Brothers (2009) s01e02 Episode Script
Anniversary
Yeah, you gonna lose, Mike.
Your mother and I are gonna wipe the floor with you tonight.
That's right.
You goin' down.
Down.
Downtown.
You two don't stand a chance.
We've been practicing on the playstation.
Hey, hey, hey.
You don't have a chance, son.
Tonight, we're gonna kick your butts.
That's right.
Listen to the m-a-n.
We'll see.
Hi there.
Hi there yourself.
I need a pair of shoes.
Well, you've come to the right place.
You're about a12? Actually, I'm a 14.
Oh.
Heh heh.
And I'm Monica.
I'm Mike.
And I'm trying to go bowling here.
Come on, man.
Let's go.
Thank you, Monica.
Wait a minute.
Where are you going? I'm going bowling.
I bowl, too.
Mm-mmm.
Not without shoes, you're not.
I'm not rentin' no shoes.
Ok, look, don't give me a hard time.
Nobody bowls without shoes.
Yo, my feet don't touch the ground.
Why would I rent shoes? No exceptions.
What size? You got 9 1/2? Yeah.
Well, give me 14.
Wide.
Come on, chill.
Takes you 10 minutes to roll the ball.
I gotta be accurate 'cause I'm carrying you.
I'm doing all the scoring.
All right, but just hurry up, man.
Come on.
We need this.
Ahh! Did you-- yes! Did you see that? 193.
What up? Pay me, ma.
Oh, we gonna let it ride.
Next time, we gonna kick your butts.
Ok, that's next time, But you know the rules when you lose.
Gotta settle up.
I--I need my money.
Oh.
You saying I'm not good for it? We better run, son.
No, I'm not saying that.
Then, what are you saying? That your mother is a welsher? That she doesn't pay her debts? That she's got no honor? Is that what you saying? Not anymore.
That's right, not anymore.
Now sit back and watch the magic.
I'm gonna make 10 pins disappear.
I'm sure you will, 'cause you just made $20 disappear.
Hey, hey, look at that.
That's my boy over there.
He's got the eye of the tiger.
While you're over here arguing about money with your mama, He's over there about to pick up that spare.
Hey, I like that sound, ma.
That mean you happy.
I am happy.
Tomorrow's my wedding anniversary.
Aw, man, you want yo card now or when I buy it? I'll wait till you buy it.
All right.
I'll buy it soon as you give me that $20.
Oh, not again with that, OK? Here you go.
Ma, this $5.
00.
You owe me $20.
Those are 5 mother dollars.
They're better than the regular dollars.
They're filled with love and guilt.
All right, then.
Happy anniversary.
5 lousy dollars? They're mother dollars.
Not from you, they're not.
What's pop getting you? Well, I'm hoping he'll take my picture again.
See, that was, like, 15 years ago, 10 years ago.
This is 5 years ago, And look at this one.
Oh.
It's a mirror.
Ah, God.
Not a wrinkle.
Thank God I'm not a white woman.
So, what you getting pop? Oh, I make him the same thing every year.
I do his favorite meal, followed by his favorite dessert.
Ma, I don't wanna hear that.
It's cobbler.
Yeah, I bet it is.
Ooh.
Where's your brother? Upstairs in the bed.
Is coach in the kitchen? No.
Well, if Mike's in bed and coach isn't in the kitchen, Who made that noise? Mm-mm-m.
Might be a killer.
You should go check.
Heh.
Excuse me.
If you're looking For the food, it's on the bottom.
Oh.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Who the hell are you? Heh.
Oh, I'm Monica, f-from the gutter.
That's what I would have guessed.
No, no, no.
The bowling alley.
Oh, right.
I didn't recognize you without your pants.
Wow.
This is really embarrassing.
I--I didn't anticipate running into anybody, so How did you get into my house? Well, judging by this number 98 Jersey she's wearing, I've come to the conclusion That Mike fingerprints is all over this.
And that.
Why don't I go get dressed.
Good idea.
Michael, get down here! Yeah, Michael! Get your ass down here now! The nerve of him, mama! Come to our house and turn it into the bunny ranch.
I don't know how you ever gonna forgive him.
And don't you blame yourself, 'cause you raised us better than this.
I'm a prime example.
Chill.
Yes, ma'am.
You know I can do this myself, don't you? I know.
Good.
Now we both do.
I just saw a half-naked woman run up the stairs.
Man, it's good to have Mike home again.
Coach? No, it's not.
I mean, it's good to have him home again, but-- What's for breakfast, baby? Good morning, everybody.
Oh, I bet it is, mister! She came downstairs, didn't she? Yes, she did, And she showed me and mama her ass.
I saw some of it, too.
A-and it was just wrong, Michael.
What is wrong with you? Hey, pop, I mean, I'm sorry.
I thought we'd be gone before anybody got up.
Well, I don't like it.
It's disrespectful.
Disrespectful.
But, you know, I think this might be fortuitous.
Fortuitous! Oh, hush up.
Now, look, if we all gonna live together under one roof, There need to be some new rules, Starting with this one-- no more overnight guests.
Oh, come on, mom.
I mean, I'm sorry, all right? I promise you'll never bump into any of my dates again, all right? Oh, I know I won't, Because there won't be any more dates here.
And this is just the beginning.
Starting with these new rules, We are gonna have to take care of this house ourself.
Isn't that right, coach? Absolutely right.
Money is tight.
Your mother and I were just talking about this last night.
absolutely right, money is tight mom and dad talked about it just last night Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Look.
Listen up.
Mike, you're gonna do the heavy stuff.
And, chill, you're gonna do the dishes and the vacuuming.
Coach, I can't do that stuff.
I'm physically challenged.
There is nothing you can't do, including toilets.
Now, you gonna pull your weight around here just like the rest of us.
Uh, I just wanted to say good-bye t-- Get out.
I should give her a ride.
Didn't you already do that? Here you go.
Hey, man, I don't know what I'm gonna do about these new house rules.
A grown-ass man been living in New York For the last decade on my own, used to being free.
I had a dream.
I had a dream that one day Mike Trainor would be free, Free to bring a big, bodacious woman home to his mama.
Get over it, man.
But I'm serious.
You don't bring women home? Of course I do.
That's why that rule didn't bother me, 'cause I'm creative and crafty.
You know, the garage can be a real magical place.
The garage? Really? Oh, yeah.
You know that sit-down lawn mower we got? Just start that sucker up, Put it in neutral, It vibrates.
I got a date with that girl Janine tomorrow night, And I'm not gonna let mama slow me down.
Which one, church Janine or strip-club Janine? Oh, church Janine.
Strip-club Janine, she asks for money.
Church Janine, she asks for forgiveness, And I'm a very forgiving man.
So, what you gonna do about this, man? What am I gonna do? I'm gonna do what a man does.
I'm not gonna hide in the garage like you.
I'm gonna go home, and I'm gonna confront her.
I'm gonna say, "mama, "listen to my house rule.
"I run this thing.
These are what my house rules are.
" That's what I'm gonna do.
This boy done forgot he got a black mama.
Listen here, mama.
I got something to tell you.
What? Go ahead, Mike.
Tell her.
Tell me what? H-happy anniversary, mama.
Thank you.
Wasn't there more to it? You're pretty.
All right, chill.
Let's go.
Mike wanted to tell you he a grown-ass man And that he wanna bring women in the house Here we go.
Your favorite.
Filet mignon? What did I do to deserve this? Well, I only make it once a year.
Yes, you do, And I appreciate it.
Why don't we have this more often? Well, it's a special meal For a special occasion.
Honey, any time you make this is a special occasion.
So, how was your day? Baby, it was terrific.
I got this kid playing tight end.
I'm telling you something-- That boy can catch anything I throw at him.
I mean anything.
Interesting.
Ah, I made your favorite dessert, Peach cobbler.
Oh, Adele.
Honey, I'm the luckiest man in the world.
Yes, you are.
And I married the right woman.
Yes.
How many years has it been? Who remembers, baby? Would you please pass the peas? Mm-hmm.
Get the peas Your damn self! What? What did I say?! Yeah, baby.
Yeah, I know.
So, tell me.
What you wearing right now? Ooh.
The headband with the feathers.
Ooh, that's what's up.
Oh, girl, you better believe I got on my cowboy hat.
Watch out, now.
Watch out.
Oh, you don't want me to say that, do you? Really? Girl, you so nasty.
All right, I'll do it for you this one time.
What I'm gonna do is, right, I'm gonna go in the freezer, right Chill! I swear to God you better stay away from my Popsicles! And, Tania, I don't know who you are, But I'm gonna call your mother! Shoot.
I swear to God there must be a fire sale on hos.
Tania? Tania? Hey, isn't it beautiful here? I mean, look at the moonlight Just dancing on the lake.
Yeah.
It's pretty, all right.
But I was thinking Maybe we can go back to your place.
Hmm.
Well, I--I was thinking the same thing, But maybe at your place.
Mmm, no.
That won't work.
I've got roommates, And I have a tendency to, uh-- How should I put this? Make a lot of noise.
Hmm.
I like the sound of that.
You haven't heard anything yet.
I got an idea.
How 'bout we go to a hotel? What's going on here, Michael? Are you married? No.
What are you talking about? Well, I have your work number and your cell number.
You never gave me your home number, And now we can't go back to your place, And you wanna take me to a hotel? What's going on here, Mike? I live with my mama.
Say that again? I live with my mama.
Are you trying to make that sound sexy? Baby, I don't know what else to do.
I do.
Take me home.
Mike You're a grown man.
You should be free.
Plus, you bought the damn house.
Can't have a little company, that's just not right.
And, chill, as far as I'm concerned, Adults can do anything they wanna do with a Popsicle.
I say live and let live, son.
Well, you got our back with mom? 'cause she's treating us like 9-year-olds.
Oh, you know I do.
You know I do.
You can count on me.
Ho! Ha ha! Ha! Score! Score! Score! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha! But first I gotta figure out Why she's not talking to me.
You in the doghouse, too? Evidently.
You know, we were having this nice little supper last night, And she just got up and walked out on me for no good reason.
Well, what did you get her? What do you mean, what did I get her? For your anniversary.
Last night wasn't our anniversary.
Our anniversary isn't until-- Oh, hell, no.
Score! Score! Score! Man, what the hell are you doing? Mike, you gotta do this, man.
I can't work this vacuum and the wheelchair at the same time.
Chill, I'm doing everything else, man.
Michael, I'm handicapped.
You're full of crap.
Uh-uh.
I'm not doing it.
Dude, for the first time in my life, I see my limitations.
It's depressing, Michael.
I'm gonna have to go through life Knowing I'll never be able to work a vacuum cleaner And, as God is my witness, do toilets ever again.
You realize a year ago, I had a maid, a cook, Even had a guy who held an umbrella over my head when it rained, A white guy.
You know those dudes are pricey.
Life is funny, huh? Not funny, ha-ha, But your life went to crap, ha-ha.
You know what? I'm gonna get you back for this.
You can start by folding these towels.
My legs, Michael! My legs! Shut up! Adele! You think you're gonna win me back with flowers and candles And that's gonna make up for you forgetting 39 years of marriage? Baby, I'm sorry.
Yes.
You're sorry, all right.
You're a sorry excuse for a husband.
Adele, what is it gonna take for you to just listen to me? A rip in the fabric of time.
Come on, baby.
Adele.
Look, I feel like I'm in a prison movie And I'm talking to you through the glass.
Well, you're not gonna get a Shawshank redemption.
Baby, I forgot.
Blame it on my head, Not my heart.
Oh, Marcel.
Honey, I may have forgotten our anniversary, I may forget a lot of things, But, baby, I'll never forget how much I love you.
Open the champagne, I might come out.
Here you go, darling.
I was really hurt.
I know, baby, and I'm sorry.
Next time, just remind me, OK? It's like you always say.
Everybody needs a little help now and then.
All right, I will.
Happy Birthday, baby.
Oh Ha ha ha.
I'm gonna hurt you.
I'm just teasing.
Happy anniversary.
All right.
Yes.
Ah, yeah.
Look at that.
The most beautiful one yet.
This is crazy.
But it's a little kinky, too.
I know.
The garage can be a magical place.
Ohh.
Occupied! "33 and 35"? What's this? It's a reminder of how old your sons are.
Our sons are 32 and 34.
Oh.
Well, the point is they're grown men.
Damn it, I worked on that all day.
Mama, you must have known I had girlfriends All those years in New York.
Yeah, but they weren't in my kitchen Picking over my fruit, Showing me their peaches.
Hey, mama, I'm sorry about that, But we have to come up with some kind of solution here.
How you wanna handle this, Michael? Do you want me to pretend that you came up With the solution that I'm about to present to you, Or do you want me to just cut to the chase? Just cut to the chase.
You will move to the pool house.
Whatever happens in the pool house stays in the pool house, Or I will burn down the pool house.
You understand me? Yes, ma'am.
Oh, thank you.
Ok.
I will allow chill to carry on in the garage.
You know about that? Michael, it's difficult to stand under the weight of all I know.
Uh, by the way, You'll have to clean the pool.
But, mama, I'm already-- Think of it as a booty tax.
Yeah.
Whoo! That's my partner there, boy.
We whipped you again, coach! No, you mean you got lucky again, coach.
All right.
You know the rules.
Time to settle up.
A good bet is a paid bet.
You're absolutely right, chill.
I admit it.
I lost.
Well, it's not the first time I've lost.
In fact, when you were born, I lost a lot of things.
I lost my girlish figure, My perkies, a lot of sleep, Not to mention the hours I lost Giving birth to both of you naturally Without an epidural.
So, yes, you did win this silly little game, Because, oh, you knocked over more pieces of wood than I did.
She's good at this, boys.
Ok, mama, you don't have to pay.
You win.
You lose, but you win.
You do know I will never play with you again.
That's 'cause you ain't got no game.
Oh, it's on now.
All right! Put your money where your mouth is.
Oh, come on, pop.
I got $20 that say we gonna beat you again.
You're on.
I'll hold the money.
I'll never see that again.
No, you won't.
Mike, hit the rack.
Come on, baby.
Let's bowl.
Let's go! Whoo! You guys gonna hear this line right for the first time right now.
Action! All right, come on.
Listen up.
I made a list.
Mike, you're gonna take care of the heavy stuff.
Chill, you gonna dish-- But you promised them they'd hear it right, Carl.
Your mother and I are gonna wipe the floor with you tonight.
That's right.
You goin' down.
Down.
Downtown.
You two don't stand a chance.
We've been practicing on the playstation.
Hey, hey, hey.
You don't have a chance, son.
Tonight, we're gonna kick your butts.
That's right.
Listen to the m-a-n.
We'll see.
Hi there.
Hi there yourself.
I need a pair of shoes.
Well, you've come to the right place.
You're about a12? Actually, I'm a 14.
Oh.
Heh heh.
And I'm Monica.
I'm Mike.
And I'm trying to go bowling here.
Come on, man.
Let's go.
Thank you, Monica.
Wait a minute.
Where are you going? I'm going bowling.
I bowl, too.
Mm-mmm.
Not without shoes, you're not.
I'm not rentin' no shoes.
Ok, look, don't give me a hard time.
Nobody bowls without shoes.
Yo, my feet don't touch the ground.
Why would I rent shoes? No exceptions.
What size? You got 9 1/2? Yeah.
Well, give me 14.
Wide.
Come on, chill.
Takes you 10 minutes to roll the ball.
I gotta be accurate 'cause I'm carrying you.
I'm doing all the scoring.
All right, but just hurry up, man.
Come on.
We need this.
Ahh! Did you-- yes! Did you see that? 193.
What up? Pay me, ma.
Oh, we gonna let it ride.
Next time, we gonna kick your butts.
Ok, that's next time, But you know the rules when you lose.
Gotta settle up.
I--I need my money.
Oh.
You saying I'm not good for it? We better run, son.
No, I'm not saying that.
Then, what are you saying? That your mother is a welsher? That she doesn't pay her debts? That she's got no honor? Is that what you saying? Not anymore.
That's right, not anymore.
Now sit back and watch the magic.
I'm gonna make 10 pins disappear.
I'm sure you will, 'cause you just made $20 disappear.
Hey, hey, look at that.
That's my boy over there.
He's got the eye of the tiger.
While you're over here arguing about money with your mama, He's over there about to pick up that spare.
Hey, I like that sound, ma.
That mean you happy.
I am happy.
Tomorrow's my wedding anniversary.
Aw, man, you want yo card now or when I buy it? I'll wait till you buy it.
All right.
I'll buy it soon as you give me that $20.
Oh, not again with that, OK? Here you go.
Ma, this $5.
00.
You owe me $20.
Those are 5 mother dollars.
They're better than the regular dollars.
They're filled with love and guilt.
All right, then.
Happy anniversary.
5 lousy dollars? They're mother dollars.
Not from you, they're not.
What's pop getting you? Well, I'm hoping he'll take my picture again.
See, that was, like, 15 years ago, 10 years ago.
This is 5 years ago, And look at this one.
Oh.
It's a mirror.
Ah, God.
Not a wrinkle.
Thank God I'm not a white woman.
So, what you getting pop? Oh, I make him the same thing every year.
I do his favorite meal, followed by his favorite dessert.
Ma, I don't wanna hear that.
It's cobbler.
Yeah, I bet it is.
Ooh.
Where's your brother? Upstairs in the bed.
Is coach in the kitchen? No.
Well, if Mike's in bed and coach isn't in the kitchen, Who made that noise? Mm-mm-m.
Might be a killer.
You should go check.
Heh.
Excuse me.
If you're looking For the food, it's on the bottom.
Oh.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Who the hell are you? Heh.
Oh, I'm Monica, f-from the gutter.
That's what I would have guessed.
No, no, no.
The bowling alley.
Oh, right.
I didn't recognize you without your pants.
Wow.
This is really embarrassing.
I--I didn't anticipate running into anybody, so How did you get into my house? Well, judging by this number 98 Jersey she's wearing, I've come to the conclusion That Mike fingerprints is all over this.
And that.
Why don't I go get dressed.
Good idea.
Michael, get down here! Yeah, Michael! Get your ass down here now! The nerve of him, mama! Come to our house and turn it into the bunny ranch.
I don't know how you ever gonna forgive him.
And don't you blame yourself, 'cause you raised us better than this.
I'm a prime example.
Chill.
Yes, ma'am.
You know I can do this myself, don't you? I know.
Good.
Now we both do.
I just saw a half-naked woman run up the stairs.
Man, it's good to have Mike home again.
Coach? No, it's not.
I mean, it's good to have him home again, but-- What's for breakfast, baby? Good morning, everybody.
Oh, I bet it is, mister! She came downstairs, didn't she? Yes, she did, And she showed me and mama her ass.
I saw some of it, too.
A-and it was just wrong, Michael.
What is wrong with you? Hey, pop, I mean, I'm sorry.
I thought we'd be gone before anybody got up.
Well, I don't like it.
It's disrespectful.
Disrespectful.
But, you know, I think this might be fortuitous.
Fortuitous! Oh, hush up.
Now, look, if we all gonna live together under one roof, There need to be some new rules, Starting with this one-- no more overnight guests.
Oh, come on, mom.
I mean, I'm sorry, all right? I promise you'll never bump into any of my dates again, all right? Oh, I know I won't, Because there won't be any more dates here.
And this is just the beginning.
Starting with these new rules, We are gonna have to take care of this house ourself.
Isn't that right, coach? Absolutely right.
Money is tight.
Your mother and I were just talking about this last night.
absolutely right, money is tight mom and dad talked about it just last night Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Look.
Listen up.
Mike, you're gonna do the heavy stuff.
And, chill, you're gonna do the dishes and the vacuuming.
Coach, I can't do that stuff.
I'm physically challenged.
There is nothing you can't do, including toilets.
Now, you gonna pull your weight around here just like the rest of us.
Uh, I just wanted to say good-bye t-- Get out.
I should give her a ride.
Didn't you already do that? Here you go.
Hey, man, I don't know what I'm gonna do about these new house rules.
A grown-ass man been living in New York For the last decade on my own, used to being free.
I had a dream.
I had a dream that one day Mike Trainor would be free, Free to bring a big, bodacious woman home to his mama.
Get over it, man.
But I'm serious.
You don't bring women home? Of course I do.
That's why that rule didn't bother me, 'cause I'm creative and crafty.
You know, the garage can be a real magical place.
The garage? Really? Oh, yeah.
You know that sit-down lawn mower we got? Just start that sucker up, Put it in neutral, It vibrates.
I got a date with that girl Janine tomorrow night, And I'm not gonna let mama slow me down.
Which one, church Janine or strip-club Janine? Oh, church Janine.
Strip-club Janine, she asks for money.
Church Janine, she asks for forgiveness, And I'm a very forgiving man.
So, what you gonna do about this, man? What am I gonna do? I'm gonna do what a man does.
I'm not gonna hide in the garage like you.
I'm gonna go home, and I'm gonna confront her.
I'm gonna say, "mama, "listen to my house rule.
"I run this thing.
These are what my house rules are.
" That's what I'm gonna do.
This boy done forgot he got a black mama.
Listen here, mama.
I got something to tell you.
What? Go ahead, Mike.
Tell her.
Tell me what? H-happy anniversary, mama.
Thank you.
Wasn't there more to it? You're pretty.
All right, chill.
Let's go.
Mike wanted to tell you he a grown-ass man And that he wanna bring women in the house Here we go.
Your favorite.
Filet mignon? What did I do to deserve this? Well, I only make it once a year.
Yes, you do, And I appreciate it.
Why don't we have this more often? Well, it's a special meal For a special occasion.
Honey, any time you make this is a special occasion.
So, how was your day? Baby, it was terrific.
I got this kid playing tight end.
I'm telling you something-- That boy can catch anything I throw at him.
I mean anything.
Interesting.
Ah, I made your favorite dessert, Peach cobbler.
Oh, Adele.
Honey, I'm the luckiest man in the world.
Yes, you are.
And I married the right woman.
Yes.
How many years has it been? Who remembers, baby? Would you please pass the peas? Mm-hmm.
Get the peas Your damn self! What? What did I say?! Yeah, baby.
Yeah, I know.
So, tell me.
What you wearing right now? Ooh.
The headband with the feathers.
Ooh, that's what's up.
Oh, girl, you better believe I got on my cowboy hat.
Watch out, now.
Watch out.
Oh, you don't want me to say that, do you? Really? Girl, you so nasty.
All right, I'll do it for you this one time.
What I'm gonna do is, right, I'm gonna go in the freezer, right Chill! I swear to God you better stay away from my Popsicles! And, Tania, I don't know who you are, But I'm gonna call your mother! Shoot.
I swear to God there must be a fire sale on hos.
Tania? Tania? Hey, isn't it beautiful here? I mean, look at the moonlight Just dancing on the lake.
Yeah.
It's pretty, all right.
But I was thinking Maybe we can go back to your place.
Hmm.
Well, I--I was thinking the same thing, But maybe at your place.
Mmm, no.
That won't work.
I've got roommates, And I have a tendency to, uh-- How should I put this? Make a lot of noise.
Hmm.
I like the sound of that.
You haven't heard anything yet.
I got an idea.
How 'bout we go to a hotel? What's going on here, Michael? Are you married? No.
What are you talking about? Well, I have your work number and your cell number.
You never gave me your home number, And now we can't go back to your place, And you wanna take me to a hotel? What's going on here, Mike? I live with my mama.
Say that again? I live with my mama.
Are you trying to make that sound sexy? Baby, I don't know what else to do.
I do.
Take me home.
Mike You're a grown man.
You should be free.
Plus, you bought the damn house.
Can't have a little company, that's just not right.
And, chill, as far as I'm concerned, Adults can do anything they wanna do with a Popsicle.
I say live and let live, son.
Well, you got our back with mom? 'cause she's treating us like 9-year-olds.
Oh, you know I do.
You know I do.
You can count on me.
Ho! Ha ha! Ha! Score! Score! Score! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha! But first I gotta figure out Why she's not talking to me.
You in the doghouse, too? Evidently.
You know, we were having this nice little supper last night, And she just got up and walked out on me for no good reason.
Well, what did you get her? What do you mean, what did I get her? For your anniversary.
Last night wasn't our anniversary.
Our anniversary isn't until-- Oh, hell, no.
Score! Score! Score! Man, what the hell are you doing? Mike, you gotta do this, man.
I can't work this vacuum and the wheelchair at the same time.
Chill, I'm doing everything else, man.
Michael, I'm handicapped.
You're full of crap.
Uh-uh.
I'm not doing it.
Dude, for the first time in my life, I see my limitations.
It's depressing, Michael.
I'm gonna have to go through life Knowing I'll never be able to work a vacuum cleaner And, as God is my witness, do toilets ever again.
You realize a year ago, I had a maid, a cook, Even had a guy who held an umbrella over my head when it rained, A white guy.
You know those dudes are pricey.
Life is funny, huh? Not funny, ha-ha, But your life went to crap, ha-ha.
You know what? I'm gonna get you back for this.
You can start by folding these towels.
My legs, Michael! My legs! Shut up! Adele! You think you're gonna win me back with flowers and candles And that's gonna make up for you forgetting 39 years of marriage? Baby, I'm sorry.
Yes.
You're sorry, all right.
You're a sorry excuse for a husband.
Adele, what is it gonna take for you to just listen to me? A rip in the fabric of time.
Come on, baby.
Adele.
Look, I feel like I'm in a prison movie And I'm talking to you through the glass.
Well, you're not gonna get a Shawshank redemption.
Baby, I forgot.
Blame it on my head, Not my heart.
Oh, Marcel.
Honey, I may have forgotten our anniversary, I may forget a lot of things, But, baby, I'll never forget how much I love you.
Open the champagne, I might come out.
Here you go, darling.
I was really hurt.
I know, baby, and I'm sorry.
Next time, just remind me, OK? It's like you always say.
Everybody needs a little help now and then.
All right, I will.
Happy Birthday, baby.
Oh Ha ha ha.
I'm gonna hurt you.
I'm just teasing.
Happy anniversary.
All right.
Yes.
Ah, yeah.
Look at that.
The most beautiful one yet.
This is crazy.
But it's a little kinky, too.
I know.
The garage can be a magical place.
Ohh.
Occupied! "33 and 35"? What's this? It's a reminder of how old your sons are.
Our sons are 32 and 34.
Oh.
Well, the point is they're grown men.
Damn it, I worked on that all day.
Mama, you must have known I had girlfriends All those years in New York.
Yeah, but they weren't in my kitchen Picking over my fruit, Showing me their peaches.
Hey, mama, I'm sorry about that, But we have to come up with some kind of solution here.
How you wanna handle this, Michael? Do you want me to pretend that you came up With the solution that I'm about to present to you, Or do you want me to just cut to the chase? Just cut to the chase.
You will move to the pool house.
Whatever happens in the pool house stays in the pool house, Or I will burn down the pool house.
You understand me? Yes, ma'am.
Oh, thank you.
Ok.
I will allow chill to carry on in the garage.
You know about that? Michael, it's difficult to stand under the weight of all I know.
Uh, by the way, You'll have to clean the pool.
But, mama, I'm already-- Think of it as a booty tax.
Yeah.
Whoo! That's my partner there, boy.
We whipped you again, coach! No, you mean you got lucky again, coach.
All right.
You know the rules.
Time to settle up.
A good bet is a paid bet.
You're absolutely right, chill.
I admit it.
I lost.
Well, it's not the first time I've lost.
In fact, when you were born, I lost a lot of things.
I lost my girlish figure, My perkies, a lot of sleep, Not to mention the hours I lost Giving birth to both of you naturally Without an epidural.
So, yes, you did win this silly little game, Because, oh, you knocked over more pieces of wood than I did.
She's good at this, boys.
Ok, mama, you don't have to pay.
You win.
You lose, but you win.
You do know I will never play with you again.
That's 'cause you ain't got no game.
Oh, it's on now.
All right! Put your money where your mouth is.
Oh, come on, pop.
I got $20 that say we gonna beat you again.
You're on.
I'll hold the money.
I'll never see that again.
No, you won't.
Mike, hit the rack.
Come on, baby.
Let's bowl.
Let's go! Whoo! You guys gonna hear this line right for the first time right now.
Action! All right, come on.
Listen up.
I made a list.
Mike, you're gonna take care of the heavy stuff.
Chill, you gonna dish-- But you promised them they'd hear it right, Carl.