Black Scorpion (2001) s01e02 Episode Script

(suspenseful music)
- [Mayor's Aid] Isn't it my turn to drive?
- You drove last time.
- No I didn't, you did.
- You just think I did cus we look alike.
Really, it was you.
- Well, how do I know I'm not driving now?
- Because I am.
- [Mayor's Aid] We've got trouble.
- [Mayor's Aid] What kind of trouble?
- The worst kind.
- Do you see what I mean?
Pick-up is slow.
- Aw, you're just not
giving it enough gas.
- What are you talking
about, I'm flooring it.
- Dude, you drive like my
grandma, but you look better.
- What's that?
(computer beeping)
- [Argyle] Toxic counter.
- I didn't know the
Scorpiomobile had one of those.
- It's because you never
had to use it before.
- Use it for what?
- Detecting toxic waste.
- Where's that truck heading?
- I don't know but it's
got enough toxic waste
to turn your ass green!
- Black Scorpion.
(sirens wailing)
This is the police,
pull over to the side of the
road and you won't get hurt.
- Step on it, Blue!
- I've the pedal to the metal.
- Well in that case, why don't
you bring the car in tomorrow
and, and I'll test it out.
- Attention all units,
Scorpiomobile headed north
on Paris Parkway.
(music turns dramatic)
Black Scorpion, this
is your final warning.
She asked for it.
(gunshots firing)
- They're shooting!
- So, the car's bullet proof.
- Yeah but those barrels ain't!
- They're shooting at us.
- [Mayor's Aid] What do you
mean they're shooting at us?
- What do you think I mean,
they're shooting at us!
(gunshots firing)
- We've got to stop this bullets.
- Try the Stingray.
- No, I don't know want
to hurt a fellow officer.
- Well I guess that rules out the arsenal!
- And the flame thrower.
(tires squealing)
- Get us outta here, will ya?
- I'll lose em.
- So what do you we do?
- Let's give em an oil change.
(brakes squealing)
(cars colliding)
(glass shattering)
(laughing)
- Now that's what I call give em the slip!
- Speaking of which.
- Where'd they go?
(explosion)
- Fire.
(dramatic music)
- [Narrator] In the light of
day, Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night,
she becomes Black Scorpion.
Doing with a mask what
she can't do with a badge.
- Bombs away!
- B'bye!
(laughing)
- Another job well done.
- You think the mayor will be happy?
- Why not?
Now we'll have enough kickbacks
for two reelection campaigns.
- Not kick backs, contributions.
- Right.
- Evolution got it wrong, boys.
Man is inferior to marine life.
After all, you don't see fish
dumping their trash on shore, do ya?
- All this talk about fish
has got me hungry for seafood.
- Mmm, how about calamari tonight?
- If I were you I wouldn't eat anything
that came out of Angel Bay.
(device beeps)
Okay, let's do it.
These are the most toxic
waters I've ever seen!
- What can do about it?
- Get the mayor to authorize
my cleanup proposal.
- Nah he said it would cost too much.
- Not as much as the
bad publicity will cost.
Oh no!
- What's wrong?
(device beeping)
- This is worse than I thought.
Someone is dumping toxic waste here!
- Are you positive?
- I'm absolutely
Oh no!
(coughing)
- Lady, lady wake up.
- Where, where am I?
- Hey the beach is for
relaxing, not sleeping.
How about you go sober up somewhere else?
- No you don't understand, my
two assistants are missing.
- Yeah, I know your assistants real well.
Mr Gin and Mr Tonic.
Now look you gotta move the party
or else I'm gonna give you a ticket.
- People are using our ocean as a sewer,
and all you can think
about is writing tickets?
(mysterious music)
- Oh, that's weird!
- Look at me when I'm talking to you!
I said look at me!
- What are you?
(thunder clapping)
- [Strickland] Everyone goes
to Vegas for their anniversary.
- Hey what's up, ya humps?
- Strickland's wife wants to
go on a cruise for their 20th.
- And he's scared to death of the water!
Won't even go near a pool!
(laughing)
- Shh!
- [Strickland] Okay Pumpkin
Pie, anything you say.
You're right, you're right,
the cruise'll be great, I can't wait.
See ya tonight.
- Go! Go! Go! Go, god!
(clears throat)
- How'd the Vegas idea go, Cap?
- She gave me a choice, cruise or alimony.
- Hi guys, sorry I'm late.
- Walker!
I want to see you in a bikini right away!
- Excuse me?
- A lifeguard was assaulted
by some crazy broad
screaming about toxic waste
being dumped into Angel Bay.
I want you and Rafferty
under cover as beach goers.
- Come on Cap, we can do that!
I just got a new speedo!
It's red with a little green stripe,
it kinda makes me look
like I'm smuggling plums.
Do you think that's a bad thing?
- That's enough outta you!
This isn't gonna be some day at the beach!
Well I guess it is gonna
be a day at the beach,
but not the way you think!
Besides I got another job for you two.
I want you to go down to Army Surplus
and get me a life vest.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Maybe something in
a nice, canary yellow.
- [Slugger] Whatever you say.
- Oh and pick me up a
box of seasickness pills.
On second thought, you
better make that a crate!
Oh and see if they've got
an inflatable life raft!
- This is Kate Montgomery
reporting live from the pier.
In a statement from City
Hall, the mayor has vowed
to investigate the allegations
that a chemical company
is dumping toxic waste into Angel Bay.
Back to you, Don.
(switches TV off)
(laughing)
- Yeah, like that.
- Vow to investigate, I like that.
- Well I thought it had
a little ring to it.
(laughing)
- Speaking of rings,
I could use a nice, big
diamond on this finger.
- What's the count?
- [Both Aids] 15 grand.
- That's all!
That's it!
I want to see that
number at least doubled!
Find another plant that
needs their toxic waste
dumped at a cut cost.
- [Both Aids] Yes, Mr Mayor.
- And Babette,
set up a press conference
where I express my
deep concern for the environment,
and my love of sea life.
- Well what do you think of this?
This looks like a good spot.
- For what?
- We might as well get
a tan while we're here!
- Nice, nice.
You know this is not very professional.
We shouldn't be mixing business
with pleasure, you know?
- Steve, we have to blend in.
Come on it's part of the assignment.
- Oh alright, alright.
- Put some lotion on my back?
- For what!
- Well I don't want to burn!
Come on!
(sighs)
- Okay.
- [Darcy] Oh, that feels nice!
- Shouldn't we be like,
conducting an investigation?
You know looking for bad guys?
- Don't worry, I've got my eyes open.
Could you do my legs too?
- Okay.
- [Darcy] Thanks.
- Okay, if you insist.
It's really getting hot out here.
- Yeah it is.
Do you want me to do you?
- Excuse me?
- Your back!
- Oh, oh! (laughing)
No, no no no, that's, I'm good, I'm good.
- Are you sure?
- I'm sure, I don't burn bad at all.
- Alright.
- Look, there's something in the water!
Run for your lives!
(dramatic music)
- Go!
I don't see anything, do you?
- No.
- On three.
One,
two,
three!
Alright, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hold it right there.
(exclaiming)
(groaning)
- Tender Loving?
Tender Loving!
- What are you shouting about?
- Have you seen my socket wrench?
With the multi-purpose, two way,
magnetic, adjustable power grip?
(scoffs)
- Can you be a little more specific?
- It's a long metal thingamajig.
- Well why didn't you say so, yeah, yeah.
It's right,
here.
- Baby you are a lifesaver.
What would I do without you?
Except maybe my laundry.
- Excuse me?
- That's why I can't find anything!
All these dirty clothes are piling up!
I wanna know when are you
gonna do something about it?
- What do you want me to do?
- Clean em like you were supposed to!
- Like I what!
- You my girl right?
- But I'm not your maid!
- Oh no, remember that little
French outfit I bought for you
with the feather duster
in the back remember?
And you would bend--
- No that was just a fantasy,
just like you getting
me to do your laundry.
- Well what are you
gonna do about it then?
- I'm going on strike!
- You goin, after all I?
Well that goes double for me!
These clothes are gonna
have to clean themselves
if they gonna get clean!
- Fine!
Just make sure you stand downwind from me!
(ominous music)
- Blood sample datas
from Thursday the 18th.
80% rise in blood alkaloids.
Spectrum analysis shows
unexplained presence
of radioactive isotopes in red cells.
Unexplained, hell this is toxic waste!
I should be dead!
(sneezes)
Welcome back, boys.
Are you having calamari,
or is it having you?
(gushing)
You don't say, and how are you doing?
(gushing)
Seems to be going around.
- What happened to us?
Suddenly I yearn for the open sea.
- I've grown tentacles in funny places.
- Well my initial findings
show that the toxic waste
has triggered a sudden and
massive mutation of our DNA.
And I know have a strong
psychokinetic bond
with oceanic elements.
The tide, water, and wind.
And the two of you?
Let's just say you've become
what you love most, squid.
- I have ordered a team of investigators
to work around the clock.
If there is chemical dumping
going on in Angel Bay,
I will get to the bottom
of it and that's a promise!
- You're not the only one who
can blow hot air, Mr Mayor.
(TV explodes)
(laughing)
- Thank you.
(suspenseful music)
(air rushing)
- It's a hurricane!
- Yes I am!
And you're all in my eye!
Squids!
(yelling)
(laughing)
They also do the New York
Times crossword in ink, too.
Now then, what do you
say we get wet and wild?
(laughing)
(thunder clapping)
- [Officer On Radio] Attention all units,
robbery in progress at First Angel's Bank.
Suspect has identified
herself as Hurricane.
Be sure to wear your raincoats.
- I declare this bank a disaster area!
Squids, clean it out!
(whooping)
(laughing)
- Rafferty!
Some broad calling herself Hurricane
is trying to sink Angel City Bank.
You and Walker get down there ASAP.
- Darcy's not here yet.
- Well then take Morons
One and Two with you.
- Is he talking to us?
- [Slugger] No, we're Idiots One and Two!
- Move it!
(laughing)
- Alright Squids, that's about
enough to keep us afloat.
(laughing)
- From where I stand,
you're dead in the water.
- Well, look what we have here.
It's an itsy bitsy spider.
Well beware Spider!
Because I'm gonna take this town by storm!
(wind rushing)
(groaning)
- [Black Scorpion] Ow!
(laughing)
- What's the matter, Black Scorpion?
Feeling a little under the weather?
That was just the calm before the storm.
(laughing)
(thunder clapping)
- Hurricane!
- They say lightning never
strikes the same place twice.
(thunder clapping)
(laughing)
(thunder clapping)
I guess they were wrong.
(suspenseful music)
The itsy bitsy spider
went up the water spout ♪
Down came the rain and
washed the spider out ♪
(laughing)
- Computer, engage Stingray.
Fire!
Fire!
Computer, release locks!
- Goodbye Itsy Bitsy Spider.
(laughing)
Let's blow this place, Squids! (laughing)
(electricity zapping)
- No!
No!
Well?
- Well, you flooded the engine!
- I didn't do it, Hurricane did.
Can you waterproof it?
- I could, but the water is
the least of your problems.
The negative ions in Hurrican's storm?
They're scrambling the
Scorpiomobile's computer.
- So that means the car isn't
going to respond to me at all.
Right.
- Check this out, eh?
We'll get it to run and talk to me baby.
Yeah, she knows who the man is.
Listen to that eh?
- Hey folks Sonny Day here
with a look at the weather.
At present we have a mild storm front
pushing in toward Angel Pier
with a cool breeze falling off.
- If that sweater-wearing fool
knows what's good for him,
he'll clean up his act, and his laundry!
- But don't you worry folks,
you'll be firing up those
barbecues soon enough
cus it's gonna be another
picture perfect weekend
here in the Southland.
(dramatic music)
(wind rushing)
- I would take out those
barbecues just yet.
Greetings, gross polluters of the ocean!
I am Hurricane, and I am
here with a weather warning.
Unless Mayor Worth authorizes
a $10 million cleanup
of the toxic waste of Angel Bay,
I will be forced to take
matters into my own hands.
- $10 million!
Where am I gonna come up
with that kinda money!
- Your campaign fund?
- Not on your life!
Or anybody else's.
- With my newly acquired
funds from First Angel's Bank,
I have built a cyclonic magnifier.
- A cyclonic what?
- The machine will increase my own powers,
generating a Class Seven
hurricane. (laughing)
- There's no way my
ship's gonna leave port
with a hurricane coming!
I'm saved!
- Until the hurricane gets here!
- What are you guys sitting around for!
All hands on deck!
Batten down the hatches!
- The storm will be strong enough
to wipe out the entire City of Angels.
- Well that sucks!
- Actually, it blows!
(laughing)
The mayor has until morning
to give me his answer.
But make no mistake about it,
gross polluters of the ocean,
I will get what I want,
come hell or high water.
And for you, hell is
high water. (laughing)
- Our findings show that
there's absolutely no evidence
to support Hurricane's claim.
(shutter clicking)
- What about her claim that
she's built a cyclonic magnifier?
- Pure science fiction!
I have consulted with our
state's leading meteorologists,
and they assure me there is no such thing
as a cyclonic magnifier! (laughing)
- But there is, Mr Mayor.
(ominous music)
Believe me, there is.
- [Squid] Hurricane, high pressure system
moving in from the south.
- How long until it's within range?
- [Squid] About an hour at most!
(alarm buzzing)
- Well, looks like we have company.
- [Squid] Who are they?
- [Hurricane] I don't know,
but I'm going to find out.
Can I help you?
- I hope so, we're looking for Dr Waters.
- I'm Gail Waters, and you are?
- Detective Rafferty, CAPD.
This is my partner Detective Walker.
- Am I under arrest?
- No, nothing like that.
Angel Tech referred us to you,
they said you're a leading
expert in marine biology?
- Well I have written a few books.
- Good, could we ask
you a couple questions?
- [Gail] About what?
- Hurricane.
- Well hurricanes are tropical rainstorms
with high velocity winds ranging anywhere
from 74 to 185 miles per hour.
Now they're usually accompanied
by thunder and lightning,
and they swirl clockwise
in the Southern Hemisphere
and counterclockwise in
the Northern Hemisphere.
- Doc, this is all wonderful,
but we were actually
referring to a criminal,
who goes by the alias Hurricane.
- Criminal?
- Yeah, she's gone on TV threatening
to wipe out the entire city with
something called a cyclonic magnifier?
- I'm afraid I don't watch much TV.
- Regardless, is such a weapon
of mass destruction possible?
- Theoretically, yes.
- Theoretically?
- Well, Hurricane could
build a wind tunnel
with a capability of magnifying
a high pressure system,
but that wouldn't be very
practical without a power source.
One that would emit a mass
of negative ions as energy.
- Well unfortunately Doctor,
she's the power source.
- Then I would take her threats
very seriously if I were you.
Detective Walker?
- Eh, oh, I'm sorry.
I was just wondering what was under here.
- That's the reason I don't watch much TV.
- Excuse me?
- It's my telescope.
Its lens is highly sensitive to light
so I keep it covered during the day.
It protects it from exposure to the sun.
- Oh speaking of sunburn.
- I told you, you should've
let me rub lotion on your back.
- It's a little bit late for
that, isn't it Miss Walker?
- No.
Not really.
(sultry music)
- [Rafferty] Darcy, I
don't need moisturizer.
- Yes, you do.
(scoffs)
- Is this gonna take long?
- I hope so.
- What?
- I said I hope no.
I mean not!
(keyboard keys clicking)
- Dr Waters!
High pressure system
300 miles and closing!
- Right on schedule.
How's the humidity?
- 85%, and rising.
- Excellent.
Power up.
(energy surging)
- Powered! (laughing)
- Lock on target.
(ominous music)
(laughing)
- Target locked!
- Standby.
- Standing by!
- Initiate.
(sighs)
(laughing)
(gasping)
- Initiating.
(laughing)
(sultry music)
- God you are so tense!
- I just feel so stupid.
- Well maybe next time
you'll put on some sunblock.
- No.
Not about that.
About this.
- What, getting a back rub?
- Yeah, getting a back
rub, it's just very,
(sighs) it's unprofessional.
- Why are you always so worried
about being professional?
- You see that scar on my shoulder?
- Yeah.
- That's why.
- [Darcy] I don't understand.
- I had this friend in the precinct, Jim.
At the liquor store holdup,
the perp grabbed Jim by surprise
and he took him as hostage.
And he put a gun to his head and he said
if I didn't throw down my piece
he would blow off his head.
- What did you do?
- What the hell could I do?
You know I knew it was against policy
to throw down your gun but I,
I thought it would save Jimmy's life.
- Did it?
- He shot him in the head.
Point blank.
And I took a round in the shoulder.
And from that day forward,
I swore that I would never
get too close to anyone again.
You see now all I got is a
dog and I shoot him every year
and then get a new one and
that way I don't get attached.
(chuckling)
- Wow.
And I thought, this
whole time the reason you
didn't mix business with pleasure
was because you didn't care.
- No.
No Darc, it's because I do.
(thunder clapping)
(glass shattering)
(suspenseful music)
(wind roaring)
(electricity zapping)
(exclaiming)
- I don't like the wind!
(shouting)
- What are you doing!
- My laundry!
- But there's a hurricane coming!
- I know, all that water and wind
is gonna do my washing and drying!
- Come inside, fool!
- Hey now if I don't do
it, nobody else will!
(gasping)
- What are
What are the numbers?
- [Squid] Winds are at 47%,
cloud mass radiating
150 miles from center.
(laughing)
- Yes.
More!
Bigger!
(energy surging)
(suspenseful music)
Come on! Feed!
Suck up that warm water!
(laughing)
Surf's up!
(tires squealing)
(electricity zapping)
- The storm known as Hurricane Hurricane,
has been classified as Class Seven.
It is now only 100 miles out,
and heading directly into City of Angels.
- I'd be safer on the Titanic!
- Hey, are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Just, my heart's beating a mile a minute.
- Mine too.
(thunder clapping)
I should go.
- What about the storm?
- Well, the storm's a storm, I'll be okay.
- Are you sure you just
don't wanna stay here?
- I shouldn't stay here, it's not a good,
I mean you know with the storm and all
we're in a state of emergency so I should
really get back to the precinct.
- I know.
I'm just worried about you
driving in this weather.
- Neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night
can stop me from making
my appointed rounds!
Haha!
(claps hands)
- Is that your mailman?
- No he's, he's my mechanic.
- You have a mechanic
that makes house calls?
- It's a long story.
- You know I'd love to hear it sometime,
but I've gotta hit the road.
I'll call you from the station.
- Is that your type?
- No, that's, that's Steve, my partner.
- Good because he's too short for you!
And his body's all frumpy.
- What are you doing, driving
my car in this weather?
- Well, how else am I gonna
test the new storm deflectors?
Check it out, the system is
surge proof, waterproof,
and hurricane proof!
The core is a microprocessor that
will detect masses of negative ions,
and produce a flux of positive ones
through the parabolic antenna.
- So the storm will be neutralized?
- Now you can stop
Hurricane and her hurricane.
- Yeah.
If I only knew where she was.
- Well she's got to be close to the water,
so that her cyclonic
magnifier can do its thing?
- Any idea what it would look like?
- Big, 15 feet tall and funnel shaped.
Like an inverted telescope.
- Telescope?
(suspenseful music)
- Why are you looking at me like that?
- Argyle, why would a marine
biologist need a telescope?
- Got me, everything they study
is under the water, not over it.
- Exactly.
- You know something else?
Every scientist in this
city that went to college
turned out to be a supervillain.
That's why I never went to college!
(suspenseful music)
- What the?
- Winds out of the South at
175 miles per hour and rising!
- The eye is three miles wide!
(laughing)
- Who knew that destroying the
city would be such a breeze?
(laughing)
- Angel Bay will be cleaned
up, just as you vowed!
- Not to mention the whole damn city!
- Computer, engage Stingray.
Fire.
(explosion)
(brakes squealing)
- Black Scorpion!
- Give it up, Hurricane!
- Never!
This city is going under!
- Sorry, you'll have to take a rain check.
- I don't think so.
Squids!
(laughing)
- Hurricane!
What are you doing?
- Destroying the machine.
- [Black Scorpion] Why!
- Because it's the only way
you can stop the hurricane.
- I don't mean to rain on your parade,
but I know another way.
(grunting)
(laughing)
- I don't mean to make
waves Black Scorpion,
but then again, maybe I do? (laughing)
(grunting)
Ha!
(glass shattering)
- Freeze!
- If you arrest me, the city drowns.
- What are you talking about?
- I know how to neutralize the storm.
- I don't believe you.
- You have to.
- If this is a trick, I swear to god--
- This is not a trick!
Engage Storm Stabilizer.
- What can I do to help?
- Get me that hose.
Okay, you ready?
Here it goes.
(exclaiming)
(magnifier exploding)
Out came the sun ♪
And dried up all the rain ♪
The itsy bitsy spider ♪
Went up the spout again ♪
- I don't believe it.
No damage, the storm didn't even touch it.
- What?
- The cruise ship!
It's honky dory and I leave
first thing in the morning.
- Cap, Cap you okay?
- I think I'm gonna be seasick.
- There she blows!
(soft singing)
- I am a genius!
Thank you Hurricane!
- What are you thanking her for?
- For doing my laundry!
Fresh as an ocean breeze!
- You're pathetic.
- Yeah but at least I'm clean!
(humming)
(air hissing)
- Look at this, I've never
seen the water so clear.
- It's a beautiful view.
- You know the Lieutenant,
that's what I used to call my dad,
he proposed to my mom right
here at this very spot.
- Well, I have a proposal for you.
Dinner.
- Well what about your rule
not to mix business with pleasure?
- Well we both gotta eat, right?
What do you say?
- Okay you're on, anything but seafood.
- You got it.
(suspenseful electronic music)