Mercy s01e02 Episode Script

[both giggling.]
- This brings me back.
- Well, let's just hope you last a little longer Than you did in high school.
- That's mean And untrue.
- Oh, I'm just teasing.
Come on, hurry up.
I'm late for work.
- Oh.
Oh, now you're in a hurry.
No.
No, you're gonna leave here satisfied If it's the last thing I do.
- I'm doing a load of darks.
You got anything? Mike.
- Mom, get out.
- Hey, jenny.
- Hey, mikey.
Hey, mike.
How you doing, buddy? - Oh, isn't this a sight for sore eyes? The two of them are back together again.
- Okay.
Well, show's over.
- Jim, I'm doing a load of darks.
You got anything? - Hey, mom, you doing a load of darks? Can I throw my pants in? - What are you doing here? Don't you have a wife? - Oh, heather's all pissed off.
Plus, she ran out of coffee.
The kids are all screaming.
I had to get out of there.
It's like an insane asylum.
But it's nice to see you too, pop.
Hey, mike.
Hey, where we watching the game on Sunday? Uh, you got a tv at your house yet? - Oh, he's got a tv.
He doesn't have a wall to hang it on.
- We'll watch it at the bar.
Hey, man, you been working out? - Yeah, I got a bowflex.
- Okay! Everybody who is not in this bed Get out.
- All right, jeez.
Calm down.
Comen, you guys.
Who wants pancakes? - Yeah, pancakes.
Good call, ma.
- If she makes an odd number, I get the extra one.
[door closes.]
- There's not enough paxil in the world To make living here okay.
- So move home.
- Mike, the house isn't finished.
There's no roof.
- There's a roof Mostly.
Come on, it's our house.
Come and live with me.
It'll be like camping.
It's romantic.
If we're back together, we should live together Unless you're ambivalent about it, In which case we should talk.
- Ambivalent? Do you even know what that means? - You think I'm an idiot? - No! I'm just[chuckles.]
I'm just not used to hearing you use big words is all.
It's kind of sexy.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
- What about - [giggling.]
- Obsequious? No? Um Equivocal.
- So what happened with cute cop? - Well, the sex was good, but I'm done.
- Did you break it to the poor guy already? - Well, I would have, but he hasn't called.
- Ha, well That happens.
Sometimes they don't call.
Doesn't usually happen to you, though, To the rest of us, maybe, But - Man, when's this joker gonna call me so I can dump him? So how's this gonna work? - What? There's nothing.
It's nothing.
It's fine.
Fine.
- How? The guy you had an affair with in iraq Came to new jersey for you.
- We're both adults.
I just have to play it cool.
- Who's playing it cool? - Nobody.
- Oh, hey, guys, yesterday this guy came in Saying he accidentally sat on a plunger, Like it was an accident.
I mean, he did it on purpose, right? Right? - You are terrible at playing it cool.
- I'm like a secret agent.
It's gonna be fine.
It's gonna be fine! - I know your speciality was in oncologic surgery Before the war, but you can probably do anything now.
I mean, we're short-staffed here, So, uh, we can keep you very busy.
How are you adjusting to new jersey? - Well, I'm You know, I'm from california.
- I guess you'll miss happiness, then.
- [chuckles.]
jersey has its appeal, though.
I miss the surfing, though.
- Where do you put your beer when you're surfing? I'm a bowler myself.
Veronica Doctor sands just got back from a tour of duty in iraq.
Did you guys happen to know each other? - Oh, god, no.
No.
Iraq is a really big country.
A lot of people don't know that.
It's actually the size of texas.
There's many, many hospitals.
All kinds of people medevacking around And sandstorms--psht.
Don't even get me started on those.
There are all these zones too.
There's your green zone And the zone that's outside of yourGreen zone.
Time zones.
- Veronica You want to come with me to check on mr.
Mendoza? - So you can see how the odds of two individuals Ever meeting each other over there are very small, So, no, we actually-- we didn't know each other.
Oh, my god! What did I just do? - I think you just had a stroke.
- Hey, that was pretty smooth back there.
- Well, I got nervous, and I froze.
- You didn't freeze.
Freezing would've been fine.
- Well, okay, I didn't handle it very well.
I'm sorry.
I'm serious about being friends, though.
How's it going? - Uh, it's--it's great.
It's great.
Should we go in? - He's going, like, 40.
And I just--I lose my grip.
And I just go slamming into this parked car, like, dooh! - Boom! - Hey, hey, hey, hey, Keep it down, or I'm gonna kick your friends out.
- Then I look down at my ankle.
It's literally - Hey, phil.
- Just twisted backward.
- Phil.
Focus up, buddy.
We got to talk about your leg.
There was significant muscle damage.
There was also some extensive damage To the arteries and the nerves.
We're not out of the woods yet.
We still have to make sure That we can re-establish full profusion.
Yes? - Um, doctor, I am high as a kite Thanks to this wonderful drip that you have me on, And these guys took some valium in the waiting room.
So nobody knows what you're talking about.
- [chuckling.]
- You shredded your leg.
So we need you to stay here for a day or so.
- Okay.
- Okay, well, I'll check in on you later.
- What up, sexy nurse? - Hoo! - Hey! No, not funny or cute.
Get out.
- Are you serious? - Everybody.
- What? - Now.
- No! No fair, come on! Well Can I at least get a sponge bath? - You want a sponge bath? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hey Ricardo.
This gentleman needs a sponge bath.
- What's up? [quiet chatter.]
- Good morning, mr.
Bellingham.
- Call me conrad.
- Okay, I'm chloe.
Um, it looks like you were in a little car accident.
- Well, yeah.
I'm just glad nobody got hurt.
Hey, I'm in a great deal of pain.
Is there any way that we could, uh-- - Adjust your pain medication? Of course, yeah.
I'll speak to your doctor.
- Ugh, that would be so great.
- He should be here in, like, an hour.
- An hour? Really? Okay.
Um Hey, you know what? The e.
M.
T.
S have my bag downstairs.
Is there any way you could grab it for me? It's--it's got my ipod in it.
- Oh, yeah, of course.
No problem, conrad.
- Thank you so much.
That's so great of you.
- Sure.
- She's stable, but it doesn't look good.
They found her in the bathroom Of that donut shop on washington.
- Hooker donuts? - Indeed.
No I.
D.
, no nothing-- jane doe.
My gift to you.
- Oh, really? Come on.
- I know.
Have fun with social services.
It's a pain in the ass.
But the most important thing Is that it's not my pain in the ass.
Looks like it could be hiv.
The labs will be up soon.
- Couldn't have cleaned her up? - Busy night.
- Thanks.
- I'm tired of losing to mcrae's pub.
- I know.
They act like such a-holes when they win.
- Hey, what are you guys talking about? - Oh, we play softball for the bar.
We're not good.
- Really? I played softball in high school and in college.
UhWhat happened to my yogurt? - I ate it.
Pause.
You played softball in high school and in college? - Yeah.
I almost tried out for the olympics, But then they took it out of competition.
- Of course you did.
Why don't you come to the game tomorrow? - I'd love to.
Thanks.
Okay, cool.
Um, I-I have to run to the e.
R.
- She played softball in high school and in college.
- Is my little pony a lesbian? - Our losing streak is over.
[knock at door.]
- hey.
Here you go.
Here's your bag.
I hope your ipod's still in there.
I would hate to be in the hospital without my "tunage.
" I mean, this one time, I was stuck on the runway For seven hours, and the only thing That saved me was my ipod.
Do you need any help? - No, I think I'll be okay from here, thanks.
- Okay.
[door closes.]
- Tox screen came back on your patient.
He was loaded with oxycontin When he wrapped his car around a tree.
So, no, he can't have any morphine Because he's a drug addict.
Where is he? - Oh, um, I brought his bag from the e.
R.
, And he's in the - Get him out of there.
- [sighs.]
 conrad! - Just a minute! - Conrad! - Excuse me! - Conrad.
- Excuse me.
A man is trying to go to the bathroom here.
This is not american.
Wait! I'm not doing anything, you jack bully goons.
Leave me alone.
I'm not doing anything! Ah! Get off of me! This is ridiculous! This is nothing.
This is not what you think it is, okay? It's nothing, all right? - Maya Baby, can you get me some magazines or something? I'm bored out of my mind.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- I'll be right back.
- Mm.
Female over intercom: Please dial 118.
- She's gonna be gone for at least 20 minutes, So there's time for you and me - You better be nice to that girl, or she is gonna walk.
- Where's she gonna go? - You know, I married a guy like you.
And this whole arrested development, I-am-so-cute-and-stupid routine Does not wear so well when you're 30.
You have a fever.
- And you're still married to him, aren't you? Exhibit "a," "b," and "c.
" I rest my case.
- You're an idiot.
- And you're married to an idiot, So who's the bigger idiot? - You okay? - Yeah, yeah, just a little woozy.
Can I get an extra blanket? My foot's cold.
- Cold? Is it numb, phil? - I don't know, maybe a little bit.
Can I have some Maybe some water? - Hey.
I need some help in here! Female over intercom: Please dial 118.
- Phil - Yep? - Hi, phil.
You, uh, lost consciousness.
We took you to surgery.
There was, uh, severe damage to your popliteal artery.
We tried several different anastomoses.
The vessel wall simply wouldn't hold.
When we couldn't re-establish blood flow, We had no choice but to remove your leg below the knee, Or you would have died.
- No, you didn't.
[chuckles.]
No, you didn't.
It's right here.
[gasping, panting.]
oh, my god! What did you do with it? What did you do? Where is it? Get off of me! Where is it? - [sighs.]
- Hey, that guy with the ice-cream cart is here.
We got a break now, let's go.
- Yeah, just a sec.
I got to just finish up with miss america over here.
Actually, could you go without me? - Okay.
- Yes, I know.
I already called the social worker.
Now I'm calling you.
It could be a human-interest story.
I don't know, maybe somebody's looking for her.
Oh, I bet you'd be more interested If she was a 17-year-old white girl.
Bitch.
[phone slams down.]
- Who you calling a bitch? - Oh, I'm just trying to get my jane doe on the news.
The lady says she's "undesirable.
" - You can get mad, or you can keep moving.
That's what you always tell me.
- I know.
- I'm just saying you're usually pretty good At not getting emotionally involved.
- Who says I'm involved? - This lady's story is not gonna have a happy ending.
It doesn't matter what you do.
- I know, okay? I know.
- I heard the yelling from the kid's room earlier.
- Yeah.
He lost his leg.
- Hey, did that detective ever call? - No, he didn't.
- Oh, I love this guy.
He's a genius.
- Why is everybody in my business? Look who it is.
- Chloe full of grace.
- Shut up, you guys.
- Hey, chloe.
I'm having a little allergy attack.
Would you mind running down to rite-aid And getting me a thousand boxes of sudafed? That'd be so great.
- That's not funny.
- Hey, quit it.
Don't you people have anything better to do? Chloe, stick this up your butt.
Take it to the goldfingers in queens.
Ask for chuco.
He has one eye.
[laughter.]
[laughing.]
- Hey.
How's the kid? - Oh, he'll be all right, I think.
He's in shock.
How are you? - Oh, me? I'm, uh--I'm good.
I'm just I'm still trying to figure out the city.
I wasn't really prepared for the weather.
First it's hot.
Then it's cold.
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know it helps to dress in layers.
- Yeah Probably need a good windbreaker.
Both: Yeah.
- There are a lot of outlet stores.
You can probably find something for cheap.
- Yeah.
That sounds good.
- There's, like, an l.
L.
Bean or something.
You know, they sell those jackets With the removable lining.
They come in lots of colors.
I have to go now.
- Okay.
All right, I'll talk to you later.
- You're angry.
- Of course I'm angry, conrad.
You really took advantage of me.
- I'm sorry about that, okay? But I was suffering-- ow! I'm still a human being.
I deserve some respect.
- You know, lying drug addicts with devious agendas Don't get to call the shots in the hospital.
- Well, judgmental nurses in cheery smocks Don't get to throw stones at patients who are in pain.
- [sighs.]
- I'm taking the oxycontin to manage a situation-- A horrible physical situation.
- What situation? - I have a persistent ringing in my ear.
- Oh, boo hoo.
The ringing in your ear-- it's a side effect of oxycontin.
- No, the--the ringing is the reason Why I started taking the oxycontin in the first place.
- Conrad-- - look, am I drug addict? Yes.
Have I lost my job because of it? Yes.
Have I stolen my mother's flat screen To support my addiction? Absolutely.
That happened, okay? But it's because of this sound.
I used to teach russian lit at laguardia college.
I used to volunteer at npr.
Will shortz once said hi to me at a pledge drive.
I had a life, damn it, But not anymore because of this ringing.
[sighs.]
- Well Maybe you should see a doctor, then.
- Well, maybe you should go see a doctor.
Wait.
Look, I'm sorry.
It-- It's just that I have seen doctors.
And they tell me it's nothing, But it's--it's not nothing.
It's torture.
It's the sound of-- of gravel rubbing together.
It's like a-- it's like a metal trash can Being dragged down the street.
Please, you have to help me.
[cheers and applause.]
- All right, bobby, come on.
You can do it.
Over the plate, baby-- one more out.
Let's go, let's go.
- Bobby sucks.
- Stop it.
My mom drank a lot when she was pregnant.
There's a good chance You know, fetal alcohol syndrome.
- Well, let's take fetal alcohol bobby out And let somebody who doesn't have brain damage pitch.
[bat clangs.]
- yeah! [cheers and applause.]
- So, ryan, you're friends with this guy valentino, right? - Nice casual segue, sone.
- Hey, I'm just making conversation.
I just feel sorry for you over there, Dropping balls all afternoon.
Three flanagan boys, And the only one with the sports gene is your little sister.
It's just sad.
- Sad? Sad is you beating around the bush With me about some guy that you like, Instead of just nutting up and calling him.
- I don't call guys.
- Okay, I'm just gonna throw this out there.
Do you think we might actually win sometimes If we didn't drink during the game? - That is the dumbest thing you have ever said.
- Hey, mike's putting in that amish girl to pitch.
I love her.
- Well, I'm not quite sure which team she's batting for, If you get what I'm saying.
- What are you saying? Lesbian? No.
Look how silky her hair is.
[cheers and applause.]
- Strike.
- Yeah! - Hey, look at that! Rainbow brite brings the heat.
- Chloe! - Hey You got trouble.
- Oh, hey.
How's the head? Dr.
--Dr.
Sands.
- Hi.
What are you doing here? - Uh, chloe invited me.
Thought it'd be a fun thing to do on a Saturday.
- This guy's good, I can tell.
Well, I'm up.
Just jump in when you're ready.
- All right.
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't know you'd be here.
- It's just that this is my game, my family-- They're all here.
- I'll go.
- No, wait! You can't just go, how weird is that gonna look? Um Play two innings, fake an injury, and leave.
No, uh, wait, three innings.
- [chuckles.]
- that's good.
- Three.
- Yeah.
- [exhales deeply.]
- Hey, who's that guy? Chloe said he served in iraq.
- Nobody.
- That's not the guy that you told me about? - No.
- Yo, you're full of crap.
- Okay, maybe he is, but nothing is going on.
And if you tell anybody anything, I'm gonna tell leanne you had sex with that waitress.
- Technically, it wasn't sex.
It was manual.
- Oh, yeah? I don't know a manuel, maybe leanne does.
I'll ask her.
[cheers and applause.]
[cheers and applause.]
[bat clangs.]
[all cheering.]
[ringing.]
- Hello? [ringing continues.]
[high-pitched whirring.]
[explosion.]
[soulful pop music playing on radio.]
- Thanks, kenny.
- You're welcome.
- Mike? Mike! Can you come in here, please? - Yes, darling? What can I do for you? - Tell me what's wrong with this picture.
- You mean the issue with the plumbing? - I can't stay in a place that doesn't have a shower.
- Well, I'll just go get the garden hose, And I'll spray you down.
- Maybe you should open up a day spa.
- Look, I'm going as fast as I can, But I got to work on this between my other jobs.
We need income streams, babe.
- We need a stream of water coming out of the shower.
And what happened to the bathtub? And what about walls and a ceiling? - I'll get to it, I promise.
- If I was a paying client, mike, You would have this all done by now.
It's like I agreed to come back, And you stop trying.
I just need to see a little progress every day.
- Where are you going? - I'm gonna take a shower at work.
I'll see you later.
- Her lung function's shutting down.
I'd be surprised if she made it through the night.
Let's just try and keep her comfortable.
- [sighs softly.]
[sighs.]
Hey, it's me.
Sonia.
- I'm here.
- Oh, hi.
Thanks for coming.
- Not a problem at all.
I was glad you called.
- Well, I only called 'cause I needed a favor.
- It's fine that you called.
I'm happy that you called.
You don't have to make excuses.
- I needed a favor.
And you're the only cop I know.
- Hey, sone.
- Okay, fine.
Why didn't you call me back? You don't just walk away from this.
- You don't just walk away from this either.
You said you would call.
I was respecting that.
- A man should call a woman after sex.
- Ah.
- That's all I'm saying.
But forget it, I don't have time to explain the world to you.
I actually do need a favor.
[monitor beeping.]
- You don't know who she is? - Mm-mm.
It looks like she has a kid, though.
She has a caesarean scar.
She was found in the bathroom of that donut shop on washington.
- Tranny donuts? - No, hooker donuts.
Tranny donuts is on sixth.
She's trying to die.
I'd like to find some family if I can.
- I'll see what I can do.
- Thank you.
- All right, I'm going.
Thanks for calling, by the way.
It was great to hear from you When you called me.
- I only called you because I needed a favor.
- Right.
- How we doing? I want you to try a little physical therapy today.
Listen I served in iraq.
I saw a lot of guys who lost limbs.
This is not a game-ender, Especially since you still have your knee.
- I can't even look at that ugly stump.
- I'll look at it.
Let's look at it togeth-- - no.
Don't touch me.
- Where's my leg? - Excuse me? - My leg--where is it? You guys just took it, and nobody asked me.
- Is that what this is about? - I don't want you in here.
You don't like me.
I don't like you.
I don't want to hear your stories about iraq or whatever.
I just want to be alone.
Will you get out of here, please? Just leave.
- [sighs.]
God.
[stomps floor.]
- Oh, hey.
Veronica, hi.
Can I ask you a question? - If you can walk with me.
- Promise you won't laugh.
- Okay.
Okay, um, it's about conrad, the oxycontin guy.
He explained to me that the only reason Why he started taking drugs in the first place Is because he had this horrible ringing in his ear, That the oxycontin is the only thing that helps.
- [laughing.]
- hey! You said you wouldn't laugh.
- Sorry.
Go on.
- The thing is I believe him.
I think he's telling the truth.
I mean, he really looks like he's suffering.
And I don't know, I think he could be maybe, Like, meniere's disease or something? [man speaking spanish on television.]
- Hey, hector.
- Hey.
- I'm looking for a leg.
- What kind of leg? - Caucasian male, left leg-- Amputated below the knee day before yesterday.
You think you still have it? - What do you want the leg for? - This kid didn't get to say good-bye.
He needs, you know Closure.
- This seems unsanitary, and I don't believe in closure.
- Okay, well, thank you for your opinion, But I need the leg.
- What's your question? - What? - Your question--you said that you had a question.
- I'm sorry, I was just a little distracted By the dismembered body parts.
[sighs.]
okay, if it's not meniere's disease, Then it's something else-- A brain tumor maybe? - Found it.
- Hector, that leg is black.
That is a black person's leg.
- He's gonna know the difference? - Yeah, he's a pale irish dude.
I know you're not on board with this exercise, But can you work with me, please? - Okay.
- So, anyway, I-I want to run tests, But they all think that he's a drug addict and I'm a dingbat, And I'm just trying to understand How far am I supposed to go for a patient? - Look what I'm doing right now.
Your job is to advocate for your patient.
If you think that he's sick, he's probably sick.
You got to go with your gut.
Unfortunately, your gut is from lancaster, pennsylvania, So I don't really know what to say about that.
Hey! Here it is! Found my leg! Look at that.
Oh, cheer up.
You're in the thick of it.
It's a good thing.
Convince harris to run the tests.
Just, you know, work him a little, Flirt with him a little, Use your feminine ways Unless that's not your cup of tea.
- I can do that.
- Okay, good.
Let's go.
It's depressing in here.
- I heard that.
[phone ringing.]
- Hello.
- It's me.
- How'd you find the address? - It was really hard.
- Really? - No.
Found her car in the parking lot.
Her name's marion green.
Her son's name is david.
By the way, we can drop this charade anytime And go get some dinner.
- It's not a charade.
I just want to go tell this guy his mother is dying, So he can go to the hospital and say good-bye.
- I don't understand.
You must have what, like Why are you so invested in this bag lady? - She's wearing this charm bracelet.
It had the eiffel tower on it.
And it was old, like she'd had it for a long time.
It just made me think Maybe when she was younger, she went to paris.
And then at the end of the trip, She bought that little charm bracelet to remember it.
And then that same woman comes back Hits a run of bad luck, Gets hiv, And ends up collapsed in the bathroom of hooker donuts.
It's sad How a person's life can just fall off the rails like that.
- You know, she probably stole that bracelet, right? - Yeah, I know.
She's somebody.
I just thought you'd like to know.
- Well, you thought wrong.
I don't want anything to do with that woman.
She made her bed.
- She's your mother, and she's dying.
- You don't know a thing about me.
She's a drunk.
She's a liar.
And I'm glad she's dying.
I thank you for coming, but I'm--I'm closing the door now.
[door slams closed.]
- You're one hard-core, crazy bitch.
- You said you wanted to see it.
- I said that in a fit of rage and sadness.
What is the matter with you? [sobbing.]
- That leg is just skin and bone, you know.
It helped you, but then it had to come off.
It would've killed you.
You're here and here.
You're still you.
It's gonna be okay.
I know it doesn't seem like it, but it is.
- I'm still an idiot.
- A little bit, yeah.
Yeah.
Let's look at your leg now.
You ready? - A stump-- I have a stump.
- I prefer the term "nub".
This is your body.
It still works.
You just have to get used to it.
The prosthetics are crazy now.
There's some seriously bionic stuff out there.
- [inhales deeply.]
can I keep my leg? - No.
- Why? - 'cause it's gross, and it smells bad.
- Well, what are we gonna do with it? - The mri screen for meniere's disease Came back negative, mr.
Bellingham.
We'll be releasing you this afternoon.
- I read online About the vestibular evoked myogenic potential testing.
- No, no.
We're done here.
When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, Not zebras.
It's a side effect of abusing oxycontin.
It's simple-- lay off the drugs, And I'm sure you'll see an improvement.
Chloe, can I speak with you outside? Chloe, you're going to have to use better judgment.
You're gonna be an easy mark For every unsavory character looking for sympathy.
- I swear to god I'll cut my ear off If you don't give me that test.
I swear to god! Nothing? Nothing? Seriously? No one? I'm gonna do it.
Fine.
Here I go.
Ow.
Ow.
What is wrong with you people? Why is no one stopping-- - [gasps.]
- Would you like to say a few words? - Left leg [sighs.]
The first time I remember thinking about you Was when todd hit you with that dart.
Oh, that hurt.
So we kicked him in the balls.
[chuckles.]
And I remember, like, climbing trees, running away from cops, Wearing flip-flops.
You were a good leg, Really good.
I wish I hadn't done that stupid thing the other day, But I did, and I'm sorry.
I wasn't taking care of you.
This is This is hard.
You know that, uh, phantom-pain thing, Like, where you feel pain in your leg Even though you don't have a leg? - Yeah.
- Well, I don't like that idea.
That freaks me out.
So I'd like to just be able to say good-bye now And have that be the end of it.
Do you think that's a possibility? - Yes.
Yes, I do.
- Okay.
[sighs.]
Toss it in there, then? - Oh, god, no! No.
No, no, no.
This is just a symbolic gesture.
We're taking it back to bio-waste.
It gets trucked out of here.
There's, you know, zoning laws About burning human flesh in cities.
- Right, because the smoke gets in the clouds, And then it rains, and then people become zombies.
- Yeah, that's totally why.
- [sighs.]
Come on.
Just drink something.
Conrad.
- [crying softly.]
- please don't cry.
- I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I can't take this anymore.
It's this sound-- this noise It's like somebody revving a harley right next to you At a red light, but the light never changes.
It's killing me, and no one believes me.
They won't even authorize any more testing.
- I believe you, conrad.
- Yeah.
Well That and a nickel.
[sighs.]
What are you doing? - Shh.
[soft whooshing.]
I hear it.
I hear it, conrad.
- Come on! - No.
Where are we going? - No, it's just-- it's just gonna take a minute.
No, you don't understand.
- I do understand.
I understand I have patients.
I understand I don't have any time for this.
- I just--I just need your expert opinion.
Doctor harris, is that a new shirt? - Well, actually it is.
- Hey.
- Oh, my god.
No, not again.
- No, just shh.
Just wait.
You can hear it on the fetal heart monitor, just listen.
[soft whooshing.]
It's like the ocean.
[whooshing continues.]
- Well You have a blood vessel that's about to rupture, young man.
I'm very glad that we got to the bottom of this.
- Thank you.
[monitor beeping.]
[monitor flatlines.]
[sad music.]
- All right, marion, let's go.
- You forgot to take her bracelet off.
Maybe her family wants it.
- Leave it on her.
Wait.
Rest in peace, marion green.
Okay.
Hey, it's me.
You still up for getting some dinner? - All together, shall we? - Tomorrow creeps this petty pace.
- Good night, guys.
- Good night.
- Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow.
And, uh Bring your chess face.
- [chuckles.]
- You're playing chess with harris? That sounds awesome.
You must be desperate.
- Well, I, uh, don't have anyone else to socialize with.
I don't know anybody else.
Looks like harris is my best friend.
- Well, I'm your friend.
- Stop.
Every time we talk, it could not be more awkward.
It's painful.
Besides, I didn't come to this suck-hole of a city To be friends with you.
- Hey, hey, hey.
This is where I live, all right? There are beautiful parts.
- Don't defend new jersey.
It's marginally better than iraq.
That's the best thing you can say about it.
- Well, that is your snobby opinion.
- No, you know what? Actually, that's the truth.
The earth is round, the sun rises in the east, And new jersey sucks.
Like, I'd like to get a fresh plum.
I'd like to go get some decent mexican food.
I'd like to go surfing.
But I can't 'cause I live in new jersey.
I'd like to actually see a face that's not pale and angry, But I can't 'cause I live in new jersey.
Oh, and do you know why the faces are pale and angry? Because the people live in new jersey.
I hate it here.
- If you hate it so much, why don't you just leave? - And you and I are not friends, all right? Let's just drop that pretense right now.
You know why I'm not gonna leave? 'cause I'm not giving up.
Let me be clear about that.
I'm not gonna do anything to sabotage your marriage, But I don't think I have to.
I think it's gonna fall apart on its own.
And when it does, I'll be here waiting In new jersey.
- Well, you just watch me make this marriage work! And you can surf in cape may, dummy.
Mike.
- Hey.
- What? You didn't pay the power company? This is exactly what I am talking about.
- Okay, calm down.
Of course I paid the power bill! I lit some candles to be romantic, you big jerk.
- You're trying to be nice.
- [chuckles softly.]
Come on.
I got a surprise for you.
[romantic rock ballad.]
- Mike It's beautiful.
- It's a work in progress.
Get in.
I'll go get you a glass of wine.
- Okay.