Melrose Place s01e02 Episode Script

Good morning, Southern California, and another good morning it is.
Summer weather remains the same, sunny and hot, the high near 90 in the valleys.
A pleasant 78 at the beaches.
It's a good day to call in sick and sneak off to the sand.
But expect a slow ride.
That pile-up on the southbound 405 is backing things up past Sherman Way.
The 101 is slowing at Reseda due to freeway construction.
- As for that earlier report - This coffee is too strong.
I like it that way.
Gets my motor running.
And I don't want to be picky, but I hate it when people read my paper before I do.
I just need the classifieds.
There's got to be something else for me besides that dance studio.
I don't know why I'm in such a hurry.
They're just gonna fire me.
- God, I wish I had someone to talk to.
- Hey.
- What am l? - You know what I mean.
Alison, the guy made a pass at you.
You can't lose your job for that.
You don't understand.
Guys like Hal, with egos like that, don't back down.
Let him know you're not gonna back down.
I mean, threaten legal action.
Sexual harassment in the workplace.
There are laws you know, and he knows it.
- Maybe you're right.
- I'm right.
Believe me.
- I've had it with this plumbing.
- Not now, Jake.
Somebody turns on hot, I get cold.
I've been bitching for a month.
- I said, not now.
- Yes, now.
- Find someone else.
- What's that supposed to mean? That means you want to pick a fight and I'm too damn tired.
All I want to know is when it's gonna be fixed? You're out of work, why don't you fix it? Easy, easy.
What's the problem? Michael Jake, we will handle this.
- You got a bad attitude.
- I'll call a plumber.
- Do that.
- Happy? Yeah.
Another beautiful day in Lotusland.
- I gotta go, I'll be late for work.
- Yeah, me too.
What's going on? I dunno.
Unemployment blues.
I thought you loved being out of work.
For the freedom and the lack of responsibility.
- Did I say that? - Something like it.
Well, I've grown up since then.
People like us, we land on our feet.
Your daddy tell you that? That's something I found out by myself.
I gotta go, I can't keep the unemployment office waiting.
Stop by Shooters later, I'll buy you a beer.
I'll let you.
By night he sutures, by day he fixes pipes.
The ultimate hyphenate.
- Busy night? - Slow, actually.
I don't know which is worse, too many patients or not enough.
You start to wonder when interns are sitting around - hoping for a major catastrophe.
- I had a dream last night.
That would be nice, a dream.
'Course you have to sleep.
Well, it was really more of a memory of that night we first met.
That crazy party.
My heel breaks on a piece of flagstone and you said, "l can fix that for you.
" And then you break the heel off my other shoe.
I can still see you standing there holding my shoes, with that silly grin on your face.
I knew right then that I was in love with you.
Call in sick.
When was the first time for you? - When I knew I was in love? - Yeah.
- You've forgotten.
- No, no, not forgotten.
- You have.
- No, that was That was Two years ago.
Give me a break.
It's been a long night.
I am talking about our whole relationship.
- Alison.
- I know you're in a hurry.
This won't take long.
What happened the other night is l mean, was and is plain and simple sexual harassment.
There are several ways I can go, charges I can bring.
I've considered all of my options, and if it means losing my job, so be it.
What I'm saying is, I'm not scared, Hal.
- I will not be intimidated.
- Alison, we went out.
- We had a date.
- It was more than that, you know it.
- Do what you want to do, Alison.
- I will, believe me.
- Did you hear? - What? Libby Haskins in payroll filed charges.
Hal's dead.
What do you know.
There is a God.
By the way, your cab's here.
My cab? Hi.
My God.
You stole a cab.
It's twice what I made at the dance studio.
- You quit Arthur Murray for this? - They were very understanding.
This is a big opportunity.
I'm getting a piece of the action plus tips.
Best of all, I'm my own boss.
I can roam the streets.
Check out the world from my perch behind the wheel.
I was thinking we might celebrate this weekend? - I planned on painting the apartment.
- We'll paint together.
Painting can be stimulating.
Rollers, brushes, fumes My God.
What happened with Hal? How'd it go? Oh, it worked itself out.
See that? Life's just full of surprises.
Car 54, come back.
This is 54, go ahead.
Fifty-four, pick up at 8710 Fairfax, corner of Wilshire.
Got it.
Fifty-four out.
- Is this like so cool, or what? - Billy You get the paint, I'll bring the beer! Come on now, which one? Not one of these airbrush jobs looks anything like you.
That's the point, isn't it? To show different sides of myself.
I have to show my uniqueness and my versatility.
Boobs.
All I see is cleavage.
- You gotta stand out in this town.
- Talent will make you stand out.
It was true when I was an actress.
You still are an actress.
An actress who owns a bar and wastes her moments on waitresses and busboys.
You think you can get back to work, Miss Meryl Streep? Thank you.
Oh, nice.
Kelly.
- I was looking for Jake.
- As usual.
I wanted to tell him that Jackie had her baby.
It's a girl.
I guess with a new baby they'll have to pay the sitter extra.
Is he here, Sandy? See, we were supposed to have lunch.
Well, actually, he went to the unemployment office.
Just order without him.
You know how long those lines can get.
But then again, l guess you wouldn't, would you? Hanson.
Hey.
Crowded today? Yeah, lot of people out of work.
Instructions clearly state fill out the front and back.
Finish it and take it to Window C for re-submission.
I started at Window C.
McBride.
Mrs Rivera, Window Z.
Mrs Rivera, Window Z.
Window C.
McBride.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- It's in the Valley.
- What's in the Valley? - Where I'm going.
- I can find the Valley.
- OK, but I've never been there.
- The Valley? - No, the address where I'm going.
- No problem, I can find this.
- You've flown into IA? - Yeah.
Of course, cos everybody has cos nobody really is from IA.
It's just all those lights, mile after mile.
For every light, you've got 50 people living down there side by side.
For each one of those people, they only know 30 or 40 people.
So you got six million virtual strangers.
They like it that way.
That's the thing I don't get.
- I mean Am I talking too much? - No.
I like it.
If we take Coldwater, we'll probably be stuck in traffic all day.
So take Coldwater.
You know, what you said about this city is so true.
Nobody here is real.
Exactly.
You got a whole city that's afraid of commitment.
- You don't mind, do you? - No, not at all.
- What? - It's just - You look exactly like Springsteen.
- Oh, come on.
The Boss? Yeah.
Well, back when he had his edge.
I mean, I love him.
He's my favorite performer.
- I saw him at the Coliseum.
- Born in the USA tour? - I was there.
- Me, too.
I was tenth row, field.
Twelfth row.
- We were just - Two rows apart.
- That close.
- That's incredible.
- We could've like - Danced in the aisles together.
This is crazy.
This might be a little out of line, but I know a great Italian place.
- I love Italian.
- How did I know that? Move it! - The light's green.
- Is it? OK.
We'll reissue the check to your new address.
- We need the check today.
- I'm sorry.
- Io siento, it's against our policy.
- C'mon, man, give her the check.
- You with her? - I'm a friend.
OK, friend.
You can tell her.
With a change of address there's a two week wait.
That's crazy.
The check is here.
- Next! - Oh no, no.
- That's two hours I've been here.
- Sir, you're holding up the line.
Now you and your friend can make an emergency request.
Go to Window D.
You can't do that.
Hey, security! I'm talking to you! Oh, my God.
You're hurting him! What're you doing here? - Stay out of it.
- Hey, I'm pressing charges, punk! You're over your limit, miss.
The computer's not accepting it.
There's a mistake.
Until banks open tomorrow you're out of luck.
There's bail bondsmen across the street.
Yeah, I tried them.
They all need collateral.
A thousand seems so high.
Mr Hanson created a disturbance in a state agency.
You're lucky it's not five, considering the priors.
- Priors? What're those? - Prior arrests.
Your boyfriend's led a colorful life.
- My humble abode.
- It's great.
It's not at all what I expected.
Dessert? - Here we are.
- Yeah.
Two rows apart.
Maybe we should be more cautious.
I know.
- Billy? - My God, you have a girlfriend.
- No! No! - Roommate.
Yeah, roommate.
It's strictly platonic.
- Friends.
- Friends.
- Barely.
- I'm Marcy.
Hi.
That's Alison.
- We just met in the cab.
- The cab.
- Yeah, told you.
It's a great job.
- It's so insane.
I mean, out of all the guys I know, l meet this guy in a cab.
Driving a cab.
And it's like l don't know what it's like.
It's unbelievable.
It's just unbelievable.
Yes, unbelievable, all right.
- Thirty per cent off.
Gilberts.
- Oh, great.
Hey, you're all set then.
That's great.
Look, do you guys want me to come back later? - No.
- Oh, no.
- We'll just - You can give me a tour.
- Great idea.
- Bye.
See ya.
So which room is yours? Stop it! Just Just kiss me.
This isn't like me.
I mean, normally l You are so sexy.
Oh, my God, it's killing me.
I'm serious.
Don't touch me there.
Don't touch me there! Billy.
Hi, Alison.
I was just the bathroom.
Are we bothering you? No.
Not really.
These walls are pretty thin.
Yeah.
They are.
I'm sorry, but have you totally lost your mind? You just met this woman.
She's a passenger in your cab.
- A "fare".
- What? They're called "fares".
Whatever she is, she has a very odd idea of tipping.
I mean, my God, are you at least gonna l mean, have you? Are you going to? If you're referring to condoms, I am.
I mean, I have and I always do.
No! I was not referring to condoms.
My God.
Billy? We're bothering you, I can tell.
My God.
- You are not bothering me.
- You're bright red, look at you.
- I don't want to discuss this.
- What is the problem, Alison? - I mean - There is no problem.
- I thought we were going to paint.
- I know.
I know and I'm sorry.
- Maybe I can help you tomorrow.
- Forget it.
It's OK.
- Look, somehow keep it down.
- Oh, sure.
- Morning.
- Morning.
Morning.
Alison, is it OK if I use your deodorant? - I guess so.
- Thanks.
I wasn't really prepared.
- I suppose it's none of my business - No, I didn't sleep with her.
I mean, I slept with her, but I didn't sleep with her.
We just We stayed up all night talking.
- You seem relieved.
- Well, I am.
For your sake.
We should discuss these feelings you're having.
- I'm not having any feelings.
- Grapefruit.
I love grapefruit.
You put your name on your fruit? - Go ahead.
Help yourself.
- Thanks.
I'm gonna go to the paint store.
They mixed my colors wrong.
OK.
This is so incredible, what's happened.
Last night was fantastic.
I know.
You know what? I never asked you what you do.
- Guess.
- Guess? Yeah, for a living.
Guess what I do.
- Teacher? - Better.
- Lawyer? - Oh, please.
- Alison, come on.
Jump in here.
- OK.
- Astronaut? Brain surgeon? - Tycoon? Tycoon-ess? - Dental student.
- Wow.
- God.
- I'll be at the paint store.
Finally.
I'm sorry it took so long.
I had to wait for the bank to open.
- You bailed me out? - Well, yeah.
Look, you shouldn't have gotten involved.
I had to.
You were in trouble.
When are you gonna understand? I'm no good for you.
Jake, I don't care, OK? - We're from different worlds.
- Look, I understand you.
- I know how you're feeling.
- I'll pay you back, soon as I can.
Jake, wait.
Don't do this.
Alison! Oh, I was expecting Billy.
- I assumed.
- He's out at the grocery store.
- He's going to make me dinner.
- What a guy.
I know, what a guy.
This is flammable, you know.
What you must think of me.
It's changed my whole view of dentistry.
Look, I'm as blown away by this as you are.
Really.
I mean, normally I live this very structured, organized life.
Lately, I've just been so pressured with school and exams.
So when I met Billy l mean, when I got into that cab, there was just this instant attraction.
Listen, anyway, you have to tell me everything you know about Billy.
What he likes, what he doesn't like, the women from his past.
Everything.
I'm not gonna be much help.
Billy and I haven't known each other long.
- Really? - He just moved in a week ago.
- Really.
- You seem surprised.
Well, I am.
I mean for knowing him such a short time, you're very protective.
- Am I really? - Yes.
You really are.
Well, maybe Billy's just an easy guy to like.
Actually, I've yet to see those qualities.
Hello guys.
Welcome home, Billy.
- Let me see.
What'd you bring? - Maybe we should eat later.
Oh, later, after we've worked up an appetite.
Excuse us.
Jane, come on.
Talk to me.
- You shouldn't be this angry.
- I know I shouldn't.
If remembering the time you fell in love with me was the only issue, l would agree that maybe I'm being a little unreasonable.
- No one's saying that - I just feel like this is symptomatic of a bigger problem.
OK, fine.
So let's discuss it.
- This panic here is crazy.
- But we should panic.
If romance in our relationship is already dead, we should be terrified.
Terrified? I'm working on it.
By tomorrow morning no more water problems.
I wish that was my problem.
- You guys have no doubt met Marcy.
- Yes, that's Billy's new girlfriend.
Speed those two are traveling she's probably his fiancee.
I'm in shock.
They think they're in love.
They've know each other a day.
I know I'm the naive nitwit from the Midwest, but are all relationships in IA this haphazard and ridiculous? - Well, maybe it's love at first sight.
- Do you believe in that? - Yes.
I do.
- Well - For some people, it's more gradual.
- Let me get this straight.
You're here cos you're worried about Billy? I'm here cos I've been driven out of my apartment! - You have your own bedroom.
- I know.
I'm just - Jealous? - No! - Why does everyone say that? - You and Billy are living together.
Roommates.
Only roommates.
Alison, why are you this upset? I meet Billy and I think here's a guy l can be friends with.
Nothing else, just friends.
I hate being treated like I'm not even there.
Like I don't count.
- What can we do for you? - Can I stay here tonight? - I could really use peace and quiet.
- Yes, of course you can.
It's so great having you guys here, you know.
Two people who have it so together.
I'll get a blanket.
It's cool how all you guys know each other.
- In my building we're all strangers.
- It's nice.
- We look out for each other.
- It's kind of like a family.
Exactly.
Hey, Billy boy.
You flip a mean burger.
It's the only worthwhile talent passed down from my Dad.
I like her.
She says what's on her mind.
You got lucky.
She's nuts about you.
She's some girl.
Are you going out Friday night? These are terrific.
Yum! Thanks.
I studied at the Actors Circle and six months with Reilly.
Charles Nelson Reilly.
Musical comedy.
You know, l really love this low-cut number.
My friends and I are having this thing at the beach club next week Would you like to go with me? - A high school party? - Hi.
I'm Marcy, Billy's new girlfriend.
It sounds so high school, "girlfriend.
" I'm his lover.
- I can say that, can't l? - No, not to me.
I'm still in high school.
Excuse me.
Jake.
You never let me buy you that beer.
I've been busy.
Real busy, it looks like.
- Sandy, it's none of your business.
- Did I say anything? As I was saying, he has the softest lips.
I went through the bathroom cabinet and there's Vaseline Intensive Care.
They're just so soft and I've just never seen anything like it.
He picked me a daffodil out of someone's garden.
How did he know that I love daffodils? - Daffodil.
How did he know? - Remember this time because everything that happens, you've gotta etch it into your memory.
Falling in love is the greatest experience a man and woman can have.
- You think this is love? - What else? We say it at the same time.
I'm not kidding.
He wears socks to bed because his feet get cold.
It is so cute.
He has so many adorable habits.
- Men are usually so insensitive.
- I'll take over.
Are you avoiding me? I haven't seen you around at all.
Well, you've had your mind on other things, Billy.
It's a good thing that bed has strong springs.
We were just It's happening all so fast.
The job, then her, then meeting all my friends, spending every second together.
She's the most aggressive woman l have ever met.
I know you don't like her.
Liking her has nothing to do with it, Billy.
I just think it's a little strange, the way she's glommed on to you.
She'll talk about anything and does.
Your entire sex life is on display.
Just cos I rescued you from Hal doesn't mean I need you to rescue me.
Did I say you needed rescuing? He did that thing where he kissed me on my neck.
Then, he was kissing all the way down my elbow, l mean, swear to God, just his touch sent me into spasms.
Our subject today is women who can't get enough.
Our guest is Marcy Garrett, a self-confessed oversexed talk-aholic.
Marcy, tell us about Billy.
He was the greatest, Dr Ruth.
I mean, no man could satisfy me the way Billy could.
He had these techniques, like this one in particular, where he would just l can't describe it on television, but I am telling you, it drove me just wild.
And except for this annoying problem, we just had the perfect relationship.
- What might this annoying problem be? - His roommate.
- Billy.
Billy! - Billy! My God! Be careful! Oh, God.
Listen Billy, let me take over.
You better rest.
You're gonna need your strength tonight.
Hey, man, you missed a good barbecue.
- What're you doing? - That's a really good question.
- I have no idea.
- Can l? Oh, be my guest.
- You mean? - Yeah.
OK, let's go.
Come on.
No way, no way.
That thing's gonna have to be cut off.
This blade's not gonna cut it.
That's the only one I got.
I got one back in my apartment.
Look - I'm really sorry about the other day.
- Don't worry about it.
You know, sometimes I just don't know how to handle things, you know? Well, you've got a lot of friends around here, Jake.
Needing help, asking for it, that's not something to be ashamed of.
Where I come from, you pull your own weight.
And when you're backed into a corner, you fight.
- We come from the same place, man.
- I'll go get that blade.
Good night.
The female, uncharacteristically aggressive after mating, first stuns then kills her mate.
The mate, smaller in stature, is defenseless and unable to retaliate.
The act culminates with the female black widow actually devouring her mate.
I can't believe tomorrow's already Monday.
Didn't you say you had an exam? Yeah, but it's tomorrow.
It's so terrible.
I haven't even studied yet.
- Well, there's still tonight.
- Yeah, but tonight is Sunday night.
Actually, there's some writing that I wanted to get to.
You can write whenever you want.
I will not say a word.
- I will just sit here and watch you.
- That's not what I meant.
No, Billy.
You have the rest of your life to be a writer, and I have the rest of my life to be a dentist.
Billy I think I love you.
Quiet this morning.
Is she gone? - At least she has her own deodorant.
- I don't need this right now.
I have a real problem here.
- She's in love with me.
- Congratulations.
- No.
She's really in love with me.
- Of course she's in love with you.
Billy, you invited her into your life.
I thought that it was love in the beginning.
But I was in lust, not in love.
- Billy, I'm not interested in this.
- Alison, I need help.
- Your love life is none of my business.
- We are some pair.
- What does that mean? - What did you say the other morning? - "If I only had someone to talk to.
" - I need a towel, Billy! - Hospitals make me nervous.
- He's a liar.
- Babies make him nervous.
- Don't make me hold it.
I'll be right back.
Take your time.
There's 200 dollars in there.
I'll give you the rest as soon as I can.
I just want to even the score.
- I was helping you.
- And now you want something in return.
Wrong.
I could care less.
You're the one who's always making such a big deal about me being the kid here.
Now you're the one who's acting like it.
Just take your money.
Let's just go.
I'll have what he's having.
You got something you want to talk about, Billy? I was I don't know.
What'd Marcy, give you the night off? Yeah, something like that.
Can you bring Jake another one? It's on me.
The subject is women.
I know you've been in this situation.
You meet a girl, things develop, you sleep with her, she falls in love with you Now you're stuck.
You like her, but you're not in love with her.
So I've been basically avoiding her.
- The guy thing to do.
- Usually.
- I wouldn't recommend it.
- Yeah, but if it works Hey, hiding out is great.
You know, hanging, listen to some music Picking up on strangers, it's really cool.
- But not a solution, man.
- Yeah, but it works for you.
You tell me what is working in my life right now.
You know, guys do this macho thing.
You know, we put on this false front.
"I'm cool.
I can handle anything.
" You know what's happening? You're not being straight with people.
If this girl's crowding you, taking up too much time, tell her.
Tell her the timing's bad.
Tell her - Tell her it's not love.
- Yeah.
You owe her that.
Hey, you know these things are never a one-way street.
- You must've come on pretty strong.
- Yeah.
Yep, I did.
So - Are you breaking or am I breaking? - No, I gotta take a rain check.
Thanks, Sandy.
Doctor Jake.
The man with the solution to everyone's problems but his own.
- You busy tonight? - Why? Are you asking me out? - Yeah.
- I've got too much respect for myself to play anybody's second choice, including yours.
Have a nice night.
This has been the longest day of my life.
When you didn't call, l started to worry.
- We have to talk.
- I know.
- So much has happened so fast.
- No, I mean, really talk.
OK.
You know, nothing like this has ever happened to me before.
There have been other guys in my life, but it's never been like this.
- Marcy, listen.
- What is it? This thing is totally out of control.
I mean, you are just coming on a little strong.
I was just being honest about my feelings.
We've known each other two days! I mean, how can you know that's love? I did.
I knew.
Maybe you didn't.
I just don't feel the same way you do.
I don't love you.
Why do I do this? This is always happening to me.
I meet someone and I just lose control.
- I'm sorry.
- No, forget it.
I'm sorry.
Look, I'm gonna be OK.
God, I hate this part.
I have to get home to study.
See you, Billy.
I'm sorry.
I've been a real jerk.
I deserved it.
I don't want to lose the romance, either.
So we won't, that's all.
We'll stay out of that trap.
So what do you want for dinner? We've got the leftover pasta.
It wasn't a moment.
I mean, one particular moment.
I mean, it's every time I'm with you, and every time I'm not.
It's having a secret.
Not the kind you want to run out and tell everybody.
But the kind you don't dare tell anyone, because then a piece of it would be lost forever.
If there was a moment that I fell in love with you, it wasn't one moment, but every moment, every day.
Falling in love with you over and over.
And being scared to death that someday I may lose you.
That you'd be gone.
Stop me before I make a fool of myself.
- What're you doing here? - I don't know.
- I just know that I had to come.
- I don't want your money.
Good.
Cos I've got about ten bucks.
And that's not what this is about.
Sometimes I'm not real good at expressing myself.
I guess this is one of those times.
I'm sorry, Kelly, for the way I treated you.
- It wasn't all your fault.
- I just l don't know what it is between us.
I can't promise anything, but I know that losing your friendship is not the way to go.
All you've tried to do is be my friend.
And that's something l don't want to lose.
Me either.
Do you want to take a ride down to the beach? There's a full moon tonight.
- I have to be home by midnight.
- Me too.
- Watch the drips.
- Right.
It's over.
- I'm sorry.
- You knew it wouldn't last.
No, I didn't.
I think I was afraid it would.
It almost did.
Almost? She was in this rush.
I was on an ego trip, and we just couldn't communicate.
Billy, I want you to know, we can talk.
You mean like friends? Right, friends.
It's worth a try.
- What a weekend.
- No kidding.