Decoys (2020) s01e02 Episode Script
Roughouts
1
♪
It is true, we were bumped from
the Lloydminster rec centre
this year due to a scheduling
conflict.
Turns out they're using it
for their "Fight Cancer
Walkathon" headquarters.
Pfft.
Those rec centre people are as
good as dead to me now.
♪
Oh, here we go.
All right, Dennis. Look alive.
We're about to
play hardball here,
and if we show any sign of
weakness in front of these types
they'll gut us.
Thanks, Mom.
You're late.
Sorry, my mom couldn't
find her purse.
I'm sorry, we're working on a
pretty tight schedule here.
- What was your name?
- Griffin.
The old key act. Seen it a
million times.
Gotta wake up a lot earlier than
that to rattle old Barb.
A lot earlier.
Whoa, I feel like I'm about to
jump out of a plane.
Okay.
Watch the process.
It's important never to rush the
process, you know?
"Getting things done" is such a
Western idea.
I think everybody knows that the
muse runs on her own schedule.
You know? Rushing is suicide.
♪
Oh, you know. Just the usual for
a guy like me.
My favourite. Soul food.
My sous chef.
Just kidding. That's my
wonderful wife, Simran.
She loves it when I cook
Canadian cuisine.
No.
Oh boy.
♪
It's been a bit of trial
and error.
It's kinda hard to figure this
out on your own.
I've, uh, had to seek some help.
Rhett Peltier, carve you a dime,
give you nine cents change.
He calls himself "the original
bad boy of Alberta carving."
I dislike having him in my home.
He's been really helpful.
He actually knew my dad back
in the day.
Used to call his dad the
"Loon-a-tic,"
'cause all he carved was loons.
Yeah your dad.
He attracted more hens than
Cigar Daisy.
You went with him to any
waterfowl carving show
in Western Canada,
and the ducks weren't the only
thing getting wet.
When I say "wet" I mean wetter
than a Manitoba marsh.
Hold on, hens?
Carving groupies.
There's no way that's a thing.
Oh, it's a thing.
Right.
Let me start burning in the
feathers.
Whoa! What'd I tell you about
putting your greasy paws
all over an unfinished loon?
Sorry.
Now that's better.
Carvers can be a bit particular.
They're weird.
♪
Hello, sir. Can I can
help you with anything?
Does this place carry draw
knives?
Um, pardon me?
Fixed blade knives for carving.
I don't think we carry those.
Maybe try houseware? This is the
woodworking section.
I know what section I'm in.
Sure. It's just that the tools
for carving meat
aren't over here. See, we
separate the tools based on
Meat?! It's carving, son!
Wood carving!
Oh, I think you mean whittling.
Call it what you must.
Okay. Well, it looks like we
don't have it,
so what I can recommend is maybe
a kitchen knife.
I can take you over to the
section that
Stop. Next you're going to tell
me you don't know the difference
between flat sawn and quarter
sawn lumber.
Uh, of course I do. Let me just
look it up.
What is the world coming to?!
Have a great day!
Yike.
♪
Oh my God.
No way.
It's perfect!
What do you think about the
acoustics, Griffin?
Um good?
Blue bill!
Blue bill!
Pintail! Pintail! Pintail!
Pintail!
Pintail! Oh!
Ma-mallard! Dr-drake!
Merganser! Merganser!
Mer!
Hey! Hey!
Maaaa! Maaaa!
Ruddy duck! Ruddy!
Yeah, I can work with that.
Yeah.
Okay, Griffin. We're interested.
Definitely. But we need
to talk turkey.
$200 for the entire day is a
little rich for our blood.
We will do $100.
Or we walk.
Final offer, Jack.
Um, sorry, it's $200
for the day.
My boss said that's the price.
Then we walk.
Okay.
I, uh, actually haven't started
carving yet
because the light is all wrong.
So, you know, light is colour,
and colour is like, the
creative conduit
towards all things creative,
so
I just figure that with these
fresh curtains,
it just makes the space
more fecund
for the consummation of
ideas, see?
Like, look at that. Already.
I mean, obviously.
Let me just put it like
that a bit.
Oh man, it's so basic.
I've been a fan for years, but
now I'm going for it.
Swimming with the sharks.
Don't you mean "swimming with
the ducks," no?
That's not even a phrase, babe.
I know that.
You carve a duck, eh?
You carve a duck.
And that can never be taken
away from you.
The knowledge, that is.
I mean, somebody can steal
the duck.
Oh, better get it insured, hm?
From all those duck burglars.
Yes! Exactly my point. Lloyd's
of London, maybe.
Hah-hah. Great idea, honey.
Why did my dad only carve loons?
He loved them.
Shit, he'd ride in a canoe at
dusk just to watch them
all by himself.
I asked him about it one time,
and he said
"Rhett, they go down in that
dark water, disappear."
"They always come back up."
He loved their call, too.
I haven't heard once since
I was a kid.
Shit. I screwed that up.
Nah, it's okay. It's just wood.
Sand away the mistakes.
Nothing is ever unfixable.
Waves of inspiration
wash over us constantly.
Are we quiet enough to listen?
♪
Dude, are you ready?
To paint? God, no. Still got a
ton of work to do on the body.
- No, to go out!
- We're going out?
- Yes.
- Where?
Donald, it's Saturday night!
And I said on Monday that I
wanted to go to that new bar.
You're right, you're
right. I'm sorry.
Yep, we're going out.
You're not gonna change?
What's wrong with this?
Fine, Griffin. You win.
Hi, Griffin, it's Barb.
We'll take it.
Barb. The woman who you showed
the venue to today.
Uh, the venue where you work,
Griffin.
I appreciate that you're gaming
right now,
but we really need to secure
our venue.
Yes, $200. We we can live
with that.
Well, thank you very much.
It will be a pleasure doing
business with you, I'm sure.
Oh, okay, goodbye, Griff
Well, there, he's gone.
We did it. We did it!
Dennis!
I'm gonna get the cranberry.
Oh my goodness. Oh my stars!
Okay.
Let's get that off the
list, pronto.
♪
Oh my gosh, it feels really good
to get out
and just unwind, and
This is pretty wonderful.
Cheers.
Do you think this
is biscuit joint?
I don't know.
At the seam here. It's probably
biscuit joint, right?
Definitely biscuit joint.
Can you imagine
clamping this puppy?
Quite the job.
Look at the round-over on the
edge here.
Some quality stuff.
What do you think they use for
it, a router?
Router? I just met her.
Oh God. That's good.
That never gets old, does it?
Nope.
I just want a call ♪
Call ♪
Call ♪
You don't know me at all ♪
At all ♪
Any more ♪
What can I say ♪
I was a baby, baby ♪
Why can't we stay ♪
Why can't we find that good
place again ♪
♪
It is true, we were bumped from
the Lloydminster rec centre
this year due to a scheduling
conflict.
Turns out they're using it
for their "Fight Cancer
Walkathon" headquarters.
Pfft.
Those rec centre people are as
good as dead to me now.
♪
Oh, here we go.
All right, Dennis. Look alive.
We're about to
play hardball here,
and if we show any sign of
weakness in front of these types
they'll gut us.
Thanks, Mom.
You're late.
Sorry, my mom couldn't
find her purse.
I'm sorry, we're working on a
pretty tight schedule here.
- What was your name?
- Griffin.
The old key act. Seen it a
million times.
Gotta wake up a lot earlier than
that to rattle old Barb.
A lot earlier.
Whoa, I feel like I'm about to
jump out of a plane.
Okay.
Watch the process.
It's important never to rush the
process, you know?
"Getting things done" is such a
Western idea.
I think everybody knows that the
muse runs on her own schedule.
You know? Rushing is suicide.
♪
Oh, you know. Just the usual for
a guy like me.
My favourite. Soul food.
My sous chef.
Just kidding. That's my
wonderful wife, Simran.
She loves it when I cook
Canadian cuisine.
No.
Oh boy.
♪
It's been a bit of trial
and error.
It's kinda hard to figure this
out on your own.
I've, uh, had to seek some help.
Rhett Peltier, carve you a dime,
give you nine cents change.
He calls himself "the original
bad boy of Alberta carving."
I dislike having him in my home.
He's been really helpful.
He actually knew my dad back
in the day.
Used to call his dad the
"Loon-a-tic,"
'cause all he carved was loons.
Yeah your dad.
He attracted more hens than
Cigar Daisy.
You went with him to any
waterfowl carving show
in Western Canada,
and the ducks weren't the only
thing getting wet.
When I say "wet" I mean wetter
than a Manitoba marsh.
Hold on, hens?
Carving groupies.
There's no way that's a thing.
Oh, it's a thing.
Right.
Let me start burning in the
feathers.
Whoa! What'd I tell you about
putting your greasy paws
all over an unfinished loon?
Sorry.
Now that's better.
Carvers can be a bit particular.
They're weird.
♪
Hello, sir. Can I can
help you with anything?
Does this place carry draw
knives?
Um, pardon me?
Fixed blade knives for carving.
I don't think we carry those.
Maybe try houseware? This is the
woodworking section.
I know what section I'm in.
Sure. It's just that the tools
for carving meat
aren't over here. See, we
separate the tools based on
Meat?! It's carving, son!
Wood carving!
Oh, I think you mean whittling.
Call it what you must.
Okay. Well, it looks like we
don't have it,
so what I can recommend is maybe
a kitchen knife.
I can take you over to the
section that
Stop. Next you're going to tell
me you don't know the difference
between flat sawn and quarter
sawn lumber.
Uh, of course I do. Let me just
look it up.
What is the world coming to?!
Have a great day!
Yike.
♪
Oh my God.
No way.
It's perfect!
What do you think about the
acoustics, Griffin?
Um good?
Blue bill!
Blue bill!
Pintail! Pintail! Pintail!
Pintail!
Pintail! Oh!
Ma-mallard! Dr-drake!
Merganser! Merganser!
Mer!
Hey! Hey!
Maaaa! Maaaa!
Ruddy duck! Ruddy!
Yeah, I can work with that.
Yeah.
Okay, Griffin. We're interested.
Definitely. But we need
to talk turkey.
$200 for the entire day is a
little rich for our blood.
We will do $100.
Or we walk.
Final offer, Jack.
Um, sorry, it's $200
for the day.
My boss said that's the price.
Then we walk.
Okay.
I, uh, actually haven't started
carving yet
because the light is all wrong.
So, you know, light is colour,
and colour is like, the
creative conduit
towards all things creative,
so
I just figure that with these
fresh curtains,
it just makes the space
more fecund
for the consummation of
ideas, see?
Like, look at that. Already.
I mean, obviously.
Let me just put it like
that a bit.
Oh man, it's so basic.
I've been a fan for years, but
now I'm going for it.
Swimming with the sharks.
Don't you mean "swimming with
the ducks," no?
That's not even a phrase, babe.
I know that.
You carve a duck, eh?
You carve a duck.
And that can never be taken
away from you.
The knowledge, that is.
I mean, somebody can steal
the duck.
Oh, better get it insured, hm?
From all those duck burglars.
Yes! Exactly my point. Lloyd's
of London, maybe.
Hah-hah. Great idea, honey.
Why did my dad only carve loons?
He loved them.
Shit, he'd ride in a canoe at
dusk just to watch them
all by himself.
I asked him about it one time,
and he said
"Rhett, they go down in that
dark water, disappear."
"They always come back up."
He loved their call, too.
I haven't heard once since
I was a kid.
Shit. I screwed that up.
Nah, it's okay. It's just wood.
Sand away the mistakes.
Nothing is ever unfixable.
Waves of inspiration
wash over us constantly.
Are we quiet enough to listen?
♪
Dude, are you ready?
To paint? God, no. Still got a
ton of work to do on the body.
- No, to go out!
- We're going out?
- Yes.
- Where?
Donald, it's Saturday night!
And I said on Monday that I
wanted to go to that new bar.
You're right, you're
right. I'm sorry.
Yep, we're going out.
You're not gonna change?
What's wrong with this?
Fine, Griffin. You win.
Hi, Griffin, it's Barb.
We'll take it.
Barb. The woman who you showed
the venue to today.
Uh, the venue where you work,
Griffin.
I appreciate that you're gaming
right now,
but we really need to secure
our venue.
Yes, $200. We we can live
with that.
Well, thank you very much.
It will be a pleasure doing
business with you, I'm sure.
Oh, okay, goodbye, Griff
Well, there, he's gone.
We did it. We did it!
Dennis!
I'm gonna get the cranberry.
Oh my goodness. Oh my stars!
Okay.
Let's get that off the
list, pronto.
♪
Oh my gosh, it feels really good
to get out
and just unwind, and
This is pretty wonderful.
Cheers.
Do you think this
is biscuit joint?
I don't know.
At the seam here. It's probably
biscuit joint, right?
Definitely biscuit joint.
Can you imagine
clamping this puppy?
Quite the job.
Look at the round-over on the
edge here.
Some quality stuff.
What do you think they use for
it, a router?
Router? I just met her.
Oh God. That's good.
That never gets old, does it?
Nope.
I just want a call ♪
Call ♪
Call ♪
You don't know me at all ♪
At all ♪
Any more ♪
What can I say ♪
I was a baby, baby ♪
Why can't we stay ♪
Why can't we find that good
place again ♪