Doctor Who: Tales of the TARDIS (2023) s01e02 Episode Script
The Mind Robber
1
DOCTOR WHO THEME
Where the devil am I?
I think it's a TARDIS.
Oh, I think it's THE TARDIS!
In a manner of speaking.
Zoe?
Hello, Jamie!
Zoe!
Oh! Oh, Jamie, Jamie!
You remember! Of course I remember.
Mind you, I forgot for so long.
Well, they made us forget,
the Time Lords,
when we left the Doctor.
They erased our memories.
But in here, it's all back.
Every adventure, every story,
every single moment!
Aye, but how did we get here?
And where's the Doctor?
Oh, he'll be out there somewhere
in the stars.
But I don't think this is for him.
I think this is meant for us.
Oh.
I've missed him every day of my life.
But I didn't realise it.
What they did to us was
unforgivable.
And I think we've been brought here
to undo it.
One last gift from the Doctor.
I'd still be with him now if I could.
Try to keep up with him.
Oh, don't you have a family? Aye.
Five daughters. Oh!
Legs hairier than mine
and 19 grandchildren.
19?! Aye, not so wee any more.
Well, I have a son.
A scientist.
I named him James.
Aafter me?
I never realised before, but
Well, of course after you! Oh.
Did you marry a man from
the space Wheel?
No, no. We met on Earth
in Australia.
Ha! I've been there.
Got shot at.
Oh, we got shot at all the time.
Aye.
But look at you.
Ever so noble.
Oh, presidential robes,
thank you very much.
This is my third inauguration.
President? Mm-hm.
The Doctor would be so proud.
Isn't it funny,
all the things he showed us,
and taught us,
I've been using them every single
day of my life
without realising?
All those experiences
were at the back of my mind,
pushing me forwards.
Me too.
Do you think we'll ever see
the Doctor again?
Oh, I'm not sure.
But we keep him alive
by telling our stories.
WHOOSHING
Oh. So, we tell our stories
to each other
and to our families.
Yes. Pass them down,
generation after generation.
Ah, well, where do we begin?
And don't say Cybermen.
I want to forget about the Cybermen.
SHE CHUCKLES
OK.
Er The Krotons.
No! The Quarks.
The Quarks, aye.
The wee metal beasties.
And didn't the TARDIS get swallowed
by lava?
Yes!
And then things got worse.
That's right.
I remember now.
Oh, my word! Come on,
Jamie. Into the TARDIS. Quickly.
Isn't it beautiful? Eh?
The volcanic eruption.
It's beautiful. Beautiful?
A great river of molten lava
rolling down
Quiet. Oh. Oh, dear.
Is something wrong? This sort
of thing has happened before.
The fluid links don't seem to be
able to take the load.
Oh, oh! Mercury vapour.
Well, we can't stay here.
We'll be buried by that lava.
It's nearly on us, look!
Oh, my word! What a wonderful sight.
Fantastic.
Listen, will you two stop gaping
at that and get us out of here.
Don't worry, Jamie.
We're safe in the TARDIS.
Are you sure? Well
Has the TARDIS ever been buried
up to its neck in lava before?
Well, no. How can you be so sure
we're going to be all right?
Well, perhaps the fluid links
have cooled down by now.
That's a bit more power.
Zoe, can you read off
what that meter
is registering, please?
Reading 987.3 Yes.
.4, .5 Oh, no.
6
It's jumped to 991. It's going up
by numerals. Oh, no!
If I can't pull this down,
we'll get stuck.
That stupid, idiotic
Doctor, the lava's up to the TARDIS.
It's reached the 1,000 danger mark,
Doctor.
If only I could unstick
this stupid, idiotic
There we are.
Have you done it? Are we on our way?
It's stopped the fluid links from
vaporising. We shan't suffocate.
If you don't hurry up and get us
out of here,
we'll be fried by that lava!
Isn't there any way we can get away?
Well, there is an emergency unit,
but
Oh, no, I can't possibly use that.
But this is an emergency.
But it moves the TARDIS
out of the time-space dimension,
out of reality. Fine.
Reality's getting too hot, anyway.
Oh, all right.
Here we are.
Now, then, which end was?
Yes
No, look, I can't possibly use this.
We don't know what will happen.
Will you stop your jabbering
and get on with it. Look!
METALLIC THRUMMING
SONIC PULSES
Ah. There you are.
We're all right.
What was all the panic about?
Is there any reading
on the meter, Zoe?
Yes, it's
Well, that's funny.
There's no reading at all.
No. None of the meters
are registering.
Not one.
But we're safe. We're out of that
lava stuff and we're all right here.
Yes, possibly.
I'd better get working
on the TARDIS controls right away.
Doctor, we're not actually
in flight, are we?
No. Why?
Well, then, presumably,
we've landed,
so why isn't the scanner
showing anything?
Well, because
Well, we're nowhere.
It's as simple as that.
I'll be in the power room, Jamie.
Right.
Hey! What does he mean,
we're nowhere?
I don't know.
I suppose he means that outside
the TARDIS now is nothing.
Just nothing.
Well, I'm away to change,
and I suggest you do the same.
You look like a wee McLarty.
A what?
A ragamuffin. A Oh, never mind.
Doctor?
What's happened?
Nothing. It's all exactly
the same. Good, good.
You're worried by something,
Doctor, what is it?
Me, worried? No.
It's only the unknown
that worries me, Zoe.
But if there's nothing outside
the TARDIS and we're nowhere,
then what is there to worry about?
I don't know.
The emergency unit is limited
to a certain time, simply because
Because it's dangerous to stay
where we are for any longer, yes.
But we must be safe at the moment,
otherwise the unit
wouldn't let us stay here, would it?
You're interested in what's outside
the TARDIS now, aren't you?
Well, curious, yes.
Zoe, listen to me.
If we move outside the TARDIS,
we step into a dimension
about which we know nothing.
We shall be at the mercy
of the forces, outside time
and space as we know it.
But, Doctor, I still think
we should go out and see
Zoe, we must stay in the TARDIS.
BAGPIPE MUSIC
He's still got his head
stuck in that
Zoe, do you see that?
Do you see where we are? What?
Look, on the scanner. It's my home.
It's Scotland. Scotland? Aye.
Oh! It was there.
Oh, yeah.
Now, look, I'm not seeing things.
It was there, I tell you. Really?
Aye. The mist
must have covered it over.
You get a lot of mist
in the Highlands.
So you think we've landed, then?
Yes. I couldn't have seen anything,
could I?
Oh, just a minute.
What?
There's a wee gadget on here
somewhere that warns you
to go elsewhere
if there's any danger.
No, no. It's definitely switched
off. We've landed.
Well, I think it's more likely
that you saw
It can't be, Jamie.
Aye, it's switched off, all right.
It's the city.
My home.
Jamie, you did see something,
but it wasn't Scotland.
Of course it was.
Look, I know Scotland when I see it.
And I know my home city.
Anyway, there's your proof.
Uh-huh.
But I don't understand.
It was there.
Yeah, I know, Scotland!
No. It was quite plainly
Anyway, we've both seen something,
so that proves we've landed,
doesn't it?
Yes.
Let's go out and see.
Now, not without the Doctor.
Oh, all right. Aye.
It is! Jamie, Doctor,
it is my home.
Oh, come on.
Now, which one?
Oh, come on.
No, we definitely saw something.
But, Jamie, it's not poss
You say you both saw
different things?
No, it was definitely Scotland.
Zoe thought she saw something
else - her home city or something,
but, no, it was very misty
and she couldn't have seen right.
So you both saw your homes?
No, Doctor. I'm saying that
Zoe? Oh, my word!
Zoe, Zoe!
I told her to wait.
I'll go and get her.
No, Jamie. Don't you see?
Those pictures that you and Zoe saw
on the scanner were put there.
Obviously put there to tempt you
to go outside.
Who by? I don't know.
But there's someone or something
out there
that wants us to go out of
the TARDIS.
You mean, some kind of danger?
I don't know.
BEEPING
Oh. Oh, no.
That's the first warning.
There isn't much more time.
But, Zoe, we can't leave her
out there. I'll go and find her.
No, Jamie. No.
Jamie! Jamie!
LOUDER ALARM SOUNDS
Oh! Oh, no.
WHOOSHING
Who are you?
Who are you?
Where are you?
What do you want with me?
No
No, I must fight.
I must fight.
I will fight.
Jamie! Doctor, where are you?
Zoe!
Zoe.
Jamie. I thought I was lost
for good. Aye.
It's funny out here, isn't it?
It's not the mist
that we thought it was. It's
Opaque. Nothingness.
Just like the Doctor said.
It doesn't feel right, though.
Come on, back to the TARDIS.
Is that the right way?
Of course it's the right way.
Oh! No, it could be
Oh! We're lost, aren't we?
No, I wouldn't say that.
We're just
Well, the
We're just a
Do you want to know something?
What?
I think we're lost.
This isn't a joke, Jamie.
No, you're right.
The Doctor was saying that those
images we saw on our scanner
..were put here to tempt us out.
Well, if somebody was trying
to tempt us away, where are they?
And who are they?
Aye. Aye, well, let's not be in too
much of a hurry to find that out.
What are we going to do?
The TARDIS can't be that far away.
No, if we stand here and shout for
the Doctor, when he hears us,
he can guide us back.
Doctor!
Doctor, can you hear us?
Doctor. Doctor.
Answer if you can hear us.
No, I will fight.
I will fight.
Oh, Jamie, this is hopeless.
We could be going round in circles.
Aye.
You know, I've got a funny feeling
that we're being watched.
Do you not feel it too?
Yes.
Can you see anyone?
No. No-one at all.
Jamie, look.
What is it?
It's very faint,
but I think it's my home again.
Zoe, it's a trick. You know it is.
Oh, Jamie, it's gone.
That proves it, doesn't it?
A city like that
doesn't just disappear, does it?
But it is out there.
It's not, Zoe. You know it isn't.
No, I know.
For a moment, I thought it was real.
It was almost as though I was seeing
what I most wanted to see.
Jamie, you're right.
We've got to get away.
Jamie?
BAGPIPE MUSIC
Jamie, it's not real.
I know, but it's there.
No, Jamie, it's not.
I must
No, Jamie, no.
Oh! Why did you do?
BAGPIPES STOP
Oh, the Doctor's right.
There is something or someone
trying to tempt us away. Aye.
What are they?
I don't know,
but they don't look very friendly.
Oh!
ZOE SCREAMS
Jamie, Zoe, don't go.
Don't go.
Follow them.
Follow and save them.
Who are you? What do you want?
Follow them.
No. I won't. I won't give in.
You will. You will.
You will.
ZOE SCREAMS
There is still time.
Save them.
Save them.
I can't let it happen.
I can't.
Jamie?
Zoe?
Jamie, Zoe,
concentrate only on my words.
Think of me. Think of the TARDIS.
They are the only real things here.
Everything else is unreality.
It is only in your minds.
Now, concentrate.
Come to me now. Now.
Walk straight to the TARDIS.
Don't stop.
Come on.
Keep walking to the TARDIS.
Come on.
Don't look behind you.
Now go in. Go in.
Jamie. Zoe.
Go in before it's too late.
Go in.
Go in.
Doctor, what's been happening?
Sh, Jamie. Quiet.
Oh, how do you feel?
What happened? Where have we been?
Nowhere. But
All mental images, Jamie.
Pure imagination.
Why? What's all this about?
I don't know.
We've got to be careful. We've
got to be very, very careful now.
Careful? We're safe enough back
in the TARDIS, aren't we?
Yes, possibly.
WHINING NOISE
What's that?
I don't know. It's not the TARDIS
going wrong again?
No, no. We're on our way, all right,
but the trouble is
I don't know where to.
That's not unusual.
Tell me when we get there.
I'm sorry, Doctor. It was my fault.
I shouldn't have gone outside.
It's all right, Zoe. I don't think
you could help it. Why not?
I think whoever it was
that was tempting you outside
made it irresistible.
Why! Even I gave in
when the voice said
What voice?
I don't know.
Perhaps there wasn't one.
Perhaps it was just illusion.
But we are safe now?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
The TARDIS is performing
quite normally. That's odd.
What? Well, this meter's
dropped below 1,000.
Is that critical?
It means we're using more power
than we're storing.
But don't worry. We've got an
emergency power booster unit
somewhere, if I can find the switch.
No. Oh, dear.
It's here somewhere.
STRANGE SONIC NEIGHING
Ah! Found it? Yes.
Yes, that's the one.
Now, just a little bit more power.
Read off the meter for me,
will you, Zoe?
Reading 990 Yes.
1 Good. 2 Fine.
3 Agh!
Quiet, Jamie.
What's been happening? 4
Yeah. Steady at 4.
Oh, no. Is something wrong?
5. Good. 6 Fine.
7, 8 Let it creep up now.
I don't want to blow
the fluid links again.
Just had the most peculiar dream.
There was this big white horse
with a horn
right in the middle of his head
A unicorn? Aye. Probably.
He was charging straight towards me.
9 8 Head down, ready for the
kill. I thought any moment!
Really, Jamie, your imagination
is
What's the matter?
I don't Jamie, look.
Doctor? Mm. What's up?
Quiet, Jamie. Quiet.
VIBRATING THROB
That sound.
That vibration. It's alien.
I can feel it too. In my head.
I can't seem to be able
to concentrate.
Concentrate, both of you.
Concentrate on something.
I can't! What is it? Read out
the figures to me, Zoe, aloud.
9, 9, 1
Louder. Both of you,
read them off.
2, 3
It's getting stronger. It's
3. 4
It's dragging me.
Concentrate. Both of you.
5 It's too strong.
It's too powerful. 6
7 It's too powerful.
I must fight I must fight
I will fight!
Jamie, the Doctor.
SHE SCREAMS
Doctor?
Zoe.
What's happened?
Jamie! Jamie, over here!
Zoe? Is that you?
Redcoats.
Am I back in my own time?
If I am, they'll shoot me down.
Shoot me down like a dog, would you?
Well, a McCrimmon never died
without a fight yet.
Creag an tuire!
Jamie? Jamie!
Jamie, I'm here.
Where are you?
Jamie, can you hear me?
Jamie
Jamie, Doctor, help.
Somebody help me. I'm trapped.
DOOR CREAKS LOUDLY
SHE SCREAMS
Good. Good. Excellent.
And now the good Doctor,
where is he?
Look around.
He must be here somewhere.
Find him. Search.
I see. He has eluded us for
the moment.
So he is not yet
completely under my control.
Perhaps it is better this way.
Yes.
He'll soon find out.
Find him. Search all areas!
Jamie, Zoe Jamie
Fight I must fight.
I must fight, fight!
Where in time and space am I?
Where are the others?
Jamie? Zoe?
Doctor. Hello!
Jamie, is that you?
Jamie! Doctor!
Zoe?
Doctor, I'm trapped! Help me,
please!
All right, Zoe. Stay where you are
and I'll see if I can find you.
Hello?
Call out to me.
Here! Over here!
Yes, all right, Jamie.
Hello, Doctor! I'm over here.
All right, Zoe.
OVERLAPPING SHOUTS
No, no, no!
Not both together. One at a time.
Now, then, Jamie,
you seem to be the nearer.
You first. Count up to ten.
One, two, three, four
Find him. Search. Search!
Perhaps some light will help.
This is like exploring a maze in the
dark.
Well, thank you, whoever you are.
HEAVY MARCHING
Spread out. Cover the whole area,
slowly.
Keep moving. Look left to right.
Search every inch of the forest.
We know the Doctor is here
somewhere.
Hm. No sign of him,
but he can't be far away.
We'll continue on this course.
Track him down! Those are your
orders! He must be found!
Jamie. Zoe.
Heckinah degul.
Tolgo fonac.
Langro dehul san?
Grildig? Splacknuck?
Yes, er Parlez-vous francais?
Recalsitrat undique tutis!
Glandack daytan!
Do you speak English, by any chance?
Sir, my birth was of honest parents
in an island called England.
Good gracious me.
Why didn't you say so at once?
I've spoken as many languages
as I have the least smattering of.
High and Low Dutch. Latin.
Well, let's start at the beginning
again, shall we?
What did you say to me?
I said, "Beware, false traitor,
highwayman,
"robber, pickpocket, murderer."
You must be making some mistake.
Highwayman, indeed.
When were you last in England?
We set sail from Bristol
on May 4th 1699.
We? What became of my companions
I cannot tell. They were all lost.
My dear sir,
you and I are in the same boat.
You have a stout ship?
Unfortunately, no.
Would you take that pop gun away?
It does unsettle me so.
Well, sir, if you can assure me
you are no traitor.
How can I be a traitor
when I don't even know where I am?
Where am I?
I cannot tell.
That makes two of us, doesn't it?
Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.
Listen, I've lost my companions,
too.
Two of them, a boy and a girl. Jamie
and Zoe.
Have you seen them? Alas, no.
I've got to find them.
Perhaps you could help me
if you know your way around.
It is not permitted. Who says so?
The Master. The Master?
He has articles of impeachment
against you
for treason and other capital
crimes.
Treason again? Really?
I leave to your prudence
what measures you will take,
and now, sir, to avoid suspicion
..I must retire
in as private a manner as I came.
But, sir, don't go. I wanted to ask
you
A hallucination?
Ah, well.
Jamie!
Zoe!
Cooee. Is that you, Zoe?
Cooee. Who's that? Who are you?
Well Well, well, well, well,
well!
How do you do?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
This isn't the time for riddles.
You must answer.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Very well. To get to the other side.
Or so I've always been led to
believe. Now would you mind telling
me
Which is it, the yolk of an egg
is white or the yolk of an egg are
white?
Neither. It's yellow.
How many beans make five? Where was
Moses when the lights went out?
Adam and Eve and Pinch Me
went to the river to bathe.
Adam and Eve got drowned.
Who do you think was saved?
Well, Pinch Me, obviously.
THEY GIGGLE
Stop it. Don't do that.
Now it's my turn to ask you
questions.
What can you make of a sword? Huh?
What can you make of it?
Rearrange it. Think.
This is your last chance.
S-W-O-R-D. Rearrange.
S-W-O-R-D
Rearranged it makesW-O-R-D-S.
Words.
THEY CHEER
It's a dictionary. Words.
You have answered correctly.
You may be suitable. Suitable?
I do hope so. Come on. It's teatime.
I'm hungry. Race you home.
Words
Doctor, over here.
Jamie?
Jamie? Is that you?
Ah! Jamie.
It's just another trick.
Hello
What's this?
A safe?
Locked, of course.
And a wishing well.
I wish
I wish I believed in wishing wells.
MUTTERING FROM WELL
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Hello.
This is a puzzle. That's what it is.
Oh, yes.
I'm beginning to recognise this.
It's sort of picture writing.
Let me see now.
Jamie.
Mist.
Mist without the M or the T.
I-S. Is.
Hand without the H. And.
So we have "Jamieis
"safe andwell."
Oh! Oh, now I've lost his face!
Hello.
Oh, I see.
I'm supposed to provide the face,
am I? Mm-hm.
Very well. Now, then.
Yes. There we are.
Yes, that's his nose all right.
And
Here. Yes
Oh, no. I've done it wrong.
Doctor.
Oh, I'm glad to see you again!
But you're not Jamie. Eh?
MASTER CHUCKLES
What are you on about?
Well, your face, it's different.
What do you mean, different?
Look in the mirror.
That's not my face! It's the
one you're stuck with for now.
Why should I suddenly be different?
I don't know.
It's a nasty trick played by the
person who brought us here.
Brought us here? What's happening?
I don't know. Just a minute, if you
really are Jamie,
you should know what's happened.
How did you get here?
Well, you know, I was describing
my dream with a unicorn.
Yes.
He was charging straight for me,
head down, ready for the kill,
when suddenly everything went
crazy and I was off.
Off? Where to?
Where have you been?!
In the fog. Really.
Ever since the TARDIS broke up.
It did what?
Broke up. It fell to bits.
The next thing I knew, I was here.
I heard you calling,
but couldn't find you.
Jamie, help!
Zoe, where are you?
I'm trapped. You must help me!
It sounds as if she's over there.
Come on, then!
Zoe!
I can't get out. Help me, please.
There's no handle.
There's no lock either.
Don't you see?
It's not a door at all.
It's a brick wall
with a door painted on it.
That's crazy. How do you open a door
that isn't a door?
Let me think.
What's the good of thinking? What we
want is a battering ram.
When is a door not a door?
Och, this is no time for riddles.
No, no.
When is a door not a door, hmm?
When it's ajar. Eh?
Get me out.
Get me out! Oh, get me out!
Oh, Zoe.
THEY LAUGH
Get me out.
Not unless you promise to be
a good girl.
Oh, you
Go on. Get her out.
Come on, then. Up you come.
One, two, three
I thought I was never
going to get out of Who are you?
Don't you start, Zoe.
I've had enough from the Doctor.
I'm me.
Jamie.
Why does he look so different?
Well, I'llI'll tell you later.
It's time we got out of this wood.
Aye. This place gives me the
creeps.
You go on ahead, Jamie.
Is that really Jamie?
Wellwell, yes.
He couldn't just have changed like
that. It's impossible.
I think we may be in a place where
nothing is impossible. Come on.
Oh, my feet ache. I'm going to
sit down and have a rest.
If only we could see over these
trees.
If you give me a leg-up,
I'll shin up one.
Yes. Good idea.
Up you go.
Can you manage? I think so.
It's a bit tricky, but
Nearly there. There's a foothold.
I'm at the top.
Doctor
What is it? Can you see something?
I can see all right.
Do you know what this tree is?
No. What?
It's a letter S.
The next one's an L,
and then an O and a W
It's a forest of words.
This must be a world of words.
What do the words say?
"Slow but sure"
"..in for a penny"
In for a pound.
They're all sayings, proverbs.
"Look before you leap."
I can't read any more. Never mind
that. Can you see a way out?
I think so
Yes. Yes.
Down you come. There's a foothold.
Can you manage?
Steady.
There.
It's this way.
Oh, Doctor. It's all right,
don't worry.
I've met this gentleman before.
He's a traveller like ourselves.
Delighted to meet you again, sir.
Allow me to present my two
companions.
This is Zoe
..and this is Jamie.
How do you do, sir? We're trying
to get out of this wood.
This resolution may appear
very bold and dangerous.
But we've got to get away.
Haven't you ever tried to escape?
No. I looked upon myself
to be fully settled for life.
These tests, what's the point of
them?
In choosing persons for all
employments,
they have regard to great abilities.
A course of study
is required to qualify
any man for the service of his
country.
But who's in charge here?
Who's setting all these tests for
us? The Master.
The Master again.
I suppose this army of robots
works for the Master as well.
Army? As to their military affairs,
I knew not what they meant.
Surely you've seen them.
I knew not what they meant.
Ah, now, but surely?
RHYTHMIC MARCHING
That's the sound they make.
They're coming back.
What do we do?
We hide! In among the trees.
There's a J. There's room for two.
Thank goodness there's a letter C.
You, sir! Aren't you going to take
cover?
The best expedient
I could think on was to keep guard.
Whatever you do, don't give us away.
I could not forbear smiling, sir.
What you told me is mistaken.
There was no army here.
At last. Very well.
Round them up and lead them
away.
You have your orders!
You know what to do!
Thank you very much.
Why did you give us away?
But I said there was no army here.
MARCHING CONTINUES
Jamie, Zoe, don't you see?
As far as he's concerned,
they don't exist. He can't see them.
Now, sir, I must forbear to trouble
you further.
Having answered the only
objection you've raised against me,
I now take leave of you all. Sir.
Wait a bit.
I think the soldiers want us
to go in the other direction.
Doctor, these soldiers
Am I mad, or do they look like toy
soldiers?
Yes. Particularly dangerous toys,
too. Come along. Let's go.
MARCHING STOPS
They've stopped.
Why have they brought us here?
We shall soon find out.
Mission is accomplished.
It's so dark.
I've got a funny sort of a feeling
I've been here before.
Sh!
RUMBLING
Listen.
Sounds like a horse galloping.
It's getting nearer.
It's coming this way.
WHINNYING
It's not a horse. Look!
A unicorn. My dream! It's looking at
us. Keep quite still.
It's coming straight for us. Run!
No! We don't stand a chance.
Stand still.
Hold your ground! Doctor! Come on!
This is my dream!
No! Stand still.
But we haven't got a chance!
Don't you see?
It's my dream all over again!
It's real!
No, it's not real. It's a legend.
You mustn't believe in it.
You mustn't!
Say it doesn't exist. Say it!
It doesn't exist!
What What happened?
Another test.
But it was alive. We all saw it.
It was terrifying.
He challenged us to believe in it.
Who? The Master?
Whoever it is who's setting up
all these conjuring tricks.
But I don't understand.
The unicorn appeared to be real
until you said it wasn't.
Then we were safe.
But WE believed in it, Jamie and I.
Yes, that was just the danger.
Your belief was affecting ME.
Who would think up
a crazy notion like this?
I don't know.
A fantastic mind.
Too kind.
And if I may,
I'd like to return the compliment.
He's obviously supremely
intelligent.
He's learning the rules here
with admirable speed.
Yes, we were right to choose
the good Doctor.
Doctor. The soldiers!
RHYTHMIC CREAKING
Stop. Let them go.
Wherever they run, whatever they do,
every step they take
will only bring them nearer.
The trap is set.
Let them walk into it.
Oh, how much further?
There's no sign of the toy soldiers
now.
We've got to get out of this place.
Look.
There's a house.
You again. I'll sort you this time!
Creag an tuire!
SHO
Jamie!
Doctor!
Now, it's all right, Zoe, hmm?
FAINT THUDDING
Well, come on, come on.
If you want to play games,
let's get on with it.
ECHOING CHUCKLES
What's that? Well, I have
to make up his face again.
You did this before. Yes.
And that's how Jamie's face
got changed.
You got it all wrong!
What? No. No, no.
Well, I-I-I was rushed.
Now, then There we are.
All right, I know.
Uh There we are.
One
Now, then
Oh, yes, that's his nose.
You can't mistake his nose, can you?
And
DOCTOR CHUCKLES
Ah. There you are, you see.
Jamie! Jamie!
Thank goodness you're back.
Back? What do you mean, back?
I haven't been anywhere.
You've got your face back.
I have? Yes. Look.
You're right, I have.
That's much better.
Ah, the house. Yes. Come along.
Let's Let's go inside.
DOOR CREAKS
DOOR SLAMS SHU
Well, there must be somebody here.
These candles are alight.
Eurgh! Hello there!
ECHOING
One, two, three,
four tunnels leading off.
It'd be easy to get lost in there.
Just a moment.
What's he found?
Yes, a ball of twine.
Hmm. Oh, yes,
this must have been an invitation.
Why? It's the classical way
of getting through a maze.
Jamie, tie that to the door,
will you?
Hey, it's locked.
Then we ARE meant to go on.
Yes, I think we are.
But that means that wherever we go,
at any time, they know.
Yes. They're expecting us. Hmm.
Don't break the thread. Come along.
BEEPING
Ah, at last!
The Doctor is commendably prompt.
I wonder how long it will take him
to get to the heart
of the mystery.
Which way, do you think?
To the right.
They both look equally unattractive
to me.
It must be to the right.
I've been working it out
as we went along.
Doctor. Shush. How?
As soon as we avoided the dead ends,
it soon fell into a clear pattern.
One left, two right,
three left, four right and so on.
It's a simple
arithmetical progression.
Yes, but, Doctor Shh, Jamie.
What it is to have an arithmetical
brain, eh? What do you want?
The thread's run out.
Now, should we not go back?
No. You stay here, and Zoe and I
will explore a little further.
There must be another way
out of this maze. I need to find it.
See, they don't want us to find
a way out, only a way in!
WATER DRIPPING
HE WHISTLES
BEEPING
Go on. Go on!
You're almost there!
I was right. This isn't the way out.
We're in the middle of the maze.
Oh, Doctor, I don't like it.
Let's go. Just a moment.
I was rather expecting a welcoming
committee, but perhaps I was wrong.
Well, I hope you were.
Ah, yes, but there has been someone
here, not so long ago either. Look!
Oh! Oh
And there's some tracks
of an animal too.
Oh, Doctor, let's go.
CREATURE ROARS
It couldn't be. What?
Well, I know it's silly, but do you
remember the story of the Minotaur?
Half-man, half-bull, yes.
And he lived in the heart
of a labyrinth.
And there were human sacrifices.
Exactly, but I-I don't think
we need be too alarmed.
After all
CREATURE ROARS
As I was saying, as long
as we're quite certain
that the Minotaur is only a
Doctor, look!
ROARING
Doctor?
Are you all right? What's happening?
DISTANT ROARS
RHYTHMIC CREAKING
Oh, so that's how you can see,
is it?
With that wee lighthouse of yours.
No! Brainless idiot!
Get yourself free.
Don't let the boy escape.
Forward. Forward.
Doctor, it's moving.
It's coming closer!
ROARING
It's going to attack!
It's ait's a legend.
Another mythical beast,
like the unicorn!
But it's there! No!
The Minotaur is a mythical beast.
Say it!
The Minotaur is a mythical beast.
It doesn't exist!
It's gone.
Yes.
Yes, I'm afraid we made it
too difficult for it to stay.
Come on. Let's go and find Jamie.
I think this is the place. Yes.
There's no sign of him.
I'm sure he wouldn't have gone off
without
What's that? His jacket.
Well, he must be around here
somewhere. Jamie!
Who's that?
Oh! Oh, my dear sir!
Your servant, sir.
You have a knack of turning up
unexpectedly. Have you seen Jamie?
I walked alone
but saw no sign of any inhabitants.
Are you absolutely positive?
I would not impose
any falsities upon you.
I adhere strictly to truth.
Of course.
Thisthis person who controls
this place
The Master? The Master. Yes.
Have you seen him?
Upon occasion he has been pleased
to grant me an audience.
Where might I find him?
The Master's palace is
no ordinary edifice but a citadel,
a walled town
at the top of a hill or cliff,
which is reckoned the highest
in the kingdom.
Yes. Now I think I understand.
May I ask, sir, where you come from?
Would it not be Nottingham?
My father had a small estate
in Nottingham, sir.
I was the third of five sons.
He sent me to Emmanuel College
in Cambridge at 14 years old,
where I applied myself
close to my studies,
learning navigation and other parts
of the mathematics
"Useful for those who intend
to travel"
..as I always believed
it would be, some time or other,
my fortune to do.
Now I know who you are, sir!
Your name is Lemuel Gulliver.
Your servant, sir.
Gulliver? Yes, yes.
Oh, I'm looking forward to a long
talk with you one of these days.
I should like that above all things,
but
..it would not be proper
at this juncture to trouble you
with the particulars
of my adventures.
I wouldn't dream of detaining you.
Having been condemned by nature
and fortune
to a restless and active life,
I must take my leave of you.
Farewell. Farewell.
Why does he talk
in such an extraordinary way?
He can only speak the words
that Dean Swift gave him to say.
But that's ridiculous. I mean, there
never was such a person as Gulliver.
He's a fictional character.
Of course he is.
Don't you understand?
This world that we've tumbled into
is a world of fiction -
unicorns, Minotaurs,
Gulliver's Travels.
They're all alive here.
Then what are WE doing here?
What do they want with us?
I'm not sure I understand that yet.
Come along. Let's find Jamie.
You'd better put this on.
BIRDSONG
RHYTHMIC CREAKING
METALLIC SCRAPING
RHYTHMIC CREAKING CONTINUES
CREAKING STOPS
Oh, no.
I'd need to be a human fly
to get up that lot.
I can't go back, though.
What I really need is a
Who says wishes don't come true?
RHYTHMIC CREAKING
So far, so good.
Some sort of castle.
Well, Jamie, now where?
Well, you don't have much choice,
do you?
Ouch!
I suppose you know that hurts?
You mean this is your hair?
Of course.
I don't object to people climbing
it. I'm quite used to it, actually.
But you would keep tugging so.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Are you a prince? No. Why?
You're supposed to be.
I'm a princess,
but I suppose you knew that.
My name's Rapunzel. You're not
a woodcutter's son, by any chance?
No. I'm the son of a piper.
Oh, how very disappointing.
In that case, you'd better go.
Goodbye.
Oh, Your Highness, wait. Well?
I can't go back there.
It's a sheer drop.
And, well,
I can't just stand out here.
I'll have to climb in
through the window.
Oh, well, I don't know
if that would be allowed.
Well, I won't stay long.
Just passing through, you might say.
Please. It's a great pity
you're not a prince.
You'd have made rather a good one.
Well, I suppose
you'd better come inside.
But for goodness' sake, be quiet.
Rapunzel?
Your Highness, where have you gone?
Don't be silly. I'm not going
Hey, this doesn't look like
the inside
of a princess's castle to me.
"'Christmas won't be
Christmas without any presents,'
"grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.
"'It's so dreadful to be poor,'
sighed Meg, looking down at her"
HE TURNS MACHINE OFF
CLICKING
"The Doctor and Zoe
"..unable to find their companion
in the labyrinth,
"decided to return to the cave
in search of him,
"where a new terror awaited them."
I imagine there must be
at least one more test.
I wonder what it'll be.
I believe you're actually beginning
to enjoy all this.
That wasn't there before, was it?
A statue. Like the unicorn.
Yes,
only the unicorn was alive first
and then became a statue.
Only this time What?
Have a care, Zoe.
I have a feeling the situation
is going to be reversed.
It IS coming to life!
HISSING
Medusa!
CLICKING
"The Doctor and Zoe
"were face-to-face with Medusa.
"One glance from her eyes would
"..would turn them to stone!"
Now, we know what we have to do,
Zoe. Yes.
HISSING
She's moving.
She's going to look at us!
Zoe, we have to say,
"Medusa does not exist."
But she does!
Zoe, Medusa is a myth!
If you believe in her, she can turn
us BOTH to stone. Now, Zoe, say it.
The Medusa is a myth. Say it!
But she's alive! No!
She's real! No!
Don't look in her eyes! Don't look!
HISSING
The Medusa does not exist.
You must believe that.
I can feel her fingertips like ice!
No. That's marble.
Think of her as a marble statue.
A legend.
But she's real! I've got to look
at her! I've got to!
One glance from her eyes
would turn them to stone
..but all was not yet lost.
Suddenly, the Doctor found a sword
at his feet, picked it up
..and with one stroke slew the
monster.
A sword. You're meant to use it like
Perseus.
Maybe it's another trap.
Doctor, please!
No. How can I kill something
that doesn't exist?
I've got to open my eyes.
I've got to see.
Wait!
Perseus. Of course. A mirror.
There. Look at her reflection
in the mirror. Look.
Can you see her? Yes.
This is how Perseus escaped.
He looked at her reflection
in his polished shield.
There's no danger in the reflection.
It's safe now.
You can look now.
The statue has become a statue
again.
Cancel. Cancel. Cancel.
The Doctor test, report failure.
Failure?
ALARM SOUNDS
Attention. Attention. There is
a stranger inside the building.
Call out the search party.
Ah, the young traveller.
I had wondered.
Have you been sent to find me?
His companions were in a state of
anxiety about his whereabouts.
Companions! Zoe and the Doctor.
Where are they?
Safe and well. You've spoken to
them?
The gentleman desired to know
where I came from
and whither I was bound.
STATIC BUZZES
What's that?
I heard nothing.
Probably that search party.
By the laws of this kingdom,
every chamber must be searched.
If they find me, I'm done for.
You should be put to death.
What about you?
I should come to no harm.
If you give me away this time,
I'm finished!
I was ready with the hazard of my
life to defend his person.
Where have they gone?
Hm? The white robots.
Young sir, I do assure you,
there were no such persons here.
Aye. Robots or not,
I'm getting out of this place.
You desire your liberty!
Yes. I got in all right,
but how do I get out?
After some consideration,
I was of the opinion that
Go on, go on.
..this was altogether impossible.
Oh, yes. That's the citadel,
all right.
The question is, how do we get
up there?
It's a long way to climb.
ZAPPING
Zoe, duck.
The Karkus. You are my prisoners.
It's the Karkus. What?
Come out
and put ze hands above ze head.
You know. He's fictional too.
Obey or I fire.
With that thing? What sort of a gun
is that?
An anti-molecular ray
disintegrator.
Rubbish. Such a weapon
is scientifically impossible.
It doesn't exist.
Argh!
That seems to have taken
care of that.
I shall tear you limb from limb.
Doctor, be careful. He could do it.
The Karkus has superhuman strength!
You will be mincemeat.
Doctor, say it.
You know he's a fictional character!
But I've never heard of him!
THEY ALL SHOU
What are you doing?
Please, I'm sure we can talk this
over. Oh!
Argh!
Zoe. Lesson 17!
Be careful. Oh, dear.
Lesson 32.
GROWLING
Ah!
Oh!
Don't do anything rash.
YELLING
GROWLING
HE GROANS
Mercy. You'd better submit
The neck can't take much pressure.
Help!
Do you submit? I submit!
That's better.
I am your slave. Command me.
Do you know the way to the citadel?
I know it.
Take us up there,
there's a good chap.
I obey.
We all follow his adventures
in the "Hourly Telepress".
A strip cartoon of the year 2000?
You've been in the year 2000?
Yes, but I had no time to follow
cartoons.
You'd better start following this
one. He's halfway there. Come on!
Well, thank you, Mr
What did you say his name was?
K-A-R-K-U-S.
Oh, yes. Mr Karkus. Thank you.
We won't be needing you any longer.
Run along.
I obey.
Come along.
You can't just ring the bell.
Why not? It's the usual way.
BELL RINGS
Are you sure this is a good idea?
State your name and attribution.
I am the Karkus.
And your attribution? What's that?
Sh!
Year 2000 comic strip creation.
"The Hourly Telepress".
Authenticated. You may enter.
DOOR CREAKS
Come on! You heard them giving
orders to look for me.
Why do you suppose that happened?
These were orders given
by some person in authority.
The Master? It is possible.
Now I'm getting somewhere. Listen
If there aren't any robots,
who do you think was carrying out
those orders?
Who was I hiding from?
Why, sir, the Yahoos.
Who's the Yahoos?
Inferior creatures. I never beheld
so disagreeable an animal.
I haven't seen any Yahoos,
you haven't seen any robots
Jamie! Stay where you are.
There's an electrical gadget
that sets off an alarm.
The gong went off
and they sent robots after me.
Robots? The ones we saw before?
Big white ones, aye.
Doctor, did you hear that?
Yes. I thought they'd turn up.
It's a simple photo-electric cell.
I'd better lift you over it.
Careful, because Oh, my jacket.
What happened when you left the
tunnel? I was chased
by one of those tin soldiers.
I climbed up the cliff.
How do we get out? I'm not leaving
yet. I'm here on business.
The Doctor's going to see
the Master.
This resolution may appear bold
and dangerous.
You see? Why do you say that?
I think you should not be here.
The Master makes rules for his
kingdom. It is unwise to disobey.
So we shouldn't see the Master?
My advice is to swear
a peace with the Master.
Find a place to lodge, stay with the
expectation that things would mend.
Yes. Well, I'll see. I'll
think it over very carefully.
Your servant. Your servant.
Your servant.
You're not going to do as he says?
No.
I said I'd think it over.
I've thought it over. We're staying.
We'll be fighting in the dark!
We won't know where the
next attack will come from.
Medusa was bad enough. Ah, Medusa.
I read about that on this machine.
Wee words keep coming out of it.
Let's have a look.
There. Look.
Cancel The Doctor, test report -
failure
I'm beginning to understand.
I wish I was.
When somebody writes about
an incident after it's happened,
that is history. Yes
But when the writing comes first,
that's fiction.
If we'd have fallen into
the Master's trap,
we would have become fiction.
That's horrible. Let's get out of
here. Zoe, don't go
Not from there!
BEEP
Oh, no! TANNOY: Attention.
There are still strangers at large.
Renew the search.
The strangers must be found.
What are we going to do?
Gulliver walked through.
Gulliver is not real - we are.
They're coming. Where can we hide?
No need to hide. If they find us
STATIC BUZZES
Let them find us. Just wait?!
Yes. We'll ask for an interview
with the Master.
They may not give us time to
ask Look!
Are you looking for us?
STATIC BUZZES
We demand an interview with
the Master!
CHUCKLING
How very fortunate.
Do come in, Doctor.
I've been expecting you.
Oh, don't be alarmed.
Won't you walk into my parlour?
Said the spider to the fly
Come along.
It's hard to see anything.
Where are you?
Here. Patiently waiting.
Oh, Doctor.
This is a great pleasure.
And your two young companions.
Let me see. Oh, yes.
Zoe and Jamie.
I have your dossiers here.
You're well organised.
Yes. We have to be.
Running this place requires
enormous attention to detail.
It's a responsible position,
but very rewarding.
Responsible, eh?
To someone else?
Not to someone. Another power.
Higher than any you
could begin to imagine.
I must congratulate you
on the great skill
in which you tackled
your examination.
What is the purpose
of all these tests?
When I was first brought here
myself,
I was as bewildered as you are.
How long have you been here?
I left England
in the summer of 1926.
HE CHUCKLES
It was a very hot day, I remember.
Hm.
I think I must have dozed off
over my desk, and when I awoke
Ho-ho-ho! But that's a long story.
Did you ever hear of the adventures
of Captain Jack Harkaway?
No, I can't say that I
Wait a minute!
A serial in a boys' magazine?
The Ensign! The Ensign
And for 25 years,
I delivered 5,000 words every week.
You're a writer.
25 years, 5,000 words a week.
That's over half a million words.
Yes. It was probably a record.
That's why I was selected to work
here.
You're in charge of all this?
In one sense, yes.
Yes. Or is all this in charge of
you?
My brainis the source
of the creative power,
which keeps this whole operation
going.
I see. That means
that you are virtually a prisoner.
Oh, no, no, no, no
ALARM BLARES
CRACKLING
Oh
You must excuse me for one moment.
Let's get out of here.
It gives me the creeps.
No, I need to find out more.
Keep him talking and
Zoe and me will find a way out.
I think it'll be safer to all
stick together.
Oh, sorry to have kept you.
Where were we?
You were about to answer my
question. Are you a prisoner here?
Well, no. No, I wouldn't say that
In fact, I rather like being here.
I have everything
I could possibly want.
This vast library with
all the known works of fiction.
All the masterpieces written by
Earthmen
since the beginning of time!
I don't think he noticed.
No. Let's try down there.
I see, yes. And only an
Earthman-type creature
has the power to create fiction.
The power to imagine.
Exactly!
This is one field in which the
intelligence I serve cannot compete.
They need a man, of boundless
imagination as a
..a powerhouse, a lifeline,
you might say.
What is this intelligence you serve
and why was I brought here?
Well, as you see,
I'm no longer young,
whereas you, Doctor, are ageless.
You exist outside
the barriers of time and space.
And you want me
To take over this unique situation!
To take my place.
I refuse.
ALARM BLARES
CRACKLING
Refusal is impossible.
You are here to serve us.
There is no alternative.
STATIC BUZZES
We've got to find a way out!
There must be a door somewhere.
We've got to get the Doctor
away before Jamie!
Stop!
No. Back this way.
Resistance is useless.
Submit your will for the sake
of the greater good.
It has been decided.
I refuse.
I shall make that decision
for myself.
You will find there is
only one decision open to you.
Mission accomplished.
Procedure as arranged.
What does that mean?
The latest chapter
of the serial story.
I'll read you the last sentence.
Zoe and Jamie attempted to escape,
butin making through the
library,
they were ambushed by a party
of guards and overpowered.
Oh, no! Jamie. Zoe!
Are you prepared to co-operate now?
Your life in return for theirs?
Is that a bargain?
HE LAUGHS
Look.
HE MOANS, STRAINS
Oh, Jamie, my eyes!
I can't see. Where are you?
Quick, back. Get away.
Zoe, here, quick.
Oh!
No. It's a book. Back out again!
Oh, no!
Oh, push. Open up. It's closing.
No! Argh!
What have you done?!
They're no longer human,
just fictional characters.
If you consent to take my place
here, they can be released.
You really would do that?
No, my dear sir. YOU would.
Once you take up your post here,
it can be your first official task
as the new controller.
I see. How very ingenious.
I take it, then, that you agree?
No! My answer is still no.
How very unfortunate.
I'm sorry to have to use violent
methods, but you must submit.
You have no alternative.
I have yet to see a robot
that can climb!
You cannot escape
..but we will play your game
a little longer.
HE LAUGHS WICKEDLY
Doctor! Ah, Zoe! Jamie!
Am I glad to see you?!
The Master said you'd been
Where do we go from here?
Back to the TARDIS.
We can't. It fell apart.
Don't you remember?
It's all over now, thank goodness.
The TARDIS broke up.
Yes, you said that.
I'm tired. I think I'll sit down.
Is something wrong, Zoe?
Where do we go? To the TARDIS.
We can't. It broke up.
Don't you remember?
But youkeep saying
the same things.
The TARDIS broke up.
Then, it's true. They're not real.
They've been turned into fiction.
What's this?
The master tape!
I wonder
Perhaps if I were to create
a few immortal words of fiction of
my own
Yes. It's worth trying.
What I need is the strength
of Karkus.
I am at your command!
Oh, thank you, my dear sir.
Perhaps you could release this
for me.
This is what you want?
No. I want to get down here somehow.
Ah. Wait. Oh, thank you.
Jamie.
Jamie, Zoe.
You are being controlled.
Jamie, listen. Listen.
Oh, it's no use.
A rope.
Oh, thank you. Ouch! Careful.
Oh. Yes, of course.
You are the Princess Rapunzel.
Are you a prince?
No, I'm afraid not.
Would you mind if I used your hair
to get down there?
No, of course not.
Everybody else uses it.
Thank you. Where can we attach
the? Oh, yes, of course.
KEYS CLACK
Yes, yes. Go on!
The enemy had been finally defeated
by the Doctor.
No, no. I can't say that.
If I say that
I nearly fell for it.
Another two seconds, and I should
have turned myself into fiction!
Halt.
Now we shall play games no longer.
I'm very obliged to you both.
Always happy to be of assistance.
Jamie and Zoe. I left them here.
Where are they? Jamie! Zoe!
They had to make a departure.
It was necessary.
They'll be back soon.
What's been happening?
You must have SOME idea.
Is it a game?
Please! Please! I must think!
There must be a way out of this.
There's GOT to be.
"Jamie and Zoe realised at last
"that the Doctor was, in fact,
"the most monstrous and cunning
villain.
"There was no punishment too severe
"for the crimes that he had
committed."
Splendid. Splendid.
Come closer, my children.
You sent for us, Master?
Now you know what the Doctor
is really like, don't you?
He's the most monstrous and cunning
villain.
No punishment
is too severe for his crimes.
Word perfect. That is why I sent
for you both
at this moment of crisis.
We need your help. What must we do?
Well
# A pocketful of posies
# A-tishoo. A-tishoo
# We all fall down! #
You are in an unhappy situation.
Is there anything we can do to
help?
I only wish there was. Look!
What's that?!
I never saw it before.
The TARDIS!
Safe and sound!
By all that's wonderful!
Are you ready? The time has come.
The time? To leave!
How did you find the TARDIS?
We'll explain later. Come on!
Just as I was thinking
that all was over.
Oh, no.
It's not over yet, Doctor.
Not yet.
THEY LAUGH
Agh! Jamie! Zoe!
THEY LAUGH
What's happening?!
The children obeyed perfectly.
Their mission is completed.
Now perhaps we can get down to
business.
As you refused
to take over at the controls,
we were forced to incorporate you
into the computer.
To what purpose?
To bring planet Earth under our
control.
And its people?
We have no wish to destroy them.
Merely adjust their minds
to suit our purpose.
Sausages. Man would become like
a string of sausages - all the same.
Man will simply vanish from
the Earth and reappear here.
Leaving Earth undamaged and
uninhabited for you to take over.
Precisely. If I co-operate.
You have no alternative.
You are part of the Master Brain.
So the computer
feeds off my thoughts, does it?
Correct.
Then, it will create what I think.
Oh, no. No. You're now under control
of the Master Brain.
Are you so sure? You couldn't
control my mind before
and you can't control it now.
Submit! No!
You've given me equal power. It's a
battle of wits between you and me.
Oh, no. No. No!
Stop. Stop.
Jamie, Zoe.
Can you hear me? Think
for yourselves. Don't be afraid.
You CAN open the book.
Go on, you can do it.
Oh. Oh, dear.
This is against everything
we ever worked for.
Warning, warning!
WHIRRING
Emergency action.
Emergency. Emergency!
Don't worry about fiction. Hang on
to real life. You've got to get out.
Calling white robots.
Guards will enter the control
centre.
The Master Brain must be protected.
What IS it? What are you saying?
A game?
We are not in the same service.
You're going away from us.
Push, Zoe. Push hard.
We WILL get out.
Soldiers! To the roof. Immediately!
Jamie, Zoe, concentrate.
You've got to get out of there.
Now push. Harder!
Harder!
Splendid!
Soldiers, forward!
Seize them. Destroy them.
No! Jamie, Zoe, run.
Get back, Zoe!
Can't you help us?
We obey our creator. That is all
that can be expected
of any character, unless the Master
says otherwise.
And now, Doctor, obey me.
No!
Suddenly the Karkus
came to their rescue.
I am at your command.
He raised his anti-molecular
disintegrator gun
and destroyed the soldiers.
No! But the Karkus realised his
mistake,
and turned back to face his real
enemies, Jamie and Zoe.
What's he doing? Duck, Zoe!
With Jamie and Zoe firmly in his
sights,
the Karkus pressed the trigger
of his gun.
But all the power had been used up
on the soldiers and it was useless.
Ooh, you'll have to do better than
that!
Suddenly, a swashbuckling figure
appeared.
Poet and swordsman,
the famous Cyrano de Bergerac.
Remorselessly, Cyrano advanced
on those
who had dared to poke fun
at his nose.
But wait.
He found himself face-to-face
with the fearless musketeer
and fearless swordsman, D'Artagnan.
Jamie, Zoe, get away from there!
Come on, Zoe.
Princess Rapunzel, can we use
your hair again? Of course.
Why are we going down there?
We've got to find the Doctor.
Stop them. Substitute cutlass for
rapier. Cancel Cyrano.
Blackbeard the Pirate.
Cancel D'Artagnan.
Substitute Sir Lancelot
in full armour.
This way.
The Doctor is expendable.
Expendable. He will be destroyed.
Oh, no, no. He's the only person.
There's nobody else.
I can't go on for ever.
Please give me another chance.
You have failed.
The Master Brain must be protected
against overloading.
Robot force will deal with him.
Change robot weapon
to destructor beam.
BUZZING, WHIRRING
Remove him.
Oh, my goodness.
Uh, asas the white robots
advanced on the Doc
No, I can't say that!
I can't say that.
No, Doctor.
You can't save yourself this time.
Bring him out.
What can we do?
We can't fight those brutes.
No, but the computer
must control everything,
the robots included.
The Master said it must be protected
against overloading.
It is a pity that we have to destroy
such an intelligent mind as yours,
Doctor,
but you leave us no alternative.
Disintegrate.
SCREECHING, BEEPING, WHIRRING
Stop them!
They will overload the Master Brain!
Destroy them. Destroy!
Zoe, duck!
BANGING, EXPLOSIONS
Zoe? Jamie? Oh, my goodness!
Shouldn't we go?
Yes. Jamie, give me a hand.
What do you want to bring him for?
Don't argue, Jamie, give me a hand.
I don't see why we had to bring him.
He caused all this trouble.
Are you all right, sir?
I'm not altogether sure where I am.
Is this the office
of the Ensign magazine?
You were kidnapped, like we were.
They've been using your mind.
What happens to us now?
That depends on the white robots.
Their last order was to destroy.
Let's hope they're destroying
one another.
What about the Karkus
and Gulliver and our friends?
You can't blow up a fictional
character.
But what about us, though?
We'll have to hope the destruction
of the computer returns us all to
reality.
Do you mean I'm going home?
I hope so.
But it could just as well
send us into oblivion.
Vanish for ever?!
We shall soon know.
Hang on. Here it comes.
Oh, that was scary.
Those clockwork soldiers gave me
the shivers.
Still, we got away by the skin of
our teeth.
The story of our lives.
And you've got a different face.
Sorry about that. Aye.
Maybe we should go back there, swap
this old one for a new one.
No chance.
You look very distinguished.
Ah, thank you.
Well, who'd have thought, president
and a Highlander sharing stories.
I can get used to this.
Well, we can't stay here forever,
Jamie. There's people who need us.
But suppose we went back
and forgot all over again.
Well, whatever this place is, it's
restored our memories, for good.
I think all we need to do,
if we want to come back here,
is to close our eyes
and remember it.
Maybe we're in heaven.
I hope not. I'm a very busy woman.
Oh, so does Madame President
have time for another story?
Go on, then.
Ice Warriors.
Oh, how can I forget those great
lumbering lizards?
And poor Victoria, screamed her
lungs out when she first saw them.
Nearly brought down a mountain.
I wonder if she's still out there
somewhere?
Oh, I bet she is.
I wonder if we all come here
eventually?
All the Doctor's friends?
I hope she had a nice life.
I'm sure she did.
I bet she thought of you every
single day.
Because there's one thing I know for
sure,
I will never, ever forget this
again.
DOCTOR WHO THEME
Where the devil am I?
I think it's a TARDIS.
Oh, I think it's THE TARDIS!
In a manner of speaking.
Zoe?
Hello, Jamie!
Zoe!
Oh! Oh, Jamie, Jamie!
You remember! Of course I remember.
Mind you, I forgot for so long.
Well, they made us forget,
the Time Lords,
when we left the Doctor.
They erased our memories.
But in here, it's all back.
Every adventure, every story,
every single moment!
Aye, but how did we get here?
And where's the Doctor?
Oh, he'll be out there somewhere
in the stars.
But I don't think this is for him.
I think this is meant for us.
Oh.
I've missed him every day of my life.
But I didn't realise it.
What they did to us was
unforgivable.
And I think we've been brought here
to undo it.
One last gift from the Doctor.
I'd still be with him now if I could.
Try to keep up with him.
Oh, don't you have a family? Aye.
Five daughters. Oh!
Legs hairier than mine
and 19 grandchildren.
19?! Aye, not so wee any more.
Well, I have a son.
A scientist.
I named him James.
Aafter me?
I never realised before, but
Well, of course after you! Oh.
Did you marry a man from
the space Wheel?
No, no. We met on Earth
in Australia.
Ha! I've been there.
Got shot at.
Oh, we got shot at all the time.
Aye.
But look at you.
Ever so noble.
Oh, presidential robes,
thank you very much.
This is my third inauguration.
President? Mm-hm.
The Doctor would be so proud.
Isn't it funny,
all the things he showed us,
and taught us,
I've been using them every single
day of my life
without realising?
All those experiences
were at the back of my mind,
pushing me forwards.
Me too.
Do you think we'll ever see
the Doctor again?
Oh, I'm not sure.
But we keep him alive
by telling our stories.
WHOOSHING
Oh. So, we tell our stories
to each other
and to our families.
Yes. Pass them down,
generation after generation.
Ah, well, where do we begin?
And don't say Cybermen.
I want to forget about the Cybermen.
SHE CHUCKLES
OK.
Er The Krotons.
No! The Quarks.
The Quarks, aye.
The wee metal beasties.
And didn't the TARDIS get swallowed
by lava?
Yes!
And then things got worse.
That's right.
I remember now.
Oh, my word! Come on,
Jamie. Into the TARDIS. Quickly.
Isn't it beautiful? Eh?
The volcanic eruption.
It's beautiful. Beautiful?
A great river of molten lava
rolling down
Quiet. Oh. Oh, dear.
Is something wrong? This sort
of thing has happened before.
The fluid links don't seem to be
able to take the load.
Oh, oh! Mercury vapour.
Well, we can't stay here.
We'll be buried by that lava.
It's nearly on us, look!
Oh, my word! What a wonderful sight.
Fantastic.
Listen, will you two stop gaping
at that and get us out of here.
Don't worry, Jamie.
We're safe in the TARDIS.
Are you sure? Well
Has the TARDIS ever been buried
up to its neck in lava before?
Well, no. How can you be so sure
we're going to be all right?
Well, perhaps the fluid links
have cooled down by now.
That's a bit more power.
Zoe, can you read off
what that meter
is registering, please?
Reading 987.3 Yes.
.4, .5 Oh, no.
6
It's jumped to 991. It's going up
by numerals. Oh, no!
If I can't pull this down,
we'll get stuck.
That stupid, idiotic
Doctor, the lava's up to the TARDIS.
It's reached the 1,000 danger mark,
Doctor.
If only I could unstick
this stupid, idiotic
There we are.
Have you done it? Are we on our way?
It's stopped the fluid links from
vaporising. We shan't suffocate.
If you don't hurry up and get us
out of here,
we'll be fried by that lava!
Isn't there any way we can get away?
Well, there is an emergency unit,
but
Oh, no, I can't possibly use that.
But this is an emergency.
But it moves the TARDIS
out of the time-space dimension,
out of reality. Fine.
Reality's getting too hot, anyway.
Oh, all right.
Here we are.
Now, then, which end was?
Yes
No, look, I can't possibly use this.
We don't know what will happen.
Will you stop your jabbering
and get on with it. Look!
METALLIC THRUMMING
SONIC PULSES
Ah. There you are.
We're all right.
What was all the panic about?
Is there any reading
on the meter, Zoe?
Yes, it's
Well, that's funny.
There's no reading at all.
No. None of the meters
are registering.
Not one.
But we're safe. We're out of that
lava stuff and we're all right here.
Yes, possibly.
I'd better get working
on the TARDIS controls right away.
Doctor, we're not actually
in flight, are we?
No. Why?
Well, then, presumably,
we've landed,
so why isn't the scanner
showing anything?
Well, because
Well, we're nowhere.
It's as simple as that.
I'll be in the power room, Jamie.
Right.
Hey! What does he mean,
we're nowhere?
I don't know.
I suppose he means that outside
the TARDIS now is nothing.
Just nothing.
Well, I'm away to change,
and I suggest you do the same.
You look like a wee McLarty.
A what?
A ragamuffin. A Oh, never mind.
Doctor?
What's happened?
Nothing. It's all exactly
the same. Good, good.
You're worried by something,
Doctor, what is it?
Me, worried? No.
It's only the unknown
that worries me, Zoe.
But if there's nothing outside
the TARDIS and we're nowhere,
then what is there to worry about?
I don't know.
The emergency unit is limited
to a certain time, simply because
Because it's dangerous to stay
where we are for any longer, yes.
But we must be safe at the moment,
otherwise the unit
wouldn't let us stay here, would it?
You're interested in what's outside
the TARDIS now, aren't you?
Well, curious, yes.
Zoe, listen to me.
If we move outside the TARDIS,
we step into a dimension
about which we know nothing.
We shall be at the mercy
of the forces, outside time
and space as we know it.
But, Doctor, I still think
we should go out and see
Zoe, we must stay in the TARDIS.
BAGPIPE MUSIC
He's still got his head
stuck in that
Zoe, do you see that?
Do you see where we are? What?
Look, on the scanner. It's my home.
It's Scotland. Scotland? Aye.
Oh! It was there.
Oh, yeah.
Now, look, I'm not seeing things.
It was there, I tell you. Really?
Aye. The mist
must have covered it over.
You get a lot of mist
in the Highlands.
So you think we've landed, then?
Yes. I couldn't have seen anything,
could I?
Oh, just a minute.
What?
There's a wee gadget on here
somewhere that warns you
to go elsewhere
if there's any danger.
No, no. It's definitely switched
off. We've landed.
Well, I think it's more likely
that you saw
It can't be, Jamie.
Aye, it's switched off, all right.
It's the city.
My home.
Jamie, you did see something,
but it wasn't Scotland.
Of course it was.
Look, I know Scotland when I see it.
And I know my home city.
Anyway, there's your proof.
Uh-huh.
But I don't understand.
It was there.
Yeah, I know, Scotland!
No. It was quite plainly
Anyway, we've both seen something,
so that proves we've landed,
doesn't it?
Yes.
Let's go out and see.
Now, not without the Doctor.
Oh, all right. Aye.
It is! Jamie, Doctor,
it is my home.
Oh, come on.
Now, which one?
Oh, come on.
No, we definitely saw something.
But, Jamie, it's not poss
You say you both saw
different things?
No, it was definitely Scotland.
Zoe thought she saw something
else - her home city or something,
but, no, it was very misty
and she couldn't have seen right.
So you both saw your homes?
No, Doctor. I'm saying that
Zoe? Oh, my word!
Zoe, Zoe!
I told her to wait.
I'll go and get her.
No, Jamie. Don't you see?
Those pictures that you and Zoe saw
on the scanner were put there.
Obviously put there to tempt you
to go outside.
Who by? I don't know.
But there's someone or something
out there
that wants us to go out of
the TARDIS.
You mean, some kind of danger?
I don't know.
BEEPING
Oh. Oh, no.
That's the first warning.
There isn't much more time.
But, Zoe, we can't leave her
out there. I'll go and find her.
No, Jamie. No.
Jamie! Jamie!
LOUDER ALARM SOUNDS
Oh! Oh, no.
WHOOSHING
Who are you?
Who are you?
Where are you?
What do you want with me?
No
No, I must fight.
I must fight.
I will fight.
Jamie! Doctor, where are you?
Zoe!
Zoe.
Jamie. I thought I was lost
for good. Aye.
It's funny out here, isn't it?
It's not the mist
that we thought it was. It's
Opaque. Nothingness.
Just like the Doctor said.
It doesn't feel right, though.
Come on, back to the TARDIS.
Is that the right way?
Of course it's the right way.
Oh! No, it could be
Oh! We're lost, aren't we?
No, I wouldn't say that.
We're just
Well, the
We're just a
Do you want to know something?
What?
I think we're lost.
This isn't a joke, Jamie.
No, you're right.
The Doctor was saying that those
images we saw on our scanner
..were put here to tempt us out.
Well, if somebody was trying
to tempt us away, where are they?
And who are they?
Aye. Aye, well, let's not be in too
much of a hurry to find that out.
What are we going to do?
The TARDIS can't be that far away.
No, if we stand here and shout for
the Doctor, when he hears us,
he can guide us back.
Doctor!
Doctor, can you hear us?
Doctor. Doctor.
Answer if you can hear us.
No, I will fight.
I will fight.
Oh, Jamie, this is hopeless.
We could be going round in circles.
Aye.
You know, I've got a funny feeling
that we're being watched.
Do you not feel it too?
Yes.
Can you see anyone?
No. No-one at all.
Jamie, look.
What is it?
It's very faint,
but I think it's my home again.
Zoe, it's a trick. You know it is.
Oh, Jamie, it's gone.
That proves it, doesn't it?
A city like that
doesn't just disappear, does it?
But it is out there.
It's not, Zoe. You know it isn't.
No, I know.
For a moment, I thought it was real.
It was almost as though I was seeing
what I most wanted to see.
Jamie, you're right.
We've got to get away.
Jamie?
BAGPIPE MUSIC
Jamie, it's not real.
I know, but it's there.
No, Jamie, it's not.
I must
No, Jamie, no.
Oh! Why did you do?
BAGPIPES STOP
Oh, the Doctor's right.
There is something or someone
trying to tempt us away. Aye.
What are they?
I don't know,
but they don't look very friendly.
Oh!
ZOE SCREAMS
Jamie, Zoe, don't go.
Don't go.
Follow them.
Follow and save them.
Who are you? What do you want?
Follow them.
No. I won't. I won't give in.
You will. You will.
You will.
ZOE SCREAMS
There is still time.
Save them.
Save them.
I can't let it happen.
I can't.
Jamie?
Zoe?
Jamie, Zoe,
concentrate only on my words.
Think of me. Think of the TARDIS.
They are the only real things here.
Everything else is unreality.
It is only in your minds.
Now, concentrate.
Come to me now. Now.
Walk straight to the TARDIS.
Don't stop.
Come on.
Keep walking to the TARDIS.
Come on.
Don't look behind you.
Now go in. Go in.
Jamie. Zoe.
Go in before it's too late.
Go in.
Go in.
Doctor, what's been happening?
Sh, Jamie. Quiet.
Oh, how do you feel?
What happened? Where have we been?
Nowhere. But
All mental images, Jamie.
Pure imagination.
Why? What's all this about?
I don't know.
We've got to be careful. We've
got to be very, very careful now.
Careful? We're safe enough back
in the TARDIS, aren't we?
Yes, possibly.
WHINING NOISE
What's that?
I don't know. It's not the TARDIS
going wrong again?
No, no. We're on our way, all right,
but the trouble is
I don't know where to.
That's not unusual.
Tell me when we get there.
I'm sorry, Doctor. It was my fault.
I shouldn't have gone outside.
It's all right, Zoe. I don't think
you could help it. Why not?
I think whoever it was
that was tempting you outside
made it irresistible.
Why! Even I gave in
when the voice said
What voice?
I don't know.
Perhaps there wasn't one.
Perhaps it was just illusion.
But we are safe now?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
The TARDIS is performing
quite normally. That's odd.
What? Well, this meter's
dropped below 1,000.
Is that critical?
It means we're using more power
than we're storing.
But don't worry. We've got an
emergency power booster unit
somewhere, if I can find the switch.
No. Oh, dear.
It's here somewhere.
STRANGE SONIC NEIGHING
Ah! Found it? Yes.
Yes, that's the one.
Now, just a little bit more power.
Read off the meter for me,
will you, Zoe?
Reading 990 Yes.
1 Good. 2 Fine.
3 Agh!
Quiet, Jamie.
What's been happening? 4
Yeah. Steady at 4.
Oh, no. Is something wrong?
5. Good. 6 Fine.
7, 8 Let it creep up now.
I don't want to blow
the fluid links again.
Just had the most peculiar dream.
There was this big white horse
with a horn
right in the middle of his head
A unicorn? Aye. Probably.
He was charging straight towards me.
9 8 Head down, ready for the
kill. I thought any moment!
Really, Jamie, your imagination
is
What's the matter?
I don't Jamie, look.
Doctor? Mm. What's up?
Quiet, Jamie. Quiet.
VIBRATING THROB
That sound.
That vibration. It's alien.
I can feel it too. In my head.
I can't seem to be able
to concentrate.
Concentrate, both of you.
Concentrate on something.
I can't! What is it? Read out
the figures to me, Zoe, aloud.
9, 9, 1
Louder. Both of you,
read them off.
2, 3
It's getting stronger. It's
3. 4
It's dragging me.
Concentrate. Both of you.
5 It's too strong.
It's too powerful. 6
7 It's too powerful.
I must fight I must fight
I will fight!
Jamie, the Doctor.
SHE SCREAMS
Doctor?
Zoe.
What's happened?
Jamie! Jamie, over here!
Zoe? Is that you?
Redcoats.
Am I back in my own time?
If I am, they'll shoot me down.
Shoot me down like a dog, would you?
Well, a McCrimmon never died
without a fight yet.
Creag an tuire!
Jamie? Jamie!
Jamie, I'm here.
Where are you?
Jamie, can you hear me?
Jamie
Jamie, Doctor, help.
Somebody help me. I'm trapped.
DOOR CREAKS LOUDLY
SHE SCREAMS
Good. Good. Excellent.
And now the good Doctor,
where is he?
Look around.
He must be here somewhere.
Find him. Search.
I see. He has eluded us for
the moment.
So he is not yet
completely under my control.
Perhaps it is better this way.
Yes.
He'll soon find out.
Find him. Search all areas!
Jamie, Zoe Jamie
Fight I must fight.
I must fight, fight!
Where in time and space am I?
Where are the others?
Jamie? Zoe?
Doctor. Hello!
Jamie, is that you?
Jamie! Doctor!
Zoe?
Doctor, I'm trapped! Help me,
please!
All right, Zoe. Stay where you are
and I'll see if I can find you.
Hello?
Call out to me.
Here! Over here!
Yes, all right, Jamie.
Hello, Doctor! I'm over here.
All right, Zoe.
OVERLAPPING SHOUTS
No, no, no!
Not both together. One at a time.
Now, then, Jamie,
you seem to be the nearer.
You first. Count up to ten.
One, two, three, four
Find him. Search. Search!
Perhaps some light will help.
This is like exploring a maze in the
dark.
Well, thank you, whoever you are.
HEAVY MARCHING
Spread out. Cover the whole area,
slowly.
Keep moving. Look left to right.
Search every inch of the forest.
We know the Doctor is here
somewhere.
Hm. No sign of him,
but he can't be far away.
We'll continue on this course.
Track him down! Those are your
orders! He must be found!
Jamie. Zoe.
Heckinah degul.
Tolgo fonac.
Langro dehul san?
Grildig? Splacknuck?
Yes, er Parlez-vous francais?
Recalsitrat undique tutis!
Glandack daytan!
Do you speak English, by any chance?
Sir, my birth was of honest parents
in an island called England.
Good gracious me.
Why didn't you say so at once?
I've spoken as many languages
as I have the least smattering of.
High and Low Dutch. Latin.
Well, let's start at the beginning
again, shall we?
What did you say to me?
I said, "Beware, false traitor,
highwayman,
"robber, pickpocket, murderer."
You must be making some mistake.
Highwayman, indeed.
When were you last in England?
We set sail from Bristol
on May 4th 1699.
We? What became of my companions
I cannot tell. They were all lost.
My dear sir,
you and I are in the same boat.
You have a stout ship?
Unfortunately, no.
Would you take that pop gun away?
It does unsettle me so.
Well, sir, if you can assure me
you are no traitor.
How can I be a traitor
when I don't even know where I am?
Where am I?
I cannot tell.
That makes two of us, doesn't it?
Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.
Listen, I've lost my companions,
too.
Two of them, a boy and a girl. Jamie
and Zoe.
Have you seen them? Alas, no.
I've got to find them.
Perhaps you could help me
if you know your way around.
It is not permitted. Who says so?
The Master. The Master?
He has articles of impeachment
against you
for treason and other capital
crimes.
Treason again? Really?
I leave to your prudence
what measures you will take,
and now, sir, to avoid suspicion
..I must retire
in as private a manner as I came.
But, sir, don't go. I wanted to ask
you
A hallucination?
Ah, well.
Jamie!
Zoe!
Cooee. Is that you, Zoe?
Cooee. Who's that? Who are you?
Well Well, well, well, well,
well!
How do you do?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
This isn't the time for riddles.
You must answer.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Very well. To get to the other side.
Or so I've always been led to
believe. Now would you mind telling
me
Which is it, the yolk of an egg
is white or the yolk of an egg are
white?
Neither. It's yellow.
How many beans make five? Where was
Moses when the lights went out?
Adam and Eve and Pinch Me
went to the river to bathe.
Adam and Eve got drowned.
Who do you think was saved?
Well, Pinch Me, obviously.
THEY GIGGLE
Stop it. Don't do that.
Now it's my turn to ask you
questions.
What can you make of a sword? Huh?
What can you make of it?
Rearrange it. Think.
This is your last chance.
S-W-O-R-D. Rearrange.
S-W-O-R-D
Rearranged it makesW-O-R-D-S.
Words.
THEY CHEER
It's a dictionary. Words.
You have answered correctly.
You may be suitable. Suitable?
I do hope so. Come on. It's teatime.
I'm hungry. Race you home.
Words
Doctor, over here.
Jamie?
Jamie? Is that you?
Ah! Jamie.
It's just another trick.
Hello
What's this?
A safe?
Locked, of course.
And a wishing well.
I wish
I wish I believed in wishing wells.
MUTTERING FROM WELL
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Hello.
This is a puzzle. That's what it is.
Oh, yes.
I'm beginning to recognise this.
It's sort of picture writing.
Let me see now.
Jamie.
Mist.
Mist without the M or the T.
I-S. Is.
Hand without the H. And.
So we have "Jamieis
"safe andwell."
Oh! Oh, now I've lost his face!
Hello.
Oh, I see.
I'm supposed to provide the face,
am I? Mm-hm.
Very well. Now, then.
Yes. There we are.
Yes, that's his nose all right.
And
Here. Yes
Oh, no. I've done it wrong.
Doctor.
Oh, I'm glad to see you again!
But you're not Jamie. Eh?
MASTER CHUCKLES
What are you on about?
Well, your face, it's different.
What do you mean, different?
Look in the mirror.
That's not my face! It's the
one you're stuck with for now.
Why should I suddenly be different?
I don't know.
It's a nasty trick played by the
person who brought us here.
Brought us here? What's happening?
I don't know. Just a minute, if you
really are Jamie,
you should know what's happened.
How did you get here?
Well, you know, I was describing
my dream with a unicorn.
Yes.
He was charging straight for me,
head down, ready for the kill,
when suddenly everything went
crazy and I was off.
Off? Where to?
Where have you been?!
In the fog. Really.
Ever since the TARDIS broke up.
It did what?
Broke up. It fell to bits.
The next thing I knew, I was here.
I heard you calling,
but couldn't find you.
Jamie, help!
Zoe, where are you?
I'm trapped. You must help me!
It sounds as if she's over there.
Come on, then!
Zoe!
I can't get out. Help me, please.
There's no handle.
There's no lock either.
Don't you see?
It's not a door at all.
It's a brick wall
with a door painted on it.
That's crazy. How do you open a door
that isn't a door?
Let me think.
What's the good of thinking? What we
want is a battering ram.
When is a door not a door?
Och, this is no time for riddles.
No, no.
When is a door not a door, hmm?
When it's ajar. Eh?
Get me out.
Get me out! Oh, get me out!
Oh, Zoe.
THEY LAUGH
Get me out.
Not unless you promise to be
a good girl.
Oh, you
Go on. Get her out.
Come on, then. Up you come.
One, two, three
I thought I was never
going to get out of Who are you?
Don't you start, Zoe.
I've had enough from the Doctor.
I'm me.
Jamie.
Why does he look so different?
Well, I'llI'll tell you later.
It's time we got out of this wood.
Aye. This place gives me the
creeps.
You go on ahead, Jamie.
Is that really Jamie?
Wellwell, yes.
He couldn't just have changed like
that. It's impossible.
I think we may be in a place where
nothing is impossible. Come on.
Oh, my feet ache. I'm going to
sit down and have a rest.
If only we could see over these
trees.
If you give me a leg-up,
I'll shin up one.
Yes. Good idea.
Up you go.
Can you manage? I think so.
It's a bit tricky, but
Nearly there. There's a foothold.
I'm at the top.
Doctor
What is it? Can you see something?
I can see all right.
Do you know what this tree is?
No. What?
It's a letter S.
The next one's an L,
and then an O and a W
It's a forest of words.
This must be a world of words.
What do the words say?
"Slow but sure"
"..in for a penny"
In for a pound.
They're all sayings, proverbs.
"Look before you leap."
I can't read any more. Never mind
that. Can you see a way out?
I think so
Yes. Yes.
Down you come. There's a foothold.
Can you manage?
Steady.
There.
It's this way.
Oh, Doctor. It's all right,
don't worry.
I've met this gentleman before.
He's a traveller like ourselves.
Delighted to meet you again, sir.
Allow me to present my two
companions.
This is Zoe
..and this is Jamie.
How do you do, sir? We're trying
to get out of this wood.
This resolution may appear
very bold and dangerous.
But we've got to get away.
Haven't you ever tried to escape?
No. I looked upon myself
to be fully settled for life.
These tests, what's the point of
them?
In choosing persons for all
employments,
they have regard to great abilities.
A course of study
is required to qualify
any man for the service of his
country.
But who's in charge here?
Who's setting all these tests for
us? The Master.
The Master again.
I suppose this army of robots
works for the Master as well.
Army? As to their military affairs,
I knew not what they meant.
Surely you've seen them.
I knew not what they meant.
Ah, now, but surely?
RHYTHMIC MARCHING
That's the sound they make.
They're coming back.
What do we do?
We hide! In among the trees.
There's a J. There's room for two.
Thank goodness there's a letter C.
You, sir! Aren't you going to take
cover?
The best expedient
I could think on was to keep guard.
Whatever you do, don't give us away.
I could not forbear smiling, sir.
What you told me is mistaken.
There was no army here.
At last. Very well.
Round them up and lead them
away.
You have your orders!
You know what to do!
Thank you very much.
Why did you give us away?
But I said there was no army here.
MARCHING CONTINUES
Jamie, Zoe, don't you see?
As far as he's concerned,
they don't exist. He can't see them.
Now, sir, I must forbear to trouble
you further.
Having answered the only
objection you've raised against me,
I now take leave of you all. Sir.
Wait a bit.
I think the soldiers want us
to go in the other direction.
Doctor, these soldiers
Am I mad, or do they look like toy
soldiers?
Yes. Particularly dangerous toys,
too. Come along. Let's go.
MARCHING STOPS
They've stopped.
Why have they brought us here?
We shall soon find out.
Mission is accomplished.
It's so dark.
I've got a funny sort of a feeling
I've been here before.
Sh!
RUMBLING
Listen.
Sounds like a horse galloping.
It's getting nearer.
It's coming this way.
WHINNYING
It's not a horse. Look!
A unicorn. My dream! It's looking at
us. Keep quite still.
It's coming straight for us. Run!
No! We don't stand a chance.
Stand still.
Hold your ground! Doctor! Come on!
This is my dream!
No! Stand still.
But we haven't got a chance!
Don't you see?
It's my dream all over again!
It's real!
No, it's not real. It's a legend.
You mustn't believe in it.
You mustn't!
Say it doesn't exist. Say it!
It doesn't exist!
What What happened?
Another test.
But it was alive. We all saw it.
It was terrifying.
He challenged us to believe in it.
Who? The Master?
Whoever it is who's setting up
all these conjuring tricks.
But I don't understand.
The unicorn appeared to be real
until you said it wasn't.
Then we were safe.
But WE believed in it, Jamie and I.
Yes, that was just the danger.
Your belief was affecting ME.
Who would think up
a crazy notion like this?
I don't know.
A fantastic mind.
Too kind.
And if I may,
I'd like to return the compliment.
He's obviously supremely
intelligent.
He's learning the rules here
with admirable speed.
Yes, we were right to choose
the good Doctor.
Doctor. The soldiers!
RHYTHMIC CREAKING
Stop. Let them go.
Wherever they run, whatever they do,
every step they take
will only bring them nearer.
The trap is set.
Let them walk into it.
Oh, how much further?
There's no sign of the toy soldiers
now.
We've got to get out of this place.
Look.
There's a house.
You again. I'll sort you this time!
Creag an tuire!
SHO
Jamie!
Doctor!
Now, it's all right, Zoe, hmm?
FAINT THUDDING
Well, come on, come on.
If you want to play games,
let's get on with it.
ECHOING CHUCKLES
What's that? Well, I have
to make up his face again.
You did this before. Yes.
And that's how Jamie's face
got changed.
You got it all wrong!
What? No. No, no.
Well, I-I-I was rushed.
Now, then There we are.
All right, I know.
Uh There we are.
One
Now, then
Oh, yes, that's his nose.
You can't mistake his nose, can you?
And
DOCTOR CHUCKLES
Ah. There you are, you see.
Jamie! Jamie!
Thank goodness you're back.
Back? What do you mean, back?
I haven't been anywhere.
You've got your face back.
I have? Yes. Look.
You're right, I have.
That's much better.
Ah, the house. Yes. Come along.
Let's Let's go inside.
DOOR CREAKS
DOOR SLAMS SHU
Well, there must be somebody here.
These candles are alight.
Eurgh! Hello there!
ECHOING
One, two, three,
four tunnels leading off.
It'd be easy to get lost in there.
Just a moment.
What's he found?
Yes, a ball of twine.
Hmm. Oh, yes,
this must have been an invitation.
Why? It's the classical way
of getting through a maze.
Jamie, tie that to the door,
will you?
Hey, it's locked.
Then we ARE meant to go on.
Yes, I think we are.
But that means that wherever we go,
at any time, they know.
Yes. They're expecting us. Hmm.
Don't break the thread. Come along.
BEEPING
Ah, at last!
The Doctor is commendably prompt.
I wonder how long it will take him
to get to the heart
of the mystery.
Which way, do you think?
To the right.
They both look equally unattractive
to me.
It must be to the right.
I've been working it out
as we went along.
Doctor. Shush. How?
As soon as we avoided the dead ends,
it soon fell into a clear pattern.
One left, two right,
three left, four right and so on.
It's a simple
arithmetical progression.
Yes, but, Doctor Shh, Jamie.
What it is to have an arithmetical
brain, eh? What do you want?
The thread's run out.
Now, should we not go back?
No. You stay here, and Zoe and I
will explore a little further.
There must be another way
out of this maze. I need to find it.
See, they don't want us to find
a way out, only a way in!
WATER DRIPPING
HE WHISTLES
BEEPING
Go on. Go on!
You're almost there!
I was right. This isn't the way out.
We're in the middle of the maze.
Oh, Doctor, I don't like it.
Let's go. Just a moment.
I was rather expecting a welcoming
committee, but perhaps I was wrong.
Well, I hope you were.
Ah, yes, but there has been someone
here, not so long ago either. Look!
Oh! Oh
And there's some tracks
of an animal too.
Oh, Doctor, let's go.
CREATURE ROARS
It couldn't be. What?
Well, I know it's silly, but do you
remember the story of the Minotaur?
Half-man, half-bull, yes.
And he lived in the heart
of a labyrinth.
And there were human sacrifices.
Exactly, but I-I don't think
we need be too alarmed.
After all
CREATURE ROARS
As I was saying, as long
as we're quite certain
that the Minotaur is only a
Doctor, look!
ROARING
Doctor?
Are you all right? What's happening?
DISTANT ROARS
RHYTHMIC CREAKING
Oh, so that's how you can see,
is it?
With that wee lighthouse of yours.
No! Brainless idiot!
Get yourself free.
Don't let the boy escape.
Forward. Forward.
Doctor, it's moving.
It's coming closer!
ROARING
It's going to attack!
It's ait's a legend.
Another mythical beast,
like the unicorn!
But it's there! No!
The Minotaur is a mythical beast.
Say it!
The Minotaur is a mythical beast.
It doesn't exist!
It's gone.
Yes.
Yes, I'm afraid we made it
too difficult for it to stay.
Come on. Let's go and find Jamie.
I think this is the place. Yes.
There's no sign of him.
I'm sure he wouldn't have gone off
without
What's that? His jacket.
Well, he must be around here
somewhere. Jamie!
Who's that?
Oh! Oh, my dear sir!
Your servant, sir.
You have a knack of turning up
unexpectedly. Have you seen Jamie?
I walked alone
but saw no sign of any inhabitants.
Are you absolutely positive?
I would not impose
any falsities upon you.
I adhere strictly to truth.
Of course.
Thisthis person who controls
this place
The Master? The Master. Yes.
Have you seen him?
Upon occasion he has been pleased
to grant me an audience.
Where might I find him?
The Master's palace is
no ordinary edifice but a citadel,
a walled town
at the top of a hill or cliff,
which is reckoned the highest
in the kingdom.
Yes. Now I think I understand.
May I ask, sir, where you come from?
Would it not be Nottingham?
My father had a small estate
in Nottingham, sir.
I was the third of five sons.
He sent me to Emmanuel College
in Cambridge at 14 years old,
where I applied myself
close to my studies,
learning navigation and other parts
of the mathematics
"Useful for those who intend
to travel"
..as I always believed
it would be, some time or other,
my fortune to do.
Now I know who you are, sir!
Your name is Lemuel Gulliver.
Your servant, sir.
Gulliver? Yes, yes.
Oh, I'm looking forward to a long
talk with you one of these days.
I should like that above all things,
but
..it would not be proper
at this juncture to trouble you
with the particulars
of my adventures.
I wouldn't dream of detaining you.
Having been condemned by nature
and fortune
to a restless and active life,
I must take my leave of you.
Farewell. Farewell.
Why does he talk
in such an extraordinary way?
He can only speak the words
that Dean Swift gave him to say.
But that's ridiculous. I mean, there
never was such a person as Gulliver.
He's a fictional character.
Of course he is.
Don't you understand?
This world that we've tumbled into
is a world of fiction -
unicorns, Minotaurs,
Gulliver's Travels.
They're all alive here.
Then what are WE doing here?
What do they want with us?
I'm not sure I understand that yet.
Come along. Let's find Jamie.
You'd better put this on.
BIRDSONG
RHYTHMIC CREAKING
METALLIC SCRAPING
RHYTHMIC CREAKING CONTINUES
CREAKING STOPS
Oh, no.
I'd need to be a human fly
to get up that lot.
I can't go back, though.
What I really need is a
Who says wishes don't come true?
RHYTHMIC CREAKING
So far, so good.
Some sort of castle.
Well, Jamie, now where?
Well, you don't have much choice,
do you?
Ouch!
I suppose you know that hurts?
You mean this is your hair?
Of course.
I don't object to people climbing
it. I'm quite used to it, actually.
But you would keep tugging so.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Are you a prince? No. Why?
You're supposed to be.
I'm a princess,
but I suppose you knew that.
My name's Rapunzel. You're not
a woodcutter's son, by any chance?
No. I'm the son of a piper.
Oh, how very disappointing.
In that case, you'd better go.
Goodbye.
Oh, Your Highness, wait. Well?
I can't go back there.
It's a sheer drop.
And, well,
I can't just stand out here.
I'll have to climb in
through the window.
Oh, well, I don't know
if that would be allowed.
Well, I won't stay long.
Just passing through, you might say.
Please. It's a great pity
you're not a prince.
You'd have made rather a good one.
Well, I suppose
you'd better come inside.
But for goodness' sake, be quiet.
Rapunzel?
Your Highness, where have you gone?
Don't be silly. I'm not going
Hey, this doesn't look like
the inside
of a princess's castle to me.
"'Christmas won't be
Christmas without any presents,'
"grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.
"'It's so dreadful to be poor,'
sighed Meg, looking down at her"
HE TURNS MACHINE OFF
CLICKING
"The Doctor and Zoe
"..unable to find their companion
in the labyrinth,
"decided to return to the cave
in search of him,
"where a new terror awaited them."
I imagine there must be
at least one more test.
I wonder what it'll be.
I believe you're actually beginning
to enjoy all this.
That wasn't there before, was it?
A statue. Like the unicorn.
Yes,
only the unicorn was alive first
and then became a statue.
Only this time What?
Have a care, Zoe.
I have a feeling the situation
is going to be reversed.
It IS coming to life!
HISSING
Medusa!
CLICKING
"The Doctor and Zoe
"were face-to-face with Medusa.
"One glance from her eyes would
"..would turn them to stone!"
Now, we know what we have to do,
Zoe. Yes.
HISSING
She's moving.
She's going to look at us!
Zoe, we have to say,
"Medusa does not exist."
But she does!
Zoe, Medusa is a myth!
If you believe in her, she can turn
us BOTH to stone. Now, Zoe, say it.
The Medusa is a myth. Say it!
But she's alive! No!
She's real! No!
Don't look in her eyes! Don't look!
HISSING
The Medusa does not exist.
You must believe that.
I can feel her fingertips like ice!
No. That's marble.
Think of her as a marble statue.
A legend.
But she's real! I've got to look
at her! I've got to!
One glance from her eyes
would turn them to stone
..but all was not yet lost.
Suddenly, the Doctor found a sword
at his feet, picked it up
..and with one stroke slew the
monster.
A sword. You're meant to use it like
Perseus.
Maybe it's another trap.
Doctor, please!
No. How can I kill something
that doesn't exist?
I've got to open my eyes.
I've got to see.
Wait!
Perseus. Of course. A mirror.
There. Look at her reflection
in the mirror. Look.
Can you see her? Yes.
This is how Perseus escaped.
He looked at her reflection
in his polished shield.
There's no danger in the reflection.
It's safe now.
You can look now.
The statue has become a statue
again.
Cancel. Cancel. Cancel.
The Doctor test, report failure.
Failure?
ALARM SOUNDS
Attention. Attention. There is
a stranger inside the building.
Call out the search party.
Ah, the young traveller.
I had wondered.
Have you been sent to find me?
His companions were in a state of
anxiety about his whereabouts.
Companions! Zoe and the Doctor.
Where are they?
Safe and well. You've spoken to
them?
The gentleman desired to know
where I came from
and whither I was bound.
STATIC BUZZES
What's that?
I heard nothing.
Probably that search party.
By the laws of this kingdom,
every chamber must be searched.
If they find me, I'm done for.
You should be put to death.
What about you?
I should come to no harm.
If you give me away this time,
I'm finished!
I was ready with the hazard of my
life to defend his person.
Where have they gone?
Hm? The white robots.
Young sir, I do assure you,
there were no such persons here.
Aye. Robots or not,
I'm getting out of this place.
You desire your liberty!
Yes. I got in all right,
but how do I get out?
After some consideration,
I was of the opinion that
Go on, go on.
..this was altogether impossible.
Oh, yes. That's the citadel,
all right.
The question is, how do we get
up there?
It's a long way to climb.
ZAPPING
Zoe, duck.
The Karkus. You are my prisoners.
It's the Karkus. What?
Come out
and put ze hands above ze head.
You know. He's fictional too.
Obey or I fire.
With that thing? What sort of a gun
is that?
An anti-molecular ray
disintegrator.
Rubbish. Such a weapon
is scientifically impossible.
It doesn't exist.
Argh!
That seems to have taken
care of that.
I shall tear you limb from limb.
Doctor, be careful. He could do it.
The Karkus has superhuman strength!
You will be mincemeat.
Doctor, say it.
You know he's a fictional character!
But I've never heard of him!
THEY ALL SHOU
What are you doing?
Please, I'm sure we can talk this
over. Oh!
Argh!
Zoe. Lesson 17!
Be careful. Oh, dear.
Lesson 32.
GROWLING
Ah!
Oh!
Don't do anything rash.
YELLING
GROWLING
HE GROANS
Mercy. You'd better submit
The neck can't take much pressure.
Help!
Do you submit? I submit!
That's better.
I am your slave. Command me.
Do you know the way to the citadel?
I know it.
Take us up there,
there's a good chap.
I obey.
We all follow his adventures
in the "Hourly Telepress".
A strip cartoon of the year 2000?
You've been in the year 2000?
Yes, but I had no time to follow
cartoons.
You'd better start following this
one. He's halfway there. Come on!
Well, thank you, Mr
What did you say his name was?
K-A-R-K-U-S.
Oh, yes. Mr Karkus. Thank you.
We won't be needing you any longer.
Run along.
I obey.
Come along.
You can't just ring the bell.
Why not? It's the usual way.
BELL RINGS
Are you sure this is a good idea?
State your name and attribution.
I am the Karkus.
And your attribution? What's that?
Sh!
Year 2000 comic strip creation.
"The Hourly Telepress".
Authenticated. You may enter.
DOOR CREAKS
Come on! You heard them giving
orders to look for me.
Why do you suppose that happened?
These were orders given
by some person in authority.
The Master? It is possible.
Now I'm getting somewhere. Listen
If there aren't any robots,
who do you think was carrying out
those orders?
Who was I hiding from?
Why, sir, the Yahoos.
Who's the Yahoos?
Inferior creatures. I never beheld
so disagreeable an animal.
I haven't seen any Yahoos,
you haven't seen any robots
Jamie! Stay where you are.
There's an electrical gadget
that sets off an alarm.
The gong went off
and they sent robots after me.
Robots? The ones we saw before?
Big white ones, aye.
Doctor, did you hear that?
Yes. I thought they'd turn up.
It's a simple photo-electric cell.
I'd better lift you over it.
Careful, because Oh, my jacket.
What happened when you left the
tunnel? I was chased
by one of those tin soldiers.
I climbed up the cliff.
How do we get out? I'm not leaving
yet. I'm here on business.
The Doctor's going to see
the Master.
This resolution may appear bold
and dangerous.
You see? Why do you say that?
I think you should not be here.
The Master makes rules for his
kingdom. It is unwise to disobey.
So we shouldn't see the Master?
My advice is to swear
a peace with the Master.
Find a place to lodge, stay with the
expectation that things would mend.
Yes. Well, I'll see. I'll
think it over very carefully.
Your servant. Your servant.
Your servant.
You're not going to do as he says?
No.
I said I'd think it over.
I've thought it over. We're staying.
We'll be fighting in the dark!
We won't know where the
next attack will come from.
Medusa was bad enough. Ah, Medusa.
I read about that on this machine.
Wee words keep coming out of it.
Let's have a look.
There. Look.
Cancel The Doctor, test report -
failure
I'm beginning to understand.
I wish I was.
When somebody writes about
an incident after it's happened,
that is history. Yes
But when the writing comes first,
that's fiction.
If we'd have fallen into
the Master's trap,
we would have become fiction.
That's horrible. Let's get out of
here. Zoe, don't go
Not from there!
BEEP
Oh, no! TANNOY: Attention.
There are still strangers at large.
Renew the search.
The strangers must be found.
What are we going to do?
Gulliver walked through.
Gulliver is not real - we are.
They're coming. Where can we hide?
No need to hide. If they find us
STATIC BUZZES
Let them find us. Just wait?!
Yes. We'll ask for an interview
with the Master.
They may not give us time to
ask Look!
Are you looking for us?
STATIC BUZZES
We demand an interview with
the Master!
CHUCKLING
How very fortunate.
Do come in, Doctor.
I've been expecting you.
Oh, don't be alarmed.
Won't you walk into my parlour?
Said the spider to the fly
Come along.
It's hard to see anything.
Where are you?
Here. Patiently waiting.
Oh, Doctor.
This is a great pleasure.
And your two young companions.
Let me see. Oh, yes.
Zoe and Jamie.
I have your dossiers here.
You're well organised.
Yes. We have to be.
Running this place requires
enormous attention to detail.
It's a responsible position,
but very rewarding.
Responsible, eh?
To someone else?
Not to someone. Another power.
Higher than any you
could begin to imagine.
I must congratulate you
on the great skill
in which you tackled
your examination.
What is the purpose
of all these tests?
When I was first brought here
myself,
I was as bewildered as you are.
How long have you been here?
I left England
in the summer of 1926.
HE CHUCKLES
It was a very hot day, I remember.
Hm.
I think I must have dozed off
over my desk, and when I awoke
Ho-ho-ho! But that's a long story.
Did you ever hear of the adventures
of Captain Jack Harkaway?
No, I can't say that I
Wait a minute!
A serial in a boys' magazine?
The Ensign! The Ensign
And for 25 years,
I delivered 5,000 words every week.
You're a writer.
25 years, 5,000 words a week.
That's over half a million words.
Yes. It was probably a record.
That's why I was selected to work
here.
You're in charge of all this?
In one sense, yes.
Yes. Or is all this in charge of
you?
My brainis the source
of the creative power,
which keeps this whole operation
going.
I see. That means
that you are virtually a prisoner.
Oh, no, no, no, no
ALARM BLARES
CRACKLING
Oh
You must excuse me for one moment.
Let's get out of here.
It gives me the creeps.
No, I need to find out more.
Keep him talking and
Zoe and me will find a way out.
I think it'll be safer to all
stick together.
Oh, sorry to have kept you.
Where were we?
You were about to answer my
question. Are you a prisoner here?
Well, no. No, I wouldn't say that
In fact, I rather like being here.
I have everything
I could possibly want.
This vast library with
all the known works of fiction.
All the masterpieces written by
Earthmen
since the beginning of time!
I don't think he noticed.
No. Let's try down there.
I see, yes. And only an
Earthman-type creature
has the power to create fiction.
The power to imagine.
Exactly!
This is one field in which the
intelligence I serve cannot compete.
They need a man, of boundless
imagination as a
..a powerhouse, a lifeline,
you might say.
What is this intelligence you serve
and why was I brought here?
Well, as you see,
I'm no longer young,
whereas you, Doctor, are ageless.
You exist outside
the barriers of time and space.
And you want me
To take over this unique situation!
To take my place.
I refuse.
ALARM BLARES
CRACKLING
Refusal is impossible.
You are here to serve us.
There is no alternative.
STATIC BUZZES
We've got to find a way out!
There must be a door somewhere.
We've got to get the Doctor
away before Jamie!
Stop!
No. Back this way.
Resistance is useless.
Submit your will for the sake
of the greater good.
It has been decided.
I refuse.
I shall make that decision
for myself.
You will find there is
only one decision open to you.
Mission accomplished.
Procedure as arranged.
What does that mean?
The latest chapter
of the serial story.
I'll read you the last sentence.
Zoe and Jamie attempted to escape,
butin making through the
library,
they were ambushed by a party
of guards and overpowered.
Oh, no! Jamie. Zoe!
Are you prepared to co-operate now?
Your life in return for theirs?
Is that a bargain?
HE LAUGHS
Look.
HE MOANS, STRAINS
Oh, Jamie, my eyes!
I can't see. Where are you?
Quick, back. Get away.
Zoe, here, quick.
Oh!
No. It's a book. Back out again!
Oh, no!
Oh, push. Open up. It's closing.
No! Argh!
What have you done?!
They're no longer human,
just fictional characters.
If you consent to take my place
here, they can be released.
You really would do that?
No, my dear sir. YOU would.
Once you take up your post here,
it can be your first official task
as the new controller.
I see. How very ingenious.
I take it, then, that you agree?
No! My answer is still no.
How very unfortunate.
I'm sorry to have to use violent
methods, but you must submit.
You have no alternative.
I have yet to see a robot
that can climb!
You cannot escape
..but we will play your game
a little longer.
HE LAUGHS WICKEDLY
Doctor! Ah, Zoe! Jamie!
Am I glad to see you?!
The Master said you'd been
Where do we go from here?
Back to the TARDIS.
We can't. It fell apart.
Don't you remember?
It's all over now, thank goodness.
The TARDIS broke up.
Yes, you said that.
I'm tired. I think I'll sit down.
Is something wrong, Zoe?
Where do we go? To the TARDIS.
We can't. It broke up.
Don't you remember?
But youkeep saying
the same things.
The TARDIS broke up.
Then, it's true. They're not real.
They've been turned into fiction.
What's this?
The master tape!
I wonder
Perhaps if I were to create
a few immortal words of fiction of
my own
Yes. It's worth trying.
What I need is the strength
of Karkus.
I am at your command!
Oh, thank you, my dear sir.
Perhaps you could release this
for me.
This is what you want?
No. I want to get down here somehow.
Ah. Wait. Oh, thank you.
Jamie.
Jamie, Zoe.
You are being controlled.
Jamie, listen. Listen.
Oh, it's no use.
A rope.
Oh, thank you. Ouch! Careful.
Oh. Yes, of course.
You are the Princess Rapunzel.
Are you a prince?
No, I'm afraid not.
Would you mind if I used your hair
to get down there?
No, of course not.
Everybody else uses it.
Thank you. Where can we attach
the? Oh, yes, of course.
KEYS CLACK
Yes, yes. Go on!
The enemy had been finally defeated
by the Doctor.
No, no. I can't say that.
If I say that
I nearly fell for it.
Another two seconds, and I should
have turned myself into fiction!
Halt.
Now we shall play games no longer.
I'm very obliged to you both.
Always happy to be of assistance.
Jamie and Zoe. I left them here.
Where are they? Jamie! Zoe!
They had to make a departure.
It was necessary.
They'll be back soon.
What's been happening?
You must have SOME idea.
Is it a game?
Please! Please! I must think!
There must be a way out of this.
There's GOT to be.
"Jamie and Zoe realised at last
"that the Doctor was, in fact,
"the most monstrous and cunning
villain.
"There was no punishment too severe
"for the crimes that he had
committed."
Splendid. Splendid.
Come closer, my children.
You sent for us, Master?
Now you know what the Doctor
is really like, don't you?
He's the most monstrous and cunning
villain.
No punishment
is too severe for his crimes.
Word perfect. That is why I sent
for you both
at this moment of crisis.
We need your help. What must we do?
Well
# A pocketful of posies
# A-tishoo. A-tishoo
# We all fall down! #
You are in an unhappy situation.
Is there anything we can do to
help?
I only wish there was. Look!
What's that?!
I never saw it before.
The TARDIS!
Safe and sound!
By all that's wonderful!
Are you ready? The time has come.
The time? To leave!
How did you find the TARDIS?
We'll explain later. Come on!
Just as I was thinking
that all was over.
Oh, no.
It's not over yet, Doctor.
Not yet.
THEY LAUGH
Agh! Jamie! Zoe!
THEY LAUGH
What's happening?!
The children obeyed perfectly.
Their mission is completed.
Now perhaps we can get down to
business.
As you refused
to take over at the controls,
we were forced to incorporate you
into the computer.
To what purpose?
To bring planet Earth under our
control.
And its people?
We have no wish to destroy them.
Merely adjust their minds
to suit our purpose.
Sausages. Man would become like
a string of sausages - all the same.
Man will simply vanish from
the Earth and reappear here.
Leaving Earth undamaged and
uninhabited for you to take over.
Precisely. If I co-operate.
You have no alternative.
You are part of the Master Brain.
So the computer
feeds off my thoughts, does it?
Correct.
Then, it will create what I think.
Oh, no. No. You're now under control
of the Master Brain.
Are you so sure? You couldn't
control my mind before
and you can't control it now.
Submit! No!
You've given me equal power. It's a
battle of wits between you and me.
Oh, no. No. No!
Stop. Stop.
Jamie, Zoe.
Can you hear me? Think
for yourselves. Don't be afraid.
You CAN open the book.
Go on, you can do it.
Oh. Oh, dear.
This is against everything
we ever worked for.
Warning, warning!
WHIRRING
Emergency action.
Emergency. Emergency!
Don't worry about fiction. Hang on
to real life. You've got to get out.
Calling white robots.
Guards will enter the control
centre.
The Master Brain must be protected.
What IS it? What are you saying?
A game?
We are not in the same service.
You're going away from us.
Push, Zoe. Push hard.
We WILL get out.
Soldiers! To the roof. Immediately!
Jamie, Zoe, concentrate.
You've got to get out of there.
Now push. Harder!
Harder!
Splendid!
Soldiers, forward!
Seize them. Destroy them.
No! Jamie, Zoe, run.
Get back, Zoe!
Can't you help us?
We obey our creator. That is all
that can be expected
of any character, unless the Master
says otherwise.
And now, Doctor, obey me.
No!
Suddenly the Karkus
came to their rescue.
I am at your command.
He raised his anti-molecular
disintegrator gun
and destroyed the soldiers.
No! But the Karkus realised his
mistake,
and turned back to face his real
enemies, Jamie and Zoe.
What's he doing? Duck, Zoe!
With Jamie and Zoe firmly in his
sights,
the Karkus pressed the trigger
of his gun.
But all the power had been used up
on the soldiers and it was useless.
Ooh, you'll have to do better than
that!
Suddenly, a swashbuckling figure
appeared.
Poet and swordsman,
the famous Cyrano de Bergerac.
Remorselessly, Cyrano advanced
on those
who had dared to poke fun
at his nose.
But wait.
He found himself face-to-face
with the fearless musketeer
and fearless swordsman, D'Artagnan.
Jamie, Zoe, get away from there!
Come on, Zoe.
Princess Rapunzel, can we use
your hair again? Of course.
Why are we going down there?
We've got to find the Doctor.
Stop them. Substitute cutlass for
rapier. Cancel Cyrano.
Blackbeard the Pirate.
Cancel D'Artagnan.
Substitute Sir Lancelot
in full armour.
This way.
The Doctor is expendable.
Expendable. He will be destroyed.
Oh, no, no. He's the only person.
There's nobody else.
I can't go on for ever.
Please give me another chance.
You have failed.
The Master Brain must be protected
against overloading.
Robot force will deal with him.
Change robot weapon
to destructor beam.
BUZZING, WHIRRING
Remove him.
Oh, my goodness.
Uh, asas the white robots
advanced on the Doc
No, I can't say that!
I can't say that.
No, Doctor.
You can't save yourself this time.
Bring him out.
What can we do?
We can't fight those brutes.
No, but the computer
must control everything,
the robots included.
The Master said it must be protected
against overloading.
It is a pity that we have to destroy
such an intelligent mind as yours,
Doctor,
but you leave us no alternative.
Disintegrate.
SCREECHING, BEEPING, WHIRRING
Stop them!
They will overload the Master Brain!
Destroy them. Destroy!
Zoe, duck!
BANGING, EXPLOSIONS
Zoe? Jamie? Oh, my goodness!
Shouldn't we go?
Yes. Jamie, give me a hand.
What do you want to bring him for?
Don't argue, Jamie, give me a hand.
I don't see why we had to bring him.
He caused all this trouble.
Are you all right, sir?
I'm not altogether sure where I am.
Is this the office
of the Ensign magazine?
You were kidnapped, like we were.
They've been using your mind.
What happens to us now?
That depends on the white robots.
Their last order was to destroy.
Let's hope they're destroying
one another.
What about the Karkus
and Gulliver and our friends?
You can't blow up a fictional
character.
But what about us, though?
We'll have to hope the destruction
of the computer returns us all to
reality.
Do you mean I'm going home?
I hope so.
But it could just as well
send us into oblivion.
Vanish for ever?!
We shall soon know.
Hang on. Here it comes.
Oh, that was scary.
Those clockwork soldiers gave me
the shivers.
Still, we got away by the skin of
our teeth.
The story of our lives.
And you've got a different face.
Sorry about that. Aye.
Maybe we should go back there, swap
this old one for a new one.
No chance.
You look very distinguished.
Ah, thank you.
Well, who'd have thought, president
and a Highlander sharing stories.
I can get used to this.
Well, we can't stay here forever,
Jamie. There's people who need us.
But suppose we went back
and forgot all over again.
Well, whatever this place is, it's
restored our memories, for good.
I think all we need to do,
if we want to come back here,
is to close our eyes
and remember it.
Maybe we're in heaven.
I hope not. I'm a very busy woman.
Oh, so does Madame President
have time for another story?
Go on, then.
Ice Warriors.
Oh, how can I forget those great
lumbering lizards?
And poor Victoria, screamed her
lungs out when she first saw them.
Nearly brought down a mountain.
I wonder if she's still out there
somewhere?
Oh, I bet she is.
I wonder if we all come here
eventually?
All the Doctor's friends?
I hope she had a nice life.
I'm sure she did.
I bet she thought of you every
single day.
Because there's one thing I know for
sure,
I will never, ever forget this
again.