Masters of Sex s01e02 Episode Script
Race to Space
Previously on Masters of Sex BETTY: [ Flatly .]
Oh, my God! If you really want to learn about sex, then you're gonna have to get yourself a female partner.
VIRGINIA: Dr.
Masters.
We haven't yet met.
- WILLIAM: Are you here to interview? - VIRGINIA: Can you squeeze me in now? ETHAN: All I could think about the entire drive home was kissing you.
VIRGINIA: Well, friends can kiss.
ETHAN: All I do know for sure is I am going to marry that woman.
WILLIAM: My wife is coming in next week.
ETHAN: There is no way the great Bill Masters is going to admit he's shooting blanks.
LIBBY: [ Crying .]
Why can't I give my husband a child? WILLIAM: Yet we sit huddled in the dark like prudish cavemen, filled with shame, when the truth is, nobody understands sex.
And science holds the key.
JANE: The provost of the entire university will be watching me.
VIRGINIA: He's not watching you.
He's watching science.
BARTON: Well, it's a remarkable feat.
WILLIAM: The phase we're considering you for is couples.
AUSTIN: Coup Couples? Nice to meet you.
I'm, uhanonymous.
JANE: I'm anonymous, too.
[ Both laugh .]
VIRGINIA: You are my friend.
ETHAN: Oh, Jesus Christ.
Do not say "friend.
" VIRGINIA: You are! You are my friend! ETHAN: Friends don't fuck.
VIRGINIA: I'm sorry that I hurt you.
That was never my intention.
WILLIAM: We're going to be watching couples have sex, the likelihood of us transferring all this libidinous energy onto our patients is high.
Why don't you just come out and say whatever it is you're trying to say? WILLIAM: We should undertake the research with each other.
VIRGINIA: Can I take the weekend to think about this? WILLIAM: Of course.
[ Slow music plays .]
VIRGINIA: Cereal and orange juice! Or toast! TESSA: Okay! HENRY: Tessa, get out of my way! TESSA: Stop pushing, Henry! VIRGINIA: I thought that we could discuss your proposition, if that's what we're calling it [ Sighs .]
I would like to clear this up.
I did take the weekend, as I said I would, to consider your proposal, and I've come to the conclusion that it was an unreasonable request on your part.
And so my answer is no.
[ Sighs .]
Come on, sweet angel Take me to You're old enough to pour your own cereal, Henry.
HENRY: Captain Kai is moving number 1 prisoner, Top Knot, - to the Space Pad.
- VIRGINIA: That's good news.
You both need to finish your juice.
Tess, you, too, please.
I just wanted to say thank you for your offer.
Your proposal is an interesting one, us in the study together.
Although it does put me in a curious predicament.
I'm intrigued.
This work is compelling and relevant, and I do feel that I can make a real contribution WILLIAM: Yes or no, Virginia? I'm busy.
HENRY: Mom, Sergeant Bully Black has forbidden prisoner Top Knot to enter the Ion Chamber.
Mom? VIRGINIA: Sweetheart, we're going to miss the bus.
HENRY: It's why he goes to the Space Rail.
To cool down.
Then he finds a boy, Joey, a stowaway.
Mom? VIRGINIA: Hurry up.
Let's go! [ Door closes .]
Thank you! Go on, Tess.
HENRY: And, mom, the best part is Captain Kai gives the boy Joey a real stun gun.
[ Groans .]
I was trying to tell you! VIRGINIA: Now I'm going to miss my bus, Henry.
Here, dear.
HENRY: I'll take these.
VIRGINIA: Okay, have a good day.
Take this.
HENRY: You, too.
Ugh.
Now I have to ride in the back.
VIRGINIA: I've thought about your proposal, and if saying no means losing my job, then I'll do it, although the truth is, I'd rather not, and not because I don't think highly of you and respect you enormously.
I do.
But [ Inhales deeply .]
Such an unconventional arrangement it could jeopardize my position here, and I care about this job.
I don't want to ruin it by complicating it.
I hope you can understand that.
[ Door opens, closes .]
Good morning.
Coffee's hot.
The American Obstetrics Dinner is Thursday.
You're speaking last.
I have your notes.
Senator Ronson called twice this morning and said he will only speak to you.
And, also, I wouldn't mind a moment of your time.
[ Clears throat .]
I-I've thought about your proposal of of the two of us participating in the study together.
WILLIAM: No, there is no study.
VIRGINIA: There WILLIAM: I've just returned from provost Scully's office.
He informed me that someone told him that my sex study had progressed to copulation between couples, which incensed the provost to such a degree that he shut down my study as of this morning.
VIRGINIA: Well, who would ever WILLIAM: I warned you about sleeping with Haas.
I told you it was dangerous and unprofessional.
I also warned you about discussing the study with him, yet you did both, knowing the risk involved.
VIRGINIA: Ethan would never WILLIAM: You defied me! You jeopardized the study.
So, as a result, you're fired.
I've called human resources.
I expect you to sit at your desk until your replacement is hired, at which time, you'll be terminated from the hospital staff entirely.
[ Telephone ringing .]
VIRGINIA: [ Breathing heavily .]
Dr.
Masters' office.
WOMAN: May I speak to Mrs.
Johnson, please? VIRGINIA: Yes, this is Mrs.
Johnson.
[ Woman speaking indistinctly .]
H-Henry's been suspended? LIBBY: Oh, if you would, Ethan, I'm not WILLIAM: I'm not with Ethan.
Go ahead.
Get on your gown, so we can talk.
LIBBY: I was going to come by your office.
WILLIAM: I want to talk to you in here, since I'm now the one that's treating you.
LIBBY: You? What happened to Ethan? WILLIAM: Dr.
Haas is not the best fertility doctor in the midwest.
I am.
Shouldn't my wife have the very best? LIBBY: I-I don't understand.
When did this happen? Why? WILLIAM: It's important for me to know that I'm doing everything I can for you, for us to give us a family.
So, we need to do a blood panel.
LIBBY: Ethan did a blood panel WILLIAM: Another blood panel.
The progesterone anluteinizing hormone are repeated each cycle.
We'll finish the tests today.
We'll do the cervical capping tomorrow.
I want you on your back for 16 hours this time, feet in stirrups.
A sedative will help with the discomfort.
VIRGINIA: All right.
Maybe, in a strange way, it's romantic the two of us, together, making a baby through science.
WILLIAM: We'll start with a vaginal swab in preparation for the saline douche, just like an evening of dinner and dancing.
LIBBY: [ Laughs .]
This is hardly my best dancing dress, but At least it's us.
[ Door opens .]
WILLIAM: Actually, Miss Grand is on duty.
Yeah, uh A nurse is perfectly capable of handling this part of the procedure.
I have an appointment this morning, but I'll check in on you later I promise.
[ Smooches .]
I'm happy about this.
LIBBY: Mm.
[ Door closes .]
MISS GRAND: Ready, Mrs.
Masters? WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Dr.
Martin, please call the pharmacy.
Dr.
Martin, please call the pharmacy.
ETHAN: Why was I taken off your wife's case? [ Breathes sharply .]
Fine.
I'll ask her myself.
WILLIAM: You will not.
Instead, you will do well to remember your career is in my hands.
ETHAN: What are you talking about? WILLIAM: You're indiscreet and untrustworthy, two things I will not tolerate.
ETHAN: I-is this about your sperm count? Because I have said nothing to your wife about why you two are struggling to conceive.
Although, I do think you should tell her.
It's awkward and borderline unethical for me to keep that information from my own patient.
WILLIAM: My patient now.
[ Knock on door .]
[ Knock on door .]
BETTY: A backdoor man? I'm not surprised.
[ Kettle whistling .]
So, you lied to your boss.
What'd you think was gonna happen? WILLIAM: Scully knew there was a study.
BETTY: Not with people humping in it.
[ Laughter .]
So, what can I do, anyway? Get you back to the people with the watching and the timing? WILLIAM: Oh, I've been making great strides at the hospital, far beyond the observations I made here.
And I want to continue the work, only move ithere.
BETTY: With the machines and all the wires? Ugh, for the love of God.
WILLIAM: I'll pay the women what a customer would, and I'll pay the men BETTY: Nothing.
The only men here are Johns.
Johns are our living.
Johns are off limits.
WOMAN: Whoo! - WILLIAM: Women only, then.
- BETTY: Mm-hmm.
WILLIAM: Strictly for masturbation.
And I'll pay them BETTY: Double.
WILLIAM: double their usual rate.
And I'll include a free medical exam.
BETTY: I can ask Wanda.
She runs our house.
She listens to me.
But [ breathes deeply .]
only if you give me a job in your hospital.
WILLIAM: [ Chuckles .]
You? You are utterly unqualified to work in my office.
BETTY: Any respectable position will do.
- WILLIAM: In the hospital? - BETTY: Mm-hmm.
WILLIAM: But why? BETTY: It's my business why.
[ Clears throat .]
You decide if you want your study here or not.
HENRY: Mom, Miss Sickle took all my comic books away, and I was in the middle of a really good one about Fancy Fadden.
He could die, mom! VIRGINIA: Henry, I don't want to hear anymore.
This is very serious, what you've done.
Now, in what universe is it okay for you to spit on your teacher? - HENRY: She took them! - VIRGINIA: Shh! Why couldn't you think about what would happen if you had nowhere to go for three days? Sit here where I can see you, please.
ETHAN: Is that your son? VIRGINIA: That's not your business.
ETHAN: Virginia, the flowers were an apology, as was my letter, my phone calls.
All I am trying to do is tell you how genuinely sorry I am.
VIRGINIA: For what, exactly? For hitting me? For going to Scully about the study? For getting me fired? ETHAN: Bill fired you? But why? Gini, I would never go to Scully or get you fired.
I would never do anything like that.
VIRGINIA: Stay away from me.
I mean it.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Dr.
Sullivan to X-ray room 2.
WOMAN: Excuse me.
When do the job interviews start? VIRGINIA: Just give me one minute.
WILLIAM: Order two movers and a moving van for tonight, and I want it kept quiet, if you can manage that.
[ Door closes .]
VIRGINIA: Bill, I feel terrible about this, all of it, but especially about the study, and if I contributed in any way, I could never forgive myself.
But I just spoke to Ethan, and he didn't do it.
He didn't know anything about it.
[ Sighs .]
Or If this is about us and the study together then we can sort it out.
I love working here.
You know that, Bill.
Please.
Please, I need this job.
WILLIAM: You can send in the first girl.
VIRGINIA: Can I at least tell the movers what they're moving? WILLIAM: I can tell them myself.
[ Door opens, closes .]
WOMAN: I think he liked me.
Wish me luck.
WOMAN 2: Good luck.
VIRGINIA: We're going home soon.
You need to put your things back in your bag.
[ Indistinct conversation .]
Betty? [ Telephone rings .]
BETTY: Obstetrics, what can I do you for? EUNICE: "How may I be of assistance?" Miss Dimello is Dr.
Masters' hire.
BETTY: I don't know about that.
Oh.
[Clears throat.]
Hold on.
They want to know if someone got their flowers, like I'm psychic.
EUNICE: Hello? BETTY: Is that your kid? VIRGINIA: Is this your job? ETHAN: The truth is Virginia's the one missing out.
[ Sighs .]
I'm perfect for her.
And I'm not going to be on the market long.
A young doctor, smart, successful JANE: Not handsome? ETHAN: My point is there are many girls just dying for a catch like me.
For example.
JANE: I can't watch this.
ETHAN: Is this seat taken? JANE: Another lamb to slaughter.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
AUSTIN: I'm very much looking forward to this.
JANE: [ Laughs .]
Me too.
BETTY: Guess you're here for thestudy? [ Both chuckle .]
AUSTIN: Nobody told us it moved.
BETTY: Oh, it moved, all right, to a cathouse on 3rd and Sutter.
JANE: To a Oh.
AUSTIN: I'm a-afraid I don't follow.
BETTY: The higher-ups didn't appreciate the doc's vision or something like that.
JANE: But I was so excited about the study.
It seemed so important, you know? Doing something really great for science.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I was a part of something bigger.
Didn't you? AUSTIN: Bigger.
Better.
JANE: I'm sadsorry it's over.
Well I guess we'll always have Paris.
[ Chuckles .]
BETTY: You two were in Paris? AUSTIN: This cannot be happening.
[ Dramatic music plays .]
I wouldn't ask if I had anywhere else to put Henry tomorrow.
MRS.
KATCHER: [ Sighs .]
I have another job in the mornings.
I can't live on my wages here.
VIRGINIA: I didn't mean that.
MRS.
KATCHER: You haven't paid me for the past two weeks as it is.
VIRGINIA: [ Sighs .]
I'm sorry.
Of course.
I have it.
[ Clattering .]
It would only be through Friday.
MRS.
KATCHER: What happened to my raise? VIRGINIA: I haven't forgotten.
I-I was planning on starting it next week.
You really can't shift things around at your other job? Just for tomorrow? MRS.
KATCHER: You know what I do for my children? I shift my schedule to be with them.
[ Door opens, closes .]
[ Dog barks in distance .]
BETTY: Watch the rugs.
They're real Persian.
WOMAN: Hi there.
WILLIAM: Greetings.
BETTY: The doc here will talk us through it, along with a little show-and-tell to demonstrate all histricks.
So, someone hop up.
Volunteer? GINGER: Is he gonna put bolts in my neck? [ Laughter .]
BETTY: Uh, Maureen, you're a gamer.
WOMAN: Yeah, Maureen! Get up there! [ Laughter .]
WILLIAM: Thank you, Maureen.
Please lie down on the table.
This will allow me to demonstrate the basic parameter MAUREEN: [ Sighs .]
WILLIAM: [ Sighs .]
[ Laughter .]
All right, then.
Let's proceed.
MAUREEN: You're not gonna climb up here with me? WILLIAM: I'm not.
Uh, this is an electrocardiogram.
Uh, basically a transthoracic interpretation of cardiac activity.
And this is an electroencephalogram, or E.
E.
G.
, which measures current flow in the neurons in the brain.
BETTY: Basically, a big pile of spaghetti.
[ Laughter .]
WILLIAM: Well, spaghetti that allows me to scientifically chart emergent patterns of human sexual response.
DOTTIE: Can it fix headaches? I-I feel like I got a big meat cleaver right here.
GINGER: I wrenched my back twice last week.
SHIRLEY: It's like razor blades when I pee.
WILLIAM: We can attend to your medical concerns in the physical exam.
But, uh, continuing with the study for a moment, um, this device is used for both stimulation and viewing.
MAUREEN: Like a coochie flashlight? WILLIAM: Uh OFFICER: Hats and boots, ladies.
We're coming in.
OFFICER 2: Round them up.
Let's go.
WILLIAM: Uh, good evening.
OFFICER: Don't catch a chill, now.
OFFICER 2: Truck's outside, ladies.
OFFICER: Johns are going in, too, buddy.
WILLIAM: I understand I understand your confusion.
- I'm not a John I'm a doctor.
- OFFICER: Of course you are.
OFFICER 2: Yeah, yeah.
There you go.
I know ETHAN: If you relax, it's fun and sexy.
CONNIE: You've done this with other girls? ETHAN: I'm here with you.
It's you I want.
CONNIE: I guess you do.
ETHAN: Think of it as a kiss.
answer, and I know CONNIE: [ Chuckles .]
But isn't the normal way just to, you know, put it in me? ETHAN: We will.
We'll do that.
We're playing first.
right now CONNIE: But mother always said not to put anything in your mouth if you don't know where it's been.
ETHAN: Well,this has been here since birth.
But Let me do it to you first Show you how good it feels.
CONNIE: Uh! With your mouth? Right on it? All right, I'll do you first, okay? ETHAN: [ Sighs .]
No, I-I don't think you're okay.
CONNIE: No.
N-no, I'm fine.
Here.
I know VIRGINIA: [ Sighs .]
Hold on to your hat.
go my way CONNIE: I'm sorry.
I just can't.
I'm willing to, you know, go all the way.
W-why isn't that enough? ETHAN: It is.
It is.
It's fine.
Let's just, um Let's get you dressed, huh? So I can take you home.
I know [ Indistinct conversations .]
[ Door slides shut .]
- WOMAN: How long? - WOMAN 2: How much longer? WOMAN: Come on! CHIEF DUNCAN: Bill? For Christ's sake! I mean, I'm flattered to be your first call and all.
WILLIAM: I need a favor, Sam.
CHIEF DUNCAN: No kidding.
Look, I can have the bail waived, but I don't think you needed the police chief for that.
WILLIAM: Not that.
Somethingbigger.
CHIEF DUNCAN: My wife would change the locks if she knew I refused you a favor.
It's the only reason I'm agreeing to this.
You know, Flo still crows to everyone how, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't even have kids.
WILLIAM: How is Dennis, Jack, and little Sandy? CHIEF DUNCAN: [ Chuckles .]
Well, you got my nuts in a cup on this one, but I don't think it's gonna go so easy with her.
WILLIAM: I can drive if you want.
WILLIAM: I can drive if you want.
LIBBY: No thanks.
I would prefer control of the wheel in case I decide to veer your side of the car into a tree.
WILLIAM: Lib, I wasn't in that brothel as a customer.
LIBBY: [ Chuckles .]
You were repairing their heating? WILLIAM: [ Sighs .]
Remember I told you I was, uh, starting a study in human sexuality? LIBBY: Yes, you were characteristically vague.
WILLIAM: Well, tonight I was simply using the brothel as a working laboratory.
But only because the study was thrown out of the hospital.
LIBBY: You were thrown out of maternity? WILLIAM: The study was, which was a gross overreaction on Scully's part only because I was using human subjects and progressing on to couples' work.
LIBBY: People were having sex in front of you? WILLIAM: Well, not the prostitutes.
The prostitutes only masturbate in front of me while I watch the monitors, in order to gather together physiological data.
LIBBY: Why didn't you tell me this? Youwatching people have sex thing? That you're working in a brothel? Why don't you tell me anything? WILLIAM: I tell you almost everything.
LIBBY: No, you tell me to schedule dinner with visiting faculty.
WILLIAM: I didn't mention it because I thought you might judge it harshly.
LIBBY: Part of me wonders if it's something at home that makes you drawn to this? WILLIAM: Lib, how can you even say LIBBY: But then the other part of me knows you, and I know what you will do for your work, what you'll do in the pursuit of it.
It just seems to me that any study that lands you in jail is probably not a study that is good for your career.
WILLIAM: Unless it is my career.
WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Wheelchair assistant to the E.
R.
waiting room.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Wheelchair assistant to the E.
R.
waiting room.
VIRGINIA: Here's money for a snack.
All homework must be finished before - HENRY: Before comics, I know.
- VIRGINIA: Yes, sit here.
I'll check on you in an hour.
Do not budge until then.
HENRY: Okay.
VIRGINIA: Hello, Betty.
BETTY: Cute kid.
VIRGINIA: He'd be cuter if he hadn't gotten suspended.
BETTY: Oh, probably just cutting his teeth.
I'm impressed that you convinced Dr.
Masters to get you a job.
He doesn't do many people favors.
BETTY: I struck a bargain.
He's such a nut for that stupid study, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
Is that why, uh, you weren't at the brothel last night? You were dealing with your kid? VIRGINIA: Dr.
Masters has been very good about giving me time off.
BETTY: Well, you better get back there fast.
He really needs your help.
WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Nurse Carlisle, please call the switchboard.
Nurse Carlisle, please call the switchboard.
JANE: You snuck up on me.
How are you? AUSTIN: Now that I see you, great.
But horrible before.
Very up-and-down.
Do you mind? JANE: No, of course not.
Sit.
You look AUSTIN: I'm a lot of things at the moment.
Preoccupied.
There's so much to think about, like what you said about the study our contribution to science being cut off so abruptly.
It justseems a real shame.
JANE: Now, that's just how I feel.
AUSTIN: I also keep thinking It's not like Bill Masters holds the key to all scientific advancement.
I mean, after all, I'm also a doctor.
- JANE: Right, bones, or - AUSTIN: Orthopedics.
My point is we can still continue the study, j-just the two of us.
JANE: You mean have sex together.
AUSTIN: Sure.
Why not? JANE: Because you're married.
AUSTIN: Yeah, okay, yes, but I was also married when I was in the study.
JANE: We were in the study because it was for science.
AUSTIN: This is also for science Just more like home studies.
ETHAN: If you were having a contest for the most sexually adventurous girl in the hospital, who would win? JANE: That's a dumb game.
ETHAN: Play anyway.
AUSTIN: Do you mind? ETHAN: You play, too, since you certainly know the field.
Who would you say? JANE: [ Clears throat .]
Don't answer that.
Any guess would be based on idle gossip, which is often inaccurate and always mean.
ETHAN: Gossip's been around thousands of years for a reason.
Austin? AUSTIN: Jesus Christ, Ethan.
Gobother Bernadette.
ETHAN: Oh, I don't know Bernadette.
JANE: She works in food and beverage.
AUSTIN: And Daniels in radiology has assured me she's pretty much a total sl ETHAN: Is that true? Is she a total slut? JANE: I am not having this discussion.
ETHAN: But how slutty, exactly? AUSTIN: You find out for yourself.
I'm in the middle of a serious conversation with Jane.
JANE: And I was perfectly happy here reading without either of you.
[ Sighs .]
AUSTIN: "The Second Sex"? Is that book as, uh thought-provoking as it sounds? JANE: Oh, yes.
Would you like to hear? - ETHAN: I would.
Yeah.
- AUSTIN: Yeah.
Yeah.
JANE: Then listen carefully.
"One day, it will be possible "for a woman to love from her strength and not her weakness.
"Not to escape from herself, but to find herself.
"Not out of resignation, but to affirm herself.
"Only then will love become for her as it is for the man a source of life and not a mortal danger.
" AUSTIN: What?! BARTON: Hello, Bill.
Guess you can't dodge me forever.
You know, uh, I heard a hell of a rumor.
I hope to God it's not true.
WILLIAM: God rarely intervenes in gossip.
BARTON: Did you move that study of yours to a cathouse on the corner of 3rd and Sutter? WILLIAM: I see you've been chatting up our new receptionist.
BARTON: You're out of your mind! WILLIAM: Wherever we've moved, it's your doing.
BARTON: Oh, no, no.
Don't lay this one at my feet.
I know you're angry, you feel I'm being unnecessarily harsh, but I didn't spend 15 years grooming your career so you could piss it away on hookers! WILLIAM: Then let the study back into the hospital.
BARTON: Well, get rid of the live-couples act, and I'll consider it.
Let the study back into the hospital with no restrictions.
BARTON: I just gave you my restrictions.
WILLIAM: Let the study back into the hospital with no restrictions and additional funding.
BARTON: [ Chuckles .]
That's not how you bargain.
WILLIAM: I'm not bargaining.
BARTON: See, this is your problem.
You know that.
You put on a suit of armor to attack a plate of whipped cream.
WILLIAM: [ Chuckles .]
Whipped cream, my ass.
VIRGINIA: This only just came up at the last moment.
HENRY: But you promised! VIRGINIA: I didn't know that I had to work tonight.
But it's the very last issue of Race to Space! I want to read it with you.
VIRGINIA: You will.
Henry, we will read it together, I promise.
Tonight just got a little complicated.
HENRY: [ Grunts .]
It's always complicated.
[ Insects chirping .]
[ Brakes squeal .]
VIRGINIA: This is either the smartest or the stupidest thing I've ever done.
BETTY: Where'd you stash the kids? VIRGINIA: At home with the babysitter, who informed me she's quitting.
Something about me being an unfit mother.
BETTY: Mm.
Everyone's a critic.
Uh, we probably got some time before the doc arrives.
I can gather the girls.
VIRGINIA: It's just like a regular kitchen.
Sorry.
I've never been in a brothel before.
BETTY: Normally, we got naked coochies lined up along the sink, but it's slow.
VIRGINIA: See, this works better if we have a schedule.
So, we will switch off between the study that's with the wires and Dr.
Masters monitoring, taking measurements DOTTIE: I haven't seen a doctor in years, so that's why I'm doing this, but MAUREEN: No, I've decided I'm out.
VIRGINIA: But why? Why not participate? MAUREEN: Because it's weird.
He's weird.
- And, plus, it seems like - WILLIAM: What is she doing here? BETTY: Saving your bacon.
VIRGINIA: That's not true.
It's a fair trade.
He even paid for your time last night.
And the real truth is People are clueless about sex.
You ladies, you're the experts.
Dr.
Masters was smart enough to see that if he's going to help educate people about sex, he should first come to you.
He should learn from the best.
MAUREEN: [ Chuckles .]
Could fill a book with what we know.
DOTTIE: Well, maybe it can even help people, a study like that.
Maybe it can even help the doc have sex himself.
[ Laughter .]
MAUREEN: He reminds me of that one John who used to screw with his shoes on.
DOTTIE: You think he ever takes his bow tie off? VIRGINIA: He's the best women's doctor in the midwest.
Trust me If you need help, you can count on him.
MAUREEN: Oh, the midwest miracle, now.
WILLIAM: Ladies.
Betty will gather the others so we can begin, but I do have some news.
I've struck a deal with the chief of police.
As long as I'm working here, you will be spared any and all police interference.
VIRGINIA: No more raids.
MAUREEN: [ Clucks tongue .]
Oh! BERNADETTE: [ Moaning .]
[ Horn honks .]
ETHAN: Oh, geez! Sorry! BERNADETTE: Flip me over.
Take me from behind.
ETHAN: Okay.
[ Grunting .]
BERNADETTE: You like it in the rear? ETHAN: Uh, you mean the back seat? BERNADETTE: No, in my rear.
ETHAN: Oh, uhNo, this is fine.
BERNADETTE: It's more than fine.
I'm right there! I'm right there again! [ Screams .]
[ Both laughing .]
ETHAN: Yes, um My back is kind of cramping.
BERNADETTE: Looks like someone's a little out of gas.
ETHAN: [ Chuckles .]
Sorry.
BERNADETTE: Don't worry.
I can blow that back into fighting shape in no time.
ETHAN: Whoa.
[ Chuckles .]
[ Breathing heavily .]
VIRGINIA: Does it feel good? BERNADETTE: Faster? Slower? I can do both.
ETHAN: Uh.
[ Chuckles .]
Either is fine, thanks.
[ Chuckles .]
[ Electricity crackling .]
DOTTIE: My mother died of a brain tumor, so when I started getting headaches, I knew.
WILLIAM: How many fingers? DOTTIE: Three? - WILLIAM: How many now? - DOTTIE: Three.
[ Voice breaking .]
I was only 12 when she died.
S-s-she suffered so badly.
I'm afraid of dying like that.
WILLIAM: I have to do some research, but until then, do you know the expression "don't borrow trouble"? DOTTIE: Mm-hmm.
WILLIAM: Don't.
[ Knock at door .]
VIRGINIA: Here's the schedule for the rest of the week.
I've condensed the physical exams down to tonight and tomorrow.
The rest of the nights are for the study.
You now have 19 of the women signed up and ready to go.
You didn't ask me here tonight, Bill.
WILLIAM: I'm aware of that.
Thank you for handling the girls.
You can go now.
VIRGINIA: [ Sighs .]
[ Door slams shut .]
WILLIAM: [ Sighs .]
Betty.
Betty! [ Footsteps, door opens .]
BETTY: Men get to yell in here for one reason and one reason only.
WILLIAM: Where's the next girl? BETTY: Ask nicely, and I'll tell you.
WILLIAM: [ Softly .]
Where's the next girl? BETTY: We're done, except I want to ask you something a request.
WILLIAM: It's irresponsible, not to mention stupid.
Why would you want to reverse your tubal ligation? BETTY: I don't know, genius.
To have kids? WILLIAM: But why on God's earth would you want to have kids? You're a lesbian and a prostitute! BETTY: A little respect.
WILLIAM: You didn't answer the question.
BETTY: Again, that's my business.
WILLIAM: No! It's my business if you're asking me to operate on you! BETTY: I'd like it done sooner rather than later.
WILLIAM: I'm not doing it at all! BETTY: [ Scoffs .]
WILLIAM: Hey.
Hey! Do you know how much that costs?! BETTY: Not much busted.
It's like this The girls think you're odd.
They'd be glad to see your shit on the sidewalk, which is where it will be.
WILLIAM: So you're just gonna blackmail me every time you want something? BETTY: Look at that.
You're smart after all.
LIBBY: How's it going with the study? WILLIAM: [ Sighs .]
Fine.
LIBBY: What did you do tonight? WILLIAM: [ Inhales deeply .]
I'm still setting it up.
LIBBY: That doesn't paint much of a picture.
WILLIAM: All right, apart of my arrangement, uh, in terms of having the study there LIBBY: At the brothel? WILLIAM: At the brothel, is the girls get free medical care.
I looked at one girl's tonsils tonight.
They need to come out.
Another girl had bunions.
LIBBY: Where? WILLIAM: Where did she ha [ Chuckles .]
No naked bodies, no sex.
Tonight was simply paying the piper.
LIBBY: But when you do watch, it must besexy.
WILLIAM: It's work.
LIBBY: It's not even a tiny bit erotic? WILLIAM: Why are you asking me? LIBBY: Because I'm asking if you like to watch.
[ Sighs .]
Because if you do [ sighs .]
You can watch me.
WILLIAM: Lib, don't.
Don't.
I love you too much.
You don't have to do this.
[ Birds chirping .]
[ Elevator bell dings .]
EUNICE: Mrs.
Johnson, I left the next batch of secretarial candidates in the office.
VIRGINIA: Thank you.
EUNICE: Has Dr.
Masters liked none of the applicants? VIRGINIA: Uh, he's extremely particular.
EUNICE: He's gonna have to land on someone eventually.
Isn't he? [ Elevator bell dings .]
WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Dr.
Schaefer Dr.
Schaefer VIRGINIA: Ladies, I'm afraid I have bad news.
The position has been filled.
[ Women sigh .]
WOMAN: That's disappointing.
VIRGINIA: Sorry about the job.
PAM: I had fingers crossed and everything.
But, thanks.
It's not your fault.
VIRGINIA: I looked at your résumé.
Have you ever considered a position caring for children? WILLIAM: Ah.
Coffee's ready.
Mwah! Mwah! I've been thinking about you about us, in fact.
LIBBY: Aren't you late for work? WILLIAM: Uh, I may have told you much of my recent research suggests stress might play a significant role in fertility.
So, it occurred to me, uh, there's no reason why we can't do the capping right here, at home.
So, I'll take your temperature this morning, and if we're good to go, I can cap you in your own bedroom.
Uh, you can rest here, comfortably, all day.
I can check in on you at lunchtime.
- LIBBY: Bill - WILLIAM: I'm happy to do it.
LIBBY: I want Ethan back as my doctor.
- WILLIAM: That's not gonna happen.
- LIBBY: Why not? Ethan is an excellent doctor, and you have said yourself that he's your protégé.
It's what I want.
And to be honest, I don't know why he was taken off my case to begin with.
- WILLIAM: You're my wife.
- LIBBY: Exactly.
And we need to keep our home and thisproblem of ours separate.
WILLIAM: Libby, I cannot abide it.
I am the better doctor.
If you don't want the capping here, that's fine.
The the hospital is also good.
[ Breathes deeply .]
LIBBY: I want Ethan.
Bill I wake up and try and be happy and hopeful every day, but I also know that I am barren, and that the most basic thing in a woman's life is [ Sighs .]
I can't fail you as both a wife and a patient.
I love you too much for that.
WILLIAM: All right.
I need some good news.
VIRGINIA: Well, you might consider this good.
I thought about your proposal, the two of us in the study, together, and I think it's a good idea.
It's good for the study, and it's good for science.
It's also good for something else.
[ Door opens .]
If you can sign these, I can get them out by tonight.
WILLIAM: Where's the next secretarial candidate? VIRGINIA: There isn't one.
H.
R.
's been very slow sending them out today.
WILLIAM: I need you to talk to Betty tonight.
VIRGINIA: About? WILLIAM: She has some harebrained idea about undergoing a tubal reversal.
I told her it's ridiculous, but I can't outright refuse her.
VIRGINIA: Because? WILLIAM: Just talk her out of it.
You have children.
Explain to her how hopelessly ill-equipped she is to undertake such an enormous responsibility.
[ Door closes .]
DOTTIE: The headaches are worse today.
I know what you're gonna say, and it's okay.
It's scary, but I've had an okay life.
[ Breathing quickly .]
WILLIAM: How many fingers? DOTTIE: Oh, my God.
Four.
WILLIAM: Four.
You just needed glasses That's all.
You're gonna be fine.
DOTTIE: [ Crying .]
WILLIAM: Now, now, now.
That That just fogs up the lenses.
DOTTIE: You saved my life.
WILLIAM: I saved your eyes Which is still impressive, given my last class in ophthalmology was 16 years ago.
DOTTIE: How can I pay you back? Would you like a blow job? It's on the house.
WILLIAM: UhThank you.
No, but thank you.
[ Footsteps .]
BETTY: He should give you a raise.
VIRGINIA: Dr.
Masters said that you're considering a tubal reversal.
BETTY: Not considering.
Either he does it or I kick his study onto the street.
He asked you to talk me out of it.
[ Laughs .]
Such a putz.
VIRGINIA: I think his concern is this isn't the best environment to raise a child.
BETTY: A whorehouse? You think? [ Sighs .]
I met a guy at, um at church, of all places.
[ Sighs .]
We became friendly, and I'm thinking, "He doesn't know what I do, so, sure, I seem like a nice girl.
" Then, he asked me to dinner.
[ Laughs .]
[ Laughing .]
His His car is very fancy, and that's when I get it out of him.
He he's rich.
He made a fortune in pretzels.
[ Sighs .]
He's the Pretzel King.
VIRGINIA: The original Pretzel King? BETTY: [ Laughs .]
He wants to marry me, a nice girl who works in a hospital and [ sighs .]
have a bunch of kids.
It turns out he's crazy about me.
VIRGINIA: Uh, but I thought you were crazy about Helen.
BETTY: I-I love Helen, but [ sighs .]
she understands why I'm doing this, and s-she wants what's best for me.
VIRGINIA: But is it really what's best for children? I mean, I have them.
I know what it's like to raise them alone.
BETTY: I wouldn't be alone.
VIRGINIA: When everything with this guy goes perfectly, which it always does.
BETTY: This is a shot at something good and normal maybe even happy.
Why shouldn't I take it? VIRGINIA: Well, you shouldn't take it lightly.
Kids are incredibly tough.
BETTY: Well, why'd you have them if they're such a burden? VIRGINIA: [ Sighs .]
I Because I knew that I would feel like a failure if I didn't have children.
And I also knew If I'm being perfectly honest, I-I knew that they would probably be the only thing I could truly love.
BETTY: So You deserve that, and I don't.
WILLIAM: What are you saying? VIRGINIA: I'm saying you should reconsider the surgery.
WILLIAM: I told you to talk her out of it.
VIRGINIA: She's met a man and wants children.
WILLIAM: Of course she's met a man.
She's met hundreds of men.
Why would this one be any different? VIRGINIA: Why are you asking, Bill? This doesn't even sound like you.
How many times have you said, "When it comes to science, there's no room for God? "Science simply is.
"The data tells the story and should be free of all judgment and all censor"? Isn't that why you refuse to give up on your study? Because you believe in this journey and following the science, no matter where it leads? [ Breathes deeply .]
I know you're keeping me hanging deliberately punishing me for my transgressions, which I probably deserve, but Can we speak honestly about what's really going on here? WILLIAM: I don't follow.
VIRGINIA: Well, the truth is, you need me in the study.
And you know it.
So, am I rehired? Yes or no? WILLIAM: You have a job tomorrow.
Beyond that, I really can't tell the future.
[ Door opens, closes .]
PAM: They were a dream, really.
Tess and I played dolls.
Miss Revlon won the swimsuit competition.
And Henry and I had the greatest time.
VIRGINIA: He didn't hound you about his comics? PAM: Oh, he did all night.
So, we read the last issue of "Race to Space" together.
It was so good! [ Sighs .]
What a story The future of science and all.
It was so riveting.
I'm gonna get the entire series for my nephew.
You have the nicest kids, Virginia, despite what that teacher says.
VIRGINIA: [ Chuckles .]
PAM: So, tomorrow? VIRGINIA: Late.
I have to work again.
PAM: That's fine with me.
- VIRGINIA: Thank you.
- PAM: See you tomorrow.
[ James Blake's "Retrograde" plays .]
[ Humming .]
VIRGINIA: "On Earth, he had been different.
Others had not understood him.
He had been lonely.
" "But now he found himself between worlds "the Earth, a tiny dot behind him, the Moon, a tiny dot ahead.
" [ Insects chirping .]
"When he got to the Moon, "would it be everything he dreamed of, and would it be worth everything he had left behind?" [ Humming continues .]
You're on your own In a world you've grown A few years to go Don't let the hurdle fall So be the girl you loved Be the girl you loved I'll wait So show me while you're strong Ignore everybody else We're alone now I'll wait So show me while you're strong Ignore everybody else
Oh, my God! If you really want to learn about sex, then you're gonna have to get yourself a female partner.
VIRGINIA: Dr.
Masters.
We haven't yet met.
- WILLIAM: Are you here to interview? - VIRGINIA: Can you squeeze me in now? ETHAN: All I could think about the entire drive home was kissing you.
VIRGINIA: Well, friends can kiss.
ETHAN: All I do know for sure is I am going to marry that woman.
WILLIAM: My wife is coming in next week.
ETHAN: There is no way the great Bill Masters is going to admit he's shooting blanks.
LIBBY: [ Crying .]
Why can't I give my husband a child? WILLIAM: Yet we sit huddled in the dark like prudish cavemen, filled with shame, when the truth is, nobody understands sex.
And science holds the key.
JANE: The provost of the entire university will be watching me.
VIRGINIA: He's not watching you.
He's watching science.
BARTON: Well, it's a remarkable feat.
WILLIAM: The phase we're considering you for is couples.
AUSTIN: Coup Couples? Nice to meet you.
I'm, uhanonymous.
JANE: I'm anonymous, too.
[ Both laugh .]
VIRGINIA: You are my friend.
ETHAN: Oh, Jesus Christ.
Do not say "friend.
" VIRGINIA: You are! You are my friend! ETHAN: Friends don't fuck.
VIRGINIA: I'm sorry that I hurt you.
That was never my intention.
WILLIAM: We're going to be watching couples have sex, the likelihood of us transferring all this libidinous energy onto our patients is high.
Why don't you just come out and say whatever it is you're trying to say? WILLIAM: We should undertake the research with each other.
VIRGINIA: Can I take the weekend to think about this? WILLIAM: Of course.
[ Slow music plays .]
VIRGINIA: Cereal and orange juice! Or toast! TESSA: Okay! HENRY: Tessa, get out of my way! TESSA: Stop pushing, Henry! VIRGINIA: I thought that we could discuss your proposition, if that's what we're calling it [ Sighs .]
I would like to clear this up.
I did take the weekend, as I said I would, to consider your proposal, and I've come to the conclusion that it was an unreasonable request on your part.
And so my answer is no.
[ Sighs .]
Come on, sweet angel Take me to You're old enough to pour your own cereal, Henry.
HENRY: Captain Kai is moving number 1 prisoner, Top Knot, - to the Space Pad.
- VIRGINIA: That's good news.
You both need to finish your juice.
Tess, you, too, please.
I just wanted to say thank you for your offer.
Your proposal is an interesting one, us in the study together.
Although it does put me in a curious predicament.
I'm intrigued.
This work is compelling and relevant, and I do feel that I can make a real contribution WILLIAM: Yes or no, Virginia? I'm busy.
HENRY: Mom, Sergeant Bully Black has forbidden prisoner Top Knot to enter the Ion Chamber.
Mom? VIRGINIA: Sweetheart, we're going to miss the bus.
HENRY: It's why he goes to the Space Rail.
To cool down.
Then he finds a boy, Joey, a stowaway.
Mom? VIRGINIA: Hurry up.
Let's go! [ Door closes .]
Thank you! Go on, Tess.
HENRY: And, mom, the best part is Captain Kai gives the boy Joey a real stun gun.
[ Groans .]
I was trying to tell you! VIRGINIA: Now I'm going to miss my bus, Henry.
Here, dear.
HENRY: I'll take these.
VIRGINIA: Okay, have a good day.
Take this.
HENRY: You, too.
Ugh.
Now I have to ride in the back.
VIRGINIA: I've thought about your proposal, and if saying no means losing my job, then I'll do it, although the truth is, I'd rather not, and not because I don't think highly of you and respect you enormously.
I do.
But [ Inhales deeply .]
Such an unconventional arrangement it could jeopardize my position here, and I care about this job.
I don't want to ruin it by complicating it.
I hope you can understand that.
[ Door opens, closes .]
Good morning.
Coffee's hot.
The American Obstetrics Dinner is Thursday.
You're speaking last.
I have your notes.
Senator Ronson called twice this morning and said he will only speak to you.
And, also, I wouldn't mind a moment of your time.
[ Clears throat .]
I-I've thought about your proposal of of the two of us participating in the study together.
WILLIAM: No, there is no study.
VIRGINIA: There WILLIAM: I've just returned from provost Scully's office.
He informed me that someone told him that my sex study had progressed to copulation between couples, which incensed the provost to such a degree that he shut down my study as of this morning.
VIRGINIA: Well, who would ever WILLIAM: I warned you about sleeping with Haas.
I told you it was dangerous and unprofessional.
I also warned you about discussing the study with him, yet you did both, knowing the risk involved.
VIRGINIA: Ethan would never WILLIAM: You defied me! You jeopardized the study.
So, as a result, you're fired.
I've called human resources.
I expect you to sit at your desk until your replacement is hired, at which time, you'll be terminated from the hospital staff entirely.
[ Telephone ringing .]
VIRGINIA: [ Breathing heavily .]
Dr.
Masters' office.
WOMAN: May I speak to Mrs.
Johnson, please? VIRGINIA: Yes, this is Mrs.
Johnson.
[ Woman speaking indistinctly .]
H-Henry's been suspended? LIBBY: Oh, if you would, Ethan, I'm not WILLIAM: I'm not with Ethan.
Go ahead.
Get on your gown, so we can talk.
LIBBY: I was going to come by your office.
WILLIAM: I want to talk to you in here, since I'm now the one that's treating you.
LIBBY: You? What happened to Ethan? WILLIAM: Dr.
Haas is not the best fertility doctor in the midwest.
I am.
Shouldn't my wife have the very best? LIBBY: I-I don't understand.
When did this happen? Why? WILLIAM: It's important for me to know that I'm doing everything I can for you, for us to give us a family.
So, we need to do a blood panel.
LIBBY: Ethan did a blood panel WILLIAM: Another blood panel.
The progesterone anluteinizing hormone are repeated each cycle.
We'll finish the tests today.
We'll do the cervical capping tomorrow.
I want you on your back for 16 hours this time, feet in stirrups.
A sedative will help with the discomfort.
VIRGINIA: All right.
Maybe, in a strange way, it's romantic the two of us, together, making a baby through science.
WILLIAM: We'll start with a vaginal swab in preparation for the saline douche, just like an evening of dinner and dancing.
LIBBY: [ Laughs .]
This is hardly my best dancing dress, but At least it's us.
[ Door opens .]
WILLIAM: Actually, Miss Grand is on duty.
Yeah, uh A nurse is perfectly capable of handling this part of the procedure.
I have an appointment this morning, but I'll check in on you later I promise.
[ Smooches .]
I'm happy about this.
LIBBY: Mm.
[ Door closes .]
MISS GRAND: Ready, Mrs.
Masters? WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Dr.
Martin, please call the pharmacy.
Dr.
Martin, please call the pharmacy.
ETHAN: Why was I taken off your wife's case? [ Breathes sharply .]
Fine.
I'll ask her myself.
WILLIAM: You will not.
Instead, you will do well to remember your career is in my hands.
ETHAN: What are you talking about? WILLIAM: You're indiscreet and untrustworthy, two things I will not tolerate.
ETHAN: I-is this about your sperm count? Because I have said nothing to your wife about why you two are struggling to conceive.
Although, I do think you should tell her.
It's awkward and borderline unethical for me to keep that information from my own patient.
WILLIAM: My patient now.
[ Knock on door .]
[ Knock on door .]
BETTY: A backdoor man? I'm not surprised.
[ Kettle whistling .]
So, you lied to your boss.
What'd you think was gonna happen? WILLIAM: Scully knew there was a study.
BETTY: Not with people humping in it.
[ Laughter .]
So, what can I do, anyway? Get you back to the people with the watching and the timing? WILLIAM: Oh, I've been making great strides at the hospital, far beyond the observations I made here.
And I want to continue the work, only move ithere.
BETTY: With the machines and all the wires? Ugh, for the love of God.
WILLIAM: I'll pay the women what a customer would, and I'll pay the men BETTY: Nothing.
The only men here are Johns.
Johns are our living.
Johns are off limits.
WOMAN: Whoo! - WILLIAM: Women only, then.
- BETTY: Mm-hmm.
WILLIAM: Strictly for masturbation.
And I'll pay them BETTY: Double.
WILLIAM: double their usual rate.
And I'll include a free medical exam.
BETTY: I can ask Wanda.
She runs our house.
She listens to me.
But [ breathes deeply .]
only if you give me a job in your hospital.
WILLIAM: [ Chuckles .]
You? You are utterly unqualified to work in my office.
BETTY: Any respectable position will do.
- WILLIAM: In the hospital? - BETTY: Mm-hmm.
WILLIAM: But why? BETTY: It's my business why.
[ Clears throat .]
You decide if you want your study here or not.
HENRY: Mom, Miss Sickle took all my comic books away, and I was in the middle of a really good one about Fancy Fadden.
He could die, mom! VIRGINIA: Henry, I don't want to hear anymore.
This is very serious, what you've done.
Now, in what universe is it okay for you to spit on your teacher? - HENRY: She took them! - VIRGINIA: Shh! Why couldn't you think about what would happen if you had nowhere to go for three days? Sit here where I can see you, please.
ETHAN: Is that your son? VIRGINIA: That's not your business.
ETHAN: Virginia, the flowers were an apology, as was my letter, my phone calls.
All I am trying to do is tell you how genuinely sorry I am.
VIRGINIA: For what, exactly? For hitting me? For going to Scully about the study? For getting me fired? ETHAN: Bill fired you? But why? Gini, I would never go to Scully or get you fired.
I would never do anything like that.
VIRGINIA: Stay away from me.
I mean it.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Dr.
Sullivan to X-ray room 2.
WOMAN: Excuse me.
When do the job interviews start? VIRGINIA: Just give me one minute.
WILLIAM: Order two movers and a moving van for tonight, and I want it kept quiet, if you can manage that.
[ Door closes .]
VIRGINIA: Bill, I feel terrible about this, all of it, but especially about the study, and if I contributed in any way, I could never forgive myself.
But I just spoke to Ethan, and he didn't do it.
He didn't know anything about it.
[ Sighs .]
Or If this is about us and the study together then we can sort it out.
I love working here.
You know that, Bill.
Please.
Please, I need this job.
WILLIAM: You can send in the first girl.
VIRGINIA: Can I at least tell the movers what they're moving? WILLIAM: I can tell them myself.
[ Door opens, closes .]
WOMAN: I think he liked me.
Wish me luck.
WOMAN 2: Good luck.
VIRGINIA: We're going home soon.
You need to put your things back in your bag.
[ Indistinct conversation .]
Betty? [ Telephone rings .]
BETTY: Obstetrics, what can I do you for? EUNICE: "How may I be of assistance?" Miss Dimello is Dr.
Masters' hire.
BETTY: I don't know about that.
Oh.
[Clears throat.]
Hold on.
They want to know if someone got their flowers, like I'm psychic.
EUNICE: Hello? BETTY: Is that your kid? VIRGINIA: Is this your job? ETHAN: The truth is Virginia's the one missing out.
[ Sighs .]
I'm perfect for her.
And I'm not going to be on the market long.
A young doctor, smart, successful JANE: Not handsome? ETHAN: My point is there are many girls just dying for a catch like me.
For example.
JANE: I can't watch this.
ETHAN: Is this seat taken? JANE: Another lamb to slaughter.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
AUSTIN: I'm very much looking forward to this.
JANE: [ Laughs .]
Me too.
BETTY: Guess you're here for thestudy? [ Both chuckle .]
AUSTIN: Nobody told us it moved.
BETTY: Oh, it moved, all right, to a cathouse on 3rd and Sutter.
JANE: To a Oh.
AUSTIN: I'm a-afraid I don't follow.
BETTY: The higher-ups didn't appreciate the doc's vision or something like that.
JANE: But I was so excited about the study.
It seemed so important, you know? Doing something really great for science.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I was a part of something bigger.
Didn't you? AUSTIN: Bigger.
Better.
JANE: I'm sadsorry it's over.
Well I guess we'll always have Paris.
[ Chuckles .]
BETTY: You two were in Paris? AUSTIN: This cannot be happening.
[ Dramatic music plays .]
I wouldn't ask if I had anywhere else to put Henry tomorrow.
MRS.
KATCHER: [ Sighs .]
I have another job in the mornings.
I can't live on my wages here.
VIRGINIA: I didn't mean that.
MRS.
KATCHER: You haven't paid me for the past two weeks as it is.
VIRGINIA: [ Sighs .]
I'm sorry.
Of course.
I have it.
[ Clattering .]
It would only be through Friday.
MRS.
KATCHER: What happened to my raise? VIRGINIA: I haven't forgotten.
I-I was planning on starting it next week.
You really can't shift things around at your other job? Just for tomorrow? MRS.
KATCHER: You know what I do for my children? I shift my schedule to be with them.
[ Door opens, closes .]
[ Dog barks in distance .]
BETTY: Watch the rugs.
They're real Persian.
WOMAN: Hi there.
WILLIAM: Greetings.
BETTY: The doc here will talk us through it, along with a little show-and-tell to demonstrate all histricks.
So, someone hop up.
Volunteer? GINGER: Is he gonna put bolts in my neck? [ Laughter .]
BETTY: Uh, Maureen, you're a gamer.
WOMAN: Yeah, Maureen! Get up there! [ Laughter .]
WILLIAM: Thank you, Maureen.
Please lie down on the table.
This will allow me to demonstrate the basic parameter MAUREEN: [ Sighs .]
WILLIAM: [ Sighs .]
[ Laughter .]
All right, then.
Let's proceed.
MAUREEN: You're not gonna climb up here with me? WILLIAM: I'm not.
Uh, this is an electrocardiogram.
Uh, basically a transthoracic interpretation of cardiac activity.
And this is an electroencephalogram, or E.
E.
G.
, which measures current flow in the neurons in the brain.
BETTY: Basically, a big pile of spaghetti.
[ Laughter .]
WILLIAM: Well, spaghetti that allows me to scientifically chart emergent patterns of human sexual response.
DOTTIE: Can it fix headaches? I-I feel like I got a big meat cleaver right here.
GINGER: I wrenched my back twice last week.
SHIRLEY: It's like razor blades when I pee.
WILLIAM: We can attend to your medical concerns in the physical exam.
But, uh, continuing with the study for a moment, um, this device is used for both stimulation and viewing.
MAUREEN: Like a coochie flashlight? WILLIAM: Uh OFFICER: Hats and boots, ladies.
We're coming in.
OFFICER 2: Round them up.
Let's go.
WILLIAM: Uh, good evening.
OFFICER: Don't catch a chill, now.
OFFICER 2: Truck's outside, ladies.
OFFICER: Johns are going in, too, buddy.
WILLIAM: I understand I understand your confusion.
- I'm not a John I'm a doctor.
- OFFICER: Of course you are.
OFFICER 2: Yeah, yeah.
There you go.
I know ETHAN: If you relax, it's fun and sexy.
CONNIE: You've done this with other girls? ETHAN: I'm here with you.
It's you I want.
CONNIE: I guess you do.
ETHAN: Think of it as a kiss.
answer, and I know CONNIE: [ Chuckles .]
But isn't the normal way just to, you know, put it in me? ETHAN: We will.
We'll do that.
We're playing first.
right now CONNIE: But mother always said not to put anything in your mouth if you don't know where it's been.
ETHAN: Well,this has been here since birth.
But Let me do it to you first Show you how good it feels.
CONNIE: Uh! With your mouth? Right on it? All right, I'll do you first, okay? ETHAN: [ Sighs .]
No, I-I don't think you're okay.
CONNIE: No.
N-no, I'm fine.
Here.
I know VIRGINIA: [ Sighs .]
Hold on to your hat.
go my way CONNIE: I'm sorry.
I just can't.
I'm willing to, you know, go all the way.
W-why isn't that enough? ETHAN: It is.
It is.
It's fine.
Let's just, um Let's get you dressed, huh? So I can take you home.
I know [ Indistinct conversations .]
[ Door slides shut .]
- WOMAN: How long? - WOMAN 2: How much longer? WOMAN: Come on! CHIEF DUNCAN: Bill? For Christ's sake! I mean, I'm flattered to be your first call and all.
WILLIAM: I need a favor, Sam.
CHIEF DUNCAN: No kidding.
Look, I can have the bail waived, but I don't think you needed the police chief for that.
WILLIAM: Not that.
Somethingbigger.
CHIEF DUNCAN: My wife would change the locks if she knew I refused you a favor.
It's the only reason I'm agreeing to this.
You know, Flo still crows to everyone how, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't even have kids.
WILLIAM: How is Dennis, Jack, and little Sandy? CHIEF DUNCAN: [ Chuckles .]
Well, you got my nuts in a cup on this one, but I don't think it's gonna go so easy with her.
WILLIAM: I can drive if you want.
WILLIAM: I can drive if you want.
LIBBY: No thanks.
I would prefer control of the wheel in case I decide to veer your side of the car into a tree.
WILLIAM: Lib, I wasn't in that brothel as a customer.
LIBBY: [ Chuckles .]
You were repairing their heating? WILLIAM: [ Sighs .]
Remember I told you I was, uh, starting a study in human sexuality? LIBBY: Yes, you were characteristically vague.
WILLIAM: Well, tonight I was simply using the brothel as a working laboratory.
But only because the study was thrown out of the hospital.
LIBBY: You were thrown out of maternity? WILLIAM: The study was, which was a gross overreaction on Scully's part only because I was using human subjects and progressing on to couples' work.
LIBBY: People were having sex in front of you? WILLIAM: Well, not the prostitutes.
The prostitutes only masturbate in front of me while I watch the monitors, in order to gather together physiological data.
LIBBY: Why didn't you tell me this? Youwatching people have sex thing? That you're working in a brothel? Why don't you tell me anything? WILLIAM: I tell you almost everything.
LIBBY: No, you tell me to schedule dinner with visiting faculty.
WILLIAM: I didn't mention it because I thought you might judge it harshly.
LIBBY: Part of me wonders if it's something at home that makes you drawn to this? WILLIAM: Lib, how can you even say LIBBY: But then the other part of me knows you, and I know what you will do for your work, what you'll do in the pursuit of it.
It just seems to me that any study that lands you in jail is probably not a study that is good for your career.
WILLIAM: Unless it is my career.
WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Wheelchair assistant to the E.
R.
waiting room.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Wheelchair assistant to the E.
R.
waiting room.
VIRGINIA: Here's money for a snack.
All homework must be finished before - HENRY: Before comics, I know.
- VIRGINIA: Yes, sit here.
I'll check on you in an hour.
Do not budge until then.
HENRY: Okay.
VIRGINIA: Hello, Betty.
BETTY: Cute kid.
VIRGINIA: He'd be cuter if he hadn't gotten suspended.
BETTY: Oh, probably just cutting his teeth.
I'm impressed that you convinced Dr.
Masters to get you a job.
He doesn't do many people favors.
BETTY: I struck a bargain.
He's such a nut for that stupid study, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
Is that why, uh, you weren't at the brothel last night? You were dealing with your kid? VIRGINIA: Dr.
Masters has been very good about giving me time off.
BETTY: Well, you better get back there fast.
He really needs your help.
WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Nurse Carlisle, please call the switchboard.
Nurse Carlisle, please call the switchboard.
JANE: You snuck up on me.
How are you? AUSTIN: Now that I see you, great.
But horrible before.
Very up-and-down.
Do you mind? JANE: No, of course not.
Sit.
You look AUSTIN: I'm a lot of things at the moment.
Preoccupied.
There's so much to think about, like what you said about the study our contribution to science being cut off so abruptly.
It justseems a real shame.
JANE: Now, that's just how I feel.
AUSTIN: I also keep thinking It's not like Bill Masters holds the key to all scientific advancement.
I mean, after all, I'm also a doctor.
- JANE: Right, bones, or - AUSTIN: Orthopedics.
My point is we can still continue the study, j-just the two of us.
JANE: You mean have sex together.
AUSTIN: Sure.
Why not? JANE: Because you're married.
AUSTIN: Yeah, okay, yes, but I was also married when I was in the study.
JANE: We were in the study because it was for science.
AUSTIN: This is also for science Just more like home studies.
ETHAN: If you were having a contest for the most sexually adventurous girl in the hospital, who would win? JANE: That's a dumb game.
ETHAN: Play anyway.
AUSTIN: Do you mind? ETHAN: You play, too, since you certainly know the field.
Who would you say? JANE: [ Clears throat .]
Don't answer that.
Any guess would be based on idle gossip, which is often inaccurate and always mean.
ETHAN: Gossip's been around thousands of years for a reason.
Austin? AUSTIN: Jesus Christ, Ethan.
Gobother Bernadette.
ETHAN: Oh, I don't know Bernadette.
JANE: She works in food and beverage.
AUSTIN: And Daniels in radiology has assured me she's pretty much a total sl ETHAN: Is that true? Is she a total slut? JANE: I am not having this discussion.
ETHAN: But how slutty, exactly? AUSTIN: You find out for yourself.
I'm in the middle of a serious conversation with Jane.
JANE: And I was perfectly happy here reading without either of you.
[ Sighs .]
AUSTIN: "The Second Sex"? Is that book as, uh thought-provoking as it sounds? JANE: Oh, yes.
Would you like to hear? - ETHAN: I would.
Yeah.
- AUSTIN: Yeah.
Yeah.
JANE: Then listen carefully.
"One day, it will be possible "for a woman to love from her strength and not her weakness.
"Not to escape from herself, but to find herself.
"Not out of resignation, but to affirm herself.
"Only then will love become for her as it is for the man a source of life and not a mortal danger.
" AUSTIN: What?! BARTON: Hello, Bill.
Guess you can't dodge me forever.
You know, uh, I heard a hell of a rumor.
I hope to God it's not true.
WILLIAM: God rarely intervenes in gossip.
BARTON: Did you move that study of yours to a cathouse on the corner of 3rd and Sutter? WILLIAM: I see you've been chatting up our new receptionist.
BARTON: You're out of your mind! WILLIAM: Wherever we've moved, it's your doing.
BARTON: Oh, no, no.
Don't lay this one at my feet.
I know you're angry, you feel I'm being unnecessarily harsh, but I didn't spend 15 years grooming your career so you could piss it away on hookers! WILLIAM: Then let the study back into the hospital.
BARTON: Well, get rid of the live-couples act, and I'll consider it.
Let the study back into the hospital with no restrictions.
BARTON: I just gave you my restrictions.
WILLIAM: Let the study back into the hospital with no restrictions and additional funding.
BARTON: [ Chuckles .]
That's not how you bargain.
WILLIAM: I'm not bargaining.
BARTON: See, this is your problem.
You know that.
You put on a suit of armor to attack a plate of whipped cream.
WILLIAM: [ Chuckles .]
Whipped cream, my ass.
VIRGINIA: This only just came up at the last moment.
HENRY: But you promised! VIRGINIA: I didn't know that I had to work tonight.
But it's the very last issue of Race to Space! I want to read it with you.
VIRGINIA: You will.
Henry, we will read it together, I promise.
Tonight just got a little complicated.
HENRY: [ Grunts .]
It's always complicated.
[ Insects chirping .]
[ Brakes squeal .]
VIRGINIA: This is either the smartest or the stupidest thing I've ever done.
BETTY: Where'd you stash the kids? VIRGINIA: At home with the babysitter, who informed me she's quitting.
Something about me being an unfit mother.
BETTY: Mm.
Everyone's a critic.
Uh, we probably got some time before the doc arrives.
I can gather the girls.
VIRGINIA: It's just like a regular kitchen.
Sorry.
I've never been in a brothel before.
BETTY: Normally, we got naked coochies lined up along the sink, but it's slow.
VIRGINIA: See, this works better if we have a schedule.
So, we will switch off between the study that's with the wires and Dr.
Masters monitoring, taking measurements DOTTIE: I haven't seen a doctor in years, so that's why I'm doing this, but MAUREEN: No, I've decided I'm out.
VIRGINIA: But why? Why not participate? MAUREEN: Because it's weird.
He's weird.
- And, plus, it seems like - WILLIAM: What is she doing here? BETTY: Saving your bacon.
VIRGINIA: That's not true.
It's a fair trade.
He even paid for your time last night.
And the real truth is People are clueless about sex.
You ladies, you're the experts.
Dr.
Masters was smart enough to see that if he's going to help educate people about sex, he should first come to you.
He should learn from the best.
MAUREEN: [ Chuckles .]
Could fill a book with what we know.
DOTTIE: Well, maybe it can even help people, a study like that.
Maybe it can even help the doc have sex himself.
[ Laughter .]
MAUREEN: He reminds me of that one John who used to screw with his shoes on.
DOTTIE: You think he ever takes his bow tie off? VIRGINIA: He's the best women's doctor in the midwest.
Trust me If you need help, you can count on him.
MAUREEN: Oh, the midwest miracle, now.
WILLIAM: Ladies.
Betty will gather the others so we can begin, but I do have some news.
I've struck a deal with the chief of police.
As long as I'm working here, you will be spared any and all police interference.
VIRGINIA: No more raids.
MAUREEN: [ Clucks tongue .]
Oh! BERNADETTE: [ Moaning .]
[ Horn honks .]
ETHAN: Oh, geez! Sorry! BERNADETTE: Flip me over.
Take me from behind.
ETHAN: Okay.
[ Grunting .]
BERNADETTE: You like it in the rear? ETHAN: Uh, you mean the back seat? BERNADETTE: No, in my rear.
ETHAN: Oh, uhNo, this is fine.
BERNADETTE: It's more than fine.
I'm right there! I'm right there again! [ Screams .]
[ Both laughing .]
ETHAN: Yes, um My back is kind of cramping.
BERNADETTE: Looks like someone's a little out of gas.
ETHAN: [ Chuckles .]
Sorry.
BERNADETTE: Don't worry.
I can blow that back into fighting shape in no time.
ETHAN: Whoa.
[ Chuckles .]
[ Breathing heavily .]
VIRGINIA: Does it feel good? BERNADETTE: Faster? Slower? I can do both.
ETHAN: Uh.
[ Chuckles .]
Either is fine, thanks.
[ Chuckles .]
[ Electricity crackling .]
DOTTIE: My mother died of a brain tumor, so when I started getting headaches, I knew.
WILLIAM: How many fingers? DOTTIE: Three? - WILLIAM: How many now? - DOTTIE: Three.
[ Voice breaking .]
I was only 12 when she died.
S-s-she suffered so badly.
I'm afraid of dying like that.
WILLIAM: I have to do some research, but until then, do you know the expression "don't borrow trouble"? DOTTIE: Mm-hmm.
WILLIAM: Don't.
[ Knock at door .]
VIRGINIA: Here's the schedule for the rest of the week.
I've condensed the physical exams down to tonight and tomorrow.
The rest of the nights are for the study.
You now have 19 of the women signed up and ready to go.
You didn't ask me here tonight, Bill.
WILLIAM: I'm aware of that.
Thank you for handling the girls.
You can go now.
VIRGINIA: [ Sighs .]
[ Door slams shut .]
WILLIAM: [ Sighs .]
Betty.
Betty! [ Footsteps, door opens .]
BETTY: Men get to yell in here for one reason and one reason only.
WILLIAM: Where's the next girl? BETTY: Ask nicely, and I'll tell you.
WILLIAM: [ Softly .]
Where's the next girl? BETTY: We're done, except I want to ask you something a request.
WILLIAM: It's irresponsible, not to mention stupid.
Why would you want to reverse your tubal ligation? BETTY: I don't know, genius.
To have kids? WILLIAM: But why on God's earth would you want to have kids? You're a lesbian and a prostitute! BETTY: A little respect.
WILLIAM: You didn't answer the question.
BETTY: Again, that's my business.
WILLIAM: No! It's my business if you're asking me to operate on you! BETTY: I'd like it done sooner rather than later.
WILLIAM: I'm not doing it at all! BETTY: [ Scoffs .]
WILLIAM: Hey.
Hey! Do you know how much that costs?! BETTY: Not much busted.
It's like this The girls think you're odd.
They'd be glad to see your shit on the sidewalk, which is where it will be.
WILLIAM: So you're just gonna blackmail me every time you want something? BETTY: Look at that.
You're smart after all.
LIBBY: How's it going with the study? WILLIAM: [ Sighs .]
Fine.
LIBBY: What did you do tonight? WILLIAM: [ Inhales deeply .]
I'm still setting it up.
LIBBY: That doesn't paint much of a picture.
WILLIAM: All right, apart of my arrangement, uh, in terms of having the study there LIBBY: At the brothel? WILLIAM: At the brothel, is the girls get free medical care.
I looked at one girl's tonsils tonight.
They need to come out.
Another girl had bunions.
LIBBY: Where? WILLIAM: Where did she ha [ Chuckles .]
No naked bodies, no sex.
Tonight was simply paying the piper.
LIBBY: But when you do watch, it must besexy.
WILLIAM: It's work.
LIBBY: It's not even a tiny bit erotic? WILLIAM: Why are you asking me? LIBBY: Because I'm asking if you like to watch.
[ Sighs .]
Because if you do [ sighs .]
You can watch me.
WILLIAM: Lib, don't.
Don't.
I love you too much.
You don't have to do this.
[ Birds chirping .]
[ Elevator bell dings .]
EUNICE: Mrs.
Johnson, I left the next batch of secretarial candidates in the office.
VIRGINIA: Thank you.
EUNICE: Has Dr.
Masters liked none of the applicants? VIRGINIA: Uh, he's extremely particular.
EUNICE: He's gonna have to land on someone eventually.
Isn't he? [ Elevator bell dings .]
WOMAN ON P.
A.
: Dr.
Schaefer Dr.
Schaefer VIRGINIA: Ladies, I'm afraid I have bad news.
The position has been filled.
[ Women sigh .]
WOMAN: That's disappointing.
VIRGINIA: Sorry about the job.
PAM: I had fingers crossed and everything.
But, thanks.
It's not your fault.
VIRGINIA: I looked at your résumé.
Have you ever considered a position caring for children? WILLIAM: Ah.
Coffee's ready.
Mwah! Mwah! I've been thinking about you about us, in fact.
LIBBY: Aren't you late for work? WILLIAM: Uh, I may have told you much of my recent research suggests stress might play a significant role in fertility.
So, it occurred to me, uh, there's no reason why we can't do the capping right here, at home.
So, I'll take your temperature this morning, and if we're good to go, I can cap you in your own bedroom.
Uh, you can rest here, comfortably, all day.
I can check in on you at lunchtime.
- LIBBY: Bill - WILLIAM: I'm happy to do it.
LIBBY: I want Ethan back as my doctor.
- WILLIAM: That's not gonna happen.
- LIBBY: Why not? Ethan is an excellent doctor, and you have said yourself that he's your protégé.
It's what I want.
And to be honest, I don't know why he was taken off my case to begin with.
- WILLIAM: You're my wife.
- LIBBY: Exactly.
And we need to keep our home and thisproblem of ours separate.
WILLIAM: Libby, I cannot abide it.
I am the better doctor.
If you don't want the capping here, that's fine.
The the hospital is also good.
[ Breathes deeply .]
LIBBY: I want Ethan.
Bill I wake up and try and be happy and hopeful every day, but I also know that I am barren, and that the most basic thing in a woman's life is [ Sighs .]
I can't fail you as both a wife and a patient.
I love you too much for that.
WILLIAM: All right.
I need some good news.
VIRGINIA: Well, you might consider this good.
I thought about your proposal, the two of us in the study, together, and I think it's a good idea.
It's good for the study, and it's good for science.
It's also good for something else.
[ Door opens .]
If you can sign these, I can get them out by tonight.
WILLIAM: Where's the next secretarial candidate? VIRGINIA: There isn't one.
H.
R.
's been very slow sending them out today.
WILLIAM: I need you to talk to Betty tonight.
VIRGINIA: About? WILLIAM: She has some harebrained idea about undergoing a tubal reversal.
I told her it's ridiculous, but I can't outright refuse her.
VIRGINIA: Because? WILLIAM: Just talk her out of it.
You have children.
Explain to her how hopelessly ill-equipped she is to undertake such an enormous responsibility.
[ Door closes .]
DOTTIE: The headaches are worse today.
I know what you're gonna say, and it's okay.
It's scary, but I've had an okay life.
[ Breathing quickly .]
WILLIAM: How many fingers? DOTTIE: Oh, my God.
Four.
WILLIAM: Four.
You just needed glasses That's all.
You're gonna be fine.
DOTTIE: [ Crying .]
WILLIAM: Now, now, now.
That That just fogs up the lenses.
DOTTIE: You saved my life.
WILLIAM: I saved your eyes Which is still impressive, given my last class in ophthalmology was 16 years ago.
DOTTIE: How can I pay you back? Would you like a blow job? It's on the house.
WILLIAM: UhThank you.
No, but thank you.
[ Footsteps .]
BETTY: He should give you a raise.
VIRGINIA: Dr.
Masters said that you're considering a tubal reversal.
BETTY: Not considering.
Either he does it or I kick his study onto the street.
He asked you to talk me out of it.
[ Laughs .]
Such a putz.
VIRGINIA: I think his concern is this isn't the best environment to raise a child.
BETTY: A whorehouse? You think? [ Sighs .]
I met a guy at, um at church, of all places.
[ Sighs .]
We became friendly, and I'm thinking, "He doesn't know what I do, so, sure, I seem like a nice girl.
" Then, he asked me to dinner.
[ Laughs .]
[ Laughing .]
His His car is very fancy, and that's when I get it out of him.
He he's rich.
He made a fortune in pretzels.
[ Sighs .]
He's the Pretzel King.
VIRGINIA: The original Pretzel King? BETTY: [ Laughs .]
He wants to marry me, a nice girl who works in a hospital and [ sighs .]
have a bunch of kids.
It turns out he's crazy about me.
VIRGINIA: Uh, but I thought you were crazy about Helen.
BETTY: I-I love Helen, but [ sighs .]
she understands why I'm doing this, and s-she wants what's best for me.
VIRGINIA: But is it really what's best for children? I mean, I have them.
I know what it's like to raise them alone.
BETTY: I wouldn't be alone.
VIRGINIA: When everything with this guy goes perfectly, which it always does.
BETTY: This is a shot at something good and normal maybe even happy.
Why shouldn't I take it? VIRGINIA: Well, you shouldn't take it lightly.
Kids are incredibly tough.
BETTY: Well, why'd you have them if they're such a burden? VIRGINIA: [ Sighs .]
I Because I knew that I would feel like a failure if I didn't have children.
And I also knew If I'm being perfectly honest, I-I knew that they would probably be the only thing I could truly love.
BETTY: So You deserve that, and I don't.
WILLIAM: What are you saying? VIRGINIA: I'm saying you should reconsider the surgery.
WILLIAM: I told you to talk her out of it.
VIRGINIA: She's met a man and wants children.
WILLIAM: Of course she's met a man.
She's met hundreds of men.
Why would this one be any different? VIRGINIA: Why are you asking, Bill? This doesn't even sound like you.
How many times have you said, "When it comes to science, there's no room for God? "Science simply is.
"The data tells the story and should be free of all judgment and all censor"? Isn't that why you refuse to give up on your study? Because you believe in this journey and following the science, no matter where it leads? [ Breathes deeply .]
I know you're keeping me hanging deliberately punishing me for my transgressions, which I probably deserve, but Can we speak honestly about what's really going on here? WILLIAM: I don't follow.
VIRGINIA: Well, the truth is, you need me in the study.
And you know it.
So, am I rehired? Yes or no? WILLIAM: You have a job tomorrow.
Beyond that, I really can't tell the future.
[ Door opens, closes .]
PAM: They were a dream, really.
Tess and I played dolls.
Miss Revlon won the swimsuit competition.
And Henry and I had the greatest time.
VIRGINIA: He didn't hound you about his comics? PAM: Oh, he did all night.
So, we read the last issue of "Race to Space" together.
It was so good! [ Sighs .]
What a story The future of science and all.
It was so riveting.
I'm gonna get the entire series for my nephew.
You have the nicest kids, Virginia, despite what that teacher says.
VIRGINIA: [ Chuckles .]
PAM: So, tomorrow? VIRGINIA: Late.
I have to work again.
PAM: That's fine with me.
- VIRGINIA: Thank you.
- PAM: See you tomorrow.
[ James Blake's "Retrograde" plays .]
[ Humming .]
VIRGINIA: "On Earth, he had been different.
Others had not understood him.
He had been lonely.
" "But now he found himself between worlds "the Earth, a tiny dot behind him, the Moon, a tiny dot ahead.
" [ Insects chirping .]
"When he got to the Moon, "would it be everything he dreamed of, and would it be worth everything he had left behind?" [ Humming continues .]
You're on your own In a world you've grown A few years to go Don't let the hurdle fall So be the girl you loved Be the girl you loved I'll wait So show me while you're strong Ignore everybody else We're alone now I'll wait So show me while you're strong Ignore everybody else