Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) s01e02 Episode Script
Escape From Leprauchpolis
Gentlemen, I have created this thing.
- What is it? - I don't know.
Stand over here.
You mean right her whoa! Hey! hey! hey! It works! I am one can short of a 6-pack.
The lights! Who is that? Who's here? That thing I created, it's gone! Who could have penetrated my impenetrable fortress? My hair heater! Frylock, find out what kind of acid dissolves meat.
No! Don't do that! Yes, Meatwad, that's what we're doing.
- That's not what we're doing.
- Frylock! Look it up on the internet.
- Shut up, Meatwad.
- Let go of me! Go down to the park and step into the rainbow and you'll be rich with gold! Forward this to 20 people or we will burn your brain from the inside.
GO DOWN TO THE DAMN PARK!! Man, who would be stupid enough to check this out? All right, I'm gonna give this rainbow thing another 5 minutes.
And if it don't show up quick then I am going down to the store and get a hot rod magazine, 'cause they got the chicks with the boobs on there.
Excellent.
Another victim falls prey to my brilliant e-mail plan.
Soon, we will have enough treasure to rule all of New Jersey.
Flargin, he doesn't really look like he has any money or a job or a wallet.
Well, I'm sure he has some decent tennis shoes.
He doesn't even have pockets.
Look, he's wearing sweatpants.
Dingle, engage the rainbow machine! Yeah, here come the gold! Aw, look at this now, I don't see crap in there.
I know this game.
This is how they get you.
Yes, fat man, this IS how we get you! Hey there, where's the gold there? Flip-flops? What is this!? What did I say? No money, no job, no taste.
How ya doin there, bozo.
Give me the gold.
- Aw, Jesus! Don't do that! - Next time you come to the park, fat man, you wear your good shoes! Phew, this sure is relaxing, Frylock.
Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Master Shake said it would dissolve me, and then I would get clogged in the filter, and then beavers would come and eat me.
But that hasn't happened yet.
-Get ready! - Oh, great.
I'm about to cannonball-- What is THIS? - Hi, Master Shake.
- Meatwad, what are you doing in my pool? Look, I'm a meat-bouy.
Yes, where you should have a brain there's a cavity that keeps you afloat.
Isn't that something to be very proud of.
Look, I have a brain.
I just took it out so it wouldn't get wet.
Yeah, man.
He took his brain out.
It's cool.
Well, yeah, but but wait! You don't want the werewolf to see you swimming.
He will get jealous.
- Now you said - Oh, no! What's this - down here? - Nooooooo! Noooooooo! Did you see that? You're really sick, Shake, you know that? I am the lord of illusions.
Whoa, ouch.
Carl, are you alright? - Oh, my ribs.
- What happened? I got this e-mail to go to the park and step inside the rainbow and I'd get some gold.
Gold? Come on! Let's go get the gold! Wait.
I got that same e-mail, Carl.
Yeah, well don't go, okay? 'Cause that rainbow through me all over the place and then some little guy kicked my head in and took my chain.
And then you got the gold, so where's the gold? Where is it? You know what, Shake? Do go.
You'll have fun.
Hmm, it sounds like some sort of internet pyramid mugging scheme.
Oh, no! So what you're saying is this is a mystery and we gotta go solve it, right? I scheduled this day off over two weeks ago.
I made a memo.
Shake, we need to go down to the park and find out what's going on.
Uh, this is Wait! You said the park? I have a plan! Aqua Teen Hunger Force assemble! Watch out y'all.
Shake got a plan to catch all you perpetrators.
Hey, broad, let's date! Come look behind the tree, sweetie-baby! Come get the things I bought for you while they're nice! - What kind of a plan is this?! - You're absolutely right.
There's no girls here at all, I don't understand it.
We should of gone to the dry-cleaners.
Chicks love to clean.
Chicks? We're here to solve a mystery, Shake! I know, the mystery of where the women are, right? Come on, baby.
Come behind the tree and get some sugar! I'm starting to get a cramp.
Do not move or say anything.
You're scaring away all the babes with your fluids and diseases.
Look, I want to go back to ball shape.
I don't like being a man.
Well you're never gonna be a man with the way you act.
What in the hell is that? Ya know, this whole plan is just attracting a bunch of goobers.
What do their shoes look like? Seems kinda stupid doing this whole thing for shoes.
It's not just for shoes! It's it's Then for what? This Bananarama tape with no case? We really scored big on that one, didn't we, buddy? You.
shut up! Just.
.
just turn on the machine! Feet.
Look, that's the rainbow from Carl's e-mail! You're right, Shake.
Good work.
- Gold! I'm rich! - Shake, no! - What just happened? - That rainbow just took Shake away! Really, that is awful.
Let's go get some ice cream.
Wait, Meatwad.
We need to find him.
And when we find Shake, we'll find our culprits.
Or we could just get a new roomate.
Look, you go find him.
He don't yell at you.
All I ever try to do is make him smile and sing around him and dance around him and he just lays into me.
He told me to get in the freezer 'cause there was a carnival in there.
There wasn't no carnival, it was a damn freezer.
I got freezer burn and I got mushed up against that chicken Hang on, hang on a second, Meatwad.
My fry-dar is picking up some very small brain activity.
Yoo-hoo, I'm rich! - Great, he's alive! - Damn it.
Rich beyond my wildest imagination.
Get away from that, I call that one.
That pile's mine as well.
- No feet! - Yeah, that's right, ass.
No feet.
- What is this, a frisbee? - Get away from our precious treasure! You call this frisbee treasure? It's bent! This is crap! Where's the gold? Good question.
I told you we needed to be doing this in Antwerp, Flargin.
At least they have diamonds.
Well, Merle.
You know you don't have to be part of this plan.
Yeah, but I'm the only one that looks normal enough to to go into town and buy us food.
Isn't that right? Normal?! You're not even Irish! Look, I told you when we met that I was not a leprechaun, that I was from Rhode Island, and that I was half Korean and you said it didn't matter.
You're both yo-yos! Shut up, ya yo-yos.
Get rid of him! Look here, gnome, I'll save you the trouble.
Screw this.
I'm outta here.
- Shake, we found you! - Yes, that's amazing.
Wait, are those roller skates? Those ARE roller skates! Let's go.
They don't have nothing.
It's like a flea market threw up in there.
- Look, a Bananarama tape! - That's mine! Drop it where you are! So you're the ones sending all those e-mails, with this laptop, and then you're using this rainbow machine to mug people.
They are? That's right, they ARE! That's why I got here first.
Now you know too much! Turn on the machine! - You broke it! - Prepare to die! Look, we did not do it! We had nothing to do with it.
That machine was here when we got here.
- In fact, what happened - Stow it, pee-wee, I heard it all before.
Just save it for the judge bec Is that gold? It IS gold! You don't need a machine to make a rainbow.
For rainbows are made of happy thoughts, and dreams, and chocolate unicorns, and gumdrops, and licorice sunsets, and fuzzy gumdrop bears, and sugar-coated chocolate gumdrop land.
No way in hell! So, all we need to do is dream and a rainbow will come out and capture people and we can take their stuff? - What? - I mean, in theory, 'cause we didn't do it.
Wait a second, did you say you didn't do it? Cuz that's all I need to hear.
Come on, they didn't do it.
What about all this treasure? And the laptop, and the e-mails, and the rainbow machine? Well what about this chain? - What about it? - Look, it's glinting in the sunlight.
- RUN!!! - Oh great, now they're gone, Shake.
Yes, they escaped because you were trying to frame them.
So we need to get back so I can get this baby polished up before the night clubs open.
Come on, we're done.
That's what y'all get when y'all mess with then Aqua Teens.
Oh good, you're back.
Tell me you got those little green guys.
Carl, those green guys, turns out they didn't do it.
Oh, really? And so, this will remain one of the great unsolved mysteries of our times.
Wonderful.
While we're on the topic, what's that around your little straw thing there, dangling, like it's yours? Oh you like it? It's new.
Yeah, I do like it.
I liked it when I bought it.
Then maybe you can answer this for me.
Is it real gold? Because it's leaving like a little greenish streak on my lid.
SHHH! I'm trying to sleep, so that the real rainbow will come and The real rainbow! I did it! I brought happiness and joy to us all! - Wow! - Ohhh, good.
Well, I gotta go.
See ya later.
Oh! The dream house we've always dreamed about! - No feet! No feet! - Hang on, Dingle.
Flargen, where's it gonna land? - You heard him.
- Your dead punk! Dead!
- What is it? - I don't know.
Stand over here.
You mean right her whoa! Hey! hey! hey! It works! I am one can short of a 6-pack.
The lights! Who is that? Who's here? That thing I created, it's gone! Who could have penetrated my impenetrable fortress? My hair heater! Frylock, find out what kind of acid dissolves meat.
No! Don't do that! Yes, Meatwad, that's what we're doing.
- That's not what we're doing.
- Frylock! Look it up on the internet.
- Shut up, Meatwad.
- Let go of me! Go down to the park and step into the rainbow and you'll be rich with gold! Forward this to 20 people or we will burn your brain from the inside.
GO DOWN TO THE DAMN PARK!! Man, who would be stupid enough to check this out? All right, I'm gonna give this rainbow thing another 5 minutes.
And if it don't show up quick then I am going down to the store and get a hot rod magazine, 'cause they got the chicks with the boobs on there.
Excellent.
Another victim falls prey to my brilliant e-mail plan.
Soon, we will have enough treasure to rule all of New Jersey.
Flargin, he doesn't really look like he has any money or a job or a wallet.
Well, I'm sure he has some decent tennis shoes.
He doesn't even have pockets.
Look, he's wearing sweatpants.
Dingle, engage the rainbow machine! Yeah, here come the gold! Aw, look at this now, I don't see crap in there.
I know this game.
This is how they get you.
Yes, fat man, this IS how we get you! Hey there, where's the gold there? Flip-flops? What is this!? What did I say? No money, no job, no taste.
How ya doin there, bozo.
Give me the gold.
- Aw, Jesus! Don't do that! - Next time you come to the park, fat man, you wear your good shoes! Phew, this sure is relaxing, Frylock.
Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Master Shake said it would dissolve me, and then I would get clogged in the filter, and then beavers would come and eat me.
But that hasn't happened yet.
-Get ready! - Oh, great.
I'm about to cannonball-- What is THIS? - Hi, Master Shake.
- Meatwad, what are you doing in my pool? Look, I'm a meat-bouy.
Yes, where you should have a brain there's a cavity that keeps you afloat.
Isn't that something to be very proud of.
Look, I have a brain.
I just took it out so it wouldn't get wet.
Yeah, man.
He took his brain out.
It's cool.
Well, yeah, but but wait! You don't want the werewolf to see you swimming.
He will get jealous.
- Now you said - Oh, no! What's this - down here? - Nooooooo! Noooooooo! Did you see that? You're really sick, Shake, you know that? I am the lord of illusions.
Whoa, ouch.
Carl, are you alright? - Oh, my ribs.
- What happened? I got this e-mail to go to the park and step inside the rainbow and I'd get some gold.
Gold? Come on! Let's go get the gold! Wait.
I got that same e-mail, Carl.
Yeah, well don't go, okay? 'Cause that rainbow through me all over the place and then some little guy kicked my head in and took my chain.
And then you got the gold, so where's the gold? Where is it? You know what, Shake? Do go.
You'll have fun.
Hmm, it sounds like some sort of internet pyramid mugging scheme.
Oh, no! So what you're saying is this is a mystery and we gotta go solve it, right? I scheduled this day off over two weeks ago.
I made a memo.
Shake, we need to go down to the park and find out what's going on.
Uh, this is Wait! You said the park? I have a plan! Aqua Teen Hunger Force assemble! Watch out y'all.
Shake got a plan to catch all you perpetrators.
Hey, broad, let's date! Come look behind the tree, sweetie-baby! Come get the things I bought for you while they're nice! - What kind of a plan is this?! - You're absolutely right.
There's no girls here at all, I don't understand it.
We should of gone to the dry-cleaners.
Chicks love to clean.
Chicks? We're here to solve a mystery, Shake! I know, the mystery of where the women are, right? Come on, baby.
Come behind the tree and get some sugar! I'm starting to get a cramp.
Do not move or say anything.
You're scaring away all the babes with your fluids and diseases.
Look, I want to go back to ball shape.
I don't like being a man.
Well you're never gonna be a man with the way you act.
What in the hell is that? Ya know, this whole plan is just attracting a bunch of goobers.
What do their shoes look like? Seems kinda stupid doing this whole thing for shoes.
It's not just for shoes! It's it's Then for what? This Bananarama tape with no case? We really scored big on that one, didn't we, buddy? You.
shut up! Just.
.
just turn on the machine! Feet.
Look, that's the rainbow from Carl's e-mail! You're right, Shake.
Good work.
- Gold! I'm rich! - Shake, no! - What just happened? - That rainbow just took Shake away! Really, that is awful.
Let's go get some ice cream.
Wait, Meatwad.
We need to find him.
And when we find Shake, we'll find our culprits.
Or we could just get a new roomate.
Look, you go find him.
He don't yell at you.
All I ever try to do is make him smile and sing around him and dance around him and he just lays into me.
He told me to get in the freezer 'cause there was a carnival in there.
There wasn't no carnival, it was a damn freezer.
I got freezer burn and I got mushed up against that chicken Hang on, hang on a second, Meatwad.
My fry-dar is picking up some very small brain activity.
Yoo-hoo, I'm rich! - Great, he's alive! - Damn it.
Rich beyond my wildest imagination.
Get away from that, I call that one.
That pile's mine as well.
- No feet! - Yeah, that's right, ass.
No feet.
- What is this, a frisbee? - Get away from our precious treasure! You call this frisbee treasure? It's bent! This is crap! Where's the gold? Good question.
I told you we needed to be doing this in Antwerp, Flargin.
At least they have diamonds.
Well, Merle.
You know you don't have to be part of this plan.
Yeah, but I'm the only one that looks normal enough to to go into town and buy us food.
Isn't that right? Normal?! You're not even Irish! Look, I told you when we met that I was not a leprechaun, that I was from Rhode Island, and that I was half Korean and you said it didn't matter.
You're both yo-yos! Shut up, ya yo-yos.
Get rid of him! Look here, gnome, I'll save you the trouble.
Screw this.
I'm outta here.
- Shake, we found you! - Yes, that's amazing.
Wait, are those roller skates? Those ARE roller skates! Let's go.
They don't have nothing.
It's like a flea market threw up in there.
- Look, a Bananarama tape! - That's mine! Drop it where you are! So you're the ones sending all those e-mails, with this laptop, and then you're using this rainbow machine to mug people.
They are? That's right, they ARE! That's why I got here first.
Now you know too much! Turn on the machine! - You broke it! - Prepare to die! Look, we did not do it! We had nothing to do with it.
That machine was here when we got here.
- In fact, what happened - Stow it, pee-wee, I heard it all before.
Just save it for the judge bec Is that gold? It IS gold! You don't need a machine to make a rainbow.
For rainbows are made of happy thoughts, and dreams, and chocolate unicorns, and gumdrops, and licorice sunsets, and fuzzy gumdrop bears, and sugar-coated chocolate gumdrop land.
No way in hell! So, all we need to do is dream and a rainbow will come out and capture people and we can take their stuff? - What? - I mean, in theory, 'cause we didn't do it.
Wait a second, did you say you didn't do it? Cuz that's all I need to hear.
Come on, they didn't do it.
What about all this treasure? And the laptop, and the e-mails, and the rainbow machine? Well what about this chain? - What about it? - Look, it's glinting in the sunlight.
- RUN!!! - Oh great, now they're gone, Shake.
Yes, they escaped because you were trying to frame them.
So we need to get back so I can get this baby polished up before the night clubs open.
Come on, we're done.
That's what y'all get when y'all mess with then Aqua Teens.
Oh good, you're back.
Tell me you got those little green guys.
Carl, those green guys, turns out they didn't do it.
Oh, really? And so, this will remain one of the great unsolved mysteries of our times.
Wonderful.
While we're on the topic, what's that around your little straw thing there, dangling, like it's yours? Oh you like it? It's new.
Yeah, I do like it.
I liked it when I bought it.
Then maybe you can answer this for me.
Is it real gold? Because it's leaving like a little greenish streak on my lid.
SHHH! I'm trying to sleep, so that the real rainbow will come and The real rainbow! I did it! I brought happiness and joy to us all! - Wow! - Ohhh, good.
Well, I gotta go.
See ya later.
Oh! The dream house we've always dreamed about! - No feet! No feet! - Hang on, Dingle.
Flargen, where's it gonna land? - You heard him.
- Your dead punk! Dead!