Good Girls Revolt (2015) s01e02 Episode Script
The Folo
1 I want to remind you that this is a safe space, and the purpose of this exercise is for you to acknowledge the truth of your experiences.
Raise your hand if you've ever had a sexual relationship with someone at work.
Okay.
Raise your hand if you've ever slept with your boss.
If you're not sure if the man you're thinking of is your boss or not, but you are sure you screwed him, raise your hand.
Okay.
Next week, we'll try that with your eyes open.
- Hi.
- And all she wants to do is sing from the moment she wakes up.
You must be exhausted.
Same time next week? We alternate between meeting here and my friend's apartment one floor up.
Let me introduce you.
- Hi.
Eleanor.
- Ariana.
Would you like some? Let me rescue you from your staring.
You might start making people uncomfortable.
I've just never been a part of something like this before.
- How are you? - Good.
Thanks.
Okay.
Did you talk to Lenny about the diaphragm? I called my doctor, and I'm getting a new one, so N-No.
I couldn't talk to Lenny.
I just couldn't.
I've never been married, but I guess I thought you could talk to your husband about everything.
- Oh.
- Again, I wouldn't know.
Yeah.
No.
She's terrifying.
- Who is she? - That's Eleanor Holmes Norton.
She's an attorney from the ACLU.
She drops in on these meetings to wake women up, so she says.
How do you ladies know each other? - Oh, we work together.
- At, uh, News of the Week.
Ah.
Fancy publication.
Yeah.
It's fun.
No days is ever the same as the next.
Oh, I wasn't as taken with it.
- I quit.
- Why? They don't let women write.
We do write files for the reporters, to help them with their stories.
So is that the role that you want? Being of service to men? It's the tradition there.
You know what else was a tradition? Separate water fountains.
It's not like that.
If women aren't allowed the same kinds of jobs as men, that's illegal.
Uh, illegal? Yes.
Ladies.
Circle back up for our final exercise.
Oh, and please bring your compacts.
We're going to be celebrating our beautiful bodies by looking at our vulvas.
I think I'm going to go.
- I'm going to come with you.
- Okay.
You ladies have a case.
I want to talk to you more about it.
Did she just say "vulva"? [horn honks.]
Tim Buckey: Just like a buzzin' fly I come into your life Now I float away Like honey in the sun Mm, oh Was it right or wrong? I couldn't sing that song Anyway Oh, but, darlin', now I remember How the sun shone down - How it warmed your - [knock on door.]
- Who is it? - It's me, Patti.
Open up.
Marybeth? My God! You're the one I talk about - [knocking.]
- [laughing.]
Come on.
[lock rattles.]
[giggling.]
Hi, Sissy! - Hi.
- Oh! Marybeth! Hey, you two look adorable.
We got engaged.
Look at that stardust.
He asked me at Rockefeller Plaza just now.
- He got down on one knee.
- I was down there for about 45 minutes before she could answer.
Everyone was clapping.
It was so special, Patti.
Oh, wow.
I had to come and tell you before anyone else.
I'm so glad you did.
I'm so surprised.
I'm happy.
I'm happy for you.
Of course I'm happy for you.
I'm so happy for you.
Ohh! We have so much to do in just a few weeks.
- Let's just enjoy it tonight.
- Wait.
Why so fast? I I'm I go off to basic in February.
I didn't know you enlisted.
Yeah, his number was drawn at the lottery.
Yeah, on television two nights ago.
I watched it, but they didn't say names.
Randy, I'm so sorry.
Um Take off your coats.
Can Are you hungry? We can't stay.
Yeah.
My hazard lights are on down at the curb, so we should - I'm s I'm sorry.
- Okay.
But come home tomorrow.
You know, Mom's making a huge dinner.
- It'll be fun.
- I have to work.
But I'll try to figure something out.
We should go.
Hey, thank you so much for coming to tell me in person.
That means a lot.
It's just dinner, if you can stand it.
I can stand it.
It would mean a lot to me, and you haven't been home in months.
I'll be there.
[chatter.]
- You know, I - Thank God you changed it.
I was starting to see polka dots in my sleep.
I thought I was looking in a circus.
The Feds say they're responding proportionately to threats.
Hoover wants millions of dollars and a big bump in manpower.
My source tipped me to an item in the new budget under Domestic Surveillance.
It was buried.
Dig up that damn grave.
How are they justifying the ask? Hoover's guys point to crime stats in big cities.
Bullshit.
Which kinds of crime? What cities? And while you're up their ass, find out if they're buying any new wire tap gadgets.
I love the G-man equipment.
Ralph, you're on the Altamont follow.
Make sure those pricks at Rolling Stone know we're not backing down on our coverage.
You got it.
Wick? Wick are you in there? I'm sorry, but there's a phone call.
Wick! You better have the fucking ghost of JFK on the phone.
It's Mamie.
God damn it.
Sam, your exit interview with the Fed chairman.
How are we? There's nothing I don't know about the recession or deposit ceiling rates of interest.
And my bond trader buddies tell me that Martin's defending the gold standard, despite Nixon's objections.
There's no rationale for the stupid gold standard anymore.
It's magical thinking, and if you can get him to admit that, you'll have a story.
You know Martin and I played in a charity golf tournament a few years back.
He's not funny.
"Just the facts" kind of guy who knows the whole world hangs on his every word.
I think I speak for all Jews when I say that's who I want in charge of my money.
Newbie's got a sense of humor.
- When's the sit-down? - 4:00.
Let me know how that goes.
And don't sweat it.
Martin's only one of the smartest men on planet Earth.
You'll be fine.
Thank you, boys.
Meeting is adjourned.
Ohh.
Mamie Eisenhower's bloomers are in a bunch because she did not get her Sunday copy of the magazine.
Finn, you had me take her off, unless I'm mistaken.
I thought I was in charge of the Sunday Night List.
In general, yes, but I wanted to add somebody.
When I add somebody, I like to take somebody off.
- It keeps it special.
- Who did you add? Kirk Douglas.
Kirk Douglas.
So we bump a former First Lady and the widow of the finest military mind of our era for a Hollywood pretty boy? Our Sunday Night List is the 40 most powerful decision makers and influencers.
Mamie is the relic of a dead president.
Finn, he sells popcorn.
I admire his success, his taste, and his wife.
He's currently the only man in America I can say that about.
[chuckle.]
Pardon me.
Ahem.
How was that story meeting? We're doing a piece on the FBI upping their domestic surveillance.
Who are they surveilling? The bad guys.
What am I doing here? Oh.
Are you okay? No.
My little sister got engaged.
It's not as scary as domestic surveillance, but it still freaks me out.
Is the guy a jerk? No.
He's from our neighborhood.
Randy.
He's a wrestler All state, actually.
Yeah? What weight class? - That's not the point.
- Then what is the point? She's only 18, and she's never been outside of our town.
She doesn't know what her choices are, and now she's going to get married and be of service to a high school wrestler.
You know, my parents got married at 18.
They went to college together, and they're still going strong.
You met my parents, right? Oh.
No.
You didn't.
Okay.
I knew that if I told you I was going to San Francisco to get a story for Sam, you would have told me not to.
Actually, you have no idea what I would have said.
Oh! Oh, damn it! This is not your toilet.
Ugh! Damn it.
Ohh.
Uch.
Here I go.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, God.
Thank I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Thank you! I did it.
I looked down there, and it did not make me feel beautiful.
It made me feel not normal.
Well, honey, do you know what normal looks like? I mean, I had an image in my mind, you know, but but that image did not match what I saw down there.
I can't stop thinking about that woman from the ACLU.
[door opens.]
Oh, good morning.
Where are you going? I'm just going to run some errands for Doug.
Jane, have you looked at your vulva? What? No.
Patti.
No.
That is medical.
That is for my doctor.
And my future husband.
Wait a second.
Jane, are you a virgin? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
I don't think that's a good idea.
- If it's what she wants.
- It is what I want.
Jimi Hendrix wants you to be experienced for your future hu I was a virgin when I got married.
I just looked at my vulva for the first time.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
We are at work.
But for the record, I am proud to know that my white wedding will not be a fraud.
Wait.
Just for the record, you do other stuff, though, right? - I did.
- Well, I'm not frigid.
So what do you do, like, blow jobs? - No.
- Really? - God, I did.
- Hand jobs? You know, BJs always hurt my neck, though.
I could never find a good angle.
If you use your hand at the same time - You use your hand? - Okay, the two of you out, please? Go be crude somewhere else.
- Enjoy your vulva.
- Oh, Patti! My great thinkers, listen up, please.
I may regret this, but at the moment I'm actually interested in your nascent opinions.
Everyone on our musty Sunday Night List is now officially up for grabs.
Who do we want to get our news first? Who's relevant? Wick has a hard on for Mamie Eisenhower.
Jesus.
Anybody? What do you got? Brady, you served.
Talk some sense into this tenderfoot.
Sorry chief, I'm a Stevenson man.
I went to Princeton.
- What year? - '58.
Go, Tigers.
Uh, does Jackie get a copy? Indefinitely.
How about Senator Russell? All the Congressional leadership, Cabinet secretaries, Teddy Kennedy.
- All covered.
- Even after Chappaquidick? He's a living Kennedy.
How about Goldwater? Ever since we put Mao on the cover, he won't touch us.
But the Madame Mao centerfold was one of our best.
Right you are, Jane.
Gil? Gil Hodges? You're fired.
I'm a Yankees fan.
[laughter.]
He's joking.
- I think.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Joe Namath and not Jonny Unitas? - Are you fucking kidding me? - That's a good point.
Scratch Namath.
- No! - Namath's a fox! Well, the girls like their beefcake.
Beefcake Namath stays.
For the Pit.
- Yay.
- Thank you.
Thank you all for your valuable opinions, gentlemen and ladies.
Here are my questions for Chairman Martin.
- Can you - Type them up? Hey, this is not the poll I got.
That's the poll I got.
Gabe.
Jane.
That's right.
I like your vest.
You dress like my grandfather.
Is that a Compliment? Yes.
I admire my grandfather.
He was very stylish.
Wick wants you to select a replacement for Nora.
They're all qualified girls.
Ahem.
I feel the need to intercede here.
Big opportunity, young man.
He's picking a new girl today.
Let's see what we've got, fellas.
They have all been vetted by the agency and pre-approved by personnel.
Bernice Hafner types 50 words a minute and already had her cherry popped at the Dailies.
Not possible.
Only prudes work at the Dailies.
And they can all start by end of the day.
Good luck.
Whoever you call, make sure she has Dimples of Venus.
- What are those? - And are they contagious? - And get her waist size.
- What? No! Get it! Mmm.
Is that a delicious peace offering? Why, Doug, I'm so glad you asked.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
This is your favorite pre-lunch second breakfast: Two strips of crispy But never burned bacon and orange slices.
I know you're still mad that I stood you up and that I helped Sam with his Altamont cover.
And I also understand that you might need some more time to cool down from that.
- Still - If I may, you're doing really well right now.
Resist the urge to get the last word in.
Still, I am ready, even eager, to move forward whenever you are.
Thank you.
How can I help? Ahem.
This is last year's FBI budget.
This is the new proposed one.
The Bureau's gross budget simply keeps up with inflation, which means the increase in counter-surveillance numbers deprived some other poor department of their funding.
So who got the smaller piece of the pie? Exactly.
And that'll lead us to who the Bureau considers a big enough threat to throw money at.
Hmm.
I'm looking at gear and materiel right now.
Finn's hot for G-man equipment.
Good to know.
Why don't you compare staffing budgets? Okay.
Mm-mm.
[humming.]
Oh.
Are you going to hum while you chew? Yes.
But only as long as it bothers you.
Ah.
Got it.
[humming loudly.]
I'm gonna have to put you to work after lunch.
I am working right now.
I've done six captions since I got here.
More work.
I need you to sit while I adjust these fill lights.
Sure.
I'm taking staff photos.
Oh, for award submissions? Mm-hmm.
Have you won lots of awards? I'm not gonna answer that.
- That means that you have.
- Did I ever tell you about the best staff photo ever taken? No, but I'm not gonna sit for you until you do.
I'll bring it tomorrow.
It was this guy at the Post-Gazette who had one ear that he could make a few inches higher than the other.
At first, you don't know what's strange about this guy, and then it's the only thing you can see.
- [giggling.]
- He was cool.
He made the paper use that for his Pulitzer submission.
Our priest used to move his hairline.
Yeah, it looked like someone was tugging on a wig.
I want to see a priest do that.
Well, he died so Oh, sorry.
No.
He's alive.
[laughing.]
Don't look into the sun.
Oh, God! Do not look directly into the sun.
Denise, you have a beautiful speaking voice, and your boss at The Star said you were a good girl.
You know what? It says here you're 25.
Is that your age or your waist size? [snickering.]
You're honest.
I like that.
Uh-huh.
So So you have the address? Okay.
Well, then we'll see you this afternoon.
Bye-bye.
I typed up the questions, starting with general present-day issues and ending with Martin's goals for his legacy.
Where's the question about defense spending? All post-war spending is on the second page.
It's all there.
Are you nervous? Try to get past the economics.
With the Chairman of the Federal Reserve? And unearth his private life.
You think that's the key to this sit-down? My father always says, "Get a man to talk about his family", and you'll end up hearing about his business.
" And what is Daddy Hollander's advice about how to get his daughter to go out with me? My brain hurts.
I never feel stiff until I see someone else stretching.
You need a break? I just wish Randy hadn't been drafted because if he hadn't been drafted, I really think that his relationship with Marybeth would have run its course in a couple more months.
How do you know that? Marybeth is so smart.
She's the smartest one of all of my sisters.
She would have thrived in college or art school.
She's an amazing artist.
They got her, Doug.
The sleepwalkers, they got her.
You told me no one's ever meeting your parents, and now I understand why.
They're zombies.
No.
No.
They're human.
My mom makes dinner for my dad every night.
I don't think he even knows how to work the appliances in the kitchen.
- What? Like the toaster? - No.
Like the blender.
I don't know.
It's frustrating.
And if the grandkids are home, he'll just walk in, step over their toys.
I have never and I will never see my mom stop and step over their toys.
No.
She will pick them up every time.
Maybe your dad figures he works all day.
He's done his job, and she is a homemaker.
That's her job.
But she didn't know that she had the choice to do anything else.
But Marybeth does.
And she's choosing to marry him.
I hate this.
Okay? You know who I hate? Hoover.
Let's take him down.
Okay.
Mr.
Greenstone? Hi.
I'm Denise.
26-inch waist? Hi.
I'm sorry.
I Denise.
Of course.
Uh, why don't we go upstairs? I'll show you around.
Uh, the piece I'm working on Bob Dylan's wife had a son, another kid, so I'm doing a brief on it.
I could call the Vital Records office, get his birth certificate.
That would be good.
Who's up there? Oh, the editor: Finn.
That's why we call it Finnland.
His last name's Woodhouse, so if you're in trouble, they call it the Woodshed.
They're big into color-coding here.
Um, uh the paper.
Uh, blue means it's foreign, uh, pink means it's out of Washington, yellow is anything domestic but not out of D.
C.
, and green is in-house Meaning here.
Oh, Cindy, where's Jane? Uh, I don't know.
Can you show our new researcher Denise to personnel? Thank you.
Yes? Nyet.
The Training Division received no money for new Russian speakers.
James McCall is the head of the Anti-Soviet desk, and he is going to be one very grumpy comrade.
Yeah, we tried to get a copy of the birth certificate, of course, but we were unable to.
Now I just need to confirm they are spelling Jakob with a K.
Thank you.
Okay.
Yeah.
Goodbye.
I thought the temp agency sent over your new researcher this morning.
Yeah, they did.
Because it seems like you're taking up valuable time doing tasks she could be doing.
I'm not sure this one's a good fit, either.
Why? Did you ask her to do something she couldn't? No, I just The best reporters in the building, I've found, are good at delegating.
Otherwise, nothing would ever get finished.
Mm.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Oh.
Yeah.
You, too.
- Talk.
- The Black Panthers are now Public Enemy Number One.
They're the bad guys who need to be watched.
Right.
I'll tell Finn.
Is this going to be a late night or an early morning? As much as I would love to have a late night with you And I would Can I come in early tomorrow morning? Because I'd like to catch the 5 p.
m.
bus home.
Oh.
Sure.
Good.
- Thank you.
- Yes.
Go.
I'm gonna talk some sense into Marybeth.
- What? - Or you could give her a blessing.
Actually, I can't because that would be phony.
Then, by all means, tell her how to live her life.
That's exactly what somebody wants to hear - the day after they get engaged.
- I didn't ask for your advice.
If Sam calls, tell him I'm on my way.
Okay.
Yeah.
No.
Right now, I'm less interested in who the Bureau is investigating.
I want to know how you guys are circumventing the Freedom of Information Act so you can do whatever the hell you want.
Finn? I couldn't find you.
I'm standing in a fishbowl in the middle of a newsroom surrounded by professional observers.
Open your eyes, Angie.
Talia's cooking tonight.
I promised I'd have you home in time for dinner.
That sounds just lovely.
I gave her my word.
Are you insinuating your word means more than mine? The girls can't wait to see you.
I can't wait to see them.
That's what I thought.
Finn.
This FBI story's hotter than I thought.
That Mona Lisa smile.
I mean, what are you thinking? That I have 28 more captions to write.
[laughing.]
Captions-snaptions.
What are you really thinking? I was thinking about how I hung out with a bunch of groovy women last night.
You must have fit right in.
- [chuckle.]
- Can you turn a little to your left? A little more? Hold on one sec.
Diana Ross: Oh, yeah, right now we're so tight And I want to say Some day we'll be together Ah, yes, we will, yes, we will Perfect.
Some day We'll be together Yes, we will, yes, we will Mm.
Oh.
Some day We'll be together [shutter clicking.]
Some day We'll be together I've been here less than a week, and I'm already sick of the selection.
Luckily, I'm not there yet.
How's your story? Oh.
It's, uh pretty groundbreaking.
Bob Dylan is naming his son Jakob but with a K.
Kacob.
No.
uh, J-A-K-O-B.
Ah.
That's better.
Want a Mallo Cup with a C? No, thanks.
Could you make some calls for me? I'd be happy to.
Hello.
Hiya, doll.
I'm hoping you can help me.
I need to deliver something to the Chairman's office.
Unless you have an appointment, you'll have to leave the item here.
We'll send it up with the next courier.
When does he go up? In the next hour or so.
Discretion is of the utmost import.
I would never want to put the Chairman in a compromising position by making an appointment.
I need to return something to him before his wife visits him here later this evening.
Sam! Oh, thank God.
- I couldn't remember anything that - Hmm! Hi.
I'm with him.
Sam Rosenberg? Yes, sir.
Chairman.
Your secretary can take notes.
No tape recorder.
- She - Of course.
After you.
My editor Finn Woodhouse said you two go way back.
We don't.
He was mistaken.
Oh, well, I thought he said Never mind, never mind.
They weren't lying.
Being here is like coming to the dentist.
Who's the patient? I feel like maybe we got off on the wrong foot.
A Mulligan? Well, for starters, how are you going spend your first few days off the clock? Any family plans? My wife is planning a vacation to the beach.
She claims she can get me to unwind even if it kills her.
Your children must be thrilled to get some down time with you.
I think that they are.
But I think my wife and children know where my priorities were.
Which brings us to gold.
Inflation is almost 6%.
The gold standard isn't working anymore.
The dollar remains and will remain convertible into gold.
Do you really believe that a big, modern economy like ours should depend on A shiny yellow rock? People's faith in the dollar is based on their ability to turn it into gold.
It's been that way since ancient Greece.
When Apollo controlled the sun.
Sounds like magical thinking.
Superstitions make us feel safe.
That's good for the economy.
Finn is going to flip out! How's this? Martin admitted he has doubts about the office and said superstitions sometimes inform "Superstitions make us feel safe, and that's good for the economy.
" That's what he said.
- I gotta call Finn.
- Mm-hmm.
Get in here.
Sam.
I'll need to read him the quotes.
You're goddamn beautiful up close.
Finn Woodhouses office.
Ahem.
Uh, hey, Angie, is Finn there? It's Sam.
Back there felt like a bank heist.
We're Bonnie and Clyde.
Let's rob a bank.
Finn: Talk to me.
Hey, I got him.
Finn, I got him.
- What'd he say? - Yeah.
What wouldn't he say? You were right, though.
No sense of humor.
[chuckles.]
Give me the skinny.
Our Fed Chairman believes in some black magic.
No kidding? Yeah, it's going to write itself.
[humming.]
Okay, boss, I'm heading home.
Sam got an exclusive with the Fed Chairman.
Good.
Good night.
Hey.
Listen.
I would have appreciated a heads up before you took the list over.
Don't need your permission to change up the list, Wick.
Finn.
Not permission.
Courtesy.
A courtesy, especially after what happened last week when my Vietnam story got bumped for the Altamont.
I don't owe you more courtesy this week because we ran another cover last week.
Look, if we get too comfortable, like with the Sunday Night List, before we know it, you won't have a table at the "21" Club.
I'm not here to dine.
I know, and I appreciate that.
But dining is part of the job.
We've got to stay in the mix.
And we're no good anywhere else.
We're opinionated sons of bitches who get bored easily.
What would we do without this place? So you were actually trying to help me.
- Yes, I was.
- Yes, you were.
I promised Talia.
- It's like I have two wives.
- And no girlfriends.
Oh, Jesus.
You're here late.
Yeah.
You, too.
But I'm leaving.
Do you need anything? Oh, no, I'm all right.
Thank you.
Are you sure? Ralph always has snacks.
You know all the secrets.
I really do.
Good night.
Good night.
Who's saying grace? Patti.
Oh, let Marybeth do it.
Why? Did you forget them all? No.
I did not.
Bless us, O Lord, for these gifts we're about to receive from Your bountiful hands.
In Jesus' name we pray.
- Amen.
- All: Amen.
Randy, have you heard anything about where they're sending you? Nothing yet.
No.
Can I get some ice in my water? - Yes.
- He can get his own ice, Mom.
I got it.
Hey, how many people does that room at the Ramada hold? I went to a wedding there last fall.
No more than 60, tops.
My family alone is about 100 Irish drunks.
[laughter.]
Also, I have an aunt and uncle who renew their vows as "oft-ten" as possible just to throw a party.
Often.
Huh? You said "off-ten.
" It's "offen.
" - You don't pronounce the T.
- Mm.
Okay, Patti, can I talk to you for a minute? I'm sorry I corrected Randy.
You can be a real bitch.
I have never heard you say that.
Because you're never around.
He's a decent guy.
Then why did it take you 45 minutes to say yes to him? Because I was crying! I was overwhelmed with happiness.
What is the rush? Are you pregnant? No! No! I just love him.
For God's sake, why can't you just be happy for me? Because I don't understand what you're doing.
I can't breathe here, Marybeth.
Sometimes I actually cannot breathe.
And then I think about you cooking and cleaning for Randy for the rest of your life, and it doesn't make sense to me.
Remember when you wanted to be a painter? And we were going to move to Europe and you were going to stand on the side of the road with an easel? This is what I want now.
Don't worry about me.
I'm living my dream, too, just like you are.
My dream doesn't feel like I imagined it would.
Uhh! No.
Now I'm worried about you.
What's wrong? I don't know.
If you could start smoking, that would make my mooching a little easier.
Charlie's always got some.
[scoff.]
Charlie's one tidy son of a bitch.
Look at this.
You could operate here.
We should do appendectomies right fucking here on his desk as he copy edits.
Why are you here so late? We're days away from printing.
Where's Robinson? She had to go home for a family thing.
You two good? Ah.
Depends on the day.
She's got a lot of fight in her.
That sounds fun.
Wait, what does that mean? It means I don't know whether I'm going to get kissed or kicked.
It could be worse.
Could be boring.
Boring's sounding pretty good right now.
Boring is what you marry.
Crazy is what you date.
Wise words.
I'm the fucking Dalai Lama, right? Patti's just trying to get her groove here.
She's a hippie astronaut on re-entry.
What are you working on, man? This FBI story.
Uh, it started out as a line item on their budget, but it's got legs.
Tell you what, man.
Has anybody updated his obituary here? Whose obituary? Hoover.
That son of a bitch is about to go any day now, - right? - I hope so.
How many fucking years has he been doing this? Jesus.
Oh.
Well, I'm going to sleep like a baby.
Hmm.
That dinner was delicious.
The girls were so excited to have you home for dinner.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
- How about you? - Of course.
I was pleasantly surprised that Angie managed to get you I made it home, okay? Okay, Patti, before I go off to war, I have one question for you, and I want the God's honest truth.
Cross my heart.
July 1958.
Did you or did you not intentionally run into the curb to throw me off the handlebars? Okay, I swear I do not remember, but you were such a brat, I might have done it on purpose.
Are you scared? I'm gonna have a gun.
They better be scared.
I'd be scared.
Well, what are you gonna do? Well you could get a IV-F deferment.
You know, at the magazine, we were writing about these guys who would show up to Induction Centers in clown suits or high on acid.
Some of them are taking handfuls of laxatives before their physicals I'm not gonna crap my pants to get out of the draft.
It was just a suggestion.
[sigh.]
Be good to her.
I know that you will be.
I just need to say it.
I will.
I'd rather leave her a widow who's taken care of than a girlfriend who isn't.
Marmalade: Take me back To my home Oh, I'm gonna go, go home All my sorrows All my sorrows Sad tomorrows Take me back Oh, take me back To my home Oh, well, take me back All my cryin' Oh, all my cryin' Feels like dyin' Hey, pretty girl.
Hi, there.
Why don't you find out what happens in Chapter 4 tomorrow night? Lenny, I I'm not feeling well.
I guarantee this will help you feel better.
No, I don't Ahem I don't feel well.
I'm sorry.
[sigh.]
I'm [chatter.]
- I'm checked.
- Okay.
Gabe.
Oh, yeah.
- Hey, Doug.
- Doug What just hap I got to get in here.
Come on.
If I had to say goodbye to you for a long time, or maybe forever, I I couldn't handle it, Doug.
And I am so sorry if I made you feel like I don't appreciate you because I do.
Why do you have a lamp? I, uh, I brought it back from my parents' house.
And I wasn't very convincing.
She's still going to marry him.
What? I don't Man.
What you said this morning How you're worried about your sister being a servant to her husband after she got married No.
I said being of service.
I haven't stopped thinking about that all day.
To me, you get married because you want to be a team, and then, I don't know, you figure the rest out together.
And no one keeps score.
But damn, Patti, you drain all the fucking fun out of it.
And then I'm to blame, or, because that sounds like a good deal to me, I'm a chump.
I didn't say you were a chump.
It's just You're too complicated.
You're too complicated for me, Patti.
Right.
And you're not up for the challenge because everything has come easy for you.
I'm not gonna keep trying to convince you I'm a good guy.
Let me call you a cab.
Taxi.
Steve Winwood: But I'm near the end And I just ain't got the time Oh, and I'm wasted And I can't find my way home But I can't find my way home
Raise your hand if you've ever had a sexual relationship with someone at work.
Okay.
Raise your hand if you've ever slept with your boss.
If you're not sure if the man you're thinking of is your boss or not, but you are sure you screwed him, raise your hand.
Okay.
Next week, we'll try that with your eyes open.
- Hi.
- And all she wants to do is sing from the moment she wakes up.
You must be exhausted.
Same time next week? We alternate between meeting here and my friend's apartment one floor up.
Let me introduce you.
- Hi.
Eleanor.
- Ariana.
Would you like some? Let me rescue you from your staring.
You might start making people uncomfortable.
I've just never been a part of something like this before.
- How are you? - Good.
Thanks.
Okay.
Did you talk to Lenny about the diaphragm? I called my doctor, and I'm getting a new one, so N-No.
I couldn't talk to Lenny.
I just couldn't.
I've never been married, but I guess I thought you could talk to your husband about everything.
- Oh.
- Again, I wouldn't know.
Yeah.
No.
She's terrifying.
- Who is she? - That's Eleanor Holmes Norton.
She's an attorney from the ACLU.
She drops in on these meetings to wake women up, so she says.
How do you ladies know each other? - Oh, we work together.
- At, uh, News of the Week.
Ah.
Fancy publication.
Yeah.
It's fun.
No days is ever the same as the next.
Oh, I wasn't as taken with it.
- I quit.
- Why? They don't let women write.
We do write files for the reporters, to help them with their stories.
So is that the role that you want? Being of service to men? It's the tradition there.
You know what else was a tradition? Separate water fountains.
It's not like that.
If women aren't allowed the same kinds of jobs as men, that's illegal.
Uh, illegal? Yes.
Ladies.
Circle back up for our final exercise.
Oh, and please bring your compacts.
We're going to be celebrating our beautiful bodies by looking at our vulvas.
I think I'm going to go.
- I'm going to come with you.
- Okay.
You ladies have a case.
I want to talk to you more about it.
Did she just say "vulva"? [horn honks.]
Tim Buckey: Just like a buzzin' fly I come into your life Now I float away Like honey in the sun Mm, oh Was it right or wrong? I couldn't sing that song Anyway Oh, but, darlin', now I remember How the sun shone down - How it warmed your - [knock on door.]
- Who is it? - It's me, Patti.
Open up.
Marybeth? My God! You're the one I talk about - [knocking.]
- [laughing.]
Come on.
[lock rattles.]
[giggling.]
Hi, Sissy! - Hi.
- Oh! Marybeth! Hey, you two look adorable.
We got engaged.
Look at that stardust.
He asked me at Rockefeller Plaza just now.
- He got down on one knee.
- I was down there for about 45 minutes before she could answer.
Everyone was clapping.
It was so special, Patti.
Oh, wow.
I had to come and tell you before anyone else.
I'm so glad you did.
I'm so surprised.
I'm happy.
I'm happy for you.
Of course I'm happy for you.
I'm so happy for you.
Ohh! We have so much to do in just a few weeks.
- Let's just enjoy it tonight.
- Wait.
Why so fast? I I'm I go off to basic in February.
I didn't know you enlisted.
Yeah, his number was drawn at the lottery.
Yeah, on television two nights ago.
I watched it, but they didn't say names.
Randy, I'm so sorry.
Um Take off your coats.
Can Are you hungry? We can't stay.
Yeah.
My hazard lights are on down at the curb, so we should - I'm s I'm sorry.
- Okay.
But come home tomorrow.
You know, Mom's making a huge dinner.
- It'll be fun.
- I have to work.
But I'll try to figure something out.
We should go.
Hey, thank you so much for coming to tell me in person.
That means a lot.
It's just dinner, if you can stand it.
I can stand it.
It would mean a lot to me, and you haven't been home in months.
I'll be there.
[chatter.]
- You know, I - Thank God you changed it.
I was starting to see polka dots in my sleep.
I thought I was looking in a circus.
The Feds say they're responding proportionately to threats.
Hoover wants millions of dollars and a big bump in manpower.
My source tipped me to an item in the new budget under Domestic Surveillance.
It was buried.
Dig up that damn grave.
How are they justifying the ask? Hoover's guys point to crime stats in big cities.
Bullshit.
Which kinds of crime? What cities? And while you're up their ass, find out if they're buying any new wire tap gadgets.
I love the G-man equipment.
Ralph, you're on the Altamont follow.
Make sure those pricks at Rolling Stone know we're not backing down on our coverage.
You got it.
Wick? Wick are you in there? I'm sorry, but there's a phone call.
Wick! You better have the fucking ghost of JFK on the phone.
It's Mamie.
God damn it.
Sam, your exit interview with the Fed chairman.
How are we? There's nothing I don't know about the recession or deposit ceiling rates of interest.
And my bond trader buddies tell me that Martin's defending the gold standard, despite Nixon's objections.
There's no rationale for the stupid gold standard anymore.
It's magical thinking, and if you can get him to admit that, you'll have a story.
You know Martin and I played in a charity golf tournament a few years back.
He's not funny.
"Just the facts" kind of guy who knows the whole world hangs on his every word.
I think I speak for all Jews when I say that's who I want in charge of my money.
Newbie's got a sense of humor.
- When's the sit-down? - 4:00.
Let me know how that goes.
And don't sweat it.
Martin's only one of the smartest men on planet Earth.
You'll be fine.
Thank you, boys.
Meeting is adjourned.
Ohh.
Mamie Eisenhower's bloomers are in a bunch because she did not get her Sunday copy of the magazine.
Finn, you had me take her off, unless I'm mistaken.
I thought I was in charge of the Sunday Night List.
In general, yes, but I wanted to add somebody.
When I add somebody, I like to take somebody off.
- It keeps it special.
- Who did you add? Kirk Douglas.
Kirk Douglas.
So we bump a former First Lady and the widow of the finest military mind of our era for a Hollywood pretty boy? Our Sunday Night List is the 40 most powerful decision makers and influencers.
Mamie is the relic of a dead president.
Finn, he sells popcorn.
I admire his success, his taste, and his wife.
He's currently the only man in America I can say that about.
[chuckle.]
Pardon me.
Ahem.
How was that story meeting? We're doing a piece on the FBI upping their domestic surveillance.
Who are they surveilling? The bad guys.
What am I doing here? Oh.
Are you okay? No.
My little sister got engaged.
It's not as scary as domestic surveillance, but it still freaks me out.
Is the guy a jerk? No.
He's from our neighborhood.
Randy.
He's a wrestler All state, actually.
Yeah? What weight class? - That's not the point.
- Then what is the point? She's only 18, and she's never been outside of our town.
She doesn't know what her choices are, and now she's going to get married and be of service to a high school wrestler.
You know, my parents got married at 18.
They went to college together, and they're still going strong.
You met my parents, right? Oh.
No.
You didn't.
Okay.
I knew that if I told you I was going to San Francisco to get a story for Sam, you would have told me not to.
Actually, you have no idea what I would have said.
Oh! Oh, damn it! This is not your toilet.
Ugh! Damn it.
Ohh.
Uch.
Here I go.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, God.
Thank I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Thank you! I did it.
I looked down there, and it did not make me feel beautiful.
It made me feel not normal.
Well, honey, do you know what normal looks like? I mean, I had an image in my mind, you know, but but that image did not match what I saw down there.
I can't stop thinking about that woman from the ACLU.
[door opens.]
Oh, good morning.
Where are you going? I'm just going to run some errands for Doug.
Jane, have you looked at your vulva? What? No.
Patti.
No.
That is medical.
That is for my doctor.
And my future husband.
Wait a second.
Jane, are you a virgin? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
I don't think that's a good idea.
- If it's what she wants.
- It is what I want.
Jimi Hendrix wants you to be experienced for your future hu I was a virgin when I got married.
I just looked at my vulva for the first time.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
We are at work.
But for the record, I am proud to know that my white wedding will not be a fraud.
Wait.
Just for the record, you do other stuff, though, right? - I did.
- Well, I'm not frigid.
So what do you do, like, blow jobs? - No.
- Really? - God, I did.
- Hand jobs? You know, BJs always hurt my neck, though.
I could never find a good angle.
If you use your hand at the same time - You use your hand? - Okay, the two of you out, please? Go be crude somewhere else.
- Enjoy your vulva.
- Oh, Patti! My great thinkers, listen up, please.
I may regret this, but at the moment I'm actually interested in your nascent opinions.
Everyone on our musty Sunday Night List is now officially up for grabs.
Who do we want to get our news first? Who's relevant? Wick has a hard on for Mamie Eisenhower.
Jesus.
Anybody? What do you got? Brady, you served.
Talk some sense into this tenderfoot.
Sorry chief, I'm a Stevenson man.
I went to Princeton.
- What year? - '58.
Go, Tigers.
Uh, does Jackie get a copy? Indefinitely.
How about Senator Russell? All the Congressional leadership, Cabinet secretaries, Teddy Kennedy.
- All covered.
- Even after Chappaquidick? He's a living Kennedy.
How about Goldwater? Ever since we put Mao on the cover, he won't touch us.
But the Madame Mao centerfold was one of our best.
Right you are, Jane.
Gil? Gil Hodges? You're fired.
I'm a Yankees fan.
[laughter.]
He's joking.
- I think.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Joe Namath and not Jonny Unitas? - Are you fucking kidding me? - That's a good point.
Scratch Namath.
- No! - Namath's a fox! Well, the girls like their beefcake.
Beefcake Namath stays.
For the Pit.
- Yay.
- Thank you.
Thank you all for your valuable opinions, gentlemen and ladies.
Here are my questions for Chairman Martin.
- Can you - Type them up? Hey, this is not the poll I got.
That's the poll I got.
Gabe.
Jane.
That's right.
I like your vest.
You dress like my grandfather.
Is that a Compliment? Yes.
I admire my grandfather.
He was very stylish.
Wick wants you to select a replacement for Nora.
They're all qualified girls.
Ahem.
I feel the need to intercede here.
Big opportunity, young man.
He's picking a new girl today.
Let's see what we've got, fellas.
They have all been vetted by the agency and pre-approved by personnel.
Bernice Hafner types 50 words a minute and already had her cherry popped at the Dailies.
Not possible.
Only prudes work at the Dailies.
And they can all start by end of the day.
Good luck.
Whoever you call, make sure she has Dimples of Venus.
- What are those? - And are they contagious? - And get her waist size.
- What? No! Get it! Mmm.
Is that a delicious peace offering? Why, Doug, I'm so glad you asked.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
This is your favorite pre-lunch second breakfast: Two strips of crispy But never burned bacon and orange slices.
I know you're still mad that I stood you up and that I helped Sam with his Altamont cover.
And I also understand that you might need some more time to cool down from that.
- Still - If I may, you're doing really well right now.
Resist the urge to get the last word in.
Still, I am ready, even eager, to move forward whenever you are.
Thank you.
How can I help? Ahem.
This is last year's FBI budget.
This is the new proposed one.
The Bureau's gross budget simply keeps up with inflation, which means the increase in counter-surveillance numbers deprived some other poor department of their funding.
So who got the smaller piece of the pie? Exactly.
And that'll lead us to who the Bureau considers a big enough threat to throw money at.
Hmm.
I'm looking at gear and materiel right now.
Finn's hot for G-man equipment.
Good to know.
Why don't you compare staffing budgets? Okay.
Mm-mm.
[humming.]
Oh.
Are you going to hum while you chew? Yes.
But only as long as it bothers you.
Ah.
Got it.
[humming loudly.]
I'm gonna have to put you to work after lunch.
I am working right now.
I've done six captions since I got here.
More work.
I need you to sit while I adjust these fill lights.
Sure.
I'm taking staff photos.
Oh, for award submissions? Mm-hmm.
Have you won lots of awards? I'm not gonna answer that.
- That means that you have.
- Did I ever tell you about the best staff photo ever taken? No, but I'm not gonna sit for you until you do.
I'll bring it tomorrow.
It was this guy at the Post-Gazette who had one ear that he could make a few inches higher than the other.
At first, you don't know what's strange about this guy, and then it's the only thing you can see.
- [giggling.]
- He was cool.
He made the paper use that for his Pulitzer submission.
Our priest used to move his hairline.
Yeah, it looked like someone was tugging on a wig.
I want to see a priest do that.
Well, he died so Oh, sorry.
No.
He's alive.
[laughing.]
Don't look into the sun.
Oh, God! Do not look directly into the sun.
Denise, you have a beautiful speaking voice, and your boss at The Star said you were a good girl.
You know what? It says here you're 25.
Is that your age or your waist size? [snickering.]
You're honest.
I like that.
Uh-huh.
So So you have the address? Okay.
Well, then we'll see you this afternoon.
Bye-bye.
I typed up the questions, starting with general present-day issues and ending with Martin's goals for his legacy.
Where's the question about defense spending? All post-war spending is on the second page.
It's all there.
Are you nervous? Try to get past the economics.
With the Chairman of the Federal Reserve? And unearth his private life.
You think that's the key to this sit-down? My father always says, "Get a man to talk about his family", and you'll end up hearing about his business.
" And what is Daddy Hollander's advice about how to get his daughter to go out with me? My brain hurts.
I never feel stiff until I see someone else stretching.
You need a break? I just wish Randy hadn't been drafted because if he hadn't been drafted, I really think that his relationship with Marybeth would have run its course in a couple more months.
How do you know that? Marybeth is so smart.
She's the smartest one of all of my sisters.
She would have thrived in college or art school.
She's an amazing artist.
They got her, Doug.
The sleepwalkers, they got her.
You told me no one's ever meeting your parents, and now I understand why.
They're zombies.
No.
No.
They're human.
My mom makes dinner for my dad every night.
I don't think he even knows how to work the appliances in the kitchen.
- What? Like the toaster? - No.
Like the blender.
I don't know.
It's frustrating.
And if the grandkids are home, he'll just walk in, step over their toys.
I have never and I will never see my mom stop and step over their toys.
No.
She will pick them up every time.
Maybe your dad figures he works all day.
He's done his job, and she is a homemaker.
That's her job.
But she didn't know that she had the choice to do anything else.
But Marybeth does.
And she's choosing to marry him.
I hate this.
Okay? You know who I hate? Hoover.
Let's take him down.
Okay.
Mr.
Greenstone? Hi.
I'm Denise.
26-inch waist? Hi.
I'm sorry.
I Denise.
Of course.
Uh, why don't we go upstairs? I'll show you around.
Uh, the piece I'm working on Bob Dylan's wife had a son, another kid, so I'm doing a brief on it.
I could call the Vital Records office, get his birth certificate.
That would be good.
Who's up there? Oh, the editor: Finn.
That's why we call it Finnland.
His last name's Woodhouse, so if you're in trouble, they call it the Woodshed.
They're big into color-coding here.
Um, uh the paper.
Uh, blue means it's foreign, uh, pink means it's out of Washington, yellow is anything domestic but not out of D.
C.
, and green is in-house Meaning here.
Oh, Cindy, where's Jane? Uh, I don't know.
Can you show our new researcher Denise to personnel? Thank you.
Yes? Nyet.
The Training Division received no money for new Russian speakers.
James McCall is the head of the Anti-Soviet desk, and he is going to be one very grumpy comrade.
Yeah, we tried to get a copy of the birth certificate, of course, but we were unable to.
Now I just need to confirm they are spelling Jakob with a K.
Thank you.
Okay.
Yeah.
Goodbye.
I thought the temp agency sent over your new researcher this morning.
Yeah, they did.
Because it seems like you're taking up valuable time doing tasks she could be doing.
I'm not sure this one's a good fit, either.
Why? Did you ask her to do something she couldn't? No, I just The best reporters in the building, I've found, are good at delegating.
Otherwise, nothing would ever get finished.
Mm.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Oh.
Yeah.
You, too.
- Talk.
- The Black Panthers are now Public Enemy Number One.
They're the bad guys who need to be watched.
Right.
I'll tell Finn.
Is this going to be a late night or an early morning? As much as I would love to have a late night with you And I would Can I come in early tomorrow morning? Because I'd like to catch the 5 p.
m.
bus home.
Oh.
Sure.
Good.
- Thank you.
- Yes.
Go.
I'm gonna talk some sense into Marybeth.
- What? - Or you could give her a blessing.
Actually, I can't because that would be phony.
Then, by all means, tell her how to live her life.
That's exactly what somebody wants to hear - the day after they get engaged.
- I didn't ask for your advice.
If Sam calls, tell him I'm on my way.
Okay.
Yeah.
No.
Right now, I'm less interested in who the Bureau is investigating.
I want to know how you guys are circumventing the Freedom of Information Act so you can do whatever the hell you want.
Finn? I couldn't find you.
I'm standing in a fishbowl in the middle of a newsroom surrounded by professional observers.
Open your eyes, Angie.
Talia's cooking tonight.
I promised I'd have you home in time for dinner.
That sounds just lovely.
I gave her my word.
Are you insinuating your word means more than mine? The girls can't wait to see you.
I can't wait to see them.
That's what I thought.
Finn.
This FBI story's hotter than I thought.
That Mona Lisa smile.
I mean, what are you thinking? That I have 28 more captions to write.
[laughing.]
Captions-snaptions.
What are you really thinking? I was thinking about how I hung out with a bunch of groovy women last night.
You must have fit right in.
- [chuckle.]
- Can you turn a little to your left? A little more? Hold on one sec.
Diana Ross: Oh, yeah, right now we're so tight And I want to say Some day we'll be together Ah, yes, we will, yes, we will Perfect.
Some day We'll be together Yes, we will, yes, we will Mm.
Oh.
Some day We'll be together [shutter clicking.]
Some day We'll be together I've been here less than a week, and I'm already sick of the selection.
Luckily, I'm not there yet.
How's your story? Oh.
It's, uh pretty groundbreaking.
Bob Dylan is naming his son Jakob but with a K.
Kacob.
No.
uh, J-A-K-O-B.
Ah.
That's better.
Want a Mallo Cup with a C? No, thanks.
Could you make some calls for me? I'd be happy to.
Hello.
Hiya, doll.
I'm hoping you can help me.
I need to deliver something to the Chairman's office.
Unless you have an appointment, you'll have to leave the item here.
We'll send it up with the next courier.
When does he go up? In the next hour or so.
Discretion is of the utmost import.
I would never want to put the Chairman in a compromising position by making an appointment.
I need to return something to him before his wife visits him here later this evening.
Sam! Oh, thank God.
- I couldn't remember anything that - Hmm! Hi.
I'm with him.
Sam Rosenberg? Yes, sir.
Chairman.
Your secretary can take notes.
No tape recorder.
- She - Of course.
After you.
My editor Finn Woodhouse said you two go way back.
We don't.
He was mistaken.
Oh, well, I thought he said Never mind, never mind.
They weren't lying.
Being here is like coming to the dentist.
Who's the patient? I feel like maybe we got off on the wrong foot.
A Mulligan? Well, for starters, how are you going spend your first few days off the clock? Any family plans? My wife is planning a vacation to the beach.
She claims she can get me to unwind even if it kills her.
Your children must be thrilled to get some down time with you.
I think that they are.
But I think my wife and children know where my priorities were.
Which brings us to gold.
Inflation is almost 6%.
The gold standard isn't working anymore.
The dollar remains and will remain convertible into gold.
Do you really believe that a big, modern economy like ours should depend on A shiny yellow rock? People's faith in the dollar is based on their ability to turn it into gold.
It's been that way since ancient Greece.
When Apollo controlled the sun.
Sounds like magical thinking.
Superstitions make us feel safe.
That's good for the economy.
Finn is going to flip out! How's this? Martin admitted he has doubts about the office and said superstitions sometimes inform "Superstitions make us feel safe, and that's good for the economy.
" That's what he said.
- I gotta call Finn.
- Mm-hmm.
Get in here.
Sam.
I'll need to read him the quotes.
You're goddamn beautiful up close.
Finn Woodhouses office.
Ahem.
Uh, hey, Angie, is Finn there? It's Sam.
Back there felt like a bank heist.
We're Bonnie and Clyde.
Let's rob a bank.
Finn: Talk to me.
Hey, I got him.
Finn, I got him.
- What'd he say? - Yeah.
What wouldn't he say? You were right, though.
No sense of humor.
[chuckles.]
Give me the skinny.
Our Fed Chairman believes in some black magic.
No kidding? Yeah, it's going to write itself.
[humming.]
Okay, boss, I'm heading home.
Sam got an exclusive with the Fed Chairman.
Good.
Good night.
Hey.
Listen.
I would have appreciated a heads up before you took the list over.
Don't need your permission to change up the list, Wick.
Finn.
Not permission.
Courtesy.
A courtesy, especially after what happened last week when my Vietnam story got bumped for the Altamont.
I don't owe you more courtesy this week because we ran another cover last week.
Look, if we get too comfortable, like with the Sunday Night List, before we know it, you won't have a table at the "21" Club.
I'm not here to dine.
I know, and I appreciate that.
But dining is part of the job.
We've got to stay in the mix.
And we're no good anywhere else.
We're opinionated sons of bitches who get bored easily.
What would we do without this place? So you were actually trying to help me.
- Yes, I was.
- Yes, you were.
I promised Talia.
- It's like I have two wives.
- And no girlfriends.
Oh, Jesus.
You're here late.
Yeah.
You, too.
But I'm leaving.
Do you need anything? Oh, no, I'm all right.
Thank you.
Are you sure? Ralph always has snacks.
You know all the secrets.
I really do.
Good night.
Good night.
Who's saying grace? Patti.
Oh, let Marybeth do it.
Why? Did you forget them all? No.
I did not.
Bless us, O Lord, for these gifts we're about to receive from Your bountiful hands.
In Jesus' name we pray.
- Amen.
- All: Amen.
Randy, have you heard anything about where they're sending you? Nothing yet.
No.
Can I get some ice in my water? - Yes.
- He can get his own ice, Mom.
I got it.
Hey, how many people does that room at the Ramada hold? I went to a wedding there last fall.
No more than 60, tops.
My family alone is about 100 Irish drunks.
[laughter.]
Also, I have an aunt and uncle who renew their vows as "oft-ten" as possible just to throw a party.
Often.
Huh? You said "off-ten.
" It's "offen.
" - You don't pronounce the T.
- Mm.
Okay, Patti, can I talk to you for a minute? I'm sorry I corrected Randy.
You can be a real bitch.
I have never heard you say that.
Because you're never around.
He's a decent guy.
Then why did it take you 45 minutes to say yes to him? Because I was crying! I was overwhelmed with happiness.
What is the rush? Are you pregnant? No! No! I just love him.
For God's sake, why can't you just be happy for me? Because I don't understand what you're doing.
I can't breathe here, Marybeth.
Sometimes I actually cannot breathe.
And then I think about you cooking and cleaning for Randy for the rest of your life, and it doesn't make sense to me.
Remember when you wanted to be a painter? And we were going to move to Europe and you were going to stand on the side of the road with an easel? This is what I want now.
Don't worry about me.
I'm living my dream, too, just like you are.
My dream doesn't feel like I imagined it would.
Uhh! No.
Now I'm worried about you.
What's wrong? I don't know.
If you could start smoking, that would make my mooching a little easier.
Charlie's always got some.
[scoff.]
Charlie's one tidy son of a bitch.
Look at this.
You could operate here.
We should do appendectomies right fucking here on his desk as he copy edits.
Why are you here so late? We're days away from printing.
Where's Robinson? She had to go home for a family thing.
You two good? Ah.
Depends on the day.
She's got a lot of fight in her.
That sounds fun.
Wait, what does that mean? It means I don't know whether I'm going to get kissed or kicked.
It could be worse.
Could be boring.
Boring's sounding pretty good right now.
Boring is what you marry.
Crazy is what you date.
Wise words.
I'm the fucking Dalai Lama, right? Patti's just trying to get her groove here.
She's a hippie astronaut on re-entry.
What are you working on, man? This FBI story.
Uh, it started out as a line item on their budget, but it's got legs.
Tell you what, man.
Has anybody updated his obituary here? Whose obituary? Hoover.
That son of a bitch is about to go any day now, - right? - I hope so.
How many fucking years has he been doing this? Jesus.
Oh.
Well, I'm going to sleep like a baby.
Hmm.
That dinner was delicious.
The girls were so excited to have you home for dinner.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
- How about you? - Of course.
I was pleasantly surprised that Angie managed to get you I made it home, okay? Okay, Patti, before I go off to war, I have one question for you, and I want the God's honest truth.
Cross my heart.
July 1958.
Did you or did you not intentionally run into the curb to throw me off the handlebars? Okay, I swear I do not remember, but you were such a brat, I might have done it on purpose.
Are you scared? I'm gonna have a gun.
They better be scared.
I'd be scared.
Well, what are you gonna do? Well you could get a IV-F deferment.
You know, at the magazine, we were writing about these guys who would show up to Induction Centers in clown suits or high on acid.
Some of them are taking handfuls of laxatives before their physicals I'm not gonna crap my pants to get out of the draft.
It was just a suggestion.
[sigh.]
Be good to her.
I know that you will be.
I just need to say it.
I will.
I'd rather leave her a widow who's taken care of than a girlfriend who isn't.
Marmalade: Take me back To my home Oh, I'm gonna go, go home All my sorrows All my sorrows Sad tomorrows Take me back Oh, take me back To my home Oh, well, take me back All my cryin' Oh, all my cryin' Feels like dyin' Hey, pretty girl.
Hi, there.
Why don't you find out what happens in Chapter 4 tomorrow night? Lenny, I I'm not feeling well.
I guarantee this will help you feel better.
No, I don't Ahem I don't feel well.
I'm sorry.
[sigh.]
I'm [chatter.]
- I'm checked.
- Okay.
Gabe.
Oh, yeah.
- Hey, Doug.
- Doug What just hap I got to get in here.
Come on.
If I had to say goodbye to you for a long time, or maybe forever, I I couldn't handle it, Doug.
And I am so sorry if I made you feel like I don't appreciate you because I do.
Why do you have a lamp? I, uh, I brought it back from my parents' house.
And I wasn't very convincing.
She's still going to marry him.
What? I don't Man.
What you said this morning How you're worried about your sister being a servant to her husband after she got married No.
I said being of service.
I haven't stopped thinking about that all day.
To me, you get married because you want to be a team, and then, I don't know, you figure the rest out together.
And no one keeps score.
But damn, Patti, you drain all the fucking fun out of it.
And then I'm to blame, or, because that sounds like a good deal to me, I'm a chump.
I didn't say you were a chump.
It's just You're too complicated.
You're too complicated for me, Patti.
Right.
And you're not up for the challenge because everything has come easy for you.
I'm not gonna keep trying to convince you I'm a good guy.
Let me call you a cab.
Taxi.
Steve Winwood: But I'm near the end And I just ain't got the time Oh, and I'm wasted And I can't find my way home But I can't find my way home