Holly Hobbie (2018) s01e02 Episode Script

1
- Two peas in a pod.
Cut from the same cloth.
Birds of a feather.
I could go on.
All I mean to say is,
what makes your best friend
your best friend
is all the things
you do together, right?
But if your BFF gets a new thing
that isn't your thing,
are you still two peas in a pod?
Or two unrelated vegetables
in an unappetizing salad?
- Thank you all so much
for coming out
on this glorious day.
- If aliens arrive
in Collinsville, they're
going to find a town
more obsessed with giant produce
than renewable energy.
- Yeah, that would be a real
pickle, wouldn't it?
- I hope you're
all excited
about our annual pickle
festival, where Oscar the
Cucumber will be measured
and Collinsville will finally
make it into the record books.
- Mayor Flaherty sure is
relishing this opportunity.
- Please stop.
- But Amy, this is a really
big dill!
(laughing)
- Holly! Holly!
We're famous!
"The Calico's new Open Mic Night
breathes life into café."
- And raises enough money
to keep it open.
- For now.
- Grandma, this is great!
- What would you say
to you and I singing a duet
at the next Open Mic?
- I've actually been writing
something that could work.
- Perfect! Come by after school
and we can start practicing?
- Wild horses couldn't
drag me away.
- Oh, shoot! I gotta go get
the cookies out of the oven.
See you later, sweetheart!
- Hey, I'm gonna show you
my new song
and I need you to be honest with
me. I'm stuck on the pre-chorus.
- I actually can't hang tonight.
I have cheerleading tryouts.
- Ha, ha, ha!
Wait actually?
But you're not a cheerleader.
Cheerleaders are vapid
and pretty and popular and--
- So I'm not pretty or popular?
- Obviously I think you're
a raven-haired goddess.
- Anyway, I've already been
to the first round
and it wasn't like that.
- You already tried out?!
Why didn't you tell me?
- The reaction you're currently
having might have something
to do with it.
Anyway, Piper
and I liked it.
- You tried out with Piper?
(sighing)
I mean,
yeah, that's great.
- I'll still be able
to help you with the Open Mic.
I'll set up the evite
at home tonight, OK?
(cell phone buzzing)
Oh!
Gotta run! Piper and I
have to practice.
- Let it serve as a reminder:
nothing is forever.
Let one thing be a constant
in our lives now and forever:
COLLINSVILLE!
(cheers and applause)
Thank you. Thank you so much.
- ♪♪♪You and me run
to a different beat ♪♪
♪We are brave, lead the way,
lead the way ♪♪
♪Be the you inside and watch
the world take flight ♪♪
♪We are brave, lead the way,
lead the way ♪♪
♪Be the change ♪♪
♪Be the change ♪♪
♪Gotta be the change ♪♪♪♪
- What's a better rhyme
for "tonight"?
"Burning bright"
or "morning light?"
- How about "flea bite?"
(chuckling)
- Guys, settle. Lyla's
gonna be here soon.
- (both): Ooh, Lyla!
- Thanks for waiting, babe.
- Yah, thanks for waiting, babe.
- Mmm. Butter tarts.
- These are for the cheer squad
bake sale. Buy one after school.
- I can't. I told Chase and
Warren I'd hang out with them.
- So you can go take your
"missionimpossibull selfies?"
- The dumb viral challenge where
people take pics with the bull?
- I think you mean the hilarious
viral challenge!
- You're gonna do it 'cause your
idiot teammates are doing it?
- You're totally ride-or-die
with your cheerleading friends.
- That's loyalty to my girls.
You're following the herd.
- Potato potah-to.
- Wait, but you have friends
who aren't cheerleaders, right?
- No. No, not really.
Basically everyone who matters
to me is a cheerleader
or the star of a football team.
- Barf, guys.
(school bell ringing)
- I swear, Lyla would climb
inside Robbie's mouth
if she could.
- Besides being physically
impossible, that sounds
very unpleasant.
- It is my most sincere and
solemn vow to you, Amy Abbasi,
that I will never get
that mushy over a boy.
- Mind if I sit with you guys?
- Of course not.
There's lots of room.
- The only other seat is
with Tyler Flaherty.
I heard he burned down a barn
then disappeared for a year.
Where did he go?
- Ask Holly. She is his wife.
- Ex-wife.
We got married in first grade,
but I divorced him a day later
after he told everyone
I peed my pants.
- I heard he was in juvie.
- I can hear you guys,
just so you know. And you
totally did pee your pants.
- And that's a secret that
should've been protected
by the sanctity of marriage!
(laughing)
- Welcome back, everyone!
Sorry to break up the party,
but it's two students to a desk.
Holly, could you join
Mr. Flaherty, please?
- But I was here first--
- Holly!
No arguments. I promise you'll
have lots of petty injustices
to rail against this year.
- Do you think they're going
to make us do herkies?
- You know, if you rotate your
ankle an extra 5 to 10 degrees,
you get at least an extra
two inches of height.
- Amy!
You're a genius!
- Feels crappy
to get ditched, huh?
- That's not what's happening.
- You know, you could always
just become a cheerleader.
- And you could just
- Shut up? Disappear?
Hug a cactus?
- I stand by our decision
to separate.
How was that one? Better?
- Not at all.
What? Mom and Dad always say
honesty is the best policy.
- No, it was totally better.
Just add this next part and
you're golden. Watch.
(music stops)
- Why haven't you
answered my texts?
I thought you were gonna
come over to The Calico
and practice after school.
- OK, I meant to text you,
but I decided to try out
for cheerleading.
I didn't think you'd mind.
- Cheerleading? That's the most
ridiculous thing I've ever heard
and I've been to a lot of
experimental jazz concerts.
- Uh-oh.
- What's wrong
with cheerleading?
- Cheerleading's not for girls
like you, Holly. It's
for girls like--
I just never thought
you would be interested
in being decoration for male
athletic accomplishment.
- The team has won
a million championships!
I wanna be part
of something great.
- She also wants to make sure
Amy doesn't ditch her for Piper,
leaving her alone forever.
- That's not true!
Cheerleaders are loyal
and totally ride-or-die,
right, Lyla?!
- I'm gonna stay
out of this one.
- Well, if it's really how you
feel, that's all right, I'll
just sing my duet with Heather.
You know Jolene,
right, Heather?
- Thanks a lot.
- Do you mind teaching me
that, um, flippy thing?
- It's really difficult,
but I'll teach you.
- OK.
- Surprised Lyla let you
out for the night.
- Gimme a break.
- Dude, you were
MIA all summer.
- Did you hear that?
Is someone coming?
- Hurry up, bro!
- Alright.
Let's do this.
I'm just gonna
OK!
- Alright, alright.
(bull grunting)
- Watch out, watch out!
- Let's go.
- Go on, I made him all
nice and mad for you.
- Hurry up. We've gotta leave
before someone sees us.
(loud grunt)
- Hello?
- Let's go, let's go, let's go!
- Who's out there?
♪♪♪♪♪♪
- So that was the routine we did
for state finals last year.
When I first started, I could
barely do that last move, but
after six months of practicing,
I got it.
- Six months?
She's joking, right?
- Nope. The team practices
five days a week,
all through the year.
- Everyone, let's break
into groups of three
and try that pyramid.
- C'mon. We got this.
- Right.
- Think about how much fun
the two of us are gonna have
if we make the team!
(giggling)
♪♪♪♪♪♪
- As long as you and Holly
maintain a stable base,
we're good. Right, Holly?
- Yeah.
Got it.
- Oh!
- What was that?
- I'm sorry.
I have weak knees.
- Great work,
everyone!
We'll be making
our decisions soon!
- See you later!
Fingers crossed!
- You sabotaged us on purpose.
- I'm trying to save you! Look,
if you wanna get involved,
why not join the Marine Biology
Club? We can help save otters!
- There is no Marine Biology
Club, Holly. I want to cheer!
- Why? So that you can become
a professional cheerleader
and marry a football player
with a bunch of concussions who
will divorce you and leave you
in a McMansion with
a bunch of kids?
- Yes.
That is exactly what I'm aiming
for by joining our middle school
cheer team.
- We used to laugh
at people like them, Amy!
What happened to you?
Right, you met Piper.
- If you think it's so stupid,
why did you try out?
I didn't ask you to.
- You don't want me
to cheer with you?
- No. I don't.
Where are you going? My dad's
driving you home today.
- I'll walk.
- I mean, green fields and fresh
air Wisconsin is just
so predictable. We should go
to Chicago this summer.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you ignoring me so you can
look at pictures of that bull?
- Come on, don't you think
they're at least a little funny?
- No?
I'm just glad you were smart
enough not to take one
of those dumb pics.
- I mean, I did try to get one.
- ROBBIE!
- But the bull tried to kill me,
so I never ended up getting
the pic. Look how many likes
they're getting!
I got the near-death experience
but none of the cred!
I bet if I posted the exact same
picture as Warren I'd get
ten times more likes.
- Well, maybe you should put
your money where your mouth is,
big shot.
- Maybe I will.
- Fine, but I'm coming with you.
- Seriously?
- Yeah! If my boyfriend's
gonna get
a bull selfie, it's gonna be the
best one this town's ever seen!
- You're the best.
- I know.
- ♪♪♪Back and forth
inside my mind ♪♪
♪Like an old porch swing
goes side to side ♪♪
♪My head don't know ♪♪
- ♪Where to go ♪♪♪♪
- Crap. That's really good.
- Are you sad you didn't make
the cheerleading team?
I saw you trying out,
and judging by what I saw,
I assumed you didn't make it.
- Wow, that's real nice, thanks.
I don't know if I made it,
but I really don't care.
I don't want anyone to make
the team. I don't even want
there to be a team.
- There is a way
of making that happen.
Sabotage.
- What happened to you?
You disappear for a year
and come back some kind
of supervillain?!
Also, I already tried that
and it didn't work.
- Oh! OK, so who's
the supervillain now?
So you heard rumors
about where I was?
- Tons. All I know for sure
is that your family's barn
burned down and then
you literally disappeared.
- OK, here's
what happened.
Last year, I was
on death's door,
in a hospital,
recovering from a nearly
fatal heart condition.
- Fine.
Don't tell me, Beans.
- OK, don't call me that.
- What, so you don't eat only
green beans for lunch anymore?
- No, do you still
pee your pants?
- That was one time!
- Still not a great look
for a cheerleader.
- I don't wanna be
a cheerleader.
I just don't want
Amy to ditch me.
- Life's too short for that.
You gotta find your own thing.
- And just lose Amy?
- Yeah, I mean, people
grow apart, lose touch.
It sucks, but it happens.
And that's OK.
- Your pep talks
are terrible.
- Well, they can't be worse
than your handstand.
So where are you
going, anyway?
- The Calico if I don't die
of exposure first.
- Well, do you
want a lift?
- Yeah, sure.
- Hold on tight.
- Oh! If you kill me, Tyler
Flaherty, I'll kill you.
- Throw on a filter!
Give that bull a flower crown!
- Hey, Walter.
I'm just gonna hop on for a
second and snap a quick pic, OK?
- Wait, what are you doing?!
- I need to take it
to the next level.
- I don't think
that's a good idea--
(grunting and screaming)
Robbie, get out fast!
Get out!
- Go, go!
- Come on, let's go!
- Lyla, watch out! The bull!
- Walter, come back!
Robbie, the bull is loose!
- Why do so many people care
about a large cucumber?
- People get excited
about big things.
Don't they, Beans?
- I asked you to stop
calling me that.
- Everyone's gotta have
a thing, right?
- Yeah,
except this town is terrible and
it's gonna take a lot more than
a giant cucumber to fix that.
- Come to the Open Mic.
It's something in this town
that isn't terrible.
Don't get too excited!
Thanks for not killing me!
- There you are.
Good-looking ride
you've got there.
(chuckling)
- Can we talk?
- Me first.
I'm stubborn, so apologies
don't come easy, so just listen.
- Apology? But I'm the one
who should be--
- Let me finish!
I'm sorry I was so negative
about cheerleading.
The truth is, I was a
cheerleader in high school.
- WHAT?!
- There weren't many options for
girls at the time. Not like now!
You can play soccer, or join the
swim team, or the robotics club!
I just wished I hadn't
followed the crowd.
That I had spent the time
doing something else.
But everybody needs a thing,
Holly, and if this is yours,
then I support you.
I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't
have blown you off.
Cheerleading is not my thing,
the Open Mic is.
And I can't wait to sing
a duet with you.
- Oh, thank goodness.
Heather was trying
to get me to beatbox.
(laughing)
- Well, I was hoping
we could do my song!
I'm not finished.
I'm stuck on the last line.
- Ohh! Well, you better
get to it, then.
- Actually, I have to go,
but I'll be back in like
half an hour.
I'm kind of on
an apology tour right now,
and then I'll be back.
As long as I don't wrong
someone else on the way.
(sobbing)
- Amy's not riding.
Sorry. I try not
to cry in public,
but not making the cheerleading
team just got to me.
- You didn't make the team?
- Uh, no.
Is that why you're here too?
Because Amy made the team
and you didn't?
- Oh, um, no. It's not.
Although I can't say
I'm totally shocked.
- I was really hoping cheering
would be my in in this town.
I've only been here a few months
and everyone's known each other
since forever.
I mean, you and Amy have been
besties since you were,
what, three years old?
- Two, actually.
- Just so you know,
I don't want to come
between you two.
I was hoping we'd all
make the team
so we could kick butt together.
- I'm sorry.
I hope my terrible
pyramid performance
didn't ruin things for you, too.
- I doubt it.
Without cheering, I'm
just another pretty girl
with amazing style that all the
boys are in love with. I mean,
at least I could have been born
with something that made me
interesting, like freckles
or a lazy eye. But instead I'm
like the second lead of the
eighth Bring It On movie
and you watch it and you're like
"what's that girl's name again?"
So then you look it up online
and you still can't figure it
out even though you're literally
looking at my picture,
because I'm just that generic.
So if I'm not a cheerleader,
what am I? I guess I could just
lean into being a standard issue
mean girl but that seems
like a lot of work.
(laughing)
I'm glad my misery
is so amusing.
- No, I'm not laughing
at your misery! I'm laughing
because you're hilarious.
Do you remember everything
you just said?
- More or less. Why?
- Because you're gonna say it
all again on stage.
Two minutes.
What do you have to lose?
- I have to go pick an outfit!
And practice. But mostly
pick an outfit!
- Where is she going?
- To practice her comedy
routine.
I know, I was
surprised too.
I'm sorry, Amy. For being
so judgey about cheerleading.
- You don't have to
understand why I like it,
but it would be nice
if you supported me.
- So all that stuff you said
at tryouts was true?
- For as long as
we've been friends,
you've been the one on stage and
I've cheered from the audience.
I want a chance
to shine, too.
Thanks, Sean.
Holly, I love you
and I always will,
but we've always done
everything together,
and I need my thing.
Does that make sense?
- Yeah, it does.
You need to beat to the beat
of your own drum.
Oh my gosh, that's it!
That's the line!
♪♪♪♪♪♪
♪♪♪Back and forth
inside my mind ♪♪
♪Like an old porch swing
goes side to side ♪♪
♪My head don't know ♪♪
♪Where to go ♪♪
♪I'm trying to find
where I belong ♪♪
♪I feel it lies inside a song ♪♪
♪'Cause my heart knows ♪♪
♪Where to go ♪♪
♪Like a melody ♪♪
♪We all sing ♪♪
♪You can say, you can say
what you want to ♪♪
♪You can do, you can do
what you really love ♪♪
♪To the beat, to the beat
of your own drum ♪♪
♪You can feel, you can feel
how you want to ♪♪
♪You can walk to the rhythm
that lights you up ♪♪
♪To the beat, to the beat
of your own drum ♪♪
♪You can say, you can say
what you want to ♪♪
♪You can do, you can do
what you truly love ♪♪
♪To the beat, to the beat
of your own drum ♪♪
♪You can say, you can say
what you want to ♪♪
♪You can do, you can do
what you really love ♪♪
♪To the beat, to the beat
of your own drum ♪♪
♪You can feel, you can feel
how you want to ♪♪
♪You can walk to the rhythm
that lights you up ♪♪
♪To the beat, to the beat
of your own drum ♪♪♪♪
- Thank you, Calico!
(cheers and applause)
- Piper, that was incredible.
- I guess you found my thing,
Holly. Who knew it would be
stand-up?
- I'd call you more
of a humorist,
blending wry observations
with personal stories, told
in a confessional style.
- Maybe your thing is finding
other people's things.
- I guess that's what
an Open Mic is.
- And my thing
is cheerleading?
(laughing)
- And space. And science.
And math. Yeah, your thing
is a lot of things.
- And it looks like someone's
thing is petty vandalism.
- Oh, my gosh. Who destroyed
the cucumber?
- And for the record,
I don't think vandalism
should be anyone's thing.
Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.