Creeped Out (2017) s01e02 Episode Script

1 Narrator: The Curious they say he collects strange tales and if you ever hear his whistle, you know something creepy is about to unfold.
No one knows where he's from or where he's going to and no one's ever seen under his mask.
Maybe he's embarrassed to show what's really under there.
Some people go to extremes to avoid embarrassment, even if it means sacrificing their own family.
(people laughing and chattering) Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear Patty Happy birthday to you Man: There you go, darling.
Hope you like it.
Mom: They're beautiful, Patricia.
(laughing) (couple laughing) Dad: What are you doing? What are you doing with that? Give me that.
Give me the tea towel! Get off it! (laughing) Oh, when did this one slink in, hey? Morning, Dinky.
Dad, we agreed to stop calling me (blows raspberry) Oh! Someone needs to cut down on their fibre diet.
Yep, never gets tired that one.
Ah-ah.
Sneaky badger.
(sniffing) Ugh.
Rank.
What even is that? Surprise.
It'll do you a lot more good than those revolting lumps of sugar.
Dad: Mmm (mom laughing) Mom: Just for you.
Dad: I don't want it.
It's poison! She's poisoning me! Ah! Please, can you try to resemble normal humans at the party tomorrow? Oh.
The annual Peterson's smarm fest.
I still don't get why we force ourselves over there every year.
Well, should we not go? Should we just stay at home and cozy up on the sofa and have a horror movie marathon? Guys, no.
We need to make an effort.
Patty's like the coolest girl in my year.
Really? Surely that prize should go to you, Dinky.
Dad, seriously! Dell, you know she hates that name.
Why though? It's so cute! It's really not.
And come away from the window; they'll see you.
Relax.
It's not like they're the royal family or anything.
Patty got them new trainers I told you about.
Jessica, sweetheart, not again with the shoes.
Patty's mum gets her what she wants.
You don't see her begging.
Keep dreaming of someone else's life, kiddo, you'll end up missing out on your own.
(sighing) Wow, Dad.
Deep.
Hmm.
And guys, come away from the window.
(sighing) Girls: Hey.
Girl: Them shoes are so nice! Love your shoes.
(girls giggling) Dell, that was a clean shirt.
And? I'm saving that bit for later.
Are we going then? I take it you won't be wanting your present then? Drumroll, maestro, please.
(making drumroll sound) No, really? You actually got me a pair I know they're not the exact ones you wanted, but mum promised these were just as good and a quarter of the price.
Ka-ching.
I actually think they look cooler.
Am I right? At least try them on.
Dell: Come on, give us a show.
Shoes! Shoes! Both: Shoes! Shoes! Shoes! Shoes! Shoes! (both laughing) Come on.
(both chuckling) Badaboom.
Perfect fit.
Yay.
Come on, let's do a catwalk.
Come on.
Dell: Yeah, come on That's it, try them out.
That's it.
This way, girls, please, this way.
(making camera shutter sounds) (making camera shutter sounds) Nice shoes, Gerstenberger.
Can I get a pair? (girls laughing) The shop 'round the corner, girls, called Footloose.
They're on sale, too.
Dad! Although, you wont find anything quite as hip as these bad boys in there.
(girls laughing) Sweetheart, what's wrong? Are you actually kidding me? Them.
They're laughing at me.
Go on! Go away, you bunch of brats! Mum, stop! Come on.
(all laughing) I cannot believe you.
First you buy me these, these things, then I'm forced to parade up and down in public.
Why would you do that to me? Why? Everyone's gonna know about this.
Don't overreact, Dinky.
Sorry.
I wasn't thinking.
You never do, either of you, not when it comes to me.
Jessie Honey, we just We didn't want you to miss out, that's all.
Why are you like this? Why? I just I wish you were both normal.
Woman: You are kidding.
I can't go to work dressed in that.
Man: There was a teeny little, minor mix-up with the machine.
(all laughing) Don't forget your jacket.
(all laughing) Thank you, everyone.
Thank you, boys and girls.
Any change? Thank you.
Young boy: Thank you.
Young man: Thank you.
I don't have any cash on me.
Bit old for a puppet show.
I wasn't watching.
Just (sighing) needed to sit.
What? There's someone you need to talk to.
Over there.
Look, I said I didn't have any money and I wasn't even properly watching, so Not about that.
He just wants to say hello.
Who? Mr.
Blackteeth.
He won't bite.
He shouldn't do.
You look troubled.
Not giving you the heebie-jeebies, am I? No.
The handle's Mr.
Blackteeth.
To make your acquaintance is my utmost pleasure.
Okay.
I'm Jessie.
Okey-dokie pig in a pokey.
By my reckoning, that makes us pals.
Penny for your thoughts, Jessie.
No need to fear.
Unburden your woes.
(laughing) Nothing.
Just my stupid parents.
We all know that feeling.
My mum and dad were thick as two short planks.
Literally.
(laughing) You don't find me funny.
I have to go now.
Don't! You haven't heard my proposition.
Yeah? I'm good.
What if I said you could have the power to control your parents? Interested? It's easy-peasy lemony-squeezy.
Just gotta wrap on your forehead three times.
(clacking) Then repeat back to me "That's the way to do it.
" Come on, friend.
Unless your scared! Ooh, that's it! A yellow-belly.
(clucking like a chicken) Fine, if it'll make you shut up.
(sighing) That's the way to do it.
Happy? (chuckling) (laughing) (laughing) (cackling) (knocking) What's this then? Silent treatment? Because I stormed off yesterday? Fine.
Well, if you're planning on ignoring me, can you at least do it whilst making me a normal breakfast for once? Toast.
OJ.
(chuckling) Is this, like, one of Dad's jokes that I never get? Seriously? Okay.
Well, whilst we're in normal mode, how about Dad sticks on some decent trousers for once? (chuckling) What are you doing? What you told me to.
Okay, stop.
(chuckling) So, if I told Mum to stick as many of these as she can in her mouth? (chuckling) This is messed up.
Blackteeth: What if I said you could have the power to control your parents? They're like puppets.
Okay, recap time.
Remind me of the party rules.
Dad? I must not crack jokes, nor will I embarrass Jessie.
If anyone initiates conversation, I will simply nod and smile.
Bingo.
Mum, what do you do if there's group laughter? I must join in, but using only an acceptable level of giggles.
This is going to be great.
Okay, perfect parents.
Let's do this.
(doorbell ringing) Hi, Patty.
Loving the dress.
Gerstenberger.
Loving the shoes.
Ah.
The neighbours.
You all look delightful.
Please come in.
Make yourselves at home.
Oh.
Patricia, drinks are running low.
Head to the kitchen and top us up, dear.
Mum, my friends are on their way.
Um, I'll lend a hand.
If you want.
Perfect.
Stop smiling.
Go on.
I was thinking, seeing as we're neighbours, plus, I'm in your class, that, well, it makes sense that maybe we walked to school together.
I really don't want to do that.
Patricia, what's that? Have you been wrestling pigs in a sty? Take yourself upstairs to change.
Must have been when I sat on then bench.
Bird poop.
I still think you look great.
Mrs.
Peterson: Patty.
(classical music playing, guests chattering) (sighing) Thank my stars, Dell.
Almost didn't recognize you.
(chuckling) Thought I was destined to suffer this hell alone.
Same old Peterson guff every year.
Why do we force ourselves, eh? Hey, how 'bout one of your jokes? Liven this place up a bit.
(chuckling) Dell? Is, uh Is everything okay/ (guests chattering) Gerstenberger.
Do you want sauce with that? (teens laughing) Yes! (chattering) Why would you do that? 'Cause it's funny.
Mum was right.
You lot are just losers.
(laughing) Losers.
(laughing) (chuckling) (chattering) (laughing) (chuckling) Woman on TV: Now, we're going to welcome our first contestant down to the stage.
Mum, I was wondering if maybe tomorrow I could have one of your smoothies.
And what would you like in this smoothie? Well, I don't know.
Surprise me.
And how would you like me to surprise you? Actually, don't worry.
Dad, haven't been given one of them annoying bear hugs in awhile.
Go one then, as we're here.
No, no.
It's more like (blowing raspberry) Remember? Stupid fibre diet? Okay.
I think it should stop now.
I'm done.
Game over.
Just Just go back to how you were.
Both: And how do we go back to how we were? Wait.
Wait, hang on.
That's the way to do it.
That's the way to do it.
Please.
That's the way to do it.
He's gone.
(Blackteeth laughing) (sobbing) I'm sorry.
(sobbing) I'm so sorry.
Blackteeth.
Roll up, Roll up.
Come and see Mr.
Blackteeth's Theatre of Hilarity! (circus music playing) Roll up, roll up, the show is about to begin.
(circus music playing) Mum: Oh, Dell! Dell: What? Mum: That was a clean shirt.
Dell: And? I'm saving that bit for later.
Mum: Oh, you cheeky badger.
(laughing) (humming) (blowing raspberry) Oh! Someone needs to cut down on their fibre diet.
(laughing) Come on, Dell.
I'll fix you one of me smoothies.
Oh, wait.
(chuckling) What's in it this time? It's a surprise.
Oh! Oh! Well, I'm not sure, not after last time.
Well, it'll do you a lot more good than those revolting lumps of sugar.
Oh! Ah! (humming fanfare) (humming fanfare) Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, boys and girls.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
.
Man: Come on, then.
Woman: Did you enjoy that? Dell: Jessie.
Mum: Sweetheart.
Mum? Dad? Is that really you? Dell: Help us, Jessie.
Whoever's in charge, come out.
(Blackteeth chuckling) Right now.
(Blackteeth chuckling) Right, well, I'm coming in.
(Blackteeth chuckling) Blackteeth: Well, well, my old pal Jessie.
I want you to come out.
Now.
(rustling) Say, you lost your noodle? Who are you talking to? I'm the one in control.
So, beginning to regret your decision, huh? (chuckling) Not surprised.
Your mum and dad are a big hit.
(laughing) (rustling) Get us out of here.
How do I turn it off? You don't.
No.
There must be a way.
Anything.
Please.
I just want my parents back.
There is one way.
But I don't think you'll like it very much.
I had to come to explain.
As soon as you sat down for the show, I knew you were a candidate.
What do you mean? He tricked me too Blackteeth.
I had this dumb argument with my parents.
I played along with his little game.
Then, the next morning You know the rest.
There was only one way to free them.
I had to find replacements.
Ah-ah-ah! I prefer the term understudies.
It took me a long time.
Then, I found you.
As soon as you uttered those words, they came back to me.
This is yours now.
You need to find your own understudies.
I'm sorry.
Let's go home.
Blackteeth: What are you willing to do to get your parents back? It's all yours now, kiddo.
Good luck, Jessie.
(Blackteeth chuckling) (laughing) Woman in crowd: You've already had one.
Man in crowd: Sort your attitude out, all right? I've had enough.
And I'm getting sick of it.
Yeah.
You always want more and more and more.
Never satisfied.
Should we just go? Narrator: Ever been embarrassed by your parents? Why not knock three times and say out loud, "That's the way to do it"? (Blackteeth laughing) But only if you're willing to face the consequences.