Maamla Legal Hai (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

1
[birds chirping, cawing]
[indistinct chatter]
[Law] Sorry for not letting you
freshen up in the morning.
[man] Shut up!
[Law] Sorry for calling you
five times this morning.
[man] Rubbish! You've called me ten times.
[Law] Sorry, sir.
I spent all night
getting this firecracker made,
so that we could start with a bang,
have some fun.
All gone to waste.
It's bad enough there was no dancing.
The least you could do
is serve us crispy samosas.
-[Sujata] Ready, oye!
-[funky music]
Five, six, seven, eight
-Why is everyone climbing in and not out?
-[music fades]
Didi, no dance, no party. All canceled.
-Canceled?
-Yeah.
Are, I wore sports shoes
with my saree today
so that I can do the "Lungi Dance".
And it's canceled?
Who did it?
-[mellow music]
-[in Hindi] The one you called worthy
The one you called worthy is me
O' my beloved
-[in English] Mubtala, you idiot.
-[music stops]
-Remember it
-Are, Tyagiji!
[man] You're still waiting here?
Both of us already filed our nomination.
-Both of you?
-[man] Mm.
Jha, are you also running?
[scoffs]
See? Even Mr. Tyagi can't digest
that a nuisance like you
is contesting the election.
I actually came to support Ahmedji.
But the secretary didn't have change
for 500 rupees.
-So?
-So I thought, since I'm already here,
I'll also file my nomination.
[Mintu] Oh, Tyagi!
[Ahmed] Mm. Oh.
I hope you have some change,
otherwise, you'll have another
All the best.
Oh, veere, give it a second thought, yaar.
We have arranged
for the best catering and everything!
Drums, fireworks, and Nagin dance!
[Mintu] We need the whole town to know
that VD Tyagi has arrived
to file his nomination, yaar!
The whole town?
Oye, Mintu, does the "B"
in your "LLB" stand for "Brainless"?
I'm here to fill my nomination form.
I'm not here to get married.
Have you ever seen CEOs and doctors
dancing on patriotic songs on the streets?
Try to be a little refined,
a little cultured.
Uh, what cu
Oh, yaar! All this culture vulture BS
isn't going to get you elected, Tyagi.
A little bit of showing off
is needed to win these things, yaar.
Showing off? In front of Kazmi?
Do you even know him?
Are, he listens to Ghulam Ali.
You know Ghulam Ali?
To songs like "Chupke Chupke"
and you want to jump up and down
doing the "Lungi Dance"?
[scoffs]
Your brain has turned to mush.
Uh, K-Kazmi who?
Lillah! Come on.
["Tumhe Yaad Yo Ke" by Ghulam Ali playing]
Well, I must say, it's a real pleasure
to meet a candidate who's been recommended
by someone as highly respected
as Mr. Wadia.
Believe me, Tyagi saab.
This bar association
needs hard-working men like you
who uphold the spirit of the law.
[Mintu tuts]
I hope this ghazal isn't bothering you.
No, no, no, it's not the ghazal.
It's the singer
that's bothering me, Kazmi saab.
To drop one of
Momin's most exquisite couplets,
-what could be a bigger crime than that?
-[Kazmi] Let's hear it.
-[radio turns off]
-[VD Tyagi clears throat]
Let's hear it.
[in Hindi]
The one you called worthy and loyal
I am the one, my beloved
[clock ticking]
Hope you remember our encounter
[Kazmi] Vaah!
Subhanallah!
[Mintu] Vaah.
[in English] I must say,
it's very rare to meet someone
with such grace and nafasat
in this profession nowadays.
Jee huzoor, lawyers nowadays
are only interested in showing off.
Kaifiyat.
What?
-[fireworks exploding, crackling]
-[people cheering]
[upbeat music]
Is he a big criminal lawyer?
He's a big criminal
lawyer.
[upbeat music continues]
[all cheering]
[whistling]
What the hell, Cheema?
Sorry, Mintu!
[chuckles]
But they had crispy samosas.
He's showing off like this
because his uncle is a judge.
The fucker has no idea
that our own father is a judge.
I swear if I'd known beforehand
that we would meet here,
I would've given the laddoos personally.
I've sent them to your chamber.
Along with a little gift.
Huh.
[chuckles]
[Phorey] A token from me.
[Phorey chuckles]
[theme music]
[birds chirping]
DISTRICT COURT, PATPARGANJ, DELHI
Didi.
Why did you call me so early?
I missed my Krav Maga class
because of this.
You've already done your LLM.
Why study more?
Start your practice
or you'll remain a legal virgin forever.
-Didi, it's a
-Here, take my
-lucky naada.
-Naada
What naada?
Didi, I said I was trying to get a case,
not some silly naada.
Are, now that you have your naada,
you will get a case from here.
Cause list. These are all the cases
that will be handled in court today.
But Didi,
advocates have already been assigned.
Yeah, but they won't all show up.
Some advocates
will have dropped their cases.
Some may have dates that are clashing,
and some might not be up to it.
Not up to it as in?
This is justice, not Pilates
that they're not "up to it".
Are, just run through the whole cause list
and go find those people
who are roaming free without an advocate.
And if you need anyone's number,
go ask Vishwas, okay? See you.
-Will he share them with me?
-He may not help anyone else.
He'll help you.
-Thank you.
-[funky music]
Boss, I don't know about that.
I'm issuing a notice against you.
That's it.
[staff] Don't do that, sir.
I'm telling you the truth, sir.
-I put up a cause list this morning.
-Right.
But someone took it.
Yeah, you put it up
and then someone took it.
Fuck off! First of all,
you don't do your job,
then you give me this conspiracy theory
-[thumps]
-[groans]
-[Ani] Vishwas.
-Hold on, hold on.
Do you have Mangal Dheema's
contact information by any chance?
-Good morning, Ani.
-Good morning.
Oh, Mangal Dhee
Just have a look at today's cause list.
[staff] See! See! I told you, sir,
I had put up the list and someone took it.
Who is that?
-I'll deal with you later.
-[phone beeps]
Cause list.
-What were you saying?
-Mangal Dheema.
Uh, he's an advocate who's handling
eight legal matters in different courts
and three of them are even clashing.
Clashing? If the dates are clashing,
the clients must be poor.
[chuckles]
There's a Buleswar
G-Gaya Prasad and Ram Bishal.
They all sound like characters
from a tragic Premchand novel.
This Mangalji must be
a seva kendra lawyer.
[Ani] Seva kendra?
Legal aid.
-Wow.
-[Vishwas] Mm.
Mangalji provides so many
impoverished people with legal aid.
Poor, poor. Tea?
For the next three years,
I think I'm going to assist him.
Vishwas, do you think
I could get his number?
Of course you can.
Listen, do you, um do this for everyone
or are you doing this specially for me?
If government officers like me
can't be of help to the elite like you,
then what's the point
of me being in this post at all?
[soft chuckle]
[phone operator in Hindi]
The number you're calling
-is currently switched off.
-[smacks lips]
[in English] Don't worry.
He's bound to come to court.
Sir, the photo is of this nameplate.
If Phoreyji complained
against us to the council,
then why did he send us a copy?
It's a slap in the face.
Then why did he send us these laddoos?
[chuckles]
He's sending a kiss as well.
A kiss along with a slap?
Oh, veree, he's trying some BDSM with us.
Are, this complaint is total rubbish.
-Sir, how is this nameplate illegal?
-Are, it is.
It's against the rules
set by the bar council.
It's written here,
"An advocate signboard or nameplate
displayed publicly or otherwise,
should be of a reasonable size."
And who the hell is going to decide
what's a reasonable size, huh, Munshiji?
A nameplate should not be bigger
than this size.
It goes on to say,
"Additionally, the signboard or nameplate
should not indicate
that he or she, is or has,
been president, chairman, office bearer
of the bar council or any associations."
So you can be
the president of the bar association,
but you can't mention it?
In our profession,
no one believes anything
until it's in writing.
Oye, what is this nonsense law?
Not law, rule.
And Visheshwar, a rule has been broken.
You nameplate is much bigger
than it should be
and it has "President Bar Association"
written on it.
[telephone rings]
Hello?
Yes?
Yes, I, uh
received a copy of the complaint.
[VD Tyagi] Thank you.
[handset thuds]
[tense music]
That was Kazmi on the phone.
The council is holding
a committee meeting.
My nomination might get canceled.
Nomination might get canceled?
Tyagi, I swear I want to hit
this fucker's face with my elbow
and get a charge sheet
filed against myself!
I want to tear his mustache off
and shove it down his throat!
Rip his dick off and make a tie off it!
Mintu, yaar.
Everyone, leave the room for two minutes.
I want to be alone. Go outside, please.
[Munshi] Come on, Mintu.
[pensive music]
[court announcer]
Ram Bishal versus Gaya Prasad.
-Gaya Prasadji?
-[indistinct chatter]
Gaya Gaya Prasadji?
Mr. Gaya Prasad?
[man] I'll tell you what to do.
-Mr. Buleswar?
-[man 1] No, ma'am.
-Mr. Buleswar?
-[man 2] No, ma'am.
-Mr. Buleswar?
-[man 3] No, no.
Mr. Buleswar?
Yes, that's me!
-[Ani] You're Mr. Buleswar?
-Huh.
[sighs]
Buleswar!
[upbeat music]
[exhales deeply]
So, Buleswarji,
what is your matter exactly?
Compensation.
Someone's truck hit my buffalo.
-Buleswarji.
-Yes?
-Please come sit here.
-Okay.
So Mangalji also deals
with restitution matters.
I don't know
how he handles all this stress.
By the way, where is Mangalji?
Huh?
[quirky music]
Don't worry, it's vegan. You can have it.
[sniffs]
Mangalji?
Mangalji is not coming.
He told me to ask for a court date.
How did he do that?
His phone's not reachable.
Not today. He told me this
three years ago at the seva kendra.
I have been asking
for the dates since then.
-Really, for three years?
-Yeah.
Mangalji is never free to come.
How can he?
When he's so overworked.
You know how many cases he's dealing with?
[Ani smacks lips]
But don't worry.
I'm going to assist him now
and everything's going to be fine, okay?
You will get clean drinking water
at this canteen.
That gutter water you are drinking
will give you cholera.
[quirky music continues]
Don't worry, it's, um, alkaline water.
It's completely safe.
So, uh, where does Mangalji sit?
-Mangalji?
-[Ani] Yeah.
Must be in his room.
-Tsk. Where is his room?
-In his house.
Where is his house?
[inhales sharply]
I don't know.
[frustrated groan]
Buleswarji
that man is working day and night
just to get justice for your buffalo.
And you don't have his number
nor his address?
What do you have? Tell me.
Hmm. This.
[mouthing]
[light music]
NOTARY, MANGAL DHEEMA,
BA LLB, ADVOCATE
DHEEME DHEEME
[lights buzzing]
[man] So what would you like?
A facial?
Kundalini awakening?
[playful music]
It's stress relieving.
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm actually here to meet Mangal Dheemaji.
I'm a big fan of his work.
I am him.
[soft chuckle]
Oh, but you're you're an advocate, right?
Yeah, I am that too.
But I am this too.
Ha! He's both, man. Two-in-one.
[lights buzzing]
[Ani] I just want to help you
so that you can further help
people in need.
You know,
the impoverished sections of society.
-What sections?
-Are, poor, poor.
Ah!
Now I get it.
-Now you get what?
-[quirky music]
World peace.
Amnesty International!
Magsaysay type!
Don't worry. I got it. I got it.
I've heard a lot about people like you.
But I'm seeing one for the first time.
[Mangal] Don't worry, I know
exactly what you people are looking for.
I'm part of the Free the Nipple campaign
as well, you know?
-All the poor
-[coughs]
Im poverished sec tion cases.
Flood victims.
Riot victims.
Drug addicts.
-[Ani coughs]
-Victims of violence.
A few are crowdfunded by Ketto as well.
They are the premium poor.
Everything you want is here.
Per case, 20,000.
What?
If you pay me a lump sum,
I'll bring the price down some.
[Munshi humming]
Munshiji, why are we sitting outside?
Oye, there are some men
who prefer to cry alone.
He isn't crying.
He's opening.
What?
He's opening a door.
Huh?
[Mintu] I can't hear anything. Can you?
[Munshi] Are, our friend, Tyagi's father,
Justice Sarveshwar Dayal Tyagi,
used to tell us a story.
Chintan Dasji was a prominent lawyer.
He had made up his mind to leave his firm
to his younger son Sanatan
after his death.
He used to believe
that his younger son was the true lawyer.
But his elder son, Puratan,
couldn't accept this.
First of all, he was older,
and he also thought he was
a much better lawyer than his brother.
So Chintan Dasji set up a test.
He made Puratan and Sanatan follow him
into a massive empty room.
And he said, "I am going to lock this door
from the outside.
The first person to come out of this room
will be considered the true lawyer.
And the firm will go to him."
Did the room have a window?
No.
Any tunnels or lanterns?
An attached bathroom?
Those were the things
Puratan kept looking for.
But he simply couldn't find
another way out.
Are, but that means
there was no way to get out, right?
Yeah.
That's the kind of thinking
that made Puratan give up.
But Sanatan managed to get out.
He was a shape-shifting snake.
[laughs]
No. Sanatan was a true lawyer.
He went to the door and turned the handle
to see if it was open or not.
The door was open.
[scoffs]
Oye, this Sanatan guy just took
a lucky shot, nothing else.
-Huh.
-[Munshi chuckles]
"The door is closed."
That made all the difference.
You see, when an ordinary man
hears these words,
he either goes another way
or he gives up defeated.
But a true lawyer
starts asking questions.
"Is the door really closed?"
"Who is it closed for?"
[Munshi] "How long is it closed for?"
"Who ordered the door to be closed?"
And he keeps asking
all kinds of questions until the door is
[door lock rattles]
[bold music]
Are you coming or not?
-Law?
-Yes, sir?
-Prepare a show cause notice.
-Okay.
-Mintu.
-Mm?
Make calls to every president
in the Delhi Court.
-Order, you need to go to Shahdara.
-Yes, sir?
Abe! Are, go and tell him he needs
to pick up the drummer from there.
The drummer? What are you about to do?
Mintu.
The whole bloody town should know
what I'm about to do.
[bold music continues]
When the judge sees that Didi is
the lawyer representing your case,
he'll know
you are on the right side of the law.
Didi doesn't need to argue.
Didi is the argument.
Didi, Vishwas
That Mangal Dheema
He's a cheat! He's a fraud!
And he's a scamster!
-[music stops]
-[Vishwas] Hmm.
[Vishwas chuckling]
What is this?
A complaint.
Against Mangal Dheema.
Ma'am, you trusted this man
and put him in charge
of Mr. Buleswar's case.
But he isn't doing anything about it.
Mr. Buleswar himself has got dates
for three years.
Listen, only Mr. Buleswar can file a case
against him or the court.
You have no locus standi here.
I cannot accept this complaint.
-But
-No, no, no, no, no.
[Vishwas]
You cannot refuse to accept a complaint.
Yeah, whether you choose to do something
about it or not is entirely up to you,
but you have to accept the complaint.
Look, I'm a Class 1
government employee myself.
You will accept this complaint
and you'll sign for it as well.
Otherwise, based on a complaint from me,
action will be taken against you.
Signature.
[Vishwas] Thank you.
-[bones cracking]
-[man grunting]
[light music]
-You complained against me?
-Yes.
[AC beeping]
[man groans, grunts]
[in strained voice]
My license will get canceled.
Absolutely.
If I don't do what you say, then
Yeah.
[AC beeping]
[in normal voice]
That's the remote for the AC.
-[Mangal] But if I do what you tell me to
-[remote clatters]
then you will handle this case
and I'll get to collect the fees?
-[man groans, grunts]
-Yeah.
-[Mangal] Huh?
-Yeah.
[Mangal laughs]
[cheeky music]
That's great!
[Vishwas] Here you go.
-[Vishwas] What
-Asshole!
You think you can try
this slap and kiss shit with a lawyer?
-[Vishwas] Slap and kiss?
-Go and revoke my license.
-Go on.
-[Vishwas] Uh
Do you think I pay my bills
by the money I earn as a lawyer?
You relax, huh?
[sucks teeth]
His main line of work is acupuncture.
He's a lawyer only part-time.
Idiot, even acupuncture is part-time.
My main job is facials.
-Oh.
-[Mangal] Do you want one?
Actually No, thank you.
Get out.
-Look here, the complaint
-Get out!
One second, one second, one second
[Vishwas] Sit down. Sit down. Sit down.
Mr. Lawyer
your main job is doing facials?
-Now do
-No, no, no, no.
You're a full-time beautician
and you're ignoring her?
Mr. Lawyer, check her out.
I mean, take a good look at her.
The ultimate glamor girl
standing right in front of you
-and you're ignoring her?
-[cheeky music]
Once she starts coming here regularly,
your salon will reach heights
you can't even imagine right now.
You think she's some ordinary woman?
She's from South Delhi.
Are, you know the salon she goes to
to get a facial done?
While applying cream on her face,
they serve a complimentary juice
worth 150 rupees, did you know that, huh?
Huh?
And once she becomes
one of your regular customers, Mr. Lawyer,
I'm telling you,
all the ladies in Laxmi Nagar
will line up for your facial
and that aqua type of puncture
that you do.
[chuckles]
I tried this once before.
The foreign-returned urban types.
They all got pissed off.
This kind of thing doesn't work here.
They like things more rustic.
-More rustic?
-More relatable.
[cheeky music continues]
[chair whirring]
[indistinct chatter]
[Phorey] What does he think?
He walks around
like some kind of a big shot.
[chuckles]
Now, watch how they cut him down to size.
[both laugh]
There he is. Seems to be in a good mood.
[Phorey] He's here.
[chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
[Kazmi] Tyagiji,
are you willing to acknowledge
that putting up a nameplate of this size
is completely against the rules
and guidelines of the Bar Council?
-Yes, I do.
-[chuckles]
Then you must be aware
that the council has full authority
to take appropriate action
against you for this violation.
Yes.
-Chapter 4, Section 5.3.
-[tense music]
Well, I thank you for your candor.
I have nothing further to add to this.
The members of the panel will decide
what is the right course of action
to take against you.
Objection, sir.
Kazmi saab, why this action against me?
Action should be taken
against the owner of the nameplate.
-Are, it is his nameplate.
-Yeah.
Kindly elaborate, Tyagi saab.
What exactly are you trying to say?
The thing is, Kazmi saab,
there's been a misunderstanding.
You see "VD Tyagi" on the nameplate
but actually, it's not really a name.
It's a logo.
[VD Tyagi] For example,
a lot of companies have logos, right?
A sign.
But sometimes,
we find very difficult to read.
But then, there are other companies
that have logos that we can read
without any problem.
So "VD Tyagi And Associates" is a logo,
not a nameplate.
So, now to say this, Kazmi saab,
that the nameplate is too big
and the letters are too big,
this is
[chuckles]
this is not a valid complaint,
-Kazmi saab.
-[Phorey] Hey, one minute, one minute!
If if this is not a name and only a logo,
then why is
"President, Patparganj Bar Association"
written at the bottom?
-Tell me, huh?
-[people murmuring]
No, no. Are you the president
or is the firm?
Tell me.
You're absolutely right.
I'm the president.
So who gave this firm the authority
to write
"President of the Bar Association"?
That's what I want to know.
[VD Tyagi] Should this question
be put to me or the firm?
Look, the law is very clear, Kazmi saab.
That individuals and firms
are two separate entities.
Therefore, I'm separate
and my firm is separate. Correct?
And sir, I would like to inform the panel
that as soon as I found out about this,
I followed the bylaws
of the Patparganj Bar Association.
And I sent the firm
a show cause notice immediately.
One minute, sir. Mintu.
-Has he gone crazy?
-What is he doing?
[VD Tyagi] Sir, look at these.
Rajdeep Sehgal. Parimal Jha.
Sir, just look at their nameplates.
Advocate Gaurav Sharma.
Look at the size of the nameplates.
Shima Trivedi, Saurabh Khanna
Take a good look at them, sir.
[VD Tyagi] Sir, it looks like
I'm not alone, sir.
[tense cheeky music]
He is making a fool out of everyone.
Say something.
I hope VD Tyagi's nomination
as an individual
is accepted by the council.
Based on the precedent
said by the council today,
action will have to be taken
against everyone.
[people murmuring]
Tyagi saab, you can start
your preparations for the elections.
[Phorey] Are, what do you mean,
"start your preparations"?
Is this some kind of joke
or something? Hey!
Um, Kazmi saab
this reminds me of a couplet
by Wasim saab, if I may?
Let's hear it.
[in Hindi] This life is a carnival!
What good are promises here?
[Kazmi] Vaah!
Life is a carnival!
What good are promises here?
When the sun sets
Everyone will take his own path!
O' Wasim
It takes guts
To fulfill enmity with someone!
How can one
Take revenge against anyone
Who is untrue to himself?
[upbeat music]
[in English] Loved the laddoos.
[splutters, chuckles]
Subhanallah!
[chuckling]
[festive music]
[people cheering]
[whistling]
[car engine starts]
[cheering continues]
[gentle music]
Didi!
My first case.
-[Sujata] Aha!
-[Vishwas] Oh!
-[grunts]
-[Ani chuckles]
[mouthing]
Thank you.
[camera shutter clicks]
I really enjoyed getting a lift
in your car today.
-Anytime, Didi.
-You're looking nice.
-Thanks.
-Pretty.
-Are you excited?
-Yeah.
-Have you had yogurt and sugar?
-No.
And who are you?
What do you mean? I'm this man's lawyer.
And I am going to ask the questions,
who are you?
[Buleswar] Saab, I told you about her.
Ah! The girl who drinks water
from the gutter. This is her, huh? Okay.
Sir, I think there's been some confusion.
I'm a part of Mangal Dheemaji's team.
And I am going to get restitution
for his buffalo.
[tuts]
Someone filed a complaint
against Mangal Dheemaji.
Huh?
[lawyer] Some lawyer called Ananya Shroff.
So I'm handling all the matters for now.
That means you cannot argue on his behalf.
[lawyer] Thank you very much for the file.
Come on. It's our turn.
Let's go, let's go!
We need a court date as well. Let's go.
But sir, how can you just Sir!
The things I have done
to get this case, yaar.
You've done?
Please remember the things that I've done.
DHEEME DHEEME
[cheeky music]
DHEEME DHEEME
NO WAGES, NO HONOR IN DISTRICT COURTS
OWING TO POOR LEGAL AID
NO MORE SELF-ADVERTISING
ALLOWED FOR LAWYERS
[closing theme music]