Craig of the Creek (2017) s01e02 Episode Script
You're It
Who's gonna help
when the danger overwhelms ♪
And the mysteries
are piled high? ♪
Who's gonna be around,
never gonna let you down ♪
When you're on a wild ride?
Your friends are
always by your side ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek
♪♪
[ Grunting ]
[ Gasps ]Sorry.
Will you go to
the dumb creek already?
I'm trying to study for a test
I have to take in two years!
[ Groans ]
[ Knock on door ]Hey, Kelsey!
You ready
to go to the creek?
Yeah. I just need
to finish something.
[ Dramatically ]
Enter my keep.
[ Normal voice ] My dad's
not home, so you can bring
your creek stuff inside.
But take off
your shoes!
♪♪
"and then he stabbed him
in the brain."
That seems like
a good place to stop.
♪♪
Man, I can't believe
your dad
let you keep your cape on
for your family portrait.
Yep. I said,
"A warrior would never
pose for a portrait
without their armor."
What could he do?
He wanted a family portrait,
and without me,
it's just a picture
of a guy with a mustache.
You're so lucky you don't have
any annoying brothers.
Yep, every day until dinner,
it's just me and Mortimer,
a young paladin
and her parakeet,
nobody to bother us
or talk to us or
make us
after-school snacks.
That sounds sad!
To be a great warrior
means to make
really sad
and painful sacrifices.
[ Thinking ] Said Kelsey,
looking off into the distance,
for pain was a warrior's
best friend,
and vengeance was also someone she occasionally hung out with.
I'm ready to go!
♪♪
Oh, man,
I'm so excited!
But that might be the four
liters of soda I drank.
[ Whistle blows ]Sailor Boy: Ahoy there!
It is time for the great
soda-bottle race to begin!
On your marks
get set
[ Whispering ]
Bird speed, Mortimer.
Drrrrrrop!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Go! Run!
[ Grunts ]
She's -- she's --
[ Gasps ]
No! No!
[ Gasps ]
-Tag. You're it.
-[ Growls ]
Oh, no! He's it!
[ All screaming ]
Mortimer!
I'm coming,
my winged ward![ Splash ]
Wait! We'll help!
Don't be a hero.
That's what I'mdoing!
Tag!
[ Wearily ]
You're it.
[ Screams ]
No tag-backs![ Panting ]
[ Panting ]
♪♪
Sailor Boy: [ Whispering ]
Tag. You're it.
Craig:
[ Echoing ] Kelsey
KelseyKelsey
JP:
Hey, wake up, girl!
[ Gasps, panting ]
Are you okay?
How's your pulse?
Yearning for battle.
Okay. How many JPs
do you see?
O-One.Not for long.
I'm makin' a robot clone
of myself
called
Johnbot Paulthousand.
See?
Everything's fine.
No, everything's notfine,
because I'm it!
Aah! Please don't tag me
with your demon hands!
Sorry.
Look, lots of kids
get tagged every year.
You just gotta tag someone else,
and then it'll be over.
Right.
Hello?
Hmm.
I'm not gonna tag
youguys!
I know.
I know where we can find
lots of kids to tag --
the Trading Tree!
Yeah! Let's go
to the Tradin' Tree!
To, uh, find
a kid to tag.
Chips, please!
Hmm.
[ Electricity crackles ]Mnh!
All right.
I'll trade you.
Take your pick.
Ooh! Spicy Beefers?
♪♪
[ Whispering ]
Just tag someone -- anyone.
[ Whispering ] I just want
to pick the right person.
Well, you better
do it soon,
because if one kid
recognizes you,
everybody's gonna run.
Hey, guys!
Check out these --
Oh, I'm --
I'm sorry.
My candy!
We'll help you
pick it up.
Sorry. I was just real excited
about these chips.
[ Whispering ]
Tag him.
-Sorry again, man.
-It's okay.
What a nice kid.
Why didn't you
tag him?
You were gonna
tag him?!
No.
A real warrior
would never do that
to a defenseless
little boy.
I want a realbattle.
So, who would be
a worthy opponent?
[ Whistle blows ]
[ Lisping ]
Clear the trail!
[ Children shouting ]Dry leaves --
number-two cause
of forest fires.
I just
saved your lives.
A Junior
Forest Scout.
Ugh!
They act like
they're soimportant
just because they have
a bunch of badges.
Well, I have one, too.
Kelsey, if you're
looking for a foe,
it's that kid.
His arrogance
will be his undoing.
You know,
I'm out here every day
keeping the creek safe
for everyone.
I think
it's only fair I get
a free bag of chips
every once in a while.
You want chips,
you gotta trade for 'em.
Kelsey's reckoning
was upon her.
Just a single touch,
and he would be transformed
into an outcast,
forced to wander
the creek alone
and to have to play
by himself every day
and make his own snacks
after school.
[ Groans ]
Why did she stop?
Just tag him, Kelsey!
[ Gasps ]
She's it!
[ Children screaming ]
Kelsey!
What happened?
I may be a cold-hearted
killing machine,
but to subject
a kid to this --
solitude,
loneliness --
wouldn't wish this upon
my smelliest enemy.
But you have to tag someone.
That's the game.
Well, then
I want to end the game!
Whoa.
Can you do that?
Can -- Can she do that?I don't know.
But I know someone else
who does!
[ Bird chirping ]
[ Taps ]
Great ancient wisdom
is what we seek,
so we call to you,
the Elders of the Creek.
What have you
to offer?
Great treasures.
Hmm.
You may crawl forth.
Welcome, travelers.
You are in the presence
of the Elders Three.
No one has dwelled in the creek
longer than we.
So, tell us the problem,
and our wisdom, you will attain,
but make haste,
for we are in the middle
of a very important
campaign.
Your elderships,
we come seeking knowledge
of the great game Tag.
[ All gasp ]
Ah, that wretched game
has been going on in the creek
for longer than even
we'vebeen here.
No one even knows
who started it.
Their names have been lost
to the sands of time.
I thought
Kate Chapman started it.
No, Kate Chapman
got tagged by Joe Landford.
I thought Joe Landford
tagged Ted Goldberg.
No one remembers, okay?
The sands of time!
Man, whatever happened
to Kate Chapman?
It doesn't matter
who usedto be it! I'mit now!
Elder Rock
has been compromised!
David, no!
I'm not going to tag you.
I'm not gonna tag anyone.
I want to end the game.
Well, I'm sorry,
but there isno end.
There's only one rule in Tag --
you get tagged, you're it.
That's the game.
It's stupid.
So, if I don't tag someone,
I'll be it forever.
I'm afraid so.[ Cellphone clicking ]
What the -- Guys!
Kate Chapman
lives in Germany now.
Don't worry. There's gotta be
something we can do.
[ Dog barking ]Kelsey! Okay, okay.
If you don't wanna tag
a kid,
you could always tag a dog
dressed up like a kid!
[ Panting ]
JP, I appreciate you
offering up your dog for this.
Oh, it's not mydog.
But I have to leave
the creek -- for good.
What? Why?
[ Sad music plays ]You heard the Elders.
This game is
a never-ending plague,
and the only way to stop
anyone else from being it
is for the it
to leave the creek.
But why does it
have to be you?
Because I'm a warrior.
I've been looking for a quest
for my entire life.
I thought it would be
something cool,
like beheading
a 20-foot goat-man.
Maybe it's to end Tag.
Maybe my destiny
is to be alone.
No! Being alone
isn'tyour destiny.
Yeah, I bet
it's the goat-man one.
I already know what it's like
to be on my own.
It's what's best
for everyone.
But what about
what's best for you?
Craig.
You'reit.
[ Music slows, distorts ]
Whoooooooooa!
My clothes.
Who are you?
Hey, Chunky!
Hey, Barnold.
I thought
of a new game.
It's called Tag.
Oh, boy!
How do you play Tag?
I'll show you.
Chunky, no!
Who's Chunky?
Craig! I was going to take Tag
out of the creek!
Tag me back!
Yes, tag-backs!
Yes, tag-backs!
Come down here
and tag me!
You don't deserve
to be cursed forever.
Neither do you, Kelsey.
Great warriors are people, too.
They can have feelings.
You don't have to suffer alone
to be a super-cool warrior.
You have to fight even when
the odds seem impossible
because you know
your friends need you.
And right now, Ineed you,
because I'm it,
and I don't wanna tag any kid
who loves being
at the creek, either.
Well, I guess a real warrior
would never run away
when a defenseless little boy
needs help.
I'm the little boy.
So, I guess we just need to tag
a kid who hates the creek.
Oh! I know
who hates the creek!
Is there really
a college-prep course
that meets out here?
Yes. And now I would like
to introduce you
to the head
of the program.
[ Dog panting ]
Wait a minute!
You said this course
would prepare me for the SATs,
but this is a study guide
for the PSATs.
And that's a dog!
The lipstick
is off the pig!
I repeat --
the pig is lipstick-less!
[ Branch snaps ]Oof!
[ Weakly ]
Touch my hand!
I will nevertouch you.
Aah! Touch his hand,
or I'll cut your head off!
Aah!
[ Screams ]
[ Panting ]
[ Panting, grunting ]
What do you mean
you don't take bitcoin?!
All right, David,
empty your satchel of
bar mitzvah gifts.
[ Screaming ]
♪♪
Hoo-ah!
[ Grunts ]
Quickly -- now!
♪♪
Taaaaaaag!
♪♪
[ Ping! ]
You're it!
No tag-backs!
That's what
all this was for?
You're so dumb!
This is so dumb!
This is why
I should be studying --
'cause I don't know any more
words to describe how
dumbyou are!
[ Sighing ]
You were right.
My destiny
isn't to be alone.
It's to hit people in the head
with stuff.
Oh, man!
We did it!
Hey, everyone!
Tag has left the creek
forever!
[ Cheering ]
♪♪
When it's time to go to bed
Know you don't
have to feel alone ♪
'Cause I'll see you tomorrow
At the creek
Just like I drew it.
when the danger overwhelms ♪
And the mysteries
are piled high? ♪
Who's gonna be around,
never gonna let you down ♪
When you're on a wild ride?
Your friends are
always by your side ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek
♪♪
[ Grunting ]
[ Gasps ]Sorry.
Will you go to
the dumb creek already?
I'm trying to study for a test
I have to take in two years!
[ Groans ]
[ Knock on door ]Hey, Kelsey!
You ready
to go to the creek?
Yeah. I just need
to finish something.
[ Dramatically ]
Enter my keep.
[ Normal voice ] My dad's
not home, so you can bring
your creek stuff inside.
But take off
your shoes!
♪♪
"and then he stabbed him
in the brain."
That seems like
a good place to stop.
♪♪
Man, I can't believe
your dad
let you keep your cape on
for your family portrait.
Yep. I said,
"A warrior would never
pose for a portrait
without their armor."
What could he do?
He wanted a family portrait,
and without me,
it's just a picture
of a guy with a mustache.
You're so lucky you don't have
any annoying brothers.
Yep, every day until dinner,
it's just me and Mortimer,
a young paladin
and her parakeet,
nobody to bother us
or talk to us or
make us
after-school snacks.
That sounds sad!
To be a great warrior
means to make
really sad
and painful sacrifices.
[ Thinking ] Said Kelsey,
looking off into the distance,
for pain was a warrior's
best friend,
and vengeance was also someone she occasionally hung out with.
I'm ready to go!
♪♪
Oh, man,
I'm so excited!
But that might be the four
liters of soda I drank.
[ Whistle blows ]Sailor Boy: Ahoy there!
It is time for the great
soda-bottle race to begin!
On your marks
get set
[ Whispering ]
Bird speed, Mortimer.
Drrrrrrop!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Go! Run!
[ Grunts ]
She's -- she's --
[ Gasps ]
No! No!
[ Gasps ]
-Tag. You're it.
-[ Growls ]
Oh, no! He's it!
[ All screaming ]
Mortimer!
I'm coming,
my winged ward![ Splash ]
Wait! We'll help!
Don't be a hero.
That's what I'mdoing!
Tag!
[ Wearily ]
You're it.
[ Screams ]
No tag-backs![ Panting ]
[ Panting ]
♪♪
Sailor Boy: [ Whispering ]
Tag. You're it.
Craig:
[ Echoing ] Kelsey
KelseyKelsey
JP:
Hey, wake up, girl!
[ Gasps, panting ]
Are you okay?
How's your pulse?
Yearning for battle.
Okay. How many JPs
do you see?
O-One.Not for long.
I'm makin' a robot clone
of myself
called
Johnbot Paulthousand.
See?
Everything's fine.
No, everything's notfine,
because I'm it!
Aah! Please don't tag me
with your demon hands!
Sorry.
Look, lots of kids
get tagged every year.
You just gotta tag someone else,
and then it'll be over.
Right.
Hello?
Hmm.
I'm not gonna tag
youguys!
I know.
I know where we can find
lots of kids to tag --
the Trading Tree!
Yeah! Let's go
to the Tradin' Tree!
To, uh, find
a kid to tag.
Chips, please!
Hmm.
[ Electricity crackles ]Mnh!
All right.
I'll trade you.
Take your pick.
Ooh! Spicy Beefers?
♪♪
[ Whispering ]
Just tag someone -- anyone.
[ Whispering ] I just want
to pick the right person.
Well, you better
do it soon,
because if one kid
recognizes you,
everybody's gonna run.
Hey, guys!
Check out these --
Oh, I'm --
I'm sorry.
My candy!
We'll help you
pick it up.
Sorry. I was just real excited
about these chips.
[ Whispering ]
Tag him.
-Sorry again, man.
-It's okay.
What a nice kid.
Why didn't you
tag him?
You were gonna
tag him?!
No.
A real warrior
would never do that
to a defenseless
little boy.
I want a realbattle.
So, who would be
a worthy opponent?
[ Whistle blows ]
[ Lisping ]
Clear the trail!
[ Children shouting ]Dry leaves --
number-two cause
of forest fires.
I just
saved your lives.
A Junior
Forest Scout.
Ugh!
They act like
they're soimportant
just because they have
a bunch of badges.
Well, I have one, too.
Kelsey, if you're
looking for a foe,
it's that kid.
His arrogance
will be his undoing.
You know,
I'm out here every day
keeping the creek safe
for everyone.
I think
it's only fair I get
a free bag of chips
every once in a while.
You want chips,
you gotta trade for 'em.
Kelsey's reckoning
was upon her.
Just a single touch,
and he would be transformed
into an outcast,
forced to wander
the creek alone
and to have to play
by himself every day
and make his own snacks
after school.
[ Groans ]
Why did she stop?
Just tag him, Kelsey!
[ Gasps ]
She's it!
[ Children screaming ]
Kelsey!
What happened?
I may be a cold-hearted
killing machine,
but to subject
a kid to this --
solitude,
loneliness --
wouldn't wish this upon
my smelliest enemy.
But you have to tag someone.
That's the game.
Well, then
I want to end the game!
Whoa.
Can you do that?
Can -- Can she do that?I don't know.
But I know someone else
who does!
[ Bird chirping ]
[ Taps ]
Great ancient wisdom
is what we seek,
so we call to you,
the Elders of the Creek.
What have you
to offer?
Great treasures.
Hmm.
You may crawl forth.
Welcome, travelers.
You are in the presence
of the Elders Three.
No one has dwelled in the creek
longer than we.
So, tell us the problem,
and our wisdom, you will attain,
but make haste,
for we are in the middle
of a very important
campaign.
Your elderships,
we come seeking knowledge
of the great game Tag.
[ All gasp ]
Ah, that wretched game
has been going on in the creek
for longer than even
we'vebeen here.
No one even knows
who started it.
Their names have been lost
to the sands of time.
I thought
Kate Chapman started it.
No, Kate Chapman
got tagged by Joe Landford.
I thought Joe Landford
tagged Ted Goldberg.
No one remembers, okay?
The sands of time!
Man, whatever happened
to Kate Chapman?
It doesn't matter
who usedto be it! I'mit now!
Elder Rock
has been compromised!
David, no!
I'm not going to tag you.
I'm not gonna tag anyone.
I want to end the game.
Well, I'm sorry,
but there isno end.
There's only one rule in Tag --
you get tagged, you're it.
That's the game.
It's stupid.
So, if I don't tag someone,
I'll be it forever.
I'm afraid so.[ Cellphone clicking ]
What the -- Guys!
Kate Chapman
lives in Germany now.
Don't worry. There's gotta be
something we can do.
[ Dog barking ]Kelsey! Okay, okay.
If you don't wanna tag
a kid,
you could always tag a dog
dressed up like a kid!
[ Panting ]
JP, I appreciate you
offering up your dog for this.
Oh, it's not mydog.
But I have to leave
the creek -- for good.
What? Why?
[ Sad music plays ]You heard the Elders.
This game is
a never-ending plague,
and the only way to stop
anyone else from being it
is for the it
to leave the creek.
But why does it
have to be you?
Because I'm a warrior.
I've been looking for a quest
for my entire life.
I thought it would be
something cool,
like beheading
a 20-foot goat-man.
Maybe it's to end Tag.
Maybe my destiny
is to be alone.
No! Being alone
isn'tyour destiny.
Yeah, I bet
it's the goat-man one.
I already know what it's like
to be on my own.
It's what's best
for everyone.
But what about
what's best for you?
Craig.
You'reit.
[ Music slows, distorts ]
Whoooooooooa!
My clothes.
Who are you?
Hey, Chunky!
Hey, Barnold.
I thought
of a new game.
It's called Tag.
Oh, boy!
How do you play Tag?
I'll show you.
Chunky, no!
Who's Chunky?
Craig! I was going to take Tag
out of the creek!
Tag me back!
Yes, tag-backs!
Yes, tag-backs!
Come down here
and tag me!
You don't deserve
to be cursed forever.
Neither do you, Kelsey.
Great warriors are people, too.
They can have feelings.
You don't have to suffer alone
to be a super-cool warrior.
You have to fight even when
the odds seem impossible
because you know
your friends need you.
And right now, Ineed you,
because I'm it,
and I don't wanna tag any kid
who loves being
at the creek, either.
Well, I guess a real warrior
would never run away
when a defenseless little boy
needs help.
I'm the little boy.
So, I guess we just need to tag
a kid who hates the creek.
Oh! I know
who hates the creek!
Is there really
a college-prep course
that meets out here?
Yes. And now I would like
to introduce you
to the head
of the program.
[ Dog panting ]
Wait a minute!
You said this course
would prepare me for the SATs,
but this is a study guide
for the PSATs.
And that's a dog!
The lipstick
is off the pig!
I repeat --
the pig is lipstick-less!
[ Branch snaps ]Oof!
[ Weakly ]
Touch my hand!
I will nevertouch you.
Aah! Touch his hand,
or I'll cut your head off!
Aah!
[ Screams ]
[ Panting ]
[ Panting, grunting ]
What do you mean
you don't take bitcoin?!
All right, David,
empty your satchel of
bar mitzvah gifts.
[ Screaming ]
♪♪
Hoo-ah!
[ Grunts ]
Quickly -- now!
♪♪
Taaaaaaag!
♪♪
[ Ping! ]
You're it!
No tag-backs!
That's what
all this was for?
You're so dumb!
This is so dumb!
This is why
I should be studying --
'cause I don't know any more
words to describe how
dumbyou are!
[ Sighing ]
You were right.
My destiny
isn't to be alone.
It's to hit people in the head
with stuff.
Oh, man!
We did it!
Hey, everyone!
Tag has left the creek
forever!
[ Cheering ]
♪♪
When it's time to go to bed
Know you don't
have to feel alone ♪
'Cause I'll see you tomorrow
At the creek
Just like I drew it.