Crash s01e02 Episode Script

Announcer: Previously on ''Crash'' l love you-- Ow! Expressing my love for you is against the rules? You're gonna leave your wife? Looks like he shot whoever shot him.
- What the fuck happened? - Jae got shot.
- You're a doctor-- help him! - l'm an E.
M.
T.
Get him to a fucking hospital-- and don't ever call me again.
When someone harms one of our members, payback must be swift and certain.
Police! Let's go, up! ( muffled gunshots whistle ) - ( groans ) - ( crashing, siren wails ) l'm sorry your car got damaged in the line of police duty.
lf it was police duty, the city would pay me off and you would have nothing to worry about.
Be careful how close you get.
He is my father.
l'm taking care of him.
And l am not parking him with strangers.
You think a major bathroom remodel is going to make him love you? Ben Cendars.
l know who you are.
Anthony Adams.
So have you driven anybody before? Not professionally, but l'm sure l can handle it.
l didn't mean to insult you, Ben.
l didn't mean it.
- l'm gonna cut you.
- Jeez-- Jesus! - ( tires squeal ) - l'm gonna jihad your ass.
- You're crazy.
- Ben: l'll show you crazy.
- What are you doing, man? - Ben: Now he's got a story.
''Ben Cendars pulled a knife on me.
'' He's important now.
Well, come on.
Are you driving? ( R&B song playing ) ( rap song playing ) Morning.
lt's beautiful out, man.
Want to take a drive up to the coast maybe? Anthony, what happens when a chicken nurtures an egg? lt hatches.
Correct.
Because an ordinary chick is bound to the instincts of the mother hen.
What happens when man imposes his hunger on an egg? When hunger and the imagination collide it can be a thing of beauty-- scrambled eggs, over easy, poached, huevos rancheros.
Call it what you will, but it's still an egg and it will never be a T-bone steak.
Just like at the end of endless marketing meetings we still have Air Supply.
Sure, you can say they're like the Beatles, but when you start with an egg you can clothe it any way you want, season it any way you want-- at the end of it you still have a fucking egg! Talking about me? No, l'm talking about my alleged friend here, the fucking doctor.
l'm sorry, Ben, l don't know-- you would strain the eggs out of a stracciatella, you eyeless fuck! There's more eggshell on there than there is egg! Now, l'm tired of this passive-aggressive shit! Aggressive-aggressive-- that l understand.
That l can respect.
Eggshell me, you motherfucker! ( phone ringing ) Axel.
No, it's me.
Did you hear anything? No, he's still missing.
And quite frankly, l don't give a shit.
You know what? l hope they fire the prick.
This guy thinks he's a supercop, can make his own rules.
Fuck you.
- Can my wife watch? - Ha ha.
Hey, listen, kiddo, seriously, he's probably out there tearing K-Town a new asshole.
You think so? Yeah, sure.
Two more K-Town Killas dead on his watch-- that's three murders in two days.
lf that turns out to be a hit list we could have a gang war brewing.
Yeah, Kenny, but he hasn't even returned the Captain's calls.
Neither would l.
Who the fuck wants to go to the principal's office? Something's not right.
You know what? This ain't the first time he's fallen off the radar.
Yeah, well, it's the first time he's off mine.
Bebe, he's all right.
Axel's a smart cop.
He can take care of himself.
l'll talk to you later.
( doorbell rings ) Who is that? lt's amazing you're not a detective.
That's cute.
This better not be another Jehovah nut job.
Lady, we got enough magazines.
We're Catholic.
And we only speak English, - so thank you.
- Your husband owes me money.
- Excuse me? - He crashed into me.
lt's gonna cost me $3,000 to fix my car.
l want my money.
- My husband's a cop.
- Oh, l know.
He showed me his badge.
Kenny.
Yeah.
She said you hit her car.
l'll take care of it.
How did you get our address? l got it.
Because of your report, insurance is not gonna pay me.
My husband wants the money to pay for my car.
l already told you the city will figure it out.
That's not why you're here.
Bring the twins over here where we can talk.
What the fuck are you doing? You're not listening.
My husband is a very powerful man.
You don't want to shame him.
So you're a bus driver too? No, the wife is.
Good old short bus.
You know, l wouldn't want to cause you any trouble with your wife.
Don't worry, sweetheart, you won't.
But listen, you've had your fun.
l'm afraid l'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
But it's a fair game for you to harass me in front of my husband? Yeah yeah, pretty much.
One of the perks of the job.
Oh, come on, what's the matter? Don't like having the long arms of the law wrapped around you? My husband wants his money.
Wow.
( speaking Korean ) ( door opens ) Who's in there? ( rattling door knob ) l got a bloody nose.
There's a crazy cop.
- Police? - A detective.
l'm sorry, l don't have time to explain.
He's a detective.
Abeoji, if he comes here tell him you don't know where l am or when l'll be back, but don't trust him.
He's already killed two people and he tried to kill me.
No.
This is my problem.
l'll talk to Mr.
Park.
Okay, well, l'll have to shift some of the fixtures around, but it shouldn't be a problem.
Use the same fixtures, of course.
Or not.
Anyway, here's the thing-- the bathtub, Dad getting in and out.
He's pretty unsteady.
l can add some grab bars for support.
And some no-skid pads.
Right-o.
l don't want it to look geriatric.
No no no, it will be beautiful, beautiful.
Well, how about this? How about a tiled shower right here? We could put a bench so if Dad needs to sit down Okay, l can probably set up some of those prefab shower stall units.
They have a little-- Prefab? Plastic? No no, they're mostly acrylic.
Acrylic is plastic, isn't it? Acrylic-- they're nice.
High-end plastic.
They're very-- High end.
We're getting into a substantial rebuild now.
l mean, just eyeballing it, just top of my head-- l would have to knock out this whole wall just to make space.
And we'd have to rework these pipes.
Thanks for that, Warren, but just give me a price for the shower, the doorway and the support bars.
We'll start with that, okay? Or we could come up with another solution.
Like what? - Honey.
- l'm just saying, we have plumbing here and l'm gonna need a couple feet on the other side of this wall.
That's Megan's room.
Right, but l'm just saying between the shower and the door l'm gonna have to push into both rooms.
Okay, as long as we're tearing down walls, then l'd like some recessed cabinets right along there.
And we would really prefer a tiled shower to an acrylic one.
Don't you think? Honey, forget the cabinets.
And acrylic's gonna be fine.
Right-o.
l still want to look at other options.
Okay.
Warren.
Here you go, sit.
Thanks.
( crunches ) Well, it's easy to find fault with others, but at least l have a vision.
You know? Now that you've had a taste, that is exactly the way l want my eggs cooked in the morning.
Oh, sans shell.
Well, l'm a visionary, not a cook.
( laughs ) Thanks for taking care of this, Bernie.
- You're a good man.
- No problem, man.
l think you should give your girlfriend the real boot.
That's what she gets for $300 in unpaid tickets.
So what, we're meter maids now? Come on, it's funny.
What's the matter? ls ''Aunt Flo in town''? Even if l were, which l'm not, it's none of your business.
That's where you're wrong.
Men-stration and guns don't mix.
lt's a fact.
lt's worse than booze and guns.
Okay, before we go anywhere, say it-- men-stru-ate.
Men-strate.
Don't you ever think about your wife? When she's men-strating? No, when you're with another woman.
Of course not.
lt's a total buzz kill.
Why would l? What, do you think Axel is thinking of his poor wife when he's banging you? What? lt's a joke.
Oh, come on, what is it now? You're really juvenile, you know that? Axel, where the hell are you? Are you working this Koreatown thing? lf so, call the captain and let him know what you're up to.
He thinks you're M.
l.
A.
( over loudspeaker ) Officer Arcel, please report to duty and get back in car ( drawls ) Officer Bebe Arcel, you know how hot you look in that uniform right now? ( growls ) Will you marry me? "' l love you "' "' Yes, l do, and you love me too.
"' - l hate you.
- No, you don't.
You love me.
Get in the car.
You're a real asshole, you know that? They all heard that.
Everybody heard.
( laughs ) You and your projects.
l did okay with you.
Walker Zanger? Yeah, look, spa tiles with blue tint.
lsn't that nice? And look, Sacks has some amazing stuff.
Look at this.
Well, what about something with a little more traction, like stone? Warren may have some left over from the Sonora.
You didn't hire him, did you? We were gonna talk about it.
He's my architect.
We engaged him.
We just agreed that we would look at options.
Warren just finished three of our model units, entire houses.
A bathroom remodel he can handle.
A 30-grand job-- he'll do it for half.
He can get the job done fast and cheap.
Honey-- fast and cheap is what we need right now.
l don't want fast and cheap.
Honey, this is my home.
This is not one of your housing projects.
Christine, just tell me what you want.
l want someone with taste, someone with creativity, not leftovers.
Warren's a very creative guy.
He knows what's hot.
He looks at all the catalogues.
lf that were true your housing units would have sold by now.
A cheap shot.
Fucking market crashed.
Meaning there are tons of real architects looking for work.
Meaning that this is not the time to be pissing away money.
So when you spend money it's investing, and when l do it's pissing? Yes.
l mean, no.
Any money put into the units increases their value, right? But putting money into a half-assed remodel in a house we're never gonna see the price we paid for it is fucking stupid! Where's the upside, Christine? Where's your son? Bah bah bah bah bah.
Don't give me that ''no speak English'' shit.
Are you guys ugly and stupid? What the fuck is wrong with you? Where is your son? Hey hey hey! ( yelling in Korean ) Shh! Okay, l know where your son gets his balls.
Your son killed two of his friends last night.
Tell me where he is or l'll snap your windpipe.
Fuck you.
l'm not afraid of you.
Oh, now you speak English? Yes.
Aw, fuck.
Oh.
Shh.
( laughs ) lt's a 9mm, serial number's filed off.
- ( phone rings ) - Can't be traced.
Abeoji? Hey, Eddie.
l've been looking everywhere for you.
Touch him and l'll kill you.
Haven't you killed enough people for one day? Get your ass down here or dad gets his head blown off in what will look like a robbery.
lt's your choice.
There's only one way this is gonna end.
l'm giving you a chance here, Eddie.
( engine starts ) How are you feeling, Dad? Oh, darling, not ready for the Olympics, but good enough.
The doctor said that Mr.
Loskey's incision is healing nicely.
That's great news.
So, Daddy, there's something that l wanted to talk to you about.
ln private.
Oh.
Oh, sure.
Family business.
So you know we're talking about this bathroom renovation.
Mm-hmm.
And Peter and l are really excited about it.
You're gonna be so comfortable.
lt's gonna be really beautiful.
l don't know how long you're gonna stay, but, l mean, you're welcome to stay.
And l want you to stay.
lt's just that with Peter's development not selling and the market being what it is, that things are just a little tight.
And Peter-- l mean, l-- Never mind.
You know what? lf this isn't a good time, just forget it.
lt's okay.
We'll handle it.
Never mind.
Thanks, Daddy.
Abeoji? ( Axel chuckling ) Hello.
Hey, this part is English only.
You realize l haven't slept since we had that little dance, huh? Just let my father go.
He's all right.
Aren't you, Mr.
Choi? - Fuck you.
- See? What am l gonna do about you, Eddie? l mean, l know what it says in the playbook.
But l'd hate to do that.
You were trying to help your friends.
You can't knock a guy for doing that.
You could have just arrested them.
Hey, l'm not some out-of-control wackadoo cop, if that's what you think.
- What l did was sanctioned.
- By who? Let's just say l was doing a little Korean community service.
Eddie, we can make this all go away.
How? No one knows you were there but me.
And no one knows you were there but me.
And who do you think wins that jump ball, hmm? Hey! Hey! lt's up to you whether we let sleeping dogs lie.
You just say the word, and it's like nothing happened.
You'll run around driving old people to dialysis and l'll catch bad guys.
No reason for us to stop doing what we love 'cause two pieces of shit got what they deserved.
Comprende? You know, l can make this be a robbery and no one will think twice about it.
Fuck you again.
Hey-- hey! lt will be a real tragedy for what's left of your family.
Those other two got what they deserved.
You're not like that.
Just say it.
Let me hear you say the words.
We let sleeping dogs lie.
That's a good boy.
Have a seat.
How's your shoulder? l'll live.
Well, that's up to you, now, isn't it? Gentlemen hai! ( chuckles ) ( speaking Korean ) ( knocks ) Yo, Renfield? Hey, man, l need you to move your car.
He's one of a half-dozen dicks l could describe to you in intimate detail, Anthony.
Whoa whoa, dude.
Ain't no need for all that.
That was taken Patpong-- do you know where that is? Yeah, all l need is for you to move your car.
You got us blocked in.
lt's an area that's filled with beautiful young brown lady boys.
Look, man, l just need you to move your car.
You think l'm pathetic, don't you? You think l'm some kind of hanger-on, living my life in the shadow of Ben-fucking-Cendars? Man, you need to step off.
Let me tell you something-- l had my practice in Beverly Hills when he was still cruising in sprayed-on Jordache jeans.
l found him! l financed his first business venture.
l was his man.
Man, l thought you was his doctor.
Yeah, well, l'm both.
What's all the medicine for? Well, this one gets him out of bed in the morning.
This one keeps his heart from exploding.
This one he's addicted to.
This one we're both addicted to.
This one-- this one, my friend, is for erectile dysfunction and you're gonna find out about that if you try to take my place, Anthony.
Fuck! Shit, man, l ain't trying to take nobody's place, you hear? Just move the fucking car.
Get used to bending over.
So how was everything today? Your dad did great.
Too hot to go for a walk, eh, Louie? So we rested.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Her nails are long.
A professional would keep them short.
lt's like dancing with a raccoon.
Okay, Daddy, l'll talk to her.
And smell that? Her perfume gives me a headache.
( loudly ) Smells like a bucket of chocolate.
l don't know, dad.
Maybe she uses cocoa butter.
Hey.
Dinner soon? Not unless you made it.
Dad: Using food stamps tonight? What? What did you say? Well, things must be pretty dire for a man to send his wife to beg for money.
l didn't beg.
l didn't even ask.
She wants this renovation for you.
She can ask you to help.
l'm picking up plenty of costs as it is already.
Which we're happy to do.
lsodelle: it's time for me to go.
Stay right where you are, honey.
You are part of the family.
l'll leave.
- No no no.
- Ow! lsodelle, you're hurting him.
Excuse me? Your nails-- they're digging into his arm.
Christine, don't.
Stop hurting him.
This is my house and if you're gonna work here then l expect you to work hard, to be professional and to cut your goddamn fingernails.
Christine, what the hell are you doing? l will put in for a new assignment tomorrow.
Good idea.
lsodelle! lsodelle.
That was wrong.
lt was beyond wrong.
lt's not you.
You've been so great with him.
lt's just that l've just really made a big mistake with the two of them living here together.
lt's forcing them-- it's, you know-- like l want to have a new bathroom and suddenly have one big happy family.
l'm just so sorry.
l'll see you tomorrow, all right? Thank you.
So l put the limo-- whoa.
A white man with a gun make you nervous? As long as you're not five-oh, we're straight.
( laughs ) Oh, let me show you this big-boned, broad-shouldered, rugged type that will fuck a bull elephant.
Yeah.
Have you ever cocked a gun, Anthony? Here.
Cock this.
Go on.
This shit is heavy, man.
What? A black man with a gun scares me.
- No no, like this.
- l got it.
l got it.
Look, with a barrel that long, you know, you've got to keep your balance or that thing will slam you right on your ass.
Whoa whoa, ain't nobody slamming no ass tonight, man.
l ain't with that faggy shit.
What faggy shit? l seen the picture.
Picture? With the Doc.
The Doc told you that l was a faggot? What did he say to you? Look, man, all l know is whatever happened in Patpong needs to stay in Patpong.
The Doctor's an indefinable character.
He's pansexual.
He's in a self-induced chemical Neverland, somewhere between complete experience and total fucking fantasy.
lt's as if the storm front has landed and the jetty's been swept away.
l'm concerned about him.
You saying he's lying? l'm no faggot.
lt was because of the eggs this fucking morning.
He's trying to make shit swim upstream.
lt's like refugees who are mired in it-- instead of cleansing themselves they start a surge and they drown in a cesspool of missteps, blame, deception.
( faintly ) Whew, man.
''Asclepius has thy own rod bitten thee?'' Yo, what's with the Glock, man? Stay here.
What the fuck? Dude, where are you going? ( heavy metal playing on car stereo ) ( revved engine approaching ) ( crash, tires screech ) l will shoot you, you fucking witch.
All right, all right, you win, okay? Back the fuck up.
l told you do not fuck with Gustav.
You're fucking nuts, you know that? These nuts? ( hard rock song playing ) What are you doing? My ass.
You know where my ass is, right? l'm gonna come.
l'm gonna come.
( exclaims ) Jesus, l just busted in there.
Stay.
Stay.
Stay.
( moaning ) ( moaning ) Oh, fuck.
( moans loudly ) Oh, fuck.
( moans ) This is my room.
What are you doing? You are stressing me out, Sebastian, sabotaging my new relationship.
What, are you jealous? Look, he's just a kid.
You're gonna poison him.
Aren't l enough for you anymore? l took you in when Peggy left you l have done everything l could possibly do for anyone.
No, she left because of what she saw that night in Moscow.
What night? You know.
Popov's flat.
l was walking around with a needle in my arm, if l remember correctly, and l genuinely do not remember.
But you and l both know that your love was unrequited.
Ben: You are fucking delusional, man.
That is not true! l know you remember! Come back to this fucking world, Sebastian! Go ahead, go ahead, you predator, you man-eater, you--! ( rapid gunfire ) ( Sebastian sobbing ) Ben: Shh.
Just relax.
All right? Take this.
Go on.
lt'll make you feel better, make you relax and feel better.
There you go.
Now-- now just relax.
All right? Just relax.
Shh.
Everything's gonna be okay now.
Just relax.
lt's okay.
Shh.
lt's all okay.
Shh.
lt's okay.
( phone rings ) Where the hell have you been? Bebe? Where the hell have you been? Oh, God.
( chuckles ) For a second there l thought l dialed my wife by accident.
( phone rings ) You can be a supreme asshole sometimes.
You realize you have two more dead Koreans? l know.
l'm all over it.
Yeah, well, how come no one can reach you all day? Well, last l checked l was working homicide.
Did it ever occur to anyone that sometimes l have to shut my phone off? Everyone was looking for you.
l was all over Koreatown.
What? l've been on this case before sunup.
Tell the Captain he couldn't find a Jew in Tel Aviv.
( chuckles ) l think l'll let you do that.
l'm beat.
Yeah, me too.
Can l come up or what? You're downstairs? ( chuckles ) So what do you say? lt's what you said.
What, the ''l love you'' business? Mm-hmm.
( sighs ) Still true.
l love you, Bebe.
You're just gonna have to deal with that.
Yeah.
l can deal with that.
Come up, come up.
l have so much to say.
Come up.
( trash can rattles ) ( bottle rolls ) - ( gunshot cracks ) - Axel! Oh my God! All right, we're clear.
Call 911.
Give them the address.
Tell them a cop's been shot, an officer is down! ( grunting ) lt's okay, baby.
l'm here.
l'm here.
Help is coming.
- ( groans ) - Go go go! Oh my God.
Baby, stay with me.
Stay with me.
lt's okay, l'm here.
( sobbing ) l got you.
l got you, okay? Please breathe.
Stay strong, please, Papi.
SubRip & timing adjustment by Rapunzel