Finding Alice (2021) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
1
- Harry?
- No.
I'm George.
Harry's son.
What?
I'm Harry's son.
From before you.
Obviously.
He didn't say anything?
No.
Well, he isn't answering my calls.
He died.
Charlotte!
Charlotte!
What?
This was a bad idea. I'd better go.
No, no, no.
You? You are G, aren't you?
You've been ringing.
Charlotte, now!
What are you doing?
No, I don't want you to run off.
Why haven't I heard about you?
I haven't known for long.
Only my mother did.
Talk to me, then.
Who is this?
He said he's Dad's son.
No, he isn't.
I don't need this.
How do you think I feel?
No!
No, come back!
Well, I don't believe him.
Why would he make it up?
He's a psycho.
Money.
Why didn't he show up
when Dad was alive?
But he looks like Harry.
No, he doesn't.
You want him to look like him.
I'd love a brother, a half-brother.
But I don't know, isn't this too weird?
George's phone. Leave a message.
Hello, George, it's Alice here.
Don't give your name!
With your half-sister Charlotte,
supposedly.
If you are Harry's son, call me back.
And if you aren't,
I'm ringing the police.
Thank you.
This a very peaceful place.
We went to visit.
It's got lovely views.
Mum
How far away is it?
15 miles.
It's too far.
Harry hated graveyards.
Well, who likes graveyards,
apart from fecking Dracula?
Sorry, Charlotte.
That's OK.
I like to think of graves as shrines.
A joyful gathering point.
Well, I would rather gather joyfully
in Harry's favourite pub.
Is there a churchyard nearer?
We brought him up a good Catholic.
Well, it didn't take.
And when was the last time
you went to church?
Recently, at Christmas.
Christmas doesn't count!
Everyone loves a carol.
He'd rather be buried in a
wheelie bin than a churchyard.
Well, it's back to cremation, then.
Harry really didn't want that.
Well, sweet Jesus!
He can't just stay in
the morgue forever.
What would you like?
I want Harry with us.
I can't help it.
I don't want to visit him
in a cemetery or put him in a jar.
Well, neither do I.
It's my little boy!
I'm sorry.
I know I'm not helping.
I just don't see why you're
trying to sell our home.
Because we owe the tax on it.
You don't yet!
Well, it won't sell overnight.
We've been in debt before.
I know.
It nearly killed us.
And Nicola suffered.
We still need money to help her.
- Hello?
- Hi.
Hi
..Mr Elusive.
I'm sorry I ran off like that.
Oh, that's OK.
We're all just
Well, erm
Can we meet?
Hello?
Are you still there?
Yeah, I'm not sure about meeting.
Well, why not?
Because you're in a bit of a state,
you know.
But of course I'm in a state!
Sorry, but I am.
I am in a state.
No.
No, I'm sorry, I'm in a state, too.
In fact, I'm a mess.
Well, I just need to know that
you're not
some sort of creep or weirdo.
Oh, I'm completely creepy and weird.
Mum
I'm on the phone.
Er, I'll call back.
No, no, it's fine, I can talk.
Oh, God
Let's reconvene when
we're all feeling a bit stronger.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
But we do need to bury him.
We know that, Gerry.
And I'm coming back
to put up a banister.
It needs to be safe,
so that we can sell the house.
No, I really believe him.
He's Harry's son.
I wish you'd focus on now.
And me. And Dad.
I am!
But he comes here looking like Harry.
OK, so, Dad had a, whatever,
a love child years ago.
What you need in your life at
the moment are normal things, not
No, I'm just trying to hang
on to Harry any way I can.
Now, why can't you understand?
Sorry, Harry.
Oh
What do you want?
We have a warrant to take the CCTV.
Well, that's ridiculous.
We need to check it, madam.
And what happened to
sensitive policing?
Hm?
No wonder people hate you.
It did record.
I'll get it.
I thought it wasn't switched on.
Everything's new.
It's a
a smart house.
Well, smart-ish.
I won't offer you a tea,
in case I screw that up.
No problem, madam.
We need that to operate the house.
We can use Dad's phone.
We'll get it back to you soon.
Thanks.
We watched some of it.
There's a man at the
door when Dad falls.
We can't see his face.
Now we'll never get them off our backs!
No, it's the opposite.
The footage will prove you
didn't push him down the stairs.
As if.
I don't want to watch him die.
The police won't make you watch.
Look, I don't want to, either.
But we should have handed
it over straight away.
Why are you trying to hide stuff, Mum?
It's like a disease.
I think it's George on the CCTV.
He has the same body language.
So, he saw Harry fall and die.
Then we should tell the police.
But he didn't push Harry
down the stairs any more than I did.
I want to talk to him first.
I just want to
think about your dad without
the world crowding in.
Alice!
Alice!
Hello!
We know you're in there!
Close curtains.
Gerry called.
He was upset and rather rude about
your intransigence over the burial.
Close curtains.
- Perhaps she wants some space.
- Oh, she doesn't know what she wants.
That's not helping anyone, Alice.
People die, Alice.
It's to make way for new life!
So, you've had some time
to think things through.
Yes.
We'd like to bury Harry at home.
In our garden.
It's possible, isn't it?
We've googled it. We know it is.
Er, yes.
Er, yes, you can bury the
deceased at a private residence.
Subject to council approval.
But, er, why?
Harry would have loved the idea.
And this way, he'll be close,
in the place that he loved and
he'll be with us.
We have a big garden.
We can landscape it nicely.
Er, it's quite a decision.
You have to consider how long you
might want to live at the property.
Well, forever.
My lifetime.
Er, because it could affect the value.
But it increases it,
as far as we're concerned.
Er, well, erm, it's not a quick option.
There's a lot of admin.
The council do a land survey,
check the water table.
But we've done it before and, er
..you're still looking
at around £3,000.
In our garden?!
It's a funeral, not a state funeral.
Well getting permission,
digging the grave,
the coffin, the hearse,
I'm afraid it all adds up.
But it's not about the money.
We want to do this.
And we can dig a hole.
Er, you can't, really.
We can.
We have a digger.
The deceased was a builder.
And we can get a cardboard coffin
from the internet,
which is much more ecological.
Yeah.
You can.
And, er, I suppose it is.
Yeah.
And I'm good at admin.
Are you sure you want to do this?
Yes.
It's OK, isn't it? It's good.
Yeah.
It's a good idea.
But shouldn't we ask Gran and Gramps
first, if they own the house?
But we'll end up with the house.
Yeah, but I think they should know.
Look, your dad
loved breaking the rules.
And I felt him. I felt him
there in the room with us.
We need you to fill in these forms.
The body's technically clinical waste.
Beautiful.
I'll write that into
the funeral speech.
So, Environmental Services
may need to survey the burial area
to make sure there'll be no leakage.
Of?
Bodily fluids.
And the like.
Oh, right.
There.
Er, you've missed this section
Proof of property ownership.
Oh, yeah, we own it.
Yes, we need documentation.
Just bring it in.
OK.
But you'll get everything in motion,
won't you?
Yes, when you've brought
in proof of ownership.
Whoa!
It's unconventional, but
..if it's legal, why not?
Exactly, Dad.
I think you're both soft in the head.
You think everyone is.
Look, this is the first glimmer of
..peace I've had since Harry died.
Please, indulge me.
It's what you do to pets.
Oh, please, go if you
can't be constructive.
And why so soon? There's no rush.
Yes.
I'm surprised the
council moved so fast.
They took months to approve
our new windows.
People need more notice.
Muslims get buried on the same day.
Then there must be a lot
of poor Muslim mourners
rushing feverishly to
bus stops and airports.
There.
I like it.
It's fun.
Too fun?
I think it's great.
Ridiculous! I can't believe Minnie
and Gerry are happy about this.
They'll be fine.
You haven't asked them?
I don't need to ask them.
This is our decision.
But he's their son!
Your mother has a point.
Have a cemetery lined up
as a fallback position.
But I think it's great you're
thinking outside the box.
As it were.
Right.
I'm off.
Where?
To sit with Harry, while I still can
and ask him.
Would you like to come?
Oh, sorry. Wrong room.
Carry on.
Oh, it's a bereavement group.
One minute.
Hey
Hi.
Sorry to crash your seance.
You know it's the opposite
of that, don't you?
OK.
Mm. Come in?
Er, I don't think so.
This is my daughter Charlotte.
Nathan.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
It's all a bit emotional in there.
It's a bereavement group.
I'm in enough pain of my own.
I don't need to see anyone else's.
How about you, Charlotte?
I'm fine, thanks.
We came to see Harry.
You'll have to wait
till we're finished, then.
Sit.
That was a bit rude.
No.
I like him.
You, not him.
Well, did you want to go in?
Not really.
Well, there you go, then.
Bye, Nathan.
Take care. See you next week.
See you next time.
Cheers, Graham.
Hiya.
Graham.
Hi.
First time here?
I wasn't actually trying
to join the group.
No?
No.
Not much of a joiner, really.
Nor me.
Er
Brownies, Labour Party,
it all ended in tears.
Yeah, but this is, erm
Well, you're a member,
whether you like it or not.
Yeah.
Anyway, perhaps see you both again.
Unlikely.
- I'll get Harry ready.
- Thanks.
- Are you sure you want to see him?
- Yeah.
We want to ask him if he'd like
to be buried in the garden.
Do you think that's crazy?
Asking a dead person
where they'd like to be buried?
- Or burying him in the garden?
- Both.
- Yes.
- Oh.
I thought you might not,
of all people. It's a lot cheaper.
Good.
Do it.
We can have him close to us.
Keep an eye on him.
See what he thinks.
Give me a minute.
Are you all right?
I always think of
..Elvis has left the building.
Mm.
But you never know.
Harry, give us a sign
if you can hear us?
We'll take anything.
A wink, or
a heavenly yodel.
We want to bury you in the garden.
So we can do it all ourselves.
If you agree.
You'd have done it for me.
Made a
stylish coffin.
Headstone
crafted in zinc or something.
Your dad's not going to take it well.
But it's what we want.
Why the hell did you
give them our house?
And another thing, who
the fuck is George?
How many other secrets have you got?
You can't do it.
Sorry, I thought they should know.
Can I explain why I think this is
rather a magical idea?
No. It's just wrong.
I'm sorry, but, please,
Gerry, don't try to stop this.
We already have.
I phoned the council to tell them
it's our property and we
don't give our permission.
We can find a nice plot for Harry.
Somewhere more suitable.
Like this?
These
municipal dumping grounds.
They look super when it's sunny.
Everyone together.
This is a nice plot.
It couldn't be more suitable.
But we're selling the house.
It's ours now
and no-one will buy it
with a fresh grave in the garden.
That's true.
Well, that's irrelevant,
because we are not
moving out of our home.
Hi, Nathan.
Erm, my digger won't start.
How did you function before you met me?
I organised the fun.
Harry made things work.
I'll deal with this.
But can you get him to our
garden for tomorrow morning?
Why the hurry?
Haven't you got permission?
Well, there's paperwork missing. But
the body's been released for burial,
so it's mine to do what I want
with, isn't it? Let's say, yes.
And you won't get in trouble
for letting me have him?
Let's say, no.
But we can't keep him here much longer.
Have you ordered a coffin?
Yes.
Charlotte and I had a spooky half
hour on comparethecoffin.com.
We'll get it to you.
I haven't hired a hearse, though. Er
I hate those things.
Yeah, me, too.
Is an Uber too insane?
Y eah.
You haven't got a van or something?
You could bring him round.
You don't want much, do you?
I know.
I'm not normally this lame.
Honest.
Thank you.
Where's Gerry?
Oh, just popped out to see Nicola.
How is she?
Well, you know Nicola.
Always likes to be positive.
So, dear, are you just
here for photographs?
Er, no.
We're having a
a small memorial at the
house tomorrow for Harry.
- Before a funeral?
- Yes.
Do come, Minnie.
I don't much like the
look of the future.
So, I've been going over the past.
But that makes me sad, too.
There's everything
I never said to Harry.
So, I'm I'm back in the present now.
And I want us to be
the best of friends.
Rather than relatives, like before.
Good.
Me, too.
I'm sorry the house is becoming a
This
Minnie Minnie, stop. Stop pouring.
Sorry. I'm turning into a lunatic.
It's all right.
I'd love to give you the house.
We can't afford the tax.
And Gerry's really on
top of the money now.
Yeah, I know.
I know. I'm just asking for some time.
You could sell this place
and move in with us.
No, we rent here.
Ah, of course.
I'm an idiot.
- We'll give you all the sale money that's left.
- No.
No, Minnie, the house, it's
It can't be sold, except to me.
I don't think your home burial
plan is so wrong, you know.
Gerry may need more time.
Oh, hello.
I was, er
I was just leaving, Gerry.
We've been having a little cry.
What time would you like us tomorrow?
Tomorrow?
The memorial.
Hm.
You haven't had the funeral yet.
It's just a little gathering, really.
Er, two o'clock?
Minnie
Minnie, we're burying Harry tomorrow.
But if you really hate it, I won't.
That is one mean piece of digging.
Uh-huh.
Well, it's harder than it looks
to get those sides straight.
Well, you gave it a go.
This isn't how I imagined anything.
No.
I thought the grave would make it
feel more real, but it just
..adds to the nonsense dream.
Are you having second
thoughts about this?
No.
You?
No.
And, yes.
I'm worried
Minnie and Gerry won't come.
Well, at least you've stopped
obsessing about George.
You were right.
One thing at a time.
And now we're burying Harry here, I
I don't need someone like him.
I've got the real Harry
on the premises.
And it should be you obsessing.
George would be nothing
to me biologically,
but he'd be your brother.
Are you ready?
Uh-huh.
Too much?
Cool house. If I'd known
you were this loaded,
- I'd have been more polite.
- No need.
It turns out I don't own it.
That's good, too.
Travel light.
That's a disappointing start.
I promised myself I'd be robust.
We bereavement professionals
don't rate robust.
Not at a loved one's burial.
I know, I
I know I should help.
But, please, don't ask me to help.
It's OK. The group have stepped up.
But
..you do owe us all now,
so you have to join up.
Why are you putting that on?
It's Harry's favourite drill.
So, no Christian liturgy or prayers?
No.
No readings or hymns or blessings?
No.
Or religious choreography.
Like, crossing yourself or the amens.
You're not giving me much to work with.
Harry didn't get on with God.
Though, in my experience
God can go down a storm
on these occasions.
I'm sure.
But can we just make today about Harry,
as he's definitely here?
Rather than God, who may not be.
Of course.
My range stretches to Humanism.
I only draw the line at Satanism.
Thank you.
Curtains, open.
You see?
And there was light!
Is that symbolic or?
No, Dad. It's Harry in the coffin.
Oh, right.
I'm doing my best to be celebratory.
We can re-stage it when
she's of sounder mind.
I don't want to look like
I think this is about me.
It's perfect.
Up or down?
Down.
What are we waiting for?
Harry's parents.
You must be very sad.
Mum, you are a genius.
Look, will you please take this?
- What are they?
- Some of my diazepam.
If you feel it's all getting too much.
You do have a history of going
mad and then regretting it.
Mum told us.
Come here, you.
Look at me.
You're a mad fucker to do this.
But I love you.
And Harry, he's up there watching us
laughing his bonce off.
Yeah?
Agreed, Al?
Agreed, Nicola.
- Thank you, Minnie.
- Let's go in.
Thanks, Ed.
Welcome to the house that Harry built.
Few of us manage to
leave a physical legacy
like this amazing house
for others to enjoy.
And this is where we will
gently lay him to rest.
Dad, er
I can hear you say,
"You can do this, big girl."
And I will, I promise.
But I love you.
And I miss you.
And we want you back.
But until that happens
..I've been remembering
some of the things Dad said.
So, rather than me ramble
on, here they are
"I love foxes."
"They really look like
they're enjoying themselves."
"Until I met your mother,"
"I was like one of those
half-finished sculptures"
"stuck in rock."
"Who wants a Magnum with me?"
"Come on!"
Oh, he loved Magnums.
On our caravan holidays, erm
"Please go for a long walk.
Your mother and I want to have sex."
"I'm looking forward to being old"
"..because I'll look
just like Einstein."
Well
..this is a first.
Dying was
what other people did.
No-one is prepared for anything.
We truly are too busy
making other plans.
Harry is in this box
..in the house that he made for us.
That he was so proud of.
But that he never got to live in.
Because he fell down the bloody stairs.
Oh, shush!
I haven't quite
I haven't quite got the energy to speak
eloquently or at length
..about my
my H.
My Harry.
I just
I just can't.
So
..Harry
..you aren't going anywhere.
We are keeping you here with us.
As well as in our hearts
..and our heads.
Whatever it takes, sweetheart.
I know I've had enough
weed to kill a cow.
Mum's dosed me up with her happy pills.
Thank you.
Mum!
Can we just have a moment's silence
..to hold Harry, Alice, Charlotte,
Minnie, Gerry and Nicola
in our thoughts?
OK, all right?
Yeah, steady, steady.
Down you go.
Rest.
Harry hated sadness.
So, I'll end on one of
his favourite jokes.
A woman rings up a local
building firm and says,
"I'd like a skip outside."
And the man says, "Well,
I'm not stopping you."
Please, remember to
skip whenever you can.
Outside.
In your homes.
Your gardens.
With your loved ones.
Or alone.
And think of Harry.
Because he would like that.
And
..his skipping days are over.
Please, stay!
No, we should get back.
Oh, Nicola
Please, come and see us.
It's been too long.
Come for supper with Ed.
Both of you, a proper date.
Let's be a family.
You're on, babe.
Get in the car.
Thank you.
We'll do this again properly
another day.
I'm sorry I'm a bit smiley.
I'm just getting used to it.
I've taken a
Never mind.
The best funeral I've ever been to.
Mm.
Are you still under the influence?
It's hard to tell.
Maybe I should switch
from alcohol to drugs.
Better for your liver,
according to my drug supplier.
No, I think Harry
would have enjoyed it.
Talk about your life
flashing before your eyes.
Nathan kept a tissue sample of Harry.
And I'm going to do a DNA test
on George when he resurfaces.
OK.
And while we're on the subject, er
..kind of.
What?
I found a letter
in Dad's stuff you brought home.
And?
From a fertility clinic.
Apparently, before he
had the snip done
..Dad stored and
froze some of his, er
..you know.
Had a bit of a do?
Burial.
Bottom of the garden.
We've reviewed the CCTV data in your
house, and we'd like to discuss it.
Let's take a look together.
No.
No, I can't watch Harry dying.
All our joy together, I
..I don't want to reduce it to that.
OK.
We'll talk you through it.
You might be able to fill in some gaps.
As your daughter said, the video
shows a man stood in this area,
but we can't see his face.
- Is she here?
- Er, no.
My parents took her
shopping to cheer her up.
A couple of tops and a
smoothie, that'll do it!
That's mean.
I've become so mean.
So, you've no idea
..who he might be?
No.
Do you?
Not yet.
There's no audio, but they
are talking animatedly.
The fall occurs and
then the man runs off.
Could he have saved Harry?
We don't think so.
But we need to locate him.
- Harry?
- No.
I'm George.
Harry's son.
What?
I'm Harry's son.
From before you.
Obviously.
He didn't say anything?
No.
Well, he isn't answering my calls.
He died.
Charlotte!
Charlotte!
What?
This was a bad idea. I'd better go.
No, no, no.
You? You are G, aren't you?
You've been ringing.
Charlotte, now!
What are you doing?
No, I don't want you to run off.
Why haven't I heard about you?
I haven't known for long.
Only my mother did.
Talk to me, then.
Who is this?
He said he's Dad's son.
No, he isn't.
I don't need this.
How do you think I feel?
No!
No, come back!
Well, I don't believe him.
Why would he make it up?
He's a psycho.
Money.
Why didn't he show up
when Dad was alive?
But he looks like Harry.
No, he doesn't.
You want him to look like him.
I'd love a brother, a half-brother.
But I don't know, isn't this too weird?
George's phone. Leave a message.
Hello, George, it's Alice here.
Don't give your name!
With your half-sister Charlotte,
supposedly.
If you are Harry's son, call me back.
And if you aren't,
I'm ringing the police.
Thank you.
This a very peaceful place.
We went to visit.
It's got lovely views.
Mum
How far away is it?
15 miles.
It's too far.
Harry hated graveyards.
Well, who likes graveyards,
apart from fecking Dracula?
Sorry, Charlotte.
That's OK.
I like to think of graves as shrines.
A joyful gathering point.
Well, I would rather gather joyfully
in Harry's favourite pub.
Is there a churchyard nearer?
We brought him up a good Catholic.
Well, it didn't take.
And when was the last time
you went to church?
Recently, at Christmas.
Christmas doesn't count!
Everyone loves a carol.
He'd rather be buried in a
wheelie bin than a churchyard.
Well, it's back to cremation, then.
Harry really didn't want that.
Well, sweet Jesus!
He can't just stay in
the morgue forever.
What would you like?
I want Harry with us.
I can't help it.
I don't want to visit him
in a cemetery or put him in a jar.
Well, neither do I.
It's my little boy!
I'm sorry.
I know I'm not helping.
I just don't see why you're
trying to sell our home.
Because we owe the tax on it.
You don't yet!
Well, it won't sell overnight.
We've been in debt before.
I know.
It nearly killed us.
And Nicola suffered.
We still need money to help her.
- Hello?
- Hi.
Hi
..Mr Elusive.
I'm sorry I ran off like that.
Oh, that's OK.
We're all just
Well, erm
Can we meet?
Hello?
Are you still there?
Yeah, I'm not sure about meeting.
Well, why not?
Because you're in a bit of a state,
you know.
But of course I'm in a state!
Sorry, but I am.
I am in a state.
No.
No, I'm sorry, I'm in a state, too.
In fact, I'm a mess.
Well, I just need to know that
you're not
some sort of creep or weirdo.
Oh, I'm completely creepy and weird.
Mum
I'm on the phone.
Er, I'll call back.
No, no, it's fine, I can talk.
Oh, God
Let's reconvene when
we're all feeling a bit stronger.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
But we do need to bury him.
We know that, Gerry.
And I'm coming back
to put up a banister.
It needs to be safe,
so that we can sell the house.
No, I really believe him.
He's Harry's son.
I wish you'd focus on now.
And me. And Dad.
I am!
But he comes here looking like Harry.
OK, so, Dad had a, whatever,
a love child years ago.
What you need in your life at
the moment are normal things, not
No, I'm just trying to hang
on to Harry any way I can.
Now, why can't you understand?
Sorry, Harry.
Oh
What do you want?
We have a warrant to take the CCTV.
Well, that's ridiculous.
We need to check it, madam.
And what happened to
sensitive policing?
Hm?
No wonder people hate you.
It did record.
I'll get it.
I thought it wasn't switched on.
Everything's new.
It's a
a smart house.
Well, smart-ish.
I won't offer you a tea,
in case I screw that up.
No problem, madam.
We need that to operate the house.
We can use Dad's phone.
We'll get it back to you soon.
Thanks.
We watched some of it.
There's a man at the
door when Dad falls.
We can't see his face.
Now we'll never get them off our backs!
No, it's the opposite.
The footage will prove you
didn't push him down the stairs.
As if.
I don't want to watch him die.
The police won't make you watch.
Look, I don't want to, either.
But we should have handed
it over straight away.
Why are you trying to hide stuff, Mum?
It's like a disease.
I think it's George on the CCTV.
He has the same body language.
So, he saw Harry fall and die.
Then we should tell the police.
But he didn't push Harry
down the stairs any more than I did.
I want to talk to him first.
I just want to
think about your dad without
the world crowding in.
Alice!
Alice!
Hello!
We know you're in there!
Close curtains.
Gerry called.
He was upset and rather rude about
your intransigence over the burial.
Close curtains.
- Perhaps she wants some space.
- Oh, she doesn't know what she wants.
That's not helping anyone, Alice.
People die, Alice.
It's to make way for new life!
So, you've had some time
to think things through.
Yes.
We'd like to bury Harry at home.
In our garden.
It's possible, isn't it?
We've googled it. We know it is.
Er, yes.
Er, yes, you can bury the
deceased at a private residence.
Subject to council approval.
But, er, why?
Harry would have loved the idea.
And this way, he'll be close,
in the place that he loved and
he'll be with us.
We have a big garden.
We can landscape it nicely.
Er, it's quite a decision.
You have to consider how long you
might want to live at the property.
Well, forever.
My lifetime.
Er, because it could affect the value.
But it increases it,
as far as we're concerned.
Er, well, erm, it's not a quick option.
There's a lot of admin.
The council do a land survey,
check the water table.
But we've done it before and, er
..you're still looking
at around £3,000.
In our garden?!
It's a funeral, not a state funeral.
Well getting permission,
digging the grave,
the coffin, the hearse,
I'm afraid it all adds up.
But it's not about the money.
We want to do this.
And we can dig a hole.
Er, you can't, really.
We can.
We have a digger.
The deceased was a builder.
And we can get a cardboard coffin
from the internet,
which is much more ecological.
Yeah.
You can.
And, er, I suppose it is.
Yeah.
And I'm good at admin.
Are you sure you want to do this?
Yes.
It's OK, isn't it? It's good.
Yeah.
It's a good idea.
But shouldn't we ask Gran and Gramps
first, if they own the house?
But we'll end up with the house.
Yeah, but I think they should know.
Look, your dad
loved breaking the rules.
And I felt him. I felt him
there in the room with us.
We need you to fill in these forms.
The body's technically clinical waste.
Beautiful.
I'll write that into
the funeral speech.
So, Environmental Services
may need to survey the burial area
to make sure there'll be no leakage.
Of?
Bodily fluids.
And the like.
Oh, right.
There.
Er, you've missed this section
Proof of property ownership.
Oh, yeah, we own it.
Yes, we need documentation.
Just bring it in.
OK.
But you'll get everything in motion,
won't you?
Yes, when you've brought
in proof of ownership.
Whoa!
It's unconventional, but
..if it's legal, why not?
Exactly, Dad.
I think you're both soft in the head.
You think everyone is.
Look, this is the first glimmer of
..peace I've had since Harry died.
Please, indulge me.
It's what you do to pets.
Oh, please, go if you
can't be constructive.
And why so soon? There's no rush.
Yes.
I'm surprised the
council moved so fast.
They took months to approve
our new windows.
People need more notice.
Muslims get buried on the same day.
Then there must be a lot
of poor Muslim mourners
rushing feverishly to
bus stops and airports.
There.
I like it.
It's fun.
Too fun?
I think it's great.
Ridiculous! I can't believe Minnie
and Gerry are happy about this.
They'll be fine.
You haven't asked them?
I don't need to ask them.
This is our decision.
But he's their son!
Your mother has a point.
Have a cemetery lined up
as a fallback position.
But I think it's great you're
thinking outside the box.
As it were.
Right.
I'm off.
Where?
To sit with Harry, while I still can
and ask him.
Would you like to come?
Oh, sorry. Wrong room.
Carry on.
Oh, it's a bereavement group.
One minute.
Hey
Hi.
Sorry to crash your seance.
You know it's the opposite
of that, don't you?
OK.
Mm. Come in?
Er, I don't think so.
This is my daughter Charlotte.
Nathan.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
It's all a bit emotional in there.
It's a bereavement group.
I'm in enough pain of my own.
I don't need to see anyone else's.
How about you, Charlotte?
I'm fine, thanks.
We came to see Harry.
You'll have to wait
till we're finished, then.
Sit.
That was a bit rude.
No.
I like him.
You, not him.
Well, did you want to go in?
Not really.
Well, there you go, then.
Bye, Nathan.
Take care. See you next week.
See you next time.
Cheers, Graham.
Hiya.
Graham.
Hi.
First time here?
I wasn't actually trying
to join the group.
No?
No.
Not much of a joiner, really.
Nor me.
Er
Brownies, Labour Party,
it all ended in tears.
Yeah, but this is, erm
Well, you're a member,
whether you like it or not.
Yeah.
Anyway, perhaps see you both again.
Unlikely.
- I'll get Harry ready.
- Thanks.
- Are you sure you want to see him?
- Yeah.
We want to ask him if he'd like
to be buried in the garden.
Do you think that's crazy?
Asking a dead person
where they'd like to be buried?
- Or burying him in the garden?
- Both.
- Yes.
- Oh.
I thought you might not,
of all people. It's a lot cheaper.
Good.
Do it.
We can have him close to us.
Keep an eye on him.
See what he thinks.
Give me a minute.
Are you all right?
I always think of
..Elvis has left the building.
Mm.
But you never know.
Harry, give us a sign
if you can hear us?
We'll take anything.
A wink, or
a heavenly yodel.
We want to bury you in the garden.
So we can do it all ourselves.
If you agree.
You'd have done it for me.
Made a
stylish coffin.
Headstone
crafted in zinc or something.
Your dad's not going to take it well.
But it's what we want.
Why the hell did you
give them our house?
And another thing, who
the fuck is George?
How many other secrets have you got?
You can't do it.
Sorry, I thought they should know.
Can I explain why I think this is
rather a magical idea?
No. It's just wrong.
I'm sorry, but, please,
Gerry, don't try to stop this.
We already have.
I phoned the council to tell them
it's our property and we
don't give our permission.
We can find a nice plot for Harry.
Somewhere more suitable.
Like this?
These
municipal dumping grounds.
They look super when it's sunny.
Everyone together.
This is a nice plot.
It couldn't be more suitable.
But we're selling the house.
It's ours now
and no-one will buy it
with a fresh grave in the garden.
That's true.
Well, that's irrelevant,
because we are not
moving out of our home.
Hi, Nathan.
Erm, my digger won't start.
How did you function before you met me?
I organised the fun.
Harry made things work.
I'll deal with this.
But can you get him to our
garden for tomorrow morning?
Why the hurry?
Haven't you got permission?
Well, there's paperwork missing. But
the body's been released for burial,
so it's mine to do what I want
with, isn't it? Let's say, yes.
And you won't get in trouble
for letting me have him?
Let's say, no.
But we can't keep him here much longer.
Have you ordered a coffin?
Yes.
Charlotte and I had a spooky half
hour on comparethecoffin.com.
We'll get it to you.
I haven't hired a hearse, though. Er
I hate those things.
Yeah, me, too.
Is an Uber too insane?
Y eah.
You haven't got a van or something?
You could bring him round.
You don't want much, do you?
I know.
I'm not normally this lame.
Honest.
Thank you.
Where's Gerry?
Oh, just popped out to see Nicola.
How is she?
Well, you know Nicola.
Always likes to be positive.
So, dear, are you just
here for photographs?
Er, no.
We're having a
a small memorial at the
house tomorrow for Harry.
- Before a funeral?
- Yes.
Do come, Minnie.
I don't much like the
look of the future.
So, I've been going over the past.
But that makes me sad, too.
There's everything
I never said to Harry.
So, I'm I'm back in the present now.
And I want us to be
the best of friends.
Rather than relatives, like before.
Good.
Me, too.
I'm sorry the house is becoming a
This
Minnie Minnie, stop. Stop pouring.
Sorry. I'm turning into a lunatic.
It's all right.
I'd love to give you the house.
We can't afford the tax.
And Gerry's really on
top of the money now.
Yeah, I know.
I know. I'm just asking for some time.
You could sell this place
and move in with us.
No, we rent here.
Ah, of course.
I'm an idiot.
- We'll give you all the sale money that's left.
- No.
No, Minnie, the house, it's
It can't be sold, except to me.
I don't think your home burial
plan is so wrong, you know.
Gerry may need more time.
Oh, hello.
I was, er
I was just leaving, Gerry.
We've been having a little cry.
What time would you like us tomorrow?
Tomorrow?
The memorial.
Hm.
You haven't had the funeral yet.
It's just a little gathering, really.
Er, two o'clock?
Minnie
Minnie, we're burying Harry tomorrow.
But if you really hate it, I won't.
That is one mean piece of digging.
Uh-huh.
Well, it's harder than it looks
to get those sides straight.
Well, you gave it a go.
This isn't how I imagined anything.
No.
I thought the grave would make it
feel more real, but it just
..adds to the nonsense dream.
Are you having second
thoughts about this?
No.
You?
No.
And, yes.
I'm worried
Minnie and Gerry won't come.
Well, at least you've stopped
obsessing about George.
You were right.
One thing at a time.
And now we're burying Harry here, I
I don't need someone like him.
I've got the real Harry
on the premises.
And it should be you obsessing.
George would be nothing
to me biologically,
but he'd be your brother.
Are you ready?
Uh-huh.
Too much?
Cool house. If I'd known
you were this loaded,
- I'd have been more polite.
- No need.
It turns out I don't own it.
That's good, too.
Travel light.
That's a disappointing start.
I promised myself I'd be robust.
We bereavement professionals
don't rate robust.
Not at a loved one's burial.
I know, I
I know I should help.
But, please, don't ask me to help.
It's OK. The group have stepped up.
But
..you do owe us all now,
so you have to join up.
Why are you putting that on?
It's Harry's favourite drill.
So, no Christian liturgy or prayers?
No.
No readings or hymns or blessings?
No.
Or religious choreography.
Like, crossing yourself or the amens.
You're not giving me much to work with.
Harry didn't get on with God.
Though, in my experience
God can go down a storm
on these occasions.
I'm sure.
But can we just make today about Harry,
as he's definitely here?
Rather than God, who may not be.
Of course.
My range stretches to Humanism.
I only draw the line at Satanism.
Thank you.
Curtains, open.
You see?
And there was light!
Is that symbolic or?
No, Dad. It's Harry in the coffin.
Oh, right.
I'm doing my best to be celebratory.
We can re-stage it when
she's of sounder mind.
I don't want to look like
I think this is about me.
It's perfect.
Up or down?
Down.
What are we waiting for?
Harry's parents.
You must be very sad.
Mum, you are a genius.
Look, will you please take this?
- What are they?
- Some of my diazepam.
If you feel it's all getting too much.
You do have a history of going
mad and then regretting it.
Mum told us.
Come here, you.
Look at me.
You're a mad fucker to do this.
But I love you.
And Harry, he's up there watching us
laughing his bonce off.
Yeah?
Agreed, Al?
Agreed, Nicola.
- Thank you, Minnie.
- Let's go in.
Thanks, Ed.
Welcome to the house that Harry built.
Few of us manage to
leave a physical legacy
like this amazing house
for others to enjoy.
And this is where we will
gently lay him to rest.
Dad, er
I can hear you say,
"You can do this, big girl."
And I will, I promise.
But I love you.
And I miss you.
And we want you back.
But until that happens
..I've been remembering
some of the things Dad said.
So, rather than me ramble
on, here they are
"I love foxes."
"They really look like
they're enjoying themselves."
"Until I met your mother,"
"I was like one of those
half-finished sculptures"
"stuck in rock."
"Who wants a Magnum with me?"
"Come on!"
Oh, he loved Magnums.
On our caravan holidays, erm
"Please go for a long walk.
Your mother and I want to have sex."
"I'm looking forward to being old"
"..because I'll look
just like Einstein."
Well
..this is a first.
Dying was
what other people did.
No-one is prepared for anything.
We truly are too busy
making other plans.
Harry is in this box
..in the house that he made for us.
That he was so proud of.
But that he never got to live in.
Because he fell down the bloody stairs.
Oh, shush!
I haven't quite
I haven't quite got the energy to speak
eloquently or at length
..about my
my H.
My Harry.
I just
I just can't.
So
..Harry
..you aren't going anywhere.
We are keeping you here with us.
As well as in our hearts
..and our heads.
Whatever it takes, sweetheart.
I know I've had enough
weed to kill a cow.
Mum's dosed me up with her happy pills.
Thank you.
Mum!
Can we just have a moment's silence
..to hold Harry, Alice, Charlotte,
Minnie, Gerry and Nicola
in our thoughts?
OK, all right?
Yeah, steady, steady.
Down you go.
Rest.
Harry hated sadness.
So, I'll end on one of
his favourite jokes.
A woman rings up a local
building firm and says,
"I'd like a skip outside."
And the man says, "Well,
I'm not stopping you."
Please, remember to
skip whenever you can.
Outside.
In your homes.
Your gardens.
With your loved ones.
Or alone.
And think of Harry.
Because he would like that.
And
..his skipping days are over.
Please, stay!
No, we should get back.
Oh, Nicola
Please, come and see us.
It's been too long.
Come for supper with Ed.
Both of you, a proper date.
Let's be a family.
You're on, babe.
Get in the car.
Thank you.
We'll do this again properly
another day.
I'm sorry I'm a bit smiley.
I'm just getting used to it.
I've taken a
Never mind.
The best funeral I've ever been to.
Mm.
Are you still under the influence?
It's hard to tell.
Maybe I should switch
from alcohol to drugs.
Better for your liver,
according to my drug supplier.
No, I think Harry
would have enjoyed it.
Talk about your life
flashing before your eyes.
Nathan kept a tissue sample of Harry.
And I'm going to do a DNA test
on George when he resurfaces.
OK.
And while we're on the subject, er
..kind of.
What?
I found a letter
in Dad's stuff you brought home.
And?
From a fertility clinic.
Apparently, before he
had the snip done
..Dad stored and
froze some of his, er
..you know.
Had a bit of a do?
Burial.
Bottom of the garden.
We've reviewed the CCTV data in your
house, and we'd like to discuss it.
Let's take a look together.
No.
No, I can't watch Harry dying.
All our joy together, I
..I don't want to reduce it to that.
OK.
We'll talk you through it.
You might be able to fill in some gaps.
As your daughter said, the video
shows a man stood in this area,
but we can't see his face.
- Is she here?
- Er, no.
My parents took her
shopping to cheer her up.
A couple of tops and a
smoothie, that'll do it!
That's mean.
I've become so mean.
So, you've no idea
..who he might be?
No.
Do you?
Not yet.
There's no audio, but they
are talking animatedly.
The fall occurs and
then the man runs off.
Could he have saved Harry?
We don't think so.
But we need to locate him.