Breadwinners (2014) s01e02 Episode Script

2 [Ducks quack.]
Both: buckle up, duckies, 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread, flying quazy 'cause we can quazy, quazy [Ducks quack.]
Quazy 'cause we can - Swaysway! - Buhdeuce! - Do a barrel roll, man! Both: Sweet! Buckle up, duckies, 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread, flying quazy 'cause we can Booty kick it, party punch it shake your feathers, make your pants dance - Look out, we're gonna crash-land! [Ominous music.]
[Electronic music.]
- Man, I love mining bread.
- Me too, bap.
It's just so peaceful down here.
[Both sigh.]
- [Roars.]
Both: Aah! - [Belches.]
[Both screaming.]
- [Grunts.]
[Panting.]
Whoa, do you know what you got there? That's stank bread.
- [Burps.]
- Oh, no! Stank bread? This is terrible! What's stank bread? - Only the foulest loaf known to fowl.
It's formed in the stanky dank caves when a cave monster eats a moldy loaf of bread and regurgitates it.
Then another monster does the same thing, then another.
And another and another and another and another and another.
- [Vomits.]
- They say one bite can stankify your breath so bad, it will never be the same.
- Wow, swaysway, that story had it all.
- Deucer-- no! Skroaf that loaf! - [Gasps.]
I just ate the stank bread? [Screams.]
- That's stank, all right.
You smell like a butt's butt.
- [Yelps.]
- Aah! [Shouting.]
Ouch! Help! I'm too young to get stanked.
Owee! - [Whimpers.]
- Aah! - [Groans.]
Aah! Sorry, bap! Ugh! I can't control it.
- It's okay, bro.
I forgive you.
[Screams.]
Ouchiewawa! - You got stanked! [Slaps.]
- Your stank breath is just too stanky.
- I know, bap.
What are we gonna do? - We do what all great ducks do when their feathers are against the wall and they're faced with a difficult problem-- ignore it and hope it goes away.
Now let's deliver some bread.
- Yep, yep.
- Aah! Aah! Eh hee hee! [Birds chirping.]
Now remember, t-midi is our number one customer.
So you better keep your bad smell to your bad self.
- Ooh.
Aye, aye.
- Well, hello, breadwinners.
- T-midi! We got your delivery-- one loaf of clammy brioche.
- Hoot hoot hoorah! [Laughs.]
There, there, loaf.
You're in good hands now.
Dare I ask, what is the matter with him? - Oh, he's just being buhdeuce.
- [Muffled.]
- Oh, my.
[Screams.]
- You got stanked! - [Whimpers.]
Why? - Thank you for your business.
Ouch! We better not take any chances this time.
Aah! I'll do the delivery while you stay here, with the windows up.
- Aww, okay.
But hurry back please.
I won't last long in here.
- Afternoon, Mrs.
furfle.
Got your prune bread here.
- Oh, thank you, swaysway.
- [Gagging.]
- Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to deal with a big odor-- I mean order.
- [Coughs.]
Swaysway, the stink - Hey, where is that little friend of yours? What's his name again? Buh-dude? - Oh, you mean buhdeuce.
- Buh-doofus? - Buhdeuce.
- Buh-doodle? - Buhdeuce.
- Buh-dinkle? - Buhdeuce.
- Buh-donkey? - Buhdeuce.
- Buh-double cheeseburger? - Buhdeuce! [Coughs.]
My name is buhdeuce! - I really better be going.
- All right, tell little buh-doogie I say hello.
- Okay, will do.
- [Coughs.]
- [Coughs, gags.]
- You got stanked! - Sorry, Mrs.
furfle! - Oh, buh-diddle-dupe.
- Ah.
Oof.
Peeyoo-zapalooza.
- I can't stop the stank, sway.
I just can't stop it.
[Sirens wail.]
- Aw, crummers.
It's rambamboo.
[Sirens wailing.]
- Well, well, well.
If it isn't swaysway and buhdeuce.
I noticed you're expelling noxious fumes of a distinctly stenchous nature.
- Who, us? No.
- Mm-mm.
- License and registration.
- Sure, they're right here in the glove compartment.
- [Coughs.]
- [Screams.]
- You got stanked! - I am writing you up for a violation of personal hygiene.
And for a violation of my personal hygiene! - Ow.
- And until you get rid of that stank, you two are officially [echoing.]
Grounded.
[Crash.]
- Man, this stank really stinks.
- Yeah, it's stanking up our whole lives.
Now we can't fly.
We can't deliver bread.
The orders are piling up, the customers are getting mad, and I feel like my head is gonna-- - deucer, relax.
We'll summon the bread maker.
- Yeah, he'll know what to do.
Both: rub-a-dub-dub, rub-a-dub-doo oh, mighty bread maker, we summon you - Ooh, yeah! Greetings, amigos.
What seems to be thy breadicament? - Well, uh, you see, uh - Ooh, that's some rank stank, my duckling.
Let me see your beak.
I've got some bogus news.
It looks like you've got a bad case of Beakitis.
- Beakitis? - Yes.
And I'm afraid it has mestank-acized.
By the end of the day, thy beak will fall clear off.
- I'm gonna lose my beak! Oh, no! What will I look like? [Beak cracks.]
[Mumbling.]
[Screaming.]
- Hey, duck hugs.
We'll get through this.
- Thanks, swaysway.
Oh, bread maker, is there anything I can do? - The good news is there is a cure-- the fabled minty good bread.
It can destroy the stank and purify your beak once more.
But the only slice known to exist is hidden deep in the stanky dank caves.
[Both whimpering.]
[Thunder.]
- You got stanked! - [Coughs.]
Toasty.
- We gotta hurry, bap.
My beak hurts.
I think it's starting to fall off.
- Don't play with it, dude.
Just hang in there, and soon this whole stankventure will be over.
Come on! Both: Aah! - [Gasps.]
Cave monsters! What do we do? - Stank 'em, b! - [Inhales, exhales.]
- You got stanked! - No track.
Now what? - Stankling hook! - [Spits.]
- Whee-hee-hee! [Groans.]
- We made it! The stanky dank caves.
And look, the minty good bread.
Well, stank breath, it's been real.
[Chomping.]
- How is it, buhdeuce? - Like a cool arctic wonderland on my taste buds.
- Hey! - [Sniffs.]
Wow! Your beak's in mint condish.
Told you we'd get through this.
- Thanks, swaysway.
I couldn't have spanked that stank without you [Burps.]
[Burp echoing.]
- [Roars.]
Both: Aahh! Stankasaurus! - Run! - [Roars.]
- Buhdeuce, try your minty breath! - [Inhales, exhales.]
Oh, it's no use.
Nothing can match the power of his stank.
- Then that's exactly what we'll use to fight him! - [Grunts.]
- [Chews.]
- Oh, my bap.
It's working.
- Grab some stank and get hurlin'.
[Both grunting.]
- This one's for all my homies.
[Kisses.]
- [Roars.]
[Gulps.]
- You got stanked! [Both cheering.]
[Both groan.]
- Let's never mess with stinky breads again.
- Agreed.
Hey, what's that over there? - That? That's super rancid bean bread.
They say one bite can give you gas so bad, your digestive system will never be the same.
- You know, you really do tell the best stories, sway.
Oops.
[Farts.]
[Rock music.]
[Frogs croaking.]
[Screeching.]
- Whoo-hoo! Another perfect landing.
- Yep, yep.
[Both chomping.]
- Ribbet, ribbet.
- Aww.
[Giggles.]
Hey, jelly.
Are you hungry, girl? - [Pants.]
- No, jelly, come back here.
[Bees buzz.]
- [Farts.]
- So let me get this straight.
She ate the bees.
Then she farted the bees.
Now she's trying to eat the farted bees? - Yep, pretty much.
- [Sighs.]
She always has been a few slices short of a loaf.
- Well, buhdeuce, today all that changes, because today we're going to do something we've never been able to do before-- teach our pet, jelly, a trick.
[Bee buzzes.]
[Gasps.]
I think I'm allergic to bees.
Definitely allergic.
- [Panting.]
- Okay, jelly.
See this? This, ball.
You, fetch.
[Ball whistles.]
- Yep, this is gonna take a while.
- Okay, we're gonna teach jelly how to fetch by showing her how to fetch.
I'll throw the ball, and you pretend to be a frog and fetch it.
- Okay, I'll try, but I don't think I look anything like a frog.
Ribbet.
- All right, buhdeuce.
Fetch! - [Panting.]
- Ew.
Gross.
- Ribbet.
Ribbet, ribbet.
- You can stop pretending now.
Ah! Gah, gah! - Ribbet.
- Down, bro, down! Bro! - Ribbet, ribbet.
- [Grunts.]
Dude, you're not a frog.
- Oh, right.
[Chuckles.]
I'm a duck.
[Clears throat.]
Quack.
- [Gasps.]
Jelly, you did it.
You learned to fetch.
Good girl.
We taught jelly how to fetch - how to fetch - how to fetch she likes to fart bees both: but she's still our favorite pet [Ball whistles.]
- Bah.
- Buh, I don't remember the ball looking like this.
- That's no ball.
That's a Both: M-m-m-m-m-monster egg! Aah! - Here, here, take it! [Both whimpering.]
- Throw it away, bap! Throw it away! - [Grunts.]
No, no, jelly! No fetch! - Bah.
[Pants.]
- Bad girl.
That's a bad-- [laughs.]
Aww, jelly.
- Jelly, do not fetch.
[Tongue snaps.]
[Whimsical music.]
- [Straining.]
She'llNever Find itHere.
- Ribbet.
- Oh, my bap! You gotta be kidding me! - Okay, just think positively.
Maybe it won't hatch.
After all, it could be a hard-boiled monster egg.
- Yeah, yeah, it's probably hard-boiled.
- Yeah, there's no way it'll hatch.
[Shell cracking.]
[Both gasp.]
[Cracking.]
Both: Aah! [Cracking.]
Aah! [Cracking.]
Aaah! - [Babbles.]
- Aw, he's not scary at all.
Isn't that right, you cute wittle baby monster with three eyes, you? - [Roars.]
- Ugh, get it off me! Get it off me! - Aw, I think he likes you.
- Tiny teeth! [Strains.]
Aah! [Panting.]
- Can we keep him, huh, sway? Can we, please? - Are you quazy? We're not his mama.
- Mama? Mama! - [Chuckles.]
He thinks you're his mama.
- I'm sorry, baby monster, but we can't keep you.
- But, swaysway - [Crying.]
- Uh-uh, nuh-uh.
No way.
You go, baby monster.
You go now.
- Let him stay, please! He'll never survive out in the wild on his own.
[Creatures growl.]
- [Whimpers.]
- You're probably right about that.
[Sighs.]
Okay, fine, he can stay.
- Yeah, boy! [Shell cracks.]
- Aww.
He's got three big baby buns.
- [Laughs.]
Big baby buns.
That's what we'll name him.
[Electronic music.]
Both: big baby buns, big baby buns shake those big baby buns big baby buns, big baby buns this baby got three baby buns - eat that bread, baby - come on, eat some more - eat it all from the ceiling Both: down to the floor big baby buns, big baby buns this baby can sure eat a ton - [Gulps, belches.]
Both: Whoa.
[All snoring.]
- Jelly-filled alfalfa bread.
[Ground rumbles.]
- Jenny quackles [Thud.]
- Who-bitta what now? - [Roars.]
If I find out who took my egg, I'm gonna punch 'em and crush 'em and eat 'em! Nom, nom, nom! - Aw, crummers.
- What do we do, sway? If she finds out we have her baby, we're toast.
- Let's just wait here and hide.
I mean, what are the chances she's gonna notice a giant lighthouse sticking out of the swamp? [Knock on door.]
[Both whimper.]
- [Babbles.]
- Hide the baby.
I'll stall her.
- Okay.
Come here, big baby buns.
I got you.
- [Inhales.]
[Door creaks.]
- [Growls.]
- May I help you? - Have you seen my egg? - Nuh-uh.
Nopety-do.
No eggs here.
This is an egg-free zone.
Thank you very much.
- Are you lying to me, little ducky? - [Laughs.]
Me? Lie? Of course not.
- [Babbling.]
- What was that? - Uh, nothing! You're probably just hearing things because you've been walking around in the hot sun all day and you've got brain fry.
I'll get you some lemonade.
Okay, sway.
Stay cool, man.
Aah! All: Aah! - Hey, what was that? - Nothing! Dude, you have to find a better hiding place.
- One better hiding place, coming up.
- Um, big mama monster lady? Hello? - [Crying.]
- Whoa.
Are you okay? - [Slurps.]
No! I am not okay.
What kind of animal steals someone else's baby? Even I wouldn't do that, and I'm a monster.
- Maybe whoever took it came across it by accident and was just trying to help.
- Is that what happened? - No idea, I'm just spitballing here.
[Chuckles.]
Pew, pew.
- My poor baby probably hatched by now and is out there all alone.
[Crying.]
- [Sighs.]
I might get punched and crushed and eaten for saying this, but, big mama, I'm the animal that took your baby.
- You have my baby? - Yes.
- Oh, thank heavens! - Hey, bap, what'd I miss? Good news, buhdeuce.
You can bring out big baby buns.
- Buh, no, I can't.
- Wha--why not? - Yeah, why not? - Because I hid him so well, I can't even remember where he is.
- [Echoing.]
Mama? - [Roars.]
Where's my baby? [All screaming.]
Both: Aah! [Roof cracking.]
- Hey, we got a skylight.
- You are so about to get eaten.
[All gasp.]
Both: To the rocket van! - Whoo-hoo! My name is swaysway and we got away-way - I'm not so sure-sure - [Roars.]
[All scream.]
- I guess you were right.
We never should have taken big baby buns under our wing.
- No regrets, b.
No regrets.
- [Roars.]
- Oh, boy.
We're goners.
- Ribbet.
- UnlessJelly! Fetch big baby buns! [Both groaning.]
- [Growls.]
- Mama.
- Baby? Oh, my baby! - [Babbling.]
- They took you in and were nice to you? And even fed you bread until you burped? [Growls.]
I guess I'll let you two live.
For now! [Ground rumbles.]
- Bye-bye, big baby buns.
- See you later.
- [Slurps.]
- Aw, jelly.
Thanks for saving our beaks.
We should teach you tricks more often.
- Teach her? [Laughs.]
How about we show her? - Go, deucer! Go, deucer! Go, jelly! Go, jelly! You quazy! You quazy! - [Farts.]
[Bees buzzing.]
- Ouchiewawa.
- Whoo! - r-r-r-r-rocket van delivering bread in a rocket van my name is swaysway and this buhdeuce - yep yep.
- Yeah.
Duck party! - Get Jimmy quackers in here I'm a duck, he's a duck quack quack wiki-quack quack a duck [scatting.]
All: rocket van