Daytime Divas (2017) s01e02 Episode Script

1 Maxine: Previously on Daytime Divas Oh, Maxine, look, it was your vagina.
It's my show.
You can't fire me.
I've gone viral.
- Leave Andrew.
- There's stuff that I need to work out.
Maxine Robinson's fallen into a coma.
She could be like this for a while.
Who's getting her left chair? I'm getting a restraining order.
Is that how you treat your mother? I just need to let go.
I just got off of probation.
- Is Brad getting rough with you? - We're fine.
- I love you.
- You're a PA with benefits.
Remember that sexual harassment seminar? I learned some stuff.
What do you want? Maxine claimed to never have had cosmetic surgery.
Blepharoplasty? That's an eyebrow lift.
Your vitals have returned to normal.
My body wasn't even cold yet and they're trying to steal my show.
We should issue a press release that my condition remains still in a coma, fighting for my life.
- (Whooshing) - In all my years reporting the news, I have interviewed presidents, princes, and pop stars.
But there are other voices that I wanted to be heard.
So, a decade ago I created a show, where women could sit down and say what's on their minds.
And, boy, do they ever.
We have a real slice of American pie, who puts faith and family first; A Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist with a passion for justice; A child star who is all grown up.
Her POV is OMG; and a real livewire who will crack you up while she's tearing you down; and me, Maxine Robinson.
I'm in the left chair every day at noon, on The Lunch Hour, where no topic is taboo.
- Woman: Two minutes, standby.
- Female Narrator: And so Maxine Robinson rose from her humble beginnings in Jamaica, Queens, to become an award-winning journalist.
We're making it sound as if she's dead.
Is she? - Was there an update? - Shh! Okay, good.
Good, good, all good.
She's still in a coma.
Narrator: Besides her success as a broadcaster, businesswoman and humanitarian, she's also a great philanthropist.
(Scoffs) Really? She still hasn't paid me for the wrapping paper from Savannah's school fundraiser.
Guys, they're trying to listen to this.
You're being disrespectful.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me.
Narrator: Maxine was a trailblazing working mother, having rescued her nephew, Shawn, from an unstable home, and he became not only her legally adopted son but a treasured member of our family here at The Lunch Hour.
I bet you he has a treasured member.
Inappropriate.
Narrator: Though her marriage to Ted Winsor, a successful entrepreneur and the love of her life, ended in a heartbreaking tragedy And she never had sex again.
I can't imagine losing a husband.
I would be so lost if anything ever happened to Brad.
Narrator: Like Maxine often said, nobody can ever replace the love of your life.
We'd all be better off if she'd dust the cobwebs up out of Narrator: From all of us here at NAB and our family at The Lunch Hour, we salute Maxine Robinson.
Man: Back to live in three, two (Audience applause) That was so inspiring.
If you can somehow hear me, Maxine, we want you back.
We all want her back, Kibby.
Keep on praying just as we've all well, as I've been doing, which leads me to my own personal tribute.
When I was sitting with her in the hospital, something came to me, a song that celebrates the power that we have to heal.
It's called For God's Sake.
What a crock.
It came to her in the hospital.
She's been trying to get me to let her sing that song for the past two months.
If my eye twitched, it was because my senses were being assaulted.
- Cut to commercial.
- Now? - Maxine: Now! - Cut to commercial, now.
- Good God - Female Announcer: Kaboom cuts through nasty ring around the tub and can quickly tackle Okay, Mom, you've had your fun, but we can't keep doing this.
It's making me look bad and the network's starting to think we're all incompetent.
They assume you're making mistakes out of grief because I'm not there.
They love it.
They may love it, but I've got Jason Abel up my ass every five minutes.
Abel's a network president.
Up an ass is where he's most comfortable.
He wants to bring in replacement cohost for you.
After three days? Never happen.
My empty chair is getting huge ratings.
Which reminds me to get Mo's fat ass out of it, now.
Short of a leash, I can't get - her to stay in her own chair.
- There's a Petco on Columbus.
Abel says they're looking at Tyra Banks.
- Puh-lease.
- Shawn: Meredith Vieira.
- Maxine: She'd be good.
- Really? - No! - Caitlyn Jenner.
We can't have a woman with male privilege.
- Shawn: Ann Coulter.
- No, has to be a woman.
(Phone dings) Oh damn.
They're looking at Michelle Obama.
- Hello? Mom? - (Street din) - Where is Leon? - He's never where he's supposed to be.
He's harder to find on the floor than you.
I've got a bit more on my plate than Leon.
(Background din) Leon forgot to take my phone and Brad called in the middle of the show.
You don't know how to turn your own phone off? And Brad hasn't realized what time The Lunch Hour's on yet? Please don't attack my Brad.
He's the perfect husband and father.
The problem is Leon.
He dropped my cards and put them back in the wrong order.
Isn't it your job to check them? Why are we making excuses for him? Do you actually like him? (Mock laugh) No, okay? He's a lazy entitled idiot, but he tries.
Well, he screws everything up.
Except the lattes! Oh! Finally.
These are like crack.
Well, don't all look at me like that.
It's a figure of speech.
Mine would taste that good to if I took 45 minutes to make them.
Just saying.
- So bitter.
- 30 seconds, ladies.
Mm! Leon! Do I have anything in my teeth? - Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry.
- What am I, your busboy? - (Audience applause) - Man: Going live.
(Talking over each other) Oh my goodness.
Sorry about all of that.
And welcome back.
As you can see, we're still a little bit lost - without our fearless leader.
- I'm not.
Which is why I want to share my tribute.
You're going to do it again? - (Footsteps) - Here we go.
- Thank you.
- (Slow country music) For God's sake it's how I For God's sake, what are you all moping around for? - Nobody died! - (Audience cheers and applause) - (Upbeat pop music) - What the (Audience cheers and applause) - You're back.
- Yes, I'm back.
How? Well, one minute I was out, the next, I was wide awake.
Well, come, sit down.
I would love to.
But, Mo, you look so at home in my chair.
- Thank you, Maxine, I feel at home.
- (Laughter) - Well, it's good to be back.
- (Audience cheers and applause) Mo, I want to thank you for filling in for me.
You know how I appreciate initiative.
That's all the time we have today.
Tune in tomorrow; we'll have so much more to talk about, including an in-depth discussion with the ever-popular and sometimes controversial Dr.
Justin Timmerman.
So, join us tomorrow and, always remember, lunch is on us.
- (Audience applause) - Man: That's a wrap.
- Maxine, I'm so glad you're okay.
- I prayed for you every minute.
Your hair looks really good from being in a coma.
I thought it'd be all flat in the back.
Thank you, I appreciate your concern and how hard you all worked in my absence.
It's times like this when you learn who your friends really are.
- Indeed.
- Absolutely.
- That's all.
- Oh, okay.
Uh, well, please let us know if you need anything.
- If I do, I'll let you know.
- Thanks, Maxine.
Uh, Kibby, um, can we have a chat in my office? - Me? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Um, sorry.
- How are you, baby girl? - I'm fine.
How are you? (Sighs) Anything you wanna tell me? You mean about me? I'm not worried about you.
You're the only one who's not a conniving vulture ready to eat her own mother for air time.
Thank you, that's, that's very nice.
To be honest, I, I had a bit of a rough time.
Of course, you did.
Why would I expect anything different? (Sighs) - It's so disappointing.
- I am so sorry.
Well, don't apologize.
I should've known those women were going to try to push you around in my absence.
Huh? Oh, no, they were fine.
I was talking about the the something else.
- What is it, baby? - It's, uh, it's, it's nothing.
Kibby, you know, I'm very proud of you.
And I'm so impressed on how far you've come.
If you ever need to talk, you know you can always come to me.
I do know that.
I do.
Thank you, Maxine.
- Is there anything else? - No, that's it.
Just do me a favour and stay there for another five minutes.
And when you leave here, don't breathe a word of this to the other women.
You know they're outside the door Like hookers on dollar day.
- Kibby, what did she say? - Nothing.
- Just asked me how I was.
- Come on, Kibby, we're a team here.
- Oh, really? We're a team now? - Just tell us what she said.
Did she trash us? Did she fire any of us? She can't be right in the head after her accident.
You know what, Mo? Maybe she is making changes.
But it was a closed-door meeting, so - Heather: Oh, come on.
- You know what, Kibby, you think you're on the inside track with this woman, but one little slip and you're a walking time bomb.
Then you're right back on our side of the closed door.
Thanks for the advice.
(Light pop music) - Shawn.
- Really? This is the only place that I could get you alone.
Well, until now it was the only place I could get some peace.
You've been avoiding me since the hospital.
You made it pretty clear you had some things to figure out.
So, when you figure them out, let me know.
In the meantime - do you mind? - (Sigh) Do you still love Andrew? I love you, Shawn.
Look, we've had a lot of things thrown at us and it has been confusing.
And now with Andrew running, - I just - You're a politician's wife.
You had to know he'd run eventually.
Yeah, and now that he is, I can't just leave him hanging.
I I owe him.
Got it.
So you want me to postpone things while you do the dutiful wife on the campaign trail thing.
What if he gets elected? Then it's even harder.
Don't you realize there is never going to be a good time? I just need to find a way out of this, and to do it in a way with the least amount of hurt for all of us.
So can you please just be patient with me a little longer? I love you.
So yeah, I'll be patient.
But we need a plan.
- (Smooch) - (Footsteps) - (Traffic din) - You're overreacting.
- You didn't do anything wrong.
- No, I just lied to Maxine about how great I'm doing, when in reality I was drunk and high while she was clinging to life in the hospital.
- You were stressed.
- The apology tweet just writes itself.
Look, it was my fault too.
You weren't the one Maxine offered a second chance to.
The woman just came out of a coma.
You think she'd wants to be bothered with your crap? Give it a little time, babe.
You'll know when it's right to tell her.
- Okay.
Love you so much, Nick.
- Me, too.
- (Click) - (Footsteps) (Latch clicks) Does this colour make my lips look bigger? Tandy, what are you doing here? Why aren't you in school? Mom said to take the day off.
- Tandy, you know that's not cool.
- Tell Mom.
Well, Mom's an idiot, so I'm not sure how much good that will do.
You have to take responsibility for yourself.
Whatever.
Mom needs cash.
They turned off the power.
So, she sent you here to ask me? Plus, we needed to recharge our phone.
Wow.
I hate her.
Sent you here because she's too much of a screw-up to - Is that going to cover it? - Yeah.
Sorry, Kib.
It wasn't my idea.
No, don't you be sorry.
It's just she's It's me who's sorry.
I wish I could do something.
- Yeah, me too.
- (Footsteps) - (Latch clicks) - (Sigh) Jason.
These are beautiful.
Thank you.
We are so happy to have you back.
Well, I'm happy to be back.
What can I do for you? I just wanted to celebrate your return.
And? You have a very suspicious mind.
Jason, you're the network president.
Flowers are never just flowers.
What's up? Your ratings.
People went nuts tuning in to check your condition and see how the other ladies were coping.
And today? Holy shit, I can't wait to see the ratings boost you just gave us.
The network's ecstatic.
So, we want to make sure we keep up that momentum.
Well, obviously, I can't recover from a life-threatening medical emergency every day.
But, I'll tell you what, if we start to slip, maybe I'll amputate something.
(Both laugh) In all seriousness, this is a real opportunity here.
It's given the show a second wind.
I didn't realize we needed a second wind.
Well, it's a very competitive marketplace, Maxine.
We can't afford to sit on our laurels.
- We should talk strategy.
- We should talk another time.
I need to get some rest.
It's been a very eventful day.
And don't worry, I will be resting on my couch and not on my laurels.
- I'll be in touch.
- (Sigh) - My man.
Hey! - Hi.
Ah, so, it's good to have our girl back, right? - Mm.
- She, uh, seem okay to you? - Look okay? - All good, Mo.
Oh, come on now, Jason.
This is me you're talking to.
Is there a problem? - (Click) - Okay, I'm just going to flat out say it.
I'm a little concerned about Maxine and her ability to lead the show.
- Why? She seems fine.
- So, people who are fine go into comas during routine surgery? She needs a rest.
She's been carrying the burden of this show for 12 years and she's had the pressure of keeping it from going stale.
You guys almost lost her.
Don't you think that's something - you should be looking at? - Of course, we're looking into it.
Then ease up on her.
Let the rest of us help share the burden.
You know, bring a little energy into it.
And I'm not saying that I need the extra work' but, you know, I'm really good at shaking shit up.
- So that's what this is about.
- No, no, no.
What this is about is taking care of Maxine.
She's not going to let you know that she needs help.
She's not going to show you her weak side.
But what you need to do is open up your damn eyes' and see that she's in trouble.
- (Slow hip hop music) - Over my dead body will I let Jason Abel babysit me on set.
You keep that interfering little gnat out of my life! No, this is not something I can calm down about.
Not when some obsequious, Armani-ed little testicle is pushing the limit.
Glad to see your mother's back to her old self.
He's just here to evaluate things for a few days.
And you have to be reasonable.
They own this show.
They just wanna protect their asset.
Asset? They didn't even want to buy the show.
They said ABC had The View and, I quote, "How many more yapping women do we need on TV?" And you proved them wrong.
And now they just want to keep - the gravy train running.
- Well, maybe it's a sign I should retire, actually have a life.
This show is your life.
So, play nice, Mom.
- Ah, good morning, Jason.
- Good morning, Maxine.
Just checking in with our ladies.
Lovely to have you, Jason.
If you need anything, feel free to ask them.
Justin Timmerman, oh, my goodness.
Have you guys seen him yet? - He is so cute.
- Yeah, in that sort of hot TV doctor who may or may not know what he's talking about kind of way.
If you're going to have someone lecturing you about what you're doing wrong with your body, it may as well be someone fine.
Son of a bitch.
Leon! - (Footsteps) - What? I'm making lattes.
Oh, never mind.
My mistake.
Man: Quiet, please.
His controversial medical techniques, which experts claim are more harmful than helpful, are making headlines.
Please welcome the hunky healer, Dr.
Justin Timmerman.
(Audience cheers and applause) - Welcome, welcome.
- Thank you.
And I prefer MD over hunky healer.
- (Audience laughter) - Does MD stand for muscular doctor? (Laughter) Now, Dr.
Timmerman, you popularized cryotherapy claiming that cold therapy is more effective than prescription drugs.
Not just claims, Maxine.
If you look at the clinical research Well, um, you are being investigated, uh, by Congress because three of your patients Uh, I'm sorry, I don't usually need these but the noggin's a little tired after the last few days.
No apologies necessary.
It's common to experience diminished activity in the cerebral cortex during what we - refer to as wakefulness.
- Well, the investigation was initiated by patients whose brain injuries were worsened because your influences were dance, pop, funk, and soul.
Uh, I sometimes play that music in the operating room.
Sure.
(Chuckles) Uh, uh, but these, uh, these patients allege that you were involved with Britney Spears.
Britney Spears, really? - Um, unfortunately no.
- Uh, I am sorry, I must have the-the wrong cards.
Guess that cerebral thingamajig is still adjusting.
I'm I'm Perfectly understandable.
And, hey, I think Britney is pretty hot.
(Laughter) - So, you're gay? - (Murmurs) Uh, I don't like to discuss my sexuality.
I'm here to talk about my many advances in, uh, cryotherapy.
- Uh, we will be right back.
- (Audience applause) Woman: And we're out.
Yeah.
It was good.
Mo, my office.
Now.
- (Slam) - What the hell was that? Oh, Leon must have grabbed the wrong cards.
Justin Timberlake is not on till next week Yeah, I'm aware of the schedule.
Look, there's a lot of scrutiny on Maxine right now.
- So unfair.
- Something like this can't happen again.
Fire Leon.
There's just one problem with that.
If he gets fired, then the world finds out exactly what Maxine was up to in that doctor's office.
I don't get it.
He is the most incompetent PA we've ever had and you are not the type to suffer fools.
He's got potential, and not everyone has a mother that can just give them a job.
- (Traffic din) - Hey, so, good show.
I assume you're referring to the part where I didn't make an ass out of myself.
I'm sorry about the Leon thing.
I'll figure something out.
Please.
Leon's an idiot.
What's there to figure out? The point is I know he's an idiot.
I should've checked my cards, then had a clue that our brain-surgeon guest hadn't dated Britney Spears.
Okay, so listen and please just keep an open mind.
Abel wants to cut you to three shows a week.
Cycle guest hosts on the off days.
- What? - He's just concerned about your health.
After the boost we just gave this show? Is nothing ever enough for these people? I won't do it.
I'll go over his head.
Look, maybe you really could use the rest.
- Are you taking his side? - No.
But he thinks you were in a coma the last five days and you were - just off your game right now.
- I was off my game because I let myself be distracted by him.
Point is, I was off my game and the network's not used to seeing me like that.
Come on, tomorrow's Friday.
Let's just get through that.
Do the best show we can do and see if he backs off.
If not, you got some extra free time to yourself.
- To do what? Go shopping? - Go shopping.
- Find a man.
- Ugh, I'll find a man when you find a woman.
(Coughing) (Woman whimpering) Nina? Knock, knock.
Oh, hey.
(Sniffles) - Sorry.
- No, don't, don't be sorry.
It's your dressing room.
Well, I don't normally puke in trash cans.
Oh, shh.
Hey, hey.
It's okay.
I mean, God, I've been there so many times myself.
You have? During the third and fourth seasons of Spacey, it was happening like every day.
Oh, no, Kib, I'm not bulimic.
Oh.
Oh, I'm not saying that you are.
I'm just saying that's what - you're into - My life is an open book.
I shouldn't have assumed.
Um, I'm sure normal people puke for totally normal reasons.
(Chuckles) Like what, are you pregnant or - (Crying) - Oh, my God.
That's so great! No? No, that's so horrible.
Okay.
I'm sorry, I'm really bad at this.
You're so Lacey from Outer Spacey sometimes.
(Sniffles) Uh, listen.
I don't want anyone to know about this yet.
I haven't even told Andrew.
So, can you please not Yeah, I won't.
I promise.
Nina: Thanks.
(Sniffles) - (Latch clicks) - (Grunting) - (TV din) - Hey, guys! - Mommy! - Hey! Oh, sorry I'm late.
Had a fitting.
Whipped through, like, 20 dresses that, I have to admit, all looked amazing.
- I have pics.
You want to see? - I want to see.
- Okay.
- (TV din) What? Are you mad? It was just dresses, Brad.
No, Heather, if he wants to look at dresses, let him look.
The neckline on the coral one is sick.
Thanks, honey.
I like that one too.
Did you eat? You're joking, right? We had dinner plans an hour ago.
We did? (Sighs) Oh, God, to celebrate your endorsement deal.
I, I'm so sorry.
- I don't know how - How? You know, maybe with your show and your music, your book, your fittings, and general obsession with yourself, it's just hard to remember that something might be important to your husband like this stupid little dinner.
I resent that.
(Dramatic instrumental music) Excuse me? Averline, take the kids to watch cartoons.
Averline: Come on.
(Dog barking in the distance) People at work are starting to notice the bruises and I'm not about to start wearing sister white gowns.
So, be careful.
Just like a hurricane, you took me by surprise Wow, fancy.
What's the occasion? I want to talk to you and this is in my neighborhood.
Well, we could've just met at your place.
Yeah, if I wanted you to know where I live.
Nice to see you too, daughter.
You seriously kept Tandy home from school so you could send - her to ask me for more money? - Well, when I asked you, you threatened me with a restraining order.
Anyway, Tandy is smarter than both of us combined.
A day or two off of school, it's not going to kill her.
You know, you once told me you wish you had been a better mother to me.
I mean, granted you were drunk Is that why I'm here? To be insulted? To be told what a bad mother I am? - To be lectured? - I'm not lecturing you.
Do you think it's easy? Being a single mother, raising kids, paying bills? I have paid your bills since I was 12 years old and somehow that's still not enough to keep the lights on? I think dinner was a mistake.
I need you to do a better job with Tandy.
Don't tell me what you need me to do.
I mean it, Mom, or I'll find a way to get custody.
(Laugh) Kibby, you can't even take care of yourself.
What are you going to do? Have your probation officer help you come after me? There isn't a court in this world that would award custody - of a minor to someone like you.
- (Splash) Breathing you in, breathing you out - (Footsteps) - Congressman.
Constituents.
Oh, you're already used to the title and you barely started - the campaign.
- (Chuckles) Positive thinking.
That's how I get what I want.
- It's not the only way.
- Oh, back at you.
I was thinking a pregnant wife would be an asset to your campaign.
- I found a sperm donor.
- A what? Already? - Now? - I thought you were okay with this.
I am.
I was.
I thought I'd have a little more time to warm up to the idea, Nina.
Well, it's just I found someone really amazing and I'm excited and I thought we had a deal.
- One of many.
- Yes, my dear.
That's why we're really good for each other.
(Scoff) Okay.
Okay.
Fine.
Tell me about Mr.
Wonderful.
I did a lot of research at the clinics and I found someone who I think is absolutely perfect: ivy educated, tall, - handsome, athletic.
- Nice to his mother? Will you at least be open if there's something that I want to pursue further? (Sigh) Fine.
If this is what you really want and you think this is the right time I'm in.
- Kibby: She's such a bitch! - Yeah, newsflash.
Why do you let her get to you? I get what you're saying about Tandy, but she'll turn out okay, you did.
I'm an ex-substance abuser parolee screaming into a phone - on the street.
- You're on probation, not parole.
Big diff.
- (Footsteps) - (Door clanks) Have a good workout with your friend.
- Trisha cancelled.
- So, what are you going to do? - Wait, where are you? - (Gasp) Kibby.
Kibby (Footsteps) (Gasp) Oh, I love the coral.
In fact, I was told by a very discerning critic that it was sick on me.
Is that a cross tattoo? - You're not going goth on me.
- (Footsteps) - (Slam) - Okay, ladies, liquid orgasms before the weekend.
Here you go, Kibs.
Come on, girl, you could use the sugar.
- You look like shit.
- (Bleep) you, Mo.
- Mm, love you too, bitch.
- Fraud! Fraud! (Sighs) Fraud.
I just thought you guys might all want to know why his lattes are so good.
Those extra 45 minutes he's using to make them, he's probably just jerking off in the stairwell.
Fat chance of that.
- Is that whole milk? - It's half and half.
Why not just inject butter into their veins? - Why is everyone so annoying? - (Gasp) Son of a bitch! It's hot! Move, bitch! Hot! It's hot! Hot! Hot! Damn it! Aren't you a little long in the tooth for a foam party? Shut the hell up.
This is my favourite top.
Mine too.
I like how it narrows your shoulders and widens your hips.
Okay, boss lady, you want to play with me? Let's play.
Because I've got a good game I've been meaning to show you.
I'm a little busy running a show.
Alright, no worries.
I'll just wait for a more opportune time to show you.
- (Grunts) - (Footsteps) (Rattling) I have a few notes for Monday's roundtable.
You got a minute? - (Bottle clunks) - (Footsteps) - Hey.
- Hey, hey.
What's going on with the plan? Oh, come on, Shawn, it's been, like, two days.
Yeah, and the patience you want me to have is wearing thin, not to mention the hiding.
One minute, we're pretending to be colleagues, the next minute we're making out in my office.
I don't have an on-off switch.
Well, it's not easy for me either, okay? - It's complicated.
- You, you keep saying that, but you don't love the man and you're not happy with him.
- What's so complicated? - I'm pregnant, Shawn.
What? I thought you said he couldn't He can't.
Man: Two minutes to places, everyone.
In two minutes! Alright, I need your phones, ladies.
Gum in Ramona's bucket.
Uh-uh, I'm going to need mine another minute.
Oh, have a good show, Maxine.
Don't let anything throw you today.
Watch it, Mo, your shelf life on the show is way past its expiration date.
It's not me you should be worried about.
I have insurance.
Throat surgery, my ass.
How did you get my medical records? That's illegal.
Oh, you want to call the police? Mo, you better be very careful.
No, you should be very careful.
What will all of your viewers think if this leaked out all over the Internet and they found out that you have been lying to them this whole time about your naturally youthful appearance? When the truth comes out about all this little nipping and tucking you've been doing, you're going to lose a lot of credibility.
Don't threaten me, Mo.
This is not a threat.
And we have a whole show to get to today, and I do have a very big mouth.
Female Announcer: Live from our studios in New York: Maxine, Kibby, Nina, Heather, and Mo, - serving you The Lunch Hour.
- Welcome, welcome.
Back to The Lunch Hour for another day.
Fresh out of a coma, and she looks amazing.
Maybe we should all take a little coma nap.
- (Audience laughter) - Well, there are other ways to - look refreshed, right, Maxine? - You know what, I don't really want to talk about my illness anymore.
Oh, finally, something we all can agree on.
We are tired of talking about your illness.
(Laughs) Well, what would you like to talk about, Mo? Well, Maxine, you do not want to go there.
Oh, but I do.
I want to clear the air about one thing.
Just one? (Laughs) Mo, I'm speaking now so, how about you shut up and let me talk? (Audience gasps) Matter of fact, I'll make a deal with you.
If you go into a coma, I will devote an entire show to you.
(Audience weak laughter) This is not easy for me.
I, uh, I lied to all of you about something.
Um, and I'm embarrassed to tell the world that I didn't tell the truth about what really happened to me the day I went into a coma.
I was, uh, tempted and sorry to say succumbed to the pressures of aging in a youth-oriented world.
And being over 35 is tough for any woman.
I was not in a medical facility for a throat surgery that day.
I was in a medical facility for cosmetic surgery.
(Audience gasps) - Holy shit.
- A brow lift to be exact and, um I was going to lie and, and deny it and cover it all up.
I'm grateful that it never happened.
Thank God, my body rejected the anesthesia and sent me into a coma.
Thank God, I was spared unnecessary surgery.
And, now, now I can continue to age the way I always have, naturally and gracefully, because what matters most is if we're really happy with ourselves.
I am embarrassed at my temptation, but there is no more perfect example of why I created The Lunch Hour, so that we could - have honest communication.
- (Audience applause) And that's why I will be here for you every day, five days a week, so that women have the platform and the voice to be free.
(Audience cheers and applause) So, think we've got her under control now? - (Audience applause) - I'm going to say yeah - for now.
- (Audience cheers and applause) - (Knocking) - (Click) - Hey, Shawn.
- Andrew.
- Hey.
- Hi.
We were just headed out.
Fundraising luncheon.
Guess I'd better get used to them, huh? Good show today, huh? Boy, your mom knows how to deliver.
Yeah.
She, she sure does.
Uh, we never quite finished discussing my notes from Monday's roundtable.
But I guess it can wait till Monday morning.
- Thanks.
- Take care, Shawn.
- Good to see you, alright.
- We'll talk Monday.
Wait.
Did I grab the stapler? Yes, moron, when I reminded you it wasn't in the car right before I had to pay the bill because you forgot the company car.
Hey, you're the one who wanted to come.
That's because Shawn told me if you want to keep your job, I have to supervise you to keep you from screwing up.
Jesus.
No dick is good enough for this.
You and I both know that's not true, baby.
- Mo: Ah.
- Crap.
Did we get Shawn's hole punch? I will punch a hole in your face.
- I swear to God, Leon.
- What is wrong with you? (Sighs) Well, did you not see the show today? Maxine totally screwed me over.
I've got no leverage.
And, by the way, they've promoted Ramona to head PA again.
Whatever.
It's way too much work anyways.
I'd rather spend my energy coming up with segments.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the train.
Now you're trying to be a producer? Yeah.
Look, I got ideas.
(Laughs) You know what? You millennials are a piece of work.
Memo to Leon, despite what your mommy and daddy told you growing up, nobody gives a damn about your ideas.
The sex tape was a pretty good idea.
It has been a hell of a day.
And that bitch checking the receipts just wrote on me with her highlighter.
Don't push me.
Check it.
Mo to Mo.
You drive a car all around New York doing, like, hidden camera, man-on-the-street style interviews.
You are such an idiot.
How can I be man on the streets if I'm in a car? (Traffic din) Why don't you, um, run that by me again back here? - (Giggling) - Ooh.
(Crickets chirping) Can I get a little blush, Mommy? Honey, no.
It'll clog your pores this late at night.
Do you hear yourself? "It'll clog your pores"? No wonder he's Shut up, Brad! Is that really how you're talking to me right now? Yes, Brad.
It is how I'm going to talk to you right now.
- Averline.
- (Footsteps) - Cartoons.
- You sure about that? It's so late and the children need to be in the bed.
- Cartoons, Averline.
- (Footsteps) (Click) (Dramatic instrumental music) - Get the book.
- (Footsteps) Ephesians 5:22.
(Light instrumental music) "Wives, submit to your own husband - (Smack) - (Gasping) (Panting) as to the Lord.
- For the husband is - (Smack) (Panting) for the husband is the head - of the wife.
" - (Smack) (Panting) (Whistling) - (Traffic din) - Maxine: Oh, I have flowers - and champagne tonight.
- Excellent.
- (Slam) - (Traffic din) - (Footsteps) - Hey, Hector.
If you can cover the desk, I can help her with these.
- Thanks.
- (Elevator dings) - (Footsteps) - (Click) - (Footsteps) - Lilies are a very delicate flower.
Please, William, be gentle.
(Silence) (Traffic din) (Upbeat dance music) (Dramatic instrumental music) Does Maxine Robinson live here? We don't give out information on our residents.
I understand.
Would you mind giving these to her? Are you a friend of Maxine's? Wow.
What a beautiful building.
- How long have you worked here? - I'm going on my 12th year.
Could I ask you a couple questions? People in this building are very private.
Hmm.
I think you should be on your way.
Just a few questions, maybe two or three simple questions.
(Rustling) Female Announcer: Next time on Daytime Divas Miss Kelly Osbourne.
Sometimes it's nice to change things up.
How about a new co-host? - Don't go rogue on air again.
- Fans love it when I go rogue.
Who's Anna Krauss? She used to be my assistant.
She's back in town, writing a book about you.
I'm running for office, Nina.
I'm doing everything I can to make sure I'm bulletproof.
Does he even know you're pregnant? It could get ugly if I don't do this the right way.
Kibby: I guess I'm triggered because I don't like secrets.
It was a long time ago, Maxine.
No one will find out what happened that night.