Dolly Parton's Heartstrings (2019) s01e02 Episode Script

1 Oh, Lordy.
Looking through these old records here at Dollywood sure brings back a lot of memories for me.
Back in 1977, when I wrote the song "Two Doors Down", I was out on the road and we were laughing and drinking and having a party, but it wasn't always fun.
And being gone all that time from my home and family, well, that was tough.
Well, what I found out on the road was a whole new family, with bands and crews that were made up of all kinds of people who were different colors, gay, lesbian, transgender, and all different faiths.
But it didn't matter as long as we all loved each other and got along.
And we did and we still do, because what it all comes down to is love is love, in road families and in real families.
Now, life might not always be a party, but you are better off if you can just enjoy yourself, have fun, and accept and love the people around you.
So, if you're feeling low and down in the dumps have faith that there can always be happiness just as close as two doors down.
Enjoy.
Two doors down they're laughing and drinking and having a party But two doors down they're not aware that I'm around But here I am just crying my heart out, feeling sorry But they're having a party just two doors down So I think I'll dry these useless tears and get myself together Hey, Mom.
How you been doing for the last five minutes? Now, don't be a smart-aleck.
I need you to text me the band's playlist for the reception.
Hmm? But only when you come to a safe stop.
Lee put me in charge of the music and I promise y'all are gonna be blown away.
You trust me, right sis? Lee? Hello? A thousand percent, Ty, but only with the music.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Figure it out, little bro.
Oh, don't pay your sister any mind.
For a girl about to have the happiest day of her life she does not seem to appreciate that some of us would have given our eye teeth for a shindig wedding like this one.
Hey, Tyler, did you know since you're Digby's best man you and I get to walk down the aisle together? Arm in arm.
Let's lay off the bubbly, all right, Mim.
Why are we stopping? - All right everybody, first team in.
- Oh, sweetheart.
Lee! Look, they're shooting a movie.
No use looking back, sweet pea.
You told tell me you gave that foolishness up.
I sure did.
That's a good thing, 'cause play-acting for money, well, that's just this side of street walking.
Uh, hey, y'all, I'm still here.
Just in case this is a private conversation.
Oh, don't be silly, son.
No secrets in this family.
And I cannot wait to see you.
Uh, I wish you'd make a New Year's resolution to come home more.
Athens isn't that far.
You know how crazy my job is.
Are you gettin' close to the hotel? Yeah, I'm pulling in right now.
See you in a sec.
Hey, Mom.
Hey, Ty.
Oh, sweetie.
I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays.
It's been two Sundays, Mom.
That's about the same, isn't it? Hey, Tyler.
- God.
- Hey, Mim.
- One sec.
- Will somebody please get her a Starbucks, or a 7-Up, or something? Leelee.
What's going on? You mad at me? More like disappointed.
Y'all totally undersold this limo.
Dad rented it, isn't it a hoot? Yeah, well, I say elegant and their father hears hoot.
Hey, man.
How's it going? Hey.
Long time.
Oh, Cole, did the cake arrive? Just signed for it.
And those bottles of Rombauer Chardonnay are in all your Foundation people's rooms.
Guaranteed to impress.
- Always making me look good.
- I do try.
Uh, here's y'all's keys.
And Mable Lee - Don't.
- Wait 'til you see the bridal suite.
Can somebody help me up? I'd be happy to roll you in, miss.
I'm gonna be "instagramming" the shit out of this whole weekend.
There's no wonder she's single with that mouth.
While you are you guaranteed a lot of attention from the ladies and brother of the bride.
I have given my gay, Cole, your Christmas sizes.
- Asked him to do a lil' shopping for you.
- You did what? It's the one thing the gays are good for, right? Fashion.
Thanks, Mom.
Oh, heaven strike me dead! I told him to bring the Land Rover.
The man loves that old Blazer, Mom.
Why he has to act like he doesn't have two nickels to rub together, it's pure enigma.
Hmm.
Look who's there.
It's good to lay eyes on you, son.
- You too, Dad.
- You look great.
Thank you.
Hey, hey, look who's not late.
Well, we noticed, Roy.
And you might be invisible to the deer in that camo, but not to me.
Or anyone else around here.
Duly noted, dear.
To ignore her is to love her.
They can valet the old truck there, but don't wash it.
Cole, what are you doing in here? Relax, Ty.
Your mom has me queer eyeing you, remember? And I made sure to put your folks two doors down and around the corner, so I can sneak in here at night.
But you have to be a ninja.
Fine.
But I got to tell you, after last weekend, getting to show you off to my parents, it sucks going back to all this sneaking around.
And you know my folks aren't exactly woke.
Okay, your parents got us matching pajamas for Christmas.
Mine will probably give us gift cards to a conversion clinic.
Your mom might surprise you.
She worships me, and why wouldn't she? Until you're not around, then she calls you, "My gay, Cole".
- She does? - Yeah, she does.
When marriage equality happened she told me it was the end of the world, so, yeah.
I'm going to come out, but it's going to be dicey.
And it always will be, Ty.
Between your mom's ordeal, your dad's manly manness, and Lee's big fat hetero wedding, it's easy to make excuses.
But there's no excuse when it comes to Lee.
You know she'll be totally cool with it.
She's been giving me grief today for some reason.
You two are besties, do you know what's up with her? No, but if I were to guess, uh, she might be wondering what's up with you.
Uh, so if you were to tell her what's really going on in your life it might just be the best wedding gift ever.
Oh no, you didn't? I did, but only after she found out.
Found out? She ambushed me at my apartment last night.
- What? - To give me my Christmas gift, and then when I went to get us some wine my my screensaver kicked in with all our pictures.
- Our pictures are your screensaver? - On my iMac at my apartment.
Not my work laptop or even my phone.
No, no, no, no, not the ones when I dragged you camping at Sweetwater? South Georgia Pride? Skinny dipping at Lake Lanier? - Cole, you should have told me.
- Well, I'm telling you now.
Besides, she made me swear on my cat's life not to, because she says you owe it to her to tell her yourself.
And you do, Ty.
Baby, she loves you and she wants you to trust her.
I know.
I love her too.
And thanks to me you now have the perfect coming outfit.
You're welcome.
- Okay, fine.
I'll do it.
I'll tell her.
- Yay! But remember, do not tell her I told you I told her, - because she told me not to tell you.
- Got it sort of.
Ty, son, it's your mama.
Go.
This is so literal.
Hey, Mom.
Oh, look how spiffy you look.
Cole, must've gotten to you.
Did he ever.
Listen, I was just about to go see Lee, so What's your hurry? I've got a little present for you.
- Present? - Mm-hmm.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, yeah.
Wow, that's super cool.
That was your Granddaddy Culpepper's.
I always believed you got your love of music from him.
I mean, he was the church choir director and probably would have hated most of what you listen to, but I got pretty eclectic taste, Mom.
You might be surprised by what all I'm into.
I'm teasing.
My daddy wore that when he married my mama.
Said it was his good-luck charm.
And, since I gave Lee Mama's dress, same one I wore when I married your daddy at that old courthouse in Winder I wanted you to have a family heirloom to wear when you get married, too.
Hmm.
I, uh admit that my ordeal last year reduced me to a, uh, sentimental puddle, but it sure would do my poor cold heart good to see both my kids married and happy with grandbabies.
- Yeah, Ma, about that - Oh, now.
Don't be jealous 'cause your daddy and I are helping Lee and Digby get started.
We'd do the same for you, except you don't need it.
We're so proud of you.
And I am so proud of you.
But, um, I really should finish getting ready.
Go see Lee.
Why don't I meet you downstairs? Oh.
Uh, hey, Ty.
I was just coming to say - Uh, uh, uh, uh, no.
- Okay.
Bye, y'all.
"Mrs.
Haygood"? Mom bought it for me before I told her I was keeping my name.
One of many such fun conversations.
Come here.
Talk to me.
I'm just so overwhelmed by all this wedding crap I never wanted in the first place.
Remember when were just supposed to get married on the beach at St.
Simons? Forever ago.
Yeah.
And now, Mom's hell-bent on outdoing the royal wedding.
I mean, she knows how shy I could be.
When I was seven, she actually took me to the doctor because she thought I had a disability.
But acting changed all that.
I get to be someone else, but here all eyes are on the real me.
I like the real you.
So, when are you gonna tell them? Ugh.
New Year's brunch, right after I show Mom how wrong she's been about me, and right before you and I bolt for our honeymoon, so she can't kill me.
Oh, it's Dad again.
They must still be on the ground in Boston.
You go ahead.
I'm going to need a while for my next costume change.
Hey, Dad.
You best get showered.
You probably smell like deer and beer.
- It won't take me ten minutes.
- Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
No, no, no, no.
Your room's in here.
Hmm.
I thought Cole made the reservations? He did.
You tell him the real reason we need two rooms? I told him the same thing we told the kids about our arrangement at home.
Between my hot flashes and your restless leg syndrome, we're like two cats trapped in a bag.
That's one way of putting it.
I told you to drive the Land Rover and you roll up in that rust-bucket looking like a hobo.
Well, I had to between driving all the way to Sandy Springs to switch cars or being on time.
I figured I'd catch hell either way, so I opted for comfort.
You did that on purpose, like renting that white trash limo.
I'll wager Lee thought it was a hoot, though.
She did, didn't she? She did.
I am sick and tired of fighting, Roy.
So once we get through Lee's wedding, we can go to counseling or get a divorce or murder each other.
Whatever.
But right now, this weekend, belongs to our baby girl.
It's looks to me like it's more about you, Meli.
You and all those fancy society ladies you're trying to impress.
It's how you improve your standing in the community.
But that's something you simply wouldn't understand, because you have never attended a single Foundation meeting with me, so How about we just drop it, hmm? I will if you can.
Hey.
Whoa! Did Pinterest throw up in here? Okay, look, um there's something I have been dying to tell you.
Uh, something that's taken me a little while to figure out for myself.
Uh, But seeing you and Digby together so happy has made me realize that I'm happy, too.
So happy one might even say that I am gay.
- Oh.
- Oh, my God, Ty.
I'm so proud of you.
- Thanks.
- Thank you for telling me.
- Let's celebrate.
- Please.
Woo.
Now, what took you so long? Well, part of it is you still living at home with Mom and Dad.
Until I was ready to come out to them, it didn't feel right asking you I'm sorry, did you just say that you're ready - to come out to Mom and Dad? - Not right now, obviously.
It's your weekend, but, uh, soon.
I was kinda hoping you could help me figure out how.
- I'm thinking if I start with Mom - No! Uh-uh! Start with Dad.
I mean, he won't be happy, but at least he won't stick his head in the oven.
I kinda owe it to Mom to tell her first 'cause Well, 'cause there's a teeny complication.
Oh, yeah, I know.
And props to you, little bro.
You must be some hot stuff to drag Cole Ellis into your closet.
I have no idea Oh, come on, Ty.
I know you're only here because he told you that I got an eyeful of y'all's photos.
Something I'll never unsee, by the way.
- Yeah, sorry.
- Uh, this thing.
Oh, here.
Let me, let me.
So, how does it work for you and Cole? I mean, him being in Atlanta and you being in Athens? Well, we grab what time we can, plus a lot of driving.
Well, whatever you decide with Mom and Dad, just know that I got your back, okay? I also have something I haven't told Mom and Dad, um Oh, what is it? Is everything okay? Yeah.
Yeah.
Um It's just, uh Well, you know how Mom hasn't exactly been supportive of my acting.
I want to be free to pursue it without any of her negativity.
So, when Digby and I get back from Maui we are moving to LA.
Oh, wow, Lee.
That That's, um I thought you'd be happy for me.
I am, I swear.
It's just Oh, Mom's gonna kill me for telling you this.
Their wedding gift to you in Digby they bought y'all a house.
Oh, my God.
In Sandy Springs.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
No.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
- Okay.
Just stay calm, uh - Oh, my God.
- Club soda.
Club soda.
- It's ruined.
No.
- How do we fix this? - Every little - Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- Club soda and, um - Towels.
We need some towels.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, no.
It's ruined.
What do we do? - Mom is gonna lose her - No.
Not if she doesn't see.
- Hey, we got this.
We got this.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- We're good.
We're good.
- I don't know.
- Oh, my God.
- Put some under the skirt - and we will soak it up from the inside.
- Okay.
- Okay? Okay.
- Okay.
- Yeah, look.
- No, it's not getting better.
- Lee? Digby? - Oh, my God, No! God, she is everywhere! - I'm coming in, hon.
- Gosh! Oh, my Lord in heaven.
What on God's green earth have y'all done to my poor dead mama's dress? No.
- Oh - I We were rubbing Lambrusco in, and then club soda, and then my bracelet was - So it was an accident? - I I can't breathe.
- Yeah.
- All right.
All right.
- Just breathe.
I'm breathing.
- Okay.
- We're all breathing.
- Okay.
It's just an old dress, and an heirloom some might say, but it - It's not the end of the world.
- Yeah.
We've survived worse.
- Now, Mama's going to take care of this.
- Okay.
Tyler, you go down and tell everybody we're pushing back the rehearsal an hour.
- Oh, best make it an hour and a half.
- What about the dress? No, don't worry, if anybody can handle a couture crisis it's my gay, Cole.
- Okay.
- We have a situation.
Cole, you are a miracle worker.
I just Googled bridal shops near me.
Yeah, but Google didn't call this nice lady and get her to open up her shop the day before New Year's Eve.
That's true.
I'll open at 3:00 a.
m.
for a fifty percent markup.
A fifty percent.
Take your time.
Oh, I see.
Lee, you look beautiful.
Classically understated I'd say.
It's kind of plain.
Well, Cole likes it.
Well, Cole doesn't have to wear it.
Do you like it? It's fine.
It works.
Lee, sweet pea.
You have got to learn to assert yourself more.
If you don't like it we'll try another, until you're happy.
Happy is such an inadequate word for what I'm feeling right now.
Oh, I got to get that.
Ooh, it's your Aunt Gloria.
Where are you at now? Maybe Ty will get the hint if he sees me in this on my Instagram.
I hate to break it to you, Mim, but, uh I'm pretty sure Ty seeing someone.
And from way he talked, it sounds pretty serious.
Not that Sophie or Bijou? Yeah, no.
Definitely not them.
Hmph.
Did Tyler finally tell you? Yes, and I know you were the one who told him to tell me, so from now on no more secrets.
Oh, really? What about your little secret that starts with an L and ends with an A? I really can't talk about that right now.
Ty just told me that I swear my sister is as selfish as an old tomcat.
I told her we lost Mama's dress, and it would be so nice if you could have Mama's ring.
But no.
No.
I just hope that Renee hasn't done anything weird with her bridesmaid dress.
- Renee is Wren now, Mom.
- Ugh.
And it's their bridesmates dress.
Bridesmate? That just sounds like more of that LBTG X Y Z nonsense to me.
My sister has got to stop coddling that daughter of hers.
You give me one week with your cousin and I'll straighten her right out.
Actually, Wren's Gloria's child, and your nibbling.
I'm doing what? Nibbling, it's the gender-neutral term for a niece or nephew who is gender non-binary like Wren.
You call her whatever PC word you want, I call her confused.
And I thank the Good Lord I was blessed with two normal kids.
So, you decided? Yes.
All right.
Well, you better get changed or you're liable to miss your own rehearsal.
Yeah, you and Ty might wanna fix up that closet and settle in.
Sure is Christmasy.
You're awful quiet, Leelee.
Reminds me of when you were little.
Yeah, me too.
I guess I just I didn't realize how uncomfortable I was going to be in the spotlight like this.
I told your Mom to let y'all have it on the beach like you wanted, but you know she is.
I know, but, I mean, planning this was the only thing that made her happy last year and I went along with it.
Now Do we even know any of these people? Maybe a couple.
And this is the rehearsal, not the ceremony, right? Afraid so.
Come on.
You know your mom loves putting on the dog.
Lord, at least there's a bar.
Can I get you anything, sweetheart? No, I'll be fine.
Good.
I think.
Maybel Lee Meegers, get over here.
- Can I steal him? - Hey, Lee.
Yeah.
See you.
Stay with me.
You look absolutely amazing, kiddo.
You must be this Digby guy that I've heard about.
And you must be the famous Aunt Gloria.
More like infamous, if you ask your future mother-in-law.
Gloria, you know I like to tease my little sister.
Mm-hmm.
Listen, I was just about to tell your Mom, Wren and I talked it over in the car and you're right, Lee should have Mom's ring.
Oh, Gloria, are you sure? After three failed marriages, I got more use out of it than luck.
- Three failed marriages? - Yeah.
Wow, uh I also wanted to thank you for including Wren in the wedding party.
Between us, I was worried there might be an issue with the bridesmaids dresses being too feminine.
- Yeah.
- But Lee and Wren worked it out together.
So they're both happy.
- Isn't that lovely? - Yeah, ever so.
Y'all excuse me.
Oh, hey, man.
This outfit's working a little too well, the ladies are all over me.
Uh, well, they aren't the only ones who want to jump you.
Thanks for telling Lee.
It feels so great to finally be out to her.
But what else did you say to her? I need a drink.
Champagne, please.
Oh, looky.
Cousin Wren has landed.
Good for them and all, but that is not going to help sway my folks to our side of the rainbow.
Oh, really, Amelia? At least Wren's living that life loud and proud.
- I just mean - Guys! - I'm pretty sure you meant when you said.
- Hey, Tyler.
Oh, but hey, your beards beckon.
Wren, you made it.
Yeah, I hope that this is okay It's fabulous, and mine is the only opinion that matters.
- I'm Cole.
- Wren.
Pleasure.
- Is that one of the bridesmaids? - The bridesmate.
Well, that's my nibbling, Wren.
Nibbling? Oh, that's a niece or nephew who's gender non-binary.
It' a modern world, y'all.
Excuse me.
All righty, it's rehearsal time, all.
All right, you two, big smiles.
Look, there she is.
Here we go honey.
Are you gonna make it? Hey, young man.
There you go.
Now, give Lee to Digby.
- Now come sit by me.
- I know, my dear.
- Come on, Daddy.
- Okay.
All righty.
One, two, three.
I'll make my opening remarks, blah blah blah, - and then I'll ask who gives this woman - No, um Sorry, didn't you get my email? We We changed that part.
We're asking both sets of parents for their blessings.
Email? I didn't get no email.
It's nothing.
It's It's just a few changes.
Changes? Don't mind me, I'm just the mother of the bride.
Why don't y'all just skip to the vows then.
All righty.
Uh, Digby, repeat after me.
- I Digby, take thee - No, no, no, um - We wrote our own.
- Since when? Since we did, Mom.
Well, then let's hear them.
You'll hear them tomorrow.
She does not seem to appreciate that some of us Sweet pea, you have got to learn to assert yourself.
Sweetie? They bought y'all a house.
- Starts with an L and ends with an A.
- Sweetheart? - Mom will visit you and Digby all the time.
- Tomorrow is the big day.
- Lee? - I've had three failed marriages - You okay? - You don't look so good.
When are you gonna tell them? Play-acting for money, well, that's just this side of street walking.
Why'd you have to be so secretive? I'm not the only one with secrets! I mean, did y'all know Tyler is gay? Ah Oh, my God, Ty.
I'm I'm so sorry.
- Sweet pea.
- Lee.
Uh, well I guess the stress of this old wedding's been a little much for our Leelee, so, uh, why don't you all go into the honeysuckle room for dinner.
We will be there in a moment.
Just make sure everyone sits in the right seat and everything.
Where did she go? Did you see where she went? Leave her be, Meli.
Maybe we should call Dr.
Tuckerman.
I say this thing on The Today Show about panic attacks, and that sure looked like one.
Uh, they said they can make people talk real crazy too.
That's all that was, you know that, Ty.
Leelee didn't mean that.
Is there something you want to say to us, son? Lee wasn't talking crazy, she was telling the truth.
I'm gay.
Maybe Dr.
Tuckerman could prescribe something - to help calm Lee's nerves.
- Mom, listen.
No, son, you listen.
You are not that way.
And your sister's wedding is no time for such nonsense.
Please don't call it nonsense.
And Lee didn't give me a choice.
Choice? What about the choice to let your daddy and me go to our graves without ever hearing this? - Meli, knock it off.
- Don't tell me to knock it off, Roy.
This whole entire family has got to get its shit together.
You heard me, "shit".
Shit.
Shit! Shit! Let's, uh, go somewhere we can talk, son.
All right.
You always were a show-off.
- You taught me, Dad.
- Be gentle now, that trigger's loose.
So much as look at her wrong, she's liable to go off.
Kind of like Mom.
Yeah.
All right, here we go.
Do you remember your first gun? Uh, Buck Model 105 air rifle.
I was nine.
You were a good shot right out of the gate, too.
And, uh one day you come running to the house crying so hard I could hardly understand a word you were saying.
It was you'd shot a blue jay.
I knew right then you weren't going to be much of a hunting partner.
But I also know you had a good heart.
And, uh watching you grow up, I guess, I I'll admit I had a sense about you, son, and Can't you say I was looking forward to this day.
Sorry to say.
But I promised myself if it ever came I would look you in the eye and tell you that I loved you.
And I do.
There is no doubt about that.
- Dad.
- Son.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Just one question.
Are you happy? I'd be a lot happier if Mom wasn't so upset.
Just give her time.
Love is not a light switch.
Now, go on.
It's your shot.
Say, earlier when Mom said that this whole family needed to get our Shit together.
Yeah.
She meant that you aren't the only one who's been hiding a secret.
Oh, she's not sick again, is she? Our health's are good, praise the Lord.
But, uh your mom and I are going through a rough patch.
How long have you two? Ever since we moved to Sandy Springs and she started running around with those, uh, society people.
Don't get me wrong, I admire her charity working and all.
And I'm more than happy to share her blessings, but it it changed her, son.
You know what really chaps my butt? I may not want to go to those black tie things and whatnot, but she's never even once asked me to.
Like she's ashamed of me.
And then her ordeal came along.
Man, oh, man, did that send her into overdrive.
Let me see that gun.
Yeah.
Good to get things off your chest.
It's not fun keeping things from your loved ones.
Look who you're talking to.
Let's line 'em up.
I'm not quite ready to go home yet.
All right.
You know, your granny used to call your kind crazy old bachelors, and said, uh, every family needed one.
She was She was a mess.
Oh sh son! Leelee? Sweet pea? - Where is she? - She's not here.
What do you mean Lee's not here? Digby took her somewhere.
Not sure where.
She'll be fine.
How you holding up? Honestly, I feel like I'm waltzing through a mine field.
Cole.
How does a person know they are gay? Same way you know you're not.
We're all just who we are.
You know, we think of you as family.
I will admit, when Lee first brought you around I didn't know what to make of you.
But I'm glad she talked me into hiring you.
And now that I've gotten to know you I realize you're mostly like normal people.
Except more colorful.
Do you also realize what a mostly offensive backhanded compliment that is? You know what I mean.
You're the real deal.
Like you just said, you are who you are and who you are is gay as the night is long.
And that's fine, for you.
But Tyler I just can't picture him choosing that lifestyle.
Maybe You could talk some sense into him.
Well, you, being a real gay man, and all.
Uh, You want me to try to convince your son that he only thinks he's gay? Because why? Because that's the worst thing that could happen to a person? I'm in uncharted waters, Cole.
I'm trying to understand.
Well, then, understand that being gay isn't choosing a lifestyle.
And that it can be both colorful and normal.
And yes, Ty can be like that without acting like he's trying to win RuPaul's Drag Race.
That's my son we're talking about, Cole.
My baby boy.
Then accepting him should be the easiest thing in the world.
Looks to me like he wasn't planning to come out to you at all, Amelia.
Probably 'cause he knows how you think.
- What - I guess I knew too, but hearing it all out loud like this Well, it's toxic.
What? You know? I don't want to be around that anymore.
What? What are you talking about? I'm saying, I'll help you and Lee get through this wedding but after that, I'm making some changes in the new year.
Roy, where in the sam Oh, my Lord.
Roy shot Tyler.
- Cole, what are you doing here? - Please, tell me you're okay, Ty.
Dad only grazed me.
Just be glad he's not as good a shot as I am.
An old gun just went off on its own.
Lord, God, I wasn't trying to hit you, son.
Sorry, Dad.
I'm joking, too soon? A little bit.
Hey, Cole.
Hey.
It certainly is raining surprises tonight.
Oh, my God, this is all my fault.
No, it's not.
I am absolutely one hundred percent way okay.
I'm so sorry.
I mean, it was just, everybody was staring at me and I just I wanted it to stop and I freaked out.
Whoa.
You all right, son? What have they got you drugged up on? Uh, something trippy.
Is it just me or does that vampire look like? Come on, wannabe-Buffy, that improvised cross thing is such a cheesy trope.
Challenge yourself.
Okay.
Let's work on your tan.
Finally, I was too weak to do it on my own, but now you've assisted in my suicide.
my first sunrise in 200 years and now my last, and it's divine.
Why do I get the feeling I'm the last one to know about this.
You told me you gave up that acting nonsense.
Only so you would stop nagging me about it.
- Nagging? - Yes! And I was going to show you this at New Year's brunch, to prove to you that I'm not I'm not wasting my time, and I'm not a street walker.
I know y'all bought us a house and all, but Dig and I are moving to Los Angeles.
Roy will you go get that old rifle and just shoot me dead? - Come on now.
- Amelia.
Well, you had your target practice with Ty.
So, just go on and take me right on out.
Thanks for the support, Mom.
You're 0-for-2 tonight.
Come on, Dig.
Sweet pea, just Los Angeles.
They're going to raise our grandbabies out there.
Lord.
Lord I still don't understand why she wouldn't tell me about that silly vampire show.
- It's just ridiculous.
- You even hear yourself? What? Well then, missy, you need to take a long look in the mirror, see if you recognize the woman looking back, 'cause I sure as hell don't.
Same as I've always been.
Oh, God.
Uh-uh.
No, ma'am.
What is that supposed to mean? Ever since our business took off I've watched that sweet little country girl I married turn into a bossy old peacock.
Pretending to be somebody you're not, Meli.
And then you pressure our kids into being who they're not.
And for the record, our gay son, Tyler, yeah, our gay son, Tyler, might be the most well-adjusted of us all.
Well, I saw you fussing over him tonight.
I wonder where that Roy Meegers was when I was going through my ordeal last year.
Driving you to every appointment, test, and treatment, and making by God sure you took your pills and did what the doctors told you, that's where.
But every time I want to tell you about what I was going through you didn't want to hear.
Roy, what on earth are All right, let's talk about it then.
But maybe now is the time for us both to stop tiptoeing around your "ordeal" and call it what it was.
Ovarian cancer, Meli.
Stage 2A.
Scariest words I heard said out loud in my whole life.
I know you felt the same.
So whenever you tried to talk about it all I could do was say you were going to be fine, because because I I couldn't bear the mere idea that something might happen to the girl that took my breath away.
But you're not without blame, Meli.
Hell, you didn't even tell me when you were in remission, I had to find out from Lee.
You never asked, Roy.
The truth is, I was afraid to.
Afraid? Afraid that it might be bad news and that I'd I'd I'd go to pieces and that wouldn't do you any good, so I just I just never asked.
Here we go.
Okay.
Nope.
No.
You can't fool me.
Do you remember when I was 13 and you showed me Steel Magnolias? Do you remember the scene where Olympia Dukakis says "All gay men have track lighting"? Not as vividly as you, apparently.
I turned to you and I said "I'm pretty sure I like track lighting".
That was my only time testing the waters with you.
And you laughed, and said I had a weird sense of humor and thank the good Lord you hadn't named me Mark, Rick or Steve.
That was enough to lock me in the closet for years.
Tyler, you were too young to even know what track lighting was.
- I'm trying to be honest with you.
- All right then, let's be honest.
I am sorry for what I said earlier, but between you and your sister I was a little out of sorts.
But as far as this thing with Cole is concerned I know his spirit can be infectious.
- And if he was coming after you.
- Mom, the what Flattering you, making you laugh.
I can understand how that might be confusing.
Except it was the other way around.
I went after Cole.
And you got to know, he resisted.
He said it was a bad idea getting involved with his best friend's brother and his boss's son, especially with me not being out.
Then we fell in love.
Oh, Ty.
I saw a program about this therapist who works with confused young people.
- Mom, this is so - I would be happy to pay for it.
- Please.
- Okay, you know what? Mom I got shot tonight, but this hurts more.
I, uh Hey Wren.
Hey.
I, uh, heard your dad hate-crimed you.
Oh, it was just an accident.
I, uh, didn't know if I was gonna get to talk to you this weekend.
I'm used to people avoiding me, so I know what it looks like.
I'm sorry.
I guess I've been a little bit self-absorbed.
And judgy.
I wish I'd been as sure of myself at 15 as you are.
Welcome to the rainbow, cuz.
What? It's just possum.
.
Could be your spirit animal.
How so? Well, to avoid danger and conflict the possum will often play dead, if a possum appears to you and doesn't it's telling you that it's time for you to stop playing dead.
To take life by the horns.
Definitely your spirit animal.
Act like y'all like each other.
Look, actual happy people.
You know, we're paying you for pictures, not color commentary.
Mim, where in the world is Lee? I don't know.
She texted me she was spending the morning with you.
She texted me she was with you and after last night, I wasn't about to Oh, Lord, we got a runaway bride.
- Cole.
- Meli.
I'm right here, Mom.
Where's your new dress? Uh Do y'all mind giving us a minute? - Yeah.
- Oh, sure.
Come on.
Uh, no, Ty, Cole, y'all stay.
Whatever this is, sweet pea, can't it wait till after the ceremony? We just had it, Mom.
Had it? At the courthouse in Winder, like you and Dad.
And we even used Grandmama Culpepper's ring like you wanted.
Oh, come on, Mom.
I mean after everything that's happened, the dress, and my panic attack, and what I did to Ty, Ty getting shot, and the whole Fangs thing, it's just felt like the universe was screaming at us.
I'm sorry.
I know that you always wished that you and Dad could have had this big wedding, but Every time you told me about the courthouse that sounded like the most romantic thing in the world.
Just two people together speaking they're truth from their hearts, and worked out for you two.
I mean, y'all are a perfect couple.
And, um, my agent called me today, and hashtag-suicidal-vampire is trending and the producers want to resurrect her and give her a name and her own storyline.
- What? - So Yay! We're not moving to LA after all.
That's wonderful.
And if the house is still a thing, we would love to live there, but only if you let us pay rent.
Absolutely, sweet pea.
Roy would you announce that the wedding's off? I don't think I could get through it.
Mom, come on, I mean, we still got married.
And we can still have that big reception we planned.
We have so much to celebrate.
Well, y'all go on, I just don't feel like it.
- Mom.
- Meli, please.
Digby? Digby? Digby? Digby, son.
Dad, hey.
Ah, we made it just in time.
Your mom, listen, she'll be right What? Welcome.
Open bar.
What are y'all looking at? Hey, everybody.
Um Well, we, uh, we still had a wedding, just not here.
And, uh, it's still New Year's Eve.
So, uh, let's all let's all go inside and kick up our heels.
What do you say? - Ooh.
- Be careful.
All right, quick, before I feel anything.
- Uh, oh.
Okay.
- Okay? Well to new beginnings.
Why don't you spend tomorrow in Athens with me? I make pretty decent collard greens and black-eyed peas.
And I make killer cornbread right out of the Jiffy mix box.
You know, we have never cooked a real meal together.
We are in a geographically undesirable relationship, Ty.
Whoa, are you are you proposing? I'm proposing something.
Move in with me.
Dude, you live in Athens.
I just closed on that loft yesterday.
We could make it ours instead of just mine.
Come on, timing is perfect.
It's a new year, both finally out, and I'm way out in Athens.
This is a big step.
Huge.
Um you know I love you, but I need to think about this.
I'm sorry.
I almost forgot, my surprise for the reception's here.
I think this might be just what we all need.
I'll meet you downstairs, okay.
- Why are the lights out? - Please welcome Dolly Parton! Well, happy almost New Year, everybody.
- It's Dolly! - Oh, on that dance floor! And congratulations, Lee and Digby.
You want to party? Come on.
Oh, my God.
It's Dolly! - Ah! - Dolly! But here I am just crying my heart out Well, hey now.
Don't mind if I do.
Having a party just two doors down I think I'll dry these useless tears and get myself together I think I'll mosey down the hall and have a look around 'Cause I can't stay inside this lonely room Meli.
Oh Take a good look, Ty.
This is what your mama's love really looks like.
That is a whole mess of love, Mom.
Don't you try and charm me.
Not when my whole life is ruined.
Okay.
The only thing in ruins is your makeup.
Now, you had two goals this weekend, to get Lee married and to find me someone who'll make me happy.
Mission accomplished.
Maybe not exactly the way you pictured it, but still.
How has that ruined your life, Mom? Do I look like I'm in the mood to be reasonable? Okay, fine then.
Listen, do you hear that? What? It's Dolly Parton.
Now, y'all raised us on her music and movies, and you always said even her sad songs could lift your spirits.
Well, what did you do? Get some drag queen to mouth along to Dolly Parton songs? No, Mom.
I got Dolly Parton.
I met her through work.
We hit it off.
I asked, she said yes.
So, you can sit up here and cry your heart out and feel sorry for yourself, or you can come join the party.
Your family needs you, Mom.
Wants you, too.
And that includes Dad.
He told me what y'all been going through.
Did you know that he called me almost every night when you were sick? He didn't want you to know he was falling apart.
He wanted to be strong for you.
So he leaned on me.
He loves you, Mom.
We all do.
You are the heart and soul and personality of this family.
And the one thing last year taught us all is how precious every moment is together.
So fix your face, stop being a mopey old drama queen and get your shit together.
- Oh, get that - Yeah, you heard me.
Shit, shit, shit.
Your words, not mine.
Ah! Dolly, I'm coming! Anybody working a nine to five out there? Come on, help me out.
- You know this one.
- Ty! Oh, my God.
How did you? I I I can't believe it.
- Do you trust me now? - Yes! There he is.
Hey, handsome, can I can I cut in? - Hey.
- I guess.
The never give you credit It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it Nine to five Oh, my stars, it really is Dolly Parton.
Breaking my heart you missing this.
I know you love you some Dolly.
She's not the only one I love.
Come on, let's dance.
- Huh? - Okay, all right.
Baby, baby Baby Baby, I'm burnin' We love you, Dolly! Baby, I'm burnin' Body and soul Hot as a pistol with flaming desire Baby, I'm burning you got me on fire You got me You got me You got me, yeah You got me on fire Oh, oh, oh, oh, two doors down Oh, oh, oh, oh, two doors down - Oh, I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.
Drinking and having a party two doors down They're not aware that I'm around But here I am and I'm feeling everything but sorry We're having our own party two doors down That's right We're having our own party two doors down Woo! Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Hey, Ty.
Hey, why don't you bring your family up here on stage.
- Let me see them in the spotlight.
- Come on.
I want to see that beautiful bride and groom.
Don't be shy.
Get up here.
Ha! Oh, baby, look at you.
- Handsome guy, good to see you.
- That was amazing, Dolly.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Oh, and Mom, I want to see you.
You're the star, really.
Oh, Ty has told me so many things about you.
Oh, my goodness, he has? What did he say? Oh, well, he just told me all kinds of things.
I mean, I can tell there's a lot of love in this whole family, so I wish all of you a happy New Year, and Ty and Cole, I'm proud of you two and I wish you a great life together.
See you at midnight.
Thanks, Dolly.
Well, if y'all have resolutions now is the time to make them.
- No.
- I'll start.
Um Uh, well, y'all already know I love you, and since everybody's coming out I might as well too.
This who I am.
I'm a loud, proud, cake drunk wife and mother, who loves her family so much, drives her to the nut house sometimes.
But I'm going to resolve, right and here now, to be the best mama, and brag all over town about my baby girl the actress.
Oh, sweet pea, you know I love you, and I hope you can forgive me.
For what? Being you? I love you, Mama.
Oh, and Tyler I'll come around.
I promise.
I just ask you to be patient, because you will always, always be my baby boy.
And I will always be, whether you like it or not, your drama queen mama.
I like it just fine.
And Cole, I will be a more open-minded employer, and I beg you, please, please keep your job.
I'm sorry, Ameila, but, uh, it'd be too long a commute.
My resolution is to start a whole new life.
in Athens.
- Really? - Really.
Thank you.
Isn't that cute? And Roy, sweetheart I wanna stop you right there, Meli.
You and I have been through enough, better or worse, sickness and health, to know that we can face anything life throws at us.
Hey, everybody, can I have your attention.
Dolly is back to help us countdown to the New Year.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one Happy New Year! Happy New Year, everybody.
Should old acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind Should old acquaintance be forgot And auld lang syne For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne We'll take a cup o' kindness yet For auld lang syne