I Rock (2010) s01e02 Episode Script
The Clash
(GUITAR AMP HUMS) (POWER CHORD PLAYS) (GIRLS CHATTER) So you live in the same house, play in the same band, now you work at the same cafe.
We do everything together.
We're like sisters who fuck.
OK, so obviously Comet playing for both bands could cause some clashes.
So I've put together a little spreadsheet of our rehearsal schedule.
Jasper! This is beautiful.
Yeah, well, have a look, and if there are any overlaps, feel free - we'll make some adjustments.
I can tell you right now - we'll be rehearsing like mofos this month.
Yeah, finding the 'on' switch on a sampler can be tricky.
We've got Battle of the Bands this month, and the winner goes to Splendour in the Grass.
Oh, they know - they entered three years ago.
Yeah, and it was a really great springboard for us, actually.
You came second runner-up, and how many major festivals have you played? Was it four or five? Cara, we haven't played any! (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS TINNILY) This competition's for new bands.
Unsigned bands.
I mean, who deserves a festival spot more than us? Jasper, who are we listening to? It's Laura Imbruglia.
She added us to MySpace today.
Yeah.
Well, thanks, Laura.
Cop this.
(MUSIC CHANGES) Boy Crazy Stacey is in the running.
We're entering 'Dressed to the Tens'? This is so lame - it's the same song we entered three years ago.
It's a good song and we're a shoo-in.
We've still gotta get top six to make the performance round.
How many other bands have entered? But unlike them, we have a following.
I mean, look at the top six so far.
Have you even heard of any of these Just them! (SINGS) I just figured out I'm not a prisoner I erased the doubt around the question ââ¢Âª Which side of the bars I'm on ââ¢Âª I wasn't sure till now.
ââ¢Âª Well, well, well.
Beth Orton and the Black Wiggle.
Mockery - how predictable.
You should know we're entering the comp as well.
Nash, the competition's for new bands.
Snap! Unsigned bands.
Double snap! I didn't think a band could enter twice.
It's totally fine.
I looked it up.
A, we've got a different line-up now.
An inferior line-up.
A better line-up.
And B, we were called The Menus back then.
Worst band name ever! It's better than Akimbo.
Actually, our band name is sung in a scale in the key of C.
(SINGS RISING NOTES) Ah-kim-bo.
('DRESSED TO THE TENS' PLAYS) Hey, we've raced to number 41.
Kanpai! Yeah! Hey! Oh, Nash Taylor! You don't know me, but I saw you guys play a few years ago.
This guy is the best drummer in the world.
You know the Wanton Boys? Tommy's just entered into a competition.
Yeah, we were doing pretty OK in the voting, but when I saw you guys entered, I was just like, "Whoa! We're never gonna beat them!" 'Cause you guys have been around for ages and ages and ages and ages.
I wouldn't say 'ages'.
Nash, you fuck.
The competition's for new bands.
Uh - unsigned bands.
If you can't handle the frypan, just go and switch your gas off.
Like OK.
Anyway, uh Turns out between Little Ponies rehearsals and shifts at Pinky's, Comet doesn't really have time for Boy Crazy Stacey this month.
Hey, that's unfair! Just check the schedule.
I think you'll find everything's in order.
(PHONE RINGS) What, Jasper? What? Jane? Hang on! (INTENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC) Jane's indisposed at the moment.
What the fuck is that noise? Japanese taiko drumming.
I find it helps one keep a rhythm.
(SIGHS) Did Jane tell the comp organisers we were using an old song? Why do you ask? Because we've been disqualified.
Surely it's not Jane's fault you broke the rules.
I knew it.
I knew it was you! And I never gave you permission to use a song I co-wrote.
They're my songs.
So in the three years we worked together, I contributed nothing? I remember you trying to turn every song into an eight-minute rock opera.
I'm sure you'll have no problem coming up with something new, then.
I won't.
Well, I'd best not let the fire go out, so to speak.
Yeah, well, you might wanna rethink this new sound you're pursuing with blog girl.
I mean, here you are, a classically trained musician, you're playing back-up to a weeping Martha Wainwright rip-off.
But I guess Jane wears the pants in this collaboration.
(PLAYS UKULELE) Boring! Let's go down to the pub and leave this to the Little Ponies and (SINGS) A-kim-bo.
Boysies, I've got a couple of ideas for the new song.
Fuck off.
We don't need you.
OK, I might just go Skype Abigail instead.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, Skype her brains out! (SINGS) My girl went back to London six months ago It's a good thing they invented internet vid-e O! Oi, you know who was good in this situation? Val.
You know, you'd do something, he'd say it was shit.
Then he'd do something, you'd say it was shitter.
At the end, we'd actually have something pretty good.
So, are we gonna audition for a new bass player or what? Shut up! You asked for my help, retard.
Stop being such a drummer.
You wanna do it by yourself? Fine.
I need to poo.
(TAIKO DRUMMING) (GIGGLES) See ya.
Yep.
Mmm, hey! Cara said you guys were busy.
I'm on a split shift.
You aren't angry at me, are you? Would have been nice to hear from you, that's all.
I know, there's just been so much going on, especially for Cara.
She doesn't really like to talk about it, but her mum's coming to town, and she hasn't come out to her yet.
Her mum can't tell? (SCOFFS) No.
Listen, do you wanna go for a drink somewhere? I need your help.
Please? (RASPS) I feel inspired, dude! (LAUGHS) This is how the Beatles got all their song ideas.
(LAUGHS) First time I got stoned, I quit school.
Best idea I ever had.
Didn't like school? Eugh, no.
It was like one big competition.
Plus, my science teacher kept threatening to kill himself if I didn't sleep with him.
Yeah, mine too.
(LAUGHS) Oh, crap! What? (WHISPERS) Whatever you do, don't look over there.
People are having a funeral over there.
No way! God, we are drunk and stoned at a funeral.
Don't look, it's (LAUGHS) Don't laugh, it's a funeral! They're goths! They sold us the joint 15 minutes ago! (KEY RATTLES IN LOCK) Jane! Jane! Jane? Nash, it's 2am.
Want some kebab? No.
It's delicious.
Tabouli, hummus tabouli.
Let me in.
You're drunk.
Since when has that been a problem? Did you tell the comp organisers we're using an old song? Yes.
Jane.
Jane! Nash, go to bed! (SINGS) And you had to fly away I am hoping that you'll return one special day Abigail, whoa-oh-oh-oh Whoa-oh-oh-oh, Abigail Whoa-oh-oh-oh, Abigail (GARBAGE TRUCK PASSES BY) (GRUNTS) (COUGHS) (HUMS TUNE) (SINGS SOFTLY) I tried and failed (SIGHS) Tried Tried to get Eugh! Ohh! Tried and failed Blew out the candle You're up early! Shh! Shh! You tried to pull grab the handle You (SINGS TENTATIVELY) You you You you Oi, no music before midday.
I've come up with something.
I'll show you what I've come up with.
You You you let You lit the candle I pull the handle And then when they try to stop us in our tracks Tried and failed Tried and failed Oh.
I'm a goddamn genius.
(SINGS IN MONOTONE) Rumbelina, thumbelina Rumbelina, thumbelina Rumbelin, thumbelin, bambelina Thumbelina, drumbelina I went to the theatre You guys sound awesome! Val's just setting up.
Did you say something to him? About what? Do you have any interest in going to Splendour or do you just wanna beat me? You guys have been together a week.
You're not gonna beat me.
(SCREECHES) Rock ya later! Ah, yee-ha! All I wanna do is play my songs in front of an audience.
I thought for once you might have supported me.
At least Val does that much.
I never knew you wrote songs.
A year ago, I asked you to help me put my poetry to music.
Do you remember what you told me? You said I'd be picking up where Jewel left off.
Actually, yeah.
It's coming back to me, sorry.
Val, can you be quiet for one minute? (SHOUTS) What? Hey, Nash, can I have a word, please? (DRONES) The Arrabiata Europe baiter Excuse me? It's called 'Abigail' and it sounds kinda similar.
I stole your song? No, I'm not saying you Sing it, then.
Nash, I Sing the song.
Like, if you're gonna accuse me of something, prove it.
(SINGS SHAKILY) I met you at the Christmas party Handing out hors d'oeuvres Working for a catering company I plucked up the nerve Please.
Please stop.
Please stop.
That is the cheesiest piece of shit I have ever heard and it sounds nothing like my song at all.
OK.
Well, let's just have a listen.
SONG: I saw it written on a headstone In yellow chalk OK, after listening to it, it doesn't sound like my song.
Unfortunately, this thrilling little conversation is completely pointless.
Voting closes tomorrow, and we're coming What's that say? ('ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW TODAY' BY THE CITY LIGHTS PLAYS) (SNORTS) Third place.
Sixth.
We're in too.
Yes! (KNOCK AT DOOR) (LAUGHS) Hi! It's Jane, is it? Congratulations! Whoo! And Boy Crazy Stacey! Whoo! (LAUGHS HAPPILY) Oh, my God! I can't believe Little Ponies came in first.
She's pretty.
I know.
She's a lesbian.
Bisexual, actually.
She's slept with boys before.
In the past.
I'm going back to bed.
Hello and welcome to the Battle of the Bands competition.
My name's Scott Dooley.
I'll be your host for tonight.
Tonight, the winning band gets to go to Splendour in the Grass to perform.
As well as that, they win this fantastic golden goat horns, which I think Where's Luke? He was here a second ago.
Been practising the song? One of our judges - if I can just embarrass her for a second.
Polite round of applause for Laura Imbruglia.
(APPLAUSE, CHEERING) If it isn't your girlfriend.
I think that's about enough from me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Wanton Boys.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey there! Thanks, everyone who voted for us.
Thanks a lot.
(BAND PLAYS MELODIC GUITAR INTRO) Annabel's house is on fire Annabel's house is on fire Annabel's house is on fire Annabel's house is on fire Ah-ah Ah-ah (APPLAUSE, WHISTLING) Why didn't I know about this? 'Cause I wanted to see your face when I was up on stage.
It was totally worth it.
Well, it's unprofessional, and Not that they're going to, but if they win, you're not going to Splendour with them.
Bullshit! If they win, I'm jumping ship, bitch.
(SINGS) Hey, you with your walkie-talkie You think you're cheating when you talk to me No time for a new suggestion You're on the list You get in for free Holy moly, got a big conundrum Want to stick it where it can't be seen Out of breath Your cheeks are blushing Take a break Tell me where you've been Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh, oh, here we go! That was great, Cara.
Whatever happens, you guys rocked.
Thanks, Jas.
Did your mum come tonight? Your mum came tonight! No, I just meant "Is she here?" My parents live 500 k's away and don't leave the house after dark.
I doubt the Battle of the Bands is gonna do the trick.
Told you she doesn't really like to talk about it.
Hey, Nash.
Nash! Um, you know that song I wrote for Abigail? Your masterpiece? Yeah.
Well, the thing is I kinda took the chord progression from a Laura Imbruglia song.
And kinda the melody as well.
How is that relevant, seeing as your song sounds nothing like mine? Well, it does sound a little bit like my song.
OK, this is the last time we're having this conversation.
I'm a songwriter.
I've written, like, a thousand songs.
I can play it for you if you Put it away.
Put it away.
My songs come from in here, OK? Unlike you, I don't need to steal to create.
So we're gonna go onstage, we're gonna do the song, and everyone, including Imbruglia, is going to fucking love it.
(APPLAUSE) Alright, let's keep it going! Amongst all the new faces, it's nice to see a couple of veterans - rock'n'roll journeymen, if you will.
Please, will you go absolutely American for Boy Crazy Stacey! (WILD CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Hey, we're gonna start with a bit of a poppy one.
This came to me in a dream the other night, actually.
Usually takes a bit more perspiration, but sometimes you just And we'll have EPs for sale at the back after the show, so (APPLAUSE) (BAND PLAYS MELODIC ROCK MUSIC) I saw it written on a headstone In yellow chalk You saw the keyhole in the trapdoor On our little walk You lit a candle I grabbed the handle We've both got places that we have to be Later on Smoke in my eyes I can't see anymore There goes that chance To even up the score Tried and failed Tried and failed, whoa (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Hope you were watching your girlfriend Imbruglia Ioving it.
Hey! So our little songwriting workshop paid off.
(LAUGHS) I thought so too.
You know, you are so much more rock than electro-pop.
Nash! What are you doing? Come on, I'm better than Cara.
I mean, our playing styles are more matched.
Like It's not a competition.
Everything's a competition.
(LAUGHS) Hey, is that (SINGS) Jane and Val I just think it's too much pressure for the first gig.
We needed more time to prepare.
Jane, I've been doing this for a lot longer than you.
We're not just 'ready'.
We're gonna usher in a revolution.
We're just not the same band that people voted for.
The mark of a quality act is evolution.
I didn't want to evolve.
I just wanted to play my songs! Oh, please.
This is no time for histrionics.
(SNIGGERS) Histrionics.
I'll have to go and start setting up.
I'll see you on stage.
Now you know what I put up with for three years.
This is so easy for you guys.
You've done it before.
LUKE: Oh, chin up, Humphries! Listen, we could stand here and tell you how much potential you've got, but, you know, it's beside the point.
The first gig - it's like having sex for the first time.
You know, it's this awful, drawn-out, humiliating process and you're just kinda glad you got it over with.
(GHOSTLY CHORAL MUSIC) (SPEAKS GIBBERISH) (GONG CLANGS TWICE) Go, Jane! They're gonna suck, aren't they? Yes, they are.
(ELECTRO-POP BEAT) (SINGS) The workers are coming home They're bringing you with them You look just like a child And that's the problem I just figured out I'm not a prisoner I erased the doubt around the question Which side of the bars I'm on I wasn't sure till now Every time you talk Sounds like a broken cage Every time you talk Nice little pep talk, Nashie.
Sounds like a turning page I just figured out I'm not a prisoner I erased the doubt around the question Which side of the bars I'm on It's a lot lighter than I thought it'd be.
Hey, what are you doing with that, punk? You're gonna break it.
Hey.
Hey! Don't lose this, for fuck's sake.
So you seriously only got together a few weeks ago? Oh, I've been kicking ideas around for years, but yeah.
(LAUGHS) It's only one festival.
It's fine.
Congratulations Akimbo! Oh, thanks! And thanks for the little talk - I might not have gone on otherwise.
(LAUGHS) Good.
Just remember, it's all uphill from here, though.
And this goes for all you new bands as well, like You know, songs come pretty easily when you're starting out, but it's funny - the longer you're around, the more you learn, the harder it is to create something that's really original.
Like, take it from someone who's been there for a few years - the journeyman.
(SINGS) He's a special one My mum's adopted son I will myself to early death today He is gone Everyone knows He's the sunshine in my world Pauly Tried and failed Tried and failed Whoa-oh-oh I knew I'd heard that song before! I thought you hated bubblegum pop chicks, Nashie.
Excuse me! Oh! Sorry, Laura.
It was Jasper's song in the first place.
He stole it, not me.
I thought it came to you in a dream.
Fuck! You know what? My version was better anyway.
(JASPER SINGS) Visa ran out And you had to go away I'm hopin' that you'll return one special day Abigail Abigail, whoa-oh-oh-oh Whoa-oh-oh-oh, Abigail Whoa-oh-oh-oh, Abigail Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Abigail.
We do everything together.
We're like sisters who fuck.
OK, so obviously Comet playing for both bands could cause some clashes.
So I've put together a little spreadsheet of our rehearsal schedule.
Jasper! This is beautiful.
Yeah, well, have a look, and if there are any overlaps, feel free - we'll make some adjustments.
I can tell you right now - we'll be rehearsing like mofos this month.
Yeah, finding the 'on' switch on a sampler can be tricky.
We've got Battle of the Bands this month, and the winner goes to Splendour in the Grass.
Oh, they know - they entered three years ago.
Yeah, and it was a really great springboard for us, actually.
You came second runner-up, and how many major festivals have you played? Was it four or five? Cara, we haven't played any! (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS TINNILY) This competition's for new bands.
Unsigned bands.
I mean, who deserves a festival spot more than us? Jasper, who are we listening to? It's Laura Imbruglia.
She added us to MySpace today.
Yeah.
Well, thanks, Laura.
Cop this.
(MUSIC CHANGES) Boy Crazy Stacey is in the running.
We're entering 'Dressed to the Tens'? This is so lame - it's the same song we entered three years ago.
It's a good song and we're a shoo-in.
We've still gotta get top six to make the performance round.
How many other bands have entered? But unlike them, we have a following.
I mean, look at the top six so far.
Have you even heard of any of these Just them! (SINGS) I just figured out I'm not a prisoner I erased the doubt around the question ââ¢Âª Which side of the bars I'm on ââ¢Âª I wasn't sure till now.
ââ¢Âª Well, well, well.
Beth Orton and the Black Wiggle.
Mockery - how predictable.
You should know we're entering the comp as well.
Nash, the competition's for new bands.
Snap! Unsigned bands.
Double snap! I didn't think a band could enter twice.
It's totally fine.
I looked it up.
A, we've got a different line-up now.
An inferior line-up.
A better line-up.
And B, we were called The Menus back then.
Worst band name ever! It's better than Akimbo.
Actually, our band name is sung in a scale in the key of C.
(SINGS RISING NOTES) Ah-kim-bo.
('DRESSED TO THE TENS' PLAYS) Hey, we've raced to number 41.
Kanpai! Yeah! Hey! Oh, Nash Taylor! You don't know me, but I saw you guys play a few years ago.
This guy is the best drummer in the world.
You know the Wanton Boys? Tommy's just entered into a competition.
Yeah, we were doing pretty OK in the voting, but when I saw you guys entered, I was just like, "Whoa! We're never gonna beat them!" 'Cause you guys have been around for ages and ages and ages and ages.
I wouldn't say 'ages'.
Nash, you fuck.
The competition's for new bands.
Uh - unsigned bands.
If you can't handle the frypan, just go and switch your gas off.
Like OK.
Anyway, uh Turns out between Little Ponies rehearsals and shifts at Pinky's, Comet doesn't really have time for Boy Crazy Stacey this month.
Hey, that's unfair! Just check the schedule.
I think you'll find everything's in order.
(PHONE RINGS) What, Jasper? What? Jane? Hang on! (INTENSE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC) Jane's indisposed at the moment.
What the fuck is that noise? Japanese taiko drumming.
I find it helps one keep a rhythm.
(SIGHS) Did Jane tell the comp organisers we were using an old song? Why do you ask? Because we've been disqualified.
Surely it's not Jane's fault you broke the rules.
I knew it.
I knew it was you! And I never gave you permission to use a song I co-wrote.
They're my songs.
So in the three years we worked together, I contributed nothing? I remember you trying to turn every song into an eight-minute rock opera.
I'm sure you'll have no problem coming up with something new, then.
I won't.
Well, I'd best not let the fire go out, so to speak.
Yeah, well, you might wanna rethink this new sound you're pursuing with blog girl.
I mean, here you are, a classically trained musician, you're playing back-up to a weeping Martha Wainwright rip-off.
But I guess Jane wears the pants in this collaboration.
(PLAYS UKULELE) Boring! Let's go down to the pub and leave this to the Little Ponies and (SINGS) A-kim-bo.
Boysies, I've got a couple of ideas for the new song.
Fuck off.
We don't need you.
OK, I might just go Skype Abigail instead.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, Skype her brains out! (SINGS) My girl went back to London six months ago It's a good thing they invented internet vid-e O! Oi, you know who was good in this situation? Val.
You know, you'd do something, he'd say it was shit.
Then he'd do something, you'd say it was shitter.
At the end, we'd actually have something pretty good.
So, are we gonna audition for a new bass player or what? Shut up! You asked for my help, retard.
Stop being such a drummer.
You wanna do it by yourself? Fine.
I need to poo.
(TAIKO DRUMMING) (GIGGLES) See ya.
Yep.
Mmm, hey! Cara said you guys were busy.
I'm on a split shift.
You aren't angry at me, are you? Would have been nice to hear from you, that's all.
I know, there's just been so much going on, especially for Cara.
She doesn't really like to talk about it, but her mum's coming to town, and she hasn't come out to her yet.
Her mum can't tell? (SCOFFS) No.
Listen, do you wanna go for a drink somewhere? I need your help.
Please? (RASPS) I feel inspired, dude! (LAUGHS) This is how the Beatles got all their song ideas.
(LAUGHS) First time I got stoned, I quit school.
Best idea I ever had.
Didn't like school? Eugh, no.
It was like one big competition.
Plus, my science teacher kept threatening to kill himself if I didn't sleep with him.
Yeah, mine too.
(LAUGHS) Oh, crap! What? (WHISPERS) Whatever you do, don't look over there.
People are having a funeral over there.
No way! God, we are drunk and stoned at a funeral.
Don't look, it's (LAUGHS) Don't laugh, it's a funeral! They're goths! They sold us the joint 15 minutes ago! (KEY RATTLES IN LOCK) Jane! Jane! Jane? Nash, it's 2am.
Want some kebab? No.
It's delicious.
Tabouli, hummus tabouli.
Let me in.
You're drunk.
Since when has that been a problem? Did you tell the comp organisers we're using an old song? Yes.
Jane.
Jane! Nash, go to bed! (SINGS) And you had to fly away I am hoping that you'll return one special day Abigail, whoa-oh-oh-oh Whoa-oh-oh-oh, Abigail Whoa-oh-oh-oh, Abigail (GARBAGE TRUCK PASSES BY) (GRUNTS) (COUGHS) (HUMS TUNE) (SINGS SOFTLY) I tried and failed (SIGHS) Tried Tried to get Eugh! Ohh! Tried and failed Blew out the candle You're up early! Shh! Shh! You tried to pull grab the handle You (SINGS TENTATIVELY) You you You you Oi, no music before midday.
I've come up with something.
I'll show you what I've come up with.
You You you let You lit the candle I pull the handle And then when they try to stop us in our tracks Tried and failed Tried and failed Oh.
I'm a goddamn genius.
(SINGS IN MONOTONE) Rumbelina, thumbelina Rumbelina, thumbelina Rumbelin, thumbelin, bambelina Thumbelina, drumbelina I went to the theatre You guys sound awesome! Val's just setting up.
Did you say something to him? About what? Do you have any interest in going to Splendour or do you just wanna beat me? You guys have been together a week.
You're not gonna beat me.
(SCREECHES) Rock ya later! Ah, yee-ha! All I wanna do is play my songs in front of an audience.
I thought for once you might have supported me.
At least Val does that much.
I never knew you wrote songs.
A year ago, I asked you to help me put my poetry to music.
Do you remember what you told me? You said I'd be picking up where Jewel left off.
Actually, yeah.
It's coming back to me, sorry.
Val, can you be quiet for one minute? (SHOUTS) What? Hey, Nash, can I have a word, please? (DRONES) The Arrabiata Europe baiter Excuse me? It's called 'Abigail' and it sounds kinda similar.
I stole your song? No, I'm not saying you Sing it, then.
Nash, I Sing the song.
Like, if you're gonna accuse me of something, prove it.
(SINGS SHAKILY) I met you at the Christmas party Handing out hors d'oeuvres Working for a catering company I plucked up the nerve Please.
Please stop.
Please stop.
That is the cheesiest piece of shit I have ever heard and it sounds nothing like my song at all.
OK.
Well, let's just have a listen.
SONG: I saw it written on a headstone In yellow chalk OK, after listening to it, it doesn't sound like my song.
Unfortunately, this thrilling little conversation is completely pointless.
Voting closes tomorrow, and we're coming What's that say? ('ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW TODAY' BY THE CITY LIGHTS PLAYS) (SNORTS) Third place.
Sixth.
We're in too.
Yes! (KNOCK AT DOOR) (LAUGHS) Hi! It's Jane, is it? Congratulations! Whoo! And Boy Crazy Stacey! Whoo! (LAUGHS HAPPILY) Oh, my God! I can't believe Little Ponies came in first.
She's pretty.
I know.
She's a lesbian.
Bisexual, actually.
She's slept with boys before.
In the past.
I'm going back to bed.
Hello and welcome to the Battle of the Bands competition.
My name's Scott Dooley.
I'll be your host for tonight.
Tonight, the winning band gets to go to Splendour in the Grass to perform.
As well as that, they win this fantastic golden goat horns, which I think Where's Luke? He was here a second ago.
Been practising the song? One of our judges - if I can just embarrass her for a second.
Polite round of applause for Laura Imbruglia.
(APPLAUSE, CHEERING) If it isn't your girlfriend.
I think that's about enough from me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Wanton Boys.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey there! Thanks, everyone who voted for us.
Thanks a lot.
(BAND PLAYS MELODIC GUITAR INTRO) Annabel's house is on fire Annabel's house is on fire Annabel's house is on fire Annabel's house is on fire Ah-ah Ah-ah (APPLAUSE, WHISTLING) Why didn't I know about this? 'Cause I wanted to see your face when I was up on stage.
It was totally worth it.
Well, it's unprofessional, and Not that they're going to, but if they win, you're not going to Splendour with them.
Bullshit! If they win, I'm jumping ship, bitch.
(SINGS) Hey, you with your walkie-talkie You think you're cheating when you talk to me No time for a new suggestion You're on the list You get in for free Holy moly, got a big conundrum Want to stick it where it can't be seen Out of breath Your cheeks are blushing Take a break Tell me where you've been Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh, oh, here we go! That was great, Cara.
Whatever happens, you guys rocked.
Thanks, Jas.
Did your mum come tonight? Your mum came tonight! No, I just meant "Is she here?" My parents live 500 k's away and don't leave the house after dark.
I doubt the Battle of the Bands is gonna do the trick.
Told you she doesn't really like to talk about it.
Hey, Nash.
Nash! Um, you know that song I wrote for Abigail? Your masterpiece? Yeah.
Well, the thing is I kinda took the chord progression from a Laura Imbruglia song.
And kinda the melody as well.
How is that relevant, seeing as your song sounds nothing like mine? Well, it does sound a little bit like my song.
OK, this is the last time we're having this conversation.
I'm a songwriter.
I've written, like, a thousand songs.
I can play it for you if you Put it away.
Put it away.
My songs come from in here, OK? Unlike you, I don't need to steal to create.
So we're gonna go onstage, we're gonna do the song, and everyone, including Imbruglia, is going to fucking love it.
(APPLAUSE) Alright, let's keep it going! Amongst all the new faces, it's nice to see a couple of veterans - rock'n'roll journeymen, if you will.
Please, will you go absolutely American for Boy Crazy Stacey! (WILD CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Hey, we're gonna start with a bit of a poppy one.
This came to me in a dream the other night, actually.
Usually takes a bit more perspiration, but sometimes you just And we'll have EPs for sale at the back after the show, so (APPLAUSE) (BAND PLAYS MELODIC ROCK MUSIC) I saw it written on a headstone In yellow chalk You saw the keyhole in the trapdoor On our little walk You lit a candle I grabbed the handle We've both got places that we have to be Later on Smoke in my eyes I can't see anymore There goes that chance To even up the score Tried and failed Tried and failed, whoa (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Hope you were watching your girlfriend Imbruglia Ioving it.
Hey! So our little songwriting workshop paid off.
(LAUGHS) I thought so too.
You know, you are so much more rock than electro-pop.
Nash! What are you doing? Come on, I'm better than Cara.
I mean, our playing styles are more matched.
Like It's not a competition.
Everything's a competition.
(LAUGHS) Hey, is that (SINGS) Jane and Val I just think it's too much pressure for the first gig.
We needed more time to prepare.
Jane, I've been doing this for a lot longer than you.
We're not just 'ready'.
We're gonna usher in a revolution.
We're just not the same band that people voted for.
The mark of a quality act is evolution.
I didn't want to evolve.
I just wanted to play my songs! Oh, please.
This is no time for histrionics.
(SNIGGERS) Histrionics.
I'll have to go and start setting up.
I'll see you on stage.
Now you know what I put up with for three years.
This is so easy for you guys.
You've done it before.
LUKE: Oh, chin up, Humphries! Listen, we could stand here and tell you how much potential you've got, but, you know, it's beside the point.
The first gig - it's like having sex for the first time.
You know, it's this awful, drawn-out, humiliating process and you're just kinda glad you got it over with.
(GHOSTLY CHORAL MUSIC) (SPEAKS GIBBERISH) (GONG CLANGS TWICE) Go, Jane! They're gonna suck, aren't they? Yes, they are.
(ELECTRO-POP BEAT) (SINGS) The workers are coming home They're bringing you with them You look just like a child And that's the problem I just figured out I'm not a prisoner I erased the doubt around the question Which side of the bars I'm on I wasn't sure till now Every time you talk Sounds like a broken cage Every time you talk Nice little pep talk, Nashie.
Sounds like a turning page I just figured out I'm not a prisoner I erased the doubt around the question Which side of the bars I'm on It's a lot lighter than I thought it'd be.
Hey, what are you doing with that, punk? You're gonna break it.
Hey.
Hey! Don't lose this, for fuck's sake.
So you seriously only got together a few weeks ago? Oh, I've been kicking ideas around for years, but yeah.
(LAUGHS) It's only one festival.
It's fine.
Congratulations Akimbo! Oh, thanks! And thanks for the little talk - I might not have gone on otherwise.
(LAUGHS) Good.
Just remember, it's all uphill from here, though.
And this goes for all you new bands as well, like You know, songs come pretty easily when you're starting out, but it's funny - the longer you're around, the more you learn, the harder it is to create something that's really original.
Like, take it from someone who's been there for a few years - the journeyman.
(SINGS) He's a special one My mum's adopted son I will myself to early death today He is gone Everyone knows He's the sunshine in my world Pauly Tried and failed Tried and failed Whoa-oh-oh I knew I'd heard that song before! I thought you hated bubblegum pop chicks, Nashie.
Excuse me! Oh! Sorry, Laura.
It was Jasper's song in the first place.
He stole it, not me.
I thought it came to you in a dream.
Fuck! You know what? My version was better anyway.
(JASPER SINGS) Visa ran out And you had to go away I'm hopin' that you'll return one special day Abigail Abigail, whoa-oh-oh-oh Whoa-oh-oh-oh, Abigail Whoa-oh-oh-oh, Abigail Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Abigail.