How to Rock (2012) s01e02 Episode Script

Yes, yes, yes! I just blew up the King pig.
Are you kidding me? I blew up the King pig an hour ago.
Hey, your King pig was weak, okay? My King pig could shoot fireballs out of his snout.
Gross.
What? I just stepped in somebody's old pizza.
Oh, hey, that's mine.
Toss me a slice.
Did you hear what I said? I just stepped in it.
And did you hear what I said? Toss me a slice.
You fools are so obsessed with your stupid bird game.
You don't see how disgusting this place is.
It's not a stupid bird game.
It's furious pigeons, And I just laid a silver egg, So in your face.
Both girls have really good qualities.
Marty's my style, but Nina's really into my hair.
Which one should I invite to our gig tomorrow? Definitely.
Definitely what? I totally agree.
With what? Which girl should I ask? Uh Follow your heart? She wasn't listening, Zander.
As usual, thumbelina was lost in her phone.
Okay, that is completely untrue.
I am totally Your obsessed with your phone.
Nailed it.
Me? You guys are the ones obsessed.
With that video game.
We are not I just laid a silver egg.
You've been sitting in a burrito.
I want it.
That's my burrito.
He's had his butt on it.
He's wearing shorts.
Guys, this place is gross.
We're supposed to be playing a gig in here tomorrow, And somebody has got to Kacey's right.
This place has to look good when we play here tomorrow.
I know I'm gonna look good.
Wow, I look good now.
You think we're obsessed? What about Johnny handsome over there? It's no wonder this place is a dump.
All four of you idiots.
Are completely obsessed with something.
What about you? I think that you're a little obsessed with slamming people.
In the long history of dumb things you've said, That has got to be the dumbest.
Like that.
I may have a problem.
Okay.
I've got an idea.
Raise your hand if you want to clean this place.
Mm-hmm.
I say we make a bet.
Whoever can go the longest without our obsession Me without my phone, These two without playing furious pigeons, Zander without checking himself out, Stevie without slamming people Can sit back and relax.
While everybody else cleans this dump.
Interesting.
Love it.
Let's do it.
Bet? Hang on.
No! Bet? Bet.
Only You Can Be You only I can be me you always want to be what you're not can't you be happy with what you've got? you're perfect the way you are with your insecurities, doubts, and scars life's too short to worry don't you know it's true Only You Can Be You only I can be me Only You Can Be You only I can be me Only You Can Be You only I can be me Only You Can Be You only I can be me I can be me .
Hello, Tony Cardella.
If he were my date for our show tomorrow, That would be h-o-t-t, hot.
The extra "t" is for "that boy is hot.
" Oh, you've got a text.
I don't care.
Don't you want to answer it? It's probably really important.
I can't use you right now, baby.
But we will be back together as soon as I win this bet.
If I could have you split up into groups of three.
And decide on your experiments.
Hey.
I've got room over here.
Yeah.
Sorry, Andy.
You know what, Andy.
I will be in your group.
Thank you.
Wait, what about me? I thought we were partners.
He already asked two people.
Looks like The Perfs need a third.
You wouldn't do that to me.
Stevie, you mind joining a group? Hmm.
Lab partners with The Perfs, And you can't slam them.
Good luck with that.
I am so winning this bet.
Al right, let's just get through this.
Oh, no, no, no.
If you're gonna be partners with us, You have to match.
No, no, no.
Mm-mm.
Yay! So what do you want to do for our experiment? Nothing that's messy, sticky, smelly, gross, Or puts my manicure in danger.
And nothing with chemicals.
They are so bad for you.
Omg, Stevie.
Look at you.
So perf.
Do you love it? I love it.
This version of furious pigeons Is just as fun as the real version of furious pigeons.
Yeah.
This is awful.
This is not like furious pigeons.
So, mina, I play guitar.
Really? I love guitar.
My band and I are having a show tomorrow.
You should come.
You realize if we get Zander to look in a mirror, We'll be one step closer to winning that bet, And we can watch him clean that room.
While we play furious pigeons.
Are you suggesting we take down.
Our dear but vain friend? I love being joined at the brain.
Let's do this.
I'd love to come check out your band.
Hey.
No? You don't want me to come see your band? No.
I mean, yes.
I really want you to come see my band.
Awesome.
So what's it called? It's called, uh It's called, uh Oh, it's it's called Oh, it's called where is it? Where is the gunk on my face? Nina? So your chemistry experiment.
Was to mix shampoo and conditioner? Shampoo has chemicals in it.
- Can you name one? - Bubbles! So, Stevie.
What do you think of your new palsy-walsies? I think they're awesome.
They know how to make bubbles.
Okay, well, I'll leave you all.
To get to know each other better.
You're being nice.
I'm not buying it.
Why don't we get back to our bubble making? Good idea, loserberry.
Thanks.
I thought it was.
Hmm.
Your band is terrible, And you dress like a trucker, loserberry.
Thank you so much for the constructive criticism.
Okay, Kacey stuck you with us, And you're being incredibly nice.
It's creeping me out.
Fine.
If Kacey's playing dirty to win the bet, Why shouldn't I? What's the bet? I had to give up slamming people, And Kacey can't use her cell phone.
Oh, that must be killing her.
It is.
But I could really use your help to break her.
And why would I use my powers of evil to help you? Loser has to clean up the band room, So you would see Kacey knee-deep in garbage.
Then we're happy to help.
It feels so good to give.
Yay, us! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
Tony, hi.
Kacey Simon, you know who she is? Who doesn't? She really likes you.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna go talk to her.
You could talk to her, But texting is way more romantic.
She can stare at it in class, show it to her friends.
I love getting texts from guys.
It's like, "boop-boop!" Ooh! Okay, I'll text her later.
Nicely done.
Kacey is so gonna lose this bet.
Remember, I'm not doing this because I like you.
I'm doing it because I hate her.
Understood.
Perf power? No.
Kacey, do I have anything on my face? Why don't you look in a mirror? 'cause I'm not gonna lose the bet.
Just tell me, please.
You have a little Hang on.
Here, let me help you with that.
Thank you.
What are friends for? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, yeah.
You're good.
No, I'm the best, And guess what, I saw Andy Bartlet playing furious pigeons, And at level 48, you get a golden pigeon.
With laser eyes.
She is the best.
I'm going over I'm falling free don't care if no one's ever there to catch me I'll close my eyes and I'm gonna let it be I'm gonna go with gravity go with gravity .
Sounds good, guys.
Whoo! Oh, look, I just got a text.
It says furious pigeons 3.
0.
Is now available for download.
Uh, Kevin? You look a little jittery.
I'm cool.
I can work through it.
We've got cats! Now I am not eating that pizza.
Are you trying to look at yourself in a cymbal? No.
Guys, can we just keep rehearsing? We've got a lot of people coming here tomorrow, So we need to look good, and we need to sound good, And you guys are all just being super pathe text! Oh.
It's from Tony Cardella.
You know, mister h-o-t-t hot.
Actually, you know, it's cool, Because sometimes playing hard to get.
Just makes them want you more.
Or makes them forget about you.
Oh! Come on, guys, let's rehearse.
I don't know about you, But I have my image to maintain.
No way Tony Cardella is gonna forget about me.
Ooh, is that a text from Tony Cardella? He is so gorge.
Looks like he's come down with a little case of the kaceys.
You think? I don't care.
You'll never know.
If you don't check your texts.
Be strong, Kacey Simon.
be strong, Kacey Simon be strong, Kacey .
Hey, Kacey.
Tony.
'sup? You get my text? Absolutely I did.
So I'll see you there at 3:00 then.
Totally.
And remind me.
You said that we would meet at the Oh, time for class.
Come on, Tony.
Spanish.
Andale! Wait.
Come back! Molly y tony son muy caliente.
That's Spanish for very caliente.
Okay, I have two hours to win this bet.
Thank you.
This invention has got to satisfy our need.
For furious pigeons.
I hope so, 'cause I really need to play.
And do not want to clean that room.
Are you ready, bro? Live-action furious pigeons! Furious pigeons! Did you see that? I know have something on my face.
Tell me what I have on my face! What's wrong, Zander? Need this? Yes.
I don't care anymore.
You win, I lose.
That's what everyone was laughing about.
It's a mustache.
Get over it.
One down, three to go.
Hey, Stevie.
Your bass playing sounds like a cow dying.
Aww, you're trying to get me to lose the bet.
Bless your honeysuckle heart.
Dang it! You know what, No bet is worth missing out on Tony Cardella.
No.
I am giving up, And I'm gonna text him.
Ah! Cat.
That was not a Cat.
I think it ate the Cat.
You know what, I changed my mind.
There is no way that I'm cleaning this room.
How are we gonna get out of here? I'll throw it a donut.
Whoo! Okay, I think we lost it.
Zander.
I have the most important text of my life on my phone.
But you can't read it.
No, but you can.
No hard feelings, right? No, Kacey, very hard feelings.
Thanks to you, I spent the whole day hitting on girls.
Looking like an insane pirate.
With a mascara mustache on my face.
So are you gonna help me or not? Not.
Fine.
Then I'll just have to break Kevin and Nelson.
Furious pigeons! Good luck with that.
So I'm guessing you two are responsible.
For catapulting Andy Bartlet halfway across the school.
He made it halfway across the school? Level up! What exactly is this? - Live-action furious pigeons.
If I ever see this contraption again, It'll be detention for a month.
But what do we do now? We have no way to satisfy.
Our furious pigeon needs.
We've got to be strong.
Hello, boys.
Looking for these? And then there was Stevie.
I'm running out of time.
Don't let me down, Andy.
Go make me proud.
And a little nauseous.
I'm going in.
May I help you? Just warming up my instrument.
That was unusual.
A woman of more discerning tastes.
I get it.
May I present the jackknife.
Very creative.
Saving it for the finale.
I salute you.
Ladies and gentlemen, Boys and girls, May I present to you the eighth wonder of the world.
The sprinkler.
Oh, come on! Nothing? You've got to be kidding me.
I have four brothers.
- And they stink like that? - Yep.
Kacey, isn't time for your big date with Tony Cardella? Yes, it is.
Shouldn't you check your phone, Find out where you're meeting him? Oh, well, I think we both know I can't do that.
Hey, you know what, I can.
I think I'll text him.
No, please don't, Molly.
I'd hate to see a hottie like Tony all alone.
Molly, I know I asked for your help, But it's enough.
You can stop now.
Hmm.
It sounds like one friend.
Is asking another friend for a favor, But, oh, guess what, We're not friends, And making Kacey squirm is way too much fun.
"hi, Tony.
"smiley face.
"it's me, Molly.
Winkey smiley face.
" I'm serious, Molly, that's enough.
And send.
Molly, you are the most evil person I have ever met.
It's like somewhere out there, There's a place with no evil in it, Because you're hogging it all.
Um, I'm not an expert in slamming people, But I'm pretty sure you just lost the bet.
I don't care about a stupid bet.
I'm not gonna sit here.
And watch you treat my friend like that.
Oh, and, Andy, that's not a burp.
That's a burp.
Marry me.
Go now.
Well, I am just so touched.
By the love between you two besties.
It doesn't matter, though.
It's after 3:00, Kacey.
You've already blown off Tony Cardella.
Ciao for now.
Stevie, you really shouldn't have done that, But I appreciate you sticking up for me, And I'm gonna help you guys clean the room.
Yes, you will.
But check your stupid phone.
See if you can still make it.
He said he wants to meet me on the other side of school.
I'll never make it in time.
Need to get across campus in a hurry? We're just the men you're looking for.
Prepare to travel furious pigeon style.
- Caw-caw! Hey, Tony.
Kacey.
Where did you come from? Oh, you know, just around.
You want to go get smoothies at the mall? You know I do.
Oh, shoot, I forgot my purse.
Thanks, guys! You should come to my gig tomorrow.
I'm going over I'm falling free don't care if no one's ever there to catch me I'll close my eyes and I'm gonna let it be I'm gonna go with gravity go with gravity maybe I should trust maybe this is fate it's okay to fall 'cause I will get back up again I'm going over I'm falling free don't care if no one's ever there to catch me I'm going over I'm falling free don't care if no one's ever there to catch me I'll close my eyes closing my eyes and I'm gonna let it be I'm gonna go with gravity go with gravity .
So how we gonna get rid of the bags? I know how.
Furious garbage! Furious garbage! - Yeah, baby! - Okay! So then I was like, "Tony Cardella, I know that you like me, "But I just don't see how it's gonna work out between us.
" Look! A puppy! That is not a puppy!