Call Me Dad (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Honey?
What's up?
Are you up?
Could you pop Bunny in the charger?
There you go.
CALL ME DAD
Honey, I was thinking
Why don't you go out
with your friends tonight?
Sure
but I have a job
today and tomorrow.
It's just that the girls asked
if they could come by later.
Emma left Nicklas.
She's really upset.
Is she okay?
I feel sorry for her.
I can go to the cinema,
so they can come over.
I think
they expect to stay quite late.
The cinema doesn't take very long.
Well then I'll text Laust
and David and figure something out.
Are you sure?
I can cancel the girls.
Of course,
cheering Emma up is more important.
I'm glad you're taking care of her.
I'm going back to bed.
I'm tired, honey.
Do you want to join me?
We can play a bit with Bunny.
Actually, honey,
I think I'll go for a swim.
Okay.
Emil Bøgh.
That's me.
How bad was the bleeding?
It was pretty bad.
I've never seen so much blood.
And what what was the colour?
-The colour?
-Yes.
Yes, the colour of the blood.
Was it dark red
rusty red or a lighter colour?
I would say a lighter colour.
-I see. A lighter colour?
-Yes.
Is that so?
I'm not completely certain.
Right
Have you noticed
a smell of ether recently?
-No, I don't think so.
-You don't think so?
No. Should I pay attention to that?
Yes.
-Is it serious?
-It's difficult to say.
I don't think so,
but promise me this
Don't get on a plane in the next
two and a half months.
-Right.
-It's very important.
-Okay, I won't.
-Good.
I'm just glad you two are happy,
and that it is going well.
It's great.
-But it is also a bit strange, dear.
-Yes.
I've known Viktor since you went
to nursery. I changed his nappies!
But I never thought of him that way.
You need to know that, dear.
-You need to know that.
-I know that.
I think it's great and amazing.
A summer flirt can only be healthy.
-I really think so.
-No, we've been dating five months.
Five months?
Yes, and we had a couple of months
at the start, figuring things out.
Whether there was anything to it
or not.
So it's more like seven months.
Yes, there about.
-You're the first person we've told.
-I'm glad to hear it.
That's very nice of you.
Hi Helle!
-Hi, it's Erik!
-Hi Erik!
-Rock on!
-Rock on! You too!
-Lovely to see you, Helle.
-You too, Erik. You too.
It's been far too long.
Yes, it has been.
-Hi there.
-Hi Erik. Hi.
That's a lovely balloon
you have there.
Nothing beats
taking a grandchild to the zoo.
Look forward to it.
-It'll be wonderful.
-Suddenly feeling the pressure?
Really feeling it now, yeah.
Seriously though
I've missed you, Helle.
I think it's been far too long
since we've got together
over a glass of wine.
-Yes, it is.
-Granddad!
Just a moment
It's fine, Erik.
We can talk another time.
-Just focus on your
-I was thinking.
Are you busy this evening?
If not, I could bring round
a heavy-bodied Italian.
That's really sweet of you, Erik,
but
I have a boyfriend now.
-A boyfriend?
-A boyfriend, yes.
How long have you had that?
Around six
-No, seven.
-No, seven months.
-Seven months?
-Granddad, my balloon!
Damn it!
I told you to hold on to it!
Sorry, sweetie.
Granddad didn't mean that.
We'll buy you another one.
We can buy the elephant, you wanted.
We're just going to
We'll head over to
-Bye!
-Bye, Erik. See you!
Or we could go see
the real elephants right over there.
You could have told him
about your boyfriend.
He's been fixing your patio
Stop it.
We wanted to tell you first. Okay?
My mum tells me
you've been together seven months.
Yes. She was a bit worried
about telling you.
Well she needn't have been.
I'm thinking about
how hard it must have been
to keep it a secret.
Yeah I guess it was.
We wanted to be sure
it wasn't just sexual.
-I mean, these things take time.
-Yeah.
One shouldn't rush things.
-I'm a firm believer in that.
-Right.
Just like these breads.
They need time to rise
in order to be good bread.
Those just need to rise overnight.
But you know what I mean, right?
Of course.
I've never felt this way before.
Never like this.
I don't know if you know that.
I've never felt this way before.
-Your mother is bloody amazing.
-Yeah, she's great.
She really is.
And it's because of you
that I'm happy. You know that?
I'm happy because of you.
I am! I'd never have met her
had we not been in nursery together.
-Let that sink in. It's insane.
-Yes
-I owe you thanks.
-There's no need to thank me.
But I want to.
Let me take you out on the town.
Wine, snacks, everything. You game?
-Tonight?
-Yes.
-I can't, I'm afraid.
-Why not?
I've got plans with Laust and David.
Bring them along then.
-Okay.
-Lets do it!
-My treat.
-Wine and snacks?
-Yeah, wine and snacks. Please?
-Sure.
I've also found us a waitress.
She'll even do it for free.
-Oh?
-Yeah.
-Who is that?
-Lise.
-Isn't that great.
-Yes, but I'm not sure we need it.
Of course, we'll be insanely busy.
It's more that we won't need it,
because I've spoken to Carla.
Carla was fired, Emil.
I gave her a talking to
and said she'd get a second chance.
-She deserves that.
-We fired Carla.
Carla isn't fired, as she has
some psychological problems,
and we need to accommodate that,
right?
And you don't kick people
when they are on the ground.
Carla was fired.
She'll be in today.
Viktor, where are the spring onions?
-In the box. Yeah.
-In the box?
How's the bread going, Carla?
This crust is so hard.
It's impossible to cut.
Carla, speak quietly.
-Lise, help Carla with the bread.
-Sure.
Carla, shall I handle that?
No, it's okay. I can cut it.
Carla, can you let Lise help you?
No, I'll cut the bread
and complete the task I was given.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-This all looks really lovely.
-Yes, you'll have some nice food.
Those carrots They won't do.
Oh, okay.
A child could choke on them.
-Yeah.
-Okay.
I told you before, Lise.
Could you take these away?
She's new.
-We'll meditate soon, sweetie.
-Sounds great.
But let me take some pictures
of the nice food for my Instagram.
-Of course.
-Maybe you can help me.
I'd like to include you.
Could you bring the food over here?
Lise,
can you move the food over there?
Sweetie,
do you want to sit with Buddha?
A little more.
There we go. Excuse me.
Would you be so kind
as to take a picture?
Please hurry.
We need to find peace again.
Turn it upright.
-Please turn it.
-Okay.
Sorry, I'm not a professional.
That's fine.
-Ready? Is the food visible?
-Yes, it's here.
-Three, two, one sawadika.
-Sawadika.
I could sense that was a good one.
Thank you, friends.
-I'll get those spring onions.
-Yes, do that.
-All good.
-Enjoy your work.
Lise, goddamn it. Those carrots.
-What?
-We need to focus.
Emil,
can you find those spring onions?
I have them here!
Come on, Carla.
Kindly do not snap your fingers
at me.
I asked for some bread.
Can you do that?
Do you talk down to me
because I am a woman?
-No, but you are an employee.
-You're mansplaining.
-I'm not! Bring the bread over!
-Stop doing that.
Can you do that?
I'm your boss, Carla!
-Are you crazy?
-Get the bread!
No, I won't!
She needs to do her job!
-What's going on?
-He threatened me!
Threatened you? They're salad tongs.
What would I do?
Stop threatening her!
What's up with you guys?
Could you for once
behave like normal people?
That's enough!
What heck is going on out here?
Don't you care that 20 babies
are meditating in there?
-That is not okay.
-No, it isn't. We are really sorry.
They've lost all their balance
because of your carrying on
and negative energy.
You're ruining it for me.
It's not okay.
No, it is not okay. It is our fault,
and it is very unprofessional.
-Yes. I'm extremely disappointed.
-It won't happen again.
-Thilde.
-I'll be right there.
-I'm so sorry.
-Thank you.
Try to be quiet, thanks.
So you think I'm abnormal.
What?
-This is all too much.
-What now?
Carla.
Carla, that's not what I meant.
Carla. Stop, let's talk.
You don't know how bad I feel.
No, but I'm trying to understand.
And then you shout at me
that I'm not normal.
That's not what I meant.
Of course you meant that!
That's why you hired Lise!
-To ditch your abnormal girlfriend.
-No, that was Viktor.
I saw how you stared at her arse.
-That's not true!
-Go be with cute, lovely Lise.
But you can do it without me!
I've not looked at anyone's arse.
-You know, you can stop lying.
-Carla, stop it.
Carla, stop it.
You can't cycle home barefoot.
-Shut up.
-Carla.
That's it! This is not working.
Pack your stuff and go home.
I've had enough.
-Goodbye.
-Sorry. We'll pack up now.
I think the babies and mothers
were meditating together.
We're seated here.
What is a mindfulness experience
for a baby?
-They meditated.
-The kids did?
-The food was part of the process.
-Elias.
Welcome back. What would you like?
We I forgot to mention,
this is my treat.
-Why?
-That's a strange thing to ask.
I'd like to pay.
Is that okay? May I?
If you're serious, then fine by me.
I am. And we'll have
a Brunetto and a Maron.
-2020? Yes.
-Yes.
-Great. This is great.
-Yes, it's a wonderful place.
That looks fantastic.
-Cheers! And thank you.
-Cheers!
-One more?
-Let's get another.
I'll not be having more,
but I'll happily taste it.
-They hide the good ones here?
-Yeah, here.
It's like a Scrooge McDuck route,
showing off
-I'd have smacked him, were it me.
-What?
-Who?
-Viktor.
You don't go after someone's mother.
He's a literal motherfucker.
There's nothing worse.
I think it's sick.
I don't think it is sick.
You can't help falling in love.
You can't help loving someone.
That's not what I mean.
What then?
Hey, I'm on your side.
I don't want you on my side
if you want me to hit my friend.
-No, I mean
-That's what you just did.
-I'd support
-He fucked your mum.
He's fucking your mum.
I don't think they're fucking.
I think they're making love.
Because they're in love, right?
I can only assume that,
and that's what I'm sensing.
And it really does appear
that the feelings are real.
I do for them what you should do
for me - support them.
-Sorry.
-No, I'm sorry too.
I'll go take a pee.
-Viktor, can I ask you something?
-Sure, what?
-How does Emil feel about it?
-About what?
About you shagging his mum.
Oh, I think he is okay with it.
-That's fantastic.
-Yes.
-And how is it?
-How is what?
She's experienced. I'm experiencing
stuff I've never tried before,
stuff your 18-year-old girlfriends
can't even come close to.
She's not afraid.
Not at all. She goes all in.
It's a problem. Sometimes I come
in a minute and a half.
What can I do?
-A minute and a half?
-Yes.
What's that? Does she put
a finger up your arse?
-Yeah.
-And it takes a minute and a half?
-She's not afraid.
-But you are afraid?
I'm not afraid, but I don't want
anything near my butt-hole.
You say that,
but maybe you should be more open.
Okay, Emil's mum
can put a finger up my ass.
Don't even go near Helle.
-No, but you know what I mean.
-Yeah, yeah.
-Were you in that toilet over there?
-Yep.
We need to open this one.
-We're off for a smoke.
-Sure.
-Gentlemen.
-Hi.
We're about to close,
so let me print your bill.
-Are you closing?
-Yes, we are.
That'll be 3,250 kronor.
-Yes, of course.
-Yes, thank you.
I can't. I've forgotten my mobile
and my wallet.
They're at Helle's place.
Emil will pay.
-Perfect.
-Fantastic.
-Wonderful. Thanks.
-Thanks. Have a good evening.
-Thank you.
-This is for you.
You're fine the way you are, Carla.
If he can't see that
I'm just so confused
because I am so tired.
That's just the feeling I get.
I'm exhausted.
I am tired
Dating is supposed to be fun.
Remember, Carla,
you're the best person out there.
But there's all that doubt.
It is driving me insane.
That's because he doesn't listen.
He doesn't listen to or see you.
Not in the way you should be.
You need to be seen
No, that's me. And I'd like
to be allowed to be that.
Yes, but listen to me.
Have you heard about gas-lighting?
Yes, I have.
Hello, honey.
-Mouse?
-Yeah?
I am so
terribly sorry for being
Can you get Bunny, honey?
Bunny. Get Bunny.
-Bunny?
-Yes.
Honey, there's something
that I'd like to tell you.
Bunny wants to play.
Remember when we went to bingo
and I went home
to my mother's afterwards?
What happened at my mother's place
was that she told me
that she and Viktor
are a couple.
And that they've been that
Carla?
Carla, honey?
Could you
I'm telling you something.
SHOPPING
-Hi.
-Hi.
You're collecting rubbish too.
-Yes.
-Cool!
-Cool net.
-Thanks.
I have one too. It's just broken,
so I didn't bring it.
Okay.
-Well, nice meeting you.
-Yeah.
Good luck with your catch.
-Thanks. Have a nice trip.
-Bye.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-What's up?
-Sit down.
-What?
-Sit down for a moment.
What's up?
Oh, it's just Carla.
Carla has submitted
a formal complaint to her union.
She what?
It seems we have
"a psychologically damaging
and sexualised working environment".
Read it yourself.
Just great, Emil.
I told you to fire her.
Goddammit!
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