Dag (2010) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Thank you for last night.
Thank you.
What do you think?
Ask her.
She's probably right next to you.
She first thought he was
in the middle of a jump.
How hard can it be to have
the paper delivered to your door?
- Call them.
- Call them?
How many times do I have to say this.
You are the customer.
Call them. They deliver to my front door,
and I'm on the fourth floor.
It's a waste of a phone call. Nobody gives
a shit about an old geezer like me anyway.
But I got my exercise.
Out of my way, Dag.
Bergersen
Oh, yes
How many?
Two left and two right, I'm tired.
- Shit!
- Ok?
Oh!
Oh, shit.
It went really well, actually.
If you can say that when it ends
with the door slammed in your face.
- I'm really sorry about that.
- But do you think he'll call?
- Would you want him to?
- Some kind of response might be nice.
He responded to your text
and he paid the bill?
Well, that covers his
entire emotional register.
No, there's more to him than that.
I can't quite put my finger on it,
but there's something about him
- Yes, it's called Valium.
- No
- Yes. Thanks for giving it a go, anyway.
- I'm not giving up now.
- Your brother's going down.
- Down?
Jesus, you said yourself
he needs to get laid.
- That's a really disturbing image.
- Your brother getting laid?
- Nothing?
- No, you're just a bit red.
Clear-eyes?
Why don't you ask him to stop
that nonsense with the paper?
Bergersen?
It makes him happy.
Tissue?
Why are you working here, Malin?
You're smart enough to do anything.
Don't ask.
Go help those who need it.
- First time here.
- Yes.
So now you're talking,
all of a sudden.
- I didn't really want to come here
- No, men typically don't.
As it's your first time here, -
- I can start off by telling you
a bit about yourselves.
Karin, you would like to get married,
and Thomas think's that's a bad idea.
Is that right?
You have children, perhaps? Karin, you would
like another child, and Thomas, you don't.
Karin, you're still trying
to speak lightly of this.
As in: "We all have
to get married eventually."
Whereas you, Thomas,
want to keep your options open.
There's a couple of ladies out there
you'd like to do before you go bold.
You, Karin,
feel that getting married, -
- will get you closer to your goal
of having another child.
And time's not on your side,
you're getting on a bit.
I guess that was it!
You can continue from here.
Was that it?
- He doesn't touch me anymore.
- Sure, I do.
- No, you never touch me.
- I do.
We don't have sex anymore.
- Is there something wrong with me?
- No!
Then what is it?
We've had this conversation hundreds
of times. I can't have it again!
That's great, Thomas.
Hold that thought
Malin. Could you bring me a damp cloth?
My eye is swelling up again.
Thank you.
Yes Where were we?
Have you considered that
your relationship might just be over?
What do you think about marriage?
- We're not here to talk about me.
- I don't give a shit.
If you're going to help us,
I need to know you're not biased.
Right, well. If you live alone,
your mood is how happy you are.
Living together, you're only as happy
as the least happy person there.
When it comes to marriage, it makes
no sense to give up half your freedom, -
- doubling the responsibility,
and gaining nothing.
- What should a relationship be like?
- I have no opinion on that.
Most well-functioning relationships
I know of, are not based of love.
They're based on
guilt and conscience.
Love goes in waves,
but guilt, that's a constant.
If you feel you owe your partner
because of your sins, -
- you tend to go the extra mile
in order to please them.
As such, cheating has saved
a whole load of relationships.
- Are you OK with Theo minding the store?
- Why shouldn't I be?
He might get tempted
to empty the till to impress a girl.
I know the damage
you can cause a penis, Eva
We had penises once, remember?
When we were 19 or 20?
- We were on top of the world.
- Balls.
You mean balls. Courage has nothing
to do with a penis, you should now.
Sometimes I think that once
Theo moves out, I'll get on a train, -
- not knowing the destination.
- You haven't missed out anything.
I took that train All I've got
to show for it fits in a bag.
You've got a home, a child You belong.
You've got nothing to complain about.
- Except perhaps that ringtone.
- It's not ringing, it's a reminder.
Theo added it to be shitty
and I don't know how to change it.
- What's the reminder for?
- I've got Dag a psychologist appt.
He knows, of course.
I'm just reminding him.
It's not really a psychologist,
it's an emotional coach.
Oh, dear.
- He needed a shoulder to cry on.
- Got it.
- Your sister called.
- Was it about the therapy?
She didn't say. But she will show up
here if you don't call her back.
Persistence! Remind me
to add that to her file.
You don't keep a file on your sister?
Oh my god, you do! Therapy might
not be/ a bad idea for you, Dag.
I need to get home. Please cancel
the rest of today's appointments.
- All of them?
- All of them.
- What do I tell them?
- "If they need couples therapy, -
- they should put their money towards
house advertising and a trailer."
I'll say you're ill and they need
to come back next week.
Tell Marianne
exactly the same, pleaser.
- See you.
- Bye.
Oh dear. Poor you
Come here,
and I'll make you a cup of tea.
You can take the mug home.
Would you like that?
What's so terribly sad that you
needed a shoulder to cry on?
- Mommy.
- Mummy? Oh dear
Do you have any Valium?
- How did you get in?
- I slipped inside after the old guy.
- I normally buy off you?
- I know. But right now I don't have any, -
- and I know you do.
I'm just going into your hallway,
OK?
Wait here.
No, no, no
Let me introduce, Kung Fu Panda.
- Lovely. What happened to Snoopy?
We're no longer on speaking terms.
- Nice panda.
- Yes.
- Kung Fu.
- Yes, I know. He's mine.
You were quite taken
with your last date.
- Eva? Was I?
You let her into the hallway.
That took me three years.
Why don't we talk about you?
I'll have to hear it eventually.
I don't know.
It's not much fun at the moment.
It normally isn't For you.
Talk to the panda.
He's a very good listener.
I had a job last night.
In Fredrikstad.
Which, at this time of year,
is like Bagdad with a curfew.
So I ended up in the hotel bar.
Whiskey, please.
You're just so pretty.
- Are you local?
- No.
You may recognise me.
I'm Kai from "Long Flat Balls".
And a Heineken.
- And I was thinking
- There you are, sweetheart.
I'm sitting over there.
Hi. Benedikt.
Line. Thanks I think.
- He was starting to get sticky.
- I got a bit much.
The blazers are a worldwide sect,
you have to watch yourself.
The burgundy ones are the worst.
They're the black belts of blazers.
You have to have a comb-over
to reach that grade.
He wasn't that bad.
- I'm just promoting myself.
- Yes, you're different.
In a good way, I hope?
Let's go to my room.
I can't leave Bjørnar alone.
He's had an examination today. And he gets
so scared if he wakes up and I'm not there.
You should have seen him, so excited.
They gave him a little toy.
Relax, he's asleep.
So you fucked her
in front of a mongo.
Mentally challenged.
Oh shit.
Have you got a blanket?
- I'd do this much better than you.
- Be my guest.
You know what I mean. Your brother.
You've been pestering him all day.
- That's not how men do what you want.
- Don't say he doesn't need therapy.
He's happy!
He's got his own system.
So did Rain Man.
Actually, you should thank me.
His system gives you
about a zero chance.
No matter how competitive
your instincts might get.
I'll give you a fair offer,
'cause you know he'll never go.
If I can get him into therapy,
I don't have to pay if I don't bed him.
But how are you going to get him
on another date?
I'm getting him into therapy.
His session is in 50 minutes
from now. Good luck.
Now get over here.
Hi.
Just hang on a minute.
- Do you have another pillow?
- Why?
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Can I come in?
- I've just made coffee.
- Yes. Perfect.
- You don't understand.
I need to drink it when it's hot.
Yes, so I have to go inside
and drink it.
- And you don't offer our guests?
- He'll never let you in.
Benedikt doesn't like coffee much.
He's into beer, whiskey and trumpets.
And he's an Israeli border guard
in a world of Palestinians.
- It's cosy under the blanket.
- Get lost.
Yes
Just wait her,
and I'll get a couple of cups.
- There you are.
- Thank you.
- It was nice the other day.
- Yes.
Listen, I know
you can't stand small talk.
I know you've got a therapy session
that you're planning to blow off.
Even if you sister
has already paid $300 in advance.
That doesn't mean that there isn't a
small sliver of chivalry left in you.
That's an admirable thought.
But I know what the therapist will
say and I didn't ask for her help.
She thinks I've got a problem
as she and I are exactly alike.
She's actually quite right,
but not when it comes to this thing.
This relationship thing?
"Relationship" is such a grotesque
word. Just like "date night".
Would you go for me, so that your
sister will think I'm good for you?
This is deliciously manipulative.
So you'll go?
I've never been here, but mentally
I've been here since I was eleven.
I've turned every stone
in my head for 28 years, -
- to come up with a better alternative.
And what's with the couch?
I always though you focus
better in a chair.
Therapy In my mind,
smooth waters make for good sailing.
If you can swim in it and row across,
why stir up mud from the bottom?
I'm doing fine.
Why the hell did I agree to this?
I honestly don't know
what I'm doing here.
What do you think?
Is that all you've got?
My sister asked me to go, and
I didn't want to disappoint her.
- Why not?
- Because she's my sister.
- Does the dog have to be that close?
- Is it bothering you?
- It's just a bit close.
- Does closeness frighten you?
Listen, Sherlock,
I know what you're doing.
My sister has probably told you I keep
people at a distance, especially woman.
But what she calls my "loneliness", is not angst
or trauma, and is certainly not gender-based.
It's simply me not wanting to inflict
trauma on myself or others.
If you're autonomous,
reaching a consensus is easy.
You don't have to be considerate,
and no one can bring you down.
- So closeness frightens you?
- No.
- It scares you?
- Listen, it's a choice!
Like moving in with someone, or getting
married. Or getting a fucking dog!
The most cowardly option of all. You can dominate
and rule that creature with no considerations.
- Can you tell you're getting angry?
- No!
I think you are.
Do or say the first thing
that comes to mind.
- No,
- But you have a problem.
You're not in touch
with your own emotions.
Say or do the first thing that
comes into your mind right now.
- No!
- Do it.
Do it!
Like that?
Sorry. I'm sure he will be all right.
If you don't attach emotionally,
you won't experience this grief.
Here's my card. Call me if you
need anything. I'm a specialist.