Hope Street (2020) s01e02 Episode Script

1
SIRENS WAIL
RADIO CHATTER
TYRES SCREECH
Round the back.
She's even fitter when
she's giving orders.
It's woeful, that's what it is.
You're drooling now
like a randy Alsatian.
Agh! Uh!
Ah! Get off me!
Get off!
Right. That's right, let's go.
Was that your dad
who just did a runner?
I'd have something to
say about that.
If you knew him, you wouldn't.
Yeah? well, I wish I
didn't know either of you.
Let's get him up.
I am arresting you on suspicion
of burglary.
You do not have to say anything,
but it may harm your defence if
you do not mention something you
later rely on in court.
Anything you do say may be
given in evidence.
Liam and Seamus Dempsey.
Looks like the wee family business
has gone bust, eh?
Let's get them down the station.
We caught you bang on the job.
Your da's going away
for a lot longer this time.
18 burglaries,
two attempted break-ins.
But it's not too late
to save yourself.
Do something better with your life.
We need to recover those
stolen goods.
If you help us, we'll make the
Public Prosecution Service aware.
You see, this is not
your first offence,
so it's not as easy to
get you a break.
Not unless you give us
something first.
Fine!
I'll give you something.
And it's bigger than
what you've asked for.
We did an old farmhouse
about a week ago,
and I found a woman.
Dead.
Just slumped over the sofa,
like, in a pink cardigan.
It's been melting my head.
There's been no report of
a burglary on any farmhouse
here in Port Devine.
Well, there wouldn't be,
would there?
Cos whoever lives there
has just murdered someone.
We've got a murder, then?
No. The farm he's on about is
Gerard and Brenda Smiths'.
Pensioners. Oh, a sweet wee couple.
They're always wearing matching
anoraks and wellies.
Natural causes?
No, if someone had passed away,
we'd know about it.
So why would Seamus say it?
Him? Sure, he couldn't lie
straight in bed.
The Dempseys are well known
both sides of the border
for all the wrong reasons.
They'd cut your throat
and you wouldn't know about it
until you nodded your head.
What if they killed this couple?
Botched burglary?
Now Seamus is trying to cover
their backs.
Do you fancy heading up
to the farmhouse?
Has she said anything else?
Huh? About the ex boyfriend.
The guy she's running away from,
allegedly.
Look, why would she lie?
Why indeed?
Look at this place.
When they suggested
Northern Ireland
What, this wasn't what
you'd seen on the telly?
It's so pretty.
Oh! Whoa!
FINN LAUGHS
Hello!
Hello?
Police. Anybody home?
LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS
Power must be off.
Well, there's your entry point.
Seamus said he saw a woman on
the sofa as soon as he came in.
Yeah, what sofa?
The one that used to be there.
What are you doing in my house?
Gerard Smith?
We've met a few times before.
I'm Inspector O'Hare, this is
Detective Constable Hussain.
You're Concepta's kid?
I am.
You'd best sit down, then.
What do you want?
Well, we were just passing,
and, unfortunately,
there's been a series
of burglaries in the area.
We wanted to make sure you were OK.
Ask if you'd seen or heard anything?
Not a murmur.
And do you live here alone, or?
Well, no, you're married, right?
I've been with my Brenda 52 years.
Is Brenda home now?
I'm afraid not.
She gone somewhere nice?
Very nice.
She said so herself this morning.
Visiting her niece
in the south of France.
Ah.
Lucky for some.
You didn't fancy it?
And who'd run this place?
Well, listen,
you're a very busy man,
so we won't take up
any more of your time.
So, perhaps we could give
your wife a call?
Why?
To ask if she's seen anything.
You know, the burglars.
I'll need to take her number,
if you don't mind.
What happened over here?
Ah, now, that was, uhBrenda.
She was banging and yelling
at me for my tea.
Uh, they're old windows.
You've been re-arranging
the furniture?
Uh, getting the
sofa re-upholstered.
A little surprise for
when she gets home.
Thanks, Gerard.
Voicemail again.
Brenda?
You know, it doesn't mean
she's dead.
This could be anyone's number.
Need to check who
it's registered to.
Gerard Smith said
there was no robbery.
So there's no body?
No wife either.
Looks like your man, Seamus,
was having you on.
Or Gerard's got rid.
You wouldn't leave a corpse
just sitting there
once someone's clocked it.
Oh, yeah, the robbers
he DIDN'T report?
Obviously.
Listen, I've got to shoot out.
That, uhmeeting.
What meeting?
Nothing important.
Listen, just take
things slowly, yeah?
Don't go alienating the locals.
Not even if the local's a murderer?
Ah, Nicole.
I was just passing,
and I had to show you
..this!
Ah. It's got me and Clint
written all over it.
Pure class.Wow.
Absolutely wow.
It's booked up on weekends
for the next few years.
But, then, so's me mate, Nadine.
Nadine Coyle - from Girls Aloud.
I want her to sing at
the first dance.
Oh, I used to love Girls Aloud.
Can you not just play her CD?
I need a signature cocktail
and a catchy hashtag,
and I thought you two ladies
might be able to help with that.
Well, I don't do social media, so
How do you even exist?
I wondered why I couldn't find you.
Oh, you know what?
I need another bridesmaid.
Well, I can't ask Siobhan. Mm.
Finn's ex.
Concepta ran her out of town.
Caught carrying on with
the son's PE teacher.
For shame.
Would you like to be my bridesmaid?
It'll be a scream!
You hardly know me.
Well, I will by the
end of the hen weekend.
Wait. What hen weekend?
I really have to run.
Got someone in custody.
Could this be her?
Seamus, your dad's giving
us nothing.
He's not helping himself.
Don't make the same mistake as him.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Could you make that bit bigger, so
I can see the ring and the locket?
Have you got them?
Well, dad just fills an envelope
and gets paid by the weight.
He might not have sent it off yet.
You know, I still don't trust her.
Nicole needs her head feeling,
making a virtual stranger
her bridesmaid.
Ah, that's what's eating you.
Bridesmaid wars.
No. Itit's work.
All the whispers and looks.
We're supposed to be a team.
And what's this meeting
Finn's swanned off to, huh?
Not a clue. No.
But she knows.
Lady Muck.
Leila!
Any joy with Seamus?
I need to see everything
we've recovered
from the burglars' property.
Marlene.
You know everything about everyone,
and I know your gut's telling you
I'm wrong about Gerard.
It's not my gut.
It's my step dad.
You know, Uncle Barry?
Your step dad's your uncle?
No
No, don't be ridiculous.
I just call him uncle, like.
You know, the way you do.
So, when Uncle Barry was
inspector in the RUC,
he'd check on their farm,
and he got to know them.
He said Gerard's a good guy,
and, trust me
..Uncle Barry knows.
Look, Barry!
The grand ballroom.
Aye, it's grand, all right.
If you had a few dance classes,
you could be my own Brendan Cole.
Aye, and if my granny had wheels,
she'd be a bike.
We'll have to re-mortgage to pay
the bar bill, knowing your pals.
It can't be free for more
than an hour, end of.
Clint, no-one asks guests to pay
for drinks at a luxury reception.
Are you mad?
I'm beginning to wonder.
Barry? Can I have a word?
What now?
Like an official word?
Because see if this is
about my parking fines,
you don't want to believe
a word of it.
I was sitting in the bay,
every single time.
I had the engine running,
for crying out loud.
I just heard that you know Gerard
Smith and his wife, Brenda.
Got a few questions.
Oh, aye?
What have they been up to, then?
Concepta. Didn't see you there.
You should've just asked me.
I know them every bit
as well as he does.
We went to flower arranging classes,
me and Brenda.
You know, the way I do
the church displays.
Ah. You go to the same church?
Gerard and Brenda go to my church.
Haven't seen them for a while.
She used to help out with the
flowers and your man, Gerard,
he's on the gardening rota.
I've known them for donkeys, ever
since I was first joined the force.
They're nice enough.
But, still, they've kept themselves
to themselves more than most.
Never have a drink with us.
Not even on a Christmas Eve.
Aye, they're not drinkers.
Your man, he's
He's a strange cat, now that
I come to think of it.
Never trust a person who doesn't
drink, my da used to say.
God rest him.
Unless it's for, uh, religious
or cultural reasons.
Cos I'm totally fine with that.
Sounds like you think they've
got something to hide?
Why do you ask?
I can't tell you that. I'm sorry.
It's like that, is it?
Would you say they were together
most of the time?
Oh, aye. Stuck like glue.
So, Brenda Smith,
she doesn't usually go away
on a break or to see family?
No.
I mean, it's possible.
They're from Fermanagh, and they
bought that farm 50 years ago,
and in all that time I've never
known them have a visitor
or go any further than the market.
When was the last time you saw her?
Well, she got sick. Poor thing.
Couldn't shake it off.
Weeks? Months, probably.
Thanks.
You've been really helpful.
So, is it my turn now to
ask the questions?
What questions?
All about you.
Why you came here.
Oh, that? It's really not
very interesting.
But I best get back.
What do you think of her?
She's hiding something.
You were right, for once.
Brenda's jewellery.
It was in Dempsey's stash?
Yep.
You're a superstar. You've no idea
how happy you just made me.
It gets better. Border control says
no Brenda Smith has left the country
in the past couple of weeks.
So I checked the passport offices.
She doesn't have one.
So, old Gerard's told a few porkies.
It still doesn't make him
a murderer.
Maybe he's had a wee domestic
and he's too embarrassed to say.
Why lie and say he hadn't
been burgled, though?
I mean, these things are precious.
I need to do a full search.
Well, Finn's at some
top secret meeting
and you don't have a warrant.
I don't need Tactical Support Group.
Callum will do.
You're not going to run it
past the boss?
I don't need to. I'm Criminal
Investigation Department.
Well, then, I'm sure you know best.
LEILA KNOCKS ON DOOR
Mr Smith.
Sorry to disturb you again,
but there are some questions
we need to ask.
Shall I make some tea?
No, you sit down, relax.
You look a wee bit tired.
These are items we recovered
from the burglaries.
Do you recognise them?
No.
From inside the locket.
I'd swear this was you.
Had quite the head of hair
on you back then.
Never seen them before.
There are some more questions
I'd like to ask you
at the station under caution.
Mr Smith, I am arresting you on
suspicion of murder of Brenda Smith.
What?You do not have to say
anything, but it may harm
your defence if you do not mention
when questioned something
you later rely on in court.
Anything you do say may
be given in evidence.
Brian Kearney?
Does he live here too?
If he does,
Gerard didn't mention it.
There's a birth certificate,
too. Look.
Must be stolen.
Got some sort of fraud going on.
PHONE RINGS
That's supposed to be in France
with Brenda.
You arrested Gerard Smith?
And alerted the Major
Investigation Team?
I can make that call, right?
You weren't here.
You know very well where I was.
BISCUIT CRUNCHES LOUDLY
My office, now.
I wanted full confirmation that
Brenda was actually missing.
Did you forget what I told you?
About not alienating the locals?
You've been heavy handed
with a well-respected member
of our community, a pensioner.
There's going to be a backlash.
Do I have to answer her?
Look, I'm here to keep an eye, OK?
Just like you asked.
Your wife isn't in France.
She doesn't have a passport.
So why have you been lying to us?
We noticed your electricals
weren't working.
Have you been having
financial difficulties?
No more than usual.
Does your wife have life insurance?
No.
We didn't go in for all that.
Is it just the two of you
in the house?
Yes.
No kids?
Who's Brian Kearney?
No-one I know.
You've got his birth certificate
and pension card.
Are they stolen?
You think I'm a thief?!
Gerard, we're trying
really hard here, mate.
You have to admit a lot of this
simply doesn't add up.
Look, I know it's personal,
but is Brenda being away
got something to do with
this Brian Kearney?
Oh, will you please stop saying
that name to me?!
II don't know him!
Did he hurt her?
Did you do something to him?
This is ridiculous.
You're not even listening!
OK, OK.
I think it's time to take a break.
Well, if you insist on coming
with me everywhere
I mean, what do you even
think you're going to find?
You decided to give him respite.
May as well use the time
to gather evidence.
Do you really want him to have
a stroke on our watch?
Your name all over the news.
I mean, that'd be a bit
of an own goal, wouldn't it?
Say you murdered your ex
Oh, a man can only dream.
..what would you do with her?
Have her watch
Match of the Day,
safe in the knowledge
she couldn't ruin it?
Are you looking for something?
Barry?What are you doing here?
No, what are YOU doing here?
Cos I heard what you'd done
to our wee pal this morning,
and I came to see if
he was all right.
Everybody's talking about it.
I'm sorry, but in the real world
arrests aren't based on
a public vote.
The REAL world Barry.
It's OK, we got this.
Have you, though?
Cos this wouldn't have happened
on my watch, not in the RUC.
Gerard is a good man,
he's one of us.
Really? Cos you called him strange.
Barely know the real him.
Make up your mind.
Barry.
Your concern is noted, OK?
Gerard's not even here,
he's still in custody.
You are going to regret this.
I thought it'd stink of
sheep droppings in here,
but the petrol's put paid to that.
The sofa?
Is this what passes for
re-upholstery round here?
Setting a match to it
to hide the evidence?
Over here, boss!
They got a body.
Brenda?
Recovery could take a few hours.
She's in a shallow grave
at the front of the farmhouse.
What are the odds, eh?
So your man's a murderer?
Can you believe that?
We need to speak to Gerard.
How did she know?
I mean, we all think he's
this cuddly old grandpa,
and she called it from the off.
That's killer instinct, right?
Look, let's wait for forensics
before we award Miss Thing
Detective Of The Year, OK?
Mr Smith, I have to tell
you we've just recovered
a body from your property.
We have every reason to believe
it's your wife.
She isn't in France at all, is she?
Is there anything you'd like
to tell us?
I didn't murder her.
You did everything you could
to convince us
that she was still alive.
Why would you do that if
you were innocent?
We found empty boxes of
pain medication in your bins.
Heavy-duty opioids.
Is that what you used?
Brenda died of cancer.
Call our doctor if
you don't believe me!
Brenda got poorly.
She wasn't one for going
to the doctor,
but in the end it got so bad.
Dr James knew as soon as he saw her.
But by then it was too late.
It had spread,
she had secondary tumours.
She could've had treatment, but
for what?
An extra few months,
Brenda reckoned.
Maybe a year, if she was lucky.
So why lie about her
being in France?
Why bury her on your property?
I buried her
under her favourite tree.
Was it money?
Funerals are expensive.
You wouldn't be the first.
You think that's what I wanted
for her? That indignity?!
For the love of my life!
Are you out of your mind?
You don't think I feel
guilty enough?
You know it's unlawful not
to report a death?
But plenty of people don't.
Do you know why, Gerard?
So they can carry on cashing in.
What?Pensions, benefits.
I can't stand any more of this!
GERARD GASPS BREATHLESSLY
Gerard, Gerard!
Get Marlene to get
a paramedic! Now!
Gerard! Gerard?
Gerard, mate, please
Stay with me, Gerard.
Are you trying to tell me old
Gerard murdered his missus?
She doesn't know.
Any more than the rest of us.
Pay no heed.
Come on, they weren't digging up the
weeds and planting chrysanthemums.
Look, I was there!
I'm telling you, that Leila's
got it in for the man.
She's determined to
pin something on him!
Gerard
HE SCOFFS
..he's one of us.
I know a murderer when I see one.
And I know a bully, too.
I asked her to be my bridesmaid.
Well, you can un-ask her.
Save us a few quid.
Look, I'm not defending
the girl, but
Oh, here we go.
..my Finn wouldn't stand by
and let that happen.
Why don't you hold your tongue
till we know for sure?
Uncle Barry? It's Gerard.
He needs you, he's at the hospital.
Ach, what have your lot done now?
It's her.
She made the poor guy have
a heart attack or something.
I swear, if he dies
in our custody
Makes you wonder why she was
transferred so fast.
Well, I've asked Finn.
He's hiding something, I know it.
See if I was you
..I'd do my own research.
Hope Gerard's all right.
Well, it won't be
any thanks to Leila.
I should've done this
the day she came.
But that's my problem, see?
I'm too nice.
Wait, what?
So, I have this mate in Nottingham,
met her at a training weekend
for unconscious bias.
It's great craic, like.
You're digging for dirt on Leila?
I can only dig out what's
hidden, cub.
So who's in the wrong here?
RINGING TONE
Thanks for coming in, Dr James.
My pleasure.
Gerard's ECG came back fine.
So, erm, back to Brenda.
I can send you copies of
her medical notes,
now we know she's passed away.
I tried so hard to make her
have treatment but, you know,
at the end of the day
her pride won.
Pride? That's why she took so long
seeing me in the first place.
She waited till the pain
was unbearable.
She could hardly move.
Still wouldn't tell Gerard
the truth.
Made me swear.
I don't get it. Why would Brenda
be ashamed of having cancer?
HE INHALES
Because it was prostate cancer.
Prostate?
KNOCK AT DOOR
Leila. A word.
Excuse us a minute.
Gerard Smith's absconded
from hospital.
We've had a sighting near
the lighthouse,
but you need to get there fast.
Where's Finn?
I'm going to need his help.
He'll meet you up there. Go.
Hey!
What's happened?
Brenda Smith was born
Brian Kearney.
Sorry?
What?
Brenda lived as a woman all those
years with no-one any the wiser,
until she got sick
and saw the doctor.
It's Gerard.
Gerard!
Gerard!
Gerard?
I'm sorry about earlier,
but I understand everything now.
I saw Doctor James.
He told me you were wonderful.
You looked after her till the end.
I was wrong to think
you'd ever hurt her.
I loved her all my life!
My Brenda
She kept trying to talk about
what would happen when
..when the cancer took her.
But I couldn't.
We'd kept ourselves
private 52 years.
Do you think I'd let a stranger
undress her on a slab?
Laugh at her?
I thought I could deal
with it myself
And then, those lads
..broke into our home.
Saw her there.
And I knew it was all over.
No, no, no, no!
Please!
We'll sit down and really
listen this time.
I promise.
Just take a step back.
You want to know why she died?
I did murder her
..in a way.
She thought I'd be ashamed if anyone
found out who she used to be!
So she let that disease
just fester in her belly..
..to save me embarrassment!
No. It didn't start in her stomach.
Brenda had prostate cancer.
She told you a little white lie.
Because she didn't want
to be treated
for what's considered
a male disease.
And why would she?
She'd had a lovely life
as a woman
..and that's how she wanted to die.
GERARD SOBS
We met at a market.
Brenda
Brianwas 19.
I was 22.
Both farmer's sons, both single.
I didn't go for men, not at all.
I just
..fell in love.
You saw Brian Kearney as a woman.
No-one would've understood.
I barely understood.
There was none of that stuff
you see now on the telly.
We'd have been called queers,
freaks of nature.
Can you picture the other farmers,
the lads we grew up with?
I can, unfortunately.
If she was born tomorrow,
they'd have it all worked out.
She'd get the treatment,
the surgery.
But none of that mattered.
We moved here.
No-one knew us.
She was happy.
But I've let her down.
Tried to save her dignity and
now look what I've done.
Whole town'll be talking about us.
Not if I have anything
to do with it.
SHREDDER WHIRS
Blessed are those who
suffer persecution
for justice sake,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
We now commit to the ground
our sister, Brenda Smith.
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
In the name of our Lord,
Jesus Christ,
who died, was buried,
and rose again for us.
Thanks be to God. Amen.
ALL: Amen.
When Barry mentioned his church, I
thought he meant the one he goes to.
Oh, no, he's a busy lad.
There's a few strings to his bow.
And the women.
Ex wives popping up all over
the show, God help them.
He's like a dog with two tails.
See you at the Commodore, Barry.
I'll have your drink poured.
I hope you've put on a good spread.
CALLUM: You coming, Leila?
Her?
So, she near put that poor man
in the ground next to his missus.
Aw, come on.
Folk are talking.
We want to know what
you're doing here.
Cos you're leaving something out.
And we're onto you, pet.
You should make it your business to
drop in on Gerard now and again, OK?
Aye.
He'll be lonely without her. Yeah.
She was a lovely woman, Brenda.
Always quick to put the kettle on.
Not shy with the custard creams.
Mind you, I got special treatment.
Do you think you were
her type, Barry?
Oh, for goodness' sake.
she had a wee shine for me,
that's for sure.
When I had my uniform on
Catch yourself on, will you?
Not even the tide
would take you out.
You've done her proud today, Gerard.
And your secret will stay safe
with me, as long as you want it to.
Mr Smith?
Do I know you?
I'm sorry I took that jewellery
off your missus.
Wish I hadn't, like. You?
Seamus, when I said you could try to
apologise, I didn't mean here now.
I'm really sorry.
Right, you, out of here.
No, no No, wait.
There's a time I'd have
rolled my sleeves up
and folded you like a deckchair.
Well, I feel really bad.
No, honest, I do.
Well, it forced me to face things
I was trying hard not to.
Let's hope it does the same for you.
Go on, go home, Seamus.
Here.
Uncle Barry's full of hot air.
I just smile and nod
when he goes off.
Do I look like I care?
Oh, I see you.
Trying very hard not to care.
Come on.
All right? Gin and slim? Erm
Maybe I should get a round in
for everyone,
seeing as they all hate me.
Nice try. It's a free bar.
Oh, then make mine a wee double.
And no-one hates you.
Nicole just met you,
and she loved you that much
she made you a bridesmaid.
Am I right, Nicole?
Am I right?
It's OK. Who knows how long
I'll be staying here, anyway.
Or even why you came here
in the first place.
Right, that's it!
OK? I've had enough.
When people come here,
no matter what the reason,
we welcome them.
You all need to catch a grip
of yourselves.
You should be ashamed.
Marlene, forget it, yeah?
The girl has done absolutely
nothing wrong.
OK, she might have been a bit
..keen. But so what?
Her instincts were right.
Our man, Gerard, here was
in trouble and she knew it.
Who else here can say that, huh?
Gerard wants Leila here.
Am I right, Gerard, yeah?
I do, aye.
It's really fine. I can go.
Gerard wants her here because
she's been good to him.
And he's one of our own.
So, anyone who has a problem
can see me.
But you're the one
who didn't trust her.
Now, if that were true
If? ..then I was wrong.
It only happens once in
a blue moon, granted, but
So, there's no reason Leila can't
make an honest man of me, then?
WellDon't be jealous, boss.
You'll always be my number one girl.
I'm away for a drink.
Same again, my love.
Thanks for before.
I wasn't expecting you to come out
with all of that.
But what I don't get is why?
Well, I was looking for the
coroner's report on Brenda, but
..it was missing.
Was it? Hm.Weird.
So I called them, had it sent over.
OK, yeah, I got rid.
They wanted their secret
buried with her.
It didn't seem fair that it wasn't.
Well, it looks like we agree
on something, Leila.
And if everyone here gurning
knew what you'd done
for that wee couple
But they never can, right?
I promised him.
Yeah, but I know.
And I've got your back, OK?
I was just telling Finn,
I still reckon something queer
went on at that farmhouse.
Ma, keep your voice down.
I never heard the likes.
A nice old boy burying his wife
like some psychotic serial killer.
He buried her in her favourite spot.
It was nice, in a way.
That's all right, then.
Don't waste your cash
on a casket, son.
Just put me in a bin bag
and put me out on a Monday
with the hedge clippings.
Right, drinks all round?
Do you want another one?
Just for the record.
I thought you were spot on.
The way you dealt with all this.
Oh, well, I
If we'd left it to Finn and Marlene,
your man, Gerard, would
probably have done himself in.
You're the best thing
to happen to this place.
Any chance of a drink around here?
Here.
I was wondering,
would you do me the honour?
You big eejit.
Course I will.
Cheers.
So, have we got a date?
That's the thing.
I swear, since I asked
Nicole to marry me
she thinks she's joined
the Kardashians.
Listen, you're going to have
to tell her straight,
stick to a budget, or otherwise
Well, let's just hope
she's just day dreaming and
this isn't her way of What?
Stalling it?
Plan a wedding we can't afford,
we never have to do it.
PHONE RINGS
Oh, sorry, mate.
I'm going to have to take this.
That's all right. Go ahead.
Listen, I haven't had a chance
to say this yet, but
..I shouldn't have been
so hard on you, over Gerard.
That almost sounds like an apology.
Now, don't be getting carried away
with yourself.
So, was that it?
You brought me outsidefor this?
They've set a date for the trial.
It's going to be in
Nottingham Crown Court.
We should probably prepare
for a backlash.
The gang are going to have their
people out in force looking for you.
I'm still safe here, though? Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
The threat level still shot up.
How do you feel?
About going back,
giving evidence against them?
It's going to take guts.
I knew the risks when
I went undercover.
No use crying about it now.
DISTANT LAUGHTER
Where did you get to?
I thought you and me
could hit the town.
Oh, I'm not sure about that.
Oh, and
..I've got a surprise for you.
One of the boys from Belfast
was in one of these,
and it went viral.
He's got, like,
200,000 followers now.
This is online?
How? I sent it in.
Cos you need celebrating,
and we're lucky to have you here.
I'll call us a cab, yeah?
You seen a ghost?
Or did the cub show you
his gym selfies?
My face is all over the internet.
Callum's just blown my cover.