Grantchester (2014) s01e02 Episode Script

1 (GRUNTING) Ripped By mstoll Your predecessor was the same.
Worked far too hard.
- I'm fine.
- Exactly what he said.
He was dead within a year.
Your sister's here.
(PANTING) She's wearing lipstick.
(PANTING) Shirt.
(DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING) Sidney, you look awful.
Are you working too hard or are you just getting old? (SIGHS) Both, I'm afraid.
Amanda said you didn't reply.
- What? - Her engagement supper.
Very bad manners not to reply.
I was saving her guests the disappointment.
No one wants to sit next to a clergyman at supper.
Well, not every clergyman is you.
The girls from school will be there.
I thought you avoided the girls from school - as a matter of principal.
- That's not true.
- I don't belong at these kind of things, Jen.
- Neither do I.
That's why I need you there.
- There'll be awkward conversation.
- Of course.
Talk of carpets.
Why is it the well-to-do always talk of carpets? Heaven forbid anyone should bring up anything important.
And then there's Amanda.
(SIGHS) Yep.
- Oh, please come.
- (GROANS) - I can catch a bus from Barton Road.
- No, there's no need.
- So, this is the famous Johnny Johnson.
- Please be kind.
- Jen, you're besotted already.
- He does a million and one amazing things.
He likes jazz.
Be kind.
Johnny.
This is Sidney.
Quite a turn up for the books when Jen told me she had a vicar for a brother.
I thought you'd be a teacher or a doctor or something.
So did our parents.
I'm a constant disappointment.
You know, the priest when I was a kid said that his idea of heaven was eating pork scratchings to the sounds of trumpets.
- What'd you think to that? - Er - Sounds about right to me.
- (CHUCKLES).
Right, get in.
(A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON PLAYING) JOHNNY: Have you ever thought of livening up your services with a bit ofjazz? That's actually not a bad idea.
- You're not serious? - Why not? You could never tell if the notes are being played in the right order.
That's the wonder of it Jen.
There's no right way and there's no right order.
I always think people must get very lost.
Getting lost is all part of the fun.
Ridiculous.
You're both ridiculous.
JOHNNY: Bloody hell.
JENNIFER: We are going to have a lovely time.
ALEXANDER: Sidney! We've found a wasp's nest.
We're going to try poking it.
Are you sure that's wise? You're not tormenting those poor wasps, are you? - BOTH: No! - Get us some champagne will you, Am? ALEXANDER: Dad said we could.
AMANDA: Liar.
I'll see what I can do.
I thought you weren't coming.
Jen can be very persuasive.
I've missed my jaunts down to Grantchester.
(SOFTLY) I've missed them too.
(LAUGHS) You have Grass.
HENRY: Please? ALEXANDER: Just one glass? HENRY: Please? Not a hope in hell.
Bath! God, that pair will finish me off.
Sidney.
Excellent.
Someone to say grace.
Oh, Robert! Shall we? - It's stunning.
- It really is.
Can hardly see where the Titanic hit it.
As symbols of oppressive institutions go, it is rather lovely.
No marriage bashing.
Not tonight.
Ah, there goes my fun.
It certainly puts mine to shame.
What's happened to your beau? I'm beginning to think he doesn't exist.
Where's your parish? - Grantchester.
- Grantchester, beautiful church.
Sidney, disappointing us all by becoming a vicar.
I disappointed everyone by going into politics.
Not sure which is worse? JOHNNY: Politics.
Definitely.
We were all in love with Sidney.
Do you remember? When he'd pick up Jen from school.
We mooned over him something chronic.
A man of God.
Such a shame.
(LAUGHTER) There's Lilian.
Glamorous even then.
- I was actually quite striking.
- You still are, darling.
Oh, Daphne.
Your hair.
(LAUGHTER) You look like a lesbian.
- I think I was at the time.
- Daphne! - And there's little Jen.
- Yes! I'm surprised your mother didn't knit your entire uniform.
Where's Amanda? Bottom right.
Commanding as ever.
Guy.
We can't have a party without fireworks.
Yes, let's set them off now.
Er, no.
Dinner first.
- DAPHNE: Oh, thank God, I'm starving.
- Who am I with? You're next to Sidney.
Behave.
I can tell you all about my lodger.
He's looking for work as a curate.
He's a homosexual.
- Come on, darling! - Just a moment, William.
Sidney! I've heard so much about you.
I don't go to church much myself.
Makes me feel like I've done something wrong, I'm afraid.
- That may be the intention.
- Ah! Amanda tells me that of all her friends, you're the one I need to impress.
- Sweet William.
- GUY: She's a wonderful girl.
Yeah, she is.
Well, come on, let's get drunk.
AMANDA: Are you still looking to buy in London? Johnny runs a jazz club.
Soho.
On Wardour Street.
- Do you know it? - I don't think so.
We've got, er, Oscar Peterson coming soon and Gloria Dee.
- I can get you all in if you like.
- Gloria Dee? - She's supposed to be amazing.
- Yeah! EDWARD: William, how's your father? Anxious to know if I've been selected to stand this year.
MP for Cambridge.
All he's ever wanted.
And Sweet William always does what daddy wants.
Well, I shan't say too much, but your father may get some pleasing news very soon.
And how's the house? We're between carpets at the moment.
DAPHNE: Poor things.
WILLIAM: It's awful, isn't it, darling? There's nothing worse than being between carpets.
EDWARD: Will you find a place in London? WILLIAM: Absolutely.
- Although we'll hold onto ours here.
- GUY: Nice to have a bolt hole.
Are you a virgin? - I'm sorry? - Is that why you drink? Repression of your sexual desires.
I lecture in Psychology.
(LAUGHS) No, er, I'm not as it happens.
Mmm, so who was she? Well who said there was only one? Then it must be the war.
Drinking to forget.
AMANDA: Reckless boys.
Careful! Careful, run! (SOFTLY) Why are you marrying him? Because HE asked.
You shouldn't have come.
(LAUGHTER IN BACKGROUND) JEN: Look how it catches the light.
I couldn't have a try, could I? JOHNNY: Don't go getting any ideas, Jen.
GUY: Sidney's quite the amateur sleuth.
- Solved a murder recently.
- A murder? Solicitor, wasn't he? Wife was a Nazi.
She wasn't a Nazi.
GUY: A crime of passion, I hear.
DAPHNE: It's always a crime of passion.
Sex and death are inextricably linked.
It's why the French call an orgasm "la petite mort.
" It was Guy's mother's.
He just knew I would love it.
Man who knows own mind.
Few and far between.
Hold onto him.
- I think my mother had something similar.
- Your mother? Really? Do you remember that dress she made for you for the Christmas ball? Red flannelette.
And that boy asked whether you'd like to dance or be put to bed.
(LAUGHS) Why do you always have to make me feel so small? Oh, Jen.
- (GASPS) - JOHNNY: So sorry.
- AMANDA: No harm done.
- JENNIFER: Johnny! - AMANDA: It's all right, darling.
- No, it isn't.
- Come on.
- No! - Don't be silly, now.
- Don't be silly! EDWARD: Amanda has dresses.
I'm sure there's something you can change in to.
Thank you.
Let's get you cleaned up.
(ANGRILY) No, William.
I won't pretend any more.
I'm tired of pretending.
Where's the ring? SIDNEY: Lt'll be here.
It has to turn up.
AMANDA: Exactly, of course it will.
How about if everybody empties their pockets.
GUY: Good idea.
Oh, here we go.
There's really no need, is there? Well, we'll all do it, shall we? I didn't take it.
- Show them, you've got nothing to hide.
- No, why? Why not him? Hmm? - Or why not her? - Johnny! - I'm so sorry, Daphne.
- Pockets! Now! Guy! Is that good enough? Or d'you want me to strip off an all? William, I want to go home.
Perhaps it's time we all said goodnight.
Johnny? (A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON PLAYING) (PHONE RINGING) (SIGHS) - The vicarage.
- Trouble seeks you out, doesn't it? - Geordie? - Friend of yours, reported his wife missing.
We found her, Sidney.
(FLASH BULB) - GEORDIE: Give me a moment.
- POLICEMAN: Yes, sir.
Usually people don't want to look.
You seen a bit of death, then? What about murder? (SIGHS) You see this? Bashed it as she fell.
But these here Someone grabbed her by a necklace and helped her on her way.
Only there's no necklace.
There's no rings either.
An engagement ring went missing at supper last night.
Might be a connection.
- There might.
- Could be a coincidence.
(SOFTLY) I don't believe in coincidence.
I don't believe in God, so I suppose we're even.
This, er, this argument? They accused my sister's boyfriend of the theft.
He denied it? - You believe him? - Yes, I believe him.
And what about the husband? He trustworthy? He wants to be an MP.
I'll take that as a no.
Two crimes, one night.
- Different locations.
- Same circle of friends.
Police work.
It's all about keeping an open mind, Sidney.
SIDNEY: It's good to see you.
MAN: Wonderful service, Reverend.
- SIDNEY: My regards to Mrs Livingstone.
- Thank you.
I didn't know what to do with myself.
I couldn't stay at home.
- Today is not a day to be alone.
- No.
Lilian could be a bitch sometimes, let's be honest, but She was so young.
So beautiful.
Sorry.
Two things.
Page 13.
I think you'll find it most useful.
And Mr Finch.
He's the curate I told you about.
The homosexual who's looking for work.
Leonard.
This is Sidney Chambers.
I've been in search of shortbread.
I have recently completed my theological training and consider myself ready for a proper parochial position.
You involve yourself in all areas of the community, I imagine? Bible study, fund-raising for the missionaries and whatnot? How well do you know Miss Young? As well as opportunity allows.
She's out most of the time.
With men.
One of them sends her poems.
Really? - Are they any good? - Dreadful.
Although I suppose the name Daphne, is difficult to rhyme.
How was she when she came home last night? In truth, a little tipsy.
If you don't mind me saying, I have never seen a priest make murder his business.
As a priest, isn't everything our business? There's no part of the human heart which is not our responsibility.
Was there anything else? Do you find it a solitary existence? Er Yes.
Often.
Does that worry you? No.
No.
Thank you, you've been most helpful.
What the Dickens was that thing on his face? You're too late.
We finished half an hour ago.
No one's talking.
Your lot, they've closed ranks.
- My lot? - Yeah, you were there last night.
They trust you.
They'll talk to you.
MR BRANT: Mr Chambers.
I have a job, Geordie.
You're off duty now, aren't you? I'm never off duty.
That's the problem.
MR BRANT: We need to talk about the parish council.
I'm so sorry, Mr Brant.
Urgent church business.
They'll never be "my lot," Geordie.
So what, they just like having a man of God to hand? - Something like that.
- Hmm.
Sidney.
How did this happen? I thought I made it clear.
My daughter is distressed.
She's lost a very dear friend.
Inspector Keating is a friend of mine.
I can assure you he will handle this with discretion.
It's harder to be discreet if I have to drag you down the station.
Sly old dog.
Lilian was a school friend of Amanda's.
Lovely girl.
My father held a ball.
She made a beeline for me.
I was never sure why.
We danced all night.
Were married within the year.
She could be brusque sometimes.
Offhand.
Poor Jen.
Plump scholarship girl.
She took the brunt of it.
She made me utterly miserable.
I mean rest in peace and all that but, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a bully.
Lilian was the worst kind.
All smiles while she's kicking Jen in the teeth.
WILLIAM: Lilian went outside for some air.
She usually comes back after a while.
Once she's made her point.
Er, I went to bed.
- Alone? - Yes, alone.
Can anyone verify? - I went to bed.
- Alone? Yes, alone.
- Can anyone verify? - My maid.
Madam went off in a strop.
Sir had a Scotch.
She's always going off in strops.
He's always drinking Scotch.
Guy and I weren't really speaking.
I thought he'd been appalling to Johnny.
So I went to bed.
My lodger saw me come in.
He's a homosexual.
And the engagement ring? Jennifer was admiring it so I passed it to her and then it went to Johnny.
Johnny gave it to me, I passed it to Lilian.
That was when he spilt the champagne.
It's obvious.
He did it to create a distraction.
Johnny Johnson.
That's your man.
Johnny Johnson.
Perfectly ridiculous name.
Is that it? Well, that wasn't too bad, was it? Bloody gentry.
- Everything is done with such - Entitled ease.
Entitled ease.
That's it.
That is exactly it.
Bastards.
They're not all bad.
Especially the girl.
Or have you still got your eye on the German? I can't keep up.
Hildegard is in Berlin.
Hildegard now, is it? It's your move.
You know how men like Sir Edward think.
If you don't pass the port with your right hand or piss with your left, you don't count.
It's the way it's always been.
Johnny, you, me, we're not one of them.
Even you? Even me.
And it's, er It's To the left.
Pass the port to the left.
Johnny's got previous.
Conviction for burglary.
There was a lot of wealth on show.
Maybe he saw an opportunity.
Johnny did not kill Lilian.
He didn't know where she lived.
He came home with us.
Why commit a second crime when everyone already blames you for a first? - Why do that? - All right.
Bloody hell.
Another? Geordie.
Do you think we have a problem with alcohol? Absolutely, we don't have any.
(SIGHS) (GUN SHOT) Sandy! Get down! Stay down! (GASPING) AMANDA: It's your birthday soon.
D'you remember last year? We had a picnic on the Cam.
There were times when I didn't really like Lilian.
Is that a terrible thing to say? Not at all.
Do you believe in curses? (SIGHS) No.
My ring.
Guy's ring.
His mother left it.
She abandoned the family when Guy was barely five.
Doesn't speak much of love, does it? Guy's father and my father are old friends.
What I thought of the match was rather low down the list of priorities.
He will make a good husband.
What if I don't make a good wife? Sidney! Sidney, quick! Quick! GUY: Where is it? AMANDA: Guy.
GUY: I want my property back now! The police aren't doing anything.
We all know it was him.
Back off mate.
I'm serious.
JOHNNY: Bastard.
SIDNEY: Downstairs, now! JENNIFER: Johnny, no! JOHNNY: I didn't nick anything.
I didn't kill anyone! Johnny! Oh! They're not mine.
They're They're Lilian's.
Johnny? He looked like a criminal to me.
It's his brow.
Johnny's got a criminal brow? It slopes.
My Ronnie's was the same.
Well, that's conclusive then.
I know what you're thinking.
Poor Jen and her fanciful expectations.
Always Falling for the wrong sort.
Always disappointed in the end.
How well do you really know him? You're supposed to think the best of people, Sidney.
He couldn't have killed Lilian.
I know because he was with me.
He was in bed with me.
She told you, did she? Bless her.
She thinks that'll give me an alibi.
But we weren't together all night.
Old Bill will still think I had opportunity.
- Everyone believes you killed her.
- Of course they do.
'Cause they've got no imagination.
And what do you think? - I think they're wrong.
- See? Lmagination.
You've gotta get me out of here.
I'll do what I can.
God bless you.
God bless you, Sidney.
Do you know, you're the first person since my ordination to say that.
Pointless exercise, I'm afraid.
We won't see the ring again.
These criminals have a way of making things disappear.
Perhaps now this jazz fellow's been arrested, we can all put this behind us.
We've been at sixes and sevens.
Amanda especially.
Thank goodness she has Guy.
Been an absolute rock.
Wonderful chap.
Oh, he is.
Excellent match, don't you think? Good family, of course.
Not that Guy's one of those stuffy, old-fashioned sorts.
He'll let her keep her job if that's what she wants.
She's lucky.
If you don't mind my saying, she doesn't seem very happy for someone so lucky.
She'd be a darn sight unhappier if the marriage doesn't go ahead.
I'm sure you've seen it before.
Situation like that can cause all sorts of rifts.
Tear a family apart.
I'll let you get on, Sidney.
Doubt we'll have much call to see you from now on.
These poor men.
It's tragic, really.
What alcohol did to them.
- Is that fruitcake? - It's for the Archdeacon.
Why are you making cake for the Archdeacon? Never you mind.
Never make cake for me.
(SIGHS) Burning the candle at both ends.
I'm fine.
Grant Lord, that he may not admit willingly into his soul any thought contrary to thy love.
And that he'll remove those books from the floor, so that I can get to the carpet.
We're between carpets.
You're Lilian, I'm the murderer.
I grab you by the necklace, I strangle you.
I take the jewellery and then I push.
And you dash your head open? - On what? - Exactly.
It's just water.
There's no point of impact.
So we're working on the theory she died elsewhere.
She hit the edge of something hard and straight.
Like A stair.
A stair? Madam went off in a strop and Sir had a whisky.
Edna, do you know your ten commandments? I should hope so.
What do they say about lying? Thou must not tell fibs.
And are you telling fibs now, Edna? He's been ever so nice to me.
And I've dropped ever such a lot of crockery.
Sir made me scrub the place from top to bottom but it wouldn't come off.
So he put the old carpet back down.
Edna! I'll be working upstairs.
On the way home, I didn't have enough money to pay the driver.
Lilian said I was useless.
Worse than useless.
We argued.
It got vicious.
I said some awful things.
- So did she.
- So you grabbed her.
- I honestly didn't mean for it to happen.
- You pushed her.
It was an accident.
You must believe me.
Throwing her body in the river.
Planting the jewellery on Mr Johnson.
Was that an accident too? And Amanda's engagement ring? - Did you take it? - No.
Why would I? So, a coincidence then? Yes.
SIDNEY: Money to pay the driver.
Does that sound like the straw that broke the camel's back? Sometimes it's patently obvious you're a bachelor.
I'm all right.
I'm all right.
Have you lost weight? - You have, haven't you? - Jen.
- Don't you think? - He's only been here a day.
- My poor Teddy Bear.
- Jen! Can I go now? Since Miss Kendall's ring has failed to turn up.
Her father's still pressing charges.
He must know people in high places.
GEORDIE: Teddy Bear.
Not one I've heard before.
Sweet William.
Sidney! We got the wasp's nest.
- Only three stings a piece.
- What are you doing? Is it subterfuge? Top secret subterfuge.
Keep your father busy, will you? (BOTH GIGGLING) (LAUGHTER) Thank you.
Thank you.
Geordie! Sorry.
William Calthorpe.
- What about him? - He lied.
Course he did.
It wasn't a coincidence.
None of it was coincidence.
If it's references you require, I can supply them.
I have an interest in Russian literature.
And history.
All the Kings and Queens.
- I've been told I make an excellent gin and lt.
- Leonard.
I need you to help me with something.
Anything.
Just say the word.
Forgive me but isn't this illegal? And highly immoral? GEORDIE: Yes! SIDNEY: No! It's for the greater good, Leonard.
For the greater good.
- Absolutely.
- Even the stealing? Even that.
Leonard? What are you doing in my office? Excuse me.
That's private.
I don't understand.
GEORDIE: You took the ring.
It was simple enough.
When the champagne was dropped.
Ahhhh! It only needed the simplest sleight of hand.
Where's the ring? Sorry, can I interrupt? Marriage is an outdated institution.
I earn a decent wage.
Why would I take an engagement ring? - To distract us.
- From what? From what Lilian was about to reveal.
My sister has a pet name for Johnny.
Of course she does.
I assume Lilian had one for William.
Love poems.
Sonnets.
To you.
From Sweet William.
You'd been having an affair.
And now you'd been discovered.
She was letting you know in no uncertain terms.
Sweet William.
That she was onto you.
And Sweet William always does what daddy wants.
She'd had enough.
I won't pretend any more.
I'm tired of pretending.
She was on the verge of blowing your cover, and that's when you did it.
Where's the ring? Did Lilian call you to the house? Or did you just turn up? To confront the matter.
- We need to have a conversation.
- It's not the time.
Where's Lilian? SIDNEY: You argued.
- You pushed her.
- (SCREAMS) You took the rings from her hand.
Johnny Johnson was already suspected of a theft.
Why not another? And now murder too.
If I took Amanda's ring, where is it? You didn't take it for financial gain or revenge.
So why remove it from the house at all? Open it.
Go on.
SIDNEY: You hid it in the last place anyone would think of looking.
WILLIAM: Daphne.
The wife of a future MP.
My father considered Lilian a more appropriate match.
Didn't stop you carrying on though, did it? How long was it going on? Lilian found one of the letters, not long after we were married.
I told her it was over but Daphne made me feel alive.
Your sister.
She's the only one of us who got it right.
She doesn't care what people think.
Johnny's the man she loves.
That's all that matters.
The rest of us.
We're all just cowards.
For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow And so say all of us! JENNIFER: No! No you don't.
I found your old copy broken.
- Thank you.
- Not at all.
Mine next.
Oh, it's not another dog, is it? I gave the Archdeacon one of my fruit cakes and now we have a new addition.
I don't want you found dead, Mr Chambers.
You must be starving, let me get you a sandwich.
- Yes.
- I told him straight out that it didn't suit him.
You didn't.
- JOHNNY: Bit of music? - Yes, put it on.
Thank you.
She's under the impression it was the Archdeacon's love of fruit cake that got me the position.
She does make an exceptional fruit cake.
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) - Irish? - Had to be.
Happy birthday.
Do you dance? Mrs Maguire? Not since my Ronnie went.
(DOOR BELL) - Come and dance.
- I can't be long.
I have to get back to London.
(CHUCKLES) It's where you like to walk.
A most un-Christian landscape.
"What the Dickens?" "What the Dickens?" I have something of yours.
He will make a wonderful husband.
And you will make a wonderful wife.
SIDNEY: Jesus tells us, love one another as I have loved you.
Loving one another and giving with all our heart is something we should strive to do always.
And now these three remain.
Faith, hope, and Iove.
Happy birthday, Sidney.
But the greatest of these is love.
We very much hope to be married.
DAISY: Arthur.
Evans.
He's trying to do me in.
How would you feel about marrying us in Grantchester? - Have you been a curate before? - No.
to one of the most fascinating, and major alternatives to the categorical imperative.
Utilitarianism.
Are you sure you're happy to take the wedding? I've never seen a person dead before.
What we have to consider here is the matter of intent.
SIDNEY: If this was murder, she knew her attacker.
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