Dawn of the Croods (2015) s01e02 Episode Script

1 Life in the Croodaceous Era was all about survival of the fittest.
The strongest cavemen got better homes better toys even better friends.
But not everyone is born fit.
Oh! So, to teach us kids how to survive, Aahh! Valley invented something we called "school".
Though I'm not sure who taught our teacher how to teach.
Chop chop, students.
Turn in your assignment.
Our assignment's too fast! Funny, I remember asking for a chickuna, not excuses.
Huh? Ooh.
Ooh! Did I get it? Am I a hunter now? - I got it.
- I got it! One chickuna comin' right up, Teacher Squawk! - Yes! I got - I got it too! - Huh? - It's official.
You are the worst group of students I ever taught.
We're the only group of students you've ever taught.
And the worst.
- I became a teacher for one reason.
- To inspire us? Oh, no.
To eat whatever you kids catch.
Were you paying any attention to my lesson? You surround the chickuna, you catch the chickuna, I eat the chickuna.
But since you let my dinner escape, I can scratch that.
Sorry, Teacher Squawk.
We tried, but somebody is a little distracting.
First day of school and I already learned something: spider ants do not like it when you fall on them.
Oh, right.
The new girl.
She's the first of her family to ever leave the cave.
She thought the wind was a cloud burp.
Everyone knows the wind is the sun's farts.
She's probably gonna get one of us killed.
Yeah, she will get one of us killed! Hi, I'm Lerk.
With an "erk.
" Who are we talkin' about? Now I have to teach you.
The first rule of hunting is Hey, you seem awesome.
Wanna pick bugs out of each other's hair and share all our secrets? My secret is I just made a new best friend.
You! Thanks, but my secret is I'm trying to pay attention.
- Eep! - Ow.
What is the first rule of hunting? - Uh, don't get eaten? - No! Teamwork.
"Don't get eaten" is, surprisingly, not a rule.
That's it! Because Eep didn't pay attention and I'm hungry, I'm giving you all a test! I don't know what that is, but it sounds horrible.
Oh! It is.
You thought the chickuna was tricky, tomorrow you will face a liyote! Ha ha! You must catch the liyote, with a partner, as a team.
See? Teamwork! I just hope I don't get paired with an outcast! - No offense, outcasts! - No, y-you deserve better.
Muscles, you're with Loud Mouth.
Moody, you go with Hair-Do.
Redhead - Do you know any of our names? - I find it best not to get attached.
You're with New Girl Who Doesn't Know Anything.
That's me! Whoo-hoo! Whoo! You know some things, right? Oh, and class, the team that performs the worst on the test will be in Deep Trouble for the week.
Can I come out now? All I did was talk in class! Ooh, Deep Trouble! Sounds like a fun place for two girls to become best friends! 1x02 - "School of Hard Rocks" We need a door I can slam.
Hey, Eep.
What's wrong? Teacher get eaten and they had to cancel school? I wish.
We have a test tomorrow, and I'm paired with the new girl.
So we're gonna fail, which means other kids will stop talking to me, so when I grow up, no one will pick me for their pack and instead of becoming a great hunter, I'll have to settle for being the Valley's water girl.
Can Amber get water? Eep, don't say that.
Water girl is a good job.
I'd be proud to say, "My daughter spits in people's hands.
" Ehh, I mean it's only one test.
I told you school was terrible.
Like any good parent, I tried to stop you from going, but you were all, "Dad, I wanna go to school.
" I mean, what does your teacher know about hunting if he doesn't even hunt?! Tons! Teacher Squawk is teaching me how to throw.
I think I'm gonna hurl.
See? Look what school has done to your brother.
You should both skip school and come to work with me.
I'll show you real hunting.
- Awesome! - Ugh.
Dad, dropping out of school is your answer to everything.
Might as well just go live in Deep Trouble.
Sandy, I leave you my dried bug collection.
Oh, stop moping, sweetie.
Part of growing up is learning to maul with others.
- Maybe What's the new girl's name? - Lerk.
From that weirdo cave family? I hear they eat their own hair! Uh, what Gran meant to say is, maybe Lerk will surprise you.
I guess.
I mean, everybody's good at something.
Right? Hands and feet Hands and feet Please don't eat my hands and feet Okay.
Catchy, but not gonna help us catch anything.
What else did you learn in your old cave school? - Hmm.
Do other songs count? - No.
That's it, then.
Cave-schooling was mostly about the songs.
Well, at least you came to the right place to learn about hunting! Actually, I left my cave school to make friends.
Huh? How am I doin', Eep? Um, can I get back to you on that? I have a plan for how to help you study for our test.
Does this plan involve more dance? No.
Here we are, son.
This is where boys become men.
Where your father became one of the best hunters Aahh! Valley has ever seen.
And where you will become the - second-best hunter it's ever seen.
- Wow! I've always hoped to one day be the second-best at something.
Well, if you drop out of school, you can achieve anything you want.
Now let's get into the action.
Wow! The action.
Uh, it's early and things haven't gotten going yet.
Uh Ooh! Look over there.
See that? Those Bonkers are going for a sneak attack.
Have a good sneak attack, guys! Uh, enough action.
You need a break.
- Ta-da! - A tiny crawly animal! I have always wanted one of these.
Thanks, buddy! No this is my sister Sandy.
She'll be your practice predator.
She's got all the bark of a liyote, but none of the bite.
Well, less of a bite.
Go on.
Try to catch her.
Chase her down, Lerk! Hey! I think I'm getting it! Come on, Lerk! Use your upper body strength! Or lower body strength! Or any strength at all? What was that? Animal noises are my strength.
It's an annoying strength, Lerk! No.
No.
Don't worry.
We can still pass this test.
I just need to turn you into a second me.
It'll take some time, but Time's up! Your test is about to begin.
Make peace with your loved ones.
Okay, worry now.
Why? Nothing can stop Team Awesome Girls! That's what I've been callin' us, 'cause we're awes Wow! These spider ants can't get enough of me.
Don't be jealous, Eep.
He-hey, here we go! Now, see, son, real hunting is only half actually hunting.
Is the other half picking your favorite cloud? That's mine.
No, that one! No, the other half is hanging with your buddies.
Here, just follow my lead.
Hey, guys, this is my son, Thunk.
I'm teaching him how to hang.
Hiya, guys.
Whoa! Uh, he's still learning.
So, uh, Amber, how's the hunt going today? Eh.
So-so.
Hardly seen any prey.
Well, you can hardly see, period! Oh.
Because you only have one eye! Yeah, I caught this puny little chickatoo and I was all like, "What is this? A snack?" Chickatoo Dinner for one! Yeah, Munk, my dad says you eat alone most nights! Ohh.
Get it? 'Cause It's because you don't you don't have a family.
How about you stop talking and try your first smash fruit? Uh-huh.
The secret to smash fruit is Mmm! Not too bad, actually.
Yeah, I know! I'm also glad I'm not Eep right now.
I mean, good luck on the test, Eep! Whoo-hoo! I am ready to become a champion.
Your underpelts are showing! - Huh?! - We can do this, team.
Just me, Lerk, and you, spider ant.
All right, students, each team must catch one liyote to pass the test.
- And fill my belly.
- Uh, excuse me.
People don't eat liyotes.
Not with that attitude, they don't.
Go! Okay, Lerk, remember what Teacher Squawk said.
Step one: surround it.
Well, well, well.
New girl can jump.
She might not fail.
Step two: catch it! I got him! I got him! Sort of.
Uh, step two and a half: hang on! Huh? Huh? It pains me to say this but your team passed the test.
And you did so well that I actually wish I knew your names.
Congratulations, uh you, and, uh, and you.
- Eep and Lerk! - Right.
- Yes! We did it! - Yep! "We" did it.
Just us.
I told you we could do it.
We were all like And the liyotes were all like And everybody else was like, "Wow, those girls must be best friends.
" And now I'm all like, "Whew!" As in "We passed the test!" Leep, Erk you have me thinking.
All this time I thought my students weren't learning anything.
I blamed them.
But I was wrong.
Wow! Thanks, Teacher Squawk.
Now I see I wasn't challenging you enough.
So, you two will lead us all on a hunt for an albatroceros! - Albatroceros! - Wait.
Us? - Yeah, us! - I'm sure you're thinking, "But Teacher, the albatroceros has an unquenchable thirst for blood!" And you're right! Uh, it felt like you were gonna say something - to make us feel better.
- Did it? Huh.
No.
But don't worry.
We have you and Lerk to lead us! Don't let us down! Yes! I'm gonna catch an albatroceros! I'm gonna need a bigger spider ant.
Hmm, at least it'll be easier with the next one.
Dad! Dad! Dad! Look how many butterhummers I fit in my mouth! Attaboy, Thunk! You know, listen, I know I said I could train you to become a great hunter like me, but Oh, this is gonna be tough.
You see, not everyone can be a hunter Whoo! That was a big one! What were you saying, Dad? Something about my being a hunter? Hey, Lerk, I was thinking Eep, Team Awesome doesn't think.
We awesome.
- I'm about to mess an albatroceros up.
- Are you sure? I mean, what did an albatroceros ever do to you? - An albatroceros ate my grandpa.
- Oh.
Albatroceros tracks! Lerk, you know what a really awesome girl would do now? Walk away.
Charge! Good thing Lerk's so talented.
The baby albatroceros has the tastiest meat.
And the sharpest teeth.
And the most teeth.
And the cleanest teeth.
Well, except when its teeth are drenched in blood.
You see, Thunk, not everyone has to be a hunter.
There are other great jobs, like rock crusher, dirt gatherer, uh, assistant rock crusher Right, for other people.
But not me I'm like you! Oh, yeah, of course, of course.
But what if, and I'm just tossing words around here, what if you're more like, uh this flower? This flower is very great, uh, but very different, and, uh, to be honest, I don't know quite what to do with it.
Big predator on the field! We need every hunter to help chase it off! Thunk, you stay here, and try not to look like easy prey.
Ack! Dad! I'll save you! No, Thunk! Save yourself! Don't worry, Dad.
They covered this at school.
What are you doing? You can't dizzy away a predator, Thunk! And now that I feel sick, I'm ready to hurl! Whoa.
That worked.
Thunk, how did you do that? My teacher thought closing my eyes would help me focus.
"Thunk," he said, "your best chance for survival is dumb luck.
" You know, I think you should go back to school, Thunk.
But first, teach your old man that cool new throw.
Well, I've never really explained it before, but you spin this direction or wait, no.
This direction.
Ow! Lerk! Lerk! Lerk! Lerk! Lerk Oh.
Hello, Eep.
I must say, you are shaping up to be the weaker member of this team.
We have to stop her.
This is too dangerous.
- Lerk isn't actually - Quiet! I'm learning so much from her.
Lerk! You have to get down from there! You're gonna get hurt! But we can do this! We totally aced that test together! And now we're friends! Lerk! We didn't pass the test! I was just so afraid of failing that I made it look like we did.
Uh, no, because if that was true, I'd be in crazy danger right now.
I'm in crazy danger because Eep lied! Ooh! A mother albatroceros! They're twice as tasty and twice as deadly! We are in for a treat! Well, except for you, new girl.
Class, if anyone asks, the new girl was absent today.
I called you awesome, but you are very much not awesome! - You're right! I'm sorry! - Eep, those words mean a lot coming from someone on the ground! Everybody! Gather this sticky spider goop! Lerk, you have to break free! Use one of your animal noises! But you said they were weird! No! I said they were annoying.
Huh? Not a lot of people do that, really, so that's Wow.
Cool roar! Thanks.
I learned how to do that in cave school.
I was my own teacher.
Nice work, girls.
I thought you were goners.
But you survived.
Yay.
Yep! And we passed the test.
Oh, my, definitely not.
You cheated.
You endangered the whole class and didn't even catch me dinner.
I am so sending you two to Deep Trouble.
Thunk, your school hurts, but I'm glad we have it.
I guess it's okay if you don't grow up to be exactly like me.
Thanks, Dad, because I think I wanna be a teacher.
Anything but that! Lerk, I'm, um, I'm sorry that I nearly got you killed today.
- Eh, it happens.
Friends? - Best friends.
In the Croodaceous or any era, that's always the sign of a real friend someone who sticks by your side even in Deep Trouble.