House Husbands (2012) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
You carried that team.
You won that grand final off your own boot.
I'll be working hopefully during school hours.
I've got to do the whole pick-up, drop-off thing.
How is that gonna work? I'm working on the theory that quality's better than quantity.
Nice theory.
I'm more about practice.
Siobhan makes the pies.
Kane's Homemade Pies.
There's no Kane.
So, you outsourced to Siobhan? I outsourced to Siobhan.
I'm a bad parent.
And a pie fraud.
Babies.
Kids.
It's not you.
You're not that guy.
We'll be throwing everything we can at you if you try for shared custody.
Your rap sheet doesn't exactly read like fatherhood material, does it? Oh, amazing what you do when you find out your manager's screwing your wife.
50% custody.
I won't settle for less.
Hey! What are you doing?! How did you get in here? I used my key.
You weren't here.
I live here.
I'm sorry.
This is him.
My ex.
Sorry, who are you? Kylie Wrenn.
From Blight Grant Realty.
We can, um shake at another time.
Can you put some pants on, please? We need to talk.
You have a wonderful home.
It won't take long to find a buyer.
Yeah, well, we're not selling.
Yes, we are.
Uh I should go.
I'll come back another time.
No, no, it's fine.
That's a great idea.
Just don't worry about coming back.
Ignore him.
I'll email you a price guide.
I told you yesterday I was getting a valuation.
Yeah, well, it didn't take you long.
Sorry I let myself in.
I didn't think you'd be here.
This is our home, Nic.
Not anymore.
My home and the kids' home is with Rodney.
And if I don't want to sell anymore? Buy me out if you want to.
I know you can't afford it.
I'll get back to you with Kylie's valuation.
Why didn't you tell me about the show-and-tell thing? It's on my day.
I'll deal with it.
Oh.
PARENT show-and-tell? What does that even mean? I can't believe we've got to stand up in front of the whole class and say what we do.
As if the whole world isn't obsessed enough with careers.
It's not like everyone can be a doctor or an astronaut.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not showing and telling.
Gemma can do it.
I'm sitting this one out.
There's no-one sitting out.
The apostrophe is after the S.
"Parents' show-and-tell".
As in both parents.
It's AFTER the S? So, it's BOTH parents, then? Yeah.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
Oh, have you?! I need three pies.
The in-laws are descending.
Sorry.
All sold out.
But it's Tuesday.
Order day.
I know.
I've been swamped.
Shame.
Yeah, got to be quick.
Selling like hot pies! Yeah.
What? You haven't sold a pie in two weeks.
Kane? It's a temporary glitch, OK? It's no big deal.
It's a disaster.
The pie orders keep rolling in, but there's no-one to make them.
I can't believe she abandoned me like that.
I never would have picked Siobhan to be the type of woman to run off to Hobart with some guy she hardly knows.
Aren't they married? She made a commitment to my business.
Kane's Pies.
She made the pies and then I She WAS Kane.
Do you think the universe is trying to tell you something? Maybe it's time for YOU to be you.
Make the pies yourself.
Give it another go.
I'm not going there again.
Alright.
Well, there are other options.
And, look, you always said, once Stel was in school, you'd figure out what to do with your life.
Parents' show-and-tell.
You promised Stel you'd bring the fire truck.
I don't mean to pressure you, but the rent's late.
And the electricity bill Yes, I'm working on it, OK?! OK, OK.
Hey.
The world's your oyster.
You can do whatever you want.
So what did you have for lunch? A ham sandwich.
Mmm.
Same as yesterday.
What, no cheese? I've got to go.
Abi needs me.
It's an emergency.
What, another one? Yeah, I work in Emergency.
Lewis? Again? I wish he'd find a friend.
Ever since he stopped work, I've had to hear about every single thought that enters his big, crazy head.
You love his big, crazy head.
Oh, in moderation.
Everything about Lewis should be taken in moderation.
Why does she always schedule meetings 15 minutes before I have to leave? Is that a coincidence or does she hate my guts? Don't answer that.
Rachael.
Hi.
Ready to wow me? More zing, less ping.
Let's get started, shall we? So, we're pitching to the bank to rebrand their account.
Tomorrow, I've got a business meeting interstate, and it's your day off to play with the kids, is that right? Yeah.
So, what do you think Gabriel should tell the client while you're playing in the sandpit? Because as far as I can see, you've got nothing.
Well, I thought, uh, we could suggest sending out, um blanket emails with a brief survey.
Get a sense of the perceptions of the brand.
I'm not feeling wowed.
Yeah, no-one spams anymore.
Like email's dead.
Social networking's the best way to interact with the GP.
That's 'general public'.
Uh, we could reach them with Facebook II know what social networking is.
School pick-up? Yeah.
Uh Is this working? I'm very keen.
And I think I can bring a lot to this company.
Ding, ding, ding! There goes that bell.
I'll take her.
Hey, boys! Let's go! There's an apostrophe.
Sorry? After the S.
"Parents' show-and-tell".
Plural.
Good to see you're up with primary school grammar.
I'll come with you.
What are you gonna tell a class of five-year-olds? How to get kicked off a football team? No.
Actually, I've got a job now.
Oh.
Yeah, it's, uh hospitality, really.
But more more security.
In a pub.
You're a bouncer? Right.
So, you're surrounded by beer and you go around punching people? It's good to see you've moved on.
Hmm.
Where's her bunny? Well, it should be in there somewhere.
Great! I'm really looking forward to bedtime.
You know she can't sleep without it.
I had it on the tram.
I'm pretty sure It's not my fault the bunny's missing, OK? Whose fault is it, then? The bunny's? Hey, don't be too hard on him.
This is just like you, isn't it? What? Oh, God.
You just twist things.
And you're so charming.
But you never take responsibility for anything.
Come on.
No.
You're making out like I'm a horrible person selling the family home when you were never even there.
Not for their birthdays or when they were sick I admit Angie's birth! I've made mistakes, OK? Mistakes are leaving the milk out.
Or burning the toast.
Yeah, I do that too.
Hey, I can change.
I mean, look at me.
I have changed.
God.
You will NEVER change.
You can't even bring home a stuffed bunny and you want shared custody of our children.
Nic, come on Hey! It's just a bunny! There's a big gap here.
Yeah.
Yeah, I took time out to look after our little girl, Stella.
Totally worth it, of course, but everything else just kind of went.
You know how it is with kids.
Look, I've always wanted to cook.
I did kitchenhand gigs in my 20s, and then started an apprenticeship.
Look, the job is for ASSISTANT chef, yeah? I'm a really fast learner.
And I work really hard.
We need someone with more experience.
Obviously my experience is limited, but I'm good.
I know I am.
I just need a chance to prove it.
Hey, you.
Hey.
How was your day? Oh .
.
they want more zing, less ping.
What? Who? My boss.
Isn't that Gabe? No, this is my boss boss, Rachael.
Apparently I'm not wowing her.
"Wowing her"? Mmm.
You're a bank.
You want to appeal to a younger demographic.
What do young people want? What do they do? Get into drunken brawls, car accidents and amphetamines.
Mmm.
There's an aspirational marketing pitch.
Well, that's what's wheeled into emergency every weekend.
This Rachael giving you a hard time? I will punch her in the nose.
If they don't appreciate you it's their loss.
You, Mark Oliver, are the best marketing person You don't know what I do.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Tell me my job title.
Marketing director.
No.
Um marketing executive.
You are unbelievable.
You know what you need? More zing, less ping.
Oh, that smells good.
I know.
How good am I? At stirring the casserole that I prepared at 6:00 this morning before my TEN-hour shift? It's all in the wrist action, darl.
Why don't we get that mate of yours over? Justin? I'm sure he likes casserole.
Justin Baynie? You don't like him.
I never said that.
And he's just split from his wife, hasn't he? I bet he'd love a home-cooked meal.
Nah.
I don't reckon.
Give him a call.
He'd appreciate it.
And plus, you could do with another, you know friend.
I've got heaps of friends.
Of course you do.
You've got Mark.
Yeah, and, um Kane.
Ish.
You know, and that bloke I used to play darts with.
Who? I can't remember his name.
I lost touch with people when I was working.
You know, your workmates are your workmates.
You don't hang out with them outside of work.
I bet Justin loves casserole.
Ah.
Sorry.
Have you, uh seen a rabbit? You know, small, fluffy, pink? Yep? Oh, g'day, mate.
It's Lewis.
Gemma wants to know if you want to come over for dinner.
Mate, I've kind of lost something.
I'm kind of really busy.
Sorry, mate.
Oh, yeah, me too, mate.
I'm I'm really busy.
I'm supposed to go to a darts thing later on.
Need a hand? What colour was it? Pink.
Yeah, it's pink.
No? Have you seen a bunny? It's about this big.
Pink nose.
No? Like, a you know, like, a stuffed kid's stuffed bunny thing.
No? Have you seen a bunny? Like, a Mate, are you sure it was this tram? 64? You know what? It could have been the 67 or the 96.
Definitely not the 62.
You know what? Gemma always falls for something corny like this.
So if you want to, you know get back with the missus It's way too late for that, mate.
There's no point in buying a new bunny.
You know? It's not gonna smell the same, feel the same.
It's just one of those things that Angie's always had.
You know? You can't replace it.
Well, let's have another look.
I'll just grab this for Tilly.
Look, it's just us.
Tilda's at Poppy's and your dad is rabbit-hunting.
Is that code for something? He's on a man date.
He's not like us normal people.
Not men.
They can't talk unless they're doing something.
That way, they can pretend they're not communicating.
Let alone showing their feelings.
That's why they invented golf.
And darts.
And cricket.
And rabbit-hunting? Justin's kid lost his toy and your dad is helping him find it.
Dad's on a date with Justin Baynie? Oh, you know him from the pub.
I don't KNOW know him.
He's just some random bouncer that I just happen to work with sometimes.
I mean, yeah, that's all.
Mmm.
Yum! Sorry? Oh, the casserole.
It's yum.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Yum.
Come on.
Sleep time.
You've got a big day tomorrow.
Uncle Tom's bringing his fire truck to school for show-and-tell.
What are you gonna bring? Oh, well, the fire truck's so big, there's not enough room for me to do show-and-tell too.
But you've got to tell us what you do.
Well I'm in between things.
But you know what? The world is my oyster.
I cut my foot on an oyster once.
Yeah.
That's right.
Come on.
Sleep time.
Tell me the story.
Really? Again? Once upon a time, there was a beautiful baby princess named Stella.
And one day, something very sad happened to the princess's mummy.
The queen.
She got very sick and went to heaven.
But then something magical happened.
Baby Princess Stella went to live with her Uncle Tom and his charming Prince Kane.
That's me.
Never in their wildest dreams did they think they'd be lucky enough to have a little girl to look after.
Now, years went by, and baby Stella grew up to be a big, poisonous toad! No! Alright.
She grew up to be a clever, beautiful princess and went to big school.
And then what happened? Well, Princess Stella fell into a deep sleep and she didn't make a noise until 7:30am the next morning.
And they all lived happily ever after.
Maybe it WAS the 62.
We've been on every tram.
We've done every route more than once.
We're not gonna find the bunny.
Look, if we can catch the next tram back to No, Justin, listen to me.
No, no, get off at Glen Eira Road No-one can say we haven't given this a fair crack.
The bunny's gone.
It's not about the bunny.
It's about my kids.
I have a court case in a month.
They want full custody.
They reckon I can't look after my own kids.
Now, if I don't get this bunny back it's proof they're right, mate.
Well, I understand what you're going through No, no, no.
You don't.
You've still got your wife, your kids, your house.
I could lose everything.
She's not my wife.
Gemma, we're not married.
I've been married before a couple of times.
And divorced.
Well, Gemma didn't want to be wife number three.
You know, and I've got my girls.
I've got Lucy and Tilly.
But there's another one.
Phoebe.
She's 16.
She stayed with her mum when we split up.
Right.
I didn't know that.
She's overseas.
Not that that makes any difference.
Listen, Jus, we're at the end of the line here.
There's really only one place to go, and that's home, mate.
Pass the salt.
Bed! But I have to finish my homework.
Please? It's Happy Homework.
Bed! Communications and marketing analyst.
You give up yet? Oh, come on.
No-one knows what their partner really does.
It's not like you're across every boring detail of my life.
You started as an intern at St Michael's.
Your first patient was Margot Morton.
You diagnosed her with appendicitis.
She gave you a packet of jelly beans, which you LOVED, apart from the black ones.
You were a resident at McGilvray Memorial Hospital, which you quite liked, until you had that horrible boss who smelt of milk.
So you went back to St Mike's as a registrar in the emergency department.
You tossed up whether to specialise in paediatrics.
You then had your anaesthetist phase.
You then decided ultimately to stay in emergency because you got off on the adrenaline and loved the fact that it's a bloke's world and you were the best.
You're currently studying to specialise as a consultant.
Your title is Dr Abigail Albert, MB BS, brackets, Hons.
Pass the pepper.
Hmm.
Sorry you missed your darts night.
What? Didn't you say some mate asked you? Oh, yeah.
Well, you know.
There'll be other darts nights.
I like darts.
Yeah? Hey, that's That kid's got our bunny.
OK, honey, let's go.
Just watch the step there, OK? Let me handle this.
I'm very good in a delicate situation.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Oh.
Sorry? Hi there.
I couldn't help but notice the, uh, rabbit your little girl's holding.
It's mine.
Sorry? Wait, no.
He doesn't mean it like that.
Um did you find that bunny on the tram? Look, I don't know who you are.
But she found it.
It's hers.
Come on, sweetheart.
Let's go.
Yeah, well, hang on a second.
Mate, we can't take a toy from a child.
Yeah, that'd be Wrong.
But it IS ours.
It's yours.
Well, Angie's.
Hey! Has she gone to sleep yet? He looks a bit scraggly.
Yeah.
He, um Bunny went on a little adventure today.
He he caught a tram.
But then he wanted to get home to the chickens.
Are you being rude? Your mum bought me these! Um, hey, I got the quote back from Kylie.
Um by the time we pay back the mortgage, we'll be lucky to break even.
Well, maybe we should hold on to it.
In case the market improves.
I don't think it will.
And neither does Rodney.
Thanks for bringing him home.
I miss you.
Justin Tell me you don't miss me too.
You can't do this now.
Everything OK? Uh, just saying goodnight to my wife.
Thanks.
So, I suppose a kiss is out of the question, then? Maybe next time.
How was your man date with Justin? Yeah, good.
Oh.
Is that another postcard from Phoebe? Nah, I'm just reading the old one.
You should call her.
They have phones in Germany.
I bought you a pink pony today, but I had to give it to someone else.
Another woman? She was six.
I love your big, crazy head.
Have you ever had a fire truck at school before? No.
It's very exciting.
He's normally very reliable.
Stel's really excited about having you this year.
Aw.
She's a lovely girl.
It's a great idea.
Parents' show-and-tell.
Yeah.
Oh.
Excuse me.
Where the hell are you? Listen, I've made a decision about the assistant cook position.
Oh, sorry.
I thought you were s Like I said, we're looking for someone with more experience.
How am I supposed to get more if no-one will give me any? If you just tried my Thanks.
If you tell me you're not on your way yet What, you're the only fireman in Melbourne? Fine.
You wouldn't believe it.
There was a fire! Oh.
No, I understand.
We don't want to keep him away from his important work.
No, exactly, yeah.
That's what I said.
Uh, well, maybe YOU have something for show-and-tell.
Me? Oh, no, I haven't.
Oh, I'm sure Stella would love for you to come in.
She's always talking about you in class.
Really? All the time.
You just have to be yourself.
You can do that, can't you? Happy Homework.
Yay! I may not physically be at work all the time, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about work.
You know, when I'm at the school gates, or hanging out the washing.
The washing? Yeah, well, it helps me think.
I don't know why you're telling me this.
I don't even know why you're here.
It's supposed to be your day off.
The clients are waiting Yeah, just listen, OK? My daughter's doing this thing called Happy Homework, OK? She is obsessed by it.
She won't even go to sleep, she wants to do it so bad.
That's what you've got to go in there and tell them.
Homework? That's your pitch?! Homework - it's not just the kids, OK? It's a team effort.
The family always help.
OK, so, you get them to sponsor a kids' educational website, alright? Associate themselves with something wholesome, worthwhile, yet modern and progressive.
It's new.
It's now.
It's targeting the kids and the parents.
Two generations.
All in the one campaign.
All in the one campaign.
They'll love it.
That's the pitch! Alright.
After you.
Hey, you Hey, um They're from a bank.
I don't exactly think they're thong people.
Hey? I'll let you know how it goes.
Alright? Thanks, mate.
Hi.
Gabriel.
Pleased to meet you.
In the good old days, you dropped your kids off at school and picked them up 12 years later.
None of this getting involved nonsense.
Do you remember what you said when you sold your business? Now, this is a great opportunity to bond with your daughter.
No.
YOU said that.
Hey, that's her.
Who? Justin's ex.
Mr Albert taught everybody how to make pies.
The kids loved it.
Yeah, well, I brought Lego to show 'em how to build.
That sounds great.
We'll hear from you in a moment, Mr Crabb.
OK, I'm just gonna settle the kids back in class, so if you give me a minute, and then come in.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Let's show these mums and dads how sensibly we can get back to class.
Let's go.
Quick.
Quick as you can.
Back to class.
Pie, anyone? Kane.
Don't give him any pie.
That's Rodney.
Who? Justin's home-wrecker.
Arsehole.
Yeah.
Can't believe I offered him pie.
I'm Gemma.
I'm Tilda's mum.
Hi.
I'm Nicola.
Jacob and Zac's mum.
This is Rodney.
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah, we know Jacob and Zac.
Very well.
We're Justin's mates.
Good mates.
Shall we go in? Mmm.
Good idea.
Behave.
I was.
Hi, kids.
Thanks for inviting us to your classroom.
We're Zac and Jacob's parents.
Parents? Shhh.
Now, who knows what this is? A medal.
It's a medal.
That's right.
What's he doing with a premiership medal? He's never played a grand final.
Huh! I know, mate.
I mean, I was this far away from saying that.
But I had to behave myself, 'cause the kids were there and I had Gemma.
He was trying to make out the medal was his just 'cause he managed a couple of blokes on the winning side.
What's he even doing there? I don't know.
But don't worry about it.
Me and Kaney gave him the brush! Made him feel very unwelcome.
Thanks.
But then when he started banging on about being the boys' dad, well, that's when I wanted to deck him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What did he say? Oh, I can't remember exactly Rodney said he was their dad in front of the kids? What did Nicola do? Well, maybe she didn't hear him.
Justin you really should take YOUR premiership medal and show the kids.
I mean, you earnt yours.
They should know that.
How good are you? They loved it! No, look I really I've got to get home.
Pfft! Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Surely you can take half an hour out of the washing to celebrate.
Rachael doesn't get back from Sydney till tomorrow and you nailed the account.
Hmm? To you.
Ando, mate.
Yeah, I've been, um I've been meaning to call you, but, uh Hey, I want to ask you a favour.
I seem to have lost my premiership medal and, uh You two.
Second date.
It's getting serious.
Guess who he's talking to.
Ando.
Neil Anderson.
How can you be my daughter and not know who Ando is? He's coming here.
We're borrowing his premiership medal.
Justin's gonna take it to school and show the kids.
This is a football thing? Sweet.
He should be here in a tick.
Said we'd meet him for a game of pool.
'Cause you're not allowed to talk, since you're a boy and everything.
Last time I checked.
What is it with men and talking? I'll rack up.
Try it! Just taste it.
I told you, I hired someone else.
I don't want a job.
I've got my own business.
Kane's Homemade Pies.
Only now I'M making the pies.
Come on.
Just try it.
Hey? Half a piece.
You look hungry.
So? It's good! It's better than good.
It's great.
Good riddance to Siobhan and her cheap, soulless pies.
Who? I'll bake you 10 a day.
I'll take five.
Seven.
Deal.
Well, how long did he say he was gonna be? Dunno.
Maybe he's busy.
Nah, he'll turn up, mate.
You might want to give him another call.
Haven't you harassed Ando enough for one day? What's it got to do with you? I'm his manager.
He asked me to come down.
He doesn't want anything to do with you.
Oh, yeah? Who told him to say that, I wonder.
Listen, mate, you can make out I'm the bad guy, but you're giving me way too much credit.
You think I've got the kind of power to get you kicked off that team? It's your so-called mates.
Ando, Rollsy, all of them.
They'd had it up to here with you.
Never turning up to training.
Screwing up.
Dragging their reputations down into the mud with you.
Yeah, let's go, mate.
Why do you think Ando doesn't want to have a beer with you? Huh? He and the others went to the club president and begged him.
Either you went or they did.
It was your own team who sacked you, mate.
Nothing to do with me.
I've got to go.
Got to get the boys from school.
Oh.
I suppose a kiss is out of the question? Yeah, go on.
Do it.
Do it! I've had better.
Did that go in? Not only talented, but you're funny too.
You're a funny guy.
You know, it felt kind of weird coming back here, you know, with me, you know, being your boss and you being my boss.
Oh, same.
I was stressing out.
But together, we are Gold together.
Platinum.
You taught me everything I know.
Oh, ssss! To us.
To us.
Mmm.
- Where did all the champagne go? - Mark? Uh uh, hi, Abi.
You've met Gabe.
Here.
The chief.
The fearless leader.
Hi.
I've been calling.
Why aren't you answering your phone? Who? Are you drunk? Um We've got show-and-tell at your child's school.
Oops.
I should go.
Alright! See you, buddy! Get up.
Come on, get up.
- Up, up, up, up! - OK.
Yeah, yeah.
I do the talking.
You say nothing.
Nothing? That, boys and girls, is why you should always wear a helmet when you're riding a bike.
Or a scooter.
Yep.
Thanks, Mark.
Or a skateboard.
OK.
That's it for today.
Thanks for having us, kids.
We're off.
Yes, Poppy? Daddy hasn't said what HE does.
Oh! You've got so much work to get back to.
It's Oh, no, it's fine.
Can you tell the kids what you do? He's in marketing.
Mark from marketing! OK.
Bye, everyone! Do you get it? Like, seriously! Oh, I'm sorry.
No, wait, look, I love what I do, even though nobody knows what it actually is.
Uh, my job is about it's about understanding an audience.
It's about knowing your market.
It's about understanding what people want and what people like.
And I think I might know what you like.
Hit it, Miss Nadir.
Hit what? The the button.
Shake that thing! Come on! Let's dance! Follow me! Here's the deal.
I get the girls from soccer.
He's all yours.
Did you start without us, mate? You should have seen me at school.
I was a hit.
Oh, dear.
Feed him only water.
Good luck.
Park yourself here, buddy.
Oh, they loved me, 'cause I'm the dancing man.
- Just drink your water, twinkle-toes.
- I'm the man.
Scored a new supplier.
Seven pies a day.
I'm back, baby.
Kane is back.
Someone's missing.
No, he's not coming.
What? What did you do? I didn't do anything.
It's Rodney's fault.
Does he know you're playing poker? Of course he knows we're playing poker.
He doesn't want to come.
Off you go.
I'm hungry.
Do you have any alcohol? Ignore him.
He got drunk at show-and-tell.
Did you do yours? Nah.
I'm not doing it.
Oh, you've got to do it.
You could do the hokey-pokey.
Yo.
Boo-ya.
Don't look at him like that.
He's a bigger man than you are.
Even if he did dance like a lunatic.
And even him with his ridiculous pies.
Much bigger man than you.
They were there today for their kids.
Where were you? I had nothing to bring.
Your kids don't care what you bring to show-and-tell.
They just want you to turn up.
He's right, actually.
You've got a court case in a month.
You still want to get shared custody? I helped you find your rabbit 'cause you said you wanted to fight.
So fight.
Is Daddy sick? Poppy, Poppy, darling, shh, please.
Director, colon, channel consumer and online marketing, beautiful father, sexy husband and master move-buster.
Whoa! I think I just got drunk.
What's 'drunk'? Eat your breakfast.
Hi, everyone.
Uh I'm Justin.
And my job is I'm a I'm a dad.
And I've brought this to show you.
This is Angie.
And Angie's favourite toy in the entire world is Here she is.
Bunny.
Now, Bunny went on a huge adventure the other day.
He caught a tram down St Kilda Road and wanted to go to the pub.
Uh no.
Wanted to get on at No.
No? The, uh to the fruit shop to buy some carrots.
Because bunnies love to see at night.
Well, finally, someone with some zing.
Mark, did you hear Gabriel's idea? No.
Won us the bank rebrand.
Have you heard of Happy Homework? You've got to get with the times.
It's all about homework.
I suggest you do some of your own.
She's asleep.
I'll put her down.
I heard you rolled on the house.
You know, I admire you.
Bothering.
You've got no chance of getting custody, yet you're carrying on with all this nonsense with Angie.
She's my daughter.
Yeah, well, you might think that.
But she won't.
Kids don't form memories till they're three years old.
You'll be long gone by then.
Boys, go to your room.
Quickly.
What have you done? One down.
Only 24 to go.
Shh! There's no-one on! The new Aussie series that's full of heart is also full of drama.
There's a rule-book that says there's only one way to cook and clean and look after your kids.
Written by women.
It's a set-up, cos I'm a bloke so I'm bound to fail.
Dad! How's my favourite daughter? You're not going to make a fortune baking pies.
Says who?! Why don't we talk about it before we make any decisions? You're the one that called him a cranky old Kane! As long as you can get up in the morning and feel like you're a real man.
Yeah, thanks for that, Noel.
So the quicker we get this done, the better it will be for everyone.
What do you want? Divorce papers.
If you just sign, we can sort the rest.
You need to get over your ex.
I am over her.
Well, clearly What? No.
No way! Do I have to take him to a fancy restaurant or can I do it over a spag bol in my good slippers? Come here! I think you're just playing hard to get, Lewis.
It was a bit of fun! I heard you were up for that.
Kylie Wren called.
Australia's new hit drama is full of surprises.
Will you promote me to husband?
You won that grand final off your own boot.
I'll be working hopefully during school hours.
I've got to do the whole pick-up, drop-off thing.
How is that gonna work? I'm working on the theory that quality's better than quantity.
Nice theory.
I'm more about practice.
Siobhan makes the pies.
Kane's Homemade Pies.
There's no Kane.
So, you outsourced to Siobhan? I outsourced to Siobhan.
I'm a bad parent.
And a pie fraud.
Babies.
Kids.
It's not you.
You're not that guy.
We'll be throwing everything we can at you if you try for shared custody.
Your rap sheet doesn't exactly read like fatherhood material, does it? Oh, amazing what you do when you find out your manager's screwing your wife.
50% custody.
I won't settle for less.
Hey! What are you doing?! How did you get in here? I used my key.
You weren't here.
I live here.
I'm sorry.
This is him.
My ex.
Sorry, who are you? Kylie Wrenn.
From Blight Grant Realty.
We can, um shake at another time.
Can you put some pants on, please? We need to talk.
You have a wonderful home.
It won't take long to find a buyer.
Yeah, well, we're not selling.
Yes, we are.
Uh I should go.
I'll come back another time.
No, no, it's fine.
That's a great idea.
Just don't worry about coming back.
Ignore him.
I'll email you a price guide.
I told you yesterday I was getting a valuation.
Yeah, well, it didn't take you long.
Sorry I let myself in.
I didn't think you'd be here.
This is our home, Nic.
Not anymore.
My home and the kids' home is with Rodney.
And if I don't want to sell anymore? Buy me out if you want to.
I know you can't afford it.
I'll get back to you with Kylie's valuation.
Why didn't you tell me about the show-and-tell thing? It's on my day.
I'll deal with it.
Oh.
PARENT show-and-tell? What does that even mean? I can't believe we've got to stand up in front of the whole class and say what we do.
As if the whole world isn't obsessed enough with careers.
It's not like everyone can be a doctor or an astronaut.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not showing and telling.
Gemma can do it.
I'm sitting this one out.
There's no-one sitting out.
The apostrophe is after the S.
"Parents' show-and-tell".
As in both parents.
It's AFTER the S? So, it's BOTH parents, then? Yeah.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
Oh, have you?! I need three pies.
The in-laws are descending.
Sorry.
All sold out.
But it's Tuesday.
Order day.
I know.
I've been swamped.
Shame.
Yeah, got to be quick.
Selling like hot pies! Yeah.
What? You haven't sold a pie in two weeks.
Kane? It's a temporary glitch, OK? It's no big deal.
It's a disaster.
The pie orders keep rolling in, but there's no-one to make them.
I can't believe she abandoned me like that.
I never would have picked Siobhan to be the type of woman to run off to Hobart with some guy she hardly knows.
Aren't they married? She made a commitment to my business.
Kane's Pies.
She made the pies and then I She WAS Kane.
Do you think the universe is trying to tell you something? Maybe it's time for YOU to be you.
Make the pies yourself.
Give it another go.
I'm not going there again.
Alright.
Well, there are other options.
And, look, you always said, once Stel was in school, you'd figure out what to do with your life.
Parents' show-and-tell.
You promised Stel you'd bring the fire truck.
I don't mean to pressure you, but the rent's late.
And the electricity bill Yes, I'm working on it, OK?! OK, OK.
Hey.
The world's your oyster.
You can do whatever you want.
So what did you have for lunch? A ham sandwich.
Mmm.
Same as yesterday.
What, no cheese? I've got to go.
Abi needs me.
It's an emergency.
What, another one? Yeah, I work in Emergency.
Lewis? Again? I wish he'd find a friend.
Ever since he stopped work, I've had to hear about every single thought that enters his big, crazy head.
You love his big, crazy head.
Oh, in moderation.
Everything about Lewis should be taken in moderation.
Why does she always schedule meetings 15 minutes before I have to leave? Is that a coincidence or does she hate my guts? Don't answer that.
Rachael.
Hi.
Ready to wow me? More zing, less ping.
Let's get started, shall we? So, we're pitching to the bank to rebrand their account.
Tomorrow, I've got a business meeting interstate, and it's your day off to play with the kids, is that right? Yeah.
So, what do you think Gabriel should tell the client while you're playing in the sandpit? Because as far as I can see, you've got nothing.
Well, I thought, uh, we could suggest sending out, um blanket emails with a brief survey.
Get a sense of the perceptions of the brand.
I'm not feeling wowed.
Yeah, no-one spams anymore.
Like email's dead.
Social networking's the best way to interact with the GP.
That's 'general public'.
Uh, we could reach them with Facebook II know what social networking is.
School pick-up? Yeah.
Uh Is this working? I'm very keen.
And I think I can bring a lot to this company.
Ding, ding, ding! There goes that bell.
I'll take her.
Hey, boys! Let's go! There's an apostrophe.
Sorry? After the S.
"Parents' show-and-tell".
Plural.
Good to see you're up with primary school grammar.
I'll come with you.
What are you gonna tell a class of five-year-olds? How to get kicked off a football team? No.
Actually, I've got a job now.
Oh.
Yeah, it's, uh hospitality, really.
But more more security.
In a pub.
You're a bouncer? Right.
So, you're surrounded by beer and you go around punching people? It's good to see you've moved on.
Hmm.
Where's her bunny? Well, it should be in there somewhere.
Great! I'm really looking forward to bedtime.
You know she can't sleep without it.
I had it on the tram.
I'm pretty sure It's not my fault the bunny's missing, OK? Whose fault is it, then? The bunny's? Hey, don't be too hard on him.
This is just like you, isn't it? What? Oh, God.
You just twist things.
And you're so charming.
But you never take responsibility for anything.
Come on.
No.
You're making out like I'm a horrible person selling the family home when you were never even there.
Not for their birthdays or when they were sick I admit Angie's birth! I've made mistakes, OK? Mistakes are leaving the milk out.
Or burning the toast.
Yeah, I do that too.
Hey, I can change.
I mean, look at me.
I have changed.
God.
You will NEVER change.
You can't even bring home a stuffed bunny and you want shared custody of our children.
Nic, come on Hey! It's just a bunny! There's a big gap here.
Yeah.
Yeah, I took time out to look after our little girl, Stella.
Totally worth it, of course, but everything else just kind of went.
You know how it is with kids.
Look, I've always wanted to cook.
I did kitchenhand gigs in my 20s, and then started an apprenticeship.
Look, the job is for ASSISTANT chef, yeah? I'm a really fast learner.
And I work really hard.
We need someone with more experience.
Obviously my experience is limited, but I'm good.
I know I am.
I just need a chance to prove it.
Hey, you.
Hey.
How was your day? Oh .
.
they want more zing, less ping.
What? Who? My boss.
Isn't that Gabe? No, this is my boss boss, Rachael.
Apparently I'm not wowing her.
"Wowing her"? Mmm.
You're a bank.
You want to appeal to a younger demographic.
What do young people want? What do they do? Get into drunken brawls, car accidents and amphetamines.
Mmm.
There's an aspirational marketing pitch.
Well, that's what's wheeled into emergency every weekend.
This Rachael giving you a hard time? I will punch her in the nose.
If they don't appreciate you it's their loss.
You, Mark Oliver, are the best marketing person You don't know what I do.
Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Tell me my job title.
Marketing director.
No.
Um marketing executive.
You are unbelievable.
You know what you need? More zing, less ping.
Oh, that smells good.
I know.
How good am I? At stirring the casserole that I prepared at 6:00 this morning before my TEN-hour shift? It's all in the wrist action, darl.
Why don't we get that mate of yours over? Justin? I'm sure he likes casserole.
Justin Baynie? You don't like him.
I never said that.
And he's just split from his wife, hasn't he? I bet he'd love a home-cooked meal.
Nah.
I don't reckon.
Give him a call.
He'd appreciate it.
And plus, you could do with another, you know friend.
I've got heaps of friends.
Of course you do.
You've got Mark.
Yeah, and, um Kane.
Ish.
You know, and that bloke I used to play darts with.
Who? I can't remember his name.
I lost touch with people when I was working.
You know, your workmates are your workmates.
You don't hang out with them outside of work.
I bet Justin loves casserole.
Ah.
Sorry.
Have you, uh seen a rabbit? You know, small, fluffy, pink? Yep? Oh, g'day, mate.
It's Lewis.
Gemma wants to know if you want to come over for dinner.
Mate, I've kind of lost something.
I'm kind of really busy.
Sorry, mate.
Oh, yeah, me too, mate.
I'm I'm really busy.
I'm supposed to go to a darts thing later on.
Need a hand? What colour was it? Pink.
Yeah, it's pink.
No? Have you seen a bunny? It's about this big.
Pink nose.
No? Like, a you know, like, a stuffed kid's stuffed bunny thing.
No? Have you seen a bunny? Like, a Mate, are you sure it was this tram? 64? You know what? It could have been the 67 or the 96.
Definitely not the 62.
You know what? Gemma always falls for something corny like this.
So if you want to, you know get back with the missus It's way too late for that, mate.
There's no point in buying a new bunny.
You know? It's not gonna smell the same, feel the same.
It's just one of those things that Angie's always had.
You know? You can't replace it.
Well, let's have another look.
I'll just grab this for Tilly.
Look, it's just us.
Tilda's at Poppy's and your dad is rabbit-hunting.
Is that code for something? He's on a man date.
He's not like us normal people.
Not men.
They can't talk unless they're doing something.
That way, they can pretend they're not communicating.
Let alone showing their feelings.
That's why they invented golf.
And darts.
And cricket.
And rabbit-hunting? Justin's kid lost his toy and your dad is helping him find it.
Dad's on a date with Justin Baynie? Oh, you know him from the pub.
I don't KNOW know him.
He's just some random bouncer that I just happen to work with sometimes.
I mean, yeah, that's all.
Mmm.
Yum! Sorry? Oh, the casserole.
It's yum.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Yum.
Come on.
Sleep time.
You've got a big day tomorrow.
Uncle Tom's bringing his fire truck to school for show-and-tell.
What are you gonna bring? Oh, well, the fire truck's so big, there's not enough room for me to do show-and-tell too.
But you've got to tell us what you do.
Well I'm in between things.
But you know what? The world is my oyster.
I cut my foot on an oyster once.
Yeah.
That's right.
Come on.
Sleep time.
Tell me the story.
Really? Again? Once upon a time, there was a beautiful baby princess named Stella.
And one day, something very sad happened to the princess's mummy.
The queen.
She got very sick and went to heaven.
But then something magical happened.
Baby Princess Stella went to live with her Uncle Tom and his charming Prince Kane.
That's me.
Never in their wildest dreams did they think they'd be lucky enough to have a little girl to look after.
Now, years went by, and baby Stella grew up to be a big, poisonous toad! No! Alright.
She grew up to be a clever, beautiful princess and went to big school.
And then what happened? Well, Princess Stella fell into a deep sleep and she didn't make a noise until 7:30am the next morning.
And they all lived happily ever after.
Maybe it WAS the 62.
We've been on every tram.
We've done every route more than once.
We're not gonna find the bunny.
Look, if we can catch the next tram back to No, Justin, listen to me.
No, no, get off at Glen Eira Road No-one can say we haven't given this a fair crack.
The bunny's gone.
It's not about the bunny.
It's about my kids.
I have a court case in a month.
They want full custody.
They reckon I can't look after my own kids.
Now, if I don't get this bunny back it's proof they're right, mate.
Well, I understand what you're going through No, no, no.
You don't.
You've still got your wife, your kids, your house.
I could lose everything.
She's not my wife.
Gemma, we're not married.
I've been married before a couple of times.
And divorced.
Well, Gemma didn't want to be wife number three.
You know, and I've got my girls.
I've got Lucy and Tilly.
But there's another one.
Phoebe.
She's 16.
She stayed with her mum when we split up.
Right.
I didn't know that.
She's overseas.
Not that that makes any difference.
Listen, Jus, we're at the end of the line here.
There's really only one place to go, and that's home, mate.
Pass the salt.
Bed! But I have to finish my homework.
Please? It's Happy Homework.
Bed! Communications and marketing analyst.
You give up yet? Oh, come on.
No-one knows what their partner really does.
It's not like you're across every boring detail of my life.
You started as an intern at St Michael's.
Your first patient was Margot Morton.
You diagnosed her with appendicitis.
She gave you a packet of jelly beans, which you LOVED, apart from the black ones.
You were a resident at McGilvray Memorial Hospital, which you quite liked, until you had that horrible boss who smelt of milk.
So you went back to St Mike's as a registrar in the emergency department.
You tossed up whether to specialise in paediatrics.
You then had your anaesthetist phase.
You then decided ultimately to stay in emergency because you got off on the adrenaline and loved the fact that it's a bloke's world and you were the best.
You're currently studying to specialise as a consultant.
Your title is Dr Abigail Albert, MB BS, brackets, Hons.
Pass the pepper.
Hmm.
Sorry you missed your darts night.
What? Didn't you say some mate asked you? Oh, yeah.
Well, you know.
There'll be other darts nights.
I like darts.
Yeah? Hey, that's That kid's got our bunny.
OK, honey, let's go.
Just watch the step there, OK? Let me handle this.
I'm very good in a delicate situation.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Oh.
Sorry? Hi there.
I couldn't help but notice the, uh, rabbit your little girl's holding.
It's mine.
Sorry? Wait, no.
He doesn't mean it like that.
Um did you find that bunny on the tram? Look, I don't know who you are.
But she found it.
It's hers.
Come on, sweetheart.
Let's go.
Yeah, well, hang on a second.
Mate, we can't take a toy from a child.
Yeah, that'd be Wrong.
But it IS ours.
It's yours.
Well, Angie's.
Hey! Has she gone to sleep yet? He looks a bit scraggly.
Yeah.
He, um Bunny went on a little adventure today.
He he caught a tram.
But then he wanted to get home to the chickens.
Are you being rude? Your mum bought me these! Um, hey, I got the quote back from Kylie.
Um by the time we pay back the mortgage, we'll be lucky to break even.
Well, maybe we should hold on to it.
In case the market improves.
I don't think it will.
And neither does Rodney.
Thanks for bringing him home.
I miss you.
Justin Tell me you don't miss me too.
You can't do this now.
Everything OK? Uh, just saying goodnight to my wife.
Thanks.
So, I suppose a kiss is out of the question, then? Maybe next time.
How was your man date with Justin? Yeah, good.
Oh.
Is that another postcard from Phoebe? Nah, I'm just reading the old one.
You should call her.
They have phones in Germany.
I bought you a pink pony today, but I had to give it to someone else.
Another woman? She was six.
I love your big, crazy head.
Have you ever had a fire truck at school before? No.
It's very exciting.
He's normally very reliable.
Stel's really excited about having you this year.
Aw.
She's a lovely girl.
It's a great idea.
Parents' show-and-tell.
Yeah.
Oh.
Excuse me.
Where the hell are you? Listen, I've made a decision about the assistant cook position.
Oh, sorry.
I thought you were s Like I said, we're looking for someone with more experience.
How am I supposed to get more if no-one will give me any? If you just tried my Thanks.
If you tell me you're not on your way yet What, you're the only fireman in Melbourne? Fine.
You wouldn't believe it.
There was a fire! Oh.
No, I understand.
We don't want to keep him away from his important work.
No, exactly, yeah.
That's what I said.
Uh, well, maybe YOU have something for show-and-tell.
Me? Oh, no, I haven't.
Oh, I'm sure Stella would love for you to come in.
She's always talking about you in class.
Really? All the time.
You just have to be yourself.
You can do that, can't you? Happy Homework.
Yay! I may not physically be at work all the time, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about work.
You know, when I'm at the school gates, or hanging out the washing.
The washing? Yeah, well, it helps me think.
I don't know why you're telling me this.
I don't even know why you're here.
It's supposed to be your day off.
The clients are waiting Yeah, just listen, OK? My daughter's doing this thing called Happy Homework, OK? She is obsessed by it.
She won't even go to sleep, she wants to do it so bad.
That's what you've got to go in there and tell them.
Homework? That's your pitch?! Homework - it's not just the kids, OK? It's a team effort.
The family always help.
OK, so, you get them to sponsor a kids' educational website, alright? Associate themselves with something wholesome, worthwhile, yet modern and progressive.
It's new.
It's now.
It's targeting the kids and the parents.
Two generations.
All in the one campaign.
All in the one campaign.
They'll love it.
That's the pitch! Alright.
After you.
Hey, you Hey, um They're from a bank.
I don't exactly think they're thong people.
Hey? I'll let you know how it goes.
Alright? Thanks, mate.
Hi.
Gabriel.
Pleased to meet you.
In the good old days, you dropped your kids off at school and picked them up 12 years later.
None of this getting involved nonsense.
Do you remember what you said when you sold your business? Now, this is a great opportunity to bond with your daughter.
No.
YOU said that.
Hey, that's her.
Who? Justin's ex.
Mr Albert taught everybody how to make pies.
The kids loved it.
Yeah, well, I brought Lego to show 'em how to build.
That sounds great.
We'll hear from you in a moment, Mr Crabb.
OK, I'm just gonna settle the kids back in class, so if you give me a minute, and then come in.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Let's show these mums and dads how sensibly we can get back to class.
Let's go.
Quick.
Quick as you can.
Back to class.
Pie, anyone? Kane.
Don't give him any pie.
That's Rodney.
Who? Justin's home-wrecker.
Arsehole.
Yeah.
Can't believe I offered him pie.
I'm Gemma.
I'm Tilda's mum.
Hi.
I'm Nicola.
Jacob and Zac's mum.
This is Rodney.
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah, we know Jacob and Zac.
Very well.
We're Justin's mates.
Good mates.
Shall we go in? Mmm.
Good idea.
Behave.
I was.
Hi, kids.
Thanks for inviting us to your classroom.
We're Zac and Jacob's parents.
Parents? Shhh.
Now, who knows what this is? A medal.
It's a medal.
That's right.
What's he doing with a premiership medal? He's never played a grand final.
Huh! I know, mate.
I mean, I was this far away from saying that.
But I had to behave myself, 'cause the kids were there and I had Gemma.
He was trying to make out the medal was his just 'cause he managed a couple of blokes on the winning side.
What's he even doing there? I don't know.
But don't worry about it.
Me and Kaney gave him the brush! Made him feel very unwelcome.
Thanks.
But then when he started banging on about being the boys' dad, well, that's when I wanted to deck him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What did he say? Oh, I can't remember exactly Rodney said he was their dad in front of the kids? What did Nicola do? Well, maybe she didn't hear him.
Justin you really should take YOUR premiership medal and show the kids.
I mean, you earnt yours.
They should know that.
How good are you? They loved it! No, look I really I've got to get home.
Pfft! Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Surely you can take half an hour out of the washing to celebrate.
Rachael doesn't get back from Sydney till tomorrow and you nailed the account.
Hmm? To you.
Ando, mate.
Yeah, I've been, um I've been meaning to call you, but, uh Hey, I want to ask you a favour.
I seem to have lost my premiership medal and, uh You two.
Second date.
It's getting serious.
Guess who he's talking to.
Ando.
Neil Anderson.
How can you be my daughter and not know who Ando is? He's coming here.
We're borrowing his premiership medal.
Justin's gonna take it to school and show the kids.
This is a football thing? Sweet.
He should be here in a tick.
Said we'd meet him for a game of pool.
'Cause you're not allowed to talk, since you're a boy and everything.
Last time I checked.
What is it with men and talking? I'll rack up.
Try it! Just taste it.
I told you, I hired someone else.
I don't want a job.
I've got my own business.
Kane's Homemade Pies.
Only now I'M making the pies.
Come on.
Just try it.
Hey? Half a piece.
You look hungry.
So? It's good! It's better than good.
It's great.
Good riddance to Siobhan and her cheap, soulless pies.
Who? I'll bake you 10 a day.
I'll take five.
Seven.
Deal.
Well, how long did he say he was gonna be? Dunno.
Maybe he's busy.
Nah, he'll turn up, mate.
You might want to give him another call.
Haven't you harassed Ando enough for one day? What's it got to do with you? I'm his manager.
He asked me to come down.
He doesn't want anything to do with you.
Oh, yeah? Who told him to say that, I wonder.
Listen, mate, you can make out I'm the bad guy, but you're giving me way too much credit.
You think I've got the kind of power to get you kicked off that team? It's your so-called mates.
Ando, Rollsy, all of them.
They'd had it up to here with you.
Never turning up to training.
Screwing up.
Dragging their reputations down into the mud with you.
Yeah, let's go, mate.
Why do you think Ando doesn't want to have a beer with you? Huh? He and the others went to the club president and begged him.
Either you went or they did.
It was your own team who sacked you, mate.
Nothing to do with me.
I've got to go.
Got to get the boys from school.
Oh.
I suppose a kiss is out of the question? Yeah, go on.
Do it.
Do it! I've had better.
Did that go in? Not only talented, but you're funny too.
You're a funny guy.
You know, it felt kind of weird coming back here, you know, with me, you know, being your boss and you being my boss.
Oh, same.
I was stressing out.
But together, we are Gold together.
Platinum.
You taught me everything I know.
Oh, ssss! To us.
To us.
Mmm.
- Where did all the champagne go? - Mark? Uh uh, hi, Abi.
You've met Gabe.
Here.
The chief.
The fearless leader.
Hi.
I've been calling.
Why aren't you answering your phone? Who? Are you drunk? Um We've got show-and-tell at your child's school.
Oops.
I should go.
Alright! See you, buddy! Get up.
Come on, get up.
- Up, up, up, up! - OK.
Yeah, yeah.
I do the talking.
You say nothing.
Nothing? That, boys and girls, is why you should always wear a helmet when you're riding a bike.
Or a scooter.
Yep.
Thanks, Mark.
Or a skateboard.
OK.
That's it for today.
Thanks for having us, kids.
We're off.
Yes, Poppy? Daddy hasn't said what HE does.
Oh! You've got so much work to get back to.
It's Oh, no, it's fine.
Can you tell the kids what you do? He's in marketing.
Mark from marketing! OK.
Bye, everyone! Do you get it? Like, seriously! Oh, I'm sorry.
No, wait, look, I love what I do, even though nobody knows what it actually is.
Uh, my job is about it's about understanding an audience.
It's about knowing your market.
It's about understanding what people want and what people like.
And I think I might know what you like.
Hit it, Miss Nadir.
Hit what? The the button.
Shake that thing! Come on! Let's dance! Follow me! Here's the deal.
I get the girls from soccer.
He's all yours.
Did you start without us, mate? You should have seen me at school.
I was a hit.
Oh, dear.
Feed him only water.
Good luck.
Park yourself here, buddy.
Oh, they loved me, 'cause I'm the dancing man.
- Just drink your water, twinkle-toes.
- I'm the man.
Scored a new supplier.
Seven pies a day.
I'm back, baby.
Kane is back.
Someone's missing.
No, he's not coming.
What? What did you do? I didn't do anything.
It's Rodney's fault.
Does he know you're playing poker? Of course he knows we're playing poker.
He doesn't want to come.
Off you go.
I'm hungry.
Do you have any alcohol? Ignore him.
He got drunk at show-and-tell.
Did you do yours? Nah.
I'm not doing it.
Oh, you've got to do it.
You could do the hokey-pokey.
Yo.
Boo-ya.
Don't look at him like that.
He's a bigger man than you are.
Even if he did dance like a lunatic.
And even him with his ridiculous pies.
Much bigger man than you.
They were there today for their kids.
Where were you? I had nothing to bring.
Your kids don't care what you bring to show-and-tell.
They just want you to turn up.
He's right, actually.
You've got a court case in a month.
You still want to get shared custody? I helped you find your rabbit 'cause you said you wanted to fight.
So fight.
Is Daddy sick? Poppy, Poppy, darling, shh, please.
Director, colon, channel consumer and online marketing, beautiful father, sexy husband and master move-buster.
Whoa! I think I just got drunk.
What's 'drunk'? Eat your breakfast.
Hi, everyone.
Uh I'm Justin.
And my job is I'm a I'm a dad.
And I've brought this to show you.
This is Angie.
And Angie's favourite toy in the entire world is Here she is.
Bunny.
Now, Bunny went on a huge adventure the other day.
He caught a tram down St Kilda Road and wanted to go to the pub.
Uh no.
Wanted to get on at No.
No? The, uh to the fruit shop to buy some carrots.
Because bunnies love to see at night.
Well, finally, someone with some zing.
Mark, did you hear Gabriel's idea? No.
Won us the bank rebrand.
Have you heard of Happy Homework? You've got to get with the times.
It's all about homework.
I suggest you do some of your own.
She's asleep.
I'll put her down.
I heard you rolled on the house.
You know, I admire you.
Bothering.
You've got no chance of getting custody, yet you're carrying on with all this nonsense with Angie.
She's my daughter.
Yeah, well, you might think that.
But she won't.
Kids don't form memories till they're three years old.
You'll be long gone by then.
Boys, go to your room.
Quickly.
What have you done? One down.
Only 24 to go.
Shh! There's no-one on! The new Aussie series that's full of heart is also full of drama.
There's a rule-book that says there's only one way to cook and clean and look after your kids.
Written by women.
It's a set-up, cos I'm a bloke so I'm bound to fail.
Dad! How's my favourite daughter? You're not going to make a fortune baking pies.
Says who?! Why don't we talk about it before we make any decisions? You're the one that called him a cranky old Kane! As long as you can get up in the morning and feel like you're a real man.
Yeah, thanks for that, Noel.
So the quicker we get this done, the better it will be for everyone.
What do you want? Divorce papers.
If you just sign, we can sort the rest.
You need to get over your ex.
I am over her.
Well, clearly What? No.
No way! Do I have to take him to a fancy restaurant or can I do it over a spag bol in my good slippers? Come here! I think you're just playing hard to get, Lewis.
It was a bit of fun! I heard you were up for that.
Kylie Wren called.
Australia's new hit drama is full of surprises.
Will you promote me to husband?