Boat Story (2023) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Remember Janet?
Remember this? And remember,
she's got a new hand now.
And she used to live with this guy
and raised his son like her own.
Only now they broke up and she is
not allowed to see him any more,
which is shit. That's shit.
Oh, and Alan thinks his dad
is hiding something from him.
Anyway, Janet met a guy
called Samuel on the beach
and they found this.
And Samuel said
I think I know someone who'd give us
a lot of money for this.
And Janet was like
Where would we keep it?
But as Samuel left the beach,
someone was watching.
Meanwhile, the mysterious tailor
wanted to know
So he sent his men to search
the police evidence room.
They didn't find nothing.
Even left some
evidence of their own behind.
We also met a police officer
called Arthur
And The Tailor reckoned
You have something of mine, I think.
And Arthur went
You gotta find me first.
Then the last thing that
happened was this.
And hell knows what that was about.
Anyway, let's get started, shall we?
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Jesus.
Not quite.
Although they do say
He works in mysterious ways.
Why aren't you calling the police?
Do you want me to?
Why would we not?
That's what I'm asking.
It's a question.
I know it's a question.
Look at him.
He can smell it now -
the alluring stink of opportunity.
What is it people call it? Right -
the horns of a dilemma.
But I know what's right.
I know what I need to ask him.
I need to turn to him and I need to
say - we can't just keep it.
'Ere. I've found it.
It's not some five-pound note
Wow!
Wow indeed.
I'm gonna just wait
No. Stick around.
You might learn something.
Sit down.
Filled with treats and surprises.
My future's in that box.
Our future, Janet.
Let's take it.
Very well.
Whatever lies before us,
whatever fate has in store,
we must remember this
..we made our bed, Samuel.
And we
..must lie in it.
In it, we must lie.
Yeah.
If the world's a stage
and we are merely players,
remember that whatever the game,
some players always feel left out.
Cheers. Sorry.
Like they just don't fit in.
I think that's everything.
Thanks. No wozza.
Oh, boss asked to see you.
Said he wants you on this.
Me? You serious?
That's what he said.
This is what it feels like to
be seen, Jenny.
Jesus.
Anything you want me to do, Sir,
you tell me, I'm ready.
The media are leaving their shit
everywhere.
It's starting to look like
Glastonbury. I want you to tidy up.
Get yourself one of them
grabber things.
Oh, right. It's just I thought you
might want me on the case.
This is the biggest and most
horrific thing ever to happen
in this town.
We have every department up and down
the country offering
every resource they have.
Why on earth would I ask you?
OK.
Meanwhile, Janet was waking up,
and remembering what she'd done
the day before.
And I'm not talking about
the karaoke.
Oh Er
Keys.
Hey.
Hiya.
Hey, psst.
Hiya. Hi.
Feels like we're spies always
meeting like this.
Of course we are spies,
Agent Kalashnikov, from Russia.
Go Putin
Don't you think it's time to
retire the old Russian spy thing?
Yo know, world events and all.
Net!
Sorry.
Are you all right?
You got me worried when you called
yesterday about your dad.
I don't know. Probably nothing.
It's just sometimes it feels like
there's something always
up with him.
Right. I shall leave you here.
Don't want the teachers
telling on me again.
Crikey
You all right?
There's an awful lot of
police around today
with guns and all.
Didn't you see the news?
What's in the news?
Morning, wanker!
They're playing my song.
See you tomorrow? Of course, yeah.
Love you. Ditto.
Oh, my God.
Yeah? Have you forgotten? What?
We're meeting my ex-client
in prison,
I told you last night after
I'd Do Anything For Love,
open-brackets,
But I Won't Do That,
close-brackets.
Oh, right, yeah.
No, sorry. Sorry, yeah, I forgot.
And that. What, my hand? Aye.
Oh, my Come on.
Oh, that's a shame,
I'd popped a little bomb in that.
Oh, well.
Hell of a coincidence,
don't you think?
What are you talking about?
The shooting.
What do you think I'm talking about?
Nothing happens in this place
for hundreds of years and then
You don't think No.
Headlines said two gunmen.
Nothing about a boatload of cocaine.
Nothing about
Last time I saw you, I was having
20 years of my life surgically
removed from me
by Judge Fannyblaster.
How you been, Craig?
Not on the clock now, am I?
Rates you charge No. No.
It's not about you. It's
We need your advice.
Janet and I, we found something
Janet, was it?
Janet, this is nothing personal,
but I don't know you from Eve.
Whatever it is you wanna ask, mate,
I'd prefer to keep it between us.
Where am I supposed to go?
You could get us some snacks?
Snacks
Fuck's sake.
Brilliant.
The machine's broken.
Sorry, but I chose something
and then it just
Oh, it's
It fell down while you were coming.
Who the fuck chooses a Bounty?
It's the only thing they had left.
So, do you know anyone
who would buy it?
Wait, I thought he was gonna
Bollocks, no!
That shit's what put me
in this place in the first place.
I'm out in three months,
and I've done enough time to realise
that doing any more time is
a waste of time.
Time that could be spent
in the theatre.
A real, actual theatre.
Proper lights, a fancy green room,
male-female cast
We need to sell it yesterday.
I'll make it worth your while.
You better tread careful, you two.
Or you're going to end up
Oh, right, yeah.
Very clever.
But it also makes you think.
Plea Please. Just ask around.
This monster of a haul you say
you've got - it belongs to someone.
And they're gonna be
wanting it back.
You've started digging a big
old hole, you two.
Better make sure it's big enough to
fit two coffins.
It's good to see you, boss.
How was your journey?
Save your pleasantries.
If you did your job,
I wouldn't have to be here.
This is where the boat was found?
Washed up right there.
Listen, that copper you spoke to,
Arthur Lake,
he's gone to ground,
but we will find him.
And we will get this shit back,
I'm telling you. It's all in hand.
I'm hungry.
Look, you gotta trust me on this.
What can I eat?
Uh, depends what you're looking
for, really.
I've got some lovely pasties
Oh, pastries?
Pasties.
Pastries?
Pasties.
Pastries?
Pasties.
I don't understand. I'm sorry.
You've never seen a pasty before?
I cannot say I have.
Oh, when in Rome, love
Is it always so cold?
No.
Sometimes it's colder.
Really?
Ta.
And then it struck him
Oh, mon dieu.
It's like croissant
with meat inside!
I'm glad you like it!
You say everything is in hand,
and yet you went into that police
station with an iron fist.
Did I ask you to make headlines?
Well, you wanted answers.
And we had to get up
here from London.
And to be honest with you,
we can't afford to fuck around.
Do you remember Edward?
One more mistake,
you will end up like him.
You understand?
I will gut you. Yeah, yeah.
I understand.
If you do not now, then you will.
It's good. Try one.
Come on, man, pick up!
Pick up.
Monkey, Mr Monkey, Mr, Mr Monkey
Mr Monkey, Mr Monkey,
Mr, Mr Monkey, Monkey ♪
Hey, pack it in a sec.
Oh, voice-call!
Greg. Old-school, mister. Me likey!
Jesus, thank Christ.
Where you bloody been?!
I'm in t'car, actually,
with t'fam. Say, "Hi, Uncle Arthur."
Hi, Uncle Arthur! Hi, Uncle Arthur!
Hiya, kids. Hiya.
We've been to Monkey World!
Listen to me.
I just need to speak to your dad
about something, all right?
Nathan crushed it in footie this
morning, didn't you, mate? Yeah.
That's great, mate.
But, listen I really need to
speak to your dad about somet
And Cassie's dance,
just flipping sublime, honestly.
Got to see t'video. There's this bit
where she'll kick
Just take me off the fucki-
Just take me off the speaker.
I'm not supposed to drive
holding my phone.
Right. I'm sorry.
It's instant points.
I need money.
Yeah, someone, er Fuckin' 'ell.
There's someone's after me.
What do you
What do you mean after you?
Cassie, don't do that
to your brother.
I can't explain right now
but I am knee-deep
in a world of fucking shit.
Now, I've been a good big
brother, haven't I?
I've looked out for you, and that.
Now I need your help. Please.
I've emptied my accounts
but I can't use a credit card, so
So whatever you've got.
What have you done?
Look, I'll erm
I'll text you t'address, yeah?
All right.
Just hurry up, yeah?
All right, see you in a bit. Bye.
You OK?
Mr Monkey, Monkey, Mr Monkey,
Mr, Mr Mon- ♪
Right now in a room somewhere is
an actual boatload of cocaine
and these two are sitting on it.
But I'm keeping my distance,
Andy, mate.
It's all about
the mise en scene now.
Amen, brother.
I'm not going to be able to sleep
a bloody wink tonight.
Big day, tomorrow.
The biggest.
It's a second chance for me, mate,
to do the things I want to do.
Exercise, reading, charity work,
just being in nature,
doing things for others.
For the first time in my life,
Craig, I'm really excited.
Life begins.
It's me 2.0.
I need a gram, Vinnie, maybe two.
I tried going straight, I have,
I tried so hard to do life proper.
You been out two days.
It seemed much longer.
Have you forgotten
before you went away, you owed me?
Fuck, you owed me.
I know
I can make it up to you.
My cellmate
at Slimpton, Craig Dodds,
he heard about a couple
of people selling.
You always talked about next level,
yeah, well, these two,
what they have got,
it's next level.
Thing is, I want to go in with you,
like, be a partner, like.
Cos if I'm gonna go straight,
I'm gonna, like, need money
and stuff, you know
What do you say? You and me.
Shhhh
Come on, let's talk in the barn, eh?
Eh?
Now, there are a lot of
bad people in this world.
Thing is, Andy, you still owe me.
And you just gave me Craig's name
and where to reach him.
So why the bollocks would
I give you a fucking bean, mate?
And Vinnie was one of them
No! No! No! Please!
Tie his legs! Tie his legs!
No! No, please! Help!
Shhhh
You ain't got the cash to pay me,
so I got another idea.
You ever seen them pinatas,
Andy, eh?
They beat those bastards till
the treasure inside falls out.
No! No!
No! Get me down!
Shall we see what falls out, Andy?
Yeah,
he was a real son of a bitch.
Samuel. It's Craig.
Forgive the hour,
but there's never a convenient time
to take the mobile
out my arsehole.
Yeah. Right. Hi.
I got a call.
Fella named Vinnie Douglas,
he wants to meet you.
He wants to buy it?
Oh, yeah.
But you should know, this Vinnie
put the bloke who told him
about you in hospital.
You have been warned.
Now, if I send you his number,
I want something in return.
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Sure.
What is it you want? 10%? 20%?
No. Life rights.
What now?
Life rights.
I'm a storyteller, mate.
And there's a story here
worth telling.
Long as Vinnie doesn't just kill you
after you hand over the drugs.
Couldn't even get a two-parter
out of that.
I'll text you Vinnie's number
when I can.
Not bad! Next up.
Oi, wanker!
Dodge this, you twat!
Ah! Ah!
Shit, I didn't mean to hit him.
Shit!
Hiya. Erm, Alan Alan Jeffries.
I got a call saying he was here
Janet! Mike.
Mike Weathers.
We went to school together.
Oh. Right, yeah.
We made that model!
What was it of again?
I want to say volcano,
but maybe a barge.
I'm actually looking for someone.
Sorry.
I can help! I'm a doctor now!
Come on.
Oh, yeah. Right, yeah.
Oh there he is..
Love, hiya.
I was so worried.
It's just a scratch, really.
Landed between my toes.
Tell you what really hurts -
the fact they put the milk in first.
Barbarians, they are.
Are you OK?
Did you not hear me, woman?
Milk. Before the tea! It's madness!
Carts and horses.
I will kill all
of them for you. Where are they?
That might be
a bit of an inordinate response.
Oh, Janet.
Oh, fuck's sake.
Janet, Janet, Janet.
The school called me!
I'm still down as one
of his emergency contacts so
We have discussed boundaries
time and again.
All right, I'm going. I'm going.
I don't want you to
And you're not helping.
She's not your mother, mate.
She looked after me
since I were two!
Times change, big man! Eh?
What?
Janet, speaking as a Christian man,
I'd rather not involve the courts.
But, speaking as a Christian man, I
should probably involve the courts.
All right. OK.
It's all right. It's all right.
I love you.
Maybe we should have
said something.
Not now. I will.
I promise.
Who eats them, right?
You look amazing, by the way.
Oh. Ta very much.
I took the liberty of looking
up your number in the hospital file.
I'm not sure you're supposed to
do that, are you?
No.
Probably not, no.
Samuel?
So haven't you said anything yet?
No.
Funnily enough, I've never done
a drug-deal via text before,
I wasn't sure of the protocol.
All right, all right,
keep your knickers on.
What did your client tell
Ex-client.
What did your ex-client tell
you about this Vinnie bloke?
That we should tread carefully.
What does that mean?
He's unpredictable.
Right, we, erm, we need a story.
We've got a story.
We were walking along,
we found a boatload of drugs
That's not going to work.
What, are you worried that
he's gonna rip us
off if he finds out we're nobodies?
Maybe.
Or maybe he decides
we're undercover coppers. Shit.
What do you think he'd do to us
then? Don't answer that.
We just need to convince him
that we're serious players.
Which we're going to
do by telling him a story?
Absolutely.
There is nothing more powerful
than a good story.
Like a Boat Story.
We need to find a real outfit -
cartel, whatever -
that we can say we're connected to.
We're branching out into the UK.
Big enough to be serious.
But not so big that you know,
he might have links to someone.
Sinaloa Cartel? One of the biggest
cartels in the world.
But if they're the biggest in the
world, then isn't there a chance
that Vinnie might've met someone
from it?
You should do the talking.
Why? Cos you are a talker.
You used to lie for a living.
Well, you'll have to say something.
But I am a local. If he's a local
You're afraid you might
know each other.
We don't all know each other,
you patronising bastard.
Try an accent. I don't want to.
You might have to.
Come on,
are there any accents you can do?
Ah, well, I suppose
I've been doing this Russian spy
character for Alan
since he were four,
I've got quite good
No, no, Russian drug dealer feels
a bit on the nose, doesn't it?
Do you think
I look like a drug dealer?
Well, you You don't NO
look like a drug dealer.
Yeah, I know, but it's like you said,
we've got to think of everything.
Like, should I get
some fake tattoos and stuff?
No, this isn't about the costume.
It's about confidence, you know?
Conviction in the story
we're telling.
Erm, Vinnie, hi,
we represent the Casitano Family
Nah. Don't believe it.
Why? Sounds made up.
Because it is. I know that.
So why you being so negative?
How about some more, "Yes, and"
This isn't a fucking game!
You think I don't know that?
Urgh.
What's that, then?
Why are you showing me a penis?
Cos you asked.
It's that doctor from the hospital.
OK. Shall we, er?
Sorry
Just all I can see is dick.
What about this?
What? OK, er
Granted - they are known for
decapitating the people that
cross them Decapitating!?
But just bear with me.
They're an Albanian operation who
buy from South America
but who sell throughout
most of Europe.
But they're structured
differently from most cartels.
Cos they're so obsessed
with anonymity,
no one part of the operation knows
too much about the rest
Like a terrorist cell.
Or a relationship.
They're called the Kosovar Group.
Not too interesting-sounding.
It's very matter of fact.
What else does it say?
There's very little, y'know
Couple of arrests, but no-one's ever
turned on the higher-ups
because they just don't know
who they are.
OK. OK, then.
That's done.
What do?
What do you mean, it's done?
What? I just told you.
I texted Vinnie and told him that
we were with the Kosovar Group
and that we wanted to meet.
I didn't mean type it. Fuck!
That is the first vaguely
passable thing we said!
You agreed that it was
This is my fucking phone and all
My phone's too old
What is What is wrong with you?
Shit.
A time and a place.
So we're really doing this.
Right
Yeah.
Yeah. This is one of those moments
that people talk about -
you find out what
you're really made of.
Or it's one of those other moments
where you get your fucking head
chopped off.
I feel sick.
Hello?
Hi, I'm outside.
All right, I'm coming now.
No!
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Shit!
Fuck!
Oh, fuck! Fuck!
Open the fucking door.
Look, listen to me.
I'm not supposed to kill you
but shit happens.
Open the door. Listen,
I mean this, or I'm gonna shoot.
I'm gonna count down from three.
And I'm not joking.
Three, two
All right. All right.
..one!
Aargh. Fucking hell!
You said you'd count to three!
Nobody counts to three. Now move.
I've never been able
to just go to sleep
It's so much harder now
I'm in trouble so deep
My head is all swirling and
twirling with thoughts
Can I really be happy,
or will I get caught?
Insomnia, where are ya?
I found ya
Insomnia,
like an orphan in Bosnia
Insomnia
But maybe tonight
I just might
Close my eyes
Insomnia, where are ya?
I found ya
Insomnia ♪
Our thoughts are with the family
and friends of all those who have
been a victim of this
terrible crime It's just awful.
So much for God's own country.
Yeah, well, I suppose
even God has his off days.
Hello? Thought you might pick
up off a new number.
Need me to tell you who it is?
No, no, of course, it's er
How are you?
It's been four months.
Where's my bloody money?
Yeah, yeah. You said you were gonna
get it to me
Yeah, I am aware of the
current situation
Don't yeah, yeah, yeah me.
I need to get an answer
It's just some old work thing.
I thought we were friends.
I lent you that money because you
promised you'd pay me back
Yes. Yes.
Of course, and, erm, if you could
just be a little patient
Should I call Camilla?
Does she know what's
going on here?
She doesn't, does she?
I'm happy to call her.
No, absolutely no need for that.
One week. Really?
A week? I promise.
Please. Just
OK, I've got something coming up,
it's big.
I'll be able to
pay off all my debts.
Do I need to remind you
what the consequences are if you
don't come up with the money?
Yeah, it's going to be great. So
exciting. OK, bye, mate! Samuel
Hey, who's for breakfast?
The most important meal of the day.
Come on.
I'm sorry about your brother.
Seeing your own flesh
and blood become flesh
and blood before your eyes -
yikes.
But sometimes violence speaks much
louder than words, no?
It tells you who I am.
I'm the man responsible for everyone
who died in
Applebury Police Station.
The man who had your brother
executed before your eyes.
But, really, I'm just a dog
looking for his bone.
Have you seen my bone?
Look, I don't know how,
but my boyfriend, he, er,
he heard about a boat,
a boat that were coming in
and he were going to take
whatever were on board.
But that is all he told me.
Next thing I know, he's dead
and then you're calling me
telling me you're coming for me
and I say to you
I was there for that.
Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.
You were there for that.
It's just I'm
I'm very nervous, you know?
I'm very, very nervous.
Uh, the woman who found the boat,
she were called Pat Tooh.
She called it in,
she must have seen something.
That's what the detective told me.
Pat Tooh.
What did she see?
Look. I don't know!
I could
I could try and get the report
for you.
You know, I'm not, I'm not on the
investigation but I could try.
Or, I could speak to her.
They said she lives on, er, fuck
Hendon Road, above a shop.
But that is all I know.
I swear.
There was another
shipment before this one.
Two police officers.
No, that wasn't my boyfriend.
I've got nothing to
Wait Please!
Please, you've got to believe me.
Look, I never
Please.
What are you on about?
Please. I didn't take anything.
I swear.
Now, some people might say
The Tailor enjoyed his job,
but he would tell a different story.
It was like any job.
And he just did it to the
best of his ability.
Burn the fucker.
OK, sometimes
he enjoyed it a bit.
Morning.
You OK?
Couldn't sleep last night.
Isn't that what got us
into this mess in the first place?
I just keep thinking about the
shooting at the police station.
You can't still think this has
anything to do with that.
How could it not?
A boat washes up, and
then there's a fucking massacre
all here in Applebury,
where nothing ever happens.
There's nothing in the news
about any drugs.
Right, so let's
Come on, let's just
get on with it, shall we?
It's all I could find.
Try not to look so anxious.
There's no-one here. Well,
there's no-one watching anyway.
People could be dead cos of us.
Do you think people who, er,
sell cheeseburgers to fat
kids worry about that?
I mean
..people will do these drugs
with or without us.
It's just human nature.
That's not what I mean.
OK. Say we had handed all this in,
if those gunmen were looking for it,
they'd still have shot up that
police station to find it.
Everything's going to be all right.
Based on what exactly?
You don't know it'll be all right.
You just hope it will.
No, I believe it will.
There's a word for people like you.
Yes. Optimist.
No, fantasists.
All right, I get it,
shall we just, you know? Yeah.
Next one.
How old's your son?
Where did that question come from?
I'm just making conversation.
I'm married to Camilla,
well above my station.
Got a daughter called Anya, 16
You don't fucking stop talking,
do you?
Oh, wait.
Night.
What? What is it?
Why are you being
I see it, you know? See what?
I'm not stupid.
Every time we do anything
with the stuff,
every time we move it,
touch the locks or the door -
you put your gloves on.
You made me pay on my card,
you texted Vinnie from my phone
For Christ's sake.
Oh, yeah, stop it.
I can hear your lies already.
You're being paranoid.
You asked the other day
if I trust you.
I don't.
Wha-
Go on, then!
Bye.
This is the biggest Major Incident
team ever assembled in this country.
We've already allocated every
resource available
but we will push for more,
of course.
Is there any imminent
risk to the public?
This appears to have been
an isolated event.
The men targeted this station
Bollocks.
Oh
What are you doing round here?
Just cleaning up some
rubbish for the boss.
Nothing interesting.
Janet? You've got me all wrong.
Excuse me?
My lock. The code is 7327.
Come on. Don't be so No.
My life is one big Groundhog Day of
waking up under a fucking lawnmower
and being torn to shit, and this is
only making things worse.
So I'm out. Keep it. Do what you
want. Just leave me out of it.
Madame Bethune?
Remember that name.
I beg your pardon?
Forgive me.
You look so familiar.
Are you all right, love?
I apologise.
Yes. You are Pat Tooh.
I believe you found a boat washed
up on the shore the other day?
Yes, why?
One of the poor
souls there was my son.
Oh Oh, I am so sorry.
Come on in. Come in, love.
Thank you.
Have a seat.
Can I get you some tea?
Some vino?
No. Thank you.
I can't imagine how
you must be feeling.
We did not know each other
that well.
Oh.
Still. My son, you know?
Of course.
I'm not sure how
I can really help.
I need to know everything.
The police, they said you saw
someone near the boat.
But they would say no more.
I made banana bread.
OK.
Would you like some?
No. Thank you.
It's fucking delicious.
OK.
What is it you want with me,
Mr erm?
Ah
..Taylor.
You looking to take
the law into your own hands?
What would you say if I was?
I would think that was quite
..refreshing.
Yes. Yes, it is.
Like a cold drink on a warm day!
How is it?
As, erm, advertised.
Told you.
I didn't see much, I'm afraid.
Before I saw the boat,
I saw someone on the beach.
Long way off.
But I do remember
they were carrying a dog.
A little white dog.
Pomeranian, I think.
And that's all she wrote.
I appreciate your time.
And the bread.
What was your boy called?
Alan?
Are you all right?
Is this about school? Did you tell
those bastards what happened?
No.
Gosh
I feel a bit silly now I'm here
cos there's nothing you can do,
is there?
There's nothing either of us
can do
Alan, just go on, tell me.
Tell me.
Dad's got a job
in Australia.
That's why they were being weird.
That's why I called you
a few nights ago.
You're
You're moving?
Adelaide, to be exact.
They want him
by the end of the month. Fuck.
Sorry. No, no. Sorry.
Those were my thoughts also.
When?
End of End of t'month.
Right. Yeah, you said. It's just
Fuck.
Sorry. Sorry.
Hey. Long-distance can work.
If you say so.
I'll really miss you, Mum.
Well, we're not fucking done
yet, are we? Sorry.
Sorry.
Hey?
Vinnie?
Vinnie, I'm Lucas,
I'm with the Kosovar Group.
As I said on the phone.
I assume you've looked us
up and tr
Don't mean to be rude, buddy,
gotta take precautions, yeah?
Just this piece of shit.
Travelling light, is it?
Well, a man in my job can't
take any risks.
Now obviously I don't have the stuff
on me but if
Shut the fuck up!
Hey, Vin, found this in his car.
Hidden underneath t'seat.
Oh, right mastermind, ain't ya?
What, you just assumed
we were fuckin' stupid?
I've come to do business.
I have a lot of product.
If you want to buy it, fine.
If not
Lucas, was it? Yes. Yeah.
Tell me, Lucas from the
Kosovar Group, what you doing with
a business card belonging to
a lawyer called Samuel Wells?
And a driving licence and all.
Well, I mean, I assume you know
the need for a cover
It keeps talking.
Why's it talking?
All right. OK.
My mum was a liar.
I fucking hate liars!
I'm not lying! That's a cover
identity, that's all.
You can stay here
while I make some calls.
Don't bother worrying about
all that
sneaking-out-trying-not-to-wake-me
bollocks.
I'm a big girl.
I'm not one of them types.
You can come
and go as you like, love.
What was it that you said in French
when you were about to leave?
It's a song by Salvatore Adamo.
I heard it on the radio
on a very important day of my life.
And, er
Do you still have
more of the banana bread?
We finished the lot, love, remember,
when you ravished me
on the ottoman?
Oh, yes. Oh, yes, I remember.
But if you're hungry,
I own the shop downstairs.
Rodney'll still be there, should be.
Tell him I told you
you can have a free pasty.
Pastry?
Pasty. Oh pasty?
Yes. I know of these.
You own a pastry shop? Aye.
It was very nice meeting you,
Patricia.
Just Pat.
It was very nice meeting you, too,
love.
This were a bit different,
getting a bit of French up in me.
Forgive me.
Hiya, Mummy!
I thought you were out tonight.
No, Warhammer's tomorrow night,
so, er
Oh, bloody 'ell.
Yes, your mother has needs.
Shock horror.
You just be glad you didn't
walk in ten minutes ago.
Yeah?
We are looking for a Pomeranian.
What's that, like, an Italian fella?
It's a dog.
Oh.
Somebody was walking
their Pomeranian on that beach.
People are creatures of habit,
they walk their dogs on the same
place, no?
So, when they return,
somebody will be there.
Yep. Understood.
Meanwhile, Vinnie was
asking around about Lucas
from Kosovar.
Whatever you're thinking of
doing, I would think again.
You've looked up the Kosovar
Group. You know that
No-one I've spoken to
knows who the fuck you are.
Why would they know?
You think this is funny, do ya?
You're a funny fuck, are ya?
I'm gonna give you a smile
..that goes all the way around!
Let him go.
Who the fuck are you?!
He works for me.
What do you want?
Oh
..it's this one.
Samuel here lied about his name.
He's a lawyer.
He was a lawyer.
Everyone in this business
lies about their names
and everyone needs a lawyer.
He is mine. Come. Come.
You. Excuse me. This.
Wallet now!
You think a business card
is proof of anything?
Then you are amateurs.
And I do not work with amateurs.
So that's it, then, is it?
Business does not start like this.
No. No, no, no, not for Kosovar.
No.
Where are you going, Vin
Calling Katia,
she'll know what to do.
He's calling someone.
Just keep bloody walking.
That was brilliant, thank you.
Where'd you get the business card
from? I made it.
And the tattoo is a nice touch
Just shut up and drive, will ya?
Wait, wait!
Don't go!
Oh, fuck, run him over.
Run him over.
I can't run him over.
Don't open it.
Don't open it.
Please don't open it.
I'm sorry, all right?
I've never done a deal
this big before.
Do you believe in fate?
Absolutely.
Me too.
And that's what this is -
fate - us meeting.
So let's start again.
I'll name the time and place,
you bring the product.
Please.
OK, very well.
What the fuck?
All the world's a stage.
We are merely players.
And sometimes the players get away
with all kinds of things.
Because once you realise
it's all a show,
nothing's ever quite the same.
Tell him they have over
stretched themselves
Where are you going?
I'll just wait outside.
Stay for this bit, at least.
You're gonna love this bit.
That's how it felt when I was
talking to her that day.
Because I had pushed things too far.
It would have killed her
if she had known this whole time
that I was lying!
That I wasn't just out on the beach
that morning walking the dog.
That I knew that
boat would be there.
I had planned it.
That everything out of
my wretched mouth
..was a lie.
Sometimes we lie
Sometimes we break a heart
Sometimes we hurt one another
When we make a brand-new start
Sometimes we have to believe
That all the things we achieve
Can fall away like grains of dust
through a sieve
I'm not a good man
I'm not a bad man
I'm not a mad man
I'm just a man man ♪