it was the posters.
Now it's billboards.
If you wanna grab people's attention, you have to tease.
So who paid for the billboards, though? Uh, your father? Rich husband? ♪ I'm a bright pink light, a beacon.
♪ I'm here to inspire joy and bring the consciousness of all mankind a few steps higher.
[SCOFFS.]
Higher consciousness.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, uh, I remember that first billboard so differently.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
♪ What the fuck? ♪ She might as well have been naked up there.
My eyes were just glued to those two blimps for breasts.
But then I noticed the number for management, and it was my dad's office number.
[HORN BLARES.]
You have to understand, my dad was a great person: gentle, childlike, um, and he adored my mother.
Before you, Angelyne, I didn't believe.
I didn't disbelieve.
I just But his relationship with Angelyne crossed every boundary.
He was like a teenager with her.
Of course Harold and I talked a lot, but it was always about business.
It was a busy, busy, busy time.
Oh! Yet here I am, awake at last, and seeing it all makes me weep.
You are such a poet, darling Harold, but right now, I need more than flowery phrases to keep expanding.
Have you checked out the corner of Beverly and Western? I'm pretty sure that one's with Foster & Kleiser.
- Plus, they always overvalue.
- I'll talk to them then.
They are not going to say no to me.
How 'bout Santa Monica and Crescent Heights? You really think it's worth the asking price? I wanna get to ten billboards by the end of the year.
Have you looked at my updated list? Uh, yes.
- And? - Yes, I'm reading it as we speak.
Uh, yep.
How do you have a sprinkler guy? I don't even have a sprinkler guy.
I don't have a sprinkler guy.
The sprinkler guy simply exists to offer his services, and it's up to me to balance the scales.
- You understand? - Not really, no.
I don't know why the entire world doesn't work on a barter system.
Let's say Tom wants an autographed photo of Angelyne.
Now, Tom Just so happens to be an irrigation specialist, so rather than money, I trade him for a new sprinkler system.
Now, Dick owns the billboard space that I want.
Dick just so happens to be desperate for a new sprinkler system, so I connect Tom and Dick, and mwah.
Ooh, voilà.
I get a new billboard.
[BELL DINGS.]
Oh! Everywhere you turned, there she was.
People like to talk about water cooler moments in pop culture today.
In 1980s LA, Angelyne was the water cooler.
This show is gonna make you so famous.
Soon there'll be Wendy lunch boxes, a Wendy backpack.
- [LAUGHS.]
- I'm so ready.
It's finally happening.
I mean, I know I'm only 19, but still.
Don't get surprised if the camera adds a little weight.
If you wanna stay thin, chew on ice.
I was starring in my own sitcom.
Millions dream of this moment, and I was living it.
But sure enough, Angelyne found a way in.
Guess who just had another Angelyne sighting.
- Second time this month.
- [LAUGHING.]
Ooh.
- That is good luck.
- You guys, I just saw her yesterday at the Chevron in Melrose.
She gave me her business card while her sugar daddy was pumping her gas.
He's probably getting something in return.
Maybe I'll call him so I can get in on the billboard game once this show inevitably crashes and burns.
We should totally call the number.
- Oh, my gosh.
- [LAUGHTER.]
Oh, we are so bad.
Hey, just planning out my future.
And if I gotta sleep my way up - [LINE TRILLING.]
- Mm, here we go.
Thank you for calling Angelyne.
You can leave a magnificent message.
- [RECORDING BEEPS.]
- Hey, Angelyne's manager.
- This is - Stop it! Fucking stop! [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
The phone would not stop ringing.
There were fans calling from every corner of the solar system.
I just really feel like we're connected - in a cosmic way.
- Mm.
- [MACHINE BEEPS.]
- Angelyne, I just think you're so beautiful.
- That's sweet.
- Angelyne, will you marry me? - [GIGGLES.]
- [GROANING.]
Oh, Angelyne.
- [PANTING.]
- Oh, God.
- Ah.
- Least he knows my name.
Whoo.
This is Joe Haywood at the "LA Times.
" I'd love to set up an interview with Angelyne.
"LA Times.
" That's the big leagues.
Make him give you a list of the questions so I can approve them first.
I don't think he's gonna do that.
Hi, I'm producing a movie, and the director is a big fan of yours and has specifically requested to see you audition for the part.
Uh, call me back for details.
213-109-0248.
Ciao for now.
I look forward to it.
[LAUGHS.]
Do you have any acting experience? I've dipped a toe in.
Yes, but can you act? I've seen Wendy rehearsing.
It takes a lot of work.
I've lived to be Angelyne this long.
- Hello, yes.
- Uh, my name is Harold Wallach.
I am returning a call regarding Angelyne.
♪ Yes, that Angelyne.
Marketing drives the industry, and I had a built-in fan base.
Nowadays, it's all about how many Instagram followers you have, all of which is nonsense, but I started all that.
With my billboards all over Hollywood, movie studios were begging for me.
- Okay.
- Are you ready? - Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- And I'm Samantha? - Yep.
Okay.
I'm busy, Samantha.
Not right now.
That was your cue.
- Me? - Yeah.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Hold on.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
Okay, okay.
If not now, then when, Steve? It's always work, work, work for you.
Uh, okay.
Do it softer and, um, sexier.
If not now, then when, Steve? [SLOWER.]
It's always work, work, work for you.
Yeah, good.
Really good, okay.
Um, let's try it again, so let's sit down for this one.
Come on.
[PATS COUCH.]
Okay, um, so it needs to sound feminine, but still with some aggression, okay? - Try it.
- Oh.
- I'm busy, Samantha.
- Okay.
- Not right now.
- Just.
[SHOUTING.]
If not now, then Whoa.
No, no, no.
What are you doing? [LAUGHTER.]
Why are you laughing? Angelyne, I'm asking you to tease.
That's not hard.
And you said yourself you've been teasing men from a young age, right? All right So tease me.
[LAUGHTER.]
[PHONE RINGING.]
Mm.
[MUFFLED SPEECH.]
I was completely disrespected.
I am so, so sorry.
I should've done more vetting.
It's so unprofessional of them, of me.
I do not wanna be put in a position like that ever again.
And that "LA Times" guy? He didn't ask any of the questions - that I wanted him to ask.
- I know.
He kept asking where I was born, and my age, and about my family, and none of that matters.
No, you're absolutely right.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Okay, you have qualities that produce visions.
All right? And these celebrity leeches they focus on tabloid gossip.
Now perhaps you have become too accessible to people - I'm done acting.
- And that is my fault.
I don't wanna be famous for something that I do.
- I wanna be famous for who I am.
- Right.
- I will only be Angelyne.
- Right.
And that is all you ever need to be.
You don't have to be anything or anyone other than Angelyne ever again.
I promise you that.
♪ - [SIGHS.]
- I believe in you.
♪ - Thank you, Daddykins.
- All right.
♪ - [LAUGHS.]
- Try and get some sleep.
♪ [SCREAMS.]
My father was officially living on another planet, while I was in dire need of him on this one.
But Dad, this is truly, totally what I wanna do with my life.
If you don't believe in me, well, I don't know what I'll do.
I do believe in you, honey.
Yeah? I truly, totally do.
- Cut and reset.
- [BELL DINGS.]
Shoot, sorry, did I step on your line? No, no, no, no.
You're fine.
Good.
Whew.
Thanks.
[SIGHS.]
I'm gonna miss this.
Wendy, you're a sweetheart.
Keep your chin up.
You'll do great.
Wait, are you leaving the show? They haven't told you.
[SIGHS.]
Goddamn sons of bitches.
Told me what? Back to one.
Back to one.
Last looks, please.
What, Mike? We're canceled, kid.
Sound speed! - From the top.
- What? Background.
Action! I want the best for you, but the music business is brutal and unforgiving.
It's okay to give up on your dreams.
No one'll judge.
♪ But Dad, this is truly, totally what I want to do with my life.
If you don't believe in me, I don't know what I'll do.
Wendy, I know you're worried about the camera, but there's, uh there's no MSG.
Mm.
Did you know my show got canceled? Hm? Last week.
Kept waiting for you to ask.
Oh, my God, I am so sorry, Wendy.
You know, that that really gripes me.
I never saw any advertising.
You want viewers, you have to advertise.
Maybe I can put up some billboards.
No, Dad.
It's done.
You can't fix it.
Have you ever heard of the word "penopotist"? That's not a word.
It means that you can take any impossible situation, turn it around.
You make it possible.
Just focus on the positive.
That's how Angelyne lives.
I gotta say, the results are stunning.
[DISH CLATTERS.]
I don't want to hear another word about bloody Angelyne.
- That's very negative, honey.
- Oh, well.
Very negative.
Listen, she's not a penopotist for sure.
Why do you spend so much time with her? We work together.
She needs me.
We need you.
[EMOTIONAL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
Mom needs you.
- Do you want a divorce? - I think you're overreacting.
Dad, she doesn't even have any talent.
- That's her talent.
- But I have real talent! Exactly.
That's why you don't need me the way that she does.
But if you do, my God, I am here for you always.
I just told you I'd put up a billboard for you.
That's not the point.
[PHONE RINGING.]
♪ I, um ♪ Please eat something.
Please, Wendy.
♪ [RINGING.]
♪ The world is a cruel place, and we're all just trying to get by, whatever way we know best.
And once you figure out what works, you just keep moving on forward ♪ No matter the roadblocks that stand in your way.
- It was 1984, I think.
- Next.
I was auditioning full-time then, you know, usually for guest spots, three-episode arcs.
And I saw the Corvette.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
♪ Thank you so much.
♪ Angelyne! ♪ It was primal.
I must key her car.
I have no choice.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm Harold Wallach's daughter.
You probably don't remember me, but I thought I should reintroduce myself, seeing as that you're such a big part of my family's life.
Hi.
Harold has told me so much about you.
Oh, I'm sure.
Yeah.
I love your hair.
It's so pretty.
I didn't want a compliment from her.
I was here to unleash rage.
Are you here for an audition? Harold told me you're auditioning again.
Yeah, but that's What were you auditioning for? To play a dead hooker.
It was for a guest spot on "The A-Team.
" I don't know, I swear she said it was a dead hooker.
Why would I lie? They wouldn't hold auditions for a - Dead hooker.
- [LAUGHS.]
[HIGH-PITCHED.]
So scandalous.
That's not what I said.
What what are you even doing here? Oh, I'm in a movie.
Yeah, look, that's my trailer right there.
Hm.
It's fit for a queen, right? You you don't act.
I know.
I'm playing myself.
Yeah, I didn't even have to audition.
Just gave them a list of my demands and ooh they met every single one, so here I am.
Are you sleeping with my father? No, I'm not.
I believed her.
Yeah, her relationship with my father was never sexual.
It was emotional [INHALES DEEPLY.]
Which was worse.
What are you even doing with him? He's not a manager.
He's a printer.
It has nothing to do with you.
He's my dad, not yours.
♪ Now you've crossed a line.
- Are you kidding? - You no, you crossed the line way before I ever came close to the line.
You're just upset because your little show got canceled.
She knew exactly how to hurt me most.
Stop calling my house.
It upsets my mother.
I love your mother.
You don't even know my mother, Angelyne! She hates you! Just go get your own family and stay the hell outta mine! Wendy, how are you? ♪ I think she was jealous of everything.
Really, my fame, my success.
She tried acting, but it didn't work out.
Meanwhile, her father invested millions of dollars in me, and it paid off.
Wouldn't you be jealous? [PRINTER WHIRRING.]
[BILL NELSON'S "DO YOU DREAM IN COLOUR?".]
♪ Music in the icebox ♪ Laughter in the dark ♪ Echoes in the silence ♪ Waiting for the spark ♪ Hold me while I'm naked ♪ Catch me if you can ♪ Suicide statements ♪ Are the measure of the man ♪ Do you dream in color? ♪ Do you dream in color? ♪ Here she is.
30 minutes late and right on time.
Angelyne, meet Lou and Sheldon.
Lou and Sheldon, mm.
Such strong names.
BOTH: Nice to meet you, Angelyne.
So boys, what is this about? Harold tells me you're a fan of Angelyne.
Me too.
Well, as I was just telling Harold, uh, your billboard at Sunset and Vine is in a prime location for one of our clients.
Hm, who's the client? We'd like to take over the lease contract, and we're willing to throw in a couple thousand extra to sweeten the deal.
It's a very generous offer.
Well gentlemen, this is not my decision to make.
Please talk to my partner.
[LAUGHS.]
Um no offense, but this might be above your head.
Mm, I I just I don't see anything up there.
Listen, Sheldon, it's not a generous offer.
It's a joke.
You really think that I would let go of Sunset and Vine for a couple thousand dollars? If you want that space, you give me ten of your billboards, including the one on Lankershim and Vineland.
Remember? [SOFTLY.]
I wanted that one.
We'll give you four, but not Lankershim.
Eight, and Lankershim is nonnegotiable.
Six.
- With Lankershim.
- No soup.
[LAUGHS.]
What's "No soup"? It's from her favorite movie.
It means you do not have a deal.
You know my demands, and if you can't meet them, then I don't see any reason to continue this conversation.
Oh, wait.
This is Harold's office, so I guess you two should leave.
Fine.
Eight.
I'm back up at ten now.
You two have been so very disrespectful.
Do you dream in color? [BELL DINGS.]
Do you dream in color? - Ooh! Do you dream in color? ♪ I think it was 2001.
Right, 'cause I was pregnant with my first kid.
And I hadn't seen Angelyne since before I left for college.
And then I saw the Corvette.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
All of that rage just came rushing back.
♪ Ugh, there was just no escaping her.
Angelyne? Wendy.
Harold's daughter.
Oh, hi.
Course I remember you.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
♪ [CLICKS TONGUE.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
How far along are you? Six months.
Is it a boy, a girl? Do you have a name yet? It's a boy, and, uh, no name just yet.
Any suggestions? It's something for the baby to choose.
Hmm.
How is my darling Harold doing? He, um, had a stroke last month.
♪ Oh.
Oh, no.
I wish I'd known.
Is he okay? We think so.
It wasn't too severe.
He's, uh he's getting up there.
Are you okay? Yeah.
I I have no choice to be.
Baby.
Hmm.
♪ Have you seen my new magazine? I have, actually.
I bought a copy a couple months ago.
You did? Oh, I can't believe I just admitted that to you.
Don't be silly.
I have a lot of stalkers.
No, I'm not a stalker.
Well - Here's the new one.
- Okay.
It's $50, but I'll give it to you for $20.
It's an ultra-phenomenal discount for an ultra-phenomenal person.
Thank you.
A real conversation with Angelyne.
Took me a long time and a lot of hard work to realize she never really was a threat to me or my career.
The funny thing is, she ended up being a big part of my healing process.
Please don't do this to Mom.
I wrote, directed, and starred in a one-woman show about my experience growing up in the shadow of the Angelyne billboards, called "Los Angelyne.
" It was cathartic.
I just decided I had to be done being mad at her and my father.
I just had to.
It was exhausting.
I mean, they were never really trying to hurt anyone.
Did she make his dreams come true? No.
He'll never become famous.
He'll only be a footnote in the story of Angelyne, which is itself a footnote in the story of Los Angeles.
But she did take him on a great ride.
[EASYGOING MUSIC.]
I'd slow slow down a touch.
Harold.
I'm a rebel, darling.
You can't tell me what to do.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, if this is how I go, then I I couldn't be happier.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- What about a wall? - [GASPS.]
Yeah, a wall.
Nobody has ever done that before.
The Hollywood Plaza has a wall, and it's boring and blank.
I'll look into it.
I've been thinking About making a movie of my life? Me too.
Yes, sure.
I like that.
I like it, but what about an Angelyne doll? [GASPS.]
That is naughty.
Can it be life-size? Of course, and photorealistic.
I love it.
I love it.
You know what I've been thinking? Hmm? What's that? - Buckle up.
- I'm buckled.
Jesus Christ.
No, no, no, no! Don't! God! Open your eyes.
How are you? ♪ [ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA'S "TELEPHONE LINE" PLAYING.]
Have you been all right ♪ Through all those lonely, lonely ♪ Lonely, lonely nights? ♪ That's what I'd say ♪ I'd tell you everything ♪ If you'd pick up that telephone ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ How you feeling? ♪ ♪ Are you still the same? ♪ Don't you realize ♪ The things we did, we did ♪ Were all for real not a dream? ♪ ♪ I just can't believe ♪ They've all faded out of view ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Doo-wop do-be-do-do-wop ♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪ Blue days black nights ♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪ I look into the sky ♪ The love you need ain't gonna see you through ♪ Harold was different than Cory.
Harold was different than all the other men in my life.
Did the rumors bother you? Oh, God, no.
Mm-mm.
People can think what they want as long as they're thinking of me.
- Ooh! - [LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
When I was a kid, I used to see your billboards and think, "Who is that beautiful woman, and what's her story?" Now, finally, many years later, I get to ask.
Who is Angelyne? I'm something you have to feel, something you have to experience.
If you really wanna know, you have to come with me.
Oh, oh, telephone line ♪ Give me some time ♪ I'm living in twilight ♪ ♪ Okay ♪ So no one's answering ♪ Can't you just let it ring ♪ A little longer, longer, longer? ♪ Whoa ♪ I'll just sit tight ♪ Through shadows of the night ♪ Let it ring forevermore ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ Ooh ♪ Doo-wop, do-be-do-do-wop ♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪ Blue days, black nights ♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪ I look into the sky ♪ The love you need ain't gonna see you through ♪ And I wonder why ♪ The little things you planned ain't coming true ♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪ Give me some time ♪ I'm living in twilight ♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪ Give me some time ♪ I'm living in twilight ♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪ Give me some time ♪ I'm living ♪ [COMPUTER BEEPS.]
[KEYS CLACKING.]
[AIRPLANE ENGINE WINDING DOWN.]
♪ [ENGINE REVVING.]
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me love ♪ Just one kiss, kiss will do ♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me love ♪ Just one kiss, kiss will do ♪ Why death, why life ♪ Warm hard, cold darts ♪ ♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me love ♪ ♪ I'm bleeding inside ♪ ♪ It's a long, long story to tell ♪ And I can only show you my hell ♪ ♪ Touch, touch, touch, touch me love ♪ Just ♪ Hm.
[GIGGLES.]
At long last, Angelyne.
Jeff.
[PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
I'll have a plate of tomatoes and a coffee, please, Ronnie.
Of course.
Is that for me? It is, yeah.
It's your perfume.
Mm.
What a gentleman.
This smell this is the way to world peace.
Hope you enjoy.
I did not bring her perfume.
I didn't.
You can give the check to him.
- May I? - Mm-hmm.
So when are you going to publish this? [LAUGHS.]
I don't know.
We literally just started the conversation.
Because Indiegogo has a time limit, and I want the filet mignon of billboard space.
Right.
Well, the more we talk, the better I get to know you, the sooner I can publish.
- How's that? - [GIGGLES.]
You are such a Taurus.
It's cute.
I am a Taurus.
How'd you figure that out? Passionate, persistent, persuasive.
You courted me.
You made me court you.
Did I? [GIGGLES.]
You know, I grew up seeing your billboards all over town.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
♪ There were hundreds of them.
How were you financing the billboards back in the day? Is it true there was a rich husband who paid for everything? Silly boy.
All rumors.
None of it is true.
[SIPS.]
Angelyne's billboards? My dad paid for those.
[LIGHT SERENE MUSIC.]
♪ "I-I could beat you in a court.
" [CONTINUES READING SOFTLY.]
[SIPS NOISILY.]
♪ [LAUGHING.]
Oh.
Well, would you look at that? The avocados are finally coming in.
Hm.
♪ - Hey, darling.
- Morning, Dad.
♪ Ah.
♪ [BOTH SIPPING NOISILY.]
[CLOCK TICKING.]
[PHONE RINGS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
- [PLATE SMASHES.]
For Chrissake, Harold.
This is my home! Tell her to call you at the office.
I don't even know how she got this number.
She is really something else.
Of course you know how she got it.
You gave it to her.
- Just admit it.
- Dad.
Please don't answer.
You won't admit it, though, will you? - Because you're a coward.
- Oh, Eve, honey, that is not nice.
- I never call you names.
- I just can't I can't take it anymore.
Not in my house.
I swear, I will leave and move back to London if you answer this phone.
Excuse me.
Dad, please don't do this to Mom! Your mother likes to be upset about things.
[RINGING.]
Good morning, Angelyne.
No! - [DISHES SHATTERING.]
- Oh, really? Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad, but I remember it feeling that bad.
I mean, we used to be a fun, loving, peaceful, Jewish family before she came along.
Right? But then the calls started: every day for years, 7:00 a.
m.
, 11:00 p.
m.
[HIGH-PITCHED.]
Can I speak to your daddykins? [SCOFFS.]
[NORMALLY.]
Uh, who was this woman, and what was she doing in my life? Wendy Oh, his daughter? [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
She's hardly even a part of the story.
So my father's name was Harold Wallach.
He ran a printing company that he had inherited from his father.
Uh, they did posters, billboards, you know, paid ads.
His employees just loved him just loyal as they come because my dad took care of them.
["MONKEY TALK" BY LENE LOVICH PLAYING.]
♪ Monkey see, monkey do ♪ Monkey want to talk to you ♪ Monkey got a lot to say ♪ Monkey must communicate ♪ ♪ Harold Wallach, please.
♪ Um, is he expecting you? That depends.
Tell him I'm a busty blonde with a business proposition, and I guess we'll see.
♪ If you'd like, I can go back there myself.
♪ Monkey see, monkey do ♪ Monkey want to talk to you ♪ Monkey got a lot to say ♪ Monkey must communicate ♪ ♪ Men and monkeys all are we ♪ Swinging through eternity ♪ ♪ - Are you an actress? - Mm-hmm.
You reading a screenplay? Yeah, it's for a show I'm in or going to be in.
We're waiting for the network to decide.
- That's fun.
- Mm-hmm.
I thought about writing a screenplay once about a scientist who creates a giant bra that turns me into a genius who can fight evil.
[DOOR CLICKS OPEN.]
Cool.
Hi, Mr.
Wallach will see you now.
- Good luck with your show.
- Thanks.
If you believe that it can happen, it will.
And my old boyfriend used to handle all the pictures, - but he is out of the picture.
- Mm-hmm.
And I don't even know where he got them printed, but he was super cheap, and I only want the best.
So I grabbed the yellow pages, I closed my eyes, and I said, "Find me the best printer in all the land, gods and fairies.
" [AIR WHOOSHING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
♪ You are the best, right? Oh, yeah yes.
Of course.
Gods and fairies, right.
We can do your posters, of course.
Whoever did these used the four-color process, so the pink doesn't really, uh, pop out like it should.
You are so smart, Harold.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Wow.
[LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Uh, but uh, look, I I I have to ask, what are you advertising? Oh, these old ones were for my band.
We're currently looking for a new guitarist.
It's a long story.
The new ones will be just for me.
So you're a singer? I'm [SOFT PLAYFUL MUSIC.]
Whatever you want me to be.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, right.
We do posters for cigarettes and soda and movies and so so what are you advertising? Myself, of course.
Yourself? ♪ Myself.
You wanna put up posters of yourself, just you, around the city? Mm-hmm, yeah.
Why not? Nobody's ever done it.
Why not start now? Well, I I'm not one to turn down business, but it's a very unorthodox idea.
Well, we didn't need to send a man to the Moon.
That could also be thought of as an unorthodox idea.
But we did it, and it inspired millions of people around the globe, maybe even the galaxy.
- We don't know yet.
- Hmm.
I'm only interested in paving new roads, Harold, not following old ones.
But if you'd rather follow an old one, that's okay, and I'll find someone else.
♪ I never thought of it like that before.
♪ Now this could be brilliant.
Brilliant.
It it's a kind - of avant-garde advertising.
- Dad? Like you're one second, honey like you're making some radical social statement.
Now, I'm not sure what that statement is exactly, but maybe that's why it's so inspiring.
And with your looks and charisma, - perhaps we should think bigger.
- [GASPS.]
I like that.
Mm-hmm.
Perhaps - Much bigger? - Yep.
Imagine my face here on a billboard looking over all of Hollywood.
Imagine all this for the entire world to see.
God, yes! And people will look up and wonder oh, it will drive them mad with curiosity.
They'll think, "Who is this woman?" 'Cause you're not a movie star.
You're not a model.
- You're just - Angelyne.
The billboard queen.
[LAUGHING.]
Yes.
[LAUGHS.]
Yes.
Ah.
What's your budget? [PRINTERS WHIRRING.]
Well, I I don't have a budget.
♪ But if everything goes according to my master plan, I'll be the most adored celebrity in the universe by 1989.
♪ I'll be the best investment you ever made, Harold.
♪ This is the one, I think, for the billboard.
I'll need the negative.
Maybe we can crop it to fit.
No, mm-mm.
- Hmm? - It's this one.
[SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC.]
It's all in my eyes, Harold.
Look in my eyes.
♪ No, no.
These eyes.
Oh, I can't see your eyes.
Exactly.
I want, uh, a mysterious, ethereal quality.
♪ Do you feel it? ♪ I'm hypnotizing you without saying a word.
Well, sure, but it's my money, and I think that this picture It's my face up there, Harold, not yours.
It's this one.
♪ You're right.
That's the one.
♪ - And - Hm? I don't want a lot of words.
- Just my name.
- Mm-hmm.
- And my number.
[LAUGHS.]
- Mm-hmm.
Now ♪ I've gotta be honest.
This is all quite quite intoxicating.
You know, I had dreams of being a big-time film director.
What happened to those dreams? [LAUGHS.]
What happens to all dreams.
Life gets in the way.
My father needed me at the plant.
That's what you do.
Well, if you had become a big, famous director ♪ Then we wouldn't be sitting here together, would we? That's true.
You have to take all of those negative thoughts and ♪ - Put 'em in a ball.
- Mm-hmm.
- And you throw them away.
- [LAUGHS.]
Only focus on the positive.
On the positive? ♪ My daughter, Wendy, is about to star on her own television show.
How 'bout that? I always knew with her.
I couldn't be more proud.
♪ Well, that Wendy is one lucky girl.
- You're from the Valley.
- I can tell by the accent.
[LAUGHS.]
♪ Born and raised.
You are so smart, Harold.
[LAUGHS.]
Is your family still there? No, well, oof.
My sister is here, and there, and everywhere, and our mother died when we were very young.
And my father abandoned us.
Men have always had such great power over women.
Throughout the history of the universe, men have been able to do whatever they want to women.
Sometimes they get a slap on the wrist.
Other times, no one says a word.
But men are also so easy to control.
Seducing a man is the most effective way a woman can control a man, and once you control them, you take the power back.
And that is all I did with that first billboard.
I seduced an entire city, and I took the power back.
I had my dream team.
Harold was the business genius, Freddy was the photo genius, and I was the art.
The mastery was at a whole new level.
If it wasn't absolutely perfect and pristine, we'd start over.
♪ We hunted for the perfect location.
It had to be impossible to miss.
Right there.
Well, that's the money.
What do you think? You like that spot? It seems kind of perfect.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
- Harold? - Hmm? ♪ Here we go.
People paint me as a vapid, talentless, over-the-top cartoon who's only obsessed with fame and success.
Paint me however you'd like.
But more than anything, this is about survival.
[YOKO ONO'S "NOBODY SEES ME LIKE YOU DO".]
♪ I see your face ♪ [GASPS.]
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
[HORNS BLARING.]
Hey! All tired and worried ♪ Why does it have to be like this? ♪ You and I ♪ Is that you up there? Happy ♪ Uh-huh.
No one can see me like you do ♪ [BELL DINGS.]
Oh! Like I do ♪ Can I get your autograph? I see your face ♪ As many as you want.
- Oh, hey.
Can I get one? - [GIGGLES.]
Uh, you know, for my girlfriend.
Being a wife and a woman ♪ Sure.
[GIGGLES.]
Thank you.
Please remember ♪ I wanted you to be happy ♪ Harold and I were on a rocket ship destined to pop the bubble of the universe.
Should I start? Ooh.
So why billboards? Why not? It was the next logical step.
First it was the posters.
Now it's billboards.
If you wanna grab people's attention, you have to tease.
So who paid for the billboards, though? Uh, your father? Rich husband? ♪ I'm a bright pink light, a beacon.
♪ I'm here to inspire joy and bring the consciousness of all mankind a few steps higher.
[SCOFFS.]
Higher consciousness.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, uh, I remember that first billboard so differently.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
♪ What the fuck? ♪ She might as well have been naked up there.
My eyes were just glued to those two blimps for breasts.
But then I noticed the number for management, and it was my dad's office number.
[HORN BLARES.]
You have to understand, my dad was a great person: gentle, childlike, um, and he adored my mother.
Before you, Angelyne, I didn't believe.
I didn't disbelieve.
I just But his relationship with Angelyne crossed every boundary.
He was like a teenager with her.
Of course Harold and I talked a lot, but it was always about business.
It was a busy, busy, busy time.
Oh! Yet here I am, awake at last, and seeing it all makes me weep.
You are such a poet, darling Harold, but right now, I need more than flowery phrases to keep expanding.
Have you checked out the corner of Beverly and Western? I'm pretty sure that one's with Foster & Kleiser.
- Plus, they always overvalue.
- I'll talk to them then.
They are not going to say no to me.
How 'bout Santa Monica and Crescent Heights? You really think it's worth the asking price? I wanna get to ten billboards by the end of the year.
Have you looked at my updated list? Uh, yes.
- And? - Yes, I'm reading it as we speak.
Uh, yep.
How do you have a sprinkler guy? I don't even have a sprinkler guy.
I don't have a sprinkler guy.
The sprinkler guy simply exists to offer his services, and it's up to me to balance the scales.
- You understand? - Not really, no.
I don't know why the entire world doesn't work on a barter system.
Let's say Tom wants an autographed photo of Angelyne.
Now, Tom Just so happens to be an irrigation specialist, so rather than money, I trade him for a new sprinkler system.
Now, Dick owns the billboard space that I want.
Dick just so happens to be desperate for a new sprinkler system, so I connect Tom and Dick, and mwah.
Ooh, voilà.
I get a new billboard.
[BELL DINGS.]
Oh! Everywhere you turned, there she was.
People like to talk about water cooler moments in pop culture today.
In 1980s LA, Angelyne was the water cooler.
This show is gonna make you so famous.
Soon there'll be Wendy lunch boxes, a Wendy backpack.
- [LAUGHS.]
- I'm so ready.
It's finally happening.
I mean, I know I'm only 19, but still.
Don't get surprised if the camera adds a little weight.
If you wanna stay thin, chew on ice.
I was starring in my own sitcom.
Millions dream of this moment, and I was living it.
But sure enough, Angelyne found a way in.
Guess who just had another Angelyne sighting.
- Second time this month.
- [LAUGHING.]
Ooh.
- That is good luck.
- You guys, I just saw her yesterday at the Chevron in Melrose.
She gave me her business card while her sugar daddy was pumping her gas.
He's probably getting something in return.
Maybe I'll call him so I can get in on the billboard game once this show inevitably crashes and burns.
We should totally call the number.
- Oh, my gosh.
- [LAUGHTER.]
Oh, we are so bad.
Hey, just planning out my future.
And if I gotta sleep my way up - [LINE TRILLING.]
- Mm, here we go.
Thank you for calling Angelyne.
You can leave a magnificent message.
- [RECORDING BEEPS.]
- Hey, Angelyne's manager.
- This is - Stop it! Fucking stop! [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
The phone would not stop ringing.
There were fans calling from every corner of the solar system.
I just really feel like we're connected - in a cosmic way.
- Mm.
- [MACHINE BEEPS.]
- Angelyne, I just think you're so beautiful.
- That's sweet.
- Angelyne, will you marry me? - [GIGGLES.]
- [GROANING.]
Oh, Angelyne.
- [PANTING.]
- Oh, God.
- Ah.
- Least he knows my name.
Whoo.
This is Joe Haywood at the "LA Times.
" I'd love to set up an interview with Angelyne.
"LA Times.
" That's the big leagues.
Make him give you a list of the questions so I can approve them first.
I don't think he's gonna do that.
Hi, I'm producing a movie, and the director is a big fan of yours and has specifically requested to see you audition for the part.
Uh, call me back for details.
213-109-0248.
Ciao for now.
I look forward to it.
[LAUGHS.]
Do you have any acting experience? I've dipped a toe in.
Yes, but can you act? I've seen Wendy rehearsing.
It takes a lot of work.
I've lived to be Angelyne this long.
- Hello, yes.
- Uh, my name is Harold Wallach.
I am returning a call regarding Angelyne.
♪ Yes, that Angelyne.
Marketing drives the industry, and I had a built-in fan base.
Nowadays, it's all about how many Instagram followers you have, all of which is nonsense, but I started all that.
With my billboards all over Hollywood, movie studios were begging for me.
- Okay.
- Are you ready? - Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- And I'm Samantha? - Yep.
Okay.
I'm busy, Samantha.
Not right now.
That was your cue.
- Me? - Yeah.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Hold on.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
Okay, okay.
If not now, then when, Steve? It's always work, work, work for you.
Uh, okay.
Do it softer and, um, sexier.
If not now, then when, Steve? [SLOWER.]
It's always work, work, work for you.
Yeah, good.
Really good, okay.
Um, let's try it again, so let's sit down for this one.
Come on.
[PATS COUCH.]
Okay, um, so it needs to sound feminine, but still with some aggression, okay? - Try it.
- Oh.
- I'm busy, Samantha.
- Okay.
- Not right now.
- Just.
[SHOUTING.]
If not now, then Whoa.
No, no, no.
What are you doing? [LAUGHTER.]
Why are you laughing? Angelyne, I'm asking you to tease.
That's not hard.
And you said yourself you've been teasing men from a young age, right? All right So tease me.
[LAUGHTER.]
[PHONE RINGING.]
Mm.
[MUFFLED SPEECH.]
I was completely disrespected.
I am so, so sorry.
I should've done more vetting.
It's so unprofessional of them, of me.
I do not wanna be put in a position like that ever again.
And that "LA Times" guy? He didn't ask any of the questions - that I wanted him to ask.
- I know.
He kept asking where I was born, and my age, and about my family, and none of that matters.
No, you're absolutely right.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Okay, you have qualities that produce visions.
All right? And these celebrity leeches they focus on tabloid gossip.
Now perhaps you have become too accessible to people - I'm done acting.
- And that is my fault.
I don't wanna be famous for something that I do.
- I wanna be famous for who I am.
- Right.
- I will only be Angelyne.
- Right.
And that is all you ever need to be.
You don't have to be anything or anyone other than Angelyne ever again.
I promise you that.
♪ - [SIGHS.]
- I believe in you.
♪ - Thank you, Daddykins.
- All right.
♪ - [LAUGHS.]
- Try and get some sleep.
♪ [SCREAMS.]
My father was officially living on another planet, while I was in dire need of him on this one.
But Dad, this is truly, totally what I wanna do with my life.
If you don't believe in me, well, I don't know what I'll do.
I do believe in you, honey.
Yeah? I truly, totally do.
- Cut and reset.
- [BELL DINGS.]
Shoot, sorry, did I step on your line? No, no, no, no.
You're fine.
Good.
Whew.
Thanks.
[SIGHS.]
I'm gonna miss this.
Wendy, you're a sweetheart.
Keep your chin up.
You'll do great.
Wait, are you leaving the show? They haven't told you.
[SIGHS.]
Goddamn sons of bitches.
Told me what? Back to one.
Back to one.
Last looks, please.
What, Mike? We're canceled, kid.
Sound speed! - From the top.
- What? Background.
Action! I want the best for you, but the music business is brutal and unforgiving.
It's okay to give up on your dreams.
No one'll judge.
♪ But Dad, this is truly, totally what I want to do with my life.
If you don't believe in me, I don't know what I'll do.
Wendy, I know you're worried about the camera, but there's, uh there's no MSG.
Mm.
Did you know my show got canceled? Hm? Last week.
Kept waiting for you to ask.
Oh, my God, I am so sorry, Wendy.
You know, that that really gripes me.
I never saw any advertising.
You want viewers, you have to advertise.
Maybe I can put up some billboards.
No, Dad.
It's done.
You can't fix it.
Have you ever heard of the word "penopotist"? That's not a word.
It means that you can take any impossible situation, turn it around.
You make it possible.
Just focus on the positive.
That's how Angelyne lives.
I gotta say, the results are stunning.
[DISH CLATTERS.]
I don't want to hear another word about bloody Angelyne.
- That's very negative, honey.
- Oh, well.
Very negative.
Listen, she's not a penopotist for sure.
Why do you spend so much time with her? We work together.
She needs me.
We need you.
[EMOTIONAL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
Mom needs you.
- Do you want a divorce? - I think you're overreacting.
Dad, she doesn't even have any talent.
- That's her talent.
- But I have real talent! Exactly.
That's why you don't need me the way that she does.
But if you do, my God, I am here for you always.
I just told you I'd put up a billboard for you.
That's not the point.
[PHONE RINGING.]
♪ I, um ♪ Please eat something.
Please, Wendy.
♪ [RINGING.]
♪ The world is a cruel place, and we're all just trying to get by, whatever way we know best.
And once you figure out what works, you just keep moving on forward ♪ No matter the roadblocks that stand in your way.
- It was 1984, I think.
- Next.
I was auditioning full-time then, you know, usually for guest spots, three-episode arcs.
And I saw the Corvette.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
♪ Thank you so much.
♪ Angelyne! ♪ It was primal.
I must key her car.
I have no choice.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm Harold Wallach's daughter.
You probably don't remember me, but I thought I should reintroduce myself, seeing as that you're such a big part of my family's life.
Hi.
Harold has told me so much about you.
Oh, I'm sure.
Yeah.
I love your hair.
It's so pretty.
I didn't want a compliment from her.
I was here to unleash rage.
Are you here for an audition? Harold told me you're auditioning again.
Yeah, but that's What were you auditioning for? To play a dead hooker.
It was for a guest spot on "The A-Team.
" I don't know, I swear she said it was a dead hooker.
Why would I lie? They wouldn't hold auditions for a - Dead hooker.
- [LAUGHS.]
[HIGH-PITCHED.]
So scandalous.
That's not what I said.
What what are you even doing here? Oh, I'm in a movie.
Yeah, look, that's my trailer right there.
Hm.
It's fit for a queen, right? You you don't act.
I know.
I'm playing myself.
Yeah, I didn't even have to audition.
Just gave them a list of my demands and ooh they met every single one, so here I am.
Are you sleeping with my father? No, I'm not.
I believed her.
Yeah, her relationship with my father was never sexual.
It was emotional [INHALES DEEPLY.]
Which was worse.
What are you even doing with him? He's not a manager.
He's a printer.
It has nothing to do with you.
He's my dad, not yours.
♪ Now you've crossed a line.
- Are you kidding? - You no, you crossed the line way before I ever came close to the line.
You're just upset because your little show got canceled.
She knew exactly how to hurt me most.
Stop calling my house.
It upsets my mother.
I love your mother.
You don't even know my mother, Angelyne! She hates you! Just go get your own family and stay the hell outta mine! Wendy, how are you? ♪ I think she was jealous of everything.
Really, my fame, my success.
She tried acting, but it didn't work out.
Meanwhile, her father invested millions of dollars in me, and it paid off.
Wouldn't you be jealous? [PRINTER WHIRRING.]
[BILL NELSON'S "DO YOU DREAM IN COLOUR?".]
♪ Music in the icebox ♪ Laughter in the dark ♪ Echoes in the silence ♪ Waiting for the spark ♪ Hold me while I'm naked ♪ Catch me if you can ♪ Suicide statements ♪ Are the measure of the man ♪ Do you dream in color? ♪ Do you dream in color? ♪ Here she is.
30 minutes late and right on time.
Angelyne, meet Lou and Sheldon.
Lou and Sheldon, mm.
Such strong names.
BOTH: Nice to meet you, Angelyne.
So boys, what is this about? Harold tells me you're a fan of Angelyne.
Me too.
Well, as I was just telling Harold, uh, your billboard at Sunset and Vine is in a prime location for one of our clients.
Hm, who's the client? We'd like to take over the lease contract, and we're willing to throw in a couple thousand extra to sweeten the deal.
It's a very generous offer.
Well gentlemen, this is not my decision to make.
Please talk to my partner.
[LAUGHS.]
Um no offense, but this might be above your head.
Mm, I I just I don't see anything up there.
Listen, Sheldon, it's not a generous offer.
It's a joke.
You really think that I would let go of Sunset and Vine for a couple thousand dollars? If you want that space, you give me ten of your billboards, including the one on Lankershim and Vineland.
Remember? [SOFTLY.]
I wanted that one.
We'll give you four, but not Lankershim.
Eight, and Lankershim is nonnegotiable.
Six.
- With Lankershim.
- No soup.
[LAUGHS.]
What's "No soup"? It's from her favorite movie.
It means you do not have a deal.
You know my demands, and if you can't meet them, then I don't see any reason to continue this conversation.
Oh, wait.
This is Harold's office, so I guess you two should leave.
Fine.
Eight.
I'm back up at ten now.
You two have been so very disrespectful.
Do you dream in color? [BELL DINGS.]
Do you dream in color? - Ooh! Do you dream in color? ♪ I think it was 2001.
Right, 'cause I was pregnant with my first kid.
And I hadn't seen Angelyne since before I left for college.
And then I saw the Corvette.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
All of that rage just came rushing back.
♪ Ugh, there was just no escaping her.
Angelyne? Wendy.
Harold's daughter.
Oh, hi.
Course I remember you.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
♪ [CLICKS TONGUE.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
How far along are you? Six months.
Is it a boy, a girl? Do you have a name yet? It's a boy, and, uh, no name just yet.
Any suggestions? It's something for the baby to choose.
Hmm.
How is my darling Harold doing? He, um, had a stroke last month.
♪ Oh.
Oh, no.
I wish I'd known.
Is he okay? We think so.
It wasn't too severe.
He's, uh he's getting up there.
Are you okay? Yeah.
I I have no choice to be.
Baby.
Hmm.
♪ Have you seen my new magazine? I have, actually.
I bought a copy a couple months ago.
You did? Oh, I can't believe I just admitted that to you.
Don't be silly.
I have a lot of stalkers.
No, I'm not a stalker.
Well - Here's the new one.
- Okay.
It's $50, but I'll give it to you for $20.
It's an ultra-phenomenal discount for an ultra-phenomenal person.
Thank you.
A real conversation with Angelyne.
Took me a long time and a lot of hard work to realize she never really was a threat to me or my career.
The funny thing is, she ended up being a big part of my healing process.
Please don't do this to Mom.
I wrote, directed, and starred in a one-woman show about my experience growing up in the shadow of the Angelyne billboards, called "Los Angelyne.
" It was cathartic.
I just decided I had to be done being mad at her and my father.
I just had to.
It was exhausting.
I mean, they were never really trying to hurt anyone.
Did she make his dreams come true? No.
He'll never become famous.
He'll only be a footnote in the story of Angelyne, which is itself a footnote in the story of Los Angeles.
But she did take him on a great ride.
[EASYGOING MUSIC.]
I'd slow slow down a touch.
Harold.
I'm a rebel, darling.
You can't tell me what to do.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, if this is how I go, then I I couldn't be happier.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- What about a wall? - [GASPS.]
Yeah, a wall.
Nobody has ever done that before.
The Hollywood Plaza has a wall, and it's boring and blank.
I'll look into it.
I've been thinking About making a movie of my life? Me too.
Yes, sure.
I like that.
I like it, but what about an Angelyne doll? [GASPS.]
That is naughty.
Can it be life-size? Of course, and photorealistic.
I love it.
I love it.
You know what I've been thinking? Hmm? What's that? - Buckle up.
- I'm buckled.
Jesus Christ.
No, no, no, no! Don't! God! Open your eyes.
How are you? ♪ [ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA'S "TELEPHONE LINE" PLAYING.]
Have you been all right ♪ Through all those lonely, lonely ♪ Lonely, lonely nights? ♪ That's what I'd say ♪ I'd tell you everything ♪ If you'd pick up that telephone ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ How you feeling? ♪ ♪ Are you still the same? ♪ Don't you realize ♪ The things we did, we did ♪ Were all for real not a dream? ♪ ♪ I just can't believe ♪ They've all faded out of view ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Doo-wop do-be-do-do-wop ♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪ Blue days black nights ♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪ I look into the sky ♪ The love you need ain't gonna see you through ♪ Harold was different than Cory.
Harold was different than all the other men in my life.
Did the rumors bother you? Oh, God, no.
Mm-mm.
People can think what they want as long as they're thinking of me.
- Ooh! - [LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
When I was a kid, I used to see your billboards and think, "Who is that beautiful woman, and what's her story?" Now, finally, many years later, I get to ask.
Who is Angelyne? I'm something you have to feel, something you have to experience.
If you really wanna know, you have to come with me.
Oh, oh, telephone line ♪ Give me some time ♪ I'm living in twilight ♪ ♪ Okay ♪ So no one's answering ♪ Can't you just let it ring ♪ A little longer, longer, longer? ♪ Whoa ♪ I'll just sit tight ♪ Through shadows of the night ♪ Let it ring forevermore ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ Ooh ♪ Doo-wop, do-be-do-do-wop ♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪ Blue days, black nights ♪ Doo-wa-doo-day ♪ I look into the sky ♪ The love you need ain't gonna see you through ♪ And I wonder why ♪ The little things you planned ain't coming true ♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪ Give me some time ♪ I'm living in twilight ♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪ Give me some time ♪ I'm living in twilight ♪ Oh, oh, telephone line ♪ Give me some time ♪ I'm living ♪ [COMPUTER BEEPS.]
[KEYS CLACKING.]
[AIRPLANE ENGINE WINDING DOWN.]