Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s01e02 Episode Script
Pop Goes the Ed/Over Your Ed
1
OK, BOYS, IT'S TIME
FOR THE WELCOME
WAGON TO PAY A VISIT.
CAREFUL, ED.
KNOCK, KNOCK.
[BATS HITTING HIVE]
Ed: HUH?
AAH!
Ed and Edd: WHO-O-OA!
[ALL YELLING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
AAH! AAH!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
HMM?
UM, EDDY, COULD WE
DO SOMETHING ELSE?
WHAT'S WITH THIS HEAT?!
SHADE.
I NEED SHADE.
THERE!
AHH.
OW! OW!
Together: SHADE.
SUN.
OH, THIS CAN'T BE GOOD.
WE NEED TO FIND
SOME MORE SHADE FAST.
All: AAH! OH!
AAH! OH!
HEY, I KNOW WHERE
WE CAN COOL OFF.
AND I'M DESPERATE
ENOUGH TO BELIEVE YOU.
All: OW! OOH!
ICE!
I NEED ICE!
HUH?
W-W-W-W-WATER.
H20, PLEASE.
GRAVY.
I'M FRYING.
THE FAT LADY JUST SANG, BOYS.
Ed: MY LIFE IS FLASHING
BEFORE MY EYES.
Eddy: WHAT LIFE?
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
WHAT?
Ed, Edd, and Eddy: UH, NOTHING.
DORKS. DORKS?
KEVIN, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TO NAZZ'S SPRINKLER PARTY.
SPRINKLER PARTY?
WOO-HOO! SPRINKLER PARTY.
HEAR THAT, BOYS?
A CHANCE TO COOL OFF
AND SCORE SOME
SOCIAL POINTS, TOO.
WE HAVE SO MUCH PREPARATION
TO DO. WE'LL START BY
[INAUDIBLE WHISPERING]
IT'S TIME TO PUT THE
PLAN INTO ACTION.
[CHUCKLES]
RELAX, GUYS. DON'T DO ANYTHING I
WOULDN'T. MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.
[CHUCKLING]
HEY, DOUBLE D, SI
ANYWHERE, YOU KNOW.
I'll STAND AS PER USUAL, EDDY.
THANK YOU.
OH, YEAH!
NOW FOR THE SECRE
OF SCHMOOZING,
THE RAPTURE OF RAP,
THE SNAP, CRACKLE, POP OF COOL.
HIRE A SECRETARY, BOYS.
BINGO! NOW, THIS NO PEEKING.
[BOTH WHISTLING]
THIS WILL BE A DAY
YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.
PINCH YOURSELF, BOYS.
SWIMSUITS OF THE GODS.
WELL, OK, THEY'RE MY BROTHER'S.
MY WORD. THEY LOOK LIKE NAPKINS.
COOL BOX, EDDY.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
HA! WHOA!
[NEEDLE SCRATCHES RECORD]
UM PERHAPS THEY'RE
A TAD TOO CONFINING.
NO WAY, JOSE. WE'RE COOKING.
PEOPLE USED TO TRY TO
BE COOL, BUT NOW IT'S HOT.
WE'RE HOT!
DO YOU FEEL HOT?
NO. I'M HALF-BAKED.
OK, OK, SO WE LOOK GOOD.
WE FEEL GOOD.
SO, OFF TO THE PARTY.
WE'RE GOING TO BE HIP.
WE'RE GOING TO BE HOT.
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THE SCENE.
WOW. EVERYONE'S HERE.
LOOKS LIKE FUN.
HANG ON, MR. HAPPY.
WHOA. WHOA. [THUD]
ENTRANCE TO A
PARTY IS EVERYTHING.
LESSON NUMBER
ONE [EDDY YELLING]
AAH!
[CRASH]
[SARCASTICALLY] OH, GREAT.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?
ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?
THEM?
AAH.
MY PENCILED CHEST HAIRS!
GRR!
HEY, CHECK OUT THE
NOW, BOYS, RELAX.
HAVE FUN. IT'S A PARTY.
[GIGGLES]
GET YOUR BIG BUT
OFF THE SPRINKLER.
OOH, YOU!
UM, WHAT IS THAT?
STUFFED PIG'S HEAD
A FAVORITE OF MY COUNTRY.
WELL, I BROUGHT A QUICHE.
MMM! YUMMY!
IT IS THE FOOD OF THE BBBBB!
THE PARTY IS CURSED!
[SOBBING]
DON'T WORRY,
JIMMY. I LIKE QUICHE.
[ED BURPING]
HEY, EDDY! CATCH.
MMM! CHEESY.
UH!
ENOUGH GOOFING AROUND.
IF YOU WANT TO GET NOTICED,
YOU GOT TO MINGLE SCHMOOZE.
LOOK AT THIS MESS.
[JIMMY MUTTERS]
HEY, HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN
ATTACK OF THE ZOMBIE
BRAIN MUNCHERS?
THE OPERATION I SAW
INVOLVED FASCINATING NEW
BRAIN EXTRACTION TECHNIQUES.
BY HIDEOUS MUTANTS
WITH HUGE DROOLING MOUTHS.
SO, PRECAUTIONS HAD TO BE
TAKEN TO AVOID CONTAMINATION.
FROM POPPING EYEBALLS
AND SWELLING BRAINS.
THE INCISION WAS MADE HERE TO
RELIEVE THE TREMENDOUS PRESSURE.
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE.
HIS HEAD EXPLODED.
WITH THE SLICING AND CLEAVING,
THE GNASHING AND THE SEVERING
Ed and Edd: BLOODY! GORY!
[WHIMPERS]
AAH! OOH!
GUYS!
STOP TALKING SHOP.
I SAID MINGLE.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
OH, MUSIC. GREAT.
THIS IS PERFECT.
LET'S MAMBO.
Ed: OK.
HUH? HUH? HUH?
OK, BOYS,
TIME FOR US TO
PULL OFF THE BIG ONE.
OK, I'll GO OVER THE
FENCE, AROUND THE SIDE
[INAUDIBLE WHISPERING]
LADIES AND NON-LADIES,
WE, THE EDs, ARE
ABOUT TO ATTEMPT.
THE MOST DARING FEA
THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN,
THE DOUBLE-GAGGLE,
HALF-TWIST, HOLD THE ONIONS,
CHANGE FOR A BUCK
SPRINKLER LEAP!
[DRUM ROLL]
WOO-HOO-HOO!
All: YEAH!
MMM!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
QUICK! INTO THAT POOL.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?
SOMEONE'S COMING. ACT NATURAL.
QUIT HOGGING THE POOL.
IT'S OUR TURN.
NO, IT ISN'T.
YES, IT IS!
WE ARE NOT MOVING.
ED, GET OUT!
HIT THE ROAD!
[SCREAMS]
PUT AN EGG IN YOUR
SHOE, AND BEAT IT.
OH, COME ON, SARAH. LET'S
LEAVE THESE GUYS ALONE.
THAT WAS CLOSE.
HI, ED, EDD, AND EDDY.
YOU BOYS LOOK COOL.
MIND IF I JOIN YOU?
HMM?
UH, ED HAS GOT 3 NIPPLES,
LIKE THAT BAD GUY IN JAMES BOND.
YOU'RE FUNNY.
UH, WHAT THIRD NIPPLE?
SHOW ME WHERE IT IS.
IT'S RIGHT HERE!
LOOK.
Eddy: GET DOWN!
ARE YOU NUTS?
AAH!
I BELIEVE OUR BODIES
ARE SOAKING UP ALL
THE WATER IN THE POOL.
SHUT UP.
[TEETH CHATTERING]
FIRE GOOD.
W-W-WARM.
SH-SH-SHUT UP.
I THINK THE C-C-COAS
IS CLEAR NOW, E-E-EDDY.
THEN LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
ED ED?
COME ON, ED.
F-F-FIRE G-GOOD.
L-L-LET'S GO.
1 2
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
Ed: WHOA! WHOA!
WHOA!
AAH! RUN! AAH! RUN!
All: OW! OW! OW!
OW! OW! OW
OHH!
STUBBORN GRASS STAIN!
ARGGH!
[EDDY HUMMING]
YEAH! WOO!
WOO-HOO!
[BURPS]
OH, NOW, WHAT DID
I COME IN HERE FOR?
HMM? HA HA.
MAY I HELP?
STAND BACK. LET THE PRO DO IT.
TIME TO QUENCH
THIRST FOR CASH.
WHOA.
1, 2, 3 GRAINS OF SUGAR.
HUH. HMM.
AM I LATE?
JUST IN TIME, ED.
PUT THIS SIGN UP.
LIKE THIS?
NO. HIGHER.
[SNIFFING]
ED, YOU SMELL LIKE A GYM BAG.
WHEN WAS THE LAS
TIME YOU HAD A BATH?
I FORGET.
HMM. SO, DOUBLE D,
THOSE DRINKS READY?
EDDY, PLEASE. I'M
COUNTING THE SUGAR.
HMM.
1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 75, 76, 77.
A PERFECT MEASUREMENT.
LOOK, CAN I HELP?
ADD SOME OF THIS.
PLEASE, ED. THAT'S
TOO MUCH SUGAR.
OK.
[SNIFFING]
GO AWAY, PLEASE. I'll TASTE IT.
[DEEP BREATH]
SMELLY, SMELLY, SMELLY.
HURRY IT UP, DOUBLE D.
AAH!
WHO-OA!
WHOA. LOOK AT HIM GO, EDDY.
[SNIFFS]
WOO-HOO! GREAT BEVERAGE.
HUH? HUH?
CUSTOMERS, EDDY.
CAN I BE THE SALES-ED?
NO WAY. YOU'LL SCREW IT UP.
EDDY, IT CAN'T HURT.
OH.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
[LOUDLY] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
COME BUY A DELICIOUS
COME BUY A DECIDUOUS,
UH EN-O-GEE DRINK.
HELLO!
DORK.
I'M THE SALES-ED.
"EN-O-GEE DRINKS"?
HERE. TRY SOME.
OOPS. I GOT IT.
ED!
UH-OH.
[CHUCKLES]
AAH!
[NAZZ CHUCKLING]
I THINK I'll PASS.
REAL SMOOTH, DORK.
OOH, ED!
HUH?
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?
DRINK, MISTER?
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO WITH YOU?
HOW ABOUT A COMPLETE
IMAGE MAKEOVER?
YEAH.
UNDER MY SUPERVISION,
YOU WILL BECOME THE
DEFINITION OF COOL.
[SNIFFS]
FOLLOW ME, STINKY.
[ED CHUCKLES]
IS SITTING NAKED
IN A WAGON COOL?
NO, SKUNKPITS. IT ISN'T.
YES! YES! YES!
EVERYTHING'S READY.
AAH! COLD.
IS IT SAFE?
YES. SWEET.
VOILA.
WOW. AM I COOL NOW?
NO. YOU'RE NAKED. WE GOT TO
GET YOU SOME NEW THREADS.
WELCOME TO MY CLOSET OF DREAMS.
DOUBLE D, MEASURE HIM UP.
HOLD STILL, PLEASE. UH-HUH.
154.75.
HMM. TOO BOLD.
16. NOT BAD.
225. THIS WILL DO.
UM, HELP.
OK, GRUESOME, TRY THESE.
Ed: WOO-HOO. HA HA.
COME ON, ED. LET'S SEE ALREADY.
Eddy: HEY, NOT BAD.
NEXT, SOME COOL MOVES.
CHA-CHING.
YEAH. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
TRY IT.
HA HA.
NOT BAD.
TRY THIS.
COOL.
Eddy: AAH!
COOL.
GOOD WORK.
THAT'S IT.
OW!
BRAVO, ED.
I'VE COMPILED A LIST OF
SUPERCOOL PHRASES
OOH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE
THAT YOU CAN USE IN ANY
OH, I'M BRILLIANT SITUATION.
SO FAR, SO GOOD.
YOU'RE READY FOR A TEST DRIVE.
JUST STICK TO WHA
WE SHOWED YOU,
AND YOU'LL BE COOL.
YUP. I MEAN, I'M HIP, BABY.
MAKE ME PROUD, BIG GUY.
[JIMMY HUMMING]
SOMEONE'S COMING.
UH, WHA UH [WHISTLING]
HELLO, MISTER.
SWIGGITY SWAG.
WHAT'S IN THE BAG?
ED!
IS EDDY HERE?
[WHIMPERING]
JUST ME, MYSELF,
AND I, OR I DON'T FLY.
[GIGGLES]
Jimmy: COME PLAY WITH US, ED.
SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, LITTLE MAN.
WHOA! IT WORKED.
SOMETHING ACTUALLY WORKED.
LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
YUCK.
YOU'RE FUNNY.
HEY, GUYS. RECOGNIZE
THIS BIG LUG?
IT'S ED.
Kids: HEY.
PEEKABOO-LOO, I SAY ALL, TOO.
ED, YOU LOOK SO SUAVE.
I LIKE YOUR HAIR, ED.
DON'T SMELL IT, JUST GEL IT.
JUST WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
5' 9" GIVE OR TAKE.
[KIDS LAUGHING]
HUH?
[LAUGHS]
COME ON, ED.
I'D LIKE TO HEAR MORE
OF THOSE WITTY ED-ISMS.
YEAH. TELL ME SOME, TOO, ED.
Sarah: COME ON, ED.
Jimmy: TELL ME
SOMETHING, TOO, ED.
Kevin: HANG WITH US, ED.
WOW. DID YOU SEE THAT?
THEY CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HIM.
PERFECT.
[CASH REGISTER DINGS]
[HUMMING]
HA HA!
HEY, EDDY, ARE WE
LATE THE ED SHOW?
NOT IF YOU PAY 25 CENTS.
HERE YOU GO, EDDY.
[CASH REGISTER DINGS]
HOLD IT.
HUH?
PLANK FORGOT TO PAY.
ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED!
ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED!
ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED!
LET ME WAIT NO LONGER.
HIYA, FOLKS!
Kids: YEAH! ALL RIGHT!
WAGGITY-DOO!
I'M TOO HOT TO USE IN A POT.
SLICK ME BACK
BECAUSE I'M HAPPENING.
HA HA! HA HA! HEE HEE!
HEE HEE! HA HA! HA HA!
ED IS A SELLOUT.
WE'LL DING THEM FOR THE ENCORE.
WE FORGOT OUR MONEY.
KANKERS.
Boy: HUH?
Ed: YABBA DABBA CRACKERS.
Tall girl: OOH, ED THE GREAT.
I'M WAITING.
SAY SOMETHING.
YEAH. SAY SOMETHING FUNNY.
FUNNY AND SMART.
UM, UH, OK.
GIVE ME THAT!
"YABBA DABBA."
HEY, YOU'RE CHEATING.
I LIKE CHEATERS.
WHOA!
EDDY!
WHOA.
[ALL GASP]
WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?
[CHUCKLING]
ED, LOOK OUT!
WHOA!
UH.
ED, YOU GOT A SHOW TO DO.
HEY, EDDY.
GET BACK OUT THERE.
Ed: WHOA!
WHOA.
LET US HELP YOU UP.
YEAH. LET'S.
OH.
[KANKERS LAUGHING]
WATCH IT.
OH! OH! OH!
YOU ALL STINK!
YEAH.
DO YOU LIKE MY SHIRT?
HEY, SHAKESPEARES,
GREAT SHOW. WORTH EVERY PENNY.
MY MONEY!
GIVE IT BACK!
HAVE FUN IN THE MUD,
YOU 3 LITTLE PIGGIES.
[SCREAMS]
THANKS AGAIN.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
ALL THAT MONEY, ALL
THAT FAME GONE.
COULD YOU PLEASE
LOWER YOUR VOICE?
THOSE DRINKS LEFT ME WITH
A VERY PAINFUL HEADACHE.
HEY, GUYS.
WHAT IS IT, ED?
I SAY THE CHEESE IS ALWAYS
TWICE THE FENCE POST.
HAD A FENCE POST, ED.
OK, BOYS, IT'S TIME
FOR THE WELCOME
WAGON TO PAY A VISIT.
CAREFUL, ED.
KNOCK, KNOCK.
[BATS HITTING HIVE]
Ed: HUH?
AAH!
Ed and Edd: WHO-O-OA!
[ALL YELLING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
AAH! AAH!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
HMM?
UM, EDDY, COULD WE
DO SOMETHING ELSE?
WHAT'S WITH THIS HEAT?!
SHADE.
I NEED SHADE.
THERE!
AHH.
OW! OW!
Together: SHADE.
SUN.
OH, THIS CAN'T BE GOOD.
WE NEED TO FIND
SOME MORE SHADE FAST.
All: AAH! OH!
AAH! OH!
HEY, I KNOW WHERE
WE CAN COOL OFF.
AND I'M DESPERATE
ENOUGH TO BELIEVE YOU.
All: OW! OOH!
ICE!
I NEED ICE!
HUH?
W-W-W-W-WATER.
H20, PLEASE.
GRAVY.
I'M FRYING.
THE FAT LADY JUST SANG, BOYS.
Ed: MY LIFE IS FLASHING
BEFORE MY EYES.
Eddy: WHAT LIFE?
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
WHAT?
Ed, Edd, and Eddy: UH, NOTHING.
DORKS. DORKS?
KEVIN, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TO NAZZ'S SPRINKLER PARTY.
SPRINKLER PARTY?
WOO-HOO! SPRINKLER PARTY.
HEAR THAT, BOYS?
A CHANCE TO COOL OFF
AND SCORE SOME
SOCIAL POINTS, TOO.
WE HAVE SO MUCH PREPARATION
TO DO. WE'LL START BY
[INAUDIBLE WHISPERING]
IT'S TIME TO PUT THE
PLAN INTO ACTION.
[CHUCKLES]
RELAX, GUYS. DON'T DO ANYTHING I
WOULDN'T. MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME.
[CHUCKLING]
HEY, DOUBLE D, SI
ANYWHERE, YOU KNOW.
I'll STAND AS PER USUAL, EDDY.
THANK YOU.
OH, YEAH!
NOW FOR THE SECRE
OF SCHMOOZING,
THE RAPTURE OF RAP,
THE SNAP, CRACKLE, POP OF COOL.
HIRE A SECRETARY, BOYS.
BINGO! NOW, THIS NO PEEKING.
[BOTH WHISTLING]
THIS WILL BE A DAY
YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.
PINCH YOURSELF, BOYS.
SWIMSUITS OF THE GODS.
WELL, OK, THEY'RE MY BROTHER'S.
MY WORD. THEY LOOK LIKE NAPKINS.
COOL BOX, EDDY.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
HA! WHOA!
[NEEDLE SCRATCHES RECORD]
UM PERHAPS THEY'RE
A TAD TOO CONFINING.
NO WAY, JOSE. WE'RE COOKING.
PEOPLE USED TO TRY TO
BE COOL, BUT NOW IT'S HOT.
WE'RE HOT!
DO YOU FEEL HOT?
NO. I'M HALF-BAKED.
OK, OK, SO WE LOOK GOOD.
WE FEEL GOOD.
SO, OFF TO THE PARTY.
WE'RE GOING TO BE HIP.
WE'RE GOING TO BE HOT.
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THE SCENE.
WOW. EVERYONE'S HERE.
LOOKS LIKE FUN.
HANG ON, MR. HAPPY.
WHOA. WHOA. [THUD]
ENTRANCE TO A
PARTY IS EVERYTHING.
LESSON NUMBER
ONE [EDDY YELLING]
AAH!
[CRASH]
[SARCASTICALLY] OH, GREAT.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?
ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?
THEM?
AAH.
MY PENCILED CHEST HAIRS!
GRR!
HEY, CHECK OUT THE
NOW, BOYS, RELAX.
HAVE FUN. IT'S A PARTY.
[GIGGLES]
GET YOUR BIG BUT
OFF THE SPRINKLER.
OOH, YOU!
UM, WHAT IS THAT?
STUFFED PIG'S HEAD
A FAVORITE OF MY COUNTRY.
WELL, I BROUGHT A QUICHE.
MMM! YUMMY!
IT IS THE FOOD OF THE BBBBB!
THE PARTY IS CURSED!
[SOBBING]
DON'T WORRY,
JIMMY. I LIKE QUICHE.
[ED BURPING]
HEY, EDDY! CATCH.
MMM! CHEESY.
UH!
ENOUGH GOOFING AROUND.
IF YOU WANT TO GET NOTICED,
YOU GOT TO MINGLE SCHMOOZE.
LOOK AT THIS MESS.
[JIMMY MUTTERS]
HEY, HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN
ATTACK OF THE ZOMBIE
BRAIN MUNCHERS?
THE OPERATION I SAW
INVOLVED FASCINATING NEW
BRAIN EXTRACTION TECHNIQUES.
BY HIDEOUS MUTANTS
WITH HUGE DROOLING MOUTHS.
SO, PRECAUTIONS HAD TO BE
TAKEN TO AVOID CONTAMINATION.
FROM POPPING EYEBALLS
AND SWELLING BRAINS.
THE INCISION WAS MADE HERE TO
RELIEVE THE TREMENDOUS PRESSURE.
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE.
HIS HEAD EXPLODED.
WITH THE SLICING AND CLEAVING,
THE GNASHING AND THE SEVERING
Ed and Edd: BLOODY! GORY!
[WHIMPERS]
AAH! OOH!
GUYS!
STOP TALKING SHOP.
I SAID MINGLE.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
OH, MUSIC. GREAT.
THIS IS PERFECT.
LET'S MAMBO.
Ed: OK.
HUH? HUH? HUH?
OK, BOYS,
TIME FOR US TO
PULL OFF THE BIG ONE.
OK, I'll GO OVER THE
FENCE, AROUND THE SIDE
[INAUDIBLE WHISPERING]
LADIES AND NON-LADIES,
WE, THE EDs, ARE
ABOUT TO ATTEMPT.
THE MOST DARING FEA
THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN,
THE DOUBLE-GAGGLE,
HALF-TWIST, HOLD THE ONIONS,
CHANGE FOR A BUCK
SPRINKLER LEAP!
[DRUM ROLL]
WOO-HOO-HOO!
All: YEAH!
MMM!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
QUICK! INTO THAT POOL.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?
SOMEONE'S COMING. ACT NATURAL.
QUIT HOGGING THE POOL.
IT'S OUR TURN.
NO, IT ISN'T.
YES, IT IS!
WE ARE NOT MOVING.
ED, GET OUT!
HIT THE ROAD!
[SCREAMS]
PUT AN EGG IN YOUR
SHOE, AND BEAT IT.
OH, COME ON, SARAH. LET'S
LEAVE THESE GUYS ALONE.
THAT WAS CLOSE.
HI, ED, EDD, AND EDDY.
YOU BOYS LOOK COOL.
MIND IF I JOIN YOU?
HMM?
UH, ED HAS GOT 3 NIPPLES,
LIKE THAT BAD GUY IN JAMES BOND.
YOU'RE FUNNY.
UH, WHAT THIRD NIPPLE?
SHOW ME WHERE IT IS.
IT'S RIGHT HERE!
LOOK.
Eddy: GET DOWN!
ARE YOU NUTS?
AAH!
I BELIEVE OUR BODIES
ARE SOAKING UP ALL
THE WATER IN THE POOL.
SHUT UP.
[TEETH CHATTERING]
FIRE GOOD.
W-W-WARM.
SH-SH-SHUT UP.
I THINK THE C-C-COAS
IS CLEAR NOW, E-E-EDDY.
THEN LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
ED ED?
COME ON, ED.
F-F-FIRE G-GOOD.
L-L-LET'S GO.
1 2
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
Ed: WHOA! WHOA!
WHOA!
AAH! RUN! AAH! RUN!
All: OW! OW! OW!
OW! OW! OW
OHH!
STUBBORN GRASS STAIN!
ARGGH!
[EDDY HUMMING]
YEAH! WOO!
WOO-HOO!
[BURPS]
OH, NOW, WHAT DID
I COME IN HERE FOR?
HMM? HA HA.
MAY I HELP?
STAND BACK. LET THE PRO DO IT.
TIME TO QUENCH
THIRST FOR CASH.
WHOA.
1, 2, 3 GRAINS OF SUGAR.
HUH. HMM.
AM I LATE?
JUST IN TIME, ED.
PUT THIS SIGN UP.
LIKE THIS?
NO. HIGHER.
[SNIFFING]
ED, YOU SMELL LIKE A GYM BAG.
WHEN WAS THE LAS
TIME YOU HAD A BATH?
I FORGET.
HMM. SO, DOUBLE D,
THOSE DRINKS READY?
EDDY, PLEASE. I'M
COUNTING THE SUGAR.
HMM.
1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 75, 76, 77.
A PERFECT MEASUREMENT.
LOOK, CAN I HELP?
ADD SOME OF THIS.
PLEASE, ED. THAT'S
TOO MUCH SUGAR.
OK.
[SNIFFING]
GO AWAY, PLEASE. I'll TASTE IT.
[DEEP BREATH]
SMELLY, SMELLY, SMELLY.
HURRY IT UP, DOUBLE D.
AAH!
WHO-OA!
WHOA. LOOK AT HIM GO, EDDY.
[SNIFFS]
WOO-HOO! GREAT BEVERAGE.
HUH? HUH?
CUSTOMERS, EDDY.
CAN I BE THE SALES-ED?
NO WAY. YOU'LL SCREW IT UP.
EDDY, IT CAN'T HURT.
OH.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
[LOUDLY] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
COME BUY A DELICIOUS
COME BUY A DECIDUOUS,
UH EN-O-GEE DRINK.
HELLO!
DORK.
I'M THE SALES-ED.
"EN-O-GEE DRINKS"?
HERE. TRY SOME.
OOPS. I GOT IT.
ED!
UH-OH.
[CHUCKLES]
AAH!
[NAZZ CHUCKLING]
I THINK I'll PASS.
REAL SMOOTH, DORK.
OOH, ED!
HUH?
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?
DRINK, MISTER?
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO WITH YOU?
HOW ABOUT A COMPLETE
IMAGE MAKEOVER?
YEAH.
UNDER MY SUPERVISION,
YOU WILL BECOME THE
DEFINITION OF COOL.
[SNIFFS]
FOLLOW ME, STINKY.
[ED CHUCKLES]
IS SITTING NAKED
IN A WAGON COOL?
NO, SKUNKPITS. IT ISN'T.
YES! YES! YES!
EVERYTHING'S READY.
AAH! COLD.
IS IT SAFE?
YES. SWEET.
VOILA.
WOW. AM I COOL NOW?
NO. YOU'RE NAKED. WE GOT TO
GET YOU SOME NEW THREADS.
WELCOME TO MY CLOSET OF DREAMS.
DOUBLE D, MEASURE HIM UP.
HOLD STILL, PLEASE. UH-HUH.
154.75.
HMM. TOO BOLD.
16. NOT BAD.
225. THIS WILL DO.
UM, HELP.
OK, GRUESOME, TRY THESE.
Ed: WOO-HOO. HA HA.
COME ON, ED. LET'S SEE ALREADY.
Eddy: HEY, NOT BAD.
NEXT, SOME COOL MOVES.
CHA-CHING.
YEAH. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
TRY IT.
HA HA.
NOT BAD.
TRY THIS.
COOL.
Eddy: AAH!
COOL.
GOOD WORK.
THAT'S IT.
OW!
BRAVO, ED.
I'VE COMPILED A LIST OF
SUPERCOOL PHRASES
OOH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE
THAT YOU CAN USE IN ANY
OH, I'M BRILLIANT SITUATION.
SO FAR, SO GOOD.
YOU'RE READY FOR A TEST DRIVE.
JUST STICK TO WHA
WE SHOWED YOU,
AND YOU'LL BE COOL.
YUP. I MEAN, I'M HIP, BABY.
MAKE ME PROUD, BIG GUY.
[JIMMY HUMMING]
SOMEONE'S COMING.
UH, WHA UH [WHISTLING]
HELLO, MISTER.
SWIGGITY SWAG.
WHAT'S IN THE BAG?
ED!
IS EDDY HERE?
[WHIMPERING]
JUST ME, MYSELF,
AND I, OR I DON'T FLY.
[GIGGLES]
Jimmy: COME PLAY WITH US, ED.
SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, LITTLE MAN.
WHOA! IT WORKED.
SOMETHING ACTUALLY WORKED.
LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
YUCK.
YOU'RE FUNNY.
HEY, GUYS. RECOGNIZE
THIS BIG LUG?
IT'S ED.
Kids: HEY.
PEEKABOO-LOO, I SAY ALL, TOO.
ED, YOU LOOK SO SUAVE.
I LIKE YOUR HAIR, ED.
DON'T SMELL IT, JUST GEL IT.
JUST WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
5' 9" GIVE OR TAKE.
[KIDS LAUGHING]
HUH?
[LAUGHS]
COME ON, ED.
I'D LIKE TO HEAR MORE
OF THOSE WITTY ED-ISMS.
YEAH. TELL ME SOME, TOO, ED.
Sarah: COME ON, ED.
Jimmy: TELL ME
SOMETHING, TOO, ED.
Kevin: HANG WITH US, ED.
WOW. DID YOU SEE THAT?
THEY CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HIM.
PERFECT.
[CASH REGISTER DINGS]
[HUMMING]
HA HA!
HEY, EDDY, ARE WE
LATE THE ED SHOW?
NOT IF YOU PAY 25 CENTS.
HERE YOU GO, EDDY.
[CASH REGISTER DINGS]
HOLD IT.
HUH?
PLANK FORGOT TO PAY.
ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED!
ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED!
ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED!
LET ME WAIT NO LONGER.
HIYA, FOLKS!
Kids: YEAH! ALL RIGHT!
WAGGITY-DOO!
I'M TOO HOT TO USE IN A POT.
SLICK ME BACK
BECAUSE I'M HAPPENING.
HA HA! HA HA! HEE HEE!
HEE HEE! HA HA! HA HA!
ED IS A SELLOUT.
WE'LL DING THEM FOR THE ENCORE.
WE FORGOT OUR MONEY.
KANKERS.
Boy: HUH?
Ed: YABBA DABBA CRACKERS.
Tall girl: OOH, ED THE GREAT.
I'M WAITING.
SAY SOMETHING.
YEAH. SAY SOMETHING FUNNY.
FUNNY AND SMART.
UM, UH, OK.
GIVE ME THAT!
"YABBA DABBA."
HEY, YOU'RE CHEATING.
I LIKE CHEATERS.
WHOA!
EDDY!
WHOA.
[ALL GASP]
WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?
[CHUCKLING]
ED, LOOK OUT!
WHOA!
UH.
ED, YOU GOT A SHOW TO DO.
HEY, EDDY.
GET BACK OUT THERE.
Ed: WHOA!
WHOA.
LET US HELP YOU UP.
YEAH. LET'S.
OH.
[KANKERS LAUGHING]
WATCH IT.
OH! OH! OH!
YOU ALL STINK!
YEAH.
DO YOU LIKE MY SHIRT?
HEY, SHAKESPEARES,
GREAT SHOW. WORTH EVERY PENNY.
MY MONEY!
GIVE IT BACK!
HAVE FUN IN THE MUD,
YOU 3 LITTLE PIGGIES.
[SCREAMS]
THANKS AGAIN.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
ALL THAT MONEY, ALL
THAT FAME GONE.
COULD YOU PLEASE
LOWER YOUR VOICE?
THOSE DRINKS LEFT ME WITH
A VERY PAINFUL HEADACHE.
HEY, GUYS.
WHAT IS IT, ED?
I SAY THE CHEESE IS ALWAYS
TWICE THE FENCE POST.
HAD A FENCE POST, ED.