Beef (2023) s01e02 Episode Script

1
[Amy] Starting my fucking day like this.
What the fuck?
I can't believe this shit!
Bitch-ass handyman
pissing on my fucking hardwood floor.
This is European oak, motherfucker!
"Ooh. Is your husband home?"
No! I'm home. Fuck you!
- Cocksucking piece of shit.
- [crow cawing]
Shut the fuck up!
I have worked too hard for this shit.
Look at this.
Oh, my God, the smell.
[line ringing]
[Danny] Hello?
Do you have any idea
who you just fucked with? Huh?
You useless, shameful little shit!
- I'm gonna
- Okay, bitch.
[call disconnects]
[line ringing]
You've reached
At Cho Service Construction.
- Danny can't come to the phone
- [screaming]
Babe?
What happened?
Yo, remember that guy
I got into that road rage with?
Turns out it was a woman.
Sometimes rock bottom is your trampoline.
I can't hear you.
[phone chimes]
"P.S. he pissed all over my bathroom.
One star." What the fuck?
Life is precious, man.
You can't waste it. You gotta take action.
If you're hungry, eat a steak.
If you want to feel the sun on your face,
it's right there.
See something you like, baby bro,
you go get it.
You gotta take control.
I am in control.
Oh, yeah?
What's your plan then?
I'm gonna take a shit,
then I'm gonna go play ball.
No, like, in your life.
Right now.
In your one precious life,
what is your plan?
Once you change my passwords back,
I'm going to become a crypto millionaire
and travel the world with my boys.
Okay, your boys.
What are you and boys gonna do?
Like, what's your boys' plan?
That's easy. Three Ten-X trades.
1K to 10K.
10K to a hundred.
A hundred to a million. Boom.
You're just saying higher numbers.
Well, what's your plan?
This steak is mad overcooked.
[phone chimes]
"Bad plumbing, bad breath!"
Honey, you shouldn't be cleaning up
another man's piss.
You never know
what someone's going through in life.
Might be bladder issues.
What?
Why else would he urinate on the floor?
Did you upset him?
- Why are you assuming it's my fault?
- I'm not.
But sometimes you can come across
a little cold.
George, he ran away smiling.
Okay. Well, anger is just
a transitory state of consciousness.
Best to let it go. He's already gone.
If we pay $80,
we can get his address online.
What do you wanna do?
Go over there with your gun?
No Of course not, I
George
he came into our home
and he violated our sacred space.
Don't you wanna
I don't know, to
go over there and say something?
You know, be assertive?
He didn't like that you're Japanese.
Are you sure we're at the right address?
It makes sense,
he didn't scream "homeowner" to me.
Are you enjoying this?
George! George, come here.
Look, look.
That is the back of an Asian head
if I've ever seen one.
Shit.
Okay.
You wanna talk first since you know him?
- No
- [man] Howdy there, love bugs.
Can I interest you in our best suite?
And don't worry,
it's the only question I'll ask you.
Oh, sorry. We're not trying to stay here.
We're looking for a Daniel Cho.
- What?
- He's a Korean guy.
Got a real, like, oily way about him.
Drives a red truck.
- Oh, the son.
- [Amy] Yeah.
I took over from the Cho family
about a year ago.
Older Korean couple,
a little condescending.
- That sounds about right.
- Amy.
They folded the place
because of a police raid.
Someone was running
illegal goods out of here.
Wow, I'm sorry to hear that.
But the son kind of sucks, right?
Yo, nice Taco. What year is that?
It's 2004.
- You missed the upgrade by a year.
- The old one's tougher.
- Plus, it's extra cab, pre-runner, V6.
- Oh, my bad.
Hey, thanks for letting me
store my shit here.
Yeah, man. Dude, any time.
Um
Hey, so the money I borrowed
Again, thank you.
It's gonna take me a bit longer
to pay you back, if that's cool?
Why?
Remember that road rage incident
I told you about?
Yeah.
Turns out it was a woman.
- You hit a woman?
- No.
- That's not okay.
- No, I did not hit anybody.
Okay? I just
I pissed in her bathroom
and now she's writing negative reviews
and killing my business.
Yo, is she hot? Is she fine?
She's some rich bitch from Calabasas.
She's probably sitting at home all day
eating baguettes and jam or some shit.
Yo, fuck that bitch.
- Take your time with the money.
- Really?
We're family. Just give me
the title to your truck in the meantime.
Help me with this. Use your legs.
Yeah.
You should just fold your business.
Start a new one.
I can't apply for a new business license.
You can. That shit's easy.
Just do it under someone else's name.
Use mine.
Okay. I'll think about it.
Yo, what is in this box? It's so heavy.
Laptop batteries.
I got a friend in Busan,
he sells me those shits wholesale.
Okay.
It's nothing like the motel.
Completely legit.
I'm paying tariffs, all that shit.
Yeah. No, of course. Yeah.
[Amy] Oh, shit.
You think they did it?
They're just kids.
Honey, have you never
changed a tire before?
Have you?
Well, Junie's gonna be
done with school soon.
- [George] Yeah, this is your fault.
- I'll change it for 40 bucks!
Do you have cash?
["Shine" playing over speakers]
It's all yours, bro.
Oh, God.
You know, make sure you pinch your back
when you get down there,
then also activate your core
Okay.
See, I did chest yesterday, so
Yo, I was thinking, man,
maybe it's crazy, but
I was thinking we should start
a new contracting company.
- As brothers.
- Why?
You call me lazy like 14 times a day.
That's just tough love.
You're ready to step up. I can tell.
You mean that?
Yeah.
I know you're big into your crypto,
and I'm gonna change the passwords back
but you need money to make money, right?
Yo, if we do this,
are you gonna actually listen to me?
Yeah.
'Cause I got ideas.
Yeah, we're a team. What you got?
Cho Bros.
Yo. That's perfect, dude.
- Cho Bros, that's perfect. Yes.
- Cho Bros.
Yes. I'll do the paperwork right now.
I'm gonna put the company in your name,
yeah?
Yeah.
Yo, we gotta target Orange County Koreans.
What? We don't know any OC Koreans.
Didn't Veronica move to the OC?
That's a delicate situation.
It's been like two decades.
I'm sure she doesn't give a shit.
Veronica and I hooked up in 2008
and twice in 2011, okay?
It was recent.
I thought she broke up with you
when she got into UC Irvine.
Who told you that?
I broke up with her.
Didn't she meet her husband at UC Irvine?
Yo, dude, you're taking too long.
Keep up.
I always liked Veronica.
- She taught me how to read.
- I wasn't ready.
I had to build up the business
before I could start a family, you know?
Plus I had to take care of you, fucker.
Yo, OC's the move, man.
Just trust me on this.
[camera clicks]
Naomi, thank you so much for coming over.
June was having the worst day.
No worries, of course.
George was so pissed.
I made us late picking her up and then
she hit a teacher.
Yeah. They called her dysregulated.
- Ew. Oh, my God.
- I know.
Do not beat yourself up over that.
Izzy bit our neighbor's dog.
- No.
- I know.
Usually it's the other way around, right?
We should do this more. We live so close.
Yeah, we should, I would love that.
I can't believe we met through Jordan,
of all people.
Oh, my God. I know, right? It's so crazy.
Uh, hey, do you think
she's gonna be annoyed
that I rescheduled my meeting with her
because of June?
No. No, you had to.
But actually, between you and me,
don't say it was a family thing.
I'd say it was a work emergency.
Oh, okay. Good to know.
You wanna choose your words wisely
with my sister-in-law.
If you ever need any advice,
call me anytime.
Aw. Thank you so much, Naomi.
I just really need this deal to close.
- Straight up. You know?
- Oh, my God. Yeah.
I just,
I have been so on edge lately and
God, I am so jealous.
It must be nice getting
to spend all day at home with Izzy.
Yeah! No, it's great
but I don't spend all day at home.
- Oh. No, of course, I didn't mean
- Yeah, I have my nonprofits. And I write.
And Jordan comes to me
- for business advice from time to time.
- I heard that. Yes, I
- That's a lot to juggle.
- Yeah.
Then when Jordan gets on a roll,
she will just text me non-stop.
And we talk stocks,
we talk omnichannel retail
I sent this one video to her recently.
Did you see the road rage thing
on Nextdoor?
- Is that an app?
- Oh, my gosh, look at this.
I mean, can you believe that?
I can't understand
what those people are so angry about.
Ah, you know, I mean,
most people don't understand that
anger is just a transitory state
of consciousness.
I love that.
You're so smart, Amy.
No, really. No wonder Jordan loves you.
[Paul] All I'm saying is, Veronica,
we grew up together, you know us,
we know you, you trust us, you know?
Uh, we do maintenance, renovations, paint,
yard work, inside work, like everything.
Anything you need.
We do it all.
Right, Danny?
Yeah, I'm the king of grout.
We also do grout.
I mean, that's all very impressive.
- Yeah, I hear grout's tricky. Mm-hm.
- Mm-hm.
Um, is there anything we can work on?
Yeah.
Uh, the place is pretty good for now,
but if anything comes up,
we'll be sure to give you a call.
And if you're around more,
you should swing by our church.
Edwin leads praise team.
Oh, that's cool.
We don't go to church anymore, but
Uh, we still We sometimes do.
Yeah. Stop by.
The more the merrier.
[Veronica] Here.
Remember that fussy overhead projector
at our old church?
Gosh, we were so different then.
- I remember everything.
- I remember too.
[phone buzzes]
Hey, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna make a real quick call.
Our friend Esther
was just complaining about her plumber.
- Oh.
- Yo, what's going on?
[Isaac] Nothing much, man.
I'm just finishing up taking a shit.
Rubbing some Cortizone on my back.
You texted "9-1-1."
Oh, shit. Yeah, I did.
Remember that guy Chad
who lived at the motel?
Yeah.
Well, dude, he still lives there
and his life's a mess, man.
I think he has gout.
Okay
so?
Dude, get this.
So I lent him some money for his meds,
but I don't think he used it on them.
- What are you trying to say?
- I'm getting to it.
We can't just chill
and have small talk sometimes?
We talk small all the time,
like, all the time.
All right, fine, look, he said
an Asian couple was looking for you.
They looked rich.
What does this bitch want from me?
She got a house, she has kids.
What do I got?
Dude! You got lots of shit, man.
You got me, got your truck.
Technically it's mine now
Yeah, okay. Yeah, all right.
- Thanks for the heads up.
- Yeah, no problem.
- I gotta go.
- Hit me up whenever.
[shushing]
[phone chimes]
Who was that?
Uh, it was probably just spam.
Let me help you with that. Turn around.
It's fine, I can do it.
Oh, I don't mind.
Makes you dependent on me
so you can't leave.
I can tie a tie.
George, come on,
you still mad about earlier?
No, just let me tie my tie.
I'm gonna go check on June.
Okay.
- [Danny on recording] Listen
- I decided not to wear it.
[Danny] Listen to me. I'm a dangerous guy.
You're just a bored, suburban housewife
with no purpose, okay?
I bet you're mad at yourself
for letting your whole life pass you by.
I bet you had big dreams.
Anything was possible.
Then you blinked.
And now you're stuck
in a life you never wanted.
You have it all, but you're empty inside.
You feel weak,
you want to take back control.
Well, guess what.
You won't take it from me, okay?
I'm a fucking animal!
I can't be fucked with!
I do the fucking!
So stop messing with me
and leave me alone or else.
You hear me?
This is your last warning.
You do not want to unleash the beast.
You don't!
[screen grab clicks]
[screen grab clicks]
[phone chimes]
Who the fuck?
- [Esther] I'm so glad Veronica sent you.
- [Paul] No problem, Esther.
[Esther] So are you from Orange County?
[Paul]
No, we grew up outside San Bernardino.
My parents owned a motel
near Raging Waters.
[Esther] Nice. That must've done well.
Apparently, before I was born.
And then Hurricane Harbor opened up, so
I've never really been to either.
We should go. Harbor?
Oh, it's sick.
There's this ride, Taboo Towers.
Got one way up, three ways down.
It's unpredictable.
Kind of like how I live my life.
Anyways, I do investing.
This is like my side gig.
- So if you ever need investing advice
- [metal clangs]
- Um, I'll be right back.
- Okay.
- Yo. You done yet?
- I would be if you were helping me
instead of flirting
with the customer base.
Dude, it's called client services.
[phone chimes]
Do not text on the job.
- Who is that?
- Her name's Kayla.
Yo, she's bad, right?
This is a bot.
You're a bot.
[phone chimes]
[Fumi] Following our marriage
in the summer of 1979,
Haru became deeply conscious
of negative space.
Oh, he fell in love with the interplay
between void and substance.
So naturally,
the curvature of the seat
is modeled after the contours
of my own backside.
- [woman] Oh, fabulous.
- [man] That's amazing.
Fumi, we're so grateful
to have a Tamago chair on loan.
I'd love to get your eyes
on our other pieces.
Quite the origin story for a chair, huh?
Jordan, thank you so much for coming.
Thank you for having me. Who is this?
[Amy] Oh, this is Junie. June, say hi.
Okay, hopefully she'll get more polite
as she gets older.
So tell me,
is all of that true or made up?
I'm sorry, what?
A good story drives the price, as we know.
I have photos of my mom
sitting naked on the mold.
Really?
How much?
It's not for sale.
George?
I'm sure that there's a price.
Sorry. Gotta put my foot down.
Joji, Joji, Joji. Let's not play games.
A hundred thousand.
How's that?
Nope. No way, Jordana.
This exhibit has been great.
Thank you so much for having me,
but I should be leaving. Cheers.
You know, I thought we could hang out
and talk about the deal?
I really need to
get to my friend's housewarming.
It's in Nepal, so
Bye-bye.
Hey! Cheers, baby bro!
Here's to making the most
of the time we got left!
Yo, I said cheers!
[hip-hop music playing over speakers]
Hey, man. When you're 40, 50,
you're gonna wanna come home to your girl
making kimchi jjigae.
Maybe I want her to come home
to me making chicken parm.
What?
I want her to come home
to me making her chicken parm!
It's okay to mess around
with white girls now,
but when you settle down,
listen to Mom and Dad,
bring home a nice Korean girl, you know?
You think they'll want
their grandkids looking up at them
with huge round eyes, like fucking bugs?
Yo, you waste way too much time
following arbitrary rules.
Why you talking all weird?
"I gotta build my business
before I start a family."
"I gotta listen to Mom and Dad
and bring home a nice Korean girl."
Bro, just
just live.
I am living.
All right.
[music continues]
I thought you wanted me
to be more assertive.
Yeah, not now.
There's millions of dollars on the line.
She hasn't even sent the term sheet.
There are more important things
than money.
I spent two years
putting this deal together
and the least you could do is help me.
Excuse me?
- Yeah.
- I do help. I help all the time.
It's like you have no awareness
of how much I have on my plate right now.
I bust my ass for this family.
Hey, so do I.
- Those vases don't just make themselves.
- They also don't make money.
You are obsessed with money.
That's all you ever talk about.
George, I didn't grow up the way you did.
Okay?
You ever notice
how it's only people who have money
that think money isn't important?
The Buddha is only the Buddha
because he was a prince first, right?
He had stuff to renounce.
If money is gonna drive us apart,
then I renounce.
We can't renounce
because all your dad left us
was tables and chairs.
This is a celebration of chairs.
[June] Hi, Mommy!
I wish you would unload
the dishwasher sometimes.
I barely have time
to eat off of those dishes.
Babe, it takes five minutes.
- [phone buzzes]
- Or we could do it together.
- Turn on music, make it fun
- I know. I just, um
I hear you, let's just try to enjoy
the rest of the evening, okay?
Please don't sit on the art.
Oh.
Okay.
George, I'm just curious,
why are you "liking"
my employee's Instagram photos?
I am supporting your business.
Liking Mia's bikini pics
is helping my business
- how?
- I don't look at the photos.
- I just read the captions.
- Do you think I'm stupid?
When will you just be honest?
Is it honesty time?
- Is that what we're doing now?
- What?
- Oh, my God.
- Hmm?
Still with that gun?
When you gonna let that go?
When you tell me why
you're always taking it out of the safe.
I didn't want to own a gun, remember?
It was your mother's idea.
Were you going to hurt someone?
- No! George
- Do I need to be concerned for my safety?
Or for June's safety?
I was masturbating.
I was masturbating with the gun
because sex with you is so, um
is so, uh
So what? Say it? So what?
It's vanilla.
It's vanilla, George.
Is this about the piss?
The piss?
If it's about the piss, say it is.
Maybe in a way it is about the piss.
George, he pissed in the house I bought,
all by myself.
That house that I don't even get to enjoy
because I'm always busy working.
When do I get to enjoy something, huh?
Who's gonna buy Amy something?
Amy is.
Amy's gonna buy Amy something.
You can't give up one fucking chair?
I just wanna be taken care of.
Yeah. Well
I don't fuck guns.
["Same Squad" playing]
This one's on me.
Sorry, my boss is watching.
All good.
Yo, kids these days, man.
If I was their age, game over
[music continues]
I guess, when you think about it,
the ground is the original chair.
[indistinct chatter]
[phone buzzes]
[Amy on recording]
Now you listen to me, Daniel.
I would love to let this go.
I have a very full life
that I'd love to get back to.
Oh, it's so full.
You wouldn't know what to do
with its fullness.
But here's the thing.
Actions have consequences.
So I'm gonna find you
and take what little you have.
[dramatic music playing]
What are you doing?
Let's go. Come on.
Hey, this is my brother, Danny
[indistinct chatter]
Danny, we can all
fit in your truck, right?
Yo.
Holy shit.
Damn.
Let's go drink more, it's fine.
- Get off me.
- Don't fuck this up.
- I got two cuties
- Get off.
Dude, I'm trying to fucking help you.
You're not helping me.
Seriously, get the fuck off me!
Fuck you!
You're fired from Cho Bros!
I'm fired? You're fired.
I came up with the name.
You can't fire me, you fucking idiot.
The company's under my name,
I can fire whoever I want,
including you, bitch.
Are you kidding me? It's not real yet!
I asked you because I can't use my name!
Whose name are you going to use?
Mom, Dad? You don't have anyone else!
Isaac offered.
Get the fuck out of here, man.
Isaac?
Really?
[Amy] Hey, babe.
How was the rest of the evening?
I put June to bed.
Thank you for doing that, honey.
Amy
We need to talk.
Yeah.
I think we need couples therapy
and I know how you feel about this
Let's do it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, George, I
I still remember our first date,
thinking
"Wow, we are a perfect pair."
And I want us to stay that way.
I do. I
I love you.
I love you.
Oh, shit.
["Cornflake Girl" playing]
Never was a cornflake girl ♪
Thought it was a good solution ♪
Hanging with the raisin girls ♪
She's gone to the other side ♪
Giving us the yo heave ho ♪
Things are getting kind of gross ♪
And I go at sleepy time ♪
This is not really
This, this, this is not really happening ♪
You bet your life it is ♪
You bet your life it is ♪
Honey, you bet your life ♪
It's a peel out the watchword ♪
Just peel out the watchword ♪
She knows what's going on ♪
Seems we got a cheaper feel now ♪
All the sweeteaze are gone ♪
Gone to the other side ♪
With my encyclopedia ♪
They must have paid her a nice price ♪
She's putting on her string bean love ♪
This is not really
This, this, this is not really happening ♪
You bet your life it is ♪