Empty Nest (1988) s01e02 Episode Script

Life goes on and so do we just how we do it is no mystery sometimes the answer can be hard To find that's something I will never be I'm always here for anything that you need Rain or shine I'll be the one to share it all as life goes on We share it all as life goes on All right.
Done with the paper, done with the coffee, and you know what that means, dreyfuss.
It's time to play sock.
Sock.
Sock.
Dreyfuss, we do this every morning.
You could not possibly have forgotten the rules.
All right, I'll review them for you.
It's really very simple.
I shake the sock vigorously, you grab it with your teeth, and you pull and you tug, and for some reason derive incredible satisfaction from the whole damn thing.
All right, let's go.
One more time here.
What's going on in here, huh? What is this? Look at this.
You've hardly touched your food.
It's not like you to be picky about your diet.
Last night, you ate a cockroach.
Hey, it's not like you to be rude either.
It's great.
Oh, how was the drive? Oh, it's a great car, daddy.
Carol got herself one terrific automobile.
It is terrific, isn't it? Suddenly driving is such a joy.
This is not like you to splurge like that.
This is turning out to be quite a week.
First the car, you and then, this morning, who should I get a call from but my lovely ex-husband? Wait a minute.
Wait.
Wait.
Gary called? What did he want? No, please let me guess.
He has slept with every woman in the world and wants to start all over again.
He wants to see me tonight for dinner.
- What did you say? - What The man gave her the five worst years of her life.
What do you think she said? - Yes.
- She said yes.
She said yes? What are you, crazy? Listen, that's a very, very bad answer.
No was the correct choice.
What does he want? He didn't say.
But a couple of days ago, I ran in his friend Brad.
I happened to look terrific that day, by the way.
And Brad mentioned how Gary was still upset that I kept his fancy rowing machine in the divorce.
Maybe he wants it back.
Or maybe Brad told Gary how great you look and maybe Gary wants you back.
Now now that is crazy.
That's a very illogical leap.
That makes no sense at all.
I had the exact same thought.
Okay, all right, fine I mean, I don't pretend to know much about this stuff, but there is one thing I do know And that's what your mother would she say, if she were here now.
What would she say? I don't know.
But it would be good, and she would speak for me, and that would also be good.
And when she was finished talking for the two of us, you would cancel that dinner and that would be the last anyone ever heard of it, except me, because she would have to call me at the office to tell me what I'd said.
I don't get this.
I mean, your life was just starting to come together.
Why would you want to see him again? All I want is to go to dinner with the man and be so sensational that it leaves him with an aching in his heart, and if it spreads to his groin, that's icing on the cake.
Well, I got to go home and change into my hooker outfit.
Pardon? Police business, daddy.
There's a man that's been beating up prostitutes, so I'm going undercover, and I'm gonna try to lure him out.
Thank you for sharing that with me, dear.
Okay, daddy.
Let's go for that drive.
Oh, honey, could we do that at lunch? I'm a little worried about dreyfuss right now.
What's wrong? Well, mostly he won't play sock.
Unless of course it's something I'm doing wrong.
No, that's right.
Yes, a shipment of bandages just come in, and it's 100% wrong.
I ordered the Flintstone assortment, and there's not one bamm-bamm in the whole lot.
Not one damn bamm-bamm.
Dr.
Weston, are you absolutely sure it's just a cold? Positive.
But the way he's sneezing and coughing That's the cold part, Mrs.
Bridges.
Now if Kelly were not sneezing and coughing, he would be what we call well.
You're sure you didn't overlook anything? There's no shame in admitting it, you know.
If it would make you feel any better, you could get a second opinion.
You are my second opinion.
Mrs.
Bridges, just take him home, put him to bed, and I promise you, in no time at all, he'll be back to his old self.
You say that, but I read an article the other day oh, no, please, Mrs.
Bridges.
I thought we made a deal about the articles.
I feel a cat scan would be in order.
Really? You do, do you? - A cat scan? - Yes.
Well, I mean that never occurred to me, but then what the hell do I know? I've only been doing this for 30 years, where as you You've read an article.
Good-bye, Mrs.
Bridges.
We'll see you.
Here.
You listen to me.
You are going to be fine.
If she's this worried about her young'un, you really should be more patient.
Here's the mail.
All junk.
Except for that thing from ed McMahon.
- Hi.
- Hey, there.
How is the car? Oh, I got the car washed.
It's looking great.
I got a new dress.
I'm looking great.
I am completely ready for dinner with Gary.
Gary? Your ex-husband Gary? That scum that slept in every bed but yourn? I told Laverne a little bit about him.
Listen are you sure you know what you're doing? I mean, this dinner began as a curiosity, then it became revenge, and now it's a new dress.
I'm just afraid you're setting yourself up.
I just want to show him that I'm not the same sweet, naive little pushover he was married to.
I've come a long way these last two years, daddy.
And I want him to see that.
Now come on, change your jacket.
I'll go downstairs and get the car.
I hope she knows what she's doing.
I mean, I do hate that ex-husband of hers.
Back home, we don't have exes.
Just husbands and corpses.
- Well, that was very good.
- Good.
Would you like some dessert? No.
Thank you, Gary.
Ordinarily, I would since weight is no longer a problem for me.
But tonight I don't want to fill up.
You see, I'm meeting a man after I leave here.
Yes, you mentioned that several times.
Oh, sorry.
Sometimes I'm forgetful.
- Mm.
- What? I just can't get over how great you look.
Oh? You really look terrific.
I know.
Eat your heart out.
You're still angry, aren't you? Even after all this time.
I'm only sorry we didn't have children so I could turn them against you too.
But enough of this.
I am a modern woman.
Not one to dwell in the past.
Keep moving forward That's my motto.
Oh, by the way, did I mention that those few things I used to be reluctant to do with you sexually I now do all the time and really enjoy? Yes, you did.
Good.
I wanted to be sure to get that in.
Well, I am glad that you haven't lost your sense of humor.
I always loved your sense of humor.
Gary, can I ask you something? Sure.
Not that it matters, but why all the other women? I never understood that.
I mean, I thought we were pretty good together that way.
What can I say, Carol? Time passes.
People change.
Besides, look at you.
I left the scene and you started to thrive.
Well, I don't know about thrive.
No, no, don't apologize.
It only makes what I have to say a lot easier.
You see, the reason I wanted to see you tonight Gary, wait.
Don't say it.
I can't.
I mean, an occasional dinner, fine, but there is just no chance of us getting back together.
Why would I want that? I just wanted to see you so that I could give you this.
It's the final alimony payment, and I just wanted to give it to you personally.
Carol, you knew it was ending this month? Of course.
Notice I didn't write "blood-sucking leech" on the memo line this time.
Okay, well, I have some plans for tonight, and I know that there's this man that you have to see, so you know, you really do look terrific.
Take care of yourself.
Monsieur said that you would take care of this.
Here you go, honey.
Come on.
Drink this.
- What is it? - It's hot cocoa.
Just like your mother used to make when you were upset.
Always made you feel better.
That's when I was a little girl, daddy.
I'm not a little girl anymore.
I know, but it may help anyway.
Come on.
Where's the marshmallow? What? The marshmallow.
Mom always put a marshmallow in it.
I don't have any marshmallows.
Great.
Like this in really gonna help without a marshmallow.
Oh, I got here as soon as I could.
What's the emergency? Barbara.
Sweetheart.
You look so Slutty.
Daddy, I told you I was working undercover as a hooker.
Now what's wrong? Carol's alimony just ran out.
That's why Gary wanted to see her.
Now I'm gonna have to sell my condo and my car.
Carol, you're working now, and the alimony wasn't that much anyway.
You didn't even want the alimony.
We made you take it.
Rice.
I'll be eating a lot of rice from now on.
Leave it.
I'll drink it straight.
All right, well, I'll make a little more cocoa, and I'll bring you some cookies, huh? Oh, dreyfuss, it's not a pleasant scene out there.
How are you doing? Huh? Huh? You up for a game of sock? Let's go.
Come on.
Hmm, you know, dreyf Your nose is still warm.
You know what that means, don't you? I got to take you to the vet.
Carol, that is not a fair comparison.
Gandhi had it much worse than you do.
Hi.
I just stopped by to Whoa! What have we got here? I'm working undercover as a hooker, and now is not a good time.
Are you kidding? From where I'm standing, I couldn't have picked a better time.
Go home, Charley.
I can't.
Why not? Because I don't think I could move now without hurting myself.
Do you have your gun on you? My, my, aren't we testy tonight? - Something wrong? - No.
Hey, something is wrong.
No, it's not.
Your eyes are red.
You've been crying.
Cocoa.
You've had another crisis, haven't you? Oh, Charley, leave her alone.
And that's why you're here.
Carol's, had another crisis and you're here to help her through it.
Whoa, I'm good.
So what is it? What happened? None of your business.
Judging by the tears and the cocoa, it's got to be something big, something important.
Ex-husband.
Got to be the ex-husband.
He is good.
So everything okay now? - No.
- I knew it was a long shot.
Charley, are you helping matters? No.
- Then leave.
- I don't want to.
I'll give you these cookies.
Okay.
Well, I got to go too.
Are you gonna be okay? Sure, she's gonna be okay.
Come on.
Tell her.
I'm just gonna go home and get into bed and start my new life of poverty in the morning.
See that.
She's got a plan and everything.
Dreyfuss seems perfectly healthy to me, Dr.
Weston.
There's some mild gastric distress.
Nothing to worry about.
Yeah, but his nose is warm, and he won't eat.
That's perfectly normal in these cases.
Excuse me, you don't seem to understand, Dr.
Ross.
He won't play sock.
Have you tried different socks? Of course I have.
I'm a doctor.
Listen, can I talk to one of your associates? Someone older than my tie? You wait here.
I'm just gonna go take a glance at dreyfuss' tests.
Tests? You're gonna glance at a test? This is very casual.
Oh.
Oh, dreyfuss.
I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you.
You are my best friend in the world.
You know that, huh? And I must love you very much, being this close to your face and you having that breath.
I think we found the source of the gastric distress.
And it's nothing to worry about.
- Really? - You see that thing there? I can't be sure, but it looks like a piece of cloth.
No wonder you didn't want to play sock.
You ate sock.
What is Oh, Dr.
Ross, I don't know how to thank you.
You have been so very patient with me.
Oh, well, I didn't do anything any other doctor wouldn't do.
I mean, we all go out of our way to be understanding with people who are worried about their loved ones, don't we? Yeah, I mean, we do, but there are some doctors out there You know what I mean? Okay.
Daddy.
Oh, am I interrupting anything? No, no, I was just going through some old photo albums, cutting Gary's head out of all the pictures.
I can come back some other time if you're busy decapitating.
No, come on in.
I just made some coffee.
Want some? Um, yeah.
Yes, I will.
Thanks, dear.
Oh, you missed a head.
I asked my boss for a raise today.
She said no, so I put too much toner in the xerox machine.
Thanks, babe.
Listen, honey, I came over here tonight because I'm worried about you.
I just want to make sure you're okay, and if you have any financial problems, I mean, I'm here for you.
That's very sweet, daddy.
Thank you.
But I can't accept any money from you.
Why not? Because I love you.
You took money from Gary.
I hate him.
You are a complicated woman, Carol.
What do I do with this? I throw the heads in here.
I'm so sorry to be putting you through this, daddy.
No, come on.
Don't be sorry.
I'm just sorry your mother isn't here to help.
She was so much better at handling these things than I am.
I mean, I didn't even know about the marshmallow in the cocoa.
What's wrong with me, anyway? Other women go through these things every day.
They don't fall apart.
You're not falling apart.
I'm cutting heads out of photo albums, daddy.
That's not good.
I hate Gary for doing this to me.
So, okay, I mean, he's out of your life now forever.
Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better? Doesn't it? Yes.
No.
I don't know.
You don't know? Well, you know, are you sure this is about money? I mean, maybe there is something else going on here.
The only thing going on here, daddy, is that there is no more alimony.
No more checks.
No more envelopes with Gary's handwriting on them.
No more excuses from Gary when the check's late.
This isn't about money, is it? You're right.
It's about the end of a relationship.
But we had the world's worst marriage, and I hate the man.
I mean, I really do hate him.
Obviously.
Look what you cut off in this picture.
So why is it killing me that the last thing we had together is gone? I must be crazy, right? Maybe a little, but, you know, we all are.
So when does it stop hurting, daddy? Uh.
When? I don't know when.
But I know that it will.
You remember that red tie with the blue checks your mother gave me for my birthday? Of course.
You used to wear it practically every day.
Well after your mother died, I couldn't wear that tie anymore.
I tried a couple of times.
Couldn't do it.
I mean, it hurt so much.
And then one day I was getting dressed for work, and, without even thinking I had put the tie on.
And it was okay this time.
Fact, it felt so good to have it back.
I don't know what changed exactly, but I think it had something to do with time and acceptance.
I don't know.
This probably doesn't make any sense to you at all.
No, it makes a lot of sense, daddy.
I only wish there was some way you could go through this for me.
I wish I could too, baby.
But I gotta go.
I have to cruise biscayne boulevard to see which corner your sister is working.
Daddy? Mom couldn't have handled it any better.
But for god's sake, next time get some marshmallows.