Hiccups and Hookups (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Hmm. 39. Single mother.
Two moles on the chest.
Vasu, seriously?
What?
This is meant to be a
profile on a dating app, Vasu.
Not an FIR report.
So, I'm not lying! It is there!
And someone would
want to look at it.
Just dump all this
honesty ho-hum.
And let your brother
make your profile.
No chance!
Never mind. I'll manage
- What's this?
- Oh, shit! A calendar email!
Video call at 10 pm
with mom and dad.
God! Is she a mother
or a school principal?
I don't know what post-retirement
plans they're making on their cruisecation!
I just hope they don't
move to Bengaluru.
Vasu, don't say such negative
things so early in the morning.
- Shut up.
- We'll find out at ten o'clock.
Listen, Akku.
Don't tell Gayatri anything
about Dhruv and me, okay?
I'm just not ready yet.
Don't worry,
sis. I got you. I got you.
Sit down.
Look at this woman carefully!
She's the modern Indian woman!
She has separated from her husband,
and her parents have no clue about that.
- She's on the hunt for sex
- Just shut up!
Bio.
A mature woman who
knows exactly what she wants,
and that is 'Fun'
with a capital F.
Dude,
I sound like a freaking cougar!
Shit! shit! - Oh!
It's our cousin Pradeep!
He's in Bengaluru!
He wants to meet tonight!
Akku,
Pradeep is not my scene, man!
And anyway, I have some workshop
with Satvik at the office today.
It's going to finish late.
I don't know what time
I'm gonna get done.
- So, handle him on your own.
- Yes, leave it to me.
Anyway,
I have to go to the office too.
The vibes today
are just fucked up!
Don't forget. Tonight, at 10 pm.
Okay? - Yeah.
Sir.
I'm seeing you at the office
after such a long time, sir.
Pankaj sir is also getting help.
What's the matter? Tell me.
Your face says you have something
to say but don't know how to say it.
If I hadn't sent the
mail about the algorithm,
you wouldn't have come to the office today,
right?
No! That's what you
think of me? Seriously?
How many months has it been
that you have been doing this?
You show up for a day and
then disappear for weeks.
But when I e-mailed you that the algorithm
would be worked upon by the new team,
you showed up on
a Monday morning!
Come on,
Panku. I was working from home.
Don't 'come on, Panku' me, man!
Do you see how stressed
everyone is at Kechup?
- Have you been reading my emails?
- Yes.
- You're taking this too casually.
- Okay. Fine.
Look, I'm here now.
We are in deep shit this time,
brother!
Our downloads are
on a steep decline,
and your coders walk around
the office wearing boxers!
It's okay,
man! We've faced this before, Panku.
Just like I'd said,
it'll happen this time too,
Panku. Chill, man!
That was a different time.
Look,
4 years are like 40 years in tech.
Okay,
tell me. What do I have to do?
Look,
our downloads and our users
are all low. Okay?
There's heavy competition in the
market. There are a thousand new apps.
There's Dandiya, One Night Only,
and God knows what else.
And our burn rate is high.
I'm worried that we'll
struggle to raise funds.
Let me do a code review.
Give me and my team two months.
We'll crack something solid.
That too, in boxers.
Make it happen. - Yes, boss.
Okay, guys! I'm gonna jump now.
Hi.
Hi. My friend is also coming.
Go!
Oh, he's that cousin!
Yeah.
He's that cousin.
I'm gonna pick a
name from this bowl
and tell one truth
about that person.
This is my version
of Truth and Dare.
Gosh! How do people
like him become bosses?
Febin
Febin, your name sounds
as if you're related to Fevicol.
Fe-bin.
Febin, let me tell you about
your growth in this company.
Earlier, you used to wear
white and black shirts alternately.
Now, you wear white,
black and grey shirts alternately.
- Congrats. Well done
- Definitely, sir.
You wanna come to Enso
gallery in the evening?
It's gonna be fun.
Enso? - Yes.
- I love that gallery.
- Then come.
I have a call this evening
with my family at 10 pm.
We'll be done by then.
Vasudha.
Vasudha, this convenient switch
from part-time to a full-time job
because of your personal
crisis. That suits you.
And desperation
makes you look hot.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm happily married.
But don't try for my
job after your divorce.
Definitely, sir.
DD!
- You are definitely best at licking ass.
- Definitely.
Definitely not. Definitely not.
Definitely.
Focus and work hard.
And I hope to see some of
you at Neuford next semester.
Thank you.
So, have you got it,
Kay Khattar?
Maxing a constant nine grade,
Neuford at 18,
marketing internship
at a blue-chip FMCG
or a hot startup.
And then head of branding
at a big media network.
Then back to India at
30 as a country head.
Nailed it.
LOL.
Brosephine, you know
everyone here has
got the same plan.
So? My focus is sorted.
Aww, who told you that? Mom?
Mom's mom.
Why are you nagging me?
Hey, Kavanya. - Hi!
- Good to see you again.
- Thank you.
Listen,
you didn't RSVP for that party invite.
- What party?
- Navya's party, tonight.
- Dude, we tagged her on Instagram, right?
- Yeah, we did.
The pressure to get good
grades is stressing us all out.
So,
we thought we'd kick back a bit.
Come. - Yeah, man.
Yeah, man. I'll be there.
See you.
Party tonight.
Yeah. Sure, dude.
Come on.
Hi! - Hey, hi.
I'm here for a Kerala massage,
that complimentary one.
Sure, sir. Your partner?
Partner?
Sir, this is a couple's massage,
one plus one.
Baby is sleeping. - Sure, sir.
Then the charges will
be Rs 1,800 plus taxes.
No,
it's complimentary. It's mentioned here.
No, sir. Basically, you pay for one,
and the other one is free.
So, if you want to go alone,
you have to pay
- Rs 1,800 plus taxes.
- Oh, no. That's cheating.
You should've mentioned that
you'd be charged if you opt for it alone.
Should I check you in if
your partner isn't here?
- No.
No, let it be.
You ruined my mood.
Come, Golu.
We'll have a blast in Bengaluru.
Yes, brother. Okay.
I'll call you in a bit. Okay.
Yo,
I've sent you the new data structures.
Review them and get back to me. Okay,
Sandy?
Sandy?
- Aren't you Sandy?
- Buddy, I'm Suparn.
Oh,
fuck! You look just like Sandy.
He used to work here. Oh,
right. New joinee, right?
7 months,
bro. You interviewed me.
Oh, okay. Cool
So, tomorrow, 1 pm, we meet again
and review the new codes, okay?
But, bro,
will you send the Zoom details,
or do we have to do that?
Bro, why Zoom, let's Ka-boom.
From now on,
I'll come to the office every day.
- So, we'll meet at the office.
- Okay.
Bye, buddy.
Bye, buddy.
- Are you Sandy?
- No, sir. I'm Shahrukh.
- I said, make it 4 pm, 6 pm, is it like
- Hey, guys.
Hi! - What's up?
Hi!
I'm such a huge fan.
Wow!
I remember buying that folk
art book that you had edited.
What was it called?
Folksy, right? - Folksy. Yes.
You haven't curated
any art book recently?
No, I did that as a hobby.
Now, I'm working at Proficient.
And my whole focus is there.
Fatty told us you recently
separated from your husband.
And that now you're
out on the hunt.
No, no. No hunting.
I just want to see how it goes.
Babe,
wasn't it supposed to start at 6:30 pm?
Really?
Enso is closing, guys?
Likely, in a month or so.
Come, come.
Yeah, let's go.
Hey, Kirit. - Hi.
- That's Vasu. Vasu, that's Kirit.
- Hi, Vasu.
Hi!
But why? Why are
you guys closing?
Som and I couldn't
give time to Enso.
And all the building projects that
are halted due to COVID have piled up.
And we couldn't
find a manager either.
So,
we won't be able to give it more time.
I guess that's why.
Oh, shit! - Yeah.
We love Enso. - I know.
But Enso was our
passion project too.
It is, but let's see.
Anyway, the session has started.
You guys go ahead. Have fun.
Thanks, buddy. - Bye.
Thanks.
The hot gay couple,
they're like art, babe.
We can only see, not touch.
So sad.
You're crazy. Let's go.
Smudge central.
Welcome all.
I will gently help
you move your bodies
to the sounds of Chandrashekhar.
Just be in the moment.
And I will channel
poetry from the universe.
Straight from the universe!
I wish
you could touch my skin.
Like the layers of the
fire that touch each other.
Flaming,
burning, burning.
I wish somebody would
keep their phones off.
Come on. Let's warm up.
Form a circle. Come on.
Come on.
Hmm, eye-fucking - What?
You and that flutey fuck?
Sparks, huh?
Are you mad?
He's so young.
He's so hot, man.
I don't know. - I know.
You go. Otherwise,
I'll kidnap him.
Go, go.
Yeah, go.
Okay. - All the best.
Hey!
Hey!
I'm Chandrashekhar. And you?
I
I'm Vasu.
Vasu.
Would you like to
hang out with me?
Hang?
Yeah, I can hang.
Let's hang.
I'll be done in ten minutes, so…
Sure.
Actually,
I too want to take a shower.
There was no water in
my shower this morning.
And nobody stores it either.
I don't know why I'm
telling you all of this.
Sorry.
Okay. See you.
Fuck him, babe. fuck him.
Shut up.
Akhil!
Fine, I'm coming. Stop.
I'm sorry,
uncle. I'm sorry, aunty.
Akhil, I was sleeping.
I went to bed at 4 am.
Buddy, think about fun deficit.
Alright. Like last time,
no bottoms up, no puking.
We'll just catch-up for a bit.
You meant, last week!
That's what I'm saying,
an entire week!
I guess you cannot have
one without the other, right?
Mental breakdowns
are a part of life.
True.
Somebody told me Ronak is here.
Ananya's brother.
Dude, he is in Neuford.
We can find out
what it's actually like.
Yeah, totally.
Hey,
you want to go get some drinks?
Right now?
Cool.
Ronak.
Hey! - Hi!
Are you guys having fun?
Yeah,
this is such an amazing party, right?
Yes.
It is.
So, how has Neuford been?
Is it as great as it looks?
Oh, dude,
it's pretty fucking great.
Yeah? - Honestly, yeah.
I think your boyfriend
is calling you.
He's not my boyfriend.
We're just casual.
Seriously!
Relationships are so hectic,
I tell you.
So, you guys must be prepping like crazy,
huh?
- Hmm.
- What about your grades?
- Nothing like you,
Mr Never-Below-Nine.
It is a hard scene though.
I have a few classmates
that are into some chemicals.
- Yeah!
I'm not still there yet.
But, hey,
who knows about the future, right?
Can I DM you, like for tips?
Sure, of course.
And if you make it at Neuford,
I'll be around. So, you know,
you can help me, I can help you.
Yeah.
Hey, baby. - Hey.
Hi! - Hi!
Alright. I'll see
you girls around.
Come.
Just
Why are you drinking
beer that's meant for kids?
Pradeep,
I'm fine with beer. I'm cool.
You are cool.
The whole city is fucking cool.
Am I right?
Excuse me. What's your name?
Rinzing. - Rinzin!
Rinzing. - Yes, Rinzing.
Tell me something.
Is he feeling sleepy?
He forced me to come.
I slept late last night,
at 4 am.
You slept at 4 am! Oh my!
Who was with you?
Where did you find her?
What's her Insta ID? Let
me check how she looks.
Pradeep,
I told you I'm not on Instagram.
Oh, God! - Akhil,
I had to complete
my sleep deficit today.
Ma'am, come here.
Fun, isn't he? PB? - 4 am!
Fuck you.
My life is ruined.
Life is meaningless
without love.
To top it all
To top it all,
if you can't even have sex
Akhil.
My wife is
having an affair.
What the fuck?
You mean, Juhi Bhabhi!
Really?
With whom?
With God.
She's with God all day.
I'm in a threesome with God.
Don't ever get married.
I had sex six times
before marriage.
And I was almost gonna do it
for the seventh time but couldn't.
And after my marriage,
the count is still the same.
Let's do something big.
Pradeep!
We've already
had 6 pints of beer.
Drinking two more will
be nothing short of "big".
I have 10 pints of
beer just like that.
And you are
talking about 6 pints.
He's talking about 6 pints!
Mushroom.
Where do we find
magic mushrooms?
You'll find everything here.
Ma'am.
Come here.
Oh, Pradeep!
Enjoy.
My cuz Pradeep
- wants magic mushrooms.
- Small quantity.
Do you know where we can get it?
Sir
Let's go.
Oh, no! - Come with me. Come on.
Oh, God!
Bengaluru is amazing.
Pradeep, please drive fast.
Ma'am,
there is a police barricade ahead.
What the fuck do you want?
Yes, I'm drunk. So?
I just want to let you know
that I'm 39 years old.
I don't know how old you are.
26? - 24.
24!
That's a huge age gap.
That means when I was 30,
you were 15.
When I was 15 and making
out behind the water tank,
you were born.
I don't care about these things.
Yes, you are cool. But I
You think a lot.
Feel it.
How does it feel?
Nice.
Let's take it to the next level.
Hold on. Sorry.
Give me a minute.
Hello.
Where?
What?
Okay. I'm coming
Sorry
I need to go.
Sorry.
Okay.
Excuse me, sir.
Sir,
Akhil Rao and Kavanya Khattar.
They are sitting there.
- Thank you, sir.
- Kay, I'll handle it.
Don't worry.
I'll handle it.
What's going on, guys?
I can explain.
Well - Are you drunk?
'Bengaluru is amazing.'
'Mushroom'
'How much? - Rs 5,000.'
'Rs 5,000! - It's okay.'
'Police. - What the fuck?'
'Come on. Take them in. - Sir.'
'Akhil! - Sir'
Let him speak. - Oh my God!
Oh, God! You're drunk too.
What's going on?
What's your problem?
Yeah, I'm drunk. Do you
have a problem with that too?
What's your age?
Full eighteen!
Listen.
- Vasu
- We are all at the police station!
So, what should I do?
Shall I take a photo and
upload it on Facebook?
Instagram.
Stop it, Kavanya.
No more parties for
you. You're grounded.
Come on,
Vasu. Stop being so tough on her.
You're grounded too.
Me?
I can't believe you guys.
Get your things. Let's go.
You said you'd handle it.
I'm handling it. I'll manage.
Hey,
let's go. What are you doing?
Come on.
Sorry, Vasu. Sorry.
Sorry.
Incense!
Where were you?
Joint!