Dinosaur (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

1
- People have this image
of scientists as antisocial,
rigid, and a bit autistic.
- But I am.
- [Chuckles nervously]
Y-you're autistic.
- Mm-hmm.
- Of course.
- I'm pretty sure
Declan is too.
- I'm engaged.
- To who?
- Ranesh.
- The TikTok advertising man
with the concave arse?
RANESH: It's just
a rustic peasant dish
that I picked up
during my summer in Firenze.
- Mum and Dad are not
gonna be happy about this.
- Darling.
ADE: We're so happy about this.
- What'd I miss?
- Evie's gonna bankrupt
Mum and Dad.
- What else is new?
- There's a new
coffee sheriff in town.
[Chuckles]
I like to give people a chance.
[Chuckles]
- Nina, will you be
my maid of honor?
[Upbeat rock music]
- Yeah. Yeah.
♪
So it's funny
because the title is a pun.
So it's not a M-A-I-D of Honor.
It's M-A-D-E of Honor
because Patrick Dempsey
is made to be
the maid of honor.
- Oh, Patrick Dempsey.
- Get a bucket and a mop.
[Both groan]
RANESH:
Those baby blues.
Am I right?
[Chuckles]
[slurping]
- Anyway, the reason
I bring it up
is because last night,
I had an epiphany.
Yes, when you asked me
to be your maid of honor,
I was shook,
but then I thought,
if Patrick Dempsey,
you can do a good job
for the first half of the 2008
rom-com Made of Honor
before he ruins the wedding,
then so can I.
AMBER:
OMG. There she is!
Whoo!
[Laughter]
- You invited her?
- Yes.
- It's Mad Amber.
- Oh, it's just Amber now.
- Because mental health
is no joke.
NINA: This is the girl
who made a shrine to you
in your first year of uni,
Evie.
EVIE: It
was a friendship collage,
and she's not like that
anymore.
[Squeals]
AMBER: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
[Laughs]
Babe, you look un-fucking-real.
- Amber, you're literally
the hottest thing in Glasgow
right now.
- Stop.
- You both look exactly
how you always look
every time you see each other.
- Ranesh, you're smaller
in real life.
[Laughs]
Hi, Nina.
Congrats on being Evie's MOH.
- Oh, I'm not Evie's ma.
I'm her sister.
- No, not ma, MOH.
- MOH.
- M-O-H, maid of honor.
You'll get with the lingo
eventually.
It's OK you didn't ask me
to be MOH, Evie.
After eight tries as MOH,
I'm actually so relieved to
Just be a bridesmaid this time.
[Laughs]
So are we set on a plan yet?
- Plan?
- Ranesh's dad, Sachin,
is coming to town this weekend.
- And I, for one,
can't wait for him
to break bread
with my sweet lady
and meet the family.
[Ranesh and Evie chuckle]
- And we'll share
the happy news.
- Wait, you've not told him
that you're getting married?
It's been a week.
- You can't just drop
a bomb like that, Nina,
especially not
to someone like Sachin.
- Basically, Neens,
Dad isn't super easy to talk to
and down-to-Earth like me.
I mean, I totally get his vibe,
but other people,
well, they find him a little
bit intimidating at first,
which is totally funny to me
because I don't find him scary
at all.
- You do a bit.
- A little bit, yeah.
- Sachin is a very
well-respected art critic.
He can kill a show at Art Basel
with a single look.
- Dad actually exposed
the Wynona Gallery
for displaying
a fake Kandinsky.
- We need to impress him.
- Yeah, we need
to razzle-dazzle him.
- Oh, we don't razzle
nor dazzle; we're Scottish.
Let's just take him to Mum
and Dad's and feed him lasagna.
- Or drinks at Scribble.
[Laughs]
- Oh, my actual God, yes.
It's the place Amber works.
It's perfect.
AMBER: It's the most chic bar
in Glasgow, Ranesh.
Papa will be delighted.
I've recently been promoted
to deputy manager.
- Huh!
Glass ceiling who?
- Amber, that's
such amazing news.
- It's a huge responsibility.
- Of course.
Of course.
So we all just have
to put forward
the best version of ourself.
Then once he likes us,
we will tell him we're engaged.
So no in-jokes, no swearing,
and no personal stories,
especially those that involve
my heavy drinking.
- So to impress this man,
we're all just gonna pretend
to be people we're not?
- Yeah.
AMBER: Mm-hmm.
I do it all the time.
- And we're gonna just keep
doing that forever and ever
At the wedding,
every time we see him,
Christmas, Easter,
all the major holidays
Until he dies,
like we're
a big fake Kandinsky?
- Exactly.
RANESH: You got it.
- What about "You do you"?
[Upbeat music]
[cork pops]
EVIE: Oh, it is so good
to have coffee
with all my favorite people
before starting
the daily grind.
- Evie, your eyeballs
are all trembly.
You look like
an anxious Chihuahua.
Is everything all right?
- I know Ranesh seems like
this gorgeous
devil-may-care hunk,
but he's always been
really desperate
for his dad's approval.
He even does this fake
low voice
when they talk to each other
on the phone.
So if Sachin doesn't approve
of the engagement,
I'm really worried
that he's gonna call off
the whole wedding.
I didn't tell you this before
because I knew
you'd get all judgy.
But Ranesh has a
History of
Impulsive romantic decisions.
- No.
- He was catfished
by a woman called Sandra, OK?
But the police said the case
was so elaborate
that it could have happened
to literally anyone.
So I'm really worried
that he's not gonna be
100% on board with us
getting married so quickly.
- I mean,
he might have a point.
- Look, I know that you think
we're completely off our heads.
But ever since Ranesh
proposed to me,
it's just been
this really special thing
that's just for me.
And everyone's
really proud of me.
And I've never had that before.
So I just want us to get
married as quickly as we can
so I can hold on
to that feeling
for as long as possible.
- [Sighs]
But ideally, we would
ease him into this,
you know, take our time,
getting to know the family,
meeting Mum and Dad.
And you need a TED Talk
and three manuals
before you speak to Mad Amber.
- True, but Sachin
is in Glasgow
for one night
and one night only
on his way to Berlin.
So we have this one
casual drinks at Scribble
to make him like me,
meet his whole extended
family-to-be,
and convince him that we
are nothing like Sandra.
- I will
- I will channel
our rom-com lord and savior,
Patrick Dempsey.
And I will make sure everyone
is on their bestest behavior.
- And just one other wee thing.
- Mm-hmm?
- You know that refreshing,
freewheeling honesty of yours
that we all love so much?
- Mm-hmm?
- I'm not asking you
to change it, but
Could you cover it
for the night, maybe?
- Do you want me
to catfish Ranesh's dad?
- Yes.
- [Groans] Fine.
EVIE:
Mm, thank you, Nina.
NINA: Mm-hmm.
EVIE:
Best maid of honor ever.
NINA: That's 'cause you've got
nothing to compare me to.
[Light music]
NINA: "We need a new name
for our extra foam latte."
Any takers on the name yet?
- No.
Well, no,
there's one suggestion,
but, uh, it's mine.
And it's shit.
Foam Alone.
So
If you build it,
they will come.
- You know, you don't
need a jazzy name.
Your coffee speaks for itself.
- Mm.
In an ideal world, yes.
But we all have
to dress ourselves up a bit
to get on in life, don't we?
- You sound
just like my sister.
- Mm, her concave-arsed fiancé,
was he the worst man
in the world?
- Currently living?
- Mm.
- Then yes.
- [Laughs] Oh.
[Both laugh]
- Anyway, she wants us all
to put on a mask
and pretend to be something
we're not to impress his dad
because he did a show
at Art Basel.
- What's that?
- I have no idea.
But I've been down
that road before,
pretending to be
something I'm not.
I tried for years to be normal,
and I just came off
as more weird.
I'm the girl who spent
her adolescence
trying not to be autistic.
It wasn't as fun as it sounds.
LEE:
I get that.
When I was 16, I blacked out
at a house party
and my mates set fire
to my pubes.
I had to pretend that I was,
like, raging and embarrassed.
But they didn't know
that I'd only just started
growing pubes, like,
three weeks before that.
So I was just buzzing they knew
I had them to begin with.
- [Laughs]
- I'll never forget
that smell, though.
Anyway, um, ach, maybe
it's just about being, like
Like, the best version
of yourself, you know?
Like, if I was ever
to meet your parents,
I'd want to make
a good impression.
A-as your hot drink technician.
I-I mean, my drinks are hot.
Not me.
- Thank you.
- My pubes grew back!
Sorry.
Whatwhat can I get you?
- Can I have a flat white
and a biscotti, please?
- Yes.
[Upbeat rock music]
[Phone chiming and buzzing]
[Computer chimes]
- Did everyone see?
Dr. Catherine Dunne
posted a vacancy online
that's getting
the Dinosaur gang
hot under the collar.
Yeah, I've always thought
Dr. Dunne was a bit overrated,
for what it's worth.
- Apart from the fact
that she discovered like,
the first armored dinosaur
in 130 years, yeah?
- She turned me down
for a job once.
DECLAN:
Hmm.
- Anyway, look at me now.
Got a corner office
and my own toilet.
- You only have your own toilet
'cause none of us
want to go in after you, Shane.
DECLAN: [chuckles]
- You know, you've really
got to be a performing monkey
if you want to get anywhere
as a paleontology media type.
And I wasn't prepared
to do that.
No, not even for a guest spot
on In Our Time
with Melvyn Bragg.
DECLAN: Disguise can be
a bitter fruit to chew.
♪
[The Quilter's
"Hangin' It Up"]
SINGER: I'm not saying you're
in the wrong for playing ♪
But I prefer some color
to the usual gray ♪
It's quite clear ♪
AMBER: You wore it.
- [Gasps]
- You look like a goddess.
- I look like I'm in a militia.
AMBER: Ranesh and Evie
are over there.
I'll sort the drinks.
[Upbeat music playing
over speakers]
EVIE:
Nina.
You look so chic.
NINA: That's right.
I've buttoned
into my military-grade jumpsuit
and buckled in
for the Operation Dad Meet.
So don't worry, there
will be no radical honesty
from me tonight.
- Perfect.
- Except am I allowed
to tell the story
about the time
you shat yourself in Zante
wearing wee white hot pants?
- [Laughs] Nina.
Seriously, though,
do not tell him
that I had to repeat
second year of uni.
- I wasn't going to.
EVIE: Or let Dad get drunk
and go on and on
about his furniture shop.
- Oh, God.
- What?
- Dad's teetotal.
He gave up a few weeks ago.
- And you let us plan
a casual drinks gathering?
RANESH: Oh, my God,
what was I thinking?
NINA: This has nothing to do
with anything,
but is that a cowboy hat
or a trilby?
EVIE:
I told you, it's not 2005.
- He's here.
[Nervously] Dad.
[Deeply] Dad.
NINA:
His glasses are really small.
- Don't say anything.
- Oh, but I really want to.
- Mm-mm-mm-mm.
- May I introduce mon amour?
- Oh, that's French for "love."
[giggles]
- Well, that was
practically Masonic.
[Chuckles]
- I'm Nina.
SACHIN: Nina.
- Can I take your jacket?
- I'll, uh, keep it on.
- So have you come very far?
- From where I started,
I would say so.
- Oh, cool.
Cool, cool, cool.
- Incredible.
I just love art.
- It brings people together.
- Well, that's
a naive statement.
Art is a corporate entity
these days.
EVIE: Mm.
- Wow, look at us,
all standing together.
It's nice, standing, isn't it?
Just standing and
Talking and
Thinking and
Feeling andyeah.
- Uh, can I help you?
- I'm Amber,
Evie's best friend.
I'm the deputy manager here.
- Great.
Well, get me a soda water.
- Are you sure?
We've got this lovely
cherry crémant.
- He wants soda water, Amber.
RANESH:
So, Papa,
have, um, you been busy lately?
- Oh, my God.
SACHIN: Busy is a very
bourgeois concept.
- What is Mom wearing?
- Don't worry about it.
I'm gonna sort it out.
[Clears throat]
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I'm going to go away,
and then at some point,
I shall return.
So keep on being you two.
- Shall we?
- Wow, this bar.
Must be quite a stimulating
space for you, Nina.
- Mm-hmm, did you two
not get Amber's 12 emails
about how to dress chic?
- No, no, we did.
- Mm-hmm.
Do you like my new shawl?
- Currently not allowed
to be myself,
so I can't tell you
what I think
about your ugly shawl.
- [Chuckles]
- The lady in the shop said
Helen Mirren has the same one.
- Oh, I love Helen Mirren.
- Ick, Dad.
You look boiling, Mother.
Would you like me to take
your horse blanket
to the cloakroom?
DIANE: No.
I bought it especially.
After a lot of discussion,
we decided
this was definitely chic
without being
too mother of the bride.
- Eh-eh, remember, we're gonna
get Sachin to like us
and then tell him
about the engagement.
And then we're gonna tell him
about the wedding.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The big reveal.
NINA: Indeed.
Also, just so you know,
he's posh.
- Ooh.
- No.
I mean English posh.
DIANE:
Ah.
I get it, mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- So we have to be lessyou.
- Cool.
- Less.
DIANE: Cool.
- Is it cool?
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
[Sighs]
[items clattering]
CHEF:
Get the fuck out!
BO:
Yes, Chef.
But I-I'm only leaving
'cause I wanted to.
- Bo.
- Nina. Nina.
- What were you doing
in the kitchen?
Is that mezcal?
I know what that means.
- No
NINA: Mm-hmm, it means
you've had a fight with Hilda.
- She's always trying
to change me.
But listen,
it is different this time
NINA:
Mm-mm.
- 'Cause I told her
where to go.
Bye.
- It's not different.
It's the same.
You have a fight with Hilda,
you get off your tits
on mezcal,
and then you become
a liability.
Why have you done this tonight?
- Ah! You always told me
to speak my mind.
- Yeah, I do say that a lot.
- Is his dad here yet?
- Yes.
And he has the world's
tiniest glasses,
and I'm not allowed
to talk about it.
No.
BO: Let me at him.
I'll be a right
charming bastard.
- Absolutely not.
BO: [scoffs]
AMBER:
I don't care, Gina.
I'm not your therapist.
NINA: Amber.
- Yep?
BO: [groans]
- Amber.
- I'm on the clock, Nina.
- Amber, my brother
is very drunk,
and you need to sober him up.
Do not let him
out of your sight.
Please help me, Amber.
You're my only hope.
- Fine.
If you really need me.
NINA: Great.
BO: Did you watch the Rangers
and Celtic last night?
- Um, no.
- You must be
an important cunt,
because I've been told
not to tell
any of my good stories.
- Dad!
- Ach, he knows
I don't mean anything by it,
don't you, pal?
- Sachin is a well-respected
art critic.
ADE: Oh.
- He can kill a show at
Art Basel with a single look.
- For my sins.
- [With English accent]
Art "Basil"? I love it there.
SACHIN:
"Bah-sel."
- English accent?
What the fuck?
SACHIN:
It's not what it used to be.
When did you go?
- Um, well, I mean, I, uh
I meant to go.
- Adrian is something
of an artist, Dad.
- Ah.
What is your medium?
- Benches.
- That's unusual.
What does your work say?
- Well, Sachin, when my
furniture starts talking to me,
I know I've inhaled
too much varnish.
[Laughter]
- Reel it in.
What are you working on,
Sachin?
- Well, I've become
quite interested
in decoupage
in recent years.
- Well, life begins at 60.
- I'm 51.
- [Inhales sharply]
- So decoupage is, um
Um
- Evie, I need to go
to the bathroom,
and I struggle
with all the buttons
on this big boiler suit.
Will you come with me, please?
- Uh-huh.
NINA: OK, awesome.
♪
- [gasps]
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Oh.
[Exhaling forcefully]
[squeaking]
- Evie, you need
to pull yourself together.
- I can't.
I can't.
Oh, my, it's too much.
It's toothe handshake.
I shook his thumb.
[Laughs]
I shook his thumb.
Nina, who does that?
Do you think he noticed?
- Yeah, I think
he probably did.
- I'm normally so good
with parents.
And what is going on
with Mum and Dad?
- Evie, I have not mentioned
that man's tiny glasses
one time,
and it is all I want to do.
We have put our personalities
in a box, aside,
for you to impress this man.
Now, if I can do it
and I'm literally autistic.
Then you can do it.
You've got this.
- I can do this.
- You do this.
- I can do this.
- You can do this.
There is nobody better at being
fake in a social situation
than you, babe.
- Thank you.
That means a lot.
- You're welcome.
- Where's Bo?
- Eeh.
He had a fight with Hilda.
- Oh, my God.
- No, don't worry.
I've got it all under control.
I'm holding down the fort.
Everything's gonna be fine.
EVIE: Yeah.
- You're gonna
go back in there.
We're gonna get
a round of drinks.
- Yeah.
- You're gonna
kick it in the dick,
not literally
'cause we'll get arrested.
Yes, we're gonna
knock 'em dead. Come on.
- Yeah. I'm ready.
NINA: OK.
- Let's do it.
NINA: OK. Here we go.
She's a raging bull.
[Both grunt]
- Can I get another round
of drinks, please?
Where's Bo?
- Peek-a-Bo!
- Oh.
You let him behind the bar.
Amber.
- I've got it under control,
you silly goose.
If you're gonna be Evie's MOH,
you have to chill out.
Here, have some
of our cherry crémant
in a special baseless glass.
- [Sniffs]
- [laughs]
It can't be done.
That's not possible.
- Fuck me, Nina,
this is brutal.
I mean, none of my
bench stories are landing.
Mm!
Is this lighter fluid?
- No, it's cherry crémant.
- How can I be someone else?
This is all I've got.
- Just do what I do.
Just take all of your
bad feelings and thoughts
and push them down in
a little ball in your stomach.
Like, I think about
Sachin's tiny, tiny glasses
and just push it down.
And then when I get home,
I scream into my pillow.
[Sighs]
- Oh, is that what you
were doing in your bedroom?
- Yes.
- [Chuckles]
- That fails,
just agree with him.
- With everything he says?
Even if I don't agree?
- Mm-hmm.
Just tilt your head and smile
and say, I agree.
Men love it when you do that.
- All right.
NINA: And fix your tie.
You look like
a pervert professor.
SACHIN: Well, yes,
this generation is impulsive.
I always say it.
- Very impulsive,
this generation.
I completely agree with you.
And I was about
to say that same thing.
RANESH: But it can be good
to be impulsive
Sometimes.
Follow your heart.
SACHIN:
Oh, come on, Ranesh.
Use your critical faculties.
It's this sort of thinking
that got you catfished.
- Sandra said she really needed
that small business loan.
- It's all this living from
one dopamine hit to the next.
- One dopamine hit
to the next, exactly.
We always say that,
don't we, Di?
- Good heavens, yes.
Heavens, heavens.
- Taking the plunge.
- Walking on a knife edge.
SACHIN:
Exactly.
What's the need?
- No need.
- No need.
- Anyway, Ranesh?
- Yes. Yes.
So, Daddy, Evie and I,
we've got something
we'd like to tell you.
[Chuckles nervously]
- We went to London.
- The Big Smoke.
- He took me up The Shard,
and we went
to the Tate Modern. Art!
And we saw the one with, um,
thethe lines
and thethe colors.
It was thethe, mm
The Rothko.
[Chuckles]
It's called the Rothko.
- Is that it?
I thought for a second
you were going to tell me
that you're engaged.
[Laughs]
[laughter]
Oh, I wouldn't put
anything past Ranesh.
- Six weeks and then engaged,
oh, that would be
That would be wild.
- I thought I was a Gemini,
but I think
I'm on the cusp of Taurus.
Wait, what's that new one
they invented?
- Jellyfish.
- [Laughs]
People call me that
all the time.
I sting people
if they get too close.
- [Chuckles]
Hilda's a Gemini,
but I'm a Scorpio,
and they're, like,
incompatible with Geminis.
So she made me a Libra.
- Fuck that.
Fuck changing ourselves
for love.
We should live our truth.
- Live our truth.
- Yeah.
Break away from the binds
of tradition.
Like Malala before us.
Or Harry and Meghan.
[Laughs]
Wait, we've also been banished
by your family,
forced to live in the shadows.
But we will not
stand for it anymore.
Evie needs me.
- Let's Megxit those dobbers.
- You are so funny.
Evie never told me
she had a brother.
- A big brother.
- Such an interesting job
you have, Sachin.
- It has its moments.
ADE: Ah, Bo.
- Oh.
DIANE: Oh, my gosh.
- What is he doing?
- I told Amber
to look after him.
AMBER: We're not gonna be
in the shadows anymore.
- The big cheese.
I'm Bo.
I'm Evie's brother.
But she probably
hasn't said that
'cause she's
embarrassed of me.
EVIE:
[laughs]
I'm so glad you two
have finally met.
Ah.
Bo, why don't you go
and sort yourself out?
- I'm fine.
I'm just
I'm just feeling
a bit worse for the wear.
Had aa fight
with my girlfriend.
You know how that is.
She's a bit
But don't worry, Evie.
I won't invite her to your
big wedding next month.
ADE:
Fuck's sake.
- What?
What wedding?
- Oops.
RANESH: Dad, we, um
We were going to tell you.
- It's something to celebrate.
Crémant?
- Oh, he doesn't drink, Amber!
- Oh!
Not my white shirt.
- Enzymes. Enzymes.
White wine.
- Oh!
- Fuck's sake, dab it.
NINA: Dab, dab, dab.
- Get off me!
Who are you people?
Right.
Well, I'll just
- No, wait.
Um, if you want to know
who we are
Mum isn't English.
Dad sells garden furniture.
Bowell,
Bo's always like that.
He's very damaged.
And Ranesh doesn't wear
cowboy trilbies.
And Evie is my sister.
And she's a really great
and thoughtful
and creative person.
And she once shat her pants
in a nightclub in Zante.
And they were white hot pants,
and Mum tried to get them clean
using baking soda,
but she just
spread it everywhere,
and it was such a mess.
And I'm not supposed
to tell that story.
I don't know why
'cause it's a fun story.
And it makes me happy
to tell it.
And we have spent
this entire evening
pretending to be people
we're not
to try and get you to like us,
which doesn't make any sense
because you're not very nice.
And I need to know,
why are your glasses so tiny?
- Well, I, um
I think they make me look
more interesting than I am.
NINA:
Oh.
Well, fair enough.
SACHIN: Thank you
for your honesty, I guess.
You know, uh,
I once shat my pants
at the Biennale.
[Laughter]
It was everywhere.
[Laughter]
- I don't actually work here.
SACHIN: Well, son,
congratulations are in order.
ADE:
More crémant, anyone?
[Indistinct chatter]
[soft music]
[Doors hiss]
[device beeps]
[doors hiss]
- Oh, hi.
Oh.
Oh.
Just bashed my coccyx.
- What?
- Uh, I just
Well, no, it'sah.
- I was thinking about
your double foam latte name.
- Oh, jeez.
That.
- Foamward Bound.
- [Snorts]
Foamward
- I like that.
That's, uhthat's fun.
- I know.
LEE: The rest were just filth.
- I know you said that we have
to dress up to get along.
But dressing up only works
for a wee bit of time,
and thenthen you just have
to be yourself, you know?
You can'tyou can't hide
who you are forever.
You can't go about
catfishing people
for the rest of your life.
I think you should be honest
off the bat.
I think straightaway,
you should say, I'm weird,
andand not pretend.
- Yeah.
- So do you want to go with me
to get aa not-hot beverage
at some point soon?
- A cold beverage?
- Yes.
- Wow.
Um
Well, yeah, yeah, OK.
- OK.
LEE: [laughs]
Wow.
[Laughs]
Let's do it.
- Cool.
- Oh.
[Robin Adams'
"Sun Behind the Storm"]
ROBIN ADAMS: If we are beaten
by the weather ♪
And if our days
have grown cold ♪
We would do better
to remember ♪
There's always sun
behind the storm ♪
If we are clouded
by the darkness ♪
And if our heart's
too blind to see ♪