Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy (2015) s01e02 Episode Script

1 I'm Hooked on a feelin' I'm high on believin' - Whoo! That you're in love with me Knock it off, Quill.
If the altitude don't make me hurl, your lousy dance moves will.
I am Groot.
See? Even Groot thinks you stink.
Agreed, Rocket.
His odor is extremely unpleasant.
Hey, I just took a shower this morning, Drax.
All the good love, when we're all alone Why? Showers are only for those who actually break a sweat.
Yeah, I'm more about the overall vision, Gamora.
Speaking of which, our entry point should be right around Here.
I'm high on believin' I am Groot.
Or maybe a little lower.
So, I'm totally sold on Guardians of the Galaxy as our name.
Now we need a battle cry.
- Suggestions? - I am Groot.
Walked right into that one.
Groot.
Lights out.
Yorligian Guards, heavily armed.
Somebody doesn't want the neighbors popping by.
Okay, listen up.
On my signal, we fan out for our pre-assigned targets.
Five, four, three, two Huh? Way ahead of you, Quill.
Oh, really? So, you have that security key I need? Clearing a path for Groot right now.
I am Groot.
Yes, you are.
Seriously? The password is "password"? Oh, this place has the worst security ever.
Oh.
It's cool.
I got a work order for routine repair stuff.
Okay, that's a really old photo.
I am Groot! Cellblock entry is clear.
Target located.
Disabling alarms now.
- Aw, man! I hate that sound! - Huh? That one's even worse! Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy SO1EO1EO2 Original air date Take cover! Oh, yeah No! This calls for something Special? Looking for this? Uh, Quill, you might not want to Appendages where I can see them! Let us go, or we all get vaped.
You're bluffing.
- Am I bluffing? - You d'ast well better be! You know how much boom I packed in that crater-maker? Hey! You heard him.
You have 30 seconds.
29, 28 Five, four, three, two, one! Guessing I grabbed the one with the 10-second timer.
How'd he talk me into this job? How did he talk any of us into it? This arms dealer we're freeing better be loaded.
Arms dealer? You told me he was a freedom fighter.
Yeah, I might have exaggerated that Just a little bit.
Yondu! I knew you'd come for me, boyo.
Once a Ravager, always a Ravager.
You dragged us here to spring your former pirate boss/alien abductor? Hey, we were partners.
And what was I supposed to do, tell the truth? Deceiving your friends just to save your mentor.
I'm so proud.
Yeah, about that.
I'm actually turning you in for the bounty.
Oh, I taught you so well.
So, what are we, heroes or outlaws? - Why can't we be both? - Whoa! Because you can't be half a hero or half an outlaw.
Right.
'Cause that'd be like trying to be half-human, half-alien.
Oh, wait.
I already am.
Let go! You let go! Whoa! Might wanna keep your voices down before you wake the pit leeches.
- Stay out of this! - I am Groot! This is why we need a battle cry.
Hey! Whoa! Easy! Come on! How's this for a battle cry? Let's blow stuff up! Annoying slug.
Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy! Still hanging here.
Watch your crossfire! Oh.
I am Groot.
The bounty better have been worth it, Quill.
Oh, I made sure it was.
Otherwise, you never would've come for me.
You put the bounty on yourself? I needed some kind of insurance in case my deal went south, and I knew you and your zoo crew couldn't resist them extra unit Boyo! Hey, hey, wait.
I was moving something far more valuable than any bounty when they grabbed me! How valuable we talking? We're not in this for wealth.
Hey No.
Neither was the guy who took my prize and strung me up in here.
Goes by the name of Korath.
So you do remember him.
How could I forget him? We were raised like siblings by Thanos, and molded into his enforcers.
Which means he can lead us to Thanos, and my revenge for the loss of my family.
Talk.
What were you moving? Uh, all's I know is it's old.
Real old.
And there's something inside it lots of powerful folks want.
Whatever it is, we can't let Thanos get his hands on it.
Hmm.
Weapon vault's a few levels up.
If it's valuable and dangerous, that'd be where it's stashed.
See? You can be a hero and an outlaw at the same time.
Hey.
How's it goin'? Volcanic gas.
Nasty stuff.
Groot, you're up.
Ah.
So the walking houseplant's a safecracker? More ways than one.
Ha! Found it! Wait.
What about the lock-box? Oh, Korath took off with that long before you rescued me.
What? You think I was gonna leave without my personal property? I'd say it was worth the side trip.
You expect to walk out the front door loaded down with that stuff? Who said anything about walking? Oh, yeah! Whoo-hoo! You don't mess with the Rocket unless you know how to fly! Which they do! I am Groot! Rocket, hang on! I am Groot! Stay away from the bug zappers! They'll short out your jet packs! Among other things.
Two can play at the short-out game.
This is not a game.
If it is I'm winning! I am Groot.
- I know, but I wanna keep my stash.
- I am Groot! I know, but there's some really good boom sticks in there.
I am Groot! Well, since you put it that way I'm sorry, babies.
So, so sorry.
I sleep all day, out all night I know where you're goin' - Aw.
Still torturin' your crew with that same Earth racket, Quill? You know, when you pull my fat out of the fire, you can choose the tunes.
I got ya, buddy.
I am Groot.
Ew.
There you go, bud.
Nice fresh soil.
Help you grow big and strong, again.
If I know Korath, he's too arrogant to update his security protocols.
And too ignorant to realize I stole them from him long ago.
Ah.
Typical.
He's traveling through the Beol Asteroid Cluster to avoid detection by the Nova Corps.
But that will also slow him down.
Korath will likely keep the box in his private quarters.
I should be able to get us close enough to sneak aboard and grab it.
Then I will persuade Korath to lead me to Thanos.
Hey, hey, whoa, whoa.
Heel your attack dog, Quill.
This is a stealth job.
I can bring one more, at most.
Hey.
Since when do you give the orders? Hmm.
Since I'm the one with the key to that box.
This is starting to feel a lot more outlaw than hero.
I'm broadcasting an echo signal on Korath's private frequency to scramble his proximity scanners.
Any motion displacement will read as just another asteroid.
Which would be great if he wasn't blowing them up! Ah! You said you could get us aboard! I said I could get us close enough to get aboard.
Ahh.
Nice flying, Gammy.
For a second there, I thought my fur was fried.
Turns out I was right! We've been breached.
Groot! I am Groot.
Nice save, big guy.
Think you can hold that pose while I seal the inner hatch? I am Drax the Destroyer.
I can That was not me.
Mmm, just like old times, eh, boyo? When you gonna forget this Guardians nonsense and come back and work for me, huh? You was born to be a Ravager.
I was born to live on Earth.
Until you abducted me.
Mmm-mmm I've acquired the artifact as instructed, Lord Thanos.
And the Cosmic Seed lies within? I cannot know for certain, my lord.
The Ravager was unable to open it, so I fed him to the pit leeches.
Do you not recognize the insignia, Korath? Only the key can unlock the box.
Understood, my lord.
I will set course for the planet immediately.
Whoa! Yondu.
Lower me.
I meant, "Lower me slowly.
" Yondu.
Yondu! Oh, don't you bail on me, dude.
Oh, hey.
Yeah, I was just putting this back for you.
So The rat corp that call's himself "Star-Lord.
" To what do I owe the pleasure? Aw, you remembered me.
That's just so nice.
What was your name again? Kor Kory something? How is this possible? You could not have activated this unless I was the key.
It's almost as if someone knew that and dropped me on your doorstep.
Open the box now, or I will destroy you with your own weapon! Seriously? I mean, you're not dumb enough to blow away your key.
Oh, did I mention that thing only works for me? You do realize that's not the only weapon in the room.
Oh, yeah.
So, how's that whole "trustin' Yondu" thing working out for you, Quill? Well, considering we got the prize and don't have to share, not bad.
If you take that, Thanos will hunt you to the end of the universe! I will be waiting.
Cloak us! Now! The secondary generator took on too much damage! Buy me some time to jump-start it! They'll never navigate that big tub through this mess.
And then there's that.
Energy systems can be rerouted via nonlinear network configuration Commander Korath, sir? I'm afraid we've lost the Guardians' ship.
Blast me free, fool! Seriously? We're going back to Knowhere? Didn't we nearly get this place blowed up last time? I am Groot! What do you mean, "nearly don't count"? I heard the broker set up shop here.
He might be able to tell us what's inside this boom box.
And shell out big-time units for it.
You ask me, we should destroy it before Thanos gets his hands on it.
But not before I've had my revenge on him.
Whose idea was it to build a space colony inside a Celestial's head? Relax.
The Celestial's been dormant for 10,000 years.
Not like it's in any shape to complain.
Ugh! This place always gives me the creeps.
Eh! Ain't nothin' spooks me.
I am Groot.
Find the broker.
I will wrangle the animals.
Wait.
What am I runnin' for? Heel, Fido! Unless you want to get housebroken.
Ow! Back off, Spot, or I call Security.
Cosmo is Security.
You talk? Please to forgive Cosmo for chase.
Sometimes old instinct to pursue small mammal kicks in.
Shake.
Good humanoid.
Ugh! Oh, man, talking animals give me the willies.
Eh, technically, Cosmo not talk.
Communicate telepathically.
I am Groot.
How should I know why he's sniffing you? - Probably another old instinct.
- Mmm-hmm.
Based on the insignia, this is clearly Spartax in origin.
Just like your sidearm.
Uh, say what now? Oh! They're both keys to a DNA lock.
Pure Spartax workmanship.
So this thing only works for me Because I'm part Spartax? Ah.
Peter, my little Star-Lord.
- You all right, Quill? - Ugh! Yeah.
Yeah.
Fine.
Cosmo was originally part of Soviet space program.
Fascinating.
I have no idea what that means.
Does not matter.
Capsule How you say Lost in space.
Cosmo taken to lab and experimented on.
Heh.
What a co-winky-dink.
I was Lab experiment too.
Cosmo know.
Cosmo read rodent's mind.
Who you calling rodent, you mangy little Huh? Rodent! I am Groot! So, these Spartax aliens, are they, like, cool? 'Cause they sound like a bunch of farmers with this whole "Cosmic Seed" thing here.
What? Don't open it! The Cosmic Seed is not something to be trifled with! No deal! Get it away from my shop! Now! I've got a better idea.
Let's toss it into the nearest black hole.
Aw, now, that'd be a waste of my prize.
You set me up! You knew the box was worthless without me as the key, so you sold me out to Korath! Oh, and thanks for letting me know I'm half Spartax.
Whatever that is! You sold me out, boyo! Never bothered to come back for your old mentor, did you? I barely gave Korath the slip on my own.
Maybe Korath let you escape so you could lead him straight to me.
Impossible.
Huh? Ah! Totally called it.
Miss me, sister? I never miss, brother.
Just like old times, eh, boyo? I'll let you in on a little secret, Yondu.
The old times were lousy! I'll take that, thank you.
Like chud you will! All occupants to take cover! Is not drill! Knowhere is Alive! Okay, I really, really hate that sound.
All occupants take cover! This not drill.
Knowhere is alive.
Okay, I really, really hate that sound.
And is it just me, or did Astro Pooch just talk? Cosmo speak telepathically, Peter Quill, also called Star-Lord.
It's nice to see fellow Earthling.
He's not exactly Da, Quill just learn he is half-Spartax.
Cosmo read mind.
Hey! That's personal info.
And I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it yet.
Then not to worry.
Some of Cosmo's best friends mixed breed.
I've been waiting a long time for this, brother.
Nobody gets snuffed what still owes me money.
That's bad for business.
I owe you nothing, Ravager.
I delivered the box and Quill.
Ain't my fault you couldn't hold onto 'em.
So what's that thing worth, anyway? Seriously, Yondu? What? Just 'cause I sold you out don't mean I ain't entitled to my share of your profit.
Cosmo probe Knowhere mind, but no one home.
So what's making a giant, dormant Celestial head come to life, Broker? Clearly, the energy from the Cosmic Seed inside your CryptoCube is leaking out and triggering a massive bio-regeneration.
Right.
In English? It accelerates life.
I am Groot! Whoa.
I could make a killing in the fertilizer business.
Poor word choice.
I am Groot! Yo, Groot, prune it back, will you? I am Groot! He's not in control.
Cosmo control with mind.
Ah, stupid This Cosmic Seed's been nothing but trouble from the word "go.
" So seal it up and make it stop! You're still the key, right? Oh, yeah.
Right.
Oh, speaking of which, you knew I was half-Spartax the whole time, didn't you? I bet you knew my real dad, too.
What else you been holding out on See? I kept him distracted for you.
Now about my pay This belongs to Thanos.
Quill! Now that I got your attention, what say you keep the racket down? The neighbors are complaining.
This belongs to Thanos, as well.
The only thing that belongs to Thanos is my revenge.
Hey! Get a grip.
Not on us, bark-for-brains.
I am Groot.
Why couldn't you shrink down before baldy dropped you on top of me? Don't blame him.
He was overcome by Cosmic Seed energy.
Which seems to have dissipated now that your friend and his CryptoCube are gone.
I'd sure like to know where Yondu got that box in the first place.
I am Groot.
What do ya mean, "Ask him yourself"? Don't tell me Yondu's here, too.
Not anymore.
Yondu is small potato.
We see what tiny energy do to tree and Celestial head.
Imagine what entire Cosmic Seed can do, da? It could spawn a new galaxy.
Or, in the wrong hands, destroy one.
Hands don't get any wronger than Korath's boss, Thanos.
We need to fire up the Milano.
As in now.
Ship will not be necessary.
Cosmo know, how you say, short cut.
Continuum Cortex.
Built into Knowhere's brain, is nexus point to anywhere in universe.
Cosmo beam you onto Korath ship, so you head them off at pass.
Please do wear passport wristbands.
Extras are for friends.
Activate and Cosmo retrieve you.
Because Cosmo is retriever, da? Retriever is breed of Earth dog.
Eh, never mind.
Joke not funny if Cosmo must explain.
I am Groot.
What do you mean, you don't trust him? What'd a dog ever do to a tree? Any questions? As a matter of fact I believe the rodent wishes to borrow from your enormous stockpile of weapons.
Oh, yeah! Lord Thanos, I am pleased to report that I have recovered the Cosmic Seed CryptoCube, as well as its key.
Hey, how you doing? "Recovered"? I was not aware that you had lost it, Korath.
You know what happens when my children disappoint me.
I am well aware, my Lord.
That is why I brought back the prodigal daughter.
Bring Gamora to me, alive.
I will deal with her in person.
Uh-oh.
Somebody's in trouble Ah-ah! Daddy's not gonna like it if you bust his key.
Talk about anger issues.
Open it.
Now! And why would I do that? To save her.
Not fair.
Her daddy wants her alive.
And she will be.
But she will wish she was not.
This is a cerebral parasite.
It extracts all her guilty memories and forces her to experience all the pain she inflicted in the past.
No! Now, open the box.
Your choice, Star-Lord.
Open the box, or let her suffer.
All right, all right! Just make it stop.
Quill, don't give in to him.
Quill, you imbecile.
You don't know what you're unleashing.
Open it.
Now! Say what? Man, oh, I'd hate to be in your shoes when you hand Thanos an empty box! You realize this means that you are no longer useful to me as the key.
And Thanos' punishment will be nothing compared to the pain you are about to experience.
Korath, no.
He'll never survive the guilty memories.
Okay, there was a time in the second grade when I smacked Mikey Coogan on the playground, but he totally deserved it.
Then there was that Aaskvarian I dated once and never called, but you know, she had an attitude.
Figures.
Quill has no guilt about anything.
Then we will just have to inflict pain the old-fashioned way.
Aw, and you'd just had that wall fixed.
Attack them, you fools! I am Groot! I have a message for your boss, Thanos.
Tell him when he's man enough to stop hiding behind lackeys and show his face, Drax will be ready for him.
Careful what you wish for.
Don't know how you guys got here so fast.
Just wish it was before I had to open this.
Wha Wait.
You mean I had to bust your hairless hide out of this place, twice, for an empty box? Well, when you put it that way Fine.
Hey, I'll clear a path through the guards to the ship.
All right, here we go.
Comin' through! Quill, wait! We didn't take the You're a traitor to Thanos, and you will pay for your sins, sister.
You first, brother.
Whoa, whoa, whoa Show off.
We're surrounded.
Just put this on and don't ask questions.
Don't worry, I got this.
Just hold your breath until we get to the ship.
Quill, no! I am Groot! Uh, where's the ship? Cosmo is retrieving.
Please do not be dead.
Where's Quill? How about a little warning next time? Should I warn you if this is only set to stun? Yeah.
Oops.
Forgot.
Clearly, the Cosmic Seed was inside the CryptoCube at one time.
Its residual energy must've reanimated some of Knowhere's biological functions.
But that energy is mostly depleted now.
Still, it's a fine example of Spartax workmanship, even without its key.
I'll give you 500 units for it.
You kiddin' me? There's more than 500 units worth of lint in that dust-catcher.
I'll take it.
Wait.
You can't.
Didn't you want to toss it into the nearest black hole? I did, but aren't you just a little curious to learn why you're the only one who can open it? Peter, my little Star-Lord.
So what? I'm half-Spartax.
I could be half-kangaroo, for all I care.
Does not take mind reader to know it's not true.
We are nothing without our past.
And someday, I would like to meet one of these kangaroos.
No doubt they are fine warriors.
Fine.
Let's take the 500 units and run before he changes his mind.
Or something else goes wrong.
Uh, uh Had to jinx it, didn't you? And did I mention that I hate that sound? I understand there has been a request for me to stop hiding behind lackeys and show my face.
I am ready for you, Thanos.
I demand the CryptoCube now! And the cowardly thief who calls himself Star-Lord.
Hey, cool! Thanos called me Star-Lord.
I demand the CryptoCube now or Knowhere, and all of its inhabitants, will face certain annihilation.
Okay, I just have to think of a way out of this.
You have 30 seconds to comply.
I just have to think really fast.
Let's just give Pruney Chin what he wants.
The box is useless, anyway.
So's Quill, but I'm not about to hand him over.
Hey! I am Groot! Good point.
Cosmo not want all of Knowhere blowing up either.
Well, what do you think, Drax? Drax? Aw, man! Thanos! You destroyed my family! Now face your destroyer! I will have my revenge! That is your answer, Star-Lord.
Here is mine.
Okay, fine.
I'll turn myself and the box over to the crazy dude with the raisin face.
It won't do any good now.
Thanos will destroy Knowhere just to make an example.
Way to use your big brain, chrome-dome.
Big brain Quill, where are you going? To end this once and for all.
You have persistence.
I hate persistence.
What will it take to destroy you? Much more than you have.
Where have you gone, Destroyer? Let me go.
I had him right where I wanted him.
Hey, wait up! Quill, are you doing something stupid and reckless in there? Kinda.
Look, if Thanos still wants this box, then it must still be dangerous.
I can't let him get his hands on it.
So let us in and we'll help you.
No can do.
If I'm the key, there's only one way out of this.
No! You are not gonna teleport yourself into the nearest black hole.
You hear me, Quill? Come on, come on! I will not be denied my revenge! You will be denied your life.
Let this serve as an example for all those who defy the will of Thanos! Gah! That is it, Quill! You ain't taking the collapsar plunge on my watch.
Huh? Telekinetic override is much more effective than big boom, da? Knowhere's trying to stop him from teleporting.
But why? Quill not using Continuum Cortex as teleport.
Is using as brain.
You mean he's trying to drive the giant head? Got that right.
I may be half-human, but I'm all hero.
- I am Groot? - I have no idea.
Obliterate them all! Show no mercy! Okay, taking her out for a spin.
I am Groot! I can't control it.
Always were a lousy pilot, Quill.
You think you could do better? I think we can do better.
Go left.
Left! Your other left! Don't tell me how to drive.
Kids, stop fighting or I will turn this giant head around right now.
Not to worry.
Cosmo has idea.
Please to divert all Cortex teleportational field to external output.
This gonna be one of those "we only got one shot at this" deals? Da, setting coordinates now.
I am Groot.
Excellent question, my deciduous comrade.
Cosmo teleport Knowhere to remote sector of galaxy, eh? Thanos not find for some time.
But he will find us.
Why wait? Send us back now.
I will destroy him with my bare hands.
What? Cosmo thanks you, Peter Quill, who is also called Star-Lord.
Guardians of Galaxy welcome back anytime.
Is Knowhere like home, da? Guess I've never been big on the whole home thing.
You're thinking about going to Spartax, aren't you? I didn't say that.
You're gonna sell that thing, right? I didn't say that either.
I am Groot! Definitely didn't say that.
There's no shame in wanting to seek out your true heritage.
You know, when I was a kid every time I'd stick up for someone weaker than me, my mom would always say, "You remind me of your daddy.
" But she also said that every time I'd lose my temper or do something reckless and foolish.
Right now, I think you guys are the only family I can handle.
Get lost in your rock and roll And drift away Oh! So that's why Thanos wanted an empty box.
It's a map.
A map that can lead us to the Cosmic Seed.
This is gonna be one heck of a ride.