History of the World: Part II (2023) s01e02 Episode Script

1
It's June 6th, 1944.
D-Day.
The Allied forces storm
the beaches of Normandy.
Boys, we're gonna be storming
Omaha Beach in a couple minutes.
Be steady.
It's time to find out
what you're all made of.
Oh God.
Oh. Just barfed in the
corner over here, sir!
Well, just try and keep
it out the boat, okay?
Private Tully, get a
grip on your nerves!
It's not nerves, sir.
I get seasick.
Well, just keep your eyes on the
horizon. That goes for everyone.
Don't tell me you're
seasick too, Johnson.
No, sir!
I think I just went a little too hard
on the paté at dinner last night, sir.
What? They didn't
serve paté in the mess.
Did you go AWOL last night?
Yeah.
Did any of you join him?
I did, sir! Ah.
I had a lot of oysters,
and now that I think about
it, they were pretty warm.
Y'all defied orders and
went to a restaurant?
Sir, we're in Europe,
and we just thought if it
was gonna be our last meal,
that it should be someplace special.
We found this adorable little pub.
Oh God!
Private Martinez, you go
to this little dinner, too?
No, sir, I wasn't invited,
sir! And to be honest,
it's kinda hurtful to
find out in this manner.
- Sorry, man.
- Then, why the hell are you yakking then?
I have a hair-trigger gag reflex, sir.
If I see somebody puke,
I'm puking right away.
Private Bryant, report!
- Share!
- I'm fine!
- That's a direct order!
- I don't wanna talk about it!
He's not fine, sir.
He's been this way since basic.
Always after meals,
if you catch my drift.
So what do I do here?
I-I don't know. Tell him
he looks good in any size?
Or maybe don't talk about
his body at all, sir.
Private Cooper, what is
your major malfunction?
Sorry, sir. I'm just
a straight-up coward.
I'm afraid of sharks.
Hair-trigger, sir.
Enough!
No more vomit!
Now, we are about to embark on
the biggest military campaign
in the history of the world part two!
And I need you to just
Captain, are you okay?
No.
- I just shit my dang pants.
- Oh, no.
Save it for the Nazis!
History of the World, Part II!
The Story of Jesus.
Mm. Mm.
Mm. Delicious.
Luke, there it is!
- Judas, what's goin' down?
- How you doin', man?
Man, I had to get me
something in my belly, man.
You know that last supper wasn't shit.
Didn't hit anything for me.
Yeah. More like a Last Snack, right?
Nothin' worse than goin'
somewhere for a meal,
and you gotta come the
fuck home and eat again.
It's like, what's the point?
I could've just stayed home.
- What's the fuckin' point?
- I know.
Jesus invites us over
for dinner, and then what?
It's like a bunch of small medi
plates? One lamb meatball as an entrée?
If you're gonna gimme one meatball,
it better be a big-ass meatball.
If it's not bigger than
my head, I don't want it.
- Look, I don't wanna complain.
- Can't hate on Jesus.
I can't hate on Jesus.
I love being a disciple.
But you go to one of these dinners,
there's 11 other guys there
who got plans that
they want you to attend.
- Did Peter corner you?
- Of course, he did.
"You coming to my one-man show?"
One-man fuckin' show, that's the worst!
With a one-man show,
you don't get the chance
to see other people,
other actors, and shit.
You sitting there like,
"This motherfucka again?"
- I know.
- This motherfucka again?
- I know.
- Ain't never leave!
So he's always gonna be
"this motherfucka again!"
I know. I feel gross after
that dinner. Do you know why?
- Why?
- All that feet washing.
Why is everybody washing
feet all the time?
Why is Jesus obsessed with washing feet?
- I don't like it.
- It's unsanitary!
- It's unsanitary. Thank you!
- That's what it is.
Thank you. I just don't like feet.
I don't wanna wash 'em.
I don't wanna look at 'em.
I don't like feet.
- Oh, man.
- You like feet?
- I make love to a fuckin' foot.
- Really?
Oh, man. Well, two feet.
- See, you're sitting in a yoga pose
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
you put both feet together,
so that you create this.
Oh, okay.
Put a little lubricant
in that motherfucka,
and break them feet off. Break 'em off.
Get the party started.
You break your way up.
What is this? Who knocks at this hour?
That's why we put
blood on the door frame!
So you could pass over us!
See? Pass over!
- Huh?
- Uh-oh. It's the Ro-Ro.
Roman soldiers?
What are they doing here at this hour?
Judas Iscariot?
- Nope, don't think he's, uh
- Right here.
The fuck are you doing, man?
Not gonna stand here and get profiled.
I'm gonna cut straight to the chase.
We've gotta arrest this Jesus character.
He is a danger to the community.
Whoa, whoa, h-hold the
fuck up, Mr. Rooster Helmet.
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
I don't know what the fuck
you talking about right now,
but Jesus is all about the peace.
Peace and love. He's
all about peace and love.
Judas, we know you
were at the Last Supper.
Everyone knows you're
the most weaselly apostle.
That feels antisemitic.
What we don't know is
what this Jesus looks like.
Now, you identify him for us,
and you will be richly compensated.
Richly compensated?
Uh-huh.
Hm
Eh? Mm-hmm?
Hm.
Eh?
Okay, well
if I were to do it, and
I'm not saying I would
- Hypothetically speaking, of course.
- Hypothetically speaking,
if I were to do it
I mean, what would be in it for me?
Thirty pieces of silver.
Thirty pieces of silver?
Mm
I mean, I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna do it.
Jesus is a good friend.
He's a good friend of ours.
- Right.
- But, if I were to do it,
how would I even identify him?
You're the weasel. You tell me.
Hey. Maybe slap him on the ass.
- Slap him on the ass?
- Yeah!
Why don't I just give him a
big fat kiss while I'm at it?
Oh! That could work, yeah.
- What?
- Yeah. You give him a kiss,
we swoop in Gimme your hand.
We swoop in and arrest him.
Soldiers, march!
Keep marching a hole in the left!
Keep marching a hole in the right
Know what you can do
with 30 pieces of silver?
What?
Buy one big-ass meatball.
- We would have a nice dinner, wouldn't we?
- Fuckin' right.
Shirley Chisholm.
In 1968, Shirley Chisholm
became the first Black woman
elected to the United States Congress,
serving Brooklyn, the
home of me, and Jay-Z.
Brooklyn represent, represent!
I don't know what that means.
Anyway, four years later,
she ran for president,
and this is that story.
With a laugh track!
From Barbados to
Brooklyn, then to DC ♪
She's the first Black congresswoman ♪
She's Shirley, it's
been a long, hard road ♪
But hope was never lost ♪
'Cause that girl Shirley's
unbought and unbossed ♪
Ooo, ooo, "Shirley!" ♪
Shirley is brought to you
by the actual presidential
candidate, Shirley Chisholm,
and filmed in front of
a live Black audience.
How's my favorite first
Black congresswoman?
She's terrible.
Nothing gets done in Congress,
except for me getting screwed.
And speaking of getting screwed,
how's my favorite dick?
Did you solve the case of
the missing circus elephant?
Heh, sure did. Turns out,
it was the evil Ringling
Brother, Ding-A-Ling.
I always thought of you as a clown.
I guess now, my eyes have
caught up with my brain.
Ha, ha!
Florynce Kennedy,
why do you insist on
coming through my window?
Because you won't gimme a key.
So, what were y'all talking about?
Oh, just how I'm fed
up with Congress is all.
You know, I wanna work on the problems
of my constituents in Brooklyn.
You know, healthcare, education,
tickets to Marvin Gaye.
As your chief advisor,
you got to take this to the tippity-top!
Harry Belafonte?
No. To the president.
You want me to call President Nixon?
Well, there are a few
things I'd like to call him,
but they wouldn't clear
standards and practices.
You know what? Maybe I will.
Hello, is this the White House?
This is Congresswoman Shirley Chisholm,
and I would like to speak
with President Nixon, please.
Oh hello, Mr. President.
I didn't realize that you
answered your own phone.
How very not paranoid of you, sir.
Yes. Uh-huh.
Tonight?
7:30?
My place?
Nothing too ethnic.
Yes! I can do that.
Thank you.
Guess who's coming to dinner?
Will you two
stop playing around and
help me get dinner ready?
Help! Help! Help!
Shirley will be right back
after these Black hair
product commercials.
Previously on The Civil War
No more alcohol until the war is over.
RT, come over here.
There's my big, strong boy.
You are ready to join me
on a top-secret mission.
I will follow you to
the gates of hell, sir.
It's worse than that, son.
We're going to West Virginia.
No!
West Virginia is so much
worse than I thought.
Good call on losing the uniforms, sir.
Yeah, I know. I'm a general.
This isn't my first secret mission.
What is the secret mission, by the way?
We'll go to that saloon over
there and have a quick drink.
- Just try to blend in.
- Yes, sir.
Howdy!
- Howdy!
- H Say it with a Southern accent!
- Howdy!
- Howdy!
Not Irish!
All right. And don't
futz with the settings,
please, thank you. Yeah.
Now listen, RT.
We gotta keep a low profile, okay?
These people don't like our kind.
Sagittarius?
- Yankees!
- Right.
Of course, you're a Sagittarius.
With Mercury in retrograde,
it all makes sense.
Just listen to me. Okay, be cool,
and if anything's out of order, just
split up, and I'll find you, okay?
- Yes, sir.
- Shit.
Oh! Jesus!
What was that?
- You said split up.
- Not literally!
- Howdy!
- Howdy.
Howdy to you.
Howdy, just here for a drink.
Hello, sir. I'd like one whiskey.
Sir? Please? Hello!
Okay, he looked me right in the eye.
Okay, sir. General.
I have a strategy.
- I think if we wanna properly blend in
- Yes.
that we should be able
to adopt new characters.
- Okay. Yeah.
- Okay? So,
I think I should be
Byron De La Étouffée,
- prosperous tobacco magnate.
- Okay.
You can be Mint Julep De La Étouffée,
my son.
Why would I be your son?
In what universe does that make sense?
I'm 20 years older than you.
- Just an idea.
- It's a bad idea.
- Okay.
- Okay, j-j-j-just sit here
- and watch my back.
- Yes, sir.
Come to papa.
- That's what I've been waiting for.
- Buck up.
What? What!? What are you
You are a psychopath, sir.
God, that is so weird. That's weird!
Oh, you think that's weird, huh?
You think that's weird?
Hoo, hoo, hoo! Yeah!
Hoo wee!
Mm, mm, mmm.
I think you're weird.
Who are you boys?
I am Byron De La Étouffée,
- and this is my s
- Friend!
Uh, we stopped in here to wet
our whistles and talk about
- how much we love cotton.
- Yes.
We love it.
The touch, the feel, it is
truly the fabric of our lives.
Where are you boys from?
Little town by yonder way called
Slaveburg.
Slaveburg?
I ain't never heard of no Slaveburg.
It's in Mississippi.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
- That checks out.
- That checks out.
- We been there, we been there.
Well, you two rebels,
you must be very familiar with
the game we play around here.
A game that, uh, well
It always ends up with somebody getting
carried out those doors.
"Never Have I Ever."
Oh hello, daddy.
- Hey! First rule!
- Ow!
No drinking till we start.
Okay.
Second rule!
You only drink if you've done the thing
that the person whose turn
it is said they've never done.
That's right.
Till the man whose turn
it is takes a drink.
Well then, I will go
first, and I wanna say
- Ow!
- No, no, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn!
They only drink if no one's done
the thing they said they'd never did.
I thought if a person said
they've never did the thing,
they were lying, and
therefore must drink.
I actually think Glenn is correct
No, shut the fuck up, De La Étouffée!
How many times we gon' go through this?
Well, maybe you're bad at explaining it.
Oh, let me get this straight,
mister. You're trying to say
I don't know the rules
of "Never Have I Ever"?
Maybe I am. What of it?
This the same reason why
you're not on my charades team.
Maybe no one understands
how to play the game
'cause they can't understand
what the fuck you're saying!
Okay, enough of this shit.
How about this? Whiskey for everybody!
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What in blue blazes
you doin' with a dirty Union greenback?
Uh
Well, I am a proud rebel
who killed a Union soldier
and took his money.
Then, why's your face on it?
That could be anybody. All white
men with beards look alike, huh?
What are you, racist?
Yeah. That's pretty much our whole deal.
We hate everything.
People who turn classic
movies into TV shows.
Boat owners.
- Sound effects.
- Redheads.
- Deadheads!
- For-profit universities.
Novelty license plates.
Picking people up from the airport!
But most of all
All right.
Yankees.
Fuck Jeter!
And you know what? Fuck Tom
Brady and his fuckin' Tampa Bay
fuckin' wherever he is now.
Get that fuckin' thing
outta here! What are you
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
We gotta finish the scene, dude.
Oh, you wanna finish the scene?
Oh, I'm sorry, Your Highness.
- Hollyweird!
- Just don't engage. Don't engage.
Why don't you get LeBron to
finish it? Oh! He's injured!
- Yankees.
- Get a real basketball player
like Larry fuckin' Bird.
The Mongolian Empire.
In 1270, Marco Polo of Venice
- travels the Silk Road
- Marco Polo!
to meet the most
feared emperor in the world,
the great Kublai Khan.
Get down.
Go!
On my knee Good. Let's do this.
If it goes well,
trade between the East and
the West will finally open.
And if not, Polo could be "no-mo."
You may rise.
Oh, thank heavens. This was
a little bit humiliating.
What an honor to be here. Thank you.
I bring you gifts as a
gesture of our friendship.
Swag!
We call this shit silk.
This is nice!
What do you call what I'm feeling?
What's the word for this?
- Silky.
- Oh, yes!
You know what? If you
put that right here,
on, like, a nice suit?
You'd never wait for a
table again in your life.
All right, Kublai's turn!
Okay, so what do you have for me?
Okay.
So keep in mind, I've been on the
road for four and a half years,
so there's a little bit
of wear and tear, right?
Okay, I got something great,
you're gonna freak out.
Put your hand out.
I call this "shaky red." Shaky red, sir.
What is shaky red?
Hot peppers! That have been
crushed. I'd be a little careful.
There's a little bit
of sand in there. The
The bottle broke in the desert.
What do you honestly think?
This is more of a pitch stage of the
Okay, well do you have anything else?
To be frank, that was kinda shitty.
For you? Yes. I have a goat
that was blessed by the Pope himself!
- Oh, what? The Pope?
- Yeah!
Oh man, I heard all about that guy.
The Pope Goat. Would love to
meet this goat, where is it?
Shit.
It's right here!
We had to eat the actual
goat a year and a half ago
because we were starving to death,
of course.
- That's still blessed by
- So,
they tell me you have, like,
these scrolls of knowledge?
I had to burn them,
obviously, to cook the goat,
so it was a catch-22.
So, are you saying you brought nothing
- for the Great Khan?
- You know what I do have for you?
- It's a game.
- What is this game?
It's "Marco Polo."
And the way that you play is
somebody closes their eyes,
and th-they're looking
for the other guy,
and th-they're running
around, they say "Marco!"
And the other guy says "Polo!"
It's a load of fun!
It's better in a pool.
You know what? Fuck this!
All you brought me was some spicy sand
and a dumbass game
that you just made up?
Please. It has been a crazy journey.
There've been a lot
of bumps on the road.
Listen, Koobs, Koobs, hear me out.
- Take him!
- Koobs, Koobs!
- Stop calling me Koobs!
- No, no, no.
Please don't do this. No!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, please!
Burn this motherfucker alive!
No, no, please don't burn me
alive! Don't burn me alive!
- I wanna hear his guts popping!
- I'll do anything! No, no, no!
I'll suck my own dick!
Please.
We pranked you!
You got Khan'd, bro!
- What do you mean it's a prank?
- It's a prank!
We've been trying to think
for the last four years
of some way to get you, and we got you!
Check it out, check it out.
We got hidden charcoal artists
everywhere. Look, we got one over here.
- Ah?
- Wonderful.
And look, we got one over here!
He's got your depiction here, too!
I was genuinely terrified for my life.
I'll suck my own dick!
Shirley Chisholm.
Previously on Shirley
Oh hello, Mr. President.
Guess who's coming to dinner?
Mr. Nixon,
what an immaculate honor
to have you into my home.
I invited my most
charismatic and only friend,
Secretary of State Henry Kissinger.
I brought a bundt cake.
Ooo, ooo, Shirley! ♪
- Uh, Mother, will you be joining us?
- Uh, let's see.
Have dinner with two warmongering hogs,
or drink my martini by myself?
That woman is enchanting.
The reason I asked you
here, Mr. President,
is because I feel like I'm not
getting anything done in Congress.
Why, yes, Shirley. You see, ahem,
Congress has no power.
The only person who
can get anything done
is the President of the United States.
The Commander-in-Chief.
The King of the Free World.
The Imperator of the Galaxy.
Easy, Dick, don't let
the cat out of the bag.
So you're saying that the
only way I can get stuff done
is if I'm president?
That's right, Shirley.
But, let's face it.
That's not happening anytime soon.
I mean, you're Black,
Shirley, and a woman.
Well, Mr. Nixon, you've inspired me.
Well, great.
To run for president!
Well, Henry, it finally happened,
I never thought it would.
A lady made me laugh.
Unlike you, I am no joke.
I am unbought and unbossed!
Well!
Miss Chisholm, we'll just see. Good day.
Now, Henry, let's return
to the White House.
Your mother reminds me of a woman
I met in Transylvania in 1403.
Please give her my number.
666-6666.
So, looks like I'm
running for president.
Shirley,
I wish you would've
talked to me about this.
That's a big decision.
Conrad, it's a TV show.
We have to move the story along
at a faster pace than real life.
Hm.
Like a workout montage?
Ooo, ooo, Shirley! ♪
Jesus Christ.
Meanwhile, back in Jerusalem
- Hey, barkeep? Two hot wines, please.
- Coming right up, boss.
So? What did we think about the show?
Worst shit I have ever seen in my life.
Right? Did you notice when he
was in the "hospital scene,"
- he's in the bed?
- Yeah.
He fell asleep, right?
Was that acting or was he
really fuckin' sleeping?
I don't know, but it's contagious
- 'cause then I fall asleep.
- You gotta have intermission.
People gotta get up
and stretch their legs
a-and go out and stand in
front of the fuckin' theater
a-and smoke a hookah
or some shit like that.
Peter thinks it's good. He
thinks this show is good.
He thinks he's gonna tape
this for a Netfish special!
If this was on Netfish, I
would cancel my subscription.
Fuck yeah. Hey, I just can't believe
that you're gonna betray Jesus tonight.
What? I'm not gonna betray
Jesus. What are you talking about?
Fuck me, what am I talking
about? You took the money!
I had to take the money. Peter
made us pay for this one-man show.
We're his friends. We should be comped.
And that is what the
fuck you call a betrayal!
- Betrayal?
- What?
Betrayal? Who are you gonna betray?
No, what are you guys talking about?
- Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
- Who's getting betrayed?
No, no, no, there's
no betrayal happening.
- It's fine.
- Okay. So, what'd you think of the play?
You were up there trying really hard.
And the details about your family.
H-how your dad was a was a Galilean,
a-and your mom was a Moabite?
A-and the fact that you had therapy?
- Fucked me up.
- Thank you, man.
- You see me. You see me.
- I saw you.
- What'd you think, Judas?
- I think
I didn't like to have to pay for
tickets to my friend's one-man show.
Well, I'm sorry I didn't get
comps. What am I, a money lender?
So, what'd you think of the show?
Eh Not for me.
- Well, Jesus loved it.
- Please.
Jesus loves everything.
The guy can't stop saying,
"Oh, I love this." He's
just looking for followers.
Look at Jesus over there. Look at him.
Absolutely woofing down
that bacon cheeseburger.
- Oh, it looks so good.
- Bacon cheeseburger?
Hold on, that's not kosher.
Wait, none of the food here is kosher.
Oh please, let him sin.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold the fuckin' phones.
Wait a minute, I just ate a
bacon-wrapped scallop and baby back ribs.
You mean to tell me none
of this shit is kosher?
You know what, I'm fuckin' livid!
As a Jew, I'm livid!
You know what? I'm gonna plotz!
I can understand why you're pissed
because something is going
on with this Jesus guy.
He's trying to phase out his Judaism.
- Really?
- Yeah!
Yeah, that fool's up to somethin'.
Yeah, I bet he's gonna
grow back his foreskin, too.
What? You can grow back your foreskin?
Fuck yeah, you can do
that. My cousin did that.
He put a clothespin on
the tip of that shit.
Oh, that's impossible.
No, you gotta tie a
string onto the thing,
and then and then, you
got a weight down there,
and the weight is gonna
pull the string off,
and you have to sleep standing up.
- Uh-huh.
- Not for me, baby. Not for me.
- Oh, really? Not for you?
- Nope.
- Lotta detail for an innocent man.
- Wait, he's going to the bathroom.
Do I do a foreskin check?
- Should I go and get cockfirmation?
- Yeah. Oh yeah.
- Go in there and peep that pecker.
- And find out
- how he avoids peeing on the weight.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I've heard that it happens
- Oh, you've heard that?
- No, I've read it in some scrolls! Yes!
- Oh, you've read it in some scrolls?
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
There he is! JC!
Judas, hey. Hey, I could swear to my dad
- I locked that door.
- Oh, yeah?
So, what'd you think
of Peter's one-man show?
Yeah, I liked it, yeah.
I mean, what's not to like?
I got free tickets, right?
- Free ticket? Free.
- Yeah.
Comped.
Comped.
What does "comped" stand for?
- Complimentary.
- Complimentary!
I wish I could be more complimentary
of Peter's one-man show.
Judas. Judge not, lest you be judged.
Not bad. You just come up with that?
Eh Thanks.
Whoa! Hey! Hot piss! Judas,
you're pissing on my feet!
- What? No! What? No!
- Yes! Yes!
- I was just checking!
- Checking what?
Just to get cockfirmation!
Judas, you pissed on my feet!
I gotta go back to the party.
No, you don't What You
- Judas.
- Ah, ah, ah!
I know you hear me.
Oh, you just gonna let the blower
He's gonna blow your
hands for 30 seconds.
You're just not gonna look at me?
I know you hear me! I am in your head!
Sorry, I only have big
pieces of silver. Ah.
- Judas!
- Okay, so,
what did you think of my accents?
You didn't take me anywhere. You
gotta take someone somewhere
Gotta go, gotta go,
gotta go, gotta go
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Fuck
you mean we gotta go?
Judas! What the fuck?
You peed on my son's feet?
Mother Mary, may I explain?
No, you may not!
I did not not have sex
and give birth in a dirty-ass manger
for you to urinate on the Son of God!
She thinks her son's God? The
mother's definitely Jewish.
Okay!
I want you to get on your knees
and wash his feet.
- Ooh.
- I don't know.
You raggedy bitch.
You want me to wash the
pee-pee off of his feet?
- Yes.
- That's what you would like?
I just wanna confirm, so
we're on the same page here.
- Yes!
- Luke, what do you think?
If someone pissed on
my fuckin ' sandals,
they wipin' that shit off.
Okay, well, that's a betrayal.
I mean, the guy lays hands on lepers,
and you're worried about a
little pee-pee on his feet?
You're really You're
gonna make me do this?
Do it already! Enough with the talking!
It's just feet, they're gross.
Do you guys like
Anybody here like feet?
Whatever the opposite of a
foot fetish is what I have!
Hey, Jesus
- I've sinned I'm a sinner
- Mm-hmm.
I'm repenting
I don't wanna wash your feet
Rise, my son.
- What?
- I forgive you.
- Uh-uh!
- It's okay, Mama. It's okay.
Take back your dirty fuckin' rag.
This is my guy!
Jesus!
This guy, he's not even a guy!
This guy's a God! Come here!
The kiss is a signal!
- That's Jesus! Get him!
- What?
Wait, what? No!
- You betrayed me? Mom! Mom!
- No!
- Oh!
- Tell my story!
Oh, it was Jesus you were gonna betray!
No, this wasn't a betrayal kiss!
No! This was a thank you
kiss, not a betrayal kiss!
Luke! Luke!
You're in trouble!
No! Look at all these feet!
Judas Iscariot, forever unclean!
This is too much!
- Who is this?
- It's your mama.
If you are my mother,
what is your last name?
- Bell.
- It's my mother. That confirms it.
Tomorrow night, the
landmark event continues.
What are we gonna do about Lenin?
I serve sandwiches to Vladimir
Lenin and all of his comrades.
I am losing my damn mind.
Jesus Christ!
- I've done a really interesting drawing.
- Don't they look like penises?
- Whoa, someone wants to sleep with their father.
- What?