How to Survive Being Single (2020) s01e02 Episode Script

The biggest fool of the week
was indisputably Sebastián Ybarra.
He made the biggest scene
at the premiere of DUMP3D.
Here's your dumped, bastards!
Nobody remembered Sebastián Ybarra,
much less now after he broke up
with Lucía Gamero.
Sebastián, what the hell, man?
You've been here for three days.
You could at least go
to the guest room.
No, I'm fine here.
At least take a shower.
You'll stink up my living room.
Fuck, man! What should I do?
What's wrong?
Yanet wants me to FaceTime
with her and her dog.
How can I tell her
that the dog committed suicide?
You're totally fucked.
-How are you anyway?
-I've never felt this way.
What am I gonna do?
Don't let it be her, don't let it be her.
Give me one second.
Hi, sweetie.
How's my baby?
Don't miss the chance
to say you love her.
-Even if you hate her.
-Come right in, Lorenza.
Holy shit, this is disgusting.
Pick up, man.
What part of "you have an audition"
didn't you understand?
I don't want consolation prizes.
Adán Farré is your ticket to Cannes!
I don't give a crap about Adán Farré,
Michel Franco or Felipe Cazals.
My ex-husband slept
with his pole-dancing teacher.
That's life.
You're young.
You're going to laugh about this later.
You could write a series no one
will watch, but at least you'll vent.
Go to your audition, get some air.
You smell like dick.
I'd say he smells more like ass.
HOW TO SURVIVE BEING SINGLE
What are you doing?
I just got out of the shower.
Send me a photo!
You first.
Yeah, sure.
Coming, coming!
Coming!
-Hey.
-I have something to tell you.
Were you busy?
You have to swear
you won't tell anyone.
You're fucking with me!
No fucking way, no! No fucking way, man!
-When are you giving it to her?
-I don't know.
After what happened
with Sebas and Lucía
What do Sebastián and Lucía have to do
with you and Mafer?
This could go either way.
Like an Alejandro Fernández concert.
He throws up in the middle
and you already paid.
-Do you want to marry Mafer?
-Absolutely.
Does she want to marry you?
She does this thing
when she signs documents,
-she actually uses my last name.
-Yeah! Don't even think about it.
-You and Mafer were born--
-Fuck, yeah!
Fuck, yeah, I found him!
I know how they feel when I don't go
to the strip club for two days!
We have a meeting,
where the hell are you?
-That's in 4.5 hours.
-Exactly, dude.
Coming.
Who's my boy?
Who's my boy?
-Did you wink at me?
-No.
-Sure?
-Positive.
Close the door, please.
-Sure?
-Yeah.
Or shall I leave it open?
Shut it, please.
I'm coming!
You first.
You think watching
lesbian porn makes you a feminist?
It's not feminism
if one of the women wears a strap-on.
-What's up, Lu? How are you?
-You can imagine.
Do you know how Sebas is?
Well, he's obviously upset.
I'm still waiting!
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.
What's wrong?
There's an issue at the office.
I'll call you later.
No, Fab.
Let's meet this afternoon.
All right?
Stop fucking with me!
But when I tried to open it,
she had already deleted it.
I'm on the line with tech support,
trying to recover it.
It was obviously a mistake.
She'd never send you a photo of her boobs.
It's obviously one
of her twisted psychological experiments.
-You know her.
-Yeah, I do!
Fabiana would die before fucking you.
It was a mistake.
But her subconscious, Fish
-wants something else.
-Sir, are you still there?
Yes, I'm still holding, miss.
We can't do that.
I can send to you the terms of--
What the fuck is technical support for?
You don't have to be rude.
I will have to file a complaint.
Sorry, miss. I'm sorry.
-Can you put me through to another area?
-What other area?
I don't know.
The "nudes" division?
There are other career paths out there.
Are you Héctor?
What's this movie about again?
About winning film festivals.
The story doesn't matter.
Lorenza, look.
I'm not the type for Farré movies.
He follows the vibe,
he couldn't care less about talent.
-I'm gonna do terrible today.
-Listen.
Don't forget to call me
when you get out of the audition.
Aren't you gonna wait for me?
I have actors
who do generate money for me.
Humberto?
Sebastián Ybarra.
-Me.
-Go on, dear.
Maybe you want me
to do something more
humane.
-That's up to you to figure out.
-Yes, of course.
I did the egg exercise you asked me to.
But it's also humanoid
On your mark.
Hi, Sebas.
On my mark, sir.
Action!
We're nothing but wires and circuits
connected by inert fibers.
We have neural evolution.
The line separating us
from what's human is getting thinner.
We behave like humans,
but we don't feel like them.
What good is smiling
when I don't know what happiness is?
But you don't know the sadness
and grief of the old world.
They consider us inferior
because we don't have souls.
But they forget that they sold theirs
to create us.
They're not loyal to us.
They're not loyal to us.
They tricked us.
They abandoned us
they betrayed us,
they humiliated us on national TV
and they expect us to act
as if nothing happened?
I'm sorry. I can't do this,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
-Can I leave my mark, sir?
-Go on.
-How'd it go, Sebastián?
-How do you think?
I made a fool of myself,
like at the DUMP3D premiere.
Really, man?
Holy shit!
Hi, buddy. Is this the way
"straight to your heart"?
I'm joking.
You see, my cousin is dying
to see the world smile.
Just kidding!
Actually, I'm selling cookies.
They're good, they're not bad.
They're not knock-offs.
Twenty pesos, but if you smile,
you can have them for free.
I mean, the cookies!
How many boxes?
Blanco. It's me, Sebastián.
We met at the acting workshop.
Sebastián! How are you?
It's so good to see you, dude.
You look terrible.
I guess you know what happened.
My life isn't great.
I don't. Sorry to hear it.
Why the fuck are you selling cookies?
It's for my support group.
-Great, you're finally in AA.
-No!
It's a place where they teach you
to be happy.
They don't judge you,
they listen to you.
-You look good.
-It's wonderful.
I learned more in three days there
than I did in three years of therapy.
-Really?
-Really.
-How much per session?
-A smile.
Just kidding!
You wanna come?
Everybody keeps looking at me,
it must be because of that video.
People think they can meddle
in your life.
I don't need that right now.
You guys turned your back on me.
Not everyone, obviously not you.
But the others did.
I didn't mean to hurt him,
I feel terrible.
Then why were you still together?
Out of habit,
we were used to each other.
He'd been complaining
about everything for a long time.
It's generally very hard
for a guy to accept
that his partner is more successful
than he is.
It's not his fault, it's cultural,
but it's wrong.
Yes, but I screwed up.
I screwed up.
I ruined everything.
I wish I could talk to him
and explain.
-Will you help me?
-No, not me.
I think you have to give him space,
at least for now.
I hope he doesn't do
anything stupid.
All of us have been cheated on
at some point.
Those things happen.
-Yeah.
-It didn't happen to me.
But it isn't just that.
My career is at an impasse.
I'm never called for a challenging role.
Actually
Thanks. Besides,
I haven't gotten any callbacks.
You're very handsome,
rest assured.
Thank you.
Sebastián Ybarra!
Welcome to the Temple of Smiles.
Christian Chávez?
Remember last time I saw you,
we were totally wasted on Belinda's yacht?
How could I forget?
It was one of the saddest times
of my life.
Really? I thought we had
a fucking good time.
Sedating yourselves with drugs and alcohol
just to smile is a good time?
-Well, if you put it that way
-Look.
Sebastián, I know exactly
why you're here.
I get it.
Consider this your home
and consider us your new family.
I can feel your broken heart.
The pieces are there.
-Can it be cured?
-Give me a week, it'll be as good as new.
Did you feel that?
Yes. Yes, I felt something, I think I did.
It's the magic touch.
Sorry, someone's calling.
We have two rules here, Sebastián.
You must smile, and the second rule is:
no cell phones allowed.
We love you, Sebastián!
What do you say?
Smi-, smi-, smile!
Sebas, Sebas, Sebas!
Yeah, guys.
She didn't even let me visit her.
Bummer, dude. She dumped me via text.
Well, you made her think
that her dog was still alive.
-Hemingway
-Poor dog.
I'm telling you,
I'm having the worst time.
The worst.
-I'm concerned for Sebastián.
-Me too.
I know, he's eating all my food.
Exactly. He swallowed everything, then
I went to the bathroom and it smelled.
-Come on, the guy's an adult.
-But we do have to worry, right?
-It's probably depression.
-What's up?
The most important thing is to smile.
Christian Chávez
from the RBD band?
Sebas, those self-help groups
are dangerous.
-Eventually they turn into cults.
-Crazy people.
Like in NXIVM.
Those fuckers.
Feeding off people's vulnerabilities,
existentialism and lactose intolerance.
-You're a perfect candidate.
-No, it's not self-help.
-Get this, it's group therapy.
-Stop fucking with me.
I thought you'd be happy for me, shitbags.
Of course we're happy.
Wouldn't real therapy be better
than a self-help group?
What do you know?
I hadn't felt good in days,
and you treat me like an idiot!
-Stop being so dramatic.
-You know what?
Fuck you.
-He's very sensitive.
-I would say he's very smiley.
-You screwed up, buddies.
-No, come on.
You screwed up.
This is important for Sebastián.
And it's not so far-fetched.
Darling, do you think they might wash
Sebastián's brain over there?
Honey, we all process pain
in different ways.
If that happened to us,
I wouldn't know how to react.
Yeah.
-That scares me too.
-What?
What if the same thing
happens to us?
Mafer, you're not Lucía
and I'm not Sebastián.
No, but what if you run off
with somebody else?
Why would I do that, Mafer?
As long as we communicate
and confide in each other, what for?
Okay.
What if I run off with someone?
-Is that what you want?
-I don't know, it depends.
-What's on your mind, Mafer?
-Nothing. You know what I mean.
Yes, but you and I are a team.
We make the best fusilli
al frutti di mare in Mexico.
-What can beat that?
-Nothing.
Exactly.
Sebas?
What's the deal
with the Temple of Smiles?
I want to join, dude.
Are you shitting me?
No. I'm not shitting you, I swear.
Ever since Yanet left me,
I can't fill the void with anything.
I wake up feeling sad.
This is fucking me up, man.
I don't want to feel like this,
I want to
smile.
Like you.
Come in.
Hi.
Fuck!
-Are you all right?
-Trouble with my credit card.
Where's Sebas?
I've been worried about.
They went out this morning.
I bet they're sucking up
to Christian Chávez
Fish too?
I have a bad feeling about this.
What should we do?
Gonzo.
Gonzo, fucker! Hey!
What should we do, what do you suggest?
Fish has my old cell phone
The next step is to let out all your pain.
Let's do an exercise.
Tell us your story again
but with a smile.
A smile. A smile.
A smile. All right?
-The same story?
-The same story.
Smile. Come on.
Let's hear it for Fish!
Well, a short time ago,
my girlfriend Yanet left me
because her doggy died on me.
TEMPLE OF SMILES
I feel life has no meaning.
-Thank you, Christian Chávez from RBD.
-Yes, yes, yes.
What is it I always tell you guys?
The only investment
that will make you rich
is investing in, what?
-The heart.
-The heart.
You don't only have to have
a smile on your face
but in your heart and soul too.
No tech support wants to help me.
I'm in a big hurry.
Can you hack WhatChat or not?
It'll cost you a pretty penny.
Look what I brought for you.
Video game cards.
Cool, right?
Shit! Those were expensive!
Five thousand dollars.
You're crazy! A 13-year-old
doesn't need 100,000 pesos.
Then go to a technology market
or call tech support.
-You'll figure something out.
-No, no! Wait a minute.
Let's negotiate.
I can give you 10,000 pesos cash
right now. On the spot.
One thousand dollars.
Why are you charging in dollars?
Okay.
You smile and I smile.
And nothing can stop this feeling
With optimism and a lot of love
This group is full of love
Smiles, smiles, smiles
Louder.
Smiles, smiles, smiles
Smiles, smiles, smiles
The Temple of Smiles!
Friends, I'm happy to see all of you.
We are here to sell you
these delicious cookies.
Over here, sir.
Thank you.
How many boxes, sir?
Thank you so much.
-Fucking shit!
-Hi, buddy!
-Is this the way "straight to your heart"?
-You were right, honey.
-Yeah.
-This is a sect.
See?
-It's like some kind of mission.
-I told you.
His eyes were empty.
He followed me everywhere like a zombie.
And his posture changed.
What?
That's amazing.
-You know what I was thinking?
-What?
That we can sell these
for three hugs and two smiles.
If nobody buys them,
we can always steal.
Hugs! Just kidding.
Fuck, yeah, man.
I was wondering,
why don't we say "I love you" more often?
I love you, Fish.
-I love you!
-I love you too, Fish.
What's up, guys?
I love you.
He said the cookies channeled energy.,
-No, they're not cookies.
-Yes, they are.
I bet they contain drugs.
Maybe scopolamine?
What's that?
Look at all the comments about them.
See? "The true Temple of Smiles."
Follow that link.
No fucking way.
No way.
What the fuck?
They're torturing him!
Are they burning him?
Not even cows are treated that way.
-Not even in Guantanamo.
-Not even Guantanamo
-Maybe there.
-You're right.
What's up? Why's it taking so long?
Because as you can see,
the Web is saturated
with terabytes and terabytes of tits.
My algorithm can't process them
any faster.
I'll wait, I'll wait.
Can't you jerk off
with a random picture of tits?
No, no, no. It has to be
that photo of Fabiana.
Hey, you're violating
your friend's privacy.
She deleted the photo
so you wouldn't see it.
What the fuck do you know
about privacy?
You're just a kid who doesn't know
anything about life or privacy!
The naked human body
is like a temple.
Every person has the right
to decide how to care for it.
Stop breaking my balls.
I bet you jerk off with photos
from the Internet.
I'm too young to watch pornography,
but I know that the people
who come out in those films
know they are showing
their temples.
"Their temples."
The price has to go up.
It's dangerous work, it's illegal
and I need a new controller.
You're fucked up! You're a swindler.
I've known you since
Give me my money,
I'll go somewhere else.
You even got a cheap therapy session.
And one day he went to the kitchen,
grabbed a knife
and chased me around
the entire house.
If he hadn't had that heart attack,
I would be the dead one.
Right, or I would have killed you.
That's what I'm saying, my friends.
All of you.
All the grief and sorrow you have
in your souls
you can get rid of,
simply by talking about it with a smile.
You see it from a new perspective, right?
Right, Sebastián, my friend?
Yes.
I just hung up with my doctor!
My cancer just metastasized!
Ambriz, the mic!
Sol, Sol, Sol!
Hello?
What's going on?
You said you'd call me after the audition.
I'm officially retired
from acting, Lorenza.
From now on,
I have other priorities in life.
That's too bad
because Adán called
to say that for some strange reason
he loved your audition
-and he wants you for the lead.
-You're shitting me.
When a door closes,
a window always opens.
As of now, I'm charging you
30 percent commission.
Yeah, fine.
It's all right, thanks.
Thanks, thanks.
Fucking!
What's up, Fish?
No cell phones allowed, friend.
Dude, guess what.
Adán Farré picked me for his film.
No cell phones allowed, friend.
I'm telling you,
I was just cast in Adán Farré's movie.
You can't use your cell phone, friend.
Whatever, I'll put it away.
Just don't tell Christian.
No.
Just kidding.
I knew it.
You're a preppy kid, Sebastián.
You don't follow the rules,
just another rebel.
Please. Let's talk about it.
All I see here, dear friends,
is that you're still anchored
to the past. Isn't he?
-No way.
-None of the teachings we've shared
have helped you.
Of course they've helped me.
I just need a little time.
But don't you worry.
Here, you will smile at any cost.
Stop shitting me. Fish!
-Stop it!
-Smile, smile, smile.
I'd never seen such an acute case
of brainwashing in my career.
-They're crazy.
-And I even had a Flat Earther patient.
Instead of listening,
we laughed at them.
They deserved it, for real.
But we isolated them.
-We have to go rescue them.
-Fine, let's go.
-Coming?
-Will you show me your tits?
You idiot.
Let's go.
You are the worst actor in the world.
I also fucked Lucía.
I hope you get cancer.
Tickle!
You fucking son of a bitch!
Leave me alone,
you crazy fucks!
What's so crazy about trying
to make people laugh?
You can't force people to laugh,
Christian Chávez.
Since when don't you feel anything?
No, no. No, no, no. You're strong souls
with smiles in your hearts.
-Smile! Laugh, laugh.
-No. Cry, cry. Listen to your feelings.
No, no, no.
In life, we have to feel things for real,
or else why are we here?
-We have to smile.
-Cry. Come on, cry. Feel it.
Sorrow is a part of life.
Laugh, don't believe a word he says.
Smile, damn it! Laughter fixes everything.
Cry. Please, cry.
This is a real moment,
There's no such thing as a magic cure
Sol! Sol, listen.
You have to process your cancer.
Smile, smile, Sol.
Martín, your dad tried to kill you, dude.
Your dad tried to kill you.
That is really fucked up.
-No, it's funny.
-No, it really was fucked up.
No, no, no.
Fish. Dude, your girl left you.
Both of us have broken hearts.
And maybe we're going to die alone.
The important thing is for you
to forget Yanet, man.
And for me to never see Lucía again.
Is that what you wanted?
That? That?
To destroy my family?
This isn't your family,
Christian Chávez.
We can't get stuck on the roles
we played in DUMP3D and RBD.
Yeah, man. Feel it.
It's normal.
So what if you don't fill stadiums
or if Dulce Maria doesn't invite you
to her wedding?
Even if she doesn't invite me
to her wedding
I won't let you destroy this.
-Feel it. Keep feeling it.
-We are leaving, Christian.
-No, don't, Martín. It's all we have.
-We are leaving!
Get me out of here, dude.
-You have to smile!
-Get me out of here.
-Let's go.
-Fish, Fish, Fish!
You must understand! Fish!
You smile, and I smile!
And nothing can stop this feeling!
With optimism!
The Temple of Smiles!
It's here.
-Why did you bring a bat, Gonzo?
-In case there's a fight.
-I still want to see your tits.
-This isn't the time.
We're not going to fight.
-No, we're going to dialogue.
-Who knows.
I brought some mace just in case.
-Stay away!
-Give us our friends back!
-Is it them?
-Yes, it's them.
What did they do to you? I'll beat
the shit out of Christian Chávez.
Sebastián, this is a sect!
Did they give you a potion?
We're fine.
We're fine.
They're sad.
-Sorry, sorry.
-Sorry for abandoning you
and not listening to you before.
Christian Chávez from RBD
is a bad guy.
He's not bad, he's just a rebel
who walks his own path.
-I don't remember, I hurt you? Forgive me.
-That's all right, Fish.
Come on.
Take us home, please, friends.
I want some stew.
Sure, we'll buy some.
Let's go.
I lost my role in a movie
for this bullshit.
This is bullshit!
I put the damn egg on my head
for four months!
-I'm truly sorry.
-You're sorry? You know what?
-I'm going to sue you!
-Go ahead.
-You'll pay for this!
-Please do.
Fucking idiot.
It's your fault,
isn't it, fucker?
Of course it is!
What the fuck?
Come in, Sebastián.
Welcome.
You've got to be kidding!
Creative Supervisor Rodrigo Toscano