Lip Sync Battle UK (2016) s01e02 Episode Script

1 Warning: Tonight on Lip Sync Battle, things are about to kick off in true Northern style.
That's because local pride is at stake, cos two of Manchester's finest go head to head - it's Michelle Keegan - (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) versus Jason Manford.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) This is Lip Sync Battle UK! (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) T REX: 20th Century Boy Friends say it's fine Friends say it's good Everybody says it's just like Robin Hood It's plain to see you were meant for me Yeah, I'm your boy your 20th century toy Ladies and gentlemen, please raise the roof for Mel B! (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Wow! Welcome to Lip Sync Battle! (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Now, the game is simple.
Two stars lip sync two songs and the audience decide who did it best.
The mics may be off, but the battle is definitely on.
- Are you lot ready for that? - (CHEERING) Yeah! And of course, up there we have our very own rap battle champion to judge tonight's battle.
Make some noise for Professor Green! (CHEERING) I think everyone's predicting a fierce battle tonight.
It's the Manchester derby.
We've got Jason Manford against the lady who was No.
1 in FHM's 100 Sexiest list.
- Oh, wow! - Michelle Keegan.
- Have you ever been in the list? - You know what? I think me and my four other Spice bitches back in the day made it with our bits and pieces out a little bit, yeah.
- I'm gonna Google that.
- Don't.
(LAUGHS) Tonight's lip-syncers are going all out to get their hands on that beauty.
Oh, yes, the Lip Sync Battle championship belt.
(CHEERING) Are you guys ready for tonight's Lip Sync Battle? (CHEERING) Well, let's welcome this evening's performers.
First up is one of the country's most loved comedians who puts the man into Manchester.
Give it up for Jason Manford! (CHEERING) Now let's meet his opponent.
She is one of the country's most loved actresses who puts the chest into Manchester.
It's Michelle Keegan! (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Now listen, I'm feeling you're both quite competitive.
- It's like you're full-on committed.
- Oh, yeah.
- She SHOULD be committed.
- Normally it's just Jason, I am committed.
And you two you two proper know each other, don't you? We met about a year ago on a drama.
We got on very well on our on our show.
- Not any more though.
- No.
- It's a bit of a grudge match, then.
- It is, yeah.
She broke my heart a little bit on that show.
Cos I don't read the papers.
I didn't know there was some fella from whatever that show is - Geordie Shore, or whatever.
- (LAUGHTER) I thought she was after just a bit of fun, - but she likes good-looking men.
- (LAUGHTER) OK, I can't wait to get this going.
Are you ready? - Born ready.
- Yes.
So we had to decide who goes first, and normally we sit down and we have a big meeting about it, but we forgot about that.
So Jason, you might as well go first.
Michelle, make your way over to the VIP bar and get a lovely drink.
OK, then.
- Jason.
- Yeah.
You've got this one nailed, please tell me.
I'm actually dedicating this song to Mark Wright.
Right.
Listen to the words, Mark.
- What is the song? - It's CeeLo Green: Forget You.
(LAUGHTER) Kicking off the battle for us tonight with Forget You by CeeLo Green, it's Jason Manford.
- Go on! - (CHEERING) See you driving 'round town with the girl I love And I'm like forget you I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough I'm like forget you and forget her too Said, if I was richer I'd still be with ya - Ha, oh ain't that some ssh - Ain't that some ssh And although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best With a forget you (Ooh, ooh, ooh) Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad? So bad, so bad, so bad I tried to tell my mamma but she told me "This is one for your dad" Your dad, your dad, your dad Yes, she did Why? Why? Why, lady? I love you I still love you, oh I see you driving 'round town with the girl I love And I'm like forget you (ooh, ooh, ooh) I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough I'm like forget you and forget her too Said if I was richer I'd still be with ya - Ha, ain't that some shh - Ain't that some shh And although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a forget you Ooh, ooh, ooh (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) - Well, that warmed you up a bit, right? - Yeah.
Do you think you did Manchester proud just then? Yeah, I think so.
There'll be people in Manchester very proud.
I'll be surprised if I don't get the key to the city an' that - when I get home.
- (LAUGHTER) - Michelle, is he gonna get the key to the city? - Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
All I know is there's one man sat at home in Essex - crying his bollocks off.
- (LAUGHTER) Professor Green, what's your verdict? If I could, I'd forget it.
Sweating like a pregnant nun up here and you're just giving it owt! I'm only joking.
You performed that.
You went right through the whole thing like a woman scorned.
Amazing.
OK, Jason, you go over to the VIP bar for a well-deserved drink.
Yes.
- (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) - Michelle, get yourself up here, my lovely.
Come on, Michelle.
(WHISTLING AND CHEERING) Now, you seem pretty confident that you can beat that performance.
I'm I'm now I'm 50-50.
I was confident, and that was pretty good so But I'm gonna bring it.
I'm gonna bring it! - You ARE gonna bring it.
- Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Michelle Keegan! (CHEERING) Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want So tell me what you want, what you really, really want I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want So tell me what you want, what you really, really want I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah If you want my future, forget my past If you wanna get with me, better make it fast Now don't go wasting my precious time Get your act together, we could be just fine I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want So tell me what you want, what you really, really want I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends Make it last forever, friendship never ends If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is Oh, what do you think about that Now you know how I feel Say you can handle my love, are you for real? I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want So tell me what you want, what you really, really want I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah If you wanna be my lover (CHEERING) That was proper girl power right there! Come on! So that actually means that you owe me some royalties.
I do.
I need to pay you for that.
I've always wanted to be a Spice Girl, so I felt so good! - I felt like I was with my old mate! - Aww! Which one were you during that performance? - Erm, well I can't be you - Right.
so I'm gonna go with Mel C.
- She was always my favourite.
- She was always mine, actually.
- (LAUGHTER) - What are you talking about? Oh, no! Mel B.
- (LAUGHTER) - Yeah.
If that was an audition, would she be in the Spice Girls? - AUDIENCE: Ooh! - (LAUGHS) Ohh! I don't think you'd WAN to be in the Spice Girls - they're all fucking bitches.
- (LAUGHTER) I'm the only nice, normal one.
(LAUGHS) Professor Green, who is in the lead after the first two songs? Based on the song choice, Jason Manford.
What a bitch! What a bitch! - Fuck you, Professor Green! - (LAUGHTER) Love you too, Mel.
Well, that's it for Round One, but stay with us because Michelle's gonna heat things up - and Jason will be cooling them all the way down.
- (LAUGHS) These two are about to go all out to claim that belt in Round Two of tonight's Lip Sync Battle.
(CHEERING) (CHEERING) Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle.
So far, we've seen Jason's CeeLo Green And Michelle audition for the Spice Girls.
How are you doing over there? You all right? - I'm doing good.
- We're good.
Are you gonna bring it for Round Two, both of you? - Absolutely.
- I'm gonna bring it.
I've already brought it and I've left it at home.
(LAUGHTER) Well, prepare yourselves because it is time for Round Two, where Jason and Michelle are about to up the ante in their fight to be crowned tonight's Lip Sync Battle champions! (CHEERING) First up is Michelle.
And here's how she prepared for tonight.
I've been here for five hours.
I've not seen her.
Guys, come back in ten.
I'm Ten, all right? I'm busy.
OK, bye.
Either she's trying to get in here, or I'm already in there.
Er, Jason in three words.
Um Nob.
Tosser.
And a fucking loser.
Oh, no, that's four.
If she sees me, she'll she'll shit it.
- Nice shirt, Jason.
- Yeah? Do I like Jason? Erm I like Jason's teeth.
I'm gonna bury him.
I'm gonna take him downtown.
And not to a good place.
Just downtown.
Just do your best, that's all you can do.
Oh, don't worry.
I'll do more than that.
She is hammered.
Jason Manford, you are a dick.
(CHEERING) KINGS OF LEON: Sex On Fire The dark of the alley The break of the day Head while I'm driving I'm driving Soft lips are open The knuckles are pale Feels like you're dying You're dying You Your sex is on fire Consumed With what's just transpired Hot as a fever Rattling bones I could just taste it Taste it But it's not forever It's just tonight Oh we're still the greatest The greatest You Your sex is on fire You Your sex is on fire Consumed With what's just transpired You Your sex is on fire Consumed With what's just transpired (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) (WHISTLING AND CHEERING) Wowzer! That was seriously hot stuff! - What are you doing? - Just tidying up.
- (LAUGHTER) - Unbelievable, the mess you've made.
Did you feel like your boobs were gonna pop off - when they exploded? - I felt my boobs were on fire, let alone sex.
I was thinking: ohh! But no, I loved it.
I loved it! - Jason.
- That was amazing! I've never seen you perform like that.
I thought: that's won it, and then whatever that was shot out of your tits, and I thought: - game over.
- (LAUGHTER) - Professor Green, what did you think? - I thought it was amazing.
(CHEERING) If someone told me that their sex was on fire, - I'd be like, "Yo! All right.
" - Get yourself off to the clinic.
(LAUGHTER) Thank God, I've never had that happen.
- Are you sure about that? - I am, yeah.
I was gonna say I'm positive, but that would be a bad time to say it.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) Well, thank you, Professor Green.
Now Jason, that's what you've got to beat.
- Yeah no.
- (LAUGHS) OK, well, before we see what Jason's got up his sleeve, let's see how he prepared for tonight's Lip Sync Battle.
(CHEERING) I've been taking this very seriously.
- What are you listening to? - I'm in the zone.
I'm not letting you get into my head.
I'm looking forward to seeing what she does.
She might have some moves.
Can she do it in front of a crowd? Michelle, I hope your lip syncing is better than you were in Emmerdale, or whatever.
You're going down, sweetheart.
I've been practising anywhere I can.
You can do this, OK? In the back of taxis, I've had my headphones and every so often you catch the driver's eye in the rear-view mirror and you're like "All right, mate?" It can be a bit awkward.
I'm going pretty big.
Jazz hands make everything better.
This is what my dad means when he says I've not got a proper job.
To win that belt would absolutely mean the world just to show the kids, for them to be proud of me finally.
This on YouTube will cause them some concern.
Michelle Keegan, like your namesake Kevin, I would love it, LOVE it, LOVE it if I could beat you tonight.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) IDINA MENZEL: Let It Go It's funny how some distance Makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me Can't get to me at all It's time to see what I can do To test the limits and break through No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free Let it go, let it go I am one with the wind and sky Let it go, let it go You'll never see me cry Here I stand And here I'll stay Let the storm rage on (CHEERING) My power flurries through the air into the ground My soul is spiralling in frozen fractals all around And one thought crystallises like an icy blast I'm never going back The past is in the past Let it go, let it go And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go, let it go That perfect girl is gone Here I stand In the light of day Let the storm rage on The cold never bothered me anyway - (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) - (WHISTLES) (WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Is it Jason or is it Elsa? I put the queen into Queen Elsa there, my friend.
That was, er weirdly enjoyable.
I know! (LAUGHTER) Michelle, I want to know your thoughts on this performance.
I can't deny it, it was very, very, very good.
- Thanks, Michelle.
- Well done.
(CHEERING) She's about three or four or five vodkas in, so I mean She actually thinks this is a clip from the film.
(LAUGHS) Professor Green, what did you make of it? When I first saw you come out, I was like, "Oh, my " - I mean you look a bit ridiculous.
- (LAUGHTER) But it was great.
I was into it, mate.
- You know, if all else fails drag.
- Absolutely.
- Available for children's parties.
- (LAUGHTER) No, no, no, no, no, no.
No! - Hiya, kids! - (LAUGHTER) Michelle, come and join us over here.
(CHEERING) Ah, mate, well done.
So, it's the moment of truth.
We're about to find out if tonight's title goes to Jason or Michelle.
Professor Green, the belt, please.
(CHEERING) As ever, audience, the decision is down to you lot.
Is it Michelle Keegan? - Is she the winner? - (CHEERING) Whoo-whoo-whoo! Or is it Jason Manford? (LOUDER CHEERING) So, OK, the Lip Sync Battle champion is Jason Manford! (CHEERING AND WHISTLING) Did you have fun on the show tonight? I'm not gonna lie, I absolutely loved it.
And I'm not a singer, so this to me was amazing.
- Wasn't her performance amazing? - (CHEERING) Elsa, congratulations, you are the Lip Sync Battle champion.
How are you feeling right now? I'm, er I'm honoured.
It's a real honour.
I'd like to thank my sister, Anna.
(LAUGHTER) Give both our stars a huge applause.
They were amazing! - (CHEERING) - Yes! Make sure you join us for our next Lip Sync Battle.
From me, Professor Green, Jason and Michelle BOTH: good night! (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)