Gates (2012) s01e02 Episode Script

Sorry, sorry, sorry.
You do know what week this is, don't you? It's Walk to School Week.
Walk To And From School Week.
Coming to parents' pizza night? Hosted by yours truly! Ten or more means free stuffed crusts! Oh, Gouldie! Fancy a 12-incher tonight? We need to find ways of getting people moving not eating.
Healthy parents breed healthy children.
And that looks good, is good.
Up, up.
Parents' pizza night? Hi, babe.
It is you picking up today? Nearly there now.
Just round the corner.
Thank God.
I thought for a minute it was my turn and I'd forgotten.
All right, see you later then.
OK.
No rush.
Bye.
NO! No, no, no, no! Fabulous, isn't it? These are sensor taps? Yep! Brand new, state of the art.
I'm sorry.
Susan finds sensor taps unsettling.
Oh.
I'm afraid it's one of our deal breakers.
Then let's get the hell out and go and find Susan some normal taps.
Hiya, sorry I'm a bit late.
Just a minute, Helen.
So if you provoke him, he will lash out.
Have I missed something? Chloe and I were just having a little chat.
But it's all sorted out now.
Zack pushed me over.
It wasn't quite as straightforward as that now, was it, Chloe.
Darling, I'm sure Zack's apologised, hasn't he? Hasn't he? He's definitely going to be working on verbalizing, aren't you, baby? Letting Miss Hunter know if he feels like he's being harangued.
I'm sure a simple apology from Zack to Chloe will sort this out.
Maybe, but ooh, perhaps if you were here on time, for once, it wouldn't have happened.
I was delayed at work.
Late, you mean.
What do we think? Do you want mummy to be on time? "Yes, please, Mummy!" It was unavoidable.
Some of us actually do work for a living! Please don't shout at me! I'm not shouting! I was just saying your son should apologise to my daughter.
I don't think I can do this.
I'm finding this situation very stressful.
Sarah, this is getting a bit silly.
I wasn't shouting.
I wasn't.
I've asked you kindly.
Just please.
Just leave me ALONE! That was your fault for shouting.
At least I wasn't play acting.
At least I know when to shut up.
Don't tell me to shut up.
I DID NOT.
Right, you two.
My classroom now.
Yes, Miss Hunter.
I'm sorry, but all I was trying to do was reach out to a friend who's been looking terribly worn down All I want is an apology.
Obviously, I choose to stay at home and nurture Zack.
Helen has her busy career as an estate agent.
I mean, we all know what vital work they do, but is it fair that other mothers have to pick up the pieces in the playground? All I did was ask your son to apologise for injuring my daughter.
But you weren't at pick-up.
I'm sure you had a crucial viewing or whatever, but.
.
So here's the thing.
Kids argue, they scratch, they hit, they call each other names.
To be honest they can be completely vile.
But then it's over in a flash.
Welcome to the playground.
Now if you two have issues with each other, that's entirely different.
But I just wish Enough.
I'd quite like to go home.
And I suggest you two do the same.
What am I? Go on, what? Foreign? I am your saviour.
Your health drive's a bit crook.
It needs a bit of Mia's medicine.
Does it? Salsacise.
Healthy parents breed healthy kids, Gouldie.
I'll run a class for you.
It's a thought.
I'm not sure it's a great one.
And then after we can all go and have a drink at the pub.
Do you have some kind of certificate? Who needs a certificate when you can shimmy like this? Check the shimmie, Gouldie.
Look at me go.
Yep, all right, just go, just go and do that, with my blessing.
Thank you.
Sorry.
So, working mum gets ready for the day while preparing to abandon child.
Muttering again, darling? She basically said I was a bad mother.
And did she apologise? I thought you said it was a draw? It was.
But she thinks she's won.
Well, you both got put in detention for fighting.
It wasn't detention! Not what I heard.
It was not! It was a discussion which happened to take place after school.
Miss Hunter totally busted them.
An informal chat.
Totally busted.
You gonna kick some butt? You gonna take her down? It was just a tiny difference of opinion.
All over.
Whatever.
I've asked my Troy to keep an eye on Chloe.
You know - security? Thanks, but that won't be necessary.
Do you want some? Sorry? Do you want some or what?! Oh, I You'll have to make a decision.
I've got four left and there ain't any.
What do you mean you can't hear me? It's a state-of-the-art Bluetooth.
Go on.
Go.
Go and talk to her.
Everyone's talking about the fight! Oh, it's just kids being silly.
No, mate! You and Sarah.
Is it true you made her cry? Is it? Is it? She cried, I was there, but I didn't make her.
She chose to do it.
That's what I've been telling everyone.
But they don't know you as well as I do, obviously, I said no way, not the Hel that I know.
Thanks, appreciated, but it's something and nothing.
Maybe if they got to know you a bit better Sign up for Salsacise! Bit of a jiggle, get a thirst up, off to the pub, stretch it out.
I don't know.
Maybe next week.
I've got so much on at the moment.
Ah, you're right.
To hell with the gossip.
Let 'em talk, eh? Who cares what they're saying? That's the spirit, mate.
Show 'em what you're made of, eh? Good times.
Hey, Sarah.
I heard all about it.
Helen being all up in your face, has she? I don't want to talk about it.
You know what you need, you need to build your confidence.
Do I? I do, don't I.
Do I? You need to learn to stand up for yourself.
It's a bit tricky with Zack and babysitters.
I think Melissa's having some of the kids over, you could drop him there.
We're all going to the pub after.
Come on.
It'll do you good.
That's the spirit, mate.
Show 'em what you're made of.
That's it.
Hi! How are you? Looking good! What have you had done? Whatever it is, I love it.
You are one classy lady! Now, I heard that you and Sarah had a tiny misunderstanding.
Not really, I just want to get the kids to resolve She's been going through a difficult time.
Has she? Well, we're all up against it.
But not everyone's as robust as you.
Robust? She's a fragile flower.
So no more naughty fighting in the playground, girls.
Or I'll have to put you both over my knee.
I'm sorry if Sarah took things too far but she's very, very sensitive.
Look, I'd better go.
Good to have sorted that though.
Bye! Bye.
Remember, no more naughty fighting.
Yes! Get in there, my son! Come on! Over his knee? Over his knee.
Is it any wonder their son is so unhinged? They obviously beat him.
Over his knee? I'm just going to have a word with him, cos that's not on.
It's just not.
And you honestly, you know, didn't shout at her? Because you can get a bit shrill sometimes when you're angry.
Shrill? A bit.
Sometimes.
I was perfectly calm.
I was! Perfectly calm.
Shrill? A bit.
A bit.
If anyone's going over anyone's knee, it's going to be you.
Hello.
Sarah, hi.
I need to speak to Aiden.
Man to man.
Well he's just gone out with the kids.
Why don't you come in and wait? I I just er I just felt maybe it was better to sort all this out now.
Absolutely.
Nip it in the bud, before things get Silly? Silly.
Daddy's been ages.
What's he doing? Getting an apology.
I feel so much better now.
Thank you so much, Mark.
Thank you so, so much for being the strong one in all this.
I really should be going.
So, how did it go? Yep, everything's sorted, don't need to worry.
You're a good man.
Jump on in, Hells.
It's a bit of a squish, I'm afraid.
No scrapping in the back, you two.
We'll be fine.
All sorted.
Sorry about this.
No problem.
Like Mark said, sometimes it's just better to nip these things in the bud.
Tackle things head on.
Yeah, like me and Mark last night.
Hug it out.
Sorry? Didn't Mark tell you? Oh.
Busy day at work, was it? Alright, ladies.
Buckle up, let's roll! Not the exercise type? Pardon? Noticed you weren't on board for the Walk to School week.
Oh, no, sorry, no.
I have asthma and exercise exacerbates it terribly.
But not cigarette smoking, clearly? No.
How unusual.
Isn't it? Some would say unlikely.
Would they? They would.
Would they? I think they would.
Would they? You're putting your mat right there? Yes.
Problem? No problem.
Brrrrr! Brrrrr! Did I go too short on the shorts? Nah, you've got the legs for it.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Mark.
Aiden.
Melissa's? After you.
No, really, after you.
I insist, after you.
Right, ladies, here we go.
Exercise, with a surprise, right before your eyes, and then it's drink o'clock! So let's get down to business or we're cutting into hydration time, girls! And Ciaran.
Candy, could you tell Melissa we've here to pick the kids up.
S'pose.
Aiden, this, this thing with the girls.
It's got a little bit Silly? Yeah.
How about we just let it go? It's yesterday's news, right? Water under the bridge? Is that a weapon? OK, not the best idea.
You're a builder, do lifting and stuff all day.
I thought it might get physical.
I panicked.
And came armed with a spirit level? Zack buried all my hammers.
The doctor thinks it's symbolic.
"Watch out.
I'm Aiden.
I've got to level with you.
" Good one.
I am the Leveller! I will Give me back my bloody level! Sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
Look, Dad! Wow.
That's temporary? Had some spare moulding wax so we had a little bit of fun, didn't we? All past the sell-by.
I was going to chuck it.
Oh, is that why it smells of what does it smell of? Jojoba nut.
Well, at least it used to.
You two look thick as thieves.
Have you made up? Hey do you fancy pizza? Yay! Oh, I had just meant Chloe Please, Dad! Erm I don't see why not.
Great.
Yay! Oh, my God, you hit me! It was clearly an accident.
I told you to stand back.
You put your face in the way of my hand.
Like my daughter got in the way of your son's hands.
Your family takes up more space than anyone else.
You're the one who takes up all the space.
Fatty.
You what? You want to say something? No fighting.
Girls.
Even your husband thinks you're a nutter.
Let's just leave it there, head to the boozer.
At least my husband can keep his hands to himself.
I am walking away.
I am walking away.
Now look what you've done! Well, don't go, guys.
The good bit's still to come! You are so childish.
You want some, do you? You want some? Come on, then.
Ohhh! Ohhh! Ladies! What's all this? Fighting.
My office.
Now.
Come on, people, don't all head off.
A party's not a party till there's a fight.
See you in the boozer.
I've got blood on my face! Point to the ceiling, point to the floor, eyes to the front, chat no more.
Better! I'm must say I'm very disappointed.
You've let yourselves down, you've let me down, you've let the school down, and you've let Actually, no, that is everything.
But she started it.
No, she did.
Alright! Cease-fire.
Sorry.
We're not in the blame game here.
I'm just here to remind you that you're role models.
But it was a parent's event.
None of the kids even saw it.
Oh, yeah, what happens at dance class stays at dance class? No! No.
Let's just draw a line under it.
Mmm? Come on.
Take the pen.
Both of you, and draw a line under it.
Good.
Here they come.
What took you two so long? Just chatting.
Just chatting with Mr Gould about Stuff.
Stuff.
We're all going for pizza.
Pizza? Wow, Lovely, darling.
Great.
Chloe, what's happened to your hair? Melissa did it.
For free.
Night, guys.
We're going for pizza.
Do you want to? Oh, awesome! I'm as hungry as a Minogue in hotpants.
Let's go.
You hugged it out? Sarah hugged me! I was the hugee, not the hugger.
You can't get angry with the hugee.
You'd think.
Gosh, well done for finishing all that pizza.
I can't eat wheat, it just leaves me really bloated.
Pizza does that to most people if you actually eat it.
And yellow fats just hate me.
I know how they feel.
Sorry? I said I know how you feel.
So, is anyone walking to school tomorrow? No! Of course not!