Good Cop/Bad Cop (2025) s01e02 Episode Script

1
[GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR]
[LOU] Ooh, this one looks good.
Large guest house,
nice yard, cute kitchen.
Nope. Can't live in a guest house.
And yet you can live in my house house.
Well, you're my sister.
I can stomach being forced
to interact with you.
Aw, you're gonna make me cry.
I know you're looking
at Marci's Instagram.
You should just call her.
I heard she got back a few months ago,
opened a little clinic,
and she's been working
with kids in schools.
[HENRY] She always did
have a way with children.
[MARCI] Do you guys like to explore?
[KIDS] Yeah.
[MARCI] Cool. Me too.
And exploring is great.
Until one day, you're chasing
a butterfly in the Congo basin
and you fall into a river
full of flesh eating tigerfish.
[KIDS GASPING]
I'm sure you're nervous after
the way things ended, but
I don't need your help with
Marci or anything, really.
Okay. You don't need my help anymore?
I've never really needed it.
I taught you how to tie your shoes.
I was about to figure it out.
I taught you how to drive stick.
I taught myself when I was 14.
I was pretending to let you
teach me so Dad wouldn't know.
Okay, uh, what about
the book of logic puzzles
that you got for your ninth birthday?
You begged me for help
with some of those.
Those don't count. There was
nothing logical about them.
Why would a fox transport
chickens across a river?
And how does he know
how to operate a canoe?
Okay, I don't know. Oh, my God.
The point is that you
are my little brother,
and sometimes I know better because
I can take care of myself. I'm
a self sustaining ecosystem.
Dig in, boys.
To expanding our minds.
To my two best bros.
[AJ] To getting filthy rich.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
[WOMAN] As your certified trip shaman,
I'll be here to guide you
and support you as you
[GAGGING] Sorry.
Ooh, mine tastes like dirt.
Mine, too. I heard Elon puked
the first time he did them.
Y'all are crazy.
Mine tastes sweet.
[CHUCKLING]
[SHAMAN] Your journey is beginning.
You're all in a safe space.
That is why we're taking
crypto to the next level.
Because you're so next level, dog.
We're totally tripping.
Are you feeling it, Kev?
I'm feeling
something.
Kevin's tripping balls, man.
[DISTORTED MUSIC]
[AJ] What's going on?
Okay, talk to me. Do you need water?
I don't like this.
- Okay, something's wrong.
- [AJ] Kev?
- I don't like this.
- [AJ] What's happening?
[SHAMAN] Call 911. Call 911!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[THEME MUSIC]
[LILY CHUCKLING] Oh, yeah.
Okay, attention everybody.
Remember, tonight is the big night.
I expect you all to be
there, and don't be stingy.
Hey, what's he talking about?
The fundraiser he does every
year for Children's Hospital.
Did you not get like a
thousand email reminders?
[WHISPERING] Those emails
go to my spam folder.
I should probably change that.
Hey, you know, it'd be really great
if you two could donate big tonight.
I got Channel 6 coming in to cover me
handing over that giant
fake check tomorrow.
[LOU] Seriously? You're
going on TV this year?
- [HANK] Yeah.
- Why?
- To raise awareness.
- Of yourself?
Of terminally ill children, wise guy.
And don't try to get out of
it. I know all the open cases.
There's nothing that can't
wait till the morning.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a giant fundraising
thermometer to build.
- Lily!
- Hmm
- [HANK] In my office.
- You got it, Chief.
Do we really have to go to this? Really?
It's important to him,
so unfortunately, yes.
Get ready for three
[TODD] Hey, can somebody help me?
I just watched my friend
die and I am losing my mind.
[HENRY] Sir, calm down
and tell us everything.
And take your time.
2010, Haunted Hayride:
first time you asked Marci
out. Who made you do it?
You did, and she laughed
at me and said 'no',
like I said she would.
Well, five years later, she said 'yes',
so I kind of set the stage,
flipped the fuse,
pushed over the first
- [HENRY] Hey, no, no, no!
- What the hell?
[LOU] Is that the County
Sheriff Coroner's van?
No, no, no. This is our crime scene.
You tell that Coroner's
van to turn around.
[SHERIFF] And do what?
I mean, do you want him
to put the body back?
Yes.
Any suspicious death in these
city limits is EVPD's body.
[SHANE] No, we're not
treating that suspicious.
He had heart meds in his backpack.
Looks like an accidental OD to me.
- Okay, new jacket!
- [LOU EXCLAIMING]
Is that velvet?
Huh, yeah. You like this?
Yeah, yeah, it's seriously nice.
[LOU] Thanks.
Well, coming from the king
of nice jackets himself,
- that means a lot.
- Wait till it gets colder. I bought a duster.
Makes me look like Val
Kilmer in Tombstone.
[HENRY] I'm also here.
We'd like to investigate for ourselves.
Yeah, knock yourselves out.
Their 'trip shaman' is inside,
and, uh, we've been
here an hour, by the way.
It's nice for you two
to show up eventually.
Alright, for your information, Carson,
we were interviewing
crypto bro number two.
Yeah, also, we're helping our dad make
a giant cardboard check.
Come on, man, don't tell him that.
Well, a trucker found
crypto bro number three
running down the middle
of the Interstate.
Their assistant Esther picked
him up and took him to the hotel,
so they're at the Pinewood.
I'm gonna question
this so called shaman.
You're gonna No, no, wait.
Sorry. Bull in a China shop.
Hey, stop. You don't
question anybody solo yet.
I'm Senior Detective, so
I'm basically your boss.
Dad is my boss.
Oh, God, that's the first time
I've ever said that out loud.
Well, I'm in charge of the crime
scene. If this is a crime scene.
It's not an OD.
That's not how the body responds
to copious amounts of psychedelics.
You've seen a case like this?
Nope. I spent a week in the
desert doing peyote once.
I was trying to prove or
disprove the existence of God.
And?
- The results were inconclusive.
- Oh.
[LOU] It must have been
terrible to watch that happen.
I should have refused their money.
Their energy was so wrong.
They were rude and arrogant.
They were drunk, making videos.
Videos?
Uh, who was filming?
The taller one. He had glasses.
How were they rude?
Oh, for starters, they were
very dismissive of my crystals.
Doubted the magical properties of rocks.
How does it work?
Do you provide them with the mushrooms?
Oh, no. I'm not allowed
to procure or handle them.
I'm just a veteran psychonaut
who acts as a safe guide
for fellow travellers.
Oh, my God. How could
this have happened?
I'm sorry. I should have
offered you one of these.
Thank you.
Do you still have the baggies here?
They're right over there.
Do you happen to remember
if they each brought their own baggie,
or did one person hand them all out?
The baggies were all in one
backpack when they got here,
but I didn't notice who divvied them up.
[SHAMAN] That Detective
said he thought it was
an accidental overdose.
You know, the handsome one?
Um, Detective Carson? Yeah.
- Um, is he handsome?
- He's handsome.
I don't know. We have a
professional relationship,
so I don't really think of him that way.
He may be extremely
handsome, but he's dead wrong.
White gills, sickly sweet smell.
This baggie contains remnants
of Death Cap mushrooms,
the deadliest fungus known to man.
Crypto bro number one, was murdered.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
We should probably learn their names.
[JAUNTY COUNTRY GUITAR]
I saw you try and get her
prints on that tissue pack.
Trust me, I got 'em.
I've done that trick
about a million times.
But they'll be latents, so
you're not pulling anything
without a cyanoacrylate fuming chamber,
and they cost 20 grand, so
I'm guessing we don't have one.
Not yet, but we're about to.
[LOU] The hot plate heats the super glue
inside the muffin cup,
releasing the cyanoacrylate
[HENRY] And the fan
provides a circulation.
[LOU] Voilà.
Instant fuming chamber made
out of Bradley's leftovers
and some stuff we got from Lily's desk.
Ten minutes, and we'll know
if Skye was telling the truth.
Mm, that's actually smart.
Don't say "actually". I took AP chem.
And trust me, with our budget,
DIY hacks are your friend.
[LOU] Oh, shoot. We're gonna
be late for Dad's thing.
Can you promise to at least try
and get along with him tonight?
I promise nothing.
Are you happy with this,
Chief? 'Cause I like it.
Ah, I wish I looked skinnier
and the kid looked sicker.
It'll have to do, though.
Cardboard Hank looks perfect.
- Real one is shiny in face.
- Really?
Lily, I need more powder.
Ugh, okay, but too much more,
and you're gonna look
like Marie Antoinette.
[SARIKA] I got a 20 on the giant
table-sized pizza approaching, Chief.
[HANK] Roger that Sarika,
I like myself a giant table-sized pizza.
Hey, Chief, you, um, you
forgot to give me a job.
Um, alright, your job
is to help that idiot
get that pizza through that door.
If any of the toppings slide
off, I'm not paying them.
Alright, I'm on it.
He will fail mission.
Hey, what took you two so long?
Oh, nothing. Just a
murder investigation.
- Murder? You mean the mushroom overdose?
- It wasn't an overdose.
Someone gave him Death Cap mushrooms.
No, no, no, no! Don't fold it.
Nadia, could you help them, please?
Well at least tell
me you have a suspect.
We've led the County in crime clearance
for the last nine years running,
but Appleton is nipping at our heels.
Why couldn't he have died over there?
Right! That's the real tragedy here.
Do you have to have a critical comment
every time I say something?
Do you always have to say
something so worthy of criticism?
Can you guys get along for 5 seconds?
- I'm not doing it.
- He starting it.
Seriously, stop!
Now look, the killer
had to be in the room
for the right person
to get the wrong bag.
That leaves his two
buddies and the trip shaman,
but her prints weren't on the bags.
Made my own cyanoacrylate
fuming chamber.
[HENRY] We're interviewing the guys
in a couple of hours when they're sober.
A couple of hours? You're
gonna miss everything.
[LOU] Dad.
Alright, well, how about a motive?
Well, the three of them
were about to take their
crypto company public,
- so lots of money at stake.
- Hmm.
Turns out one of their
investors is local
Rick Vernon.
Well, Rick and I have
been friends for 40 years.
You've been friends with everyone
in this town for 40 years.
Because I'm a friendly person.
[LOU] Okay, they came here to discuss
some last minute details
of the IPO with him.
Rick was also the one who got
them in contact with their shaman.
We'd like to question him.
No, you better let me handle that.
Both Rick and his ex-wife
are on the City Council.
Gotta tread lightly there.
I'll question him, and
he won't even realise it.
We do this little thing
called 'unquestioning'.
[HENRY] Right. Well,
that's already a word.
It means 'accepting things blindly'.
Thank you, Professor. I left
my dictionary on my desk.
[LOU] Uh, what is a guy your age
investing in crypto for anyway?
Well, after the divorce,
he started wearing skinny
jeans and fancy sneakers.
He got a neck-lift. It's a
full blown midlife crisis.
Well, if he's your age,
his life is way more than halfway over.
Also, are you wearing makeup?
Yeah, a little powder and some base.
Because apparently, my life
is more than halfway over.
They don't know it's
a murder investigation,
so just follow my lead.
God, when can I question
people on my own?
When you can prove you can do it
without being insulting,
annoying, or generally weird.
Studies show that a fear of offending
leads to critical errors
in high stakes jobs
like Scandinavian crime
fighters and Japanese aviators.
Yeah, weird stuff like
that. That has to stop.
Hello. I'm Esther. Come on in.
I'll let the guys know that you're here.
Doesn't she remind
you a little of Marci?
I don't see it at all.
Liar.
This morning, it really
hit me, you know
Kev was my ride or die, and he died.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
And Kevin was your CEO?
Officially, we were all equal partners.
The three amigos.
Shaking up the world of crypto.
So yours isn't a bogus currency
whose value can be artificially
manipulated with ease, or
[AJ] I'm sorry, what does any of
this have to do with Kevin's accident?
Uh, standard procedure
in an accident like this.
In case of a wrongful death claim
against the shaman for
providing the drugs.
Uh, the shaman didn't
provide the mushrooms.
I bought them in
Seattle. Am I in trouble?
Oh, no, it's not, uh
Or we're not, uh
No. No.
Psilocybin has been
decriminalised in Seattle.
You're You're not
in any trouble at all.
[LOU] Now, did each of
you bring your own baggie,
or did one of you bring
all three baggies together?
We had been drinking beforehand,
so honestly, it's hard to remember.
[LOU] Of course.
And the shaman said you may
have videos on your phone.
Do you think I could take a look
just to confirm the timeline?
I also managed to lose
my phone in the craziness.
We've already contacted Kevin's family.
Nobody wants to file a complaint.
And if you don't have
any more questions,
we'd like to get back
to mourning our friend.
Actually, I have several more.
Of course.
We're just legally required
to grab a quick urine sample
from both of you first.
The mushrooms may have been
tainted with a toxic substance.
We need to know if there's
a public health risk.
Again, just standard
procedure, as per the CDC.
This is ridiculous. We
didn't do anything wrong.
It's cool, bro.
We don't want anyone else to get sick.
So let me guess, that was to get
their fingerprints too, right?
Yeah, but I also wanted
to see how they'd react.
On Earth, we call it
understanding human behaviour.
Something you definitely
need my help with.
[HENRY] And right now,
are you helping me learn
how to do a nine point turn?
[LOU] Shut up. They built it wrong.
[HENRY] Equally suspicious that
the other one lost his phone.
Yeah, and what about the assistant?
She bought the mushrooms.
No, can't place Esther at the scene.
Ooh, Esther! Whoa
Well, I don't think you want
to consider Esther a suspect
because you have a little crush.
That is an outrageous accusation.
Come on. She obviously
reminds you of Marci, and
- [CAR HONKING]
- It's a tight turn!
[CROWD CHATTERING]
They make a cut right here,
and then they zig, zag, zig,
right down to the Adam's apple.
And that's why they
call it a 'Z-plasty'.
Oh, my God, Rick,
it's like you've got the
neck of a 30 year old again.
It's amazing. Oh, speaking of which,
how about that poor kid that OD'd, huh?
I heard you invested in his company.
- Oh, so awful, you know?
- [HANK] Yeah.
The worst part is I'm
the reason they're here.
Well, don't beat yourself up about it.
I mean, they would have found a
place to party with or without you.
Celebrating the big IPO, I understand.
It was supposed to be in May,
but one of their competitors
is going public soon.
I couldn't talk them
out of moving it up.
Generation never listens.
I blame phones and weak moral character.
Amen. Hey, I gotta
run. Good luck tonight.
Yeah, thanks, buddy.
And thanks for that generous donation.
Ha, ha, ha
- When you do this 'unquestioning'.
- Yeah?
I see Detective Olivia Benson
inside body of handsome man.
- Please, just stop. Stop it.
- Just call her.
If you don't stop it, I'll
tell Dad you broke his recliner
having sex with Bobby
Dugan in high school.
Don't threaten me. You
wore a cape in Junior High,
- and I have pictures.
- It was a cloak. I would never wear a cape.
Hey, hey, you made it in time.
About to have my big moment.
I want us all up on stage together.
Did you talk to Richard Vernon?
Of course, but no shop talk
now. Gotta get my game face on.
Chief! Chief, the Chinooks
Club reserved the bar after us
and says that we're cutting
into their chapter meeting.
So we've got angry Chinooks at the door.
Okay, okay. Earl!
Hey, ten minutes, okay?
Just 10 more minutes. 15 at tops. 20.
If all the cops are here,
who's guarding the donut shop, Hickman?
[CHUCKLING] Oh, go
coil a hose, Flanagan.
We're about to leave
the fireman's fundraiser in the dust.
We would have sold a lot more calendars
if you hadn't trashed
the idea in the paper.
All I said was that raising
money for Children's Hospital
by selling shirtless fireman calendars
sexualised paediatric cancer.
[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]
[BUD] All right,
everybody, I'm Bud Grady,
coach of the Eden Vale football team.
Go, Eagles!
Big Hank Hickman and I
have been friends since,
well, going on forever.
And so it's my pleasure
to bring the man of the hour
up here on stage right now.
Come on, let's give him a hand.
Come on, make him feel welcome.
Thanks, brother. That
was good. I appreciate it.
Okay, hey
How about the year the Eagles
are having this year, huh?
- [CROWD CHEERING]
- Coach is doing a great job.
Gonna beat Birch Creek this year, huh?
Go, Eagles.
Alright, well, thank you
all for coming anyway.
I really appreciate it.
Great turnout tonight.
And I'm afraid I'm gonna ask you
to dig deep one more time now,
because those kids, these
kids are counting on me
like they always do. Sorry.
- Here we go.
- Like clockwork.
Won't you help me make their
futures a little brighter?
[CLICKING]
[HANK] Oh, come on.
You gotta be kidding me.
Who killed the lights back there?
Hello? Did we blow a
fuse? What's going on now?
- [GLASS SHATTERING]
- [PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
[HANK] What the hell was that?
For God's sake, somebody
turn on the lights here.
Oh, okay, great. Sorry, folks.
I'm sure it was just a
Chief! The fishbowl!
[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
Oh, no.
Now I'm glad we came.
Now, to sum up, first we have Flanagan,
who blames me for sabotaging
his calendar fundraiser.
Pretty good calendar this year.
I prefer your more
full-figured gentlemen.
Dennis gives me warmth
in the winter time
and shade from the sun, if you copy.
I copy.
Eyes up here, ladies.
[HANK] The Chinooks:
they are a secret society
with mysterious rites and rituals,
so I don't put anything past them.
Finally, pizza delivery guy,
who I stiffed for ruining
my giant table-sized pizza.
Now, since Henry and Lou are too busy
Solving murder.
No back talk, please.
I need one of you to step up
and lead this investigation.
I will be up your butt with
a flashlight and a microscope,
and failure is not an option. Anyone?
Just a second, Bradley. Anyone
else?
Look, son, accusing a
Chinook of a crime is serious.
You could at least get our titles right.
I'm sorry, Mister Exalted Ruler.
[SAM] And who did you say
was closest to the fuse box
when the lights went out?
Was it the Loyal Knight?
He's the Leading Knight.
Jack's the Loyal Knight.
I'm so sorry.
And as I said, Frank was the closest.
He's our Treasurer.
His title is just 'Treasurer'?
You have a problem with our titles?
No. No problems here. A wonderful shirt.
Is that pink?
- It's salmon.
- Right.
Salmon.
[MAN] I told you.
My manager said I had
to wait for the $42.50.
[SARIKA] And when it never came,
you stole it from a bunch
of sick kids, didn't you?
- [BANGING]
- Didn't you?
No.
[FLANAGAN] I didn't take
your stinking money, Hickman.
And good luck finding out who did.
You couldn't crack a case
of twist-top Rainiers.
Yeah, go play on your pole, Flanagan.
Hey, the pizza guy
was a dead end, Chief,
but I'm not giving up on this case yet.
Did you say 'yet'?
What do you mean 'yet'?
You're in charge of
this investigation, kid.
Well, I meant 'at all'.
I'm not giving up 'at all'.
I don't know why I said that.
Right.
[HENRY] The nose is all wrong.
[LOU] Well, you were bound to wind
up behind bars sooner or later.
It's the only quiet place to work.
Remember when Dad used
to let us play in here?
Remember when you locked me in here
and went to see Titanic?
Our babysitter canceled,
I had no choice.
So, Dad just told me
that Vernon wanted the
bros to postpone the IPO,
but they ignored him.
Could be something.
So could this.
Judging by their social media,
Kevin was engaged to
Todd's ex-girlfriend.
Hmm, could speak to motive.
Good job.
So, I was thinking, and you're right,
I should let you interview
a witness solo for once.
Finally.
Who am I interviewing?
The assistant, she just called.
Oh, Esther? Why did she
I mean, how did she, uh
What's she want?
She has some information to share
that she doesn't want
to say over the phone
or in front of her bosses.
Is she coming here?
No, too crowded.
You're meeting her at The Pioneer.
Are you having me question her
to make a point about Marci?
That is offensive.
No, no, because even if I had
unresolved feelings
about her, which I don't,
I am more than capable
of talking to a witness
who reminds me of her,
even though she doesn't.
Sure, sure. It's a date.
Nope. No, it's not. Don't call it that.
Hey, it's definitely not a date.
[COUNTRY SONG PLAYING]
I feel weird about talking to you.
Oh, well, you shouldn't.
There's nothing weird about this at all.
Certainly not to me.
Hello, Henry. Oh, my goodness.
I thought you were Marci Lane.
Henry, doesn't she look just like Marci?
Ah, I don't know what you mean.
Your old girlfriend,
the glasses, that face,
it's almost spooky.
Oh, they used to come in here
all the time back in the day.
Thank you, Gladys.
I'm just interviewing a
witness right now, so
God uncanny.
[HENRY] She's very old. Confused.
So tell me what you came here to say.
I think that AJ was up to something
behind Kevin and Todd's backs.
He's been acting really
strange the past few days,
and then he had a call with
this local investor this morning
when we arrived that I know for a fact
he kept from the other two.
Was the investor's name Richard Vernon?
Facelift? Age-inappropriate clothing?
Fighting a losing battle
against the onslaught of time?
[CHUCKLING] That's him.
You're funny. Does everyone
tell you you're funny?
Well, like on purpose?
Well, not Not everyone.
What was the nature of the call?
It sounded like they were going
to meet about the IPO tonight,
but I don't know if that's
still happening after, you know.
Was there ever any friction
between Kevin and Todd
in regards to Kevin's fiancée?
Ex-fiancée. He broke it off with her
two weeks ago after
Janet gave him chlamydia,
which he somehow didn't already have.
I take it you and he weren't close.
If you're asking me if I
liked Kevin, the answer is no.
But the other two are way worse.
I promise, if I wanted
to kill one of them,
he'd be my third choice.
[GLADYS] Can I show you
this picture of his ex?
[HENRY] Just the check.
Thank you, Gladys.
[GLADYS] Okay, don't get snippy.
So old.
[URGENT MUSIC]
Wait a second.
What if the evidence, was in a circle?
Well, shoot, that didn't
make a lick of difference.
What, no brownie? I texted you.
I was working.
Working on a hot date?
How'd it go? Are you in love?
Are you gonna slowly
mould Esther into Marci
like Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo?
You know, if you're
so in love with Marci,
why don't you call her?
Oh that's a good one "You call her".
Did you ask about Kevin's fiancée?
Ex-fiancée.
They broke up two weeks ago
because she gave him chlamydia.
Interesting.
We just got the test results
back, and Todd has it too.
That's why he didn't
want to give a sample.
Also, Esther said that
AJ is up to something
with Vernon behind
the other two's backs,
and she said they're probably
gonna see each other tonight.
Looks like you and I
are going on a stakeout.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Been out here three hours.
Maybe Esther was wrong.
Could have someone relieve
us if Dad hadn't commandeered
the entire force for
a misdemeanour theft.
They're gonna figure
out who took the money.
You watch.
I know they're green,
but they all have something
to bring to the table.
Like what?
Take Szczepkowski.
Total computer whiz,
which we desperately need.
I recruited him to become a cop
when he was setting up my home network.
He jumps when the microwave dings.
Yeah, he's green, but he'll get there.
And I know Ray's a little too gung ho.
She told me she walked down the
aisle to the Marine Corps Hymn.
It was a beautiful ceremony.
Ray knows how to think like a criminal
because she's very intuitive.
And also, both her parents
have done hard time.
And Bradley?
What does Bradley bring to the table?
Bradley?
Not gonna lie.
Still waiting to find
out, but I know it's there.
He just needs a win, and solving
this case will give him one.
- You stole the money.
- I did, yeah.
Teach them a lesson?
To teach Dad a lesson about not
making charity all about him.
But I thought it could be
a teachable moment for the team, too.
They'll never figure it out.
You want to bet?
Loser has to do
whatever the winner says.
I'll take that action.
What'd you do with the money?
Donated it anonymously. It's
the only true form of charity.
Listened to a podcast about it.
Do you ever read actual books?
[SCOFFS] Books are overrated.
That's a concerning statement.
You must have had an accomplice.
Someone to turn out the lights.
Lily.
The whole thing appealed
to her dark, twisted soul.
Mine, too.
I completely approve of this operation.
I happen to be very good at
helping people learn things
they are resistant to learning.
Not this again. I don't want
to talk about Marci with you.
I know you don't feel good about
the way things ended with her.
- She broke up with me.
- Of course she did.
Three years together, and
she gets a call from Seattle
that you left town without
talking to her first?
I had that fight with Dad. It was late.
I was upset. I got in my
car. I started driving.
I spent months trying to
convince her to come join me.
She made her choice.
She had a life. She was in med school.
Yeah, Central Valley. She was
far too smart for that place.
I'm surprised that degree
is valid across State lines.
Stop! You feel guilty
about your side of it.
I know you do. I see it. And
if you don't deal with it
Why do you refuse to stop
hounding me about this thing?
Because I want you to let
me be your big sister again.
I want you to ask my
advice and value my opinion.
And, I don't know, let me
take care of you sometime.
It's supposed to be my
job. It used to be my job
and I missed it.
I thought part of why you came back
was because you missed it, too.
[SIGHING]
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
Hang on. Is this our guy?
[GATE BUZZING]
[LOW TENSE MUSIC]
[HENRY] You know, this is
technically trespassing.
Nah, we're just dropping
in on an old family friend.
Infrared security camera.
Way ahead of you.
Aluminium blocks infrared rays.
Got that from a podcast, so there.
Hello, Bradley. How is investigation?
Great, now he's got you checking on me.
You know, I have seen every
episode of every CSI, yes?
Even not so good one
with James Van Der Beek.
Yeah, so?
So maybe I help you solve case.
[CHUCKLING]
Look, no offence, but, you
know, if the Chief heard
I asked his girlfriend for help,
he'd lose all respect for me.
Seems like small thing
to risk, but okay.
[WHISPERING] Wait, wait.
The news about Kevin isn't online yet,
but I'm sure it's about to be.
What about Todd? Does
he suspect anything?
I don't think so.
AJ, look me in the eye.
Do we have a Todd problem?
No, we're good.
One more day, this will all be over.
You just go back to the hotel.
Oh, wait, one thing. You didn't
say anything about my new kicks.
What?
These shoes. They're limited edition.
Great colourway, huh?
[AJ] Sure, Rick. They're super cool.
My ex-wife thinks I'm
too old to wear these,
but Jeff Goldblum has a pair,
and he's in his seventies.
[SHERIFF] Hold it right there!
Detectives?
[RICK] What the hell's going on here?
[SHERIFF] Someone blocked
the infrared camera,
and it triggered the silent alarm.
[HENRY] But I don't understand.
You got that trick from a podcast.
Do you two have any
idea how lucky you are
that Rick Vernon is not
pressing charges for trespassing?
AJ was up to something with Vernon.
Plus, he lied about losing his phone,
which may have evidence
of who killed Kevin.
Vernon should be considered
an active suspect.
Oh, really? Okay.
Well, I just got off the phone with him.
His investment was
legally locked in pre-IPO,
which means if the company craters,
he never sees a dime of his money.
And what they were up to
was plotting to force the two
dumber ones out after the IPO,
which, it turns out,
is absolutely legal.
If we could just get a
subpoena of that phone.
No! You only know about that phone
because of your illegal surveillance.
They're getting on a plane soon.
They're gonna hide behind their lawyers.
We'll be lucky to speak
to them ever again,
let alone get a look at those videos.
We just hope that big
red unsolved homicide
doesn't put our clearance
rate behind Appleton's.
Oh, that's not happening.
You two are getting your
butts over to that hotel,
and you are gonna get them to
voluntarily show you that phone.
Somehow, some way, you
are gonna solve this
before they get on that plane.
That's an order!
- On our way.
- You got it.
And any chance you can check
in on Bradley? He's so
[BOTH] No.
[SAM CLAPPING]
Bradley? Have you been here all night?
Uh, no, no, um
Hey, tell me you got something.
[SARIKA] I think we
might. Tell him, Sam.
Well, I was able to
stitch together a timeline
based on social media posts
before and after the lights went out,
and I determined the exact length
of the blackout was 14 seconds.
So we went back to the
barn, I did a trial run.
From the fuse box to the fishbowl
and back took 12.4 seconds,
and that's on an empty
stage with the lights on.
You see what we're getting at?
We're looking for a blind guy.
What? No, no. It had to be a team.
One working the lights
and one grabbing the money.
Wait, now we have to catch two people?
Man. Ugh. I am so lost.
I don't even know where I messed up,
but I guarantee you, it was
the dumbest mistake in the book.
It's just too bad there
isn't an actual book,
because then you can
just do the opposite
of whatever it says
the dumbest mistake is.
Wait, Szczepkowski.
You are a damn genius.
What?
What did he mean?
I don't know, but it
feels good to be praised.
Now, we're running out of
time, so remember, don't
I know, I know. Follow
your lead. Be nice.
Make the bad guys friendship bracelets.
Yeah, no, I was actually gonna say,
we don't have time to play it my way,
so don't be afraid to cut to the chase.
Oh, good.
Hey, Esther.
Hey.
If you're looking for
the guys, they're inside.
We're leaving, if I can ever
fit all of this into the trunk.
Well, you can easily
fit those smaller bags
underneath the front seat.
Marci would have known that.
We don't have time to
answer any more questions
about the accident.
We're going back to Seattle.
We need to see the
videos on the phone, now.
Bro
He told you he lost his phone.
[PHONE RINGING]
Oh, didn't I tell you?
I found it in the car.
No, dog, you didn't mention it.
I must have dropped it
when Esther picked me up.
- [AJ] I was so fried.
- Hand it over.
[AJ] Look, Detectives,
I'm not sure how much you
follow the financial papers
here in Smallville, but
there are many confidential
and sensitive documents on
this phone related to our IPO,
so unless you have a
subpoena, I'll pass.
Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right.
I'm not really a newspaper gal.
I do enjoy the occasional
financial podcast,
and it strikes me the
reports you dragged your heels
in your partner's murder investigation
could set off some alarm
bells with SEC and FINRA.
You think he was murdered?
[HENRY] It's the kind
of story you can imagine
on the front page of every
financial paper in the country,
which I do read.
And then I'd guess
And again, I'm just a simple
small town Detective
You'll have to withdraw the
IPO, face evaluation penalty,
and push back to Q2 of
next year, if not Q3.
And by then, the rest of
the crypto house of cards
may have fallen,
and your pretend money won't
be worth any money at all.
Bro, give him the phone.
Fine.
[PHONE BEEPING]
[AJ ON PHONE] Let's
go, dog. Hand them out.
Hey, don't be grabby.
I'm the official distributor,
and this one's mine.
[KEVIN ON PHONE] Whoa, whoa, hold up.
Don't go giving yourself
the biggest quantity bag.
CEO gets first pick.
[LOW TENSE MUSIC]
Oh! Come on, get up.
I don't believe it.
He gave himself the poison ones.
What are you saying?
Kevin killed himself? Why?
Maybe because he found
out one of his best friends
was plotting with Richard Vernon
to force both the
partners out after the IPO.
That's why you didn't
want us to see your phone.
Bro.
Dude.
[LOU] Maybe because he found
out his other best friend
gave his fiancée chlamydia.
- You gave Janet chlamydia, too?
- What do you mean, too?
Yeah, I already gave
it to AJ's girlfriend.
Technically, one of my girlfriends,
but yeah, not chill.
You're both terrible people.
Well, that was unsatisfying.
Completely. But there's
no other explanation.
He chose the bag.
No one else could have
controlled the outcome.
Wait a minute.
Remember those logic
puzzles we were talking about
and how you used to come
crying to me for help?
That's because they made no sense.
Not because I wasn't smart enough.
If anything, I was too smart.
Listen, there was this one
you couldn't figure out,
and you got all mad about it.
It was called The King's Assassin.
The King tells the assassin
to kill the man who wants his throne.
[HENRY] It was ludicrous.
A complete cheat.
He stabs the wrong man, but
the King rewards him anyway
because the assassin says,
"Well, technically, every man
in the Kingdom wants the throne."
It doesn't matter who you kill
If every option is your enemy.
- [CAR STARTING]
- [HENRY] Esther.
Esther.
Told you it was a tight turn.
So she put the poisoned
mushrooms in one of the bags
and then didn't care who got it?
She hated all three of them,
and she knew that if
any one of them died,
it would derail the IPO.
[LOU] Esther invested in
their biggest competitor's IPO
next month, which stood
to make her a huge windfall
with her bosses out of the way.
Look at the two of you,
solving another murder,
just like I always
[LOU] Oh, Dad, come on.
If you cry, I'll cry.
I would strongly prefer if nobody cried.
Hey everybody, come
to the briefing room.
- Bradley solved the robbery.
- Can't he just come in here?
Oh, come on. He wants to
have his Knives Out moment.
- It's cute.
- Alright.
[JOE] Ladies and gentlemen,
what I'm about to say
may come as a shock to you,
but I have determined
beyond a shadow of a doubt
that the two perpetrators
are both in this room.
Impossible.
[JOE] Well, that's
what I thought, Chief,
but I made the most common
mistake a Detective can make.
[NADIA] And
Nadia, I need you to tell
me the number one screw up
- a Detective always makes on TV.
- No! Again.
Simple.
Good Detective knows sometimes
is last person he expects.
Alright, now once I opened it
up to being someone in this room,
I returned to the scene of the crime
to examine the light switch,
and I found a distinct
residue of strawberry lip balm.
And that could have been anyone.
[JOE] But no, no, Lily
was not the mastermind.
Next, I had Szczepkowski
check the mail server,
and he found a series of
emails between a workstation
and the Children's
Hospital donation portal,
and I immediately knew what happened.
Yeah, I mean, that's
gotta mean something.
An anonymous donation? How
do you get credit for that?
Well, I think that was
exactly the point, Chief.
The mastermind behind
the fishbowl robbery,
which wasn't actually a robbery,
is Detective Lou Hickman.
- [ALL GASPING]
- Oh, I don't know why I gasped.
I was with him when he figured it out.
[APPLAUDING]
Thank you.
Okay, you got me. You got me, Lou.
Only true form of charity
is anonymous donation.
Heard that in a podcast somewhere.
Okay, everybody back to work.
Nice job, son.
Never a doubt in my
mind you'd come through.
Thanks, Chief.
Yeah, that's Bradley's superpower.
He knows what he doesn't know.
So he knows a lot.
Okay, I lost the bet.
What do you want me to do?
I think you can guess.
Marci's office is in there.
I know.
I saw on her Instagram,
she always wanted to
open a clinic of her own.
So I was thinking, something like,
"Hello, Marci."
How's that sound?
- That's that's good.
- Good?
Right, well, I'll just
go in and say hello.
Not today, though. Today's
just a bit too soon.
- Yeah, baby steps.
- Right.
- You'll know when it's time.
- Mm hmm.
- I don't mean to push.
- Yes, you do.
That's what older sisters are for.
I prefer 'big sister' to 'older'.
Hm-mm.
No, I tower over you. Big
sister would be ridiculous.
["THIS WILL BE OUR YEAR"
BY THE ZOMBIES PLAYING]
And this will be our year ♪
Took a long time to come ♪
You don't have to worry ♪
All your worried days are gone ♪
And this will be our year ♪
Took a long time to come ♪
And I won't forget the way
you held me up when I was down ♪
And I won't forget the way you said ♪
"Darling I love you" You
gave me faith to go on ♪