I Heart Arlo (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

It's original ♪
Like me!
[opening theme music plays]
[Arlo] We all need
Someone to hold us up ♪
To help us on
We make each other better ♪
Though the world's not always right
Tough times, they can make us strong ♪
We all belong
We're beautiful together ♪
We're beautiful together ♪
- [static crackles]
- [hip hop music plays]
[seagulls squawking]
New York! Feast your eyes on the future.
You may think of it
as a thing of the past,
a condemned pier inhabited by miscreants
and unnaturally strong seabirds.
Wrong! We're fixing it up. Check it out.
We've got sidewalks and windows
and the aforementioned seabirds.
Hey! That ain't yours!
So come join us and together, we'll
[all] Restore and renew!
[gasps] Uh
- Line?
- "Seaside by the Seashore!"
- [chuckles] Yeah, I got it now.
- [all] Restore and renew!
And renew and restore! Oops.
[all] Restore and renew!
Uptown New York!
- [all sigh]
- No, wait!
[all wearily] Restore and renew.
In Seaside by the Seash
- Hey, Arlo. Your dad's on the phone.
- [all grumbling]
- See if I ever do you a favor again!
- [ringing]
- Phone for me?
- Yeah. Your dad.
- [whip crack]
- [screams] Whoa!
[Ansel] Arlo, my dude!
How's the restoration
of my old neighborhood going?
- Great!
- That's wonderful!
- Because I'm on my way now to see it!
- Whoo!
To make sure it's suitable for when
the mayor of New York arrives later.
The mayor?
Turns out you're
supposed to tell the mayor
when you're going to do
a massive project like this.
So now she wants a tour.
And if she's not impressed,
well, Seaside's getting condemned.
Condemned?
Another espresso, sir?
- Mm-hmm.
- Ooh!
Don't worry. I have a plan.
Arlo, make sure you
[machine rattling loudly]
- Like me!
- [machine whooshing]
Sorry, sir. Almost done!
[chuckles softly]
So anyway,
politicians love seeing things like
- [machine rattling, whistling]
- Oh! Stop!
- No!
- Arlo
- Dad?
- [whistling continues]
Dad! Can you repeat that?
- [deckhand groans uncertainly]
- [thud, ding]
[air hissing]
- All done, sir.
- Excellent.
- Dad?
- Great chat. Make me proud.
No, wait!
[Arlo crashes]
- I'm sorry! My bad!
- [man] Walkin' here!
[all] Shut down permanently?
Don't worry. We just have to wow her!
By doing what?
Well, my dad said we should
[imitates espresso machine]
like me.
Which I think he wants us to, to, um
impress the mayor like he would.
I could cook up a pizza meal so elegant
we could serve it to a king!
- Maybe a rat king.
- You don't know what you're talking about!
My pizza is only appreciated
by the finest of palates!
- [seagull shrieks]
- Ah! Ah Got it! Ah!
[glass shattering]
Yeah, this is a fancy person's nightmare.
But I like how we are now.
I know. I do too, but we gotta
get in with the rest of New York.
Who knows? Maybe we'll
come out of this better than before.
Let's do it to save our home.
For Seaside!
- For Seaside!
- [Marcellus] Cash!
Help! Help! I can't let go!
Its strength is otherworldly!
[window shatters]
- Pizzeria needs the most work.
- [Bertie] Super gross.
Definitely.
[upbeat music plays]
[Tony] I tell ya,
nothing says luxury like gold paint!
And nothing says opulence
like a living rug.
[bear huffs]
[birds chirping excitedly]
I hope Dad thinks these changes
are fancy enough for the mayor.
The pizza shop's still so far behind!
Gimme some of that vegan pizza, quick!
It's like cement! I love it!
With these fancy rims
and these fancy grills
- [twinkles]
- [cat yowls]
they'll be so impressed,
they won't notice the pizza shop.
- [ship horn blasts]
- [gasps]
[ship bell ringing]
Ahoy!
[laughs]
Ooh!
[sighs] Nothing beats that Seaside air!
Gimme some love!
[Arlo chuckling]
Hmm.
[chuckles nervously] No time to waste!
The mayor will arrive
by helicopter any minute now.
Would it be possible for me to get
a sneak peek before she shows up, cowboy?
No, that doesn't sound right.
What about pumpkin?
- [splashing]
- Hmm?
[eerie music plays]
[jarring note plays]
Okay, not pumpkin.
Let's go!
And here will be
our very fancy shoe store!
And over there will be
our very fancy diamond store!
And this is our glitter flower stand!
Are these fake?
- Yes! They will outlive us all!
- [chuckles proudly]
[Bertie] Ahem.
Mayhaps you'd like a drink, good sir?
Mm-hmm?
[chuckles haughtily]
Have you tasted that
new stock market lately, Marcellus?
Yes.
I can't believe
how comfortable I already feel here.
Golden turmeric latte?
It's served in a vintage
golden cowboy boot
once worn by the only cowboy
outlawed in all 50 states.
Don't mind if I do.
Quite.
Ol' Bessie!
[Arlo] Look at me! I'm a desperado!
[dreamy music plays]
We haven't gotten to this yet.
Don't worry.
We'll turn it into high-end
nap pods for Swedish businesswomen!
Brilliant idea, son.
It's just the kind
of upscale change I love.
Well done.
But
I'll miss the Ol' Bessie wheel.
[helicopter approaching]
[solemn music playing]
- How was your flight, Mayor Elena?
- Whoo!
Can't say I needed a ride
in a golden helicopter,
but now I've been in one.
Fabulous, right?
Yes, but I also like trains, buses, taxis.
You know, things that stay on the ground?
Oh. [chuckles] Duly noted.
Mayor Elena, ma'am. It is an honor.
[chuckles]
Oh, you don't have to do that.
Although I did like it.
Wait until you see what we've done.
Do you want to see the diamond store?
- Diamonds?
- Or our exotic bean coffee cart first?
- [elegant music plays]
- [Bertie] Hmm! Hmm?
Exotic beans? No.
What I want right now is
[sniffs] Oh, yeah!
[sniffs]
Now that is some authentic
[sniffs]
New York pizza!
[hip hop music plays]
- [seagulls squawk]
- [Elena] Mmm!
- Uh, it's not ready yet!
- Smells ready to me! [laughs]
Aren't you curious
about our immortal flowers?
[door creaking]
[door crashes]
[sniffing deeply]
- No, stop, don't go in there.
- [Alia] Mayor Elena!
I have a pitch
about lowering the legal driving age!
What are you doing?
Work like your entire existence
depends on it!
Ah! She's coming! If we don't hurry,
she's gonna shut Seaside down for sure!
[whimpers] This threat
just became way more existential.
- [Elena] Sorry, can I
- No!
- Ooh!
- [chuckles]
Anyway, what do you think
of the changes we made to Seaside?
I can't say it's what I expected.
But I am looking forward to a nice,
greasy, ooey-gooey slice of pizza!
I'm tired of places that think
they can reinvent a classic.
Oh, yeah, totally.
- Madame! Welcome to Antoine's Flambe.
- [elegant music plays]
Your table is a-ready.
Oh, boy.
Pizza, what does it mean?
Sure, by definition,
a slice of pie. Boring.
But what does it mean to you?
Maybe the taste of summer
when you were seven.
Your first date with your true love!
The catering at your uncle's funeral?
- I give you the Memory of Pizza!
- [Ansel gasps]
- [whooshing]
- [Arlo gasps]
[ghostly voice] Pizza!
Wow!
Yeesh!
Is this situation even edible?
[deflating]
I was thinking more actual pizza.
We can whip that up, no prob!
Furlecia, meet me in back.
Wait! We haven't even tried it yet!
You heard her!
Let's make a normal pizza.
- [Arlo] No, stay!
- Furlecia, go!
- [Arlo] Stay.
- [Tony] Go!
[Arlo] Stay!
- [screams]
- [clattering]
Okay, sorry, what am I doing?
- My wig! Oh! The hot!
- [fire alarm ringing]
[blowing] Whoa, whoa
[yelps]
Oh, the humanity!
- Ooh! Ooh!
- [screams] No! Ah!
Oh, my goodness! Are you okay?
My wig!
[screaming panickedly]
- Ansel, what is going on?
- Um
Nobody look at me! I'm bald!
Furlecia!
[screaming]
Furlecia, you still have
all your natural hair!
Huh? Oh!
Look at that!
I guess everything's hunky do
No!
[Arlo continues screaming]
[wails]
Actually, it feels kinda like a jacuzzi.
[Arlo groans]
Okay, what is all this?
I'm sorry, Madam Mayor.
We're not really fancy.
Or rich. This is us.
And if you're gonna condemn us for it,
just do it quick.
- Oh. Who said anything about condemning?
- My dad.
[chuckles nervously]
I tend to catastrophize.
Let's listen less to the bird man
with the golden helicopter.
I didn't become mayor
by pretending to be something I'm not.
- Really?
- Authenticity's the best part of New York.
It's the best part of Seaside too.
Look at this bizarre fountain.
Is it art? Is it profane? Who knows?
Don't hide what's unique about Seaside.
- Let's celebrate it!
- Ooh!
[sing-song] We can throw a block party!
I love it!
We'll have local musical acts, catering
Oh! We can call it
the Un-condemning Party!
I amaze myself. I am bad!
- I look forward to working with you.
- Yes! Me too!
- [cheering]
- [Tony] We can do it our way!
Is that fancy enough for you, Dad?
Fancy? Lil' buddy Uh, not lil' buddy.
Arlo, where did you get
the idea that I'm fancy?
Good sir, this memory of pizza
has been infused with essence
of diamond, caviar and inherited wealth.
That's three things
fancy people like me love!
Okay, now I'm hearing it.
I may be fancy, Arlo,
- but you don't have to be to impress me.
- [yelps]
You're doing a great job
of that being yourself.
I'm proud of you.
[gasps]
- [Arlo grunting softly]
- [chuckles softly]
Well, kiddo Ugh, definitely not kiddo.
You've got a lot of work ahead of you.
- [seagull shrieks]
- [alarm ringing]
Yeah, we do,
but I couldn't ask for a better
team of friends to help pull it off.
Hold on. I didn't agree to this.
Fair enough.
[both chuckle]
[static crackles]
- [videobeeping]
- [hip hop music plays]
[all] Restore and renew!
[both] In Seaside by the Seashore!
[dolphin chirps]
[alarm blaring, ringing]
We'll get it eventually.
[closing theme music plays]