Brews Brothers (2020) s01e02 Episode Script

[Adam] Behold my brilliance.
I have managed to do the impossible.
Found a hat that's douchier than a fedora?
Managed to look even more
like Woody from Toy Story?
No, actually.
I have perfectly recreated the ale
for our distributor,
using all different ingredients
[clears throat]
What'd you use instead of your own urine?
Cloves, grapefruit zest,
and a modicum of barrel-aged vinegar.
Does it not taste exactly
like Wilhelm's inferior IPA
mixed with my golden elixir?
No, it's good,
but I don't know if it tastes the same.
Oh. Let's try the original.
Of your piss beer?
Yeah, no, I'm not gonna do that.
- The distributor loved it.
- 'Cause he didn't know you pissed in it.
[Chuy] Let's see here
Oh, tastes the same to me.
Thank you, Chuy.
I know that you're in the nascent stages
of your beer-making journey,
but I genuinely believe that you have
the nose and palate
of a seasoned brewmaster.
Or he has the nose and palate of a man
who can't taste or smell shit
because he gargled antifreeze
at his old job.
[chuckles]
Lasted a whole minute. Won the bet.
Hey, nice! What'd you win?
- The bet.
- [Adam] No, I understand.
I just mean, what was the bet?
How much what did you get?
Uh, only one bet. We just bet that.
That was it.
Look, it's good. It's just
it doesn't taste like the original.
If the distributor knows
they're different, we are fucked.
- [Adam sighs]
- Try mine.
[sniffs] Yuck.
[swishes beer] Hmm.
[spits] It's different.
It's bad.
It's still definitely very, very bad.
You've just managed to create
another kind of bad beer,
which is impressive.
- Lemme see.
- We know you're gonna like it.
Look, you have no attention to detail.
And that is why you have no ability
to make a decent beer to save your life.
I did make a great beer,
and the distributor loved it.
Oh, the only reason he picked yours
is 'cause I peed my beer into it.
Which honestly, and I say this modestly,
is a testament
to how good of a brewer I am.
Someone can drink my beer,
pee it out, and it still tastes great.
Look, what we need to do
is we're gonna recreate the original beer.
And to recreate it, we need
the original ingredient, which is
- Adam's pischen.
- [sighs]
It makes me a little emotional to see you
and my pee back together again.
- What does that even mean?
- No, don't ask. We're not going there.
- We're going there.
- [Wilhelm] No.
[Adam] Yup, we're already there. Will
[Wilhelm] Well, when we were growing up,
we shared a bedroom.
And I was convinced
I was a ten-year-old bed-wetter.
And then I learned the truth.
- [chuckles] It was me.
- [groans]
[Adam] Every night I would creep down,
pull back the covers,
and wee!
He wore overnight diapies until he
Do you still wear them?
No, of course I don't wear them!
He might still wear them.
You're a monster.
Thank you.
Unless I have misread this situation,
which I highly doubt,
I feel like this
has brought us closer together.
You know,
I never had a brother to piss on.
[scoffs]
Just a sister.
Oh, no.
[theme music playing]
[bottle pops open]
Hmm.
- No.
- [glass shatters]
- What the hell?
- What? I'm doing you a solid.
These tulips are subpar
for our Belgian strongs, obviously.
Can we at least use a garbage can?
No, the garbage can's full
of your pilsners.
Look, Deadwood, you are focusing
on the wrong thing.
The distributor wants the kegs
in a couple days
and recreating this beer
is the thing keeping us from going under.
You can't go under. We love this place.
Yeah, and where else
would we drink for free?
Sorry. What are these cretins
talking about?
Why do you drink gratis?
We don't drink "gratis." This is ale.
- Yeah, Full-Mast ale.
- Full-ma
You gotta stop naming these beers.
You're bad at it.
Yeah, I'm hearing it now. Look,
after I started the brewery last year,
there were a lot of start-up costs,
and I needed some cash,
so I started the Founders Circle.
You just pay $500
And drink for free
[both]for life.
And get your picture on the wall.
[Adam] You guys were like
100 pounds lighter. What year was that?
- It was in May.
- Yeah.
This sainted nectar is my urine.
Tell me
this is the delivery method you used
the first time you peed in my beer.
Sure. Yes.
Yeah, I used a syringe the first time.
A fleshy, cylindrical syringe. [chuckles]
Hey, Friar, you want some pee-pee?
- Just a little bit? Ow!
- [both shout]
- What?
- Put it down.
- [syringe squirts]
- I didn't want to do it.
- You got it on me!
- Well, it got on you.
- Stop flailing it around!
- Okay!
- Just drink the beer. Salud.
- [Wilhelm sighs]
Nope. It doesn't taste anything
like the original.
[sighs] For the first time
in your entirely inconsequential life,
you're right.
It doesn't taste the same.
But why?
I mixed all the ingredients
exactly the same.
I followed my recipe precisely.
I bet it's 'cause you didn't eat
the same thing.
What? I've heard your diet can make
your bodily fluids taste different.
- Hmm. Semen.
- [Adam] Hmm.
Anyway, since urine smells differently
depending on what you eat,
you know, like asparagus,
I bet that's why it tastes different.
[Adam] Hmm.
So, what do you think?
Right now I'm thinking
you either eat a lot of asparagus
or you drink a lot of pee.
Come to think of it,
I've never seen her eat asparagus, so
You know, this is like a textbook
symbiotic relationship, by the way.
You brew pee, and then you drink pee.
[laughs insincerely] Okay, you know what?
We're done here.
Oh, are we? Ow! Oh, my God!
I genuinely think
all the pee you're drinking
- is giving you superpowers.
- [Sarah] Thanks.
Imagine how strong you'd be
if you started eating shit.
- Come here!
- Can you even imagine?
Maybe Sarah's right.
What could it hurt
to eat the same thing you did
the day that you pissed in the beer?
[scoffs] What was that?
You ate something
from Becky and Elvis' truck.
Well, that's that's nice.
I'm sure Becky'll be happy to see me.
Nope, Becky doesn't know who you are.
Had a few side hustles.
I sell time-shares.
And for another company,
I help people get out of time-shares.
[clicks tongue]
- Did you eat a corn dog?
- No, I would never eat a corn dog.
- So what'd you eat?
- [Adam] I don't know what I ate.
You both had the chicken fingers.
[exhales]
Oh, yeah, yeah, he's right.
Sarah had an edamame salad
from Trader Joe's,
and Chuy was busy doing his laundry
in the mash tun.
Oh, so peeing in the beer's fine,
but I can't do my whites?
- Great. Chicken fingers it is.
- [Sarah] Yep.
- [Wilhelm] Don't be weird around Becky.
- [Adam] I'm never weird.
What?
Chicken fingers coming up. One second.
Come here.
- Wait
- [Elvis] They're right there.
Oh, there we go.
No, just turn under Okay.
- Sorry. He hasn't found the key yet.
- [Adam] Ah.
Oh, well, when I lose something,
I usually go back
to the places that I've been.
Right? We did. We
It's not in my vagina.
- And it's not in my ass
- It'll turn up.
No, sorry. You talked over me.
It's not in my asshole.
We looked there. It's not there.
I owe you a growler of pilsner, all right?
Make sure it's one of the ones that uses
the non-GMO barley, right?
'Cause we don't put anything in our bodies
that isn't one-hundo
- percent
- organic.
- Certified
- organic. Right?
Hey, what about that key?
Keys are metal.
Metal comes from the earth.
So do buttholes.
[fly buzzing]
- [yells] Fly! Fly.
- What? Agh!
- [both shouting]
- [pans clattering]
- [Elvis] Get it! Get it! Get it!
- [Becky] Spray it! Oh, no, he's up here!
- I love it when you kill things. Kill
- Oh! Me too!
- [thudding]
- Great.
- Well, I've lost my appetite.
- [coughs]
Besides, I actually did not have
the chicken fingers the other night.
- What?
- I mean, even without the pesticides,
these are 100% inedible, truly.
So I gave them to Friar Lucas.
So now we have to have Friar Lucas pee
in the beer?
[both] No.
What did you eat?
That night, I think I went down
to a different food truck
and got kimchi tacos with melon horchata.
- It was great.
- Ew.
But don't tell Becky.
I do not want to ruin my chances with her.
- At what, watching her fuck that guy?
- [Sarah] There's one kimchi taco truck,
and it's all the way downtown
by Mumford Brewing.
Now, that's a brewery.
Yo, Matt and Jack!
Lock up if we're not back before closing.
What are you doing?
You can't give keys to customers.
They're founders.
Yeah, we don't mind locking up.
It's not like we haven't done it before.
Chuy, you're staying here. [groans]
Man what's up with that?
Hey, buddy, give us all the kimchi tacos
and horchata you got.
Hell yeah!
Shit, I'll be closing early tonight.
Hey, I know you.
Yeah, you went to Polytech High
in Long Beach.
- Mm, no. Uh-uh.
- [vendor] Really?
'Cause you look really familiar.
Well, that's crazy,
'cause I have no idea who you are.
I'm Mason. Mason Fuller.
You were, like, a couple grades below me.
Yeah, you must have just graduated, right?
Wait. Sorry, Sarah, how old are you?
I'm 25.
Look, Mason, I'm sorry
I'm not who you thought I was,
but can we get those tacos?
Sarah, you're not screwing with me, right?
Because if you're underage,
there is no way you can work
at the brewery.
Oh, Will, I am so flattered
that you think I look young,
but that is ridiculous. Come on.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I gotta go pee-pee.
No, not yet you don't. [chuckles]
That urine is ours.
This is really gonna mess up
my intermittent fasting.
All right, the faster you wolf it down,
the faster we can make the pischen beer.
Okay, easy.
I'm not a glutton like you are.
Besides, I only used a very small amount
of urine per glass.
Less than a centiliter.
- Huh?
- A third of an ounce.
The amount that ends up
next to the toilet when you miss.
That's a lot more
than a third of an ounce.
[men chattering, laughing]
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
[patrons] Hey!
- Why are there people here?
- [Wilhelm sighs]
- You go eat.
- Yeah. Fine.
Chuy, great job
bringing your old coworkers around.
- Right?
- Hey, I could use another one, huh?
Herman, hey, thanks for coming by.
We're really glad to have you.
We could really use the customers.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, they're not customers.
- They're founders.
- [patrons] Hey!
- Hey, Chuy, can we have a quick word?
- Yeah, sure.
[sighs] Chuy, the Founders Circle,
although a really fantastic idea
at the time
No, it wasn't.
is backfiring because Matt and Jack
are drinking us dry.
But that's because
you didn't charge enough.
I got all eight of my founders
for $1,000 each.
You got eight grand?
Oh, my God.
Chuy, look, I take it all back.
You you are a genius.
Yeah, I know.
I watch a lot of Shark's Tank.
"Shark's Tank"? Have you even seen one?
Look, trust Chuy, okay?
I got you eight grand worth
of auto body repairs that never expires.
And there it is.
- And there it is.
- And there is what?
Chuy, I don't own a car.
I do.
But I thought you had a Volvo wagon.
No, I used to own a Volvo wagon.
I sold it so I could buy a fermenter.
[laughs] Oh, shit.
I know your intentions
are really, really wonderful,
but you gotta take back the offer.
Whoa, I don't know, man. These guys,
they don't like getting ripped off.
Wha They work in an auto body shop.
They're used to it.
Exactly. That's why they don't like it
when it happens to them.
The irony is just too painful.
Look, you gotta do it.
You gotta be the bad guy.
Me? No. W-Why me?
Because you're the boss!
This directly impacts your business.
Okay.
[takes a deep breath]
- [patrons] Hey!
- Hey!
Oh, my God, they're having so much fun.
I'm just gonna do it tomorrow.
- [continues urinating]
- Ah! Ah! Why why why here?
Huh? It's part of the brewing process.
It has to happen in the cellar.
But but in front of Friar Lucas?
Come on.
He likes it. I promise.
[groans] Oh, my God.
Enjoy.
Oh, why is it wet? Ugh.
You know why.
- Keep drinking horchata.
- Ugh. God, I hate this shit.
[sighs, slurps]
Look, as soon as that distributor check
clears, you're getting your own place.
Unlikely. But did you happen to notice
anything unusual
between Sarah and the kimchi kid?
No, she looked like someone
he went to high school with. Who cares?
My Spidey senses are never wrong.
She's keeping something from us.
What else do you know about her?
She was an MMA fighter,
and her family stopped talking to her
when she kept doing it.
That's when her life took a nosedive.
She got sold into slavery and then found
her rock bottom, working here.
Inspector Rodman solves another case.
Hmm. Good night.
Just a quick Thomas Edison catnap,
though, right?
- And then we get back to work?
- No, it's a full eight-hour nap.
- Great. Can you turn off the light?
- Nope, you can do it. I put in a string.
Oh, you put in a string! Very fancy.
[laughing]
Ah, yeah. That's my urine.
Yeah, I deduced that. You know,
you just peed in your own bed.
Yeah, you know, collateral damage.
Ugh! Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
[sighs]
[exhales]
Hmm. What are you doing?
Did you guys get any sleep?
Sleep is for the tired,
and I never tire of how brilliant I am.
This process, this should take weeks
- [Sarah] Hmm.
- not days.
The fact that I've managed to speed it up
while maintaining quality
truly defies the laws of zymurgy.
Wow.
Hmm. Taste this.
No, thanks. 8:00 a.m. is a little early
for beer and your urine.
For you? I highly doubt that.
I bet it's never too early for pee-pee.
- I have shit to do.
- [Adam] Hmm.
What are you doing?
What Why are you What the hell?
No one just works in a brewery.
Literally thousands of people do.
Craft beer is this generation's Pinkberry.
Ha. LOL.
Very evasive.
But why?
What are you running away from?
- This here? Yeah, right now.
- [Adam] Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Aha! I know what you are.
- [Sarah] Oh, my God.
- What?
- You're a meth addict.
- What?
- A smackhead. A tweaker.
A real sketcher bitch.
- I am not a meth addict, okay?
- [Adam] Mm-hmm.
Sallow skin.
Early grays.
British, crooked-y teeth.
- What?
- And what's really going on with that ear?
You jackass. I already told you.
I got injured in the ring.
Did you, though?
Or you so whacked out on smack
that you answered an iron
thinking it was a phone?
"Hello, Mom. I'm scared. Send help."
[imitates sizzling]
No, don't mind me.
Just looking for pilsner glasses,
'cause someone broke
all the ones out front.
Mm-hmm.
Well, you're not gonna find any back here,
'cause someone also broke all of those.
- All right, these'll do.
- [Sarah] We already have customers?
We opened early.
Crooked-y.
Will, what are you doing?
Hey, hey, there he is!
[patrons] Hey!
Wow, this is, uh,
this is way more founders than yesterday.
Oh, it's just the founders
and their plus-ones.
Wait, we never said anything
about the founders getting a plus-one.
Uh, we did sign a formal contract,
and a formal affair always has a plus-one.
Yes. Weddings, quinceañeras, bat mitzvahs.
Mm-hmm. According to Emily Post.
- Hey, hey, Emily Post!
- [patrons] Hey!
Why are you drinking?
Oh, I'm Miguel's plus-one.
Oh, my God. Come here. You told me
you were getting rid of everyone.
Yeah, I-I-I am, I'm just
I'm psyching myself up.
Hey, Wilhelm,
one more round, huh, my friend?
- Sure.
- [patrons] Yeah!
- [Sarah laughs]
- Hey, who's talking about Emily Post?
- No, get out of here. Get out.
- Why can't I hang?
Like I want to be here.
Um, don't you guys, like, have some,
like, heavy machinery to operate?
[Herman and Chuy laughing]
Chuy, why are you laughing?
All right. Hey, she's right.
Come on. Everybody up.
- We gotta get back to work.
- See what you did?
- [Herman] We'll come back at lunch.
- One second
- Yeah, high-five, high-five.
- Great. Bill.
Mark. Tommy. Nice seeing you guys.
Miguel, of course.
- What? No.
- You get back there.
Don't touch the jersey.
Will, now, as in "right now,"
as in "this moment,"
I need you to go out there,
and I need you to go talk to them.
I just want everyone to have a good time.
Oh, my God,
you can't be the bad guy, can you?
I can. I was a bad guy last week when I
told those kids not to play in the alley.
Will, they weren't kids.
They were skinheads setting a cat on fire,
okay?
You should've had them arrested.
[sighs] Okay, let me explain this to you
in a way that you will understand.
Okay,
would you rather have a few customers
and go out of business slowly
or have this place full
and go out of business in a week?
- Or we could stay in business.
- Okay, Will, this is not a time for jokes.
Okay, I need you to think
about the bottom line.
- Yes. Yes.
- [Sarah] Yes.
- Yes. Okay.
- I'm thinking about the bottom line.
Grab your orthotics and slip on
your walking shoes and go talk to them.
- Okay, bottom line.
- [Sarah] Yes!
Bottom line! [sighs]
All to myself.
[clears throat]
[chuckles] Oh, right,
no shoes on the table. Emily Post.
[exhales]
Herman, hey.
[Herman] Hey, Wilhelm, mi amigo.
What's going on? You making deliveries?
'Cause that would be sweet.
No, no. I'm actually here to talk
about the Founders Circle.
That is an amazing thing you did, man.
You're like a fucking community organizer.
That's better than that "take a shit,
leave a shit" thing you had.
What was that all about?
Yeah, thank you
for not participating in that.
What's up?
I said you can be founders, but you can't.
I'm sorry.
Whoa, easy, amigo.
Hey, is this about the plus-one thing?
You know, 'cause we're cool
just making it on the weekends.
If I let you drink for free,
I won't have a brewery anymore.
For free?
What about the $8,000 in car repairs
we traded to become founders, huh?
I don't own a car.
What? You're always bragging
about having a Volvo station wagon.
I used to own a Volvo station wagon.
- Things change.
- [Herman] No, whoa, whoa. You are shady.
All we were doing was looking
for a great place
in the neighborhood to hang out.
And it can still be Rodman's.
You just have to pay.
I can't believe you would take back
something like that.
You know what?
When we give an estimate, we stand by it.
I don't think everyone sees it that way.
Miguel went off the wagon for this.
That's commitment.
What am I supposed to tell the guys?
I'm not the bad guy here.
No, I'm not. I'm not the bad guy here.
So, are you absolutely sure
you have nothing you want to tell me?
You mean like I should've done
a lot more research on you
before convincing you to work here?
- [kicks]
- Ow! No. I actually have a theory.
I believe that you popped out
six different kids
from six different dads.
Then you got addicted to the ponies.
At which point, you lost everything,
and they tried to take your kids away.
Ow!
That actually really hurt me very badly.
That's when the meth started.
Meth, the wiz, chalk, blue sky,
the cheese, the rusted baby.
These are all names for meth.
In conclusion, I believe
you should've swallowed the Plan B.
That way you wouldn't need a plan B.
Once the distributor signs off
on the beer,
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
Oh, my God, so angry.
Look, I'm just trying to have
polite conversation.
You failed.
Ah.
You forgot your, um
your purse.
I'm just gonna go through it, I think.
[humming] Hey.
Guess who solved our little problem.
Told Herman he couldn't be
part of the Founders Circle.
Hey, good for you! What's that?
I might've felt a little bad, so I did buy
some windshield wiper fluid from them.
Well, that's basically Windex, so okay.
- Hey. Front door, right?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, I also may have purchased
a custom-made windshield
for our broken window,
but it was only 500 bucks.
Cash.
[laughs] Will, what about the bottom line?
The front windshield was $650.
- Lemme show you where we're going.
- [Sarah] Could I just talk to you quick?
Look, you just gotta trust
in my process, Sarah.
I had to do it. Wiper fluid works best
on windshield glass.
Plus, installation is free.
[laughs] No, it's not.
Gotcha!
Everything I thought was true about you
is true.
Take a look at this.
Look at all that cash.
Look at all those singles.
Stripper much?
On top of that, we got whorish lipstick,
Miss Thing.
How nice. And
four absolutely hideous children,
clearly with a different dad,
each one of them. [laughs]
Hey, what the hell are you doing
with my wife's purse?
- Huh? She been looking for that.
- What?
She must've left it here this morning
while we were getting wasted at breakfast,
and now you're stealing it.
You know what?
I thought you were good neighbors.
Hey. Whoa.
Then I find out that you take away
the Founders Circle
like you got no heart at all.
- No, we've got lots of heart.
- I come here, find my wife's purse
being going through by your brother.
I am at a loss for words.
- I'm sorry.
- Hey, you know what? I have two:
fuck off.
- [Wilhelm] No, no.
- And watch your back, Rodman.
Herman, please don't go.
Don't turn like that. Bill. Billy.
- Couple of rude dudes.
- [Wilhelm] You know what I just realized?
I don't even have to try being
the bad guy.
He's naturally the bad guy.
- Me?
- [Wilhelm] Uh-huh.
Nah, I don't see it.
- [both grunt]
- Where the hell is Chuy?
- He's napping. He was really tired.
- What?
The distributor's on his way.
Sure it tastes the same?
[in German] Yes.
[in English]
Twenty kegs of pischen beer, ready.
[Adam] We haven't named it yet.
You wanna do the honors?
What do you call what you drink?
Name it after whatever guy peed it
onto you?
I hope you made peace with God.
- Oh, yeah? I'm agnostic, so
- Come here!
[Wilhelm] Hey, guys, I named it
- You're lucky
- Hello, look who's here. Hi.
- [Adam] Just in time.
- Hi.
I'm here for the pickup.
Yes, you are.
Twenty kegs of Rodman's Golden Surprise,
ready to be delivered
as soon as you try it, of course.
Hey, look, I'm sorry,
but there's a mix-up.
My restaurants still want a local handle,
but not an IPA.
So, any chance you guys got a stout
laying around, ready to go?
I'll pay you extra for the inconvenience.
- What? I don't no.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!
- Yes.
- [Adam] No, we don't.
- Yes!
- Yes or no?
We have a stout available.
Stout from the Hilltops.
People love it.
- Okay.
- Gimme a few minutes, and I will get it.
- [Cole] Great.
- You don't want the IPA?
It's the nature of the business.
People want what they want.
You should at least try it
to make sure it tastes the same.
No, I'm good.
- Just try the beer.
- I don't wanna try the beer.
- Why don't you? Just try it.
- Because I don't have to try your beer.
- But you loved it.
- You're making this very strange.
- You're a weird dude.
- I'm not. I spent a lot of time on it.
Just try the beer. [shouts]
- [wincing]
- [Cole] Ho-ho-ho-ho!
- [Adam] Oh, my
- I like that.
Thank you.
- All right, load the kegs, Black Widow.
- Got it.
Ugh. You ruined the knot on my kerchief.
It was a triple Windsor.
Come back for seconds soon!
And with that,
Rodman's is officially killing it.
Also, got us a little gift.
[beeps]
Huh.
Oh, another stupid thing.
A complete waste of money,
but I kinda like it.
Hey, I thought they hated us.
Oh, no. They did,
but I found out that I am really good
at two things:
one, being a pathetic little baby,
- and two, apologizing.
- [Sarah] Hmm.
- [Adam laughs]
- Plus, I gave them some free beer.
[laughing]
Oh, the pee beer.
I'm feeling either allergies
or a grudging respect.
[in German] Thank you.
[in English] Hey, Rodman's S-A!
- [mechanics] Rodman's S-A!
- [Herman laughs]
Hey, Chuy, what does "S-A" mean?
Oh, ese is Spanish slang for "guy."
It's good.
- We're Rodman's guys. They're happy.
- Oh.
Hey, no hard feelings, huh, ese?
This just goes to show you,
if you are honest and apologize to people,
they won't hold a grudge.
Who wants a beer?
- Me.
- [Wilhelm] Ese.
[Adam winces]
[mechanics] Rodman's S-A!
Can you tell me what operating system
your iPad's running on?
Okay, we're gonna do a hard reset.
So, I saved a little bit
of Golden Surprise,
since it's the first beer we have brewed
since we were kids.
- Oh.
- [clicks tongue] To us.
- To me.
- [glasses clink]
Hey, I wanna let you know,
put up my diploma.
And I was thinking,
if you're feeling envious at all,
you can throw up a picture
of that beer hall porta potty
that you got gonorrhea in.
It was a youth hostel.
- Oh, no!
- [Wilhelm] I'd have to call
- [Mason] What's up, guys?
- [Wilhelm] Hey. Mason, right?
Nice sign you got out front. [laughs]
Thank you. I worked really hard on it,
so I appreciate that.
Okay.
Uh, is that Sarah chick around?
'Cause I brought this.
I wanna show you guys.
See that? Sarah Dressel. I told you
I went to high school with her.
What?
[Adam] Wow, wow, wow, wow.
Oh, shit.
Go, Hornets.
Hey, man, how's about a beer
for a fellow alum?
You see, unlike Sarah over there,
I actually am 21.
[Wilhelm] Um
Sarah how old are you?
I'm 25
minus six.
Eighteen?
Nineteen, Will, and I know you know that.
You can do that math.
And I knew you were hiding something,
19-year-old meth head.
So tragic.
Here's my advice to you:
get off the meth
and just stick to underage drinking.
Sarah, you are my best employee, by far.
Hey, I would agree with that.
No, that is not covered by AppleCare.
Sarah, it's illegal for you to be here.
And as much
as this kick in the scrote pains me, I
I think I have to let you go.
No, no, no, no,
Will, come on. Um, you need me.
How can I trust you?
You used a fake ID when I hired you.
No, you never asked me for an ID.
You just wanted to make sure
I liked beer, which I do.
Ugh, Wilhelm the Lesser strikes again.
You're fired.
Wow. Nice.
You're finally the bad guy.
As much as this "kick in the scrote"
pains me,
you do realize
I'm gonna have to report you
for hiring and serving a minor.
Ugh, outwitted by a teenager.
There is a plan B.
You don't fire me,
and you give me a raise.
And you make me a manager.
Is this blackmail?
Yeah, yeah. Technically, yes,
but you can't run this place without me.
Okay. Congrats on the promotion
manager.
- [Sarah laughs]
- [Adam groans]
Oh, I'm sorry. Um, thank you so much.
I-I totally understand
why you didn't tell the truth
about your age.
'Cause this brewery would be
in big trouble
if word got out that you guys hired
an underage bartender.
Like, bigtrouble.
Like, financial ruin.
Shit.
- Unbelievable.
- [laughing]
Welcome to the Founders Circle.
- [Mason] Wait, is that you guys?
- Better start buying some bigger pants.
- [Jack laughing]
- Yeah, and stock up on insulin.
Hey, don't worry about it.
They'll all be dead in six months.
Don't look at me like that.
[theme music playing]