Dates (2013) s01e02 Episode Script

1 'You are reminded to have your belongings with you' 'at all times.
Please do not leave anything unattended whatsoever.
'If you do see anything unattended, 'please report it to a member of staff.
Thank you.
' Sorry.
Hi.
Oh, gosh.
I'm really sorry.
Oh.
Don't worry about it.
I'm, er, still getting used to the tubes.
I thought I was going in the right direction but I was actually going in the wrong direction, several times.
Which sounds stupid cos there are only two directions.
It's cool.
You've been here 20 minutes.
Yeah, I kept myself amused.
Drink? Yes, please.
You said you liked white on your Yeah, great.
We keep this in the fridge at work.
You drink wine at work? Course.
Everyone should.
Cheers.
I'm never late normally.
Really, it's no big deal.
It's unforgivable.
Do they still cane you or something in your line of things? Cane you? For lateness.
Nope, they don't cane teachers as far as I'm aware.
That's a shame.
I was getting a nice mental image just then.
Oh.
You're joking.
That's funny.
You'll have to forgive my ignorance.
I wasn't a big fan of school.
Who is? Yeah.
Seemed to rub my teachers up the wrong way.
No concentration, that's my problem.
Can't be too much of a problem for you, working in the city.
Yeah.
Anyway, things are different now.
It's not just learning stuff off by heart any more.
Thank Christ for that.
Children are individuals.
You can't expect one child to learn in the same way as another.
They're all different.
So you have to find ways to hold their interest.
And how do you do that then? Um, by mixing it up.
You know, sometimes debating new ideas, sometimes using the interactive whiteboards.
Sometimes clapping.
Clapping? It's really great for concentration.
What, just clapping? Uh-huh.
Sure.
Let's get the rhythm on our knees Thank you, please Let's get the rhythm on our knees Let's get the rhythm on our hand It's a band Let's get the rhythm on our hand Let's get the rhythm of the table Yeah.
I get it.
Nice.
Sorry.
I get a bit carried away when I talk about work.
It's ridiculous.
Well, you're passionate.
I get that.
Are you? About what you do? Yeah Yeah, I am.
Must be stressful.
Well, it is, but you get used to it.
I get off on it, actually, let's be honest.
I don't really know much about finance.
Only that you're the bad guys.
Yeah, I did think about lying on my profile, but too late now.
So hi, I'm Nick, I'm a buy side trader.
Still time to run, find yourself a nice Guardian reader.
Are you joking? My mum would kill me.
I don't know why I just said that.
Sorry, that sounds I You know how it is, new city, strange man, thought I'd better tell someone where I was going.
Don't know why I told her, she's in Rotherham.
Not much she can do if you are a You know, if you were a Murderer.
I know you're not a murderer.
Oh, God.
I always do this.
What? Put my foot in it.
My fiance Ex-fiance, said I had a mouth like a bulldozer.
I could flatten any conversation.
He sounds like a charmer.
He wasn't.
You know, your picture doesn't do you justice.
My picture? You're different in the flesh.
Prettier.
Mm.
Thank you.
You too.
Oh, yeah, I'm a real English rose! Don't tease me, I've just spent an hour on the tube.
Did you show your mum then? What? My picture.
Course not.
God Listen, I think we should get the platter, it's the only decent thing here.
I mean, you can have a look through if you want No, that's OK, I trust you.
Thanks.
It's a refreshing change.
Sorry? Women trusting me.
Oh Yeah.
My wife didn't.
Put it that way.
So.
Would mum in Rotherham approve? I really don't tell her everything.
I moved here to get away, for God's sake.
And now you want to go back? No, no.
I love London.
It's so anonymous.
This isn't quite what you were expecting from tonight is it? You really are a gorgeous creature.
You know? Um So, how are we doing, guys? I might just nip and use the ladies'.
Excuse me.
Yeah.
It's going well.
Oh.
I wasn't spying on you, I promise.
No.
Cos that'd be a bit weird, if you were spying on me.
Be downright pervy.
I got us a table in the restaurant.
Great.
I don't have to have you home early on a school night? Later the better.
Otherwise I'll just be sitting in Shepherd's Bush making small talk with a bunch of Australians I barely know so We can't have that.
See you in a sec.
Mm.
I didn't do any fancy graduate programmes.
I started on the ground floor, worked my way up.
Met some good guys who knew what they were doing with money, stuck with them till they gave me a shot.
I had some luck.
You know, you've got to be smart or be lucky.
It sounds really exciting.
It's high pressure.
I've got an equity stake, so can't really complain about pressure.
I get pretty much what I want, own a couple of places.
Least I did.
What, something happened? Yeah.
Never get divorced, Jenny.
I can't even get married so So where is she now, your ex? India.
Some ashram.
About as far away as she could get from me.
I fucked it up.
Yep.
I completely and utterly fucked up my marriage.
I'm sure that isn't true.
She was a nightmare, don't get me wrong, but the deal-breaker, that was all me.
It goes both ways.
There's two people in a relationship.
I screwed around.
Oh.
Few times.
Oh.
Not so lovely now, am I? Why are guys so stupid, Jenny? We get everything we want and we throw it away.
For what? Fucking I don't know.
Maybe I don't know what I want.
Do you want to leave now? No.
I wouldn't blame you.
It's not exactly heroic, is it? It's the truth.
It never is.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Is this mine? You're a good listener.
What is this thing? You've been playing with it all night.
Sorry.
I don't mind.
It used to drive my fiance Ex-fiance mad.
I've got to stop saying that.
What's it for? Nothing, really.
It's just to remind me not to do something.
Not to do what? It's a secret.
Well, I'm very good at keeping secrets.
Maybe next time.
If there is one.
OK.
Next time.
All finished? Yes, thank you.
How was the food? Great.
Can I get you anything else? Well, this is empty.
What do you say? No problem.
Whatever you want.
Oh.
I think he liked you.
He was giving you a little I'm in the wrong game.
Camp little fucker.
Poor you.
Must be difficult being so attractive.
Eh? Nothing, just Why do women do that? I'm was just teasing you.
Yeah, that's what my ex used to say.
She was an expert at it, fucking expert.
Disguised as humour, but what you actually mean is, "You just really fucking annoy me".
Well, why don't you just come out and say that? I really was just joking.
I know that.
I know that.
Oh, sorry.
Talking about the past too much.
Forget it.
Let's talk about something more interesting.
I want to hear more about being a teacher.
I'm sorry.
What do you want to know? I suppose you think you've got it all sussed, you know? The dress, the wedding, the rest of your life.
And then one day, it all just disappears.
Suddenly you're in Shepherd's Bush, where nobody talks to you, nobody knows you, and you're teaching kids who barely talk about anything anyway, and no-one really cares.
You know, if you were to fall down the stairs of your flat and break your neck, they probably wouldn't notice.
They probably wouldn't even find you for three years.
Like that woman, do you remember? The one who died and no-one Sorry.
Oh, God, I don't know why I'm talking about this.
It's not exactly interesting.
Are you OK? Me? Great.
You? You just seemed far away.
No, no.
Not at all.
I know I can go on.
No.
It's good to hear about someone else's problems for a change.
You drink fast.
I know how to have a good time.
Don't you? Oh, no.
I'm OK.
Don't make me force you! No, really.
If I have any more, who knows what I'll get up to? Good for you.
I've had a good time tonight, Jenny.
Me too.
No, I mean it.
I've had a really good time.
To be honest, I wasn't expecting it.
Why? Oh, you know how it is.
All that box-ticking.
But you've been really all right.
Well, even though I'm not really your type? I'll bet your ex wasn't a schoolteacher.
You are a bit of a departure, yeah.
But I like it.
You've got great eyes, you know.
You you too.
Just because I pay you a compliment, doesn't mean you have to pay me a compliment.
Ah, I know that.
Were you starved of compliments with the fiance? No.
In fact, you can have too many compliments.
I just can't stand all that false modesty crap, you know.
You tell a woman she's beautiful, she says she's fat.
You say you've got nice legs, she says they're tree trunks.
Just fucking boring.
We should probably just learn to say thank you.
Maybe we could practise! Christ! Not now! Who is it? At this time? Fucking work.
Really? Yeah, sorry.
Do you mind? Hey.
What's going on? No, it's fine.
I'm just, er chatting.
Yeah! Hang on.
Sorry.
If I'm not there, there's nothing I can do.
Oh! Ah! Oh! Yeah Yeah Jesus! Jesus! Ah Yeah Yeah Yeah Oh Idiot! I'm so sorry.
One of the guys from the office got panicked about a conference call tomorrow with our investor in Hong Kong Yack, yack, yack.
Felt like throwing the phone down the toilet! Please don't be too pissed off with me.
Course not.
It's what you do.
One of the downsides.
Must have driven your wife crazy.
It did.
I think it's great you're so dedicated.
You really put everything in, don't you? I'll bet all your little seven-year-olds have big crushes on you.
I don't know about that.
This place is like a morgue.
You were gone quite a while.
What the hell's wrong with this town? Don't people know how to party any more? I have to go home.
Really? Yeah, I have some papers to mark.
We should probably get the bill from Mr Camp-as-fuck.
Huh? Oh, yeah.
He'll be over in a sec.
Yeah, I really need to get this train.
Sorry.
Am I being bossy? Now I know what you're like in class.
So What's going to happen with us then? I haven't decided yet.
Oh, don't even think about it.
I've got it.
- I've always got it.
- Thank you.
That's very kind.
Pleasure.
Sorry.
What is it? My wallet - I had it just a second ago.
Oh, don't worry about it.
I'll get this.
No.
This doesn't make sense.
Hold on, let me check the toilets.
Bullshit.
I had it five minutes ago.
It's OK, really.
I'll get this.
Hey! What the fuck are you playing at? I'm sorry? - Give it to me.
Now! - I've no idea what you're talking about.
I'm talking about my wallet! You stupid fucking queer.
- I had it in the toilet and now it's gone.
I want it back.
- I don't have your wallet.
- Don't give me that shit.
Do you think I'm a moron? - Nick, come on.
- What? You thought I wasn't going to notice that? - What the fuck? I don't have your wallet, you prick! Don't! Nick! Nick, don't! It's OK.
I'll pay.
I'll pay.
Please, just don't! Please.
It was a Paul Smith.
Had everything in it.
Credit cards, business stuff, my fucking Oyster.
Right.
Put 90 quid on the thing yesterday.
Shit, my Nectar card! It was him.
He did me.
Little fucking bender.
Well, this is me.
Do you need any money to get home or something? Nah, it's fine.
I'll walk.
You got dinner.
I had a good night, yeah? It was good.
I'll call, yeah? OK.
Yeah, OK.
I remember every man.
Every single one.
I just didn't really sign up for this.